Slaigh MacCooper - 1550
Bah! Even now the words of me great-great-somethin' granddad sound like bloody fantasy. But there be no denyin', the spirit of a thief is strong in me family. And as I write me own entry in this, the Thievius Raccoonus, I only hope to carry on that spirit to me children, no matter how hard a highlander like me must fight.
E'er since Sir Galleth founded the Cooper Order down in England, me family's been livin' the grand life. The flashy English ancestor of mine taught his children the movements learned from the Thievius Raccoonus, along with his own. Some of his descendants had gone on to pursue the life of a thief, to mixed success. The Cooper Clan had since migrated up to Scotland, and we established ourselves as a respected noble family here (as a front for thieving quests). All the while, we kept the ragged book safe and it now sits in my careful possession.
Of course I never expected to take up thievin' like me ancestors in these pages. I was a hefty young lad and couldna attempt the high-flyin' acrobatics the other Coopers could. So I was content to live as a blacksmith, providin' weapons for me cousins in the Scottish army. It was a simple life, and in time I honed me craft. But as always, history can change unexpectedly.
When I was twenty-seven, an English lord had invaded the Scottish realm, and our people were losing land to new tariff laws. When the new sheriff was appointed in our city, we in Clan Cooper refused to give up our estate, and as such, the sheriff waged war on us. Every fighting member of our family battled to protect our castle, but they were eventually outnumbered by the English forces and the Cooper estate was lost. I could only stand and watch as me kin fought in vain and only managed to escape after retrievin' the Thievius Raccoonus. Alone and astray, I did what any Cooper could do: slip into the shadows.
Only a few of our clan survived the onslaught, retreating to safety to care for their children. But as I wandered into a pub not long after, I met up with Caroline Cooper, an adoptive member of Clan Cooper. While not a thief at first, Caroline served as a diplomat to our clan and was even trained in Cooper stealth. She told me she was assemblin' a bloody gang of thieves to retaliate against the sheriff who stole our land. I was right skeptical of such a plan, on account that I was no thief. But Carlonie mentioned that her gang was missing a member who could provide muscle for the job. Somethin' told me I was slated for that role.
I agreed to help me partner Caroline restore Clan Cooper, but I would need time. As she and a few other thieves carried out robberies as highwaymen in preparation, I trained for months to strengthen me body, while takin' notes from the wisdom of me forefathers. I even forged a stone Cooper Cane with wood from a caber, big enough clobber any gaggle of pukes that got in me way! Crude but effective! Soon I was ready and strong enough to carry me whole team (literally) and we set out to retake Castle Cooper.
A setback we found first was that the drawbridge to the castle was locked on the inside. We searched for an opening in the sheer walls until I found somethin' remarkable. A bright aura appeared to me upon a small ledge that circled the castle walls across the moat. I knew it had to be that bloody thief aura I've read about; fact is stranger than fantasy I suppose. With a leap of faith across the moat, I found myself balancin' upon the ledge as if me body were one with the wall behind me. Slowly I skirted along the edge, keepin' quiet and vigilant. Soon I found a weak crack in the wall, and with a single blow from me fist, I busted me way inside. Before I had doubted meself in learning the stealth of Coopers past. Perhaps not all of their blood is lost on me.
Immediately I had alerted me presence to patrolling guards inside the castle. But they were no match; I beat those bloody trespassers down in droves like weeds, quickly clearing the area around me. I raised me cane and smashed the drawbridge lock and soon me mates were stormin' the castle, sneakin' everywhere and stealin' all they could. While we slowly stole back me family's wealth, I provided protection to me gang by knockin' every English head I saw. By the time the sun rose, we had successfully taken back Castle Cooper and driven out the cowardly sheriff. We showed those invaders that no Cooper would surrender what's rightfully theirs, even if kingdoms around them should fall.
Sure enough, Scottish land was bein' fought over with the new English dominance. Having been forced outta me home, I took sympathy and offered me services as a thief to drive out any invaders from threatened Scottish homesteads. Me mates and I carried out sieges against the English all across the Uplands. Within only a few short years, many a Scot had stood their ground against the conquering English, and Clan Cooper had grown many pounds richer. Aye but it was a series of victories not without tragedy. We lost Caroline in a battle outside Edinburgh not long after retaking me castle. Her memory will be immortalized in these pages.
After Scottish rule was reassured in the Uplands, I put thieving aside to rebuild me home and start a family. For several years, I had returned to livin' the grand life, this time as the patriarch of Clan Cooper, watchin' me children grow and teachin' them what I was taught by me ancestors. But alas, fate had different plans for me. A mysterious letter had arrived one day. Some anonymous puke threatened to exact revenge against me for whatever reason, promising to wipe out me family line. I was not one to shy away from a threat. But when it came to me own offspring, I would take no chances. Home was no longer safe.
I am writing this entry into the Thievius Raccoonus just before sending me son Rob and me daughter Suzanne off from Edinburgh. The day has been heart-wrenchin' and I struggle to let them go, but I know me children will be better off escaping this mysterious enemy. In addition to a ton of gold, I'll give them this book in the hopes that they'll pass on the same wisdom I had learned. They plan on hiding in France, just outside of English dominion but still close to home. I hope dearly that they will avoid the danger that I now must face, but I know they're old enough to fend for themselves. Me heart is with Rob and Suzanne, and so is the blood of Coopers.
Until I meet this unknown assailant who threatened me family, I will continue to hold me home and preserve me birthright. I may be gettin' on in years, but I am confident the Cooper line will continue for centuries to come, and I will remain both a Cooper thief and a Highland warrior, fighting to the last breath for me family honor. So come at me ya bloody shadow! Me cane is waitin' for a pummelin'!