Shards Under a Mask

by The Scarf Girls

After the events in Lies Under a Mask, Suwa Nanaka's heart needed to heal. Thankfully for her, she is not alone doing it. This time, Suzuki Aina is by her side to gather all the Shards of her fallen Mask and Heart. How can this affect Aqours, the project and Nanaka herself? Moving on is always hard. The 3 Part of the Masquerade Series.

9. Chapter 9

Hello! Yes, we are late.

And we are really, deeply sorry. （ つ︣﹏╰）

First, we want to wish every one of you a great 2022 and hopefully, it can bring good things for everyone!

For us, it started a bit shady, this is why we want to announce that we finally open a Kofi account! ❤（っ＾▿＾）!

We LOVE to write these stories and we want to keep doing it, but times are getting rough for both of us, healthy and monetary speaking, this is why our updates have been a bit delayed with time.

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Back to the Fic.

Yes, Long chapter as always, with LOTS OF DETAILS as always.

And is related 18+ as always hahaha

This chapter happens in between Masquerade 13 if you need to go back there and fill the blanks

Have a great ride!

Thank you!

Misha.

---

Shards Under a Mask.

Chapter 9.

Swamped.

A numb feeling invaded her. Stunning her.

It was suffocating her.

It was hot, it was sweaty, blurry, and out of control.

Her ears felt plugged, as if she was underwater, all sounds feeling like something distant, she couldn't help but tighten her closed eyes.

She held her breath while grabbing the sheets tightly with the little strength she had left, as if her life was depending on it. Her head felt lighter, her limbs like jelly, and her hips out of control.

No matter what that would look like, she was on total autopilot.
If she was still conscious it was because of the euphoric feeling of having successfully concluded the Mini Live. The rest was just her hips doing the mechanical thing related to sex, and everything that was required.

When you're taught through feelings, sometimes the body just reacts to these kinds of situations.

She tightened her teeth.

Something was telling her, deep down, that she was at her limit.

A pant escaped her lungs but was camouflaged by a moan.

That sound cleared her senses, her ears unplugged as the noise started invading her surroundings once again.

The intense knocking of the headboard, the sheets moving, a vibrating buzz mixed with wet sounds...

She opened her eyes.

Everything was kind of blurry, her eyes itched, and why not, hurting, making everything confusing and watery.

"Oh my God—" she heard from her back in a gasp.

She tightened her teeth once again, containing the pain on her legs.

She used all her leftover strength to find support on the headboard, grabbing it with a heavy thud, and pulling her torso up to recover to a more decorous position, and not being all submissive on the bed, but a hand just grabbed her right hip, keeping her halfway up as the thrusting kept going.

She gasped.

She felt how her body just reacted to the stimulation.

Somehow trapped in the situation, she tightened her grip on the headboard, and moving her head backward she started moaning.

Behind her, moaning started too.

The panting, the thrusting, and oh God the moans.

So loud, that she bet the neighbors would be very pleased with that vocal technique.

The thrusting intensified, as the headboard rocked louder, their breathing all mixed up with the wet sound escaping from between their legs.

It didn't take too long for both to conclude in maybe the finest and most in tone moans they had ever had.

If the sound director had heard them in sync, he would probably have chosen them to make a duo.

Of course, the Franchise just wouldn't allow that kind of content.

The heavy pants filled the room with their elaborate breathing.

She felt soft kisses tracing her sweaty back, as the hand that tightly grabbed her hip left her softly.

"You ok?" She heard from behind once again.

She just nodded, not minding turning around, just shutting her eyes once again trying to calm her breathing and heart, but somehow everything felt so tight, so suffocating, the sounds becoming white noise once again...

"I'm taking it out…"

She heard the announcement from the person behind her, somehow, the voice sounded far away, and something was slowly pulled out from between her legs.

She grunted from the feeling, but then it felt liberating.

Suwa Nanaka fell on her knees immediately.

Still trying to hold on to the headboard, but her jelly legs just couldn't hold her anymore.

"No more..." murmured Nanaka softly, trying to fight the urge to faint.

She closed her eyes softly, she was just too tired to keep going on.

"Are you ok…? Did I hurt you?"

She heard.

Nanaka just shook her head.

"No, but … I'm tired…I had enough..." said Nanaka, almost fainting.

She felt her body all sweaty and numb.

It had been too much already.

She let go of the headboard, wiped some sweat off her forehead, and realized that the room was too hot; she looked to her right, the window was foggy behind the curtains.

It was dark outside.

Then she realized that she had lost all sense of time.

"It's raining again..." said a soft voice beside her, "here…"

Nanaka turned her head to her left and greeted a very shy Aina sitting beside her, offering bottled water.

Nanaka accepted it with a shy smile.

"Thank you…"

Aina smiled sweetly at her, then drank from her own bottle.

Nanaka looked at her bottle, it felt cold to her touch, contrasting to her hot and sweaty skin, it felt refreshing.

"What is it?" asked Aina after a few long sips.

She looked at Nanaka now with concern.

"You didn't like it?"

"No… is not that…" murmured Nanaka softly, and then drank from the bottle.

She drank as if there was no tomorrow.

"I know you are tired, I am too… but… this was our only opportunity…" said Aina in a happier tone.

"Uhm.." hummed Nanaka like in trance.

Aina left her bottle on the nightstand and stood up out of the bed, grabbed something from it, and walked towards the bathroom. Totally bottomless.

It was... our only opportunity…
...?

Nanaka blinked tiredly and looked at the bottle again.

She couldn't help but feel sad.

She drank once again from it, feeling her life coming back.

It was Tuesday, December 27th, yes, the same day as the Mini Live, and not happy of only performing in two sessions on that day, Aina insisted on sealing the great and golden victory in the "Hotel Vista", near Nanaka's place.

The Hotel had been first suggested for the Christmas date, but since Aina just couldn't get inside her pants in Odaiba, they ended up in that fancy Hotel on the fake island. So Aina managed to pull some of her strings and changed the reservation for Tuesday night instead.

Of course, it was a surprise for Nanaka, because THAT hadn't been in her plans at all.

Production had given them December 24th and 25th off, because it would have been cruel to make not just the members, but the whole Staff, go to Lantis Building and keep up with practice and rehearsals for the Mini Live on those magical days.

But they needed to come back on the 26th, fully recharged and ready to give it all on stage.

It was madness.

And Nanaka couldn't say that she had enjoyed a good rest those days...

Because having her parents and grandma at home was something, but having Aina too on both days, was something else.

The Christmas date ended up really well, and lovely, but of course, it was exhausting!

Keeping up with Aina's stamina in a place where there was no one to stop them, it could be said that they kissed each other's shadows and souls until they fell asleep from exhaustion.

Aina was a great lover, but Nanaka had a limit.

The next day had been all about Christmas and family.

Nanaka loved Christmas and homemade dinner, but all the previous night's action had a toll on her, and she couldn't do more than spend it at home, like a potato, playing video games with Aina, and having a quick, small, but annoying argument with her.

Shuka had texted her the night of the date, and as Nanaka had ignored her, Shuka had had to call her on the next day.

It was silly, she was just calling to say "Merry Christmas", they didn't even talk about why or how Nanaka had gone with Aina to see the Aqours' Tree, but Aina took it out of context and started an argument.

Aina was annoyed by Shuka's existence around Nanaka. But what could she do?

Shuka was part of Aqours, and she was just trying to be nice. Aqours needed to be Untouchable.

Nanaka tried to be cool with the situation, arguing that Aina was being selfish, and was actually ruining her Christmas with that childish attitude. Aina, of course, pouted over it because Nanaka was right.

All Aqours members wished them a Merry Christmas on the LINE App, Arisa even video called them to send them her greetings, and show them her presents. She was indeed a dork, but an adorable one.

Of course, after that, Aina was looney and goofy self once again, laughing and joking, but for Nanaka, the mood had already been swamped.

They were working on their relationship, but Aina felt like a time bomb.

She could explode into anger, jealousy, or laughter. It was like Russian roulette.

So, of course, the next day, December 26th, she went back to practice like a zombie.

She tried to hide under Azalea's members just to feel sane, even if it was for a day. Focused on the real price that was pulling that Mini Live off, and the only way to do that was to keep her heart locked up.

She knew her things with Aina were working on at their own pace.

Period.

She did what she needed to do; follow the script, follow the dance routine, sing with all her lungs, and enjoy it to the fullest.

And that was really reflected on the Live.

They filled up the whole venue, they nailed every step, every song, nothing went particularly wrong, and the cherry on top was for her to announce her Center song.

At that moment of the show, Nanaka felt that everything had been worth it.

Sweat, blood, and tears, everything worth it, to see all Toyosu PIT covered in emerald green, Kanan's color, to congratulate her for the release of the HAPPY PARTY TRAIN song.

Her song.

Right then, everything felt like a dream.

She felt so high in all the excitement that she wasn't even aware that Shuka was all over her, ignoring Aina completely.

The euphoria, the joy, the excitement. Everything invaded her, but not only her, but all Aqours' members were also high with joy.

After the second session of the day, backstage was madness.

It was all laughter, hugs, and even tears.

If they could pull off a 2 session show on the same day, 16 songs in total, flawlessly, then, the First Live was possible.

They knew they could if they, as Aqours, stuck together.

The euphoria and excitement didn't vanish there.

At the end of the show, a few members decided to go out and celebrate the small but big step they had accomplished, but Aina and Nanaka had another idea.

Well, Aina at least did.

Nanaka was on the top of her euphoria, but she wanted to go home and finally sleep.

Sleep for 16 hours straight.

But Aina stopped the taxi outside of "Hotel Vista".

Of course, that surprised Nanaka, but not Aina.

She had planned that.

Truth be told, Nanaka was just too tired to even think, but how could she say "no" to Aina and her puppy eyes.

They had to celebrate this big accomplishment.

Maybe King and Aikyan liked to toast with beers, well, Aina would make love to the "Center Girl".

And that was enough to convince Nanaka.

Aina was making big efforts to fill Nanaka's happiness, and be there for her. Of course, when the Center thing had been announced to the crowd, all the members congratulated her, all, but Aina.

Remembering that the NanaShuka couple was still selling the lie, Aina took her distance on the congratulations and saw everything from afar.

She knew she would have the chance to congratulate Nanaka alone, and of course, that couldn't be done in Nanaka's place, because her parents and grandma were still there.

Nanaka's heart had been stolen from Aina's words and thoughts.

The fact that besides everything that was going on in their lives, the Live and all, Aina was still thinking about her and how to properly be with her in their private time.

That lit a fire and desire inside Nanaka's heart.

So no matter how tired she was feeling, she wanted to eat Aina's mouth and hug her all over, between the euphoria, happiness, and love that Aina made her feel…she just couldn't wait any longer.

And that was what she did the first second they entered their hotel room.

They dropped their bags, Nanaka pressed their bodies against the door and the rest was tango.

Their clothes started disappearing from their bodies and reappearing on the room's floor.

Against the door, on the hall, on top of the bed, towards the desk, to the window, to keep going onto the bed.

So no wonder Nanaka was almost on autopilot, feeling consumed by the ecstasy and the constant orgasms, until she said "no more".

Nanaka left her almost empty bottle on the nightstand, then hummed.

She had just realized that she was in a very small room, maybe so narrow that there was just one nightstand, and the bed was almost too close to the curtains.

Definitely, it had been a good call to end the Christmas date at the fancy hotel in Odaiba.

"Hotel Vista" was the typical and standard western kind of hotel. Not fancy at all, but it didn't work as a Love Hotel either.

The room was narrow, the toilet was apart from the bathroom, the vanity was even out on the desk in front of the bed. The bed was a normal 2 sized bed, but not king sized.

Definitely, Aina wouldn't get lost inside.

And there were some couches against the wall, connected on the other side of the nightstand, where there was a small piece of furniture which Nanaka assumed was the hidden bar. And a small table that rested in the middle of the couches, but seemed really small, almost doll size.

That Hotel was clearly just for business people, to pass by and move on. But regardless, it seemed like a good place, at least, clean.

After scanning the room, Nanaka's sight went straight towards the desk in front of her; she squeezed her thighs to the memory of her body against the desk, her hands trying to hold her up, while her butt stuck out for Aina to eat her out.

Without shame or decor.

But the distance between the bed and the desk was so minimal that she bet that Aina was even seated while eating her.

So helpful.

Nanaka blinked furiously trying to keep her head cool; she was the one begging for clemency, she couldn't be all heated up once again.

Aina entered the room once again, but stopped abruptly when her eyes met Nanaka's.

She was naked and with the purple toy in her hand.

Both shared a shy smile.

"You ok?…" asked Aina a bit concerned, then moved to the vanity on the desk, "This isn't very comfy…" she said as she opened the faucet and started washing her hands and the toy.

"You went with that thing to the toilet?" Asked Nanaka incredulous.

"Just because I thought the sink was there…" said Aina scrubbing it.

Nanaka blinked, totally distracted by Aina's cute butt moving from one side to another from the movements of washing the toy, or her hands.

She bit her lips.

Her butt was just like a perfect peach.

And they were moving too sexyly, inviting her to have a bite.

Nanaka shook her head; truth was that she just couldn't face another round.

"What is it? You wanna ride again?" asked Aina, looking at her through the mirror.

"Eh?!" Snapped Nanaka, red as a tomato, Aina just laughed like an old man.

"C'mon! Suwawa, I'm watching you…" continued Aina while scrubbing, "I don't mind…"

"Don't—don't know what you are talking about…" said Nanaka shyly, trying to look to the other side, she focused on the bottled water and took it; it was almost empty.

"We should ask for more…" said Aina and then she closed the faucet.

"You should dress…" said Nanaka and took a final from the bottle.

"Eh? Why?" asked Aina with the most normal of her tones, then started drying the toy with a towel.

"Decency," sentenced Nanaka.

"What's that?" asked Aina amused.

Nanaka just rolled her eyes and left the empty bottle on the nightstand, beside Aina's. Then scanned the bed.

It was a mess.

But she remembered between the ecstasy and frenzy of Aina's touches and kisses, that there were some clothes on the bed that just flew to somewhere around.

Tapping around the bed, and sifting through the linens she found a courtesy nightwear.

Nanaka unfolded them and looked at it judgmentally, then snorted.

Maybe if she knew that her night would end up this way she would have brought pajamas or something, but since she hadn't been made aware, she had to settle and improvise.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" asked Aina showing outrage while turning around, toy in hand.

"What?… getting dressed…" said Nanaka normally.

"Yes, but why? Are ya' cold?" asked Aina in a hurry, moving the toy in her hand.

"Aina, I'm not comfortable naked…" said Nanaka while putting on the nightwear. It fit.

Then her eyes became stuck on the toy in Aina's hand.

"Could... could you put that away as well?" asked Nanaka shyly.

Aina stood there, looking at her astonished.

"What?" asked Nanaka dryly.

"Nothing," said Aina shaking her head, "you are just so beautiful."

Both stood silent in the middle of the room, Nanaka feeling her cheeks red as a tomato, once again.

Then Aina smiled wide at her.

"Why do you want me to put this away?" asked Aina moving the toy happily.

"Because, I'm not comfortable with that thing out either..." deadpanned Nanaka, to later leave the bed.

The room wasn't big at all, so the other nightwear was easy to spot on the couch.

"C'mon, don't be so prudish, there's nothing new here...oh—" stopped Aina abruptly, because Nanaka had just thrown the gown at her face.

"Savage..." murmured Aina.

"I know it's not new... but decency." sentenced Nanaka dryly, then moved to the furniture where she thought the bar was, and after a few seconds feeling around it, she found the door.

"You are just too concerned about that; we are alone here..." said Aina, dropping the toy on the bed as she grabbed the nightwear, "...and this won't fit me, you know that."

"I'm improvising..." said Nanaka not even looking at her, her sight studying the bar.

Besides the regular soft drinks, a few beers, and some canned juice, there were 2 more bottled waters, she took one and turned towards Aina.

"You want another one?"

Aina was still naked with the clothes between her hands, somewhat gloomy.

Nanaka blinked a few times trying to read Aina's face, but nothing came to her mind.

"What?" asked Nanaka, in a way losing her patience

"Nothing..." said Aina mournfully and dropped the clothes, "Maybe we can order something! My treat"

Aina turned around, dropping the piece of clothes on the bed and moved to the other side of the desk looking for a menu or something.

"What?" murmured Nanaka in disbelief.

Aina's appetite was first.

She didn't mind having clothes on, or if the room was a mess.

She wandered through life like that; carelessly.

Nanaka closed the bar door and frowned.

"Well, there is lots of variety..." said Aina giving Nanaka her back. She was clearly studying the menu, or provoking her…

"I'm not hungry..." said Nanaka in her monotone, but her sight locked on Aina's perfect peachy butt.

"Oh! Really?" continued Aina but with no particular enthusiasm.

"Uhm..." Nanaka hummed, still frowning, she left her bottle and started to pick up their scattered clothes.

"What are you doing?" asked Aina looking to her side.

"Tidying up— can you please put something on?" tried Nanaka again, this time with a more imperative tone.

Aina blinked a few times, took a deep breath, tightened her lips, and dropped the menu. She wasn't happy.

Without saying a thing and almost like a scolded child, she took her handy backpack that was closer to the bed and placed it over it.

Silently, she took out an oversized hoodie.

"Is this good enough for ya'?" asked Aina of course, with sarcasm.

Nanaka blinked and felt her frown grow a few inches.

"How is it that you are prepared, and I'm not?" asked Nanaka.

"This is my training hoodie..." answered Aina as she started getting dressed.

"What about the toy? Are you practicing with it too?"

Nanaka was now feeling annoyed.

Of course, Aina was doing everything without even consulting her...

It felt wrong.

"Well, that was in my backpack too..." answered Aina, finishing putting the hoodie on.

"How can you go around with that in your backpack?! I mean, we went to the Lantis Building, we were in Toyosu PIT the whole day, and that thing—" Nanaka was saying, but was heavily interrupted by Aina.

"It WAS in my backpack, all that time, it was inside, and gratefully the Staff doesn't check our bags, period. Geez! Suwawa, don't be a pain, please!" said Aina now annoyed, with a clear serious face and all disheveled from putting the hoodie on.

Nanaka bit her lips, maybe she was being a little pushy?

"I'm sorry, seems that everything I do bothers you!" continued Aina hurt, and of course, annoyed.

"What? No, that's not—!" tried Nanaka.

"It is! Suwawa, we have been fucking, we are all sweaty! And I thought you would like to take a bath! But here you are, pushing me to get dressed, pushing me to put the buddy away, knowing that thanks to it I'm able to make you feel good, my fingers hurt, not to mention my wrist! And my jaw needs some rest too! Also, I haven't had time to go home and put it back! So please, give me a break!"

Nanaka tightened her lips and opened her eyes wide.

She didn't know that Aina was somehow suffering being with her.

Aina took another breath and started massaging her forehead, like counting to 10 or something. Maybe mentally repeating "Gusfraba" or some similar Hokkaido mantra.

Maybe Aina had had enough of Nanaka already, and she was losing her patience.

Remembering that Aina wasn't someone particularly patient regarding actions, but used to be very patient on things referring to love, but not really because she had it in her, but because Nanaka was already taken, and they were part of the same group.

So, in the end, no, Aina wasn't patient at all.

But she was there, with all her love and heart, to endure everything for Nanaka.

When you are taught through feelings, all she knew was what she could realize.

"I'm sorry," said Nanaka softly.

Aina looked at her with eyes wide open.

"You are right…" continued Nanaka.

"Am…Am I?" Asked Aina softly.

"Yes… sorry, it's been a long day…and is not your fault..." said Nanaka now with a kind smile and taking a seat on the bed.

Aina just raised her eyebrows in sadness.

"I just… I don't know how I'm still awake by now…" said Nanaka massaging her now tired eyes.

"Well, it's no small feat what we did today… we should be… happy and euphoric…" said Aina moving towards Nanaka and taking a seat beside her on the bed.

"I still can't believe it…" murmured Nanaka.

"It's like a dream right?"

"Yes… I feel… more confident… but equally terrified…" said Nanaka, like connecting to her feelings.

"Really?… I thought you—" Aina was saying.

"Yes, of course, what I said on stage was something; seeing the crowd… performing the Mini Live, yes, at that moment it was like being on top of the world… I… I don't know, it felt as if my destiny was to fly so high above, and I wouldn't be able to catch it, but today, I felt invincible… though now that the euphoria has faded…"

Nanaka paused and looked at Aina with a sad face, Aina blinked and touched her thigh, showing support.

"Destiny, who cares!" said Aina in her humorous tone, Nanaka smiled softly at her.

"First Live is next…" said Nanaka softly, almost like a murmur, as if it was a monster or something.

"Yes, but you are not alone…" said Aina.

"I…I know… but it is… Terrifying as well…" said Nanaka with a tired tone, "And I feel drowned and done, just from this Mini Live…"

"Oh…"

"Like, 'OK, I'm done, end Aqours already' or something…" said Nanaka now giggling.

"Like 'retire us' already?" asked Aina amused.

"Yes…"

"C'mon! Suwawa! We've done nothing yet!" said Aina with her loud and characteristic tone.

"How can you say that…? I gave it my all just now!..." said Nanaka in her gloomy tone, Aina gasped.

They fell silent for a few seconds, then Aina spoke once again.

"I see... you are this tired, and I'm ... I'm a fool..." said Aina softly in a sad tone.

"Eh? What are you saying?"

"Suwawa... if you were this tired..." started Aina, her eyes wide with sadness and looking at her, "then, you should have said 'no', and we could have just gone home, eat your mom's food, and then gone to sleep, what the hell are we doing here?"

Nanaka blinked a few times and slowly said...

"Having...sex?" she said but not quite convinced.

If she dared to review the events from the hotel entrance to the moment she said "no more", her participation hadn't been that significant...

It had mostly been Aina having a "Nana snack".

Not that she was complaining, she had indeed been moaning and enjoying it, but she was on the edge of fainting.

She was TIRED.

She had had a whole day's event that involved singing and dancing 16 songs, memorizing scripts, and performing several rehearsals.

This had been nonstop since the month started.

Why the hell was she having sex?

"Having sex, but to what price Suwawa…" said Aina sadly.

"But... but you—" Nanaka tried to retort.

"Yes, me, that's why I'm a fool, because I knew you were tired... and I saw that you were exhausted... but wanted to spend this night with you alone anyway..." said Aina with guilt.

Nanaka tightened her lips.

Somehow, Aina knew.

She always did anyway.

There was something inside Aina that could always tell what Nanaka was thinking and feeling.

Since the day they met.

That meant, that everything was on purpose?

Aina stood from the bed.

"I'm sorry…"

Nanaka blinked a few times with a sad face, once again feeling that the relationship was shaky.

But what the hell was right or wrong here?

Aina wanted to spend time with Nanaka, and she just wanted her bed.

Was that selfish?

Who was more selfish?

Aina trying to monopolize Nanaka, making her have sex knowing that she was tired as hell?

Or Nanaka, who didn't want to spend time with Aina but resting in her bed?

Nanaka grabbed Aina's hand, softly making her turn around; they locked gazes, sad ones.

"Don't be…" said Nanaka softly.

"But I—" tried Aina

Nanaka shook her head.

Aina just wanted to enjoy their time together, have the "opportunity" to be with her, because at her place that was forbidden.

Because while at work, it was forbidden too.

And what was worse, Aina was always the one who needed to be chill and stay put, while Nanaka did her thing with Shuka, real or fake.

It was there, doing harm.

Sometimes, in love… It is needed to give in.

"Let's enjoy ourselves… we deserve it…" said Nanaka with a smile and taking a mental note that she needed to push away her tiredness a little bit longer.

"Are… are you sure…?" asked Aina softly, "I…"

Nanaka smiled kindly at her and nodded.

Aina slowly sat back on the bed.

"You were hungry, weren't you?" Asked Nanaka nonchalantly, trying to at least gain a little bit of time.

She was tired, yes, Aina needed some love back, yes, but taking a few more minutes to take a break wouldn't delay what was inevitable.

"Well…" murmured Aina with a grin, "even if I've eaten a lot of 'Nana'… I could eat something more...solid…" said Aina licking her lips.

Nanaka's cheeks became wild red as she drifted her sight away from her.

Then, Aina exploded into her old man laughter.

"How can you do it…?" asked Nanaka trying to deflect the subject.

"What do you mean? Ya' really want me to go into details?… Ya' have quite a good technique too—" Aina was saying.

"No— no, I don't mean that!" Nanaka hurried to stop Aina from her sex technique analysis.

Aina moved her head to the side with a goofy smile.

"Eat…food, how do you do it? How is it that you have an appetite! It's past midnight!"

"Oh! that…" giggled Aina.

Nanaka blinked seriously.

"Well… what can I say?; I haven't eaten properly since Christmas…" said Aina with a normal tone, "Your mother and Grandma have such good cooking skills, how is it that you don't cook?"

Nanaka deadpanned.

"I'll leave…" said Nanaka, annoyed.

"Sorry…" giggled Aina moving her hands fast, trying to stop Nanaka from leaving, but she didn't move an inch.

"Uhm"

"Well, that was our last proper meal Suwawa, after that, it's been catering… quick tuna onigiri from the SevenEleven, and the nerves…" said Aina with a soft tone.

"Nerves? Were you nervous?" asked Nanaka with a serious tone.

"Of Course, Suwawa, ya' think I wasn't?" continued Aina with her normal tone.

Nanaka just gave her a shocked look.

"The fact that I laugh a lot, or joke a lot, doesn't mean I'm not nervous…" said Aina, then smiled wide, "It's my way to…deflect it; Rikako eats lots while being nervous…I just goof around…"

"I see…" said Nanaka, blinking.

"It was a big deal for me too ya' know…what if I messed up the leapfrog? Or miss a tone? Or forget the script?… There were a lot of things that could go wrong… " said Aina looking somewhere else than Nanaka.

"This Mini Live was a test for us all… Aqours, the Franchise; I can't take this lightly, as you are giving your 100%, I want to believe that all of us are doing the same, I'M doing the same… no one is left behind Suwawa…" continued Aina with her mature tone, her gaze still lost somewhere in the room.

Nanaka looked forward to nowhere in particular and let those words sink in.

"Yes, you are right…" murmured Nanaka.

"I was watching, ya' know?" Said Aina softly.

"Watching, what…?"

"You… while announcing the new Center song…" said Aina.

Nanaka looked at her with a soft gaze, Aina looked at her too, with kindness, her eyes even became watery.

"You were shining… no one deserves that Center more than you…" said Aina softly, and full of love.

"Re—really? You think so?" Asked Nanaka with doubt.

"Of course, your hard work paid off…" said Aina with her mature tone, "And seeing the venue turn green…and you happy, I'm sure you will be just fine singing it…"

Nanaka smiled at her.

"I'm sorry I… I couldn't congratulate you properly…" said Aina now with shyness and looking somewhere else.

"But you did—"

Aina shook her head.

"On stage…" said Aina, "Arisha and Shukashuu—"

"Don't…" interrupted Nanaka, "Don't make this a jealousy thing…."

"I can't fight it…I wanted to leave the stage, she was all over you, what the hell was that?!" said Aina with some shades of indignation.

"The rush of the moment, I don't know." said Nanaka with sincerity.

"That wasn't on the script… What was that? Improvisation?"

"Arisa hugged me too, I don't see you complaining about that!"

"But but… you know what I meant!" said Aina frustrated, closing her eyes.

"Aina, it's not a big deal, you needed to return your script! Everything happened too fast, and I needed to speak about it. I was doing my job, what if Shuka hugged me, it's irrelevant" said Nanaka trying to set the point and move off the topic.

Aina pouted like a scolded kid.

"Aqours should be an eight-member group…" murmured Aina pouting.

"Don't say that… we are nine, and if one of us is missing, the group will not be the same…at this point of the project, I doubt that one of us is easily replaceable." said Nanaka with her nonchalant tone.

They fell in silence for a moment.

Maybe trying to imagine an 8 member group. Of course, for Aina, eliminating Shuka from it would be optimal, but the project didn't work like that. At another time, maybe Shuka would have wished for the same, an Aqours without Aina.

Maybe even Nanaka herself thought about having an Aqours without the annoying Arisa Komiya bugging her.

But whoever was missing in the Unit, that hole would clearly be an emptiness too difficult to fill.

Everyone played an essential role in the Unit, Nanaka included.

Not knowing exactly which one yet, but she was sure that Anchan would feel that hole in the "Third Years" spot in the lineup.

Or maybe Arisa and King would feel her absence in Azalea.

They worked as one, Aqours was a 9 member group, and the Subunits were 3 member groups.

Whether Aina liked it or not.

No one was left behind.

"Yeah, I'm a fool, I shouldn't have said that... " said Aina softly, then giggled, "I like Shukashuu, she is a great dancer and a mood maker, but it frustrates me..."

"I know..." said Nanaka softly, understanding that she was the conflict point between them, because they actually used to get along quite well when Nanaka wasn't around.

"And as I said earlier, back at the Mini Live; we need Aqours, and I'm really happy to be able to perform in Yokohama Arena with them, that includes you...

"I know, I'm grateful about it too..." said Nanaka with a sad voice, "About everything actually...all the experiences I got in 2016...it all, felt like a dream, and fills me with excitement and nervousness about what is coming..."

Aina nodded.

"Yes, I get that feeling…" said Aina with a smile, "We owe our fans a lot; what we did today is just a stone of what we can actually achieve."

"The fans uh?" Murmured Nanaka, not quite convinced and looking at her bag, which was lying there on the floor.

Of course, the frenzy of coming in and kissing Aina made her forget her bag, hence, her phone inside.

"The fans; the fans gave you a Center, never forget that…" said Aina with a matter-of-fact tone.

Nanaka stood a few seconds to grab her bag from the floor, and after Aina made a libidinous sound, Nanaka returned to her seating position on the bed beside Aina, and looked at her with a deadpan face, Aina just smiled goofily.

Of course, Aina had checked out her butt.

"I won't forget that, without them, we wouldn't be here…" said Nanaka, taking her phone out and leaving her bag on the side.

"Oh… we are still talking about the fans…" said Aina giggling.

"Yes, them." said Nanaka, then turned on her phone and saw lots of notifications. Between congratulations and missed calls from her mom.

She hummed.

"This was just a small step… more is coming…" said Aina with a worried tone.

"First Live?" asked Nanaka.

"First Live…" concluded Aina.

Nanaka looked at her phone with a faint smile while scanning her messages.

"We will be ok…" murmured Nanaka, "We have them… and us, Aqours…"

Aina giggled.

"See? We've got lots of reasons to be nervous!" said Aina now more into a happier tone, "This is why now I'm hungry."

Aina stood up and walked towards the desk.

Nanaka didn't even flinch.

She knew that they had a lot to be worried about at that moment. The Mini Live was nothing compared to First Live. Production had done well in organizing that show before their First Live, otherwise, the nerves could have eaten all the members out.

Not to mention poor Rikako, who was still learning to play the freaking piano.

But a few minutes earlier, she had indeed felt that she could do everything.

Nanaka took a deep breath and held onto that happy and euphoric feeling. She looked at her phone and opened her Twitter.

The Fans deserved love, same as she received earlier that day, with all the fans cheering for her, and Kanan.

The Venue had been filled in green.

She picked one of her Selfies from that evening's session, with the Christmas outfit, and uploaded it with a happy and "energetic" message.

She was grateful.

She felt loved.

And because of that, she needed to do better for her Center, the 3rd Single.

After writing and sending the tweet, she sighed deeply.

Then looked at Aina, who was at the desk studying the menu.

"OK, one less thing to worry about…are you still sticking with the idea of eating?" asked Nanaka, then looked proudly at her phone, closing it, and putting it on the nightstand.

"All this Mini Live preparations and rehearsals...no, all of 2016, made me so nervous... that I feel that finally I can take a break, and eat with no regrets!" said Aina.

Nanaka giggled.

"Was it?" asked Nanaka.

"What was what?" answered Aina not turning around, her eyes glued in studying the Menu.

"2016? Was it hard…?"

"It was a whole year full of 'Firsts' for me..." retorted Aina with her normal tone, then stopped and turned around to lock her gaze to Nanaka, "…it's my first time in love, in a serious committed relationship..."

Nanaka felt her heart stopping.

She opened her eyes and mouth like a fish out of the water.

She lost her words too...

Aina was quite a character.

She was always goofing around, being a busy bee and hiding everything in her reckless way to be, but deep down she was like anybody else, she was nervous, she was scared, and wasn't as strong as she showed to the members, a Masquerade on her own, and not referring to her emotions, because she was the biggest crybaby in Aqours, but as how strong she was as a professional.

And even so, she was nervous.

Nanaka was serious and tried her best to be better every day, but Aina was a professional Seiyuu before Nanaka had started working as one, and she had more experience in the entertainment business and vocal department.

There was a huge reason why Aina was in so many projects and jobs besides Love Live!, and Nanaka wasn't.

What Nanaka had in effort, Aina had in talent.

But either way, both were equally scared and nervous about the future.

"So!" snapped Aina, returning her attention to the Menu, seeing that Nanaka was far gone in the "Suwa World" with nothing good to be said on Aina's statement.

"Ya' want some ramen?"

"Eh?"

"Or maybe some Yakiniku… there are a lot of options actually…"

"You really want to eat?!" asked Nanaka, still concerned. She looked at the minibar "You don't want a snack or something?"

"That's not good enough…" said Aina, still with her sight and body immersed on the Menu.

Nanaka tightened her lips.

"For the price of the snack, I'd rather eat something bigger…" continued Aina.

Nanaka blinked a few times and felt somewhat guilty for not being able to answer Aina's statement on her being her first committed relationship.

Aina was indeed doing her best for Nanaka; she was also included in "her firsts" of 2016, and that was a surprise, Aina being someone who was already fully experienced...

Nanaka blinked a few times, then stuck her sight on Aina's back.

Sometimes she was clueless about her own feelings and could be blinded by her own selfishness.

Behind all the shards of her broken heart, Aina was always by her side, trying to glue Nanaka's feelings back together, and if she was lucky, those feelings could match with hers.

As it turned around, that would descend down on Nanaka.

Truth was that Nanaka didn't need anything more.

"So, ya' want me to read the menu for ya'?" asked Aina, her sight still on the other side, of course, deflecting the topic.

Nanaka blinked a few times and stood up.

"No, I don't want anything…" said Nanaka walking firmly. Somehow all her tiredness went out the window.

"Oh...real—" was Aina cut off.

Nanaka hugged her from behind with such love and strength; Aina jumped in surprise but didn't say a thing, she just dropped the menu.

Nanaka could smell Aina's hair, the sweetness of her shampoo mixed with sweat. It somehow turned her sex drive on. Her love was fired up with Aina's sincerest feelings, but now...

Having Aina between her arms, barely naked, still sweating from their previous encounters.

It was her moment to reciprocate her feelings.

"Suwawa?" called Aina softly, but Nanaka answered by kissing her neck fiercely, then sucking her tasty skin. Aina became paralyzed by the act, maybe even forgetting to breathe.

It was Nanaka's chance.

She started to give Aina small and cute kisses on her neck, soft licks as she went up to her ear, kissed her lobe and traced the shell of her ear with her playful tongue.

It made Aina shiver in the embrace.

Aina couldn't help but moan softly and squeeze her thighs again.

"Su...Suwawa—-what, I thought—" Aina tried to mutter out of her poor mouth, but Nanaka bit her left lobe strongly.

Nanaka couldn't say to Aina that "she was also her first", because that would be a lie. 2016 was marked maybe for her first "heartbreaking rupture", but thankfully, Aina wasn't responsible for that, on the contrary, Aina was who had made her keep going.

Who glued her together.

And she would reciprocate that.

"Shhh" Nanaka shushed Aina in her low tone, of course, it made her shiver again "What I want is, not on the menu…"

Nanaka could feel Aina swallowing slowly and dryly.

Maybe her heart even stopped.

Nanaka's right hand slowly moved towards Aina's chin and carefully moved it, directing Aina's head softly towards her; they locked eyes, lustful ones, until their lips met.

Aina held onto Nanaka's arms as if her life depended on them. Remembering the height difference, it was difficult for Aina to stay in place, as for Nanaka, the pinch in her back kicked her while she tried to deepen the kiss.

Nanaka tried to take total control of her intentions.

Her right hand started traveling towards Aina's body to fondle her, while her left arm embraced Aina in place.

She broke the deep kiss to make them rest from the position, letting Aina know that this wasn't going to stop there...

On the contrary, she kept kissing Aina's neck, giving special attention to the sweet spots; Aina's cute moans started escaping from her mouth, she was louder of course, making Aina moan or squeak in pleasure wasn't difficult at all.

Nanaka could feel Aina's legs moving impatiently, or maybe because of the position...

Either way, she needed to take advantage of the situation.

Her hand reached the hem of Aina's hoodie, and in no time her hand started fondling her body beneath, with the tip of her long and slender fingers she reached the perfection of Aina's right breast.

It was so soft to the touch, so round and perfect, that it fitted exactly in Nanaka's hand.

Of course, she squeezed it.

Intensely.

Aina moaned from the action, as Nanaka gave her a deep kiss on the back of the neck.

That would definitely leave a mark.

"Geez! Suwawa!" Complained Aina, "What did we say about hickeys?!"

"Can't remember..." murmured Nanaka against Aina's skin, as she squeezed her breast harder.

Aina moaned in response, and instantly bent towards the desk using her hands as support.

Nanaka smirked.

It was her time to enjoy a midnight snack.

Nanaka moved her left arm, breaking the embrace to grab Aina's hip and pulling towards her body, while her right hand kept squeezing Aina's breast as if it was a stress ball. Of course, Aina kept grunting in pleasure.

It was music to Nanaka's ears.

She wanted to keep going. So her left hand traveled to Aina's thighs, softly tracing her skin with her fingertips, carefully feeling Aina's hot essence against her own skin.

"Open them up for me…"said Nanaka in her low husky tone. It was an order, and Aina was in her playful submissive role.

"Aww Suwa—wa…" grunted Aina in her fake childish tone, but it was just a "fake" complaint, because Aina opened her legs with no hesitation.

"Good girl…" murmured Nanaka into Aina's ear, when she suddenly bit Aina's lobe as two of her thin fingers started teasing Aina's lower half.

Wet was saying little.

Aina was damp.

"Oh." snapped Nanaka.

No matter how many times she touched Aina in her most private areas, Aina was always so ready for action, so ready to be taken, no matter how, or where.

It made Nanaka doubt if that was her doing, or if Aina's natural state was being ready.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Nanaka resumed her adventures in Aina's waterfalls.

Her fingers started traveling slowly from north to south, putting great attention on Aina's sounds; vocal sounds, and watery ones, that escaped from both of her lips.

She moved with determination inside Aina's slit, noticing how her fingers were getting damped in Aina's moist nectar, and slowly, she moved to touch every spot inside Aina's lower lips, the wetter they sounded, the better.

Nanaka licked her lips.

Maybe she was getting hungry after all.

She went up to tease Aina's wet clit; of course, the bump of nerves was erect and really sensitive; Aina arched her back at the first touch on the tip with one of Nanaka's fingers.

Of course, she moaned loudly.

Nanaka pressed her body with strength against Aina's body and the desk, trying to hold her still; her fingers tracing Aina's clit between them, and her right hand squeezing hard on Aina's breast. Nanaka went with two fingers to trap her erected nipple as well.

"Everybody up…" said Nanaka teasing into Aina's ear.

"OHH, you meanie!" moaned Aina, not complaining.

"Am I?" asked Nanaka huskily, as she started to speed up her pace.

Her fingers started rubbing Aina's clit faster, making the wet sound echo around the room, as Aina's moaning started to get louder as well.

Nanaka started to use all the strength in her legs to keep Aina in position, but due to the pleasure, Aina was arching her back more against Nanaka's body.

Her head rested on Nanaka's right shoulder, as Nanaka started to rub even faster and squeeze her nipple even harder.

"Oh my— Suwa—wa! AH!… please!" muttered Aina, but she couldn't finish the sentence, she started moaning out of control.

Nanaka could feel her thighs getting wet as well, she needed to squeeze them to hold the imperious desire to start rubbing herself on Aina's butt.

All the wet sounds, mixed with Aina's moans and grunts, blended with the sensations on Nanaka's fingers; the wetness, the silkiness and the hardness of Aina's womanhood, all on her hands, as the perfection of Aina's breast.

It was too much delight in such a tiny little body.

Nanaka decided that it was enough for that position, she needed friction too, and maybe Aina needed something more, so she sped up her movements in Aina's core, and rubbed her clit mercilessly…

"Oh-oh my— ohmygod! AH! OH! YES!"

Moaned Aina louder while moving her back towards Nanaka, arching her back, tiptoeing, and becoming stiff like a plank as she received her first direct orgasm from Nanaka's hand.

If Aina had been taller, she might have hit Nanaka with her head. Thankfully, the headbutt hit Nanaka's shoulder and chest, and nothing more.

Their elaborate breathing filled the room; Nanaka moved her hand from Aina's breast to hug her tiny body, in order to hold their standing position. She made a mental note to stop doing Aina on their feet, because it was now taking a toll on her back.

"You…you ok?" Asked Nanaka panting.

Aina just nodded softly.

Nanaka blinked a few times; she knew Aina quite well to know that one orgasm wasn't enough.

She needed to put in some more effort…

With that idea in mind, Nanaka moved her left hand a bit, the one that was between Aina's wet core. Her thin fingers were sticky as the wet sounds escaped from her sly movements.

"Oh…" murmured Nanaka, surprised.

Aina just grunted with pleasure.

"I was right then…" said Nanaka softly, but not really surprised, "You are still wet…"

"Wha—What do you think?" said Aina a bit outraged, "that once I came the juices just vanished?"

Nanaka giggled.

"Of course, not, this is what I wanted." said Nanaka huskily into Aina's ear, of course, that made her shiver and squeeze her thighs tightly, trapping Nanaka's hand in between.

Nanaka grunted a bit in pain, her fingers weren't in the right position.

"Oh, sorry…" murmured Aina, now more aware of the situation after her post-orgasm slumber.

"It's ok…" said Nanaka, removing her hand quickly.

Aina just couldn't turn around when Nanaka attacked once again.

With a strength she didn't know she had at that time, she pushed Aina over the desk; her cute, round, and perfect butt, up for Nanaka's delight.

"Oh, oh, Seriously?!" asked Aina in her humor tone, trying not to break anything on the desk, and trying to hold in there.

"I told you I was hungry…" purred Nanaka against Aina's lower back, at the same time she was making her way through the hoodie with kisses and licks.

"I… I see, this is…not on the…menu…" said Aina with trouble; Nanaka's kisses and wet tongue was sending Aina the right message.

Her knees started to shiver, Nanaka couldn't help but smirk at her reaction.

She needed to be quick and submit her; Aina wasn't going to run or say "no", actually, she wasn't even going to fight.

Aina loved to have sex, anytime, anywhere. With or without kinks, but either way, she didn't want to break the sex spell, or the mood they had.

It was Aina's time to say "no more".

Nanaka reached Aina's scapula and determined that the hoodie was just in the way, so, with quick hands she removed it, and it effortlessly vanished somewhere.

"Told ya' it was useless…" said Aina, but was quickly pushed back towards the desk.

"Silence!" commanded Nanaka with a fake mad tone, Aina just giggled, but the giggles stopped abruptly by Aina's own moan when Nanaka started to finger her again.

This time, from behind.

"Oh...OH! Su—Suwawa...already—" Aina was trying to say, but she bit her lips, holding a moan from escaping.

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows in suspicion, because Aina was still very wet, and very ready to keep going.

It was supposed that Aina liked it that way, right?

Nanaka placed herself behind and started fingering Aina's core, paying intense attention to her cute, round, and perfect peach butt; at first, she inserted just two fingers, which entered smoothly; easy as silk.

She started thrusting vigorously against Aina's hips.

Thankfully, the desk worked as a big piece of furniture from wall to wall, so no matter how hard Nanaka thrusted against Aina, the desk wouldn't move from its place. And the more she thrusted, the higher Aina's butt became.

Aina's moans started to escape from her lips, grunts and whimpers as well.

Nanaka needed to tighten her teeth and squeeze her thighs.

"Oh! More—more!" snapped Aina in ecstasy.

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows and tried a third finger inside Aina.

"OH MY—!" shouted Aina, her butt moving up to the point that she started tiptoeing.

Nanaka moved her wrist trying a better position, but it was difficult; her thin and long fingers couldn't reach the G spot from there.

"Deeper!" asked Aina, moving her hips.

Nanaka bit her lips.

She would love to give her more, but her hand felt trapped, and she was starting to feel pain in her wrist.

With her free hand, she grabbed Aina's hips firmly and tried to thrust deeper.

Aina's moans started to become louder, but Nanaka started to feel more pain in her wrist, also, her thrusting was so intense, that she was starting to hit the desk with the rest of her fingers.

Aina's legs were shaking.

At any point, all that frantic movement could end in a terrible accident.

Totally disconnected from the act, Nanaka just slowed her pace as Aina's moans just increased, maybe Aina was going somewhere. But Nanaka definitely wasn't.

So, regretting the idea, she just withdrew her hand from Aina's wet core.

Aina was caught in the middle of a moan.

"I'm sorry…" said Nanaka quickly, knowing that she might have ruined the moment.

"Oh.. what …what happened…" muttered Aina with her breath quite elaborated, but not moving from the desk, on the contrary, her body almost falling over it, her feet touching the floor once again.

"My…my wrist…" murmured Nanaka, grabbing her wrist with pain.

Maybe that was the pain Aina usually felt while doing Nanaka?

For Aina it was difficult, and always a challenge to make Nanaka feel good; whether it was because of her tiny fingers, or her beautiful tiny lips. Maybe Aina had lots of stamina, or even a big appetite, but Aina's physical capacities were limited.

And even though Aina was always ready for everything...

She needed to step up her game.

Suwa Nanaka was stubborn to the bone.

"Oh, are you ok—" Aina tried to say while turning around, but was heavily interrupted by Nanaka's determination.

She grabbed Aina's butt.

Firmly, almost as if Aina was going somewhere.

Her nails buried on those peachy cheeks.

And with no hesitation, Nanaka separated them to see Aina's soul.

Her dark soul.

"Hey hey hey!" Aina started to complain, moving her hips, trying to take Nanaka out from her butt. Her torso made a vague attempt to turn, but of course, she couldn't.

Nanaka bent and gave her a long lick, it wasn't difficult to find Aina's nectar in her wet treasure.

Of course, at the mere contact from Nanaka's tongue with her sweet core, Aina moaned louder.

Maybe the position made her feel even hornier?

It wasn't clear, but what was clear were Aina's loud moans, and that she became wetter by the second.

Nanaka tried to take everything she could, she wasn't a great eater like Aina, but surely her tongue knew some moves.

Touring around Aina's slit, from north to south, or even teasing the erect clit on the other side, her tongue entered into the deepest of Aina's forbidden sea.

Aina was like a fish out of the water.

Her legs started to shake, her hips moved abruptly, her moans were louder and desperate.

Nanaka had to grab Aina's cheeks firmly. She made a mental note to apologize to Aina if her nails wounded her, but she needed to keep Aina as steady as possible.

It was madness.

Aina was out of control, she was tiptoeing once again for Nanaka to reach deeper with her tongue.

Nanaka could feel Aina's juices becoming out of control as well, maybe even on the carpet already.

She needed to reach deeper.

So under Aina's constant moans, pants, and dirty talk that frankly, Nanaka just couldn't hear under the wetter sounds, she just sat on the bed.

Recalling that Aina might have done the same thing minutes earlier, it was better that way, she felt that she could actually go deeper. She spread Aina's cheeks even more and continued franticly sucking, licking, and thrusting with her tongue.

Until she just couldn't feel her jaw anymore.

She had been moving her tongue and jaw frantically for who knows how many minutes, but this was taking another toll on her.

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows; when had Sex become an endurance test? Was she getting old for that?

But she just couldn't take it, and after a few more attempts of making Aina come, she just withdrew her head from Aina's butt.

The contrast was big.

She could feel the sticky sensation on almost all of her face.

Aina stopped moaning too, and this time turned around before Nanaka could submit her into another position.

Nanaka was seated, panting very elaborately, trying to wipe juices off her lips with the back of her right hand.

"Suwawa, what...what happened?" asked Aina a little out of breath.

Nanaka's eyes were fixed somewhere on the desk, eyes narrowed and frowning. Of course, Nanaka was in deep thought, maybe kicking herself for being useless and not a great lover to Aina at that moment.

"I'm not done..." murmured Nanaka, her sight still lost somewhere.

Aina opened her eyes wide in surprise, but then stood up straight.

"Suwawa, what are you doing?" asked Aina with a soft tone; Nanaka looked at her almost as if Aina had become blonde out of nowhere.

"Wha—-what are you asking? Of course, you know what am I doing..." said Nanaka now drying her lips with her left hand.

"Yes, sure, but... aren't you forcing it a little?" asked Aina softly.

"What?"

"I already came... I don't need you to do me again...right now..." finished Aina with a small voice, of course, the night was young and Aina would like to have another round later...

"But you were...in 'the zone', I just couldn't finish..." said Nanaka, now maybe pouting in frustration.

"Eh? I know... me neither..." said Aina with a goofy tone.

"That's not what I meant..." said Nanaka frustrated, and rested her hands on the bed, her left hand landed on something hard and cold.

Nanaka looked to her left and saw the Buddy under it.

She blinked.

"Oh... that's handy..." said Aina, curving the tip of her lips.

Nanaka grabbed the Buddy and looked at it with skepticism. It looked bigger than she thought.

Of course, when Aina used that on her, she was horny, in the middle of sex, almost begging for it- ok not just almost, but really begging for it- wanting something bigger and deaper than Aina's little fingers, but she had never actually had the chance to see it that close, not even had grabbed it.

It was always Aina manipulating it.

Nanaka gave Aina a shy look; Aina smiled wide.

"Do... you want to try?" asked Nanaka shyly, Aina's eyes shined in delight.

"Sure!"

"O— ok..." said Nanaka looking at Aina, then at the Buddy.

Can this thing really fit inside Aina?...

...wait, this thing used to fit inside me...

..how?

But it felt so good.

Still...how?...

"So, where do you want me?" asked Aina in her happy tone, spreading her arms.

"Eh?" muttered Nanaka confused.

"On the desk?...the couch?...oh, should we try the bed?" asked Aina in total control of the situation, not to mention eager too...

Nanaka took a quick look towards the desk, and determined that it might be uncomfortable to do it there, mostly if Aina needed to face her, she was just too short.

Also, she had settled that it was too uncomfortable to do Aina from the back on the desk.

Then she looked to her sides; the bed wasn't that big, but for sure it was a good option.

"The bed is good..." said Nanaka, not quite knowing what was happening.

Aina had never asked where should they use the Buddy, she just used it.

Was this something special?

Aina in her happy and shiny world just went with the flow as always, and as soon Nanaka told her that the bed was good, she started crawling towards the head, fixed some pillows, and laid her back on them.

"Ok, I'm ready," said Aina vigorously.

Nanaka half-turned to see how easy everything was for Aina, from the point of being totally naked and wandering around like that without a care, to the fact that she was eager and willing to be penetrated with that... thing.

Nanaka looked at the Buddy again.

Maybe she likes it...?

Wait, I like this...

Then, why is it so weird?

"Suwawa, you ok?" asked Aina on the other side of the bed.

Nanaka looked at her quickly, and saw that Aina was starting to doubt, so she needed to put herself into it.

The Buddy was a resource in order to satisfy a sexual desire.

It wasn't because Nanaka wasn't enough... right?

But this was the first time that she had ran out of artillery in the sex department.

She couldn't help but doubt herself and feel sad about it, this was something that had never happened before.

She had never needed to use one of those with Shuka.

Nanaka opened her eyes wide, maybe didn't even breathe.

She just couldn't be thinking about Shuka when Aina was sitting and waiting right there, legs pretty much spread wide open and ready to be penetrated by her… and the Buddy.

"Don't worry…" murmured Nanaka and stood up at her pace, held the Buddy tightly, and walked towards the head of the bed.

Aina gave her a goofy smile.

Nanaka crawled back and kneeled in front of Aina.

They locked their gazes; while Nanaka's was serious, Aina's was pleased.

Nanaka swallowed dryly.

Truth was that she didn't know what the hell she was doing.

She held the Buddy in her right hand tightly, as her left hand shyly and softly went over Aina's left knee.

She caressed it softly, and at the mere touch, Aina just opened them wide.

Nanaka's orbs almost jumped out of their basins.

She stopped breathing.

Aina smiled shyly at her, but Nanaka just stayed there kneeling, looking down at Aina with a serious, and maybe shocked gaze.

Like if Aina's treasure was something that needed to be studied as rocket science.

"Suwawa…" called Aina, as if calling her back to Earth.

Nanaka looked at her still with her shocked face. "You ok?"

Nanaka just blinked.

Was she ok?

Maybe not.

She felt misplaced, she didn't know what to do in that situation.

Put yourself together, you can do this! This is not that different from what you have done already…

Nanaka moved the Buddy softly towards Aina's lower lips, but stopped abruptly when Aina closed her legs quickly.

"Wa—wait a minute!" said Aina loudly, legs closed, and her hand covering her core.

"Wha—what?" asked Nanaka with some panic in her tone and face, then both locked their gazes.

"Are you putting it just like that?!" asked Aina, outraged.

Nanaka looked at the purple dildo in her hand.

She narrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

Did she need something more?

Maybe some lube?

But Aina had never used lube on her.

Was something else missing?

Then she looked at Aina, who was looking back seriously, and had an almost weird face.

Nanaka turned her head slightly to the side, trying to think what could possibly be missing.

Then looked at the Buddy again, but nothing came to her mind.

She looked at Aina once again like searching for answers.

Aina raised her eyebrows in surprise. Maybe understanding what was going on.

She smiled softly and kindly to her.

"Suwawa, we need a rubber…" said Aina softly.

"Eh?" asked Nanaka softly and surprised, her sight on Aina once again.

"Yes."

"A rubber?" repeated Nanaka.

"Of course Suwawa! Safety first!" aaid Aina, recovering her humor.

"Safety?" Repeated Nanaka not understanding.

"Yes! Nana, This is your Buddy… I can't use it on me, even if I washed it before, we need to put a rubber on it." explained Aina with kindness, but with the tip of her lips curved, understanding that if this wasn't a delicate matter, Aina might have exploded into her old man laugher.

Maybe it was clear to her that Nanaka was a virgin in what sex toys referred to.

"Eh?!" muttered Nanaka.

My Buddy?…

…This means that every one of her Ladies has one?…

...eH?!

Nanaka blinked, astonished.

Then looked at the Buddy.

"Suwawa, we need a condom." said Aina more seriously, trying to prevent Nanaka's mind from drifting somewhere else.

Nanaka looked at her with her eyes wide in shock.

"A ...co—condom?" she repeated.

"Yes, a condom, that's what I meant by rubber…" said Aina in her mature tone.

"Wha—what?! WHY?—I mean how?!… can I make you—? but— HOW?!" snapped Nanaka, now lifting her torso and looking at the Buddy, maybe examining it from every angle.

How could that dildo make Aina pregnant?

Maybe it had a special mechanism to do that?

But that wasn't possible because Aina had used that on her…

It wasn't possible.

Aina smiled wide, she was definitely amused by "sex toys virgin Nana", then sat properly on the bed.

"Suwawa," she called; Nanaka took her astonished eyes out from the purple Buddy to lock them on Aina in front of her.

"Ye—yes…"

"We need a condom." she repeated with the most mature and serious tone ever.

Nanaka stood there like a fish out of the water, her cheeks quite red under Aina's gentle but goofy smile.

Maybe Aina was enjoying that.

Maybe too much.

Nanaka blinked a few times. Then nodded.

Understanding the instruction, they needed a condom, roger that. But where could they find one?

Nanaka looked to her sides; her clothes were nicely folded on the couch, of course, she was wearing the nightwear from the Hotel, so she needed to get dressed and go and buy some freaking condoms.

"O—ok…" she murmured.

She dropped the Buddy on the bed and crawled out of it.

Aina didn't say a thing, she was just following Nanaka with her eyes, and an amused smile.

Once Nanaka had reached the floor, took her upper part of the nightwear off and drop it on the bed, as she walked towards her clothes over the couch.

"Eh?!" snapped Aina, "Whatcha doing?!"

Nanaka grabbed her blouse and looked at Aina with her "Suwa face".

"Getting dressed….what does it look like?"

"Yes, but why?! I asked you for some Rubbers! Not to put on your clothes!" said Aina, now kneeling on the bed.

"Yes, I understood that…" said Nanaka, grabbing her bra.

"Then why are you getting dressed… are you actually gonna go out to buy some?!" Asked Aina holding her laugh.

Nanaka stopped everything and turned around to look at her.

She moved her arms like saying "Doh".

Aina finally exploded into her old man laugher.

Nanaka blinked a few times, astonished and very…very embarrassed.

This was just too new for her.

"Oh my GOD! Suwawa, you are just too hilarious!" Aina kept going.

"You want your condoms or what?!" asked Nanaka, annoyed.

"Yes, yes, of course! But you don't need to go out and buy it!" said Aina still laughing.

Nanaka raised an eyebrow.

"Then what?" asked Nanaka with annoyance.

"Geez! There are some on the desk! They're part of the vanity accessories…" said Aina pointing at the desk.

Nanaka turned around towards the desk; yes, there were a few amenities beside the sink.

She hummed, and at her slow pace, walked towards them.

Aina started laughing again.

"Don't laugh…" murmured Nanaka looking at the little boxes on display.

"I can't help it… Oh my God, you would actually go out and buy?!" said Aina, almost losing her breath from all her laughing.

Nanaka took one of the little boxes, opened it, and there were 2 silver plastic bags.

"Well, if that's what you wanted and needed, why not…" murmured Nanaka shyly.

"But not at this time of the night…. Hahaha, Nana, you are just too much…" said Aina, still laughing.

"Are these safe?" asked Nanaka, looking that the silver packages weren't branded or anything.

"Does it matter? We need to protect the Buddy… and my GG, you can't make me pregnant or anything…" said Aina, still holding back her giggles.

Nanaka took one of the bags and raised one eyebrow.

Then why are we doing this?…

Aren't condoms for that purpose…?

She turned around and walked back towards Aina.

She showed the condom to Aina.

"Is this good enough for you?" asked Nanaka, annoyed.

"Hahaha, don't be mad…" said Aina wiping a tear from her eye.

Nanaka just hummed, feeling the mood maybe already broken.

"C'mere, we have some undone business here…" said Aina, patting the bed and grabbing the Buddy.

Nana rolled her eyes and crawled back to bed, returning to her previous position, which was in front of Aina.

Aina just stayed in her seating position, with no intention of laying on her back and spreading her legs, on the contrary, she was there with her goofy smile, and with the Buddy in her hands.

"Ok, now what?" asked Nanaka in her "Suwa tone", and "Suwa face".

"Now…you need to put it on…" said Aina, and tossed her the Buddy.

Nanaka opened her eyes wide as she grabbed it with one hand, while the condom was in the other.

She felt quite aroused, shy and nervous at the same time.

Her eyes moved from one hand to another.

"Do...you…know…how…to do it?" asked Aina softly but gently, maybe realizing that Nanaka actually didn't know a thing about sex.

Nanaka looked at her with sadness.

Truth was that she had no idea.

Aina smiled softly at her.

"Don't worry…" she said in her mature tone, and taking the silver package from Nanaka's hand.

Nanaka made a sad face.

"I'm sorry…" said Nanaka ashamed.

"Don't be… I wasn't expecting you to know how to do it…" said Aina, still in her mature tone, and with a serious expression.

"Eh.. really?" asked Nanaka, not sure if she was offended or relieved.

Aina was younger than her, how was it possible that she had more experience with all that stuff than her?!

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows, and agreed with herself that it was very possible.

Aina had way more experience in sex. She had the Ladies… and Gods knew who else, or how many those "Ladies" were.

She had her Amazing Happy Man, and… Shuka.

And she was Shuka's Sensei in that matter. And if she wanted to recall her time in her first relationship, it all felt like something that had happened too long ago for her to recall.

BUT

She just couldn't recall buying condoms, nor even opening them, or putting one on something.

So… yes.

This was a whole new world.

"Yes Nana, I don't see you with the nerve to be with a man, and I don't see you using toys with Shukashuu…" said Aina softly, opening the package; her hands worked as if she was used to opening condom packages as sport.

Nanaka deadpanned.

"Really?..." asked Nanaka, annoyed.

"Really, I mean, I bet you were Shuka's first..." Aina was saying while concentrating on taking the rubber out of the package, "She is just a baby, I can't see her using toys or anything, and you are just too pure..."

Aina continued, now placing the condom on the Buddy in 2 seconds with her skillful fingers.

"There, all set..." said Aina, and showed the rubbered up Buddy to Nanaka.

Nanaka grabbed it with astonishment. Aina just smiled wide at her.

She was such a pro in the matter.

"Am I?" asked Nanaka with a sad tone, still looking at the Buddy.

"What? Too pure...?"

"Yes..." answered Nanaka with the same sadness, but now looking at Aina.

"Yes Nana, you are... you learned about kinks with me... you learned the existence of little Buddy... with me..." said Aina trying to hold her mature tone, after all, Nanaka was being honest about her lack of experience.

Nanaka didn't say a thing, she was just there, standing on her knees, with the Buddy in her hands, maybe too disappointed with herself to continue.

And Aina noticed that.

"Hey, hey, don't get gloomy..." said Aina in her serious tone, "this isn't something bad or to be ashamed of... I love the fact of you being this pure, and innocent..."

Nanaka looked at her with almost pain.

"Really... I love you, as you are, pure or not... I don't care about your past, or your previous experiences; what's important is what you do now... with me." finished Aina with a soft smile.

Nanaka felt her heart melting, and maybe the imperative desire to start crying.

Because, for Nanaka, she did care about Aina's previous experiences, she was always comparing herself with Aina's ladies.

She was feeling sad, hopeless, and helpless about being enough for Aina in the sex department. To date, she was able to deliver orgasm after orgasm, and maybe even felt that that task was even easy with Aina.

Yes, she was always ready for action, and Aina lived her sexuality very openly.

But that wasn't enough.

Someone with that sex drive could also have a breaking point, and Nanaka just wasn't able to finish her job with her regular techniques and experiences.

All bodies were different.

All relationships were different.

And all of them brought different lessons.

When you are taught through feelings...

Maybe for Aina, that lesson had arrived sooner, maybe she had had one relationship were her physical condition had been an issue (like the one she was having with Nanaka, and looking at how tiny Aina was, that might have been her first issue while having sex) and needed to rely on toys. And someone at that moment was the one who taught her all of that, and maybe she had that same frustrating feeling of not being enough...

"I..." muttered Nanaka softly, "Are you... do you feel happy with me?" asked Nanaka shyly.

Aina raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Of course! Geez! Suwawa, this has nothing to do with how you make me feel..." said Aina softly, still using her mature tone.

"I mean, are you satisfied...?" tried Nanaka, fighting with her own deception.

Why would Aina, with her experience, want to spend her time with "virgin Nana"?

Why was she more special than her other experiences? What could Nanaka give Aina to differentiate from the others?

Was it because it was easier to screw her over?

"Eh?…"

Aina made a sad face and grabbed Nanaka's free hand, it was obvious that Nanaka was affected.

"I am... it's obvious that you are tired today, I've told you that we don't need to do this now..."

"I know... but still...I want to be good enough…" insisted Nanaka.

"And you are... take this as something new you are discovering... using toys, my Nana, isn't a weakness, your fingers are magical, your tongue is amazing, this is just another way to have fun..."

Nanaka smiled shyly. Maybe Aina was right, and all of that was in her mind.

She was enough, and that was just a new experience.

"Let's have fun!" said Aina now into her more happy tone, and grabbing Nanaka's right hand, the one with the Buddy.

"Oh...ok..." murmured Nanaka.

"Yes!" said Aina softly, but then saw Nanaka's doubtful face.

"What is it?" asked Aina.

"Sorry, I don't quite get why the rubber..." said Nanaka with a shy tone, like afraid of asking the silliest question of all of sex.

Aina looked at her and made an "o" mouth, then she blinked a few times.

Maybe in Aina's mind, she was wondering how on Earth Nanaka was having sex in her life.

"You…ya' didn't have a very good sex education class at school..." said Aina; Nanaka just deadpanned.

"Aina, you know that that doesn't exist here..."

Aina laughed.

"Still, ya' don't watch porn or something...?" said Aina holding her laugher; Nanaka's deep deadpan face intensified.

"You know I don't."

Aina giggled.

"And even if I would, I don't think the actresses would put a condom on the dildo—…I mean, I guess— …they don't even put one— on the real…one…" finished Nanaka more embarrassed than ever.

Aina raised her eyebrows with amusement, while giving her a goofy smile.

Maybe that was just too much information coming from someone who "didn't watch porn".

Aina giggled and waved the issue to the side.

"It's ok...well, it's to protect us from sexual diseases, that's the other utility condoms have, not just preventing pregnancies..." said Aina with a goofy smile, "So, don't worry, ya aren't gonna impregnate me..."

Nanaka closed her eyes in embarrassment, while Aina kept giggling.

"Jesus, Nana you are just too adorable…" said Aina, like settling the topic.

Nanaka opened her eyes wide and saw Aina getting comfy on the pillows.

"Ok, are we ready?" asked Aina, "I'm ready…. is Buddy ready… are you?"

Nanaka blinked a few times, took a deep breath, and put on her best concentration face.

Aina giggled again.

"Nana, ya' need to relax… this isn't rocket science…" said Aina with her goofy tone, and spreading her legs.

Nanaka looked at her, embarrassed, her cheeks becoming wild red, same as her ears.

She wasn't ready to see Aina's treasure from first row, so… raw like that.

Nanaka swallowed dryly again.

She held the Buddy tightly, and bent towards Aina.

Aina moved her left hand and touched Nanaka's cheek, somehow stopping her movements, caressed it softly, locking their gazes into some sweet ones.

"It's ok Nana, ya' need to make me wet again…" said Aina with a sweet voice.

Nanaka nodded.

Maybe it wasn't rocket science, but it had its own complications.

But making Aina wet, wasn't one of them.

Nanaka tried to hold her shit together and concentrate on her task. First was making Aina wet again, so she went straight to kiss Aina's plump lips.

Aina was eager to resume the sexual encounter, so her hungry lips started devouring Nanaka's; she started to bite them, lick them, and make them deeper and wetter.

Nanaka was using her empty hand as support in that bending position, the other hand had the Buddy. While Aina, in order to deepen the kiss, grabbed Nanaka's cheeks eagerly, with both hands.

The wet sounds started filling the room once again.

If Nanaka was sure about anything, it was that Aina was such a great kisser.

Their lips met and melted in a wet dance of tongues and lust.

It wasn't that long for Nanaka to notice Aina's legs becoming impatient. And that was her call.

She broke the kiss and moved back.

Their breath became quite elaborate.

There was love and lust in their sights.

Aina licked her lips; Nanaka smiled shyly at her.

Now more stabilized, Nanaka used her free hand to check Aina's wetness, without breaking eye contact.

Maybe looking at Aina's treasure so suddenly and raw was a surprise for Nanaka, but her hands knew by heart how Aina's core looked like, especially, when she was wet.

It wasn't difficult to find her erect clit, her wet lips, and her entrance…

Nanaka placed one finger inside; it entered softly and smoothly, Aina grunted in pleasure without breaking eye contact.

Then tried a second finger, it entered quite easily too...

Nanaka smiled softly, it seemed that Aina was ready.

"You ok?" asked Nanaka.

"Yes…" murmured Aina.

"Ok…" said Nanaka.

Finally, she looked away from Aina to the Buddy.

She moved it to eye level to study the new tool, her eyes met a small circular switch.

With her thumb, she dared to press it.

In seconds, the Buddy started buzzing and moving, it surprised Nanaka, to the point of almost dropping it.

"Oh.. oh.." Said Nanaka softly, not that enthusiastically, then looked at Aina, she was holding her laugh.

"This amuses you right?" asked Nanaka with a deadpan face.

"Greatly…" said Aina with her goofy smile.

"Ok, focus…" said Nanaka and looked at the Buddy, its buzzing sound was actually unsettling.

Has it always buzzed like this?

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows studying the Buddy; she didn't recall that the toy had buzzed so loudly. Maybe because it used to be inside her, and when Aina had used it, Nanaka had been in that state of ecstasy where she couldn't feel anything but pleasure.

She turned it around a few times, studying it carefully.

"Suwawa…" called Aina from her sitting position, legs spread. "That thing…needs to be inside…"

"Oh... sure…" said Nanaka softly, but with her left hand touching it, it tickled her fingertips, "oh…"

Of course, Nanaka continued observing it with quite fascination. Even with the condom on, the texture of the toy could be felt. She kept saying "oh" every time she found out something "new" about it.

Aina blinked a few times.

Maybe for her it was like watching a kid with a new toy. (Which it was)

the vibrating sound and movement, or the toy itself seemed to amuse nanaka more than putting it in aina.

Maybe Aina should have introduced little Buddy and Nanaka out of the sex context, and not while they were there, in the middle of something, and with her legs spread.

"Suwawa!" called Aina again, now more annoyed, Nanaka snapped and looked at her, "It's a toy… it vibrates, and it should be giving me pleasure… what the hell?!"

"Oh…so—sorry… " apologized Nanaka, but giggled at the end.

"Get down to business!" commanded Aina as she spread her lower lips to Nanaka.

Nanaka nodded but felt curiosity on how this would work on Aina's sensitive areas.

So, she moved the Buddy softly towards Aina's wet and erect clit.

She jumped.

"Oh!" said Nanaka amused, now it was her turn to tease Aina; she pressed the Buddy against Aina's clit, now with more strength.

"HOSHIT!—! Suwawa!" Shouted Aina and arched her back.

"What?" asked Nanaka amused, "This is fun…"

"No…— not so—…directly! AH!" Aina was saying loudly, as her body started to squirm under Nanaka's teasing Buddy.

"Ah…" said Nanaka with her nonchalant tone, as she kept pressing the bump of nerves with the Buddy, Aina trying helplessly to move her lower half away from Nanaka's hand, and the toy, but Aina was just forgetting that Nanaka was very accurate when it was time to press buttons.

Like while playing SIFAS.

So no matter how hard Aina tried to move away, Nanaka reached the spot.

"Is this giving you pleasure…?" asked Nanaka, maybe in a too ironic tone.

"C'mon! Su—wa—AHH!" shouted Aina while moving like a fish out of the water.

Nanaka smiled wide.

"This is NOT! AH!" moaned Aina, and after that, Nanaka removed the Buddy from her clit.

Aina dropped on the bed breathing heavily.

"You good?" asked Nanaka with a devilish smile.

Aina opened her eyes wide, somewhat annoyed, as she was panting hard, of course, she was already sweating again.

"That….wasn't… funny…" said Aina breathlesly.

Nanaka giggled.

"Ok, so…" said Nanaka taking control of the situation, seeing Aina in that helpless condition was enough to awaken a more devilish side of Nanaka.

"How was this thing again…?"

Nanaka took one of Aina's legs and spreaded it out; Aina's wet and ready core facing devilish Nanaka; she licked her lips.

Aina couldn't say a thing, because in seconds Nanaka bent down and licked her slit, until reaching and sucked her hard clit.

"AH! MY!" moaned Aina once again arching her back, and her legs becoming on the loose.

Nanaka smiled proudly at her mess, and still holding Aina's legs, she just inserted the Buddy where she thought it should.

And left it there.

"Ok…it's in…" said Nanaka looking at the now inserted Buddy.

Buzzing.

Then looked at Aina with a coy smile.

Aina let out a small moan when the Buddy went in, but then became silent when Nanaka just left it there.

Alone.

Aina blinked and gave Nanaka a confused look.

"What?" asked Nanaka too lightly.

"Don't you 'what' me!" said Aina, a bit disappointed, and with her left hand started rubbing her own clit, as with her right, grabbed the handgrip of the Buddy. "Ya' need to move it!" and Aina started moving it for herself.

Nanaka blinked a few times with no expression at all, looking how Aina had to be satisfied by her own hand.

Maybe Nanaka fell asleep.

Or maybe relying on a toy like that, and not a real dildo with a harness was somehow, boring.

Aina didn't need Nanaka to do that, she was doing just fine on her own.

Nanaka blinked a few times again, looking at Aina satisfying herself, she somehow found her speed, and her fingers were working on her clit diligently.

Then…?

Why Am I here?…

"Suwawa!" called Aina, maybe waking her up, "Take the handle, take control!"

Nanaka took a deep breath and tried to do what she was supposed to do.

It wasn't clear if she was annoyed, tired, or bored.

Maybe all of that.

She straddled Aina and took her hands away from the handgrip to start thrusting her.

Of course, Nanaka being taller than Aina, made things easier.

But she couldn't say that was equally… fascinating as when Nanaka used her fingers, or her tongue on Aina's body.

Aina smiled at her, maybe because finally, that was what she wanted.

In seconds, Aina's legs trapped Nanaka's body by her hip, and used her free hand to hug Nanaka, making them closer.

After all, this was an act of love.

Aina started moving her hips faster, maybe trying to adapt to Nanaka's thrusting, as Aina's fingers continued rubbing her own clit. Nanaka's free hand was just to support herself in that "missionary position".

Aina started grunting and panting, the wet sounds starting to mix with Aina's moans.

Nanaka bit her lips.

Maybe it was all the toy's great work, but her hand was there thrusting in, her body was on top of Aina's, and she could clearly feel how aroused Aina's nipples were, and how her own body was reacting to that sensation.

Aina was enjoying it, and that was good.

She needed to satisfy Aina, and because of her tiredness she just couldn't do it with her own hands and tongue, that toy was a tool.

And she was now determined to use it.

Maybe if Aina was satisfied enough, Nanaka could sleep without interruptions.

Deciding to make Aina come and scream in pleasure, Nanaka gave herself a last shot of energy.

She started moving her hips at the same time with Aina, not knowing why exactly because she wasn't receiving any friction on her own lower half, but still, her movements made the act more believable, and more into the situation.

Aina's body was stuck with Nanaka's bare torso; Aina kept moving and moaning loudly.

It filled Nanaka's heart to know that at least Aina was enjoying; with that in mind, Nanaka went to Aina's neck and started kissing and licking it.

Aina's head went backward in order to give Nanaka more access to it, and maybe that was a wrong call from Aina, because Nanaka made sure to leave a hickey there.

Aina moaned louder.

"Geez! Nana! No—" tried Aina, but was shushed by Nanaka's hungry lips.

Nanaka tried desperately to kiss Aina's lips all over, to bite them, to taste them. Trying to suppress all of Aina's moans.

But she couldn't, Aina needed to breathe too.

"Oh my GOD!" she moaned.

Nanaka bit her lips.

Somehow Aina's mouth needed to be free while she was being done, almost as if the kissing session was just for the beginning of the act.

Now that Aina was way into it, she needed to be moaning and swearing.

Nanaka needed to be part of this act somehow. All the pleasure was resting in the buzzing Buddy, and her torso making slippery madness with Aina's, not sure if that was something good.

She moved her free hand that was giving her stability, and placed it on Aina's breast. She started squeezing it with strength -mostly because her balance depended on that- and went once again to Aina's neck to keep kissing it, licking, and trying to explore all of Aina's skin.

Their movements became hectic, the headboard started to hit the wall, Aina's moans started to increase, as wet sounds escaped from Aina's lower lips.

Nanaka was trying her best; holding her hand steady for the Buddy to thrust Aina into the deepest of her core, Aina swearing and begging for more that became almost white noise, once again Nanaka was feeling bulging her ears.

Nanaka moved as fast as she could, also trying to match Aina's movements.

Trying to involve Aina with her body, her love, and why not, her sweat too.

She also started to grunt, not sure why, but maybe all of Aina's moans, pants, and grunts had made her horny too.

Nanaka approached Aina's little ear, and with her lower, sexy and deathly tone said; "Come for me, Ainya-chan…"

And Aina must have lost her mind.

She came so hard and so loudly, that her claw-like nails were intensely inserted in Nanaka's back; her back arched almost lifting both of their bodies, her head went backward, and Aina's leg became attached to Nanaka's body, all this while having an intense orgasm.

A success if you had asked Nanaka by the level of pain she was receiving from Aina, as the former was in total pleasure.

The room became silent except for the buzzing sound from the Buddy, and Aina's elaborate breathing.

Nanaka was biting her lips, trying to control her own impulses and desires.

Deliberating if she could do or receive another round.

Maybe that had been enough...

Yes, it's enough... no more...

It's been a long day…

Nanaka closed her eyes accepting defeat.

Two shows in a row, uncountable rehearsals, and at least five rounds of sex, no matter whose way. That was enough.

Maybe she could die happy now, knowing that Aqours had performed the Mini Live, succeeded at an entire anime season, sold a bunch of CDs and DVDs, transformed a local town into a tourist spot, and placed a Christmas tree in a famous shopping center in Odaiba.

Muse could be proud and happy about them. The job was done.

Now, it was time to sleep.

"Suwawa..." she could hear Aina calling, and some pats on her sore back. She grunted, but her body was just there, too swamped in its own tiredness.

"Wakie Wakie Suwawa, you are on top of me..." she kept hearing, but it felt like the entire world was on top of Nanaka's back.

"C'mon, ya' need to move!"

Aina used some of her own strength to move Nanaka's almost dead body to the side; Nanaka was as languid as a noodle, so it wasn't difficult for Aina to move her. Nanaka didn't even grunt when she fell to her left on the bed as a rag doll.

"Geez, this is a mess..." Nanaka could still hear from Aina's lips. Then she heard a click and the buzzing sound stopped.

"You ok?" asked Aina.

"Mm..." was Nanaka's response, but she had her eyes closed, and almost knocking on Morpheus' door.

Finally there was silence in the room.

Nanaka was only aware that she was on a bed, safe in a hotel room, Aina was somewhere in the room, and her duty was done.

And that was the key to rest in peace...

But of course, the fact that "Aina was somewhere in the room", was the unsettling part.

"Suwawa, you need to dry yourself..." said Aina more in her mature tone, maybe remembering her role as the older sister with someone like Nanaka- Who was an only child, not to mention a spoiled one- "We are all sweaty, we might catch a cold..."

Nanaka slowly opened her eyes; her orbs silently following Aina, who left the bed and walked as a penguin towards the entrance hall; next thing she heard was a door closing, which told Nanaka that Aina was in the toilet.

Nanaka closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

In that second she realized that she was sweating like a pig, that the sheets felt cold and wet, and that Aina was right.

It would be fatal to fall asleep in those conditions.

Unfortunately, her time in Aqours was just beginning, and she just didn't have the luxury to be dead now; there was a Center waiting for her.

Nanaka frowned, and with her poor leftover strength, managed to lay on her back.

She opened her eyes slowly. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling.

She couldn't say if the ceiling had grains like the one at her place, but it was soothing to look at anyways.

But, after two seconds, as she laid there a starfish on the bed, she could feel how the sheets started to feel cold too.

With a very prominent frown, she just determined that she had to stand up, and maybe take a shower.

That thought made her grunt with annoyment, because, even if she LOVED taking baths and feeling relaxed, she was craving to be there on the bed, and sleep.

She sat on the bed with little enthusiasm, at the same time that Aina left the toilet and was walking back towards the desk where the sink was located.

Their eyes met.

Aina gave her a sweet smile but didn't say a thing, her duty was in washing her hands and cleaning the Buddy who was there too.

Nanaka blinked a few times and maybe was just too tired and sleepy to even care that Aina was walking around naked, again.

At that point, it was even pointless arguing or saying anything about it.

With her sleepy eyes, she saw Aina wash her hands, then remove the condom to also wash the Buddy. It really amazed her how diligent Aina was at manipulating the toy; unwrapping the rubber, making a knot, and then tossed it in the trash.

It made Nanaka wonder if Aina swung every way.

"You ok?" asked Aina as she closed the faucet.

Nanaka snapped in her place.

"Yes...yes...how are you? Are you ok?" asked Nanaka, trying to find her manners.

"Yes...I'm all sweaty though..." said Aina drying her hands.

"Should we...take a bath...?" asked Nanaka standing up.

"Do you have the energy?" asked Aina, somehow with irony in her tone and turning around.

Nanaka touched her belly, then her torso, to end up on her neck.

She felt sticky, sweaty, and not so glamorous.

"I might..." said Nanaka in her low tone and looking at her damp hand.

"Go ahead then, you can take a shower first..." said Aina with a hint of sadness.

"Eh? Aren't you going in with me?" asked Nanaka, surprised.

"Do you want me to? I thought you were tired..." said Aina softly.

"I am... but, I would love to have a bath with you..." said Nanaka with her sleepy face; she moved towards her bag and took a scrunchie out of it.

Aina blinked a few times.

Maybe thinking about the possibility of Nanaka actually making it to the bathroom and dying in the tub.

She narrowed her eyes.

Those chances were actually pretty high.

"We don't need to have sex..." said Nanaka in a tired tone, " I can't do that anymore..."

And she moved toward the bathroom at her slow and normal pace.

Aina sighed.

"Ok, I'll join soon..." said Aina while seeing Nanaka disappear inside the bathroom.

The bathroom wasn't big, not small either, but two people could fit perfectly.

The tub was good enough, and remembering pocket-sized Aina, they would work fine.

Nanaka started the faucet to fill the tub, then removed the nightwear's pants, which she couldn't take off when all the condom thing happened. She left it aside, then made her hair into a bun, and took her contacts off.

Later, she sat in the small stall and started her showering process.

Everything was almost on autopilot, with the only consideration of not wetting her hair. That was a quick post sex shower, just to rinse the sweat away, so in no time she was sitting in the tub, feeling her soul abandon her body.

She closed her eyes tiredly, feeling only the water around her, the slow splashing sound of drops from the faucet echoing in the bathroom. The calm. The peace.

It had indeed been a very long and tiring day, with some mixed feelings; of course, she was happy that everything turned out great, her Center had been announced, the Fans had been great, Aqours was taking shape... but, that was just the start, everything would start to go up in levels, the difficulty would totally increase.

Muse had set the standards just too high, and they had to reach that, and above.

The Mini Live had been maybe at the same level of Muse's First Live...

Nanaka felt the pressure.

Somehow overwhelmed by that revelation, the sensation of drowning in all the expectations, the challenge, and that she was just too small for that.

Yokohama Arena seemed bigger than freaking Tokyo Dome.

She submerged herself down to nose level.

She could hear her heartbeat, the dripping from the faucet, and almost white sound; the abstraction of her reality...

"Oh My God! Suwawa wake up!" she heard in a high tone, of course, her eyes opened up abruptly.

Aina entered the bathroom and was about to pull her out of the tub.

"I'm awake." said Nanaka in a hurry, pulling only her head out of the water.

"Oh... geez, ya' scared the shit out of me," said Aina, relieved.

"Toilet is in the other room..."

Aina opened her eyes wide, made an "o" shaped mouth, and then giggled.

"Ha!" said Aina as she turned around, closed the door, and started her showering process; Nanaka swallowed dryly and squeezed her thighs, Aina was, indeed, completely naked.

Of course, that wasn't new, but still, it was unsettling.

Nanaka blinked a few times, but didn't say a thing, then her eyes traveled to the water in front of her in the tub. She could see her long and pale legs.

Aina was silently doing her things sitting on the stall, getting the soap in her hands, and started scrubbing.

"How's the water?" asked Aina suddenly, maybe she recalled that Nanaka was dead tired, in a tub, at the verge of falling asleep, maybe small talk would keep her awake.

"It's good... " said Nanaka in a soft tone.

"Great, be there in a second!" said Aina.

"Uhm"

Of course, Nanaka wasn't in a very chatty mood. But Aina was persistent.

"I ordered some food," she continued speaking, "I have some carvings, hope you don't mind, my treat of course!"

Nanaka blinked and looked at Aina's bare back with no emotion at all.

Aina could eat no matter what.

"I'm not hungry..." murmured Nanaka.

"You never are— should I have asked for ice cream?" asked Aina more into her humours tone and looking back at Nanaka, of course, showing all her naked and aroused body.

Nanaka blinked; looked at Aina's erected nipples, then her eyes moved slowly up to meet Aina's goofy smile, and big shiny eyes.

"How is it that you are hungry? Aina I can barely stay awake..." complained Nanaka in her monotone.

"Yes, I know," said Aina, she giggled and turned around, then kept scrubbing her body, "but I don't want this night to end... I'm sorry... I'm being pushy…"

Nanaka blinked again, frowning a bit while trying to focus on Aina's naked body without her contacts.

Why had Aina been so needy that night?

And if Nanaka put more thought into that, Aina had said something about making the most of that night... from it being their only opportunity...

Only opportunity...?

Opportunity for what?

Why?...

"And why is that?" Nanaka dared to ask, she was now somehow more awake.

Aina turned half her torso around and looked at Nanaka with sad eyes, but with a guilty smile.

"Because... this is our last night together Suwawa..." said Aina with sadness.

Nanaka couldn't help but open her eyes wide, in shock, maybe if she had been more awake or had more energy she might have jumped out of the tub.

Well, no.

But at least she could have sat up properly in the tub.

"Eh? Wha—-how—-why?!" Asked Nanaka not understanding a thing, but clearly uncomfortable in the tub, naked, vulnerable and all, and with that kind of news.

Maybe Aina could have waited for them to be dressed.

Is Aina breaking up with me?! WHY?!

Did she find out about me and Shuka?!

No, that can't be, why Am I thinking something like that?!

Aina blinked a few times, maybe too amused by Nanaka's reaction.

She was moving her head from one side to another and blinking faster, maybe thinking of several reasons why Aina wanted to break up with her.

Then, Nanaka just stuck her serious and inquisitive sight on Aina. Nothing made any sense.

Nanaka's serious face made Aina bite her lips.

"How is that?" asked Nanaka.

"Oh, I don't know what you are thinking... but is nothing too serious..." said Aina waving, and resuming her duties.

"How is it that there is nothing too serious about the fact that this is our last night together? What are you talking about?" asked Nanaka, maybe losing her nerves, but she needed to stay calm.

She was naked inside a tub full of water.

"Because it's not, Suwawa, I have a home..." said Aina with all the calm in the world.

Nanaka blinked.

Of course, she has...

"And the Mini Live is done, there's no reason why I should stay at your place anymore..." said Aina turning around once again to leave the soap, maybe missing all of Nanaka's epic faces of pain.

But she didn't say a thing.

Aina continued...

"I have other jobs these next few days, and I need to go back to Chiba..." said Aina, now filling the bucket.

"I see..." said Nanaka softly, her sight lost in Aina's soapy back, "Well, I have a job at the end of the year as well..."

Nanaka blinked a few times, recalling her last job of the year, and then she could finally have some days off, like all the rest of the members. She hurried up and added; "You can spend New Year's Eve with us too!"

The sound of water falling, splashing on Aina's body and the floor, followed by Aina's silence was a sign that everything that Nanaka had said had gone down the drain.

It was the longest pause that Aina would dare take.

Silence and Aina in the same sentence was just too odd.

"Aina...?" asked Nanaka with a sad tone.

Aina turned around slowly with a sad face.

"I'm sorry..." she said.

Nanaka raised her eyebrows in sadness; she felt somehow unprotected, maybe just too vulnerable in that position, she wanted to cover herself with something, but she was in a full tub, so she could only make some splashes with her hands.

"Sorry." said Nanaka not understanding why she was the one apologizing, maybe she felt too pushy and needy.

Maybe Aina had had enough of her and her family, and she wanted to be alone, far away in Chiba.

"You don't have to apologize, Nana, it's not your fault, and I appreciate the invitation..." said Aina recovering her shy smile, "I... I would love to spend it with you, but I can't, I... I'll go back to Hokkaido."

Nanaka opened her eyes even more in surprise. She felt the water becoming cold.

Hokkaido cold.

No, she didn't want to spend it alone in "far away Chiba".

She wanted to spend it in freaking far away Hokkaido.

Nanaka bit her lips.

Asking "why Hokkaido" would be just too dumb, of course, there is where her family was.

Of course, she wanted to go there... so far away... from her.

No no no...

Nanaka pull yourself together...

This isn't personal.

Nanaka blinked like a thousand times. Maybe she was having an anxiety attack.

"Suwawa..." called Aina in a soft tone, Nanaka looked at her but didn't say a thing.

"I... I need to see my family... I couldn't do it on Christmas..."

Nanaka nodded softly.

Of course, it made all the sense in the world. But it felt so...

Wrong.

Like when Aina went to Korea.

She abandoned Nanaka on her own, with "loneliness issues", and with a full weekend with Shuka.

Shuka again...

C'mon!

Nanaka pulled her right hand out of the water and scratched her temples.

"You ok?" Aina asked softly.

Nanaka stopped scratching and looked at her; Aina was all done bathing, but she wasn't jumping in the tub.

"Yes... sorry..." said Nanaka, then motioned at the tub, "aren't you getting in?"

"You want me to?" asked Aina softly and shyly.

"Why wouldn't I?" replied Nanaka.

"I...I don't know... maybe because...I'm heading back to Hokkaido?" Aina asked shyly.

Both stayed in their positions, blinking and studying each other.

Aina was using her guilty and sad eyes; still seated on the stall, shyly covering her gorgeous chest. By her body language, Nanaka could tell that Aina was feeling sad, ashamed, and guilty for the mere fact that she wanted to see her family.

"That doesn't make any sense..." said Nanaka dryly.

"Yes, I know, but I don't live in your mind Suwawa...I don't know what you are thinking..." said Aina, still on the stall.

Nanaka blinked a few times and then dared to ask.

"Why wouldn't you tell me this before?"

Aina raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Should I have? I'm doing it now..." said Aina softly.

"Yes, but... you knew this... how long did you know?" asked Nanaka, now in a more intense tone.

"I don't know, the beginning of the month maybe?" aaid Aina while shrugging like it wasn't important, "Since production asked us to work on Christmas week, I had to tell my family and make a backup plan."

Nanaka opened her eyes wide.

It was December 27th, she had had plenty of time to tell her.

Why hadn't she?

Nanaka bit her lips, she needed to act cool about it.

"Suwawa, I'm going to see my family… not to Korea…or somewhere else..." said Aina standing up, maybe reading Nanaka's mind.

Nanaka blinked, ashamed.

Was she throwing a tantrum now?

Aina walked to the tub and leaned over the edge to see Nanaka better.

"I thought this wouldn't be an issue... these are family matters..."

Nanaka's lip shivered.

"But...Hokkaido...?" she said in a very small voice.

"I'm from there Nana, nothing to do about it...I'm sorry..." said Aina with a sad tone, but her expression wasn't sad at all. She was happy to see her family, and Nanaka needed to bear that.

She just couldn't be the toxic and dependent girlfriend and deny Aina from seeing her relatives; if that was the case, Production had done that job.

Nanaka closed her eyes in complete defeat.

"May I—-?" asked Aina now touching the warm water in the tub.

Nanaka opened her sleepy and sad eyes and nodded.

Aina made a sad smile, and carefully entered the tub; Nanaka opened her legs to give space for Aina to sit, of course, they already had their method to seat comfortably in the tub.

Aina sat with her back towards Nanaka, and softly laid back to rest on Nanaka's chest. In an instant, Nanaka surrounded her with her arms, and snuggled in the cock of Aina's neck.

She could still recognize Aina's smell under the hotel's soap.

It was comforting, Aina naked and between her arms, gave her a sensation of control. As if Aina was trapped with her and couldn't just go away.

Like trapping a little bird.

Having Aina between her arms indeed gave her calm and joy, but...

Of course, it made Nanaka sad.

Yes, Aina was noisy almost all the time, but it was a nice and cute company back home. They could read manga, review each other's scripts and jobs, gaming, and why not talk nonsensical nerdy things together. And now that Mama Suwa and Grandma Suwa were at home, Aina could have some other entertaining things to do; like talking about different tea and comparing dialects between hers and Grandma Suwa, or just helping Mama Suwa in the kitchen.

The latter was mostly because Aina was an ojisan.

But those moments were key for Nanaka's mental health, in those moments, Nanaka was alone to hear her thoughts.

And Aina knew that Nanaka needed some time alone.

Being this considerate and all...

How could Nanaka deny Aina to see her family after almost a year?

She just couldn't, Aina deserved better.

"You ok Nana?" asked Aina in her mature tone, Nanaka tightened her embrace.

"Yes, sorry… I'll…miss you…that's all…" said Nanaka softly.

"Aww really? I thought you were tired of me already haha." giggled Aina, but Nanaka just tightened her embrace even more.

"You know I'm not…" said Nanaka with a hint of sadness.

"I… I'm sorry, I would love to stay longer…" said Aina caressing Nanaka's hand.

Nanaka blinked a few times.

Truth was that there was something bothering her about all this "Aina going back to freaking Hokkaido", and couldn't help but feel a bit drowned by it.

The key of their relationship lay in the fact that they communicated; they always spoke their minds, even if it took them some days -or weeks-, in the end they spoke the issue.

And Nanaka needed to clear that out.

"I…" started Nanaka, she cleared her voice, Aina tried to move her head a bit to let Nanaka know that she was listening.

"I would have preferred you let me know about this sooner…" said Nanaka with a sad tone.

"Oh, Suwawa I—" tried Aina.

"If this was supposed to be our last night together, alone, you should have told me." said Nanaka now with seriousness.

"Oh…"

"Today was a terrible idea…" continued Nanaka.

"It was?" asked Aina cluelessly.

"Of course! Aina we just finished our Mini Live, if I'm awake it's because of a Christmas Miracle; I'm deadly tired, I just couldn't 'perform' at my 100%, this isn't the last night with you I would have imagined in my mind…"

"Suwawa, is this because of the Buddy?" asked Aina amused.

"Not just that, Aina, may I remind you that I used it because I'm tired and couldn't… make…love to you… the way I would have loved to…" said Nanaka shyly and ashamed.

"Suwawa is not about the sex—"

"Worse then." interrupted Nanaka.

Aina didn't move.

But Nanaka didn't say anything either.

Of course, for Nanaka it would have been better to have known all that information beforehand, make a plan, try to convince Aina to stay another night with her, and maybe spend it in another hotel, or maybe in another place.

With more energy, with more passion, and not that lame.

Aina tried to move, uncomfortable because the tub was too small compared with the one that Nanaka had at her place, but she managed to turn half her torso around to look at Nanaka.

"Worse?" she repeated.

Nanaka bit her lips, but never took her eyes from Aina's.

"Worse, you know that sex is not the main reason to be with you." said Nanaka calmly.

"Worse?!" snapped Aina.

Nanaka blinked.

"Aina, if you had told me that you were leaving, I would have asked you for another night, not this one in particular; we could have spent it somewhere else… with a better tub, with more energy, with good food… I don't know…" finished Nanaka shyly.

Aina raised her eyebrows in sadness.

"Oh… I.. I'm sorry Suwawa, I didn't know that…this could be that important…" said Aina kindly.

"'That important'? Why wouldn't it be important… it's our last night together!" snapped Nanaka almost splashing the water out of the tub, with such indignation.

Maybe for Aina that wasn't important at all?

Tell her that she was leaving to freaking Hokkaido, and that that was their last night together.

Not important at all.

Aina blinked a few times and gave her a goofy smile, maybe that amused her?

"What? Is it not?" asked Nanaka, a frown now building between her eyes.

"You do love me…" said Aina amused.

Nanaka blinked a few times.

Then she deadpanned her.

"I'll leave…" murmured Nanaka, Aina burst into her old man laughter.

"No no… don't go… I'm teasing you!"

"Well, I'm not joking!" said Nanaka, almost throwing some water drops from her wet hands on her face, "So please behave!"

"Suwawa, I'll be gone for just a few days, the days Production gave us, I'll be back soon, so I thought it wasn't that big a deal!" said Aina trying to be serious.

"But you should have told me!"

"Why?"

"Because we are together, aren't we? I mean, I have those days off too, we could have done something or whatever…" retorted Nanaka.

"Suwawa, we already spent fifteen days together!" snapped Aina.

Nanaka opened her eyes big and wide.

Her tiredness and sleepy mode drowned in the tub.

And what did that mean? That Aina had had enough?

That she needed to be grateful for that?

That she was bored of her?

WHAT?!

Aina saw how Nanaka's gears started working in her head faster than ever, so she hurried up to continue talking.

"It's not that I don't want to spend time with you, don't get me wrong…" she started, Nanaka took a deep breath, maybe she recalled that she needed to breathe.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, when we were told about our days off, it was just the opportunity, I usually don't have so many days to spend in Hokkaido, I just took the chance; at that time we were—…NO, I... thought we were good and ok in our open relationship, or the sort, so I… I thought it was ok…"

Aina stopped to take a breath but Nanaka just let her tongue loose…

"So you didn't think about me…" said Nanaka softly, then maybe regretting it.

"I think about you every day Suwawa, don't be unfair…"

"But in this case…" pushed Nanaka.

"Well, no! In this case, I just thought about myself! There! I said it!" said Aina now tired from fighting against her own desires.

Nanaka just bit her lips.

You just can't cover the Sun with one finger.

Aina ran in her own colors. She always did.

Aina looked ashamedly towards the water, trying to avoid eye contact with Nanaka.

She looked like a scolded child.

The way Nanaka understood love was different from Aina, and that they had made clear in the Christmas date, meaning of course, when Production set the days off and all, Aina was just running on her own, knowing that Nanaka was something "safe", their relationship worked because their "love was strong", and Aina felt secure leaving Nanaka alone.

But they had learned that that wasn't true.

When you are taught through feelings...

Different heart shapes have different needs.

Aina always understood their relationship as something open and free, maybe knowing that Nanaka would never cheat on her because of her sense of justice, and Nanaka always understood their relationship as something steady and settled.

And now that they had cleared that, of course, now it was blowing in their faces.

Nanaka made a bitter face, it wasn't Aina's fault at all.

If she wanted to see her family it was ok, and if she hadn't told her it was because of that circumstance.

Nanaka had to make a mental note to work on a midpoint between their heart's shapes and their needs, otherwise, it would be difficult for both to keep it up; Aina wanting her freedom, and Nanaka wanting control over it.

"Hey..." called Nanaka and cupped Aina's puffed cheeks to make her look up at her, "It's not your fault, so don't push it..."

"Eh? You sure?" asked Aina sadly.

Nanaka smiled softly.

"Yes, I'm sorry... I...overreacted over it..." said Nanaka ashamed.

Aina didn't say a thing, but clearly made a sad face.

"You need, no, you want to see your family, and that's ok..." said Nanaka with kindness, caressing Aina's cheek.

"But...what about not telling you?" asked Aina with sadness, as if she had failed a test.

"Well, it made sense at that time... actually, I guess you don't need to tell me everything you do...what am I? Your mother?" teased Nanaka.

Aina just raised an eyebrow.

"Weren't you complaining about it just a few minutes ago?" asked Aina somewhat annoyed.

"Yes I was, because it made me sad, and lonely that you will be gone, we could have spent that time together, we never have time for us and date, our first date was the Christmas one, but I get it, you need to go." said Nanaka with sadness, even if she tried to cover it up, she was a terrible liar.

"Oh, Suwawa..." murmured Aina.

"I don't want to be the 'pushy controlling Girlfriend' either...I trust you…" said Nanaka, still sad.

Aina looked at her with puppy eyes.

"Oh my, you are just too cute, and adorable... now I don't want to go..." said Aina with a cute tone.

Nanaka blinked, and then deadpanned her, she just couldn't be seen so vulnerable.

"But, you already told your family, you have to go... I'll be ok," said Nanaka, but not really sure. The last time Aina had left was complicated, to say the least.

"Oh, I know you will be," said Aina with her goofy tone, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I will try to be careful next time..."

"It's ok..." said Nanaka now more relaxed, but hiding her true feelings about it.

Even if she understood the circumstances, Aina chose to go home to freaking Hokkaido rather than staying and spending those days dating Nanaka like a normal couple.

Those 15 days Aina was bragging about spending with her, had been while working, so did those days count as days spent with the girlfriend?

"Do you have any plans for the New Year?" asked Aina, also trying to feel more relaxed.

"Not really, since my family is here I guess it was to stay?... I wasn't planning anything actually, stay in Tokyo, sleep." said Nanaka.

"Oh, I see..." said Aina, maybe sad about Nanaka's such lame plans.

"When are you leaving?" asked Nanaka in her monotone.

"On the 31st, in the afternoon…after my job is over." said Aina shyly.

"I see..." said Nanaka, but didn't add anything more.

Aina leaving was for sure something to feel lonely about after 15 days with her around.

It was going to be the longest period of time where they couldn't just see each other. For the Korea trip, it had just been a weekend, and in normal months, they saw each other almost every day at practice.

So, that meant no Aina, and no one from Aqours, for about 10 days at least.

Sure, those days screamed "vacation".

Aina looked at Nanaka with some sad eyes.

Maybe it was guilt; knowing that Nanaka was somehow getting lonely, and how her heart work, maybe this let Aina know that she should be more careful with her new "wannabe girlfriend", even if they didn't have a label yet, Nanaka sure acted as one, and expected Aina to think about her as one too.

Be more thoughtful, pay attention, and care about her feelings too.

"Hey," called Aina with a soft tone, "What about… you… coming home with me?"

Nanaka locked her sleepy eyes on Aina in front of her, and blinked a few times.

"What?…"

"Well, when is your next job?" asked Aina now.

"Eh… outside Aqours? On the 30th, then I'm free…" said Nanaka scratching her chin.

"Outside Aqours?…Do we have more Aqours related jobs this year?" asked Aina, opening her eyes wide.

Nanaka looked at her with her sleepy face and blinked once again.

"Ainya, tomorrow we have to go to Lantis Building, some staff meeting. I guess it will be to talk about the Mini Live, and to set us free… I don't know…" said Nanaka shrugging, "But, we have to go tomorrow…"

"Oh, shit, I forgot…" said Aina now in more thought, and looking at her legs under the water, "I... I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night with me tomorrow…at my place…"

Nanaka raised her eyebrows in surprise; Aina's gaze was stuck in her legs, and now playing hands underwater, a clear sign that she was nervous.
Of course, the invitation was to her home in Chiba, not back in far freaking Hokkaido.
Maybe Nanaka was hoping just too much for Aina to think that Nanaka could spend the holidays with her and her family in her hometown.

Maybe she was just putting too much thought into her relationship with Aina, knowing that barely a few days ago, Aina had just accepted that this was a serious wannabe relationship, and she needed to "dedicate" more time to her wannabe girlfriend.
She just couldn't be smothering her with something like that.

Aina was trying, and if that invitation came from her, it was because she wanted to do it.
And Nanaka needed to take advantage of that and just accept it.

Nanaka moved her torso towards Aina and hugged her.

"I would love to," said Nanaka in her husky tone into Aina's ear.

It made her shiver.

"Oh…" murmured Aina, who just leaned on the hug, and closed her eyes accepting the embrace.

"Thank you…" said Aina with a bit of emotion.

They stayed there in the tub, enjoying each other for the Gods know how long. Enough time for them to be there feeling the love, and for Nanaka's legs to feel numb.

After the bath, of course, they dried themselves, and changed clothes, totally shifting the topic conversation to everything and nothing; in between they shared some cute kisses and touches, of course, all needed to be controlled, because Nanaka wasn't in any condition to be having more sex rounds. No matter how much temptation Aina might offer.

Aina's food arrived.
It was nothing fancy, it looked like a sandwich, filled with beef and veggies. Some salad as a side dish, and a boiled egg.
It looked like breakfast.

Nanaka just brushed her teeth tiredly, and did her nightly beauty routine while Aina munched on her food.
In the meantime, Aina would speak about her upcoming jobs, and how anxious she was about coming home, and her grandparents' great cooking skills.
She told her that her family owned a restaurant, that it wasn't very popular, but she guessed that her fame could somehow change that, and for that, she was even worried.

For Nanaka it was just fascinating.
Aina was fascinating.

How that tiny being could be just so full of energy, and always having something to talk about.
She knew about a lot of stuff besides Anime, Manga, and singing. She always knew some interesting fact about something, and that, of course, made Nanaka interested, because she loved to learn new things.
Also, she was mesmerized by her cuteness, so no matter if Aina was eating, in the tub, or whatever, it was always a feast for her eyes to just watch and listen to her.

No matter if she was talking nonsense, in the end, it could always cause some smiles and laughs out loud.
And that was what everything mattered to her.

The goal was to laugh forever with someone who took her seriously.

And Aina, odd and all, took her seriously and cared about her.

They finally went to bed, fixing their bodies into their comfy and already tested position, with Aina between Nanaka's warm embrace, resting in what Aina called the "perfect pillows", even though Nanaka just snorted at that comment, because she knew that wasn't true, and for that fact, Aina had better pillows to lay her head on.

But that was the comfiest position they slept in. And it worked.
Aina gave her peace, calm, and joy.

And after a long and tiring day like that, she well deserved it.

She needed to let it go, even if it was hard to believe. Let go of her toxic thoughts, her wishes to "control" Aina, and be more comprehensive about the effort she was making for the sake of the relationship.

Let it go.

They fell asleep like a light, indeed, holding each other's hopes and dreams in their arms, wishing for the best to come.

.

One thing for sure was that Nanaka was never bored or at peace with Aina around.

It was always noise, laughs, and rush.

She couldn't say that she didn't like it, but it was like a rollercoaster of emotions, that at the end of the day she just didn't know how to feel about it.

The next morning at the Vista Hotel, of course, they had to rush to Nanaka's place, change clothes, hear Aina complain about not being able to have a proper breakfast, as Nanaka complained that she needed more hours sleep.

But they managed to reach Lantis Building first thing in the morning.

Their faces were priceless.

Not only the NanaAina couple, but all the members; it was like a mix between being rolled out by a truck, and at the same time like winning the lottery.

Of course, the Chief laughed about it, calling that the look of success.

Clearly, it didn't amuse any of the members, because they looked and felt like crap, but happy inside, maybe that was how a hangover felt like?

But deep down in their hearts, there was a swelling feeling of accomplishing something big, and despite the tiredness, they felt happy - and sleepy-.

It gave the member's concern that Aina arrived with a bag besides her regular black backpack. Nanaka sweated bullets, but Aina just laughed about it and waved that off, saying that she was heading back "home" that afternoon, so that was why she was packed.

She didn't specify which of her homes she was talking about, but clearly, Arisa shared some concerning looks with Nanaka. And that was the cue for everybody to share their holiday plans.

Arisa, Rikako, and Aikyan said they would spend it in Tokyo.

Aiai was happy to head back to Nagano for strawberry picking, while King said she was taking the Shinkansen back to Kobe.

Anchan and Shuka said that they would spend the holidays with their families in Saitama, their hometown.

Nanaka didn't answer.

She was debating with herself if she was going to stay in Tokyo or to head back to Kawagoe. Either way, the conversation drifted somewhere else and she didn't need to answer.

The only thing she needed to answer was to Aina telling her that her Kanan figure was still in her backpack - and the Buddy- and she had forgotten to take it out since the Christmas date.

Nanaka was paler than her soul during the whole meeting, knowing that the figure was sharing the same space with the Buddy, and with the constant fear of someone finding out.

She needed to rescue poor Kanan from the Buddy's depravations.

Of course, her state of discomfort didn't escape Arisa's inquisitive eyes, and in consequence, for Aina's.

Aina just waved the problem away by telling Arisa about the figures in her backpack, and carelessly brought them out. Arisa just told them to use the opportunity to take some "KanaMari" pictures in order to highlight the ship for the fans, remembering the good pictures they took for the Christmas date.

Arisa always knew how to tease/please the fans.

And it worked.

About the meeting, it wasn't really a big deal.

The Chief congratulated them for the Mini Live once again, and reinforced the fact that the Mini Live was an important "rehearsal" for their First Live, and that bein times bigger than what they had just accomplished.

So they needed to go home, take a well deserved break, and then come back to keep practicing, because, at that point, it would become the real deal.

Pressure?

They knew that the First Live would be something bigger and more meaningful. Not some time ago their predecessors had performed their last and Final Live, and now they had to take over the franchise, so that was something huge, and Production wouldn't tolerate any mistake.

Not a single one.

The expectations were just too high.

Nanaka made a mental note to go and check Yokohama Arena out to see how big the venue was compared to Tokyo Dome.

Of course, she knew that Yokohama Arena wasn't a theater-like Toyosu PIT, and after they concluded their First Live the venues would only get bigger.

With mixed feelings, Aqours abandoned Lantis Building to attend to their own and personal affairs, and maybe that was the last time they saw each other.

Well, everyone with the exception of the NanaAina couple who made their time to finally spend their last night together in Aina's house.

How little did Nanaka know, that the night included Aina's sister.

Clearly, it wasn't what she was expecting.

And it was hard for her to let that go.

.

.

.

-o0o 2017 o0o -

Kawagoe.

Or as local people called it, "Little Edo", because it felt like walking in a place that time freaking froze, due to its many historic buildings.

As Kyoto tried to maintain its historical buildings and streets, Kawagoe did pretty much the same, with the consideration that it wasn't as touristic as the Country's former Capital.

It is located in the Saitama Prefecture, right in its center, at only a 1 hour 43 minutes train ride from downtown Tokyo. By car, just a 55 minute ride when not in rush hour.

In other words, Chiba was closer than Kawagoe.

But due to its strategic position in the Japanese map, it has a humid subtropical climate, which became very handy because that meant that summers were warm, and the winters were cool, but with little to no snowfall at all.

This meant that Suwa Nanaka could be at ease in both difficult seasons of the year; not roasted in Summer, and not frozen in Winter.

These were strong facts to make the final decision to go back to her hometown.

Tokyo was just too cold, too snowy, and too lonely.

Even if at her place there were 4 people sharing the roof.

And that was just too many people if you had asked Nanaka.

After the gloomy "last night" with Aina, Nanaka returned to her "crowded" place, and even if she liked to have her parents and grandma at home, she was kind of used to have that space just for her - and Aina, at least for the last 15 days- so it was hard to do what she did best on her almost days off; Sleep.

Even if her parents respected her space, they made enough noise for Nanaka to start mentally complaining about it, and making decisions of going out of the house to "work". -This was why "almost" days off-.

She was free from official Love Live! issues until mid-January, but still had to record a song (Thrilling One Way), and had the lyrics for her Center to start studying them.

She didn't recall Shuka (or any of the members) receiving the lyrics or some advantage to "study" it first before recording, yet, this was Suwa Nanaka, and she and the Sound Producer had their differences.

Also, she had her radio recording with Mike, and due to the holidays, they recorded some extra episodes for her to be as free as possible to enjoy her vacation. Besides that, she had some meetings with her manager to continue discussing new jobs/projects for the next year.

All these "errands" made her go out into the chilly cold, lonely, and snowy Tokyo, which was really depressing and bad for her blood circulation, it made her determine that she couldn't stay in that "tiny" place, with all the people invading her space, and her going out every day into the cold to avoid it.

So after her last public event on the 30th, where she went as Sunny Funny Seiyuu in the "Pj Berri no Mogumogu Munyamunya" project event, she commanded her parents to spend New Year's Eve, and everything, in the traditional lands of Kawagoe, and enjoy the traditional festivities there, and it's better weather.

Suwa Family didn't say no.

But unfortunately, that didn't resolve the problem.

Aina was even further now.

Nanaka did the math in all the public and non-public transportation Japan offered.

She was far and gone.

After 15 days with her, day and night, of course, her absence was just too noticeable.

Leaving a very annoying void in her existence.

Not only Aina was far gone in Hokkaido, but now she was in Kawagoe free from duty, mostly bored at home.

And guess what?

That ceiling didn't have any grains.

Annoyed by her own decisions, Nanaka just sat up on her bed, grabbed her phone, and numbly started browsing her social media.

It was 2017 already, and everybody seemed to be starting the year eagerly, not only Aqours members, but the rest of her friends and colleagues.

She could see all media swamped by pictures of their "Toshikoshi Soba", or their "O-sechi ryori" feasts on January 1st, not to mention all the cute "Mochi" around.

And everything she had uploaded so far was a SIF screenshot that was really lame, and some pictures of the Mini Live.

But nothing on Aina's side. Not even a meal, or her first visit to the temple. Nothing.

She knew that Aina didn't like Social Media, she just used it for her professional purpose, and when she was on vacation, she really meant it.

Back to that night on the 31st, she had only posted a selfie, thanking her fans for going to her event that day, and answered Nanaka some flirty tweets from that same night.

But that was the last thing besides the "Happy New Year!" text message on the Aqours LINE chat, followed by a lot of cheerful stickers.

Not even a phone call, or a private message.

Maybe Aina was REALLY busy? Like, she had gone back home and threw her phone to the bears.

Nanaka tried to call her the night of the 31st, to be the first to congratulate her, but it always sounded busy, or was redirected to her voice mail, so it was of no use, and Nanaka needed to feel busy that night.

Of course, spending New Year's festivities in a place that screamed "tradition" everywhere, she not only heard the 108 rings from her local temple at midnight, but a whole symphony of Buddhist bells echoed around. The Joya no kane trying to drive away her negative emotions from the previous year.

Holding on to that feeling, she made a mental note of her current experiences.

2016 had been a great year, even if it held a dark chapter in September from her breakup with Shuka. She indeed had grown a lot, not only emotionally, but physically too. From being last on the Popularity poll, to being the new Center, to being the one that lacks the most stamina, to flawlessly finishing 8.5 songs in the Mini Live.

Nanaka smiled proudly about her own accomplishment.

Everything felt worth it.

Holding onto that thought, she browsed her favorite pictures of that day, the day of the Mini Live, and posted them while the bells were still ringing.

Her first picture was one with Third Years posing in their Christmas outfits, then made a special post with Arisa, and another one with King, showing that Azalea could bond too. (In a very individual way...). Maybe Arisa was equally bored because she answered both of her related posts.

Aina took her time but did it too; they flirted with Tweets.

That was how romanticism looked like in 2017. After that, Aina was lost in Hokkaido.

So after a few attempts of trying to call and reach her, she stopped, and did her last move; post her first picture of 2017, of course, one with Aina post-Mini Live in their Aojump! outfits, with lots of hearts, and placing green and purple emojis, maybe for everyone to be happy; Production because of the KanaMari shipping promoting, of course, for NanaAina fans, and last but not least, for her own lonely heart...

Aina didn't answer that post.

Returning to bored Nanaka in her room a few days later.

She closed her phone and dropped it on her side of the bed, to later throw herself on it, her head on the pillows.

She sighed deeply and tiredly.

Just another day, the shame was gone, and it was hard to believe that she had let it go.

It had been 3 days since that, it was January 3rd, and still, nothing sustainable from Aina.

Nanaka texted her a "Good morning, How are you?! Have a nice day" every day, like always, and then Aina answered a "Good morning for you too!"

And then the conversation ended, until Nanaka once again dared to write and ask how she was doing, but Aina seemed to be busy, and the answers could be delayed by hours for just a "fine! Really snowy today", or something as empty as the weather. But she never asked how Nanaka was doing, or where the hell was she spending her holidays. Or with whom.

It was almost like placing a record, but not really meaning it.

So there was Nanaka, laying on her back, looking for grains in her ceiling, knowing that she wasn't going to find any, and bored to the bone, and why not sad too, when her phone started ringing.

Nanaka's heart skipped a few beats as she jumped on her bed.

She definitely wasn't expecting any calls. Of course, her first thought was Aina, but big disappointment when she saw that it wasn't her.

Her eyes opened up like big fried eggs, and not even noticing she stopped breathing; she blinked incredulously, not believing her eyes.

Shuka was calling.

Nanaka stood up with shaking knees and her phone in her hands, like not knowing what to do with it, or almost as if the phone was burning in her hands.

She looked everywhere around her room; besides her old plushie collection, there weren't any other living pairs of eyes looking at her. She moved from one side to another, mumbling "whattodo whattodo", feeling her heart in her throat and pain in her breathing.

And of course, when her ring tone was almost over, she answered.

"Hello." she said almost out of breath and in a hurry, maybe it sounded as if she was running to catch it.

"Hi, Osuwa!" she heard that voice that made her belly tickle.

Nanaka was about to say something but her tongue became paralyzed by nerves.

"Happy new year Suwawa." said Shuka with a kind voice.

Nanaka blinked a few times and couldn't help but feel sad.

Shuka was calling and greeting her, and her wannabe girlfriend was lost in snowy Hokkaido.

Maybe she was busy or had a low and crappy signal, and that was why she was missing, remembering that Aina was from a small town called Chitose, or maybe she was at her grandparent's restaurant helping, and that was why she was so absent?

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows.

"How ya' doing?" asked Shuka, bringing Nanaka back to the conversation.

"Oh, Happy new year Shuka-chan, sorry…" apologized Nanaka, "I'm fine, how are you?"

"Good!, now better, coz I'm able to hear ya'" said Shuk quite bluntly.

Nanaka bit her lips but didn't say a thing, there was an awkward silence.

"Sorry, that was weird…" said Shuka as she giggled, "I wanted to call you since Sunday…"

"Oh—" mumbled Nanaka.

So, Nanaka had been in Shuka's mind since the very first day of the year.

"Tha—thank you…" murmured Nanaka.

"Let's work together this year too…" said Shuka in a mature tone.

"Yes, let's do that, I'm in your care." said Nanaka with a kind voice.

Both paused, maybe half a minute just to take those words and save them in their hearts.

"Good!" snapped Shuka now more in her happy and clumsy tone.

"Yes…" said Nanaka, now confused.

What was with that call? Was it just to congratulate her for the New Year?

To see how it was going? To check on Nanaka?

"Say, are ya' in Tokyo?" asked Shuka, still in her cute and happy self.

"Oh, no, I'm in Kawagoe…" murmured Nanaka, somewhat gloomy, her mind drifting to the possibility that Shuka was near Asakusa, or closer, to hang out.

"Oh… Kawagoe…..that was in Saitama right?" asked Shuka cluelessly.

"Yes, I came back for the holidays…" said Nanaka, somehow sad.

"I knew ya' were from Saitama, but never knew where exactly…" said Shuka giggling.

"Well, we never got that chance, I don't come back that often…" Nanaka was saying with sadness.

"Well, that's even better!" snapped Shuka.

"Eh? How so?"

"I'm at home now…" said Shuka, "I'm from Saitama!"

"I know that…I've been at your place…" said Nanaka matter of factly.

"How far are you then? Where's this Kawagoe?"

Nanaka giggled.

Shuka was adorable.

But also very clueless.

"The fact that we are in the same prefecture, doesn't mean that we are close…" said Nanaka apologetically.

"Eh? Really?" whined Shuka.

"Well, there's a reason why I have a place in Tokyo, I'm kind of far… your place is near Tokyo…" said Nanaka now sad.

"But how far?" asked Shuka again.

"Uhm…I'm in Nishi-ku Shuka... from your station… I guess… an hour?" said Nanaka carelessly, "More or less…"

"An hour?!" snapped Shuka, "Geez!"

"Sorry…" said Nanaka with her monotone voice.

Shuka giggled.

"It doesn't matter," said Shuka, "I want to see you"

Nanaka opened her eyes wide, as her heart stopped once again.

Shuka always managed to take her breath away.

"Eh?…" said Nanaka softly.

"What ya' heard, and if ya' were in Tokyo, I would go and see ya' anyway…" said Shuka with confidence, "We have done it before right?"

Nanaka swallowed dryly.

Yes, of course, they had done that before.

Actually, Nanaka went in the middle of the cold and snowy night after Aiai's birthday, all the way to Saitama to Shuka's place to make peace in their relationship.

Or when she used to go to her place for dance practice.

Going to Shuka's place wasn't an issue. It never was.

But also, Nanaka was always the one who would travel to Saitama to see Shuka, unless they agreed on a date, which were in Tokyo because of logistics.

And because Nanaka's place was there, so it wasn't an issue.

"Do…do you want… to come?" said Nanaka softly and shyly; maybe that was wrong.

"Of course! I wanna see ya'. Also, I don't know Kawagoe, must be nice…if ya' are from there, I bet it is… might be beautiful…" said Shuka without any shame.

Nanaka felt her cheeks becoming red and her heart starting to accelerate. Maybe going to Kawagoe wasn't a bad idea after all.

"What did she say?!" Nanaka heard on the other side of the line, it made her raise her eyebrows in surprise, and stop the butterfly machine in her belly.

"Is she coming?!"

She heard again, and of course, Nanaka could recognize that voice clearly.

"Is Anchan with you?" asked Nanaka.

Shuka giggled

"Yes, she came to play— wait!" Shuka said.

"Hey! Suwawa!" said Anchan, it seemed that Anchan had taken the phone from Shuka's hands.

"Hi, Anchan." said Nanaka, confused.

"Happy New Year! Please let's work together another year!" said Anchan more seriously.

"Likewise Anchan." said Nanaka still confused.

"So, we were here with Yu-chan, and we were wondering if you wanted to come over and play with us?" asked Anchan almost in her Chika tone.

Yu-chan?...

Anchan calls her by her real name?

"Eh? You want me to go there?" asked Nanaka, now not that happy.

She didn't have anything against Anchan, but if she had to be honest, she would have preferred to be

alone with Shuka.

"Why not, are you busy?—" Anchan was saying.

"She's in Kawagoe..." Nanaka overheard Shuka saying that.

"Eh?... Where on Earth is that?" Anchan whispered to Shuka.

Nanaka could have bet her plushie collection that Shuka had just shrugged.

"I thought you were in Tokyo, sorry..." said Anchan, now talking to the phone.

"I'm not that far though," said Nanaka grabbing the small hope to see Shuka, "maybe you both can come and take a look at Kawagoe"

"Oh, really?" asked Anchan, but then the voice changed.

"What about today?" asked Shuka.

"Sounds good..." said Nanaka then her eyes went towards her desk; all the paperwork she needed to study/check was on it, waiting for her to do her job.

"Great! Let's lunch, you'll send me the location?" asked Shuka eagerly.

"Sure," said Nanaka, moving her eyes away from her duties.

"Good— Hey, she said we can go, let's get ready!" said Shuka, of course, towards Anchan. Nanaka could hear an eager "K'!", and then Shuka spoke again, this time more seriously.

"I'm sorry Osuwa, are you ok with this?"

Nanaka narrowed her eyebrows, confused.

"What are you talking about?" asked Nanaka.

"Well, we talked about it, I don't know if it's ok for us to... meet..." said Shuka with a mature voice.

Nanaka raised an eyebrow and maybe felt annoyed.

"Then why did you call me?" asked Nanaka bluntly.

"Anchan was here... she... she asked me for ya'..." said Shuka, maybe a bit troubled.

"And...?"

"We used to hang out Osuwa, the three of us. Also, she still thinks we are together... so she asked me... about you, and why weren't we spending our holidays together..."

Because that's what couples do right?

They spend their holidays together! Or at least they call each other...

Not like Aina who just went missing...

Nanaka started massaging her temples.

"Osuwa, are you mad?" asked Shuka a bit sad, of course, Nanaka made a long silence while thinking.

"No, of course not, you are right..." said Nanaka softly, "Then, everything you said was to play along?"

"What thing?" asked Shuka cluelessly.

"The thing about wanting to see me, or to travel no matter where..." said Nanaka gloomy, because, the call and the invitation was all part of the lie they were selling, meaning that the words were the whole makeup for that mask of lies.

"Oh, that; no Osuwa, of course, not, I really want to see you," said Shuka in her mature tone, "but, we know we can't, so it was up to you..."

Nanaka blinked a few times, trying to put her feelings in order.

She was actually really happy about receiving that call, to have Shuka over, or even Anchan to come along, but of course, she had forgotten about the deal they had, they were colleagues, they had set the line, and she was trying to date Aina.

She had forgotten that.

"I see." said Nanaka seriously.

"I... I refused to call you earlier... but Anchan asked..." said Shuka, troubled.

"Why is Anchan over there?" asked Nanaka, confused.

"Oh... we live close by, she came to play..." said Shuka with a happy tone.

"Right..."

"And she found it weird that...you weren't here, or me over there...ya' know..." said Shuka shyly.

"So, we are selling the lie... even on our day's off?"

"Eh? No—"

"What do you want Shuka?" asked Nanaka, somehow annoyed.

"I want to see you." said Shuka with no hesitation.

"For real? Or because of the lie?" asked Nanaka with a strong voice.

"For real, I want to see you, period..." said Shuka with the same strong tone.

Nanaka blinked a few times, feeling her heart pounding really fast, her belly turning to jelly, same as her knees.

When was the last time that Shuka had been so Ikemen for her own good?

Making clear decisions, and no hesitation.

"Ok then, if that's the case, we can hang out today..." said Nanaka trying to convince herself that this was the right decision.

"Really?!" snapped Shuka eagerly and in her normal happy tone.

"Well... why not—"

"This is gonna be great!" interrupted Shuka, "I'll get ready then, see ya' at noon?"

Nanaka blinked faster, maybe everything was moving too fast.

"Eh, sure, I'll send you the location." said Nanaka a bit unsettled.

"Ok, see ya' then!"

And faster than a thought, Shuka hung up.

Silence filled the room as Nanaka stood in the middle with her phone in her hand, sweating cold, and not really sure what the hell had happened.

Shuka was coming over.

Nanaka blinked.

And she was with Aina.

What have I done?

Is this ok?…

Nanaka looked at her phone and Shuka started texting her.

Nanaka bit her lips guiltily.

Of course, Shuka was asking for directions, and Nanaka was debating if it was a good call to have a "date" with Shuka.

The last time they went out, not an inch of Shuka's skin had been left untouched.

Nanaka massaged her temples with her free hand.

That could not happen again.

Because the place had people -Suwa Parents, Suwa Grandma-, also they had set the line, and Nanaka was committed to Aina, and clearly Anchan was coming too.

Anchan is coming…

We won't be alone…

Wait.

Nanaka opened her eyes to a resolution; actually, Anchan coming wasn't that bad anymore.

She opened her phone and read Shuka's messages; she looked eager and happy for this "play date".

For them, it was a play date, like when they were in junior high.

Well, that used to be the tonic when they used to go out. Big sister Nana babysits the youngest sisters.

What was she freaking out for?

Nanaka answered with happy emojis and was about to send the location for Kawagoe's station.

She stopped her finger.

Anchan is coming too, this means there's nothing to be afraid of, or to feel as wrong.

Because we are hanging out together, like friends…

Nothing more.

"Yes…" murmured Nanaka as she pressed the send button.

After that, she changed towards Aina's LINE chat.

There it was, her early morning message greeting Aina, and hoping for her to have a good day and asking how she was.

It was 10:30 in the morning, and there were no news from Aina yet.

Maybe it was too soon?

Maybe Nanaka needed to stop worrying about Aina and let her be.

Nanaka let out a soft sigh with some shades of sadness.

Her heart didn't have that shape.

If she was with someone, she was hoping to be the first priority for that someone.

The first thought in the morning, the wonders of how she was doing, the last thought before going to bed. To have little details, to be taken care of, to be there for her, more than just share some hobbies.

To care.

Nanaka was someone independent, yes.

She wasn't asking for Aina to be texting her 24/7, or checking on her every hour, Nanaka was someone who also liked her space, but if she was going to commit to someone, she expected for that someone to show that too, commitment.

But Aina was somehow missing, taking her time, and leaving Nanaka a part of her life.

Their hearts had different shapes.

What fitted Nanaka, wasn't exactly what fitted Aina.

Nanaka wanted almost the more classical version of dating, while Aina was still very attached to her "open relationship" version of love.

And that can only bring frustration.

So, let her be.

Nanaka closed her phone and dropped on the bed.

Whatever reason Aina had to show little to no interest in her wannabe girlfriend would have to wait until she came back to work.

She was clear in her feelings and was trying in her ways, and with the tools she had in her power to let them work, to show that she loved Aina and that she cared about her, and them as a couple.

If Aina was so selfish that she couldn't see that, then, it wasn't Nanaka's problem.

And she didn't see a reason why she should feel swamped about it.

She had to let it go.

With that determination, Nanaka started her morning.

It was still early, but Shuka and Anchan coming over required more attention.

So the next hour and a half Nanaka was focused on getting clean, hair on top, her skin glowing, her dress flawless, and of course, her makeup shining more than ever.

She was debating herself if she should wear a Kimono because of the festivities, or just her casual doll clothes.

Kawagoe was a city of tradition, it was stuck in time, and with New Year's festivities it was common and typical to wear Kimonos and hang around the city.

But, this was Shuka and Anchan.

Probably they would mock her, or maybe after the mocking, she would feel a little misplaced, because of course, neither of the young girls would be dressed for the occasion, they might go as normal teenagers.

So, with that predicament settled, she chose one of her doll dresses, a cute pair of matching boots, a fluffy coat, and a nice scarf.

With all the cute artillery on her, she went out towards Kawagoe Station.

It was a cold day, but not cold enough for snow to fall.

When Nanaka reached the main door she had a second thought if she should keep the plan up, but according to her LINE messages, Shuka and Anchan were on their way towards little Edo.

She checked on Aina once again.

Nothing.

She quickly looked for her on her Twitter, and once again, there was nothing.

It was hard to try to move on on the play date while Aina was just too silent and missing.

"Do you need a ride?" she heard on her right.

She looked slowly at her side to see her mother going out the main door as well.

"Uhm…" said Nanaka with no interest at all.

"Where are you going?"

"To the station…"

"Are you going to leave?" asked Mama Suwa, somewhat sadly.

"Eh?" mumbled Nanaka, surprised as if her mother had asked the dumbest question of all.

"We just arrived home, why do you want to leave so soon?" asked Mama Suwa with clear sadness in her tone and face.

"I'm not leaving…" said Nanaka then she looked ahead, towards the street, she was running late, "I'll meet up with some friends."

"Oh… do we have visitors?…. geez! Nao-chan you should have told me—"

"No we won't… they aren't coming home…" said Nanaka in her monotone, and started moving out the porch.

"Hey… Sweetie…" tried Mama Suwa to stop her, "Just hold on a minute."

Nanaka stopped and looked back towards her mother; she shook a pair of keys.

"Let me take you there…" said Mama Suwa, "It's a twenty-five-minute walk… and you walk like a snail…" mocked Mama Suwa.

Nanaka deadpanned

"I…was planning on taking the bus…"

"Don't be silly, I'll take you…" said Mama Suwa and started moving towards her car.

Nanaka thought about it, and after a few seconds, she determined that it was better.

Walking and taking the bus would make her sweat, and she might ruin her make-up, and she wanted to look good for Shuka.

And Anchan, of course.

"Ok…" murmured Nanaka, but of course, her mother was already in the car, ready to go.

Nanaka jumped in, and as soon as her butt touched the seat, Mama Suwa started the conversation.

"So, is Suzuki-san coming?"

Nanaka closed the door with a heavy thud.

"No, she is in Hokkaido." said Nanaka bitterly.

"Oh…That's far... so, who's coming…?" asked Mama Suwa while starting the car.

"Inami-san, and… Saito-san…" said Nanaka shyly.

"Oh! Saito-san is coming, haven't seen her in a long time… How is she…? Should I make hamburger steaks for dinner?"

"They aren't staying… so no— why were you out anyway?" asked Nanaka, annoyed.

"I needed to go grocery shopping, so I can buy some steak for hamburgers for Saito-san, it's no problem." insisted Mama Suwa.

"She is not staying, I told you." said Nanaka with more bitterness.

"That's sad…"

"Why? Also, Inami-san will be here too, no need to make preferences…" said Nanaka in a bored tone.

"Inami-san, Inami-san…. Is she from Aqours too?"

"Inami-san, Anchan, our leader in Aqours… I've talked about her, we used to hang out too; the one who performed in stage plays?" said Nanaka softly.

"Oh, right, right…I remember…"

"She is from Saitama too…" said Nanaka not knowing why; just to fill in more information for her curious mother.

"Do you know her favorite dish? I can make it too… Hope it's not fancy like Suzuki-san's, omurice is pretty easy, same as Saito-san's…" said Mama Suwa in a happy tone.

"I'm not going to ask for her favorite dish, because they are not staying…and please stop comparing…" said Nanaka now looking outside the window.

"I'm not comparing anything…"

"You are; you liked Suzuki-san more than Saito-san." said Nanaka with bitterness.

"And that bothers you?"

Nanaka blinked a few times.

Actually, what her mother or other people thought about her relationship affairs wasn't of her concern. Nanaka used to live her life at her own pace, and if that bothered someone, it was their problem, not hers.

Mama Suwa never mentioned anything about Shuka while they were dating. Nothing.

If it was right, wrong, or if she liked her as a daughter-in-law.

The same thing with Aina, Mama Suwa never said a thing about it.

Maybe for her, Shuka and Aina were just friends, colleagues.

Both lived "far" (Chiba-Saitama) and needed a strategic place to crash from time to time.

"I don't know…" said Nanaka now more into the thought, "Should I be bothered?"

"Eh?… how is that you don't know?" giggled Mama Suwa.

"Do you prefer Suzuki-san over Saito-san?" asked Nanaka, now looking at her mother.

They stopped at a light.

Her mother looked at her with kind eyes.

"That's not for me to tell." she said.

"Then why are you comparing them?" asked Nanaka seriously.

"I told you I'm not…" giggled Mama Suwa, "You want to compare them, I just want to be a good host, care about my child and her friends, I want you to be happy."

Nanaka blinked a few times, but didn't say a thing.

"It's ok for you to have friends, a job that you like, and do what you love," said Mama Suwa with kindness, "and it's ok for you to explore your feelings, we all did at your age, no matter if it is with Saito-san or Suzuki-san, even with this Inami-san, just make sure to be happy."

And the light turned green.

Nanaka opened her mouth like a fish out of the water, her eyes wide as plates, and she didn't even move her sight from her mother.

Was her mother implying that she knew that Nanaka was "exploring" in a same-gender relationship, and that she was actually ok about it.

Also, what did she mean by "at your age"?

Had Mama Suwa "explored" her feelings in a same-gender relationship too?

Nanaka moved her astonished head to the road ahead.

There was too much going on in a simple sentence.

"It's normal to compare, you know? But it's not my call to say who is better," Mama Suwa continued saying, "You know them better than I do…"

Nanaka bit her lips and felt her hands sweaty.

Maybe she was sweating bullets, and that was it for her plan to be clean and tidy for Shuka.

And Anchan.

They went for a few blocks in a weird and awkward silence.

Actually, Nanaka didn't know what to say. She wasn't expecting to have this "casual" talk with her mother, about her relationships, her sexuality, and her mother exploring feelings at her age.

"If I may say something…" Mama Suwa started again, Nanaka turned her head almost too fast not knowing exactly what kind of enlightenment was going to be dropped out of her wise mother's mouth

"…I feel that you looked happier before… when… Saito-san used to go to our place…"

Nanaka softened her sight.

"Don't get me wrong, Suzuki-san is a good girl, really funny and very collaborative in the kitchen, and in house chores, but, I don't know…" said Mama Suwa turning in an intersection.

"You don't know what?" asked Nanaka.

"Something is off, it felt selfish to me, but you should know better, and what makes you happy, it's just my opinion…" said Mama Suwa with kindness.

"I'm happy…" murmured Nanaka.

"Sure…but…Suzuki-san isn't the one coming…" said Mama Suwa parking with the hazards on.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you…you dressed really nice, that perfume is the expensive one, and you really showed off with your makeup and hair…" said Mama Suwa with a cocky smile.

Nanaka's cheeks became wild red.

"So, unless you dressed up for this Inami-san, which I doubt, I can bet you did it for Saito-san…" said Mama Suwa with a matter-of-fact tone, "You used to be more casual while Suzuki-san was around…"

Nanaka looked at her with sad puppy eyes, but Mama Suwa smiled at her kindly.

"I'm proud of you Nana-chan, no matter what, and your father too." said Mama Suwa, and gave her a sign for her to get out of the car.

"Thank you…" said Nanaka softly as she opened the door.

"So, at what time might I expect you back home?"

Nanaka blinked a few times and smiled kindly at her.

" I... I don't know, but not too late." said Nanaka exiting the car, but she didn't close the door.

"Ok, have fun! Say hi to Saito-san for me." said Mama Suwa with a smile.

Nanaka bowed slightly, and murmured a soft "thank you".

Then she took her time to grab the door and look inside the car.

"Anchan likes meat, chicken, and homemade Udon..." said Nanaka as she closed the door.

She saw her mother give her an astonished, but then an amused smile, nodded, and then continued her way to her grocery shopping.

Nanaka checked the time on her phone, of course, she was on time.

The ride by car was just about 7 minutes, while she was thinking of taking 20-30 minutes to come to the station.

Feeling the cold on her hands, she headed towards the station's entrance.

The station was in a very modern part of Kawagoe, which was hardly different from whatever people might see in Tokyo. Also, the mere structure of the station was big and modern as well, and even had a lot of different kinds of shops inside, from a Lawson's to a Starbucks, and even the old and dependable McDonald's.

It was like a shopping Center.

Nanaka moved inside at her own pace. On weekdays the station wasn't that busy, but at noon it kind of felt a bit more crowded. Maybe people liked to spend their lunchtime in that "frozen in time town"?

She wandered around some of the inside stores, not looking for anything in particular, but just to not be still in a certain point of the station like a creep.

If she wanted to stay still and do nothing she would have preferred to stay home looking for grains on the ceiling.

Walking helped her think.

She just couldn't help but overthink the conversation with her mother.

It seemed like Mama Suwa was more clear about what Nanaka was feeling than herself.

It wasn't because Shuka used to stay that much in Nanaka's place to be seen with her. Also, her mother didn't spend that much time in the place either. But her mother had met both girls, and maybe she could coexist better with Aina due to the Christmas days.

Shuka normally stayed one night, or just for dinner.

Either way, her mother seemed to prefer Shuka over Aina.

Why?

Was it because she seemed to be happier when Shuka was around?

How so? When she was feeling so miserable in the relationship, she was struggling with her career, with Kanan, with everything?

But also, she used to have more free time to date Shuka, to enjoy the relationship, to "explore", as her mother had dared to say.

Versus dating Aina, that was somehow an independent relationship.

She had landed a Center, she did great in the Mini Live, she had new jobs and projects.

But, her relationship seemed to be unilateral; Aina did her life, and in consequence, she needed to, and if Nanaka didn't ask for a date or something, they might never see each other (except in practice), and maybe that was enough for Aina.

Now their fame was rising like foam, so they didn't have time to spend with each other, they just couldn't enjoy the relationship because they didn't have time, and when they did, they were usually too tired to enjoy anything.

And at the first glimpse of free time, Aina disappeared.

Maybe for Aina, her free time was for herself.

But, coming from someone who used to say and shout so bluntly that she loved Nanaka, that she could do everything differently from "Shuka the brat", and was always "there" for Nanaka, but where were the actions of that now?

And here is where Mama Suwa's words made sense; it wasn't Aina coming, but Shuka.

And it wasn't because Nanaka wanted Aina to go all the way to Kawagoe, knowing that Aina was so far in Hokkaido. No.

Nanaka understood that Aina was with her family and she loved them -as she loved her parents and Grandma-, but that didn't give her any excuse to just be so untouched, so indolent, and so careless about the person that she was supposed to love.

Nanaka did the math about going to Hokkaido, but hadn't been invited.

Actually, that never happened. But yet, Nanaka had invited Aina to stay for the holidays, no matter if it was in Tokyo or Kawagoe, she was invited.

Because against all odds, Nanaka was a good host and cared.

Same as her mother, who was worried about having their friend's favorite dishes, because no matter who was coming, it had to make them feel welcome.

And Nanaka understood that it was polite and fair to invite Anchan and Shuka over, even if they might say no.

It was the right thing.

And the right thing was for Aina to have invited her, or to show at least that she cared about it.

Of course, it pissed Nanaka off.

After everything she had done for the sake of the relationship, it seemed that for Aina it had a limit.

She used to care a lot about her, being the first by her side, but once Aina had Nanaka's heart, it seemed that the spell had broken and Aina became bored.

Nanaka and closed her eyes for a bit.

That thought was just too painful.

Because a few months ago, Aina used to brag about how perfect she was for Nanaka, she used to get her, empathize enough to share her burdens. And where was that now?

It took for Aina to be physically far away to forget their relationship, meaning Korea and now Hokkaido, and it was Nanaka who had to stay like a good housewife waiting for her to return.

If Nanaka wasn't around, it seemed that Aina didn't care at all.

Nanaka opened her sad eyes.

She was now in the middle of the station facing the turnstiles, the sounds in the station becoming white noise, just a melody, it bled in her, hard to believe that she could let that go.

She felt trapped, a knot in her throat, swamped by her own feelings.

Everything felt in the darkness.

"HEY! Osuwa!" she heard, like breaking the spell.

Nanaka blinked fast a few times to come back to reality.

The busy noise of the station came back, her blurry sight could only detect the smile that made her knees feel like jelly, she couldn't help but smile back at her.

Shuka was walking fast at her to meet her.

Everything went too fast, but the last thing Nanaka knew was that Shuka had hugged her tightly, and that she felt relieved and was ecstatic by Shuka's perfume.

It was like sunlight in the middle of a storm.

"Hey..." just murmured Nanaka trying to hold to the joy

"Glad to find you so quick." another voice said, of course, that was Anchan's.

Shuka separated from Nanaka and turned to give Anchan some space in the conversation.

"Welcome." said Nanaka in a kind tone.

"Thanks for having me, please treat us well." said Anchan as she bowed politely.

"Eh? Should— I need to do that too?" mumbled Shuka sloppily, then looked at Nanaka with her cheeks bright red, "I'm sorry Osuwa, geez! Thanks for having us!" and bowed too.

Nanaka blinked but smiled kindly at the young girls.

"You don't need to, she is your girlfriend! You silly." said Anchan giggling, "Also, you were just too eager, geez, to hug here in public!"

"Oh..." murmured Nanaka, Anchan got a point.

"Ahh that's ok, we are females, we can do that!" said Shuka, who also gave Nanaka a cocky smile.

"So bold!" said Anchan.

"It's ok..." said Nanaka with her soft tone, "How was the trip?"

The young girls giggled

"Well, the lady here fell asleep!" said Shuka smugly, pointing at Anchan.

"Hey! Don't sell me out!" said Anchan, who started complaining that she had a weakness of falling asleep quickly anywhere.

"Setting that aside, everything good!" said Shuka with her smile from ear to ear, ignoring Anchan's complaints.

"Good." said Nanaka still with her nonchalant tone.

"An hour is too long to hear this lovebird talking about how much she misses you—" said Anchan in a teasing tone, mocking Shuka as she pinched her with her fingers, like tickling her.

Shuka of course, answered embarrassedly and started hitting Anchan on her shoulder for her to stop it.

Nanaka bit her lips and looked silently at this comical duo.

Anchan and Shuka sure were like brothers more than sisters. Both as the youngest members had a special chemistry that it seemed that both felt very confident about.

It made Nanaka smile kindly at them.

But more importantly, it gave her time to study both girls.

Shuka dyed some part of her hair. She had dyed the bottom back blue. She was wearing a white long-neck sweater and blue coat, of course, her jeans and boots. Like the rockstar, she used to be.

Anchan was wearing a long coat and some black pants under, nothing fancy or to point out.

"I'm sorry Osuwa, just ignore this girl, ok?" said Shuka embarrassed and trying to block Anchan out of the way.

Anchan laughed.

"I'm the one who's sorry..." said Anchan towards Nanaka, "I feel like I'm third-wheeling hard here..."

"Eh...? Anchan, don't say that." said Shuka, now more serious.

"Well, it does, I bet both of you didn't have much time for dates in December... with the Mini Live and all... and now... I'm here interrupting..." giggled Anchan.

"Oh c'mon! Don't say that!" said Shuka, then looked at Nanaka, "We love to have you here, right?"

Nanaka nodded.

"We used to hang out often Anchan, there's nothing wrong." said Nanaka with genuine feelings.

"Really? I ...I don't want to interrupt..." insisted Anchan.

"You are already here Anchan," said Nanaka giggling, "let's make the most of it, shall we?"

Anchan nodded vigorously, but Shuka's sight was lost in Nanaka.

"What?" asked Nanaka, catching Shuka's love gaze on her; both girls' cheeks became wild red.

Shuka shook her head and then smiled wide.

"Nothing, you look absolutely gorgeous today," said Shuka with a big smile, "I missed your smell too."

Nanaka felt weak everywhere.

Her heart beating fast, her knees shaking.

"I would love to say for both of you to go and get a room, but I'm here with you today, so please..." said Anchan giggling.

Both girls looked at Anchan and felt the awkwardness.

"I'm sorry." said Nanaka politely, Shuka just giggled.

"Well then, where should we go?" said Shuka with a happy tone and without warning, she took one of Nanaka's hands.

Nanaka felt her heart in her throat.

Her eyes went straight towards their held hands and then looked at Shuka with her eyes like two fried eggs.

Shuka looked at her with a bright smile, as if she was doing the most common thing ever.

"Suwawa?" called Anchan, "You ok? Where's the exit?"

Nanaka turned her sight towards Anchan slowly, still pale like a ghost, and her eyes wide in panic. Of course, Nanaka's mind was on the fact that Shuka was holding her hand.

Romantically speaking.

"There!" snapped Shuka, "Let's go towards that exit, let's go!" said Shuka as she pulled Nanaka to start walking.

"Ok..." said Anchan who just followed.

Of course, Nanaka didn't say a thing.

She was holding Shuka's hand like she used to, and was walking by her side as if nothing was happening.

Shuka's hand which she hadn't held since their "remember".

"I thought this place would look like a passage in history books." said Shuka to put some topic.

"Eh? Really?" asked Anchan.

"I googled it while ya' slept." said Shuka proudly.

"I thought you were playing games!" said Anchan outraged.

Nanak's mind was still somewhere else while they passed by the Starbucks.

"Of course, I was, but got curious..." said Shuka, then turned towards Nanaka and smiled at her

"Ya' ok?"

Nanaka looked at her, then she looked at their held hands.

"What are you doing?" murmured Nanaka with some panic in her voice.

"What?"

"Our hands..." murmured Nanaka.

"Oh, yes, I know..." Shuka murmured back, as they reached the station's exit, they were in an upper level, "Bear with me."

They stopped.

"Woo, this is nothing from what I was expecting..." said Anchan looking around.

"What were you expecting?" asked Nanaka maybe annoyed, then looked at Shuka, "This isn't good"

Shuka gave her an apologetic smile.

"Well me neither, I thought we would see the Edo Era." said Shuka.

"Time travel." quoted Anchan.

"What? I don't live under a rock you two, this is a very respectable city." said Nanaka a bit annoyed.

Kawagoe could be all historical and "little Edo", but they were still in the XXI century.

"Right!" said Shuka with a happy tone.

"I thought we were in the countryside or something like that..." said Anchan giggling, "My bad"

Nanaka deadpanned.

Glad I didn't wear a Kimono…

"Well, what do you want to do?" asked Nanaka in her bored tone.

Both girls looked surprised at her.

"What?" asked Nanaka like waiting for something, an idea, or anything.

Anchan giggled.

"Suwawa this is your hometown…"

"Ya' should know what to do here!" completed Shuka.

Nanaka blinked.

Truth was that being from Kawagoe and living there all her life, that place screamed and shouted "boredom" for her. That was why she lived in Tokyo.

"Uhm…" Nanaka entered into deep thought.

"Maybe we can have lunch?" helped Anchan.

"Yeah! It's almost time…" said Shuka checking the time on her phone, "Glad we didn't buy anything on the train…"

"Ok, we can do that," said Nanaka with her nonchalant tone.

She needed to put in her mind that Shuka and Anchan were some kind of tourists in Kawagoe, and she needed to treat them like such.

Both came from Saitama City, which was like another default Japanese city, and she would make sure that they could enjoy their time in Kawagoe and its historical sightseeing.

"Then, we took the wrong exit." said Nanaka as she turned around over her heels, to reenter the station.

In that movement, she recalled that her hand was still being held by Shuka.

"Great, this was because Shuka wanted to lead…" said Anchan mockingly while walking through the station once again.

"Hey! That's not fair!" complained Shuka, somehow ignoring the fact that they were still holding hands.

Nanaka moved with them, listening to all their nonsense, mostly because she was being dragged by Shuka's hand.

So warm. Cozy. And secure.

Shuka had strong arms, a dependable hand to grab, and because of their only 7 cm height difference, her hugs felt safe.

And that was a surprise for Nanaka to realize, because not long ago, Shuka had just been a brat, who used to throw tantrums almost every time, and it was Nanaka who had to guide everything.

Maybe that time apart had indeed helped Shuka mature a bit?

They left the station through the East exit to face the bus stop.

Nanaka couldn't help but feel annoyed about the comments from her young fellow teammates; of course, they pointed out all the branded stores, the fact that the station was kind of a shopping center, and that there was an Atré store just in front.

Nanaka once again reminded them that Kawagoe was a city like any other city in Japan, with the exception of some districts that were frozen in time. But of course, the young girls just giggled and mocked her more.

They took Bus number 4, and because they were heading towards the main attraction of the city, the bus was somehow a little bit crowded. Anchan was able to catch a seat, but the "couple" had to stand a bit far from her.

As the bus started, Nanaka recalled that she was still holding hands with Shuka and did an abrupt movement to get free; her hand was all sweaty and a bit cramped. Of course, the movement didn't go unnoticed by Shuka.

"You ok?" murmured Shuka.

"No, I'm not!" said Nanaka in a whisper, clearly annoyed by the situation.

She was with Aina, wanting to commit to missing Aina, but ONCE AGAIN, Shuka was there when Aina wasn't, revolutionizing her hormones.

It was as if Shuka knew that Aina was far and unreachable to come aiming her guns and charms over her.

And so bluntly hugging her, grabbing her hand as if they had never broken up.

So she didn't know what pissed her off more, Aina missing, Shuka being lovely, or herself for being weak.

"What? Why?" asked Shuka trying to whisper as well, remembering that in public transportation speaking was kind of forbidden.

"What the hell are you doing Shuka?" asked Nanaka, still whispering and looking at her.

Shuka looked so adorable that it was painful for her heart.

"I'm enjoying the ride?" answered Shuka not quite convincingly.

"Not that, Shuka, you just can't hold my hand like that..."

"Eh? Why not?"

"Because you know! We are not together!" said Nanaka with a knot in her throat.

"I know, but Anchan doesn't know that..." said Shuka with conviction.

"Are you taking advantage of that?"

Shuka smiled wide.

Nanaka blinked a few times and then took a deep breath, she looked somewhere else.

Unbelievable...

"Don't get mad." said Shuka looking out the windows as well.

"I am."

"I know, but please don't..."

"You are not playing fair..."

"Maybe, but I'm happy," said Shuka shyly.

"You are being selfish..."

"Yes, I am." said Shuka with no hesitation.

Nanaka bit her lips.

Maybe there was no use in scolding Shuka because she wasn't acting like a child, actually, she was kind of determined on what she wanted and what she was doing.

"I wanted to see you," said Shuka, her eyes still on the sight out of the window, and her whispering voice. "I miss you, I miss us, going out, with Anchan and all..."

Nanaka didn't say a thing, because even if she liked Shuka's company, her heart was determined on Aina's side.

"Anchan was an excuse to come too, because I knew that you wouldn't have let me come to see you, as well, I can't ask you to go to my place, and because of Anchan being here, is that we need to act, as a couple..." said Shuka with a serious whisper.

Nanaka felt annoyed.

Because Shuka was manipulating their rules.

"You know that this isn't fair at all..." said Nanaka with a serious tone, "We agreed to something Shuka, you just can't come here and spring this trap on me because you miss me..."

"You don't miss me at all?" asked Shuka with some tones of sadness.

Nanaka turned her face towards Shuka, both locked faces.

Both girls were devouring each other's gazes. Shuka trying to find answers in Nanaka's eyes, as Nanaka tried to find her hope in Shuka's eyes.

She studied her face, her lips that dazed her just looking at them, the cute moles in her cheek and lips, that smile, the kindness, and the calm that being by Shuka's side gave her.

Then she recalled what her mother had said, that she used to be happier when Shuka was around. And then again, How?

With Shuka everything was kind of difficult, but with Aina, at least at the beginning, it was easy.

Yes, the beginning, when Aina had an interest in her. Now it was difficult to even communicate.

But, there was a strong reason why Shuka and her weren't together anymore.

She just couldn't let her moral scale interfer once again.

When you're taught through feelings...

Nanaka took a deep breath and with determination said;

"That isn't a conversation for a Bus ride," then looked outside, "Please, don't hold my hand, we are not together, and we might make Anchan uncomfortable with our behavior, let's enjoy the day as friends, because that's what we are."

"Oh…" said Shuka, who nodded softly, and maybe sadly, "right..." and she looked outside too.

The longest 8 minute ride ever.

Nanaka took them to the Warehouse District.

Here was where the place had been frozen in time with its old and romantic "Edo" vibe.

In the good old days, Kawagoe was an important commercial town, supplying resources to Edo -Now called Tokyo-. Thanks to the thriving trade, many merchants grew wealthy enough to build not only their warehouses, but also their stores in the Kurazukuri style, more so than it was usual in other towns.

Somehow some of the buildings still survived, mostly housing shops and restaurants that could be found along the main Kurazukuri Street, which stretches a few hundred meters long.

Anchan and Shuka opened their mouths wide.

Nanaka just deadpanned not knowing if they were joking or if they were actually amazed by it, but for sure it was for their surprise, because not only did the buildings seem to be stuck in time, but people were actually wearing Kimonos.

The place demanded to even dress for the occasion.

They even joked about how that place fitted Nanaka SO WELL, because of her hobbies and how she reminded them of such a refined lady from "Edo". They mocked her again about why she wasn't wearing a kimono as well, and Anchan quoted that they would just look like some poor peasants by her side.

Shuka took advantage of the comment by praising Nanaka's good look that day, that of course, made Nanaka blush hard, and glare at her.

Even if she liked Shuka's flirting, that wasn't appropriate.

They started walking around the place; Shuka as the kid she used to be, was everywhere. Moving from one place to another, running with Anchan from one store to another, and amazed by all the sweet potatoes she could find, clearly, her gloomy mood changed completely.

And maybe it was for the better, Shuka wasn't someone who would stay "gloomy" or in a bad mood for too long, and being there looking at stores, food, and souvenirs, sure changed her behavior. And as for Nanaka, she liked it better that way.

She was just glad to see her happy, laughing and joking with Anchan, or dragging her from one place to another, sharing selfies, asking her opinion about stuff, and buying gifts for her family.

They looked like cute little sisters, and Nanaka the babysitter, because while they were walking and touring, Shuka stopped by in Koedo Osatsuan, which was a very famous sweet potato kiosk, and whinnied that she really, but really, needed a bucket of potatoes, and Nanaka was the adult scolding her for her to wait, because if she ate those then she wouldn't be hungry for lunch.

But Anchan went and treated her to a bucket of it anyway.

Nanaka tried to control her impulses as "the older" and the local one, even if those were Shuka and Anchan who they were speaking off, because they acted like kids and tourists at the same time, even if they were from just a few kilometers away, at the end of the day they were from the same prefecture, but there was something in the streets and the ambiance that made them even take some pictures of a Starbucks.

To be fair, it was a very pretty "Edo Starbucks."

So, according to that kind of behavior, Nanaka had to guide her little sisters.

They stopped a few more stores away to find a good place for lunch. In Nanaka's opinion a very complete Menu of what Kawagoe and the Nishi-ku zone could offer could only be found in "Torisei", but mostly because Anchan liked chicken, and that place served a very good "Kamameshi", which was rice in an iron pot called "Kama", that of course, Nanaka didn't like, because it was rice - unless her mother made it-, but her local friends said it was good.

Lunchtime was very nice.

Nanaka and Shuka totally forgot their encounter back on the bus and just enjoyed the moment, the place, and the food.

It was good to have a nice meal without overthinking everything or trying to solve something, which was mostly the tonic with Aina; deep and intense conversation around food. No matter which kind.

This time was just to enjoy with friends without any burdens. Sitting with Anchan there felt almost like back when Shuka and Nanaka were dating, because now Nanaka sat opposite Shuka, leaving the seat right next to Anchan and giving them more space to fool around.

Of course, there wasn't any flirting, one, because maybe Shuka understood the command to stop it, or two, she was just too busy teasing Anchan with the fried chicken, same as what she did with the potato back then in Numazu's Matsuri.

So far on the day, the girls seemed to be having fun, and that was what mattered to Nanaka the most.

After lunch and almost on cue, they left the restaurant to hear the bells of "Toki no Kane", the iconic 1600 bell tower of Kawagoe, which sacredly rings its bells' every day, 4 times a day, and at 15:00 hrs it is it 3 time to ring.

And the girls were just there to appreciate it.

"This is luck!" said Shuka stopping and recording on her phone.

"Luck?" repeated Nanaka.

"I think this whole day has been a lucky one," said Anchan with a big smile, "I'm glad we came! Right Yu-chan?"

Nanaka blinked a few times and looked at Shuka who was still amazed by the bell tower. Then looked at Anchan and raised an eyebrow.

Why is she calling her by her name...?

Are they close enough for that?

Even I didn't call her that...

"Yes yes, good that we came..." said Shuka, recovering her good mood and looking for Anchan.

"So, what should we do now?" asked Anchan interrupting Nanaka's thoughts; they locked sights.

"I don't know, are you in the mood to continue sightseeing?" asked Nanaka maybe a bit annoyed, not sure why.

"Well, we are doing a tour with a local..." stated Anchan.

"...that means that we can get to see what's not in the guide books" finished Shuka with a bright smile.

"Seriously you two just spend too much time together..." said Nanaka in her monotone, and started walking towards the Main Street.

"Eh?... what—" started Anchan.

"Gave you that idea?" finished Shuka.

Then both giggled.

"Because you two just kept finishing each other sentences..." said Nanaka in her nonchalant tone.

"Oh. Well... that's—" started Shuka this time.

"Because we had a lot of time with Second Years and CYaRon! We see each other almost every day!" finished Anchan.

"Also we lived in the same city, we used to take the same train..." continued Shuka.

"Doesn't that happen with Komiya-san too?" asked Anchan towards Nanaka.

Nanaka blinked a few times and then answered.

"Not really, Arisa and I aren't exactly the same kind of friends as you two." said Nanaka.

"We are all friends in Aqours!" said Anchan quickly.

"We are, but there are some shades of it." said Nanaka looking at Anchan, then looked at Shuka.

Shuka gave her a sad smile, of course, at some point Shuka learned how difficult it was for Nanaka to share so much space with Arisa Komiya, and how her career and role in the Project were being jeopardized by her. So of course, her relationship wasn't like theirs.

"That...that shouldn't be happening." said Anchan with conviction.

"Anchan, you being the leader doesn't mean you need to fix everyone," said Nanaka nonchalantly, reaching the corner, "we are good, we work together, we respect each other, and that's ok."

"You sure?—" Anchan was asking when Shuka interrupted abruptly.

"OH! THIS CAN'T BE!" shouted Shuka.

"What?" asked Nanaka and Anchan at the same time.

"How cool are you in this city, Suwawa, that there's a store called 'Sawawa', and just sells ice cream, sweets, and green tea!?" asked Shuka excitedly pointing at the store across the road.

Nanaka blinked a few times and fixed her eyes on the sidewalk in front of her.

"Oh my God! That's true! Suwawa, you are famous! And you haven't even recorded your Center yet!" quoted Anchan, amazed.

Nanaka sighed.

"Don't be silly, that store has more years than my grandma, and its specialty is Matcha, not ice cream, everything you can find inside is made from green tea," said Nanaka not amused at all, "and, I believe there's another one in Narita, so no... this is not a Kawagoe exclusive." then she giggled.

"Well! Do you want to go?" asked Shuka with a happy grin.

"This town shouts more and more 'Suwawa', right?" asked Anchan, and then dared cross the street towards the store.

"Maybe you can have your ice cream a day there, my treat!" offered Shuka.

Nanaka looked at her and shook her head.

"I can't accept that," said Nanaka with a dry tone, "besides, I know a better place for it."

"I don't mind... you can pick, and I'll pay..." said Shuka with confidence.

"Why? I don't need you to treat me..."

"Ya' treated us to lunch Suwawa, that's not fair..." said Shuka looking at Nanaka with a serious face, "even if you are the oldest among us, we all have jobs, we all should pay for the meal right?"

"HEY C'MON! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING?!" shouted Anchan from the store's entrance on the other side of the road.

"COMING!" Shuka shouted back, then looked at Nanaka and said, "I want to treat you to something, now I have more income, it's not an issue now."

And Shuka ran to meet Anchan, then disappeared into the store.

No, what was an issue was that it wasn't right for Shuka to treat her.

Not even because they were supposed to be friends. It felt wrong.

Maybe it was too early for Nanaka to feel her as a friend, like a normal friend.

Not some time ago, they were working like that, but the sexual tension was just too strong, and everything went to the garbage.

Her morals, her commitment, her self love, and the love she felt for Aina.

Even if they were at that moment in an "open relationship", Nanaka's heart didn't work that way and it felt wrong.

Aina didn't deserve that.

Meaning that Nanaka needed to be strong, and fight against Shuka's charms.

Nanaka walked towards the store and saw Shuka and Anchan moving from one side to the other, commenting about whatever the store had to offer, and both girls with an impulse that Nanaka didn't know they had, were filling a green basket with more green stuff.

Nanaka didn't know that Shuka could be a Matcha lover, or Anchan by all means; but one thing was clear, both girls looked happy.

Nanaka froze in the entrance of the store with her eyes wide and her mind blank.

Suddenly the white noise invaded her.

Not sure why, but somehow she felt a little bit out of air.

She could see how both girls were laughing, talking, and making jokes with each other, maybe they didn't even notice that Nanaka was there, inside, just watching. And maybe that had been the tonic all day; they went happily around, while Nanaka just babysat them.

She felt left out.

Shuka seemed happy.

She couldn't help but feel sad.

"Excuse me?" she heard by her side.

Nanaka snapped with surprise, indeed, her mind started to cloud, she looked to her right; the nice face of the saleswoman entered her line of vision.

"Do you need any help?" asked the nice girl.

Nanaka blinked a few times, remembering what she was doing there, then looked to her front, Anchan and Shuka looked back at her with confused faces, then she looked back at the saleswoman.

"No, I... I came with them, I'm good..." said Nanaka softly.

The nice girl bowed and made a sign with her arm for her to come inside and not stand in the entrance like a mortified statue.

Nanaka nodded and became paler than a ghost, sweating cold.

"You ok Osuwa?" asked Shuka with concern.

"Do you need anything?" suggested Anchan, "Maybe you need sugar?"

"She hasn't eaten her ice cream a day," said Shuka with a joking tone, then looked at Anchan, "maybe she needs it now."

"Ok, here..." said Anchan looking to all sides of the store, "here they sell Matcha ice cream, would that do the job?"

Nanaka blinked fast, trying to process everything that was happening; Anchan and Shuka were worried as hell, working together in a very strange dynamic.

She somehow started to hear that white noise again, Anchan's lips moving, Shuka's eyes looking everywhere, and everything feeling out of her control.

Like a panic attack.

Normally, Nanaka with her calm and nonchalant attitude, could always analyze the situations, her thoughts, her feelings, and know how to react. Even if people outside could feel that she might be sleeping with her eyes open.

This time Nanaka felt triggered by something that she just couldn't understand, and made her lose her perspective.

There was a new feeling that she just couldn't put into words.

So, when the human body finds itself in stress, it puts the white sound on.

And she needed to take that control back.

"Stop."said Nanaka in a soft but strong tone.

Both girls stopped chit chatting and moving, to look at her with concern.

"I'm good," said Nanaka, now listening to the ambiance and looking at both young girls, "I'm ok, are you two done? We need to keep moving..."

"What? Ya' want to continue—" started Shuka.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to faint again!" concluded Anchan.

Nanaka looked at Anchan, then at Shuka who just opened her eyes wide, and then looked at Nanaka with sad eyes.

Somehow that paused the argument, and made Nanaka think more clearly.

Because of the memories.

And how she needed to be in control. Always.

Nanaka looked at Shuka with a serious gaze, then turned to Anchan.

"I'm not going to faint..." said Nanaka strongly, "I can't faint, and I won't faint now, and never...again."

Her last word was said while looking at Shuka.

Shuka's smile faded slowly because she understood perfectly that Nanaka had never actually fainted, that she had to lie to the Chief and the members for the sake of Shuka's honor, and to keep the Unit together.

In other words, Nanaka had to sacrifice for the sake of the Unit, to be seen as someone weak and troublesome enough to postpone a whole trip to Numazu and everything that entailed, because Shuka was a coward.

And Nanaka was clear that something like that wasn't going to happen again.

Anchan nodded.

"Ok, I believe you." she said, then looked at Shuka, "Are we ready then?"

"Oh, yes—yes we are good," said Shuka unsettled.

Anchan moved towards the cashier and started paying for her stuff.

"I didn't know you were a Matcha lover." said Nanaka in a low tone.

"I'm not, I'm buying for my family..." said Shuka with a sad tone.

"Uhm," hummed Nanaka, because that made total sense.

"Osuwa," called Shuka still in her sad tone, both locked gazes, "I'm really sorry..."

Nanaka raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"About what?"

"For us breaking up...and how it was done..." said Shuka softly and almost like a whisper, remembering that Anchan was close.

"I know..." said Nanaka with a sad tone.

"HEY! Yu-chan, I'm not treating your gifts!" said Anchan looking back but with a smile.

Shuka opened her mouth in "o" shape and moved towards the cashier to pay for her own stuff.

Once again, the sight of Anchan and Shuka fooling with the cashier, messing with the bags, and laughing loud.

When you are taught through feelings...

They can be really painful.

The three girls left the "Sawawa Store", two of them smiling, and one concerned.

"Ok, now what?" asked Shuka happily and looking at Nanaka.

"Yes, what are we gonna do now?" asked Anchan eagerly.

Nanaka looked at both girls with her best "Suwa face".

Go home, and leave me alone...

"Maybe we need to find that ice cream," said Shuka looking at Anchan, then looked at Nanaka, "ya' said that there was a better place for that."

"Yes, there is..." said Nanaka softly.

"OK! Take us there!" snapped Anchan and grabbed Nanaka's arm.

"Oh..." said Nanaka and Shuka from the abrupt movement.

"What? Suwawa, you look really gloomy! You need to cheer up!" said Anchan and started dragging Nanaka down the street, Shuka just followed along.

"What are you—talking..." tried Nanaka.

"I agree with Anchan!" quoted Shuka by their side.

"So, where are we heading...? Is this the right direction?!" asked Anchan speeding up.

"Maybe we need to find that ice cream," said Shuka looking at Anchan, then looked at Nanaka, "ya' said that there was a better place for that."

"Yes, there is..." said Nanaka softly.

Nanaka looked towards the buildings and could recognize their path on the map.

"Yes, yes, we are on the right path..." said Nanaka, now a bit warmed up.

"OK!" said Anchan and started jogging.

"Hey—-wait...!"

Shuka sped up and laughed about it.

They kept jogging in that direction turning left in front of Monzen Yokocho, then they kept straight until they reached a big street where there was an Unagi restaurant, they turned right, and went down that street a few blocks, where Nanaka needed to stop abruptly to take a breath. Between Anchan's concerns and Shuka wanting to enter almost every store, Nanaka was able to catch her breath right in front of a coffee shop called Hamachan where Nanaka just gasped a "here... we made it..."

Both young girls looked at the coffee shop, and then at Nanaka that was drying her sweat. They made a nice and good 3 minutes walk into a not so fun 1.5 minute jog while being dragged.

But the two young girls looked a bit disappointed; maybe because the old buildings were kind of gone, and the coffee shop looked... so simple. Actually, it didn't look like one, except for the signs on its front.

It was a 2 floor house, with a mixed architecture of the old Kurazukuri style, with a modern one. And in its front, there was a bright red bench.

The bench was something typical to enjoy the sweet treats from the store while in the street. Almost all Sweets stores had one, but this was a particular modern bright red bench, that of course, was very attractive for tourists.

"Wait, so—" started Anchan looking at the store.

"This is where the good ice cream is?" finished Shuka.

"Eh? I don't know, I don't know if they even have ice cream..." said Nanaka nonchalantly.

"What?" asked Anchan looking at Nanaka.

"I prefer the Starbucks on the other street!" complained Shuka.

"That's a pretty nice building..." said Nanaka now with a teasing tone.

"Then?" asked Anchan.

"Oh... I didn't bring you to this coffee shop..." said Nanaka slowly, then turned around, "Here is where I wanted to go..."

She said and pointed out.

Shuka and Anchan turned around with Nanaka and opened their eyes in awe.

Behind them, there was an alley.

But not any alley.

A Candy one.

"No way..." murmured Anchan.

"No freaking way!" snapped Shuka.

"It's 'Kashiya Yokoho', better known as 'Candy Alley'." said Nanaka now with a genuine smile, and perfect English pronunciation.

"This place is SO like you.." murmured Shuka.

"I agree..." said Anchan, "All Kawagoe screams your name Suwawa..."

"That's not true, but I like this alley a lot.." said Nanaka now with a kind voice, and started walking into the alley, maybe with her happiness stabilized.

The Candy Alley was a little shopping street adjacent to the Warehouse District. It was an alley filled with Confectionery in Kurazukuri style stores including penny candy, stores lined both sides. It was lined by stores selling traditional Japanese sweets and cakes, which gave the alley its name. Among the treats sold were various candies, rice crackers, karinto (sugar-coated, deep-fried cookies), ice cream, and cakes made of red bean paste and sweet potato. Also available were small toys and accessories which made nice souvenirs to take home.

Of course, it was like going back in time once again.

Not only because of the Edo architecture, but because of all the candies, sweets, and cakes.

It was like going back to childhood.

It was for Nanaka, but according to what she could see on Anchan and Shuka, it was for them too.

They wanted anything and everything. Going from one side to another and buying things of course. Maybe they spent their whole salary on just that trip, but guessing by the young girls' faces, it was worth it.

And that's how happiness should look.

Nanaka finally let go of her previous bitterness, to start enjoying spending time with Shuka and Anchan.

And that was everything, because it really reminded her of times when she could go out with them and enjoy without doubting her actions, or Shuka's, because at that time the only feeling was joy, and that was what she felt...

Joy.

Almost at the end of the alley, there was Nanaka's ice cream a day store; UMON.

Of course, it wasn't fancy, but its front had a big purple ice cream and big purple flags, and that was enough for Anchan and Shuka to understand why it was Nanaka's choice.

Ice creams in Japan weren't that fancy and exaggerated as in western countries, on the contrary, it was very common to serve typical soft serve machine ice cream that looked like a normal McDonald's cone. But for Nanaka it was tasty and good, and she was just happy to share it by seating beside Anchan and Shuka on some stall outside of the store, while Anchan munched some Dorayaki, and Shuka just kept stuffing herself with more sweet potatoes.

After spending a few hours on the Candy Alley, Nanaka sentenced that they should go to one last place, and that was the Hikawa Shrine.

Maybe for Shuka and Anchan the sightseeing at that point of the day was a bit too much, but if Suwa Nanaka showed deep interest in something, or somewhere, then it should be worth it.

So, against everything, Nanaka suggested a 12 minute walk to the Shrine.

That walk was very much appreciated to keep seeing the architecture, and to continue seeing things that might one day be extinguished by time, but they were still there for them to appreciate.

Also to chitchat a bit more with Anchan and her New Years' resolutions.

On the walk, Shuka tried a few times to hold Nanaka's hand, but she slyly avoided it and gave her some glances for her to stop.

But between giggles and jokes, Nanaka just determined that Shuka was still a kid. A sweet one that still melted her heart, but a kid in the end.

On the other hand, Anchan was being serious while talking about her New Year's resolutions, her role as Chika and the weight of having the leadership in Aqours, and how she felt responsible for each one of them…

"That's why I was so afraid for you earlier; I don't want you to faint again…" said Anchan with concern, "I'm worried about it, even if you said that that won't happen again, I can't tolerate that any of us is having a hard time…"

Nanaka raised her eyebrows in sadness, while Shuka tried once again to hold her hand, and one more time she avoided it.

"Anchan, Sweetie, you shouldn't worry…" said Nanaka, giving another glance to Shuka to stop it, "It was a very crucial moment, a one-hit-wonder, that's not going to happen again…"

Shuka pouted.

"Sweetie…?" murmured Shuka a bit annoyed, of course, Nanaka ignored her.

"I'm stronger, I'm better now…" said Nanaka.

"I…I know you are…but if… if you need something…anything! Please let me know!" insisted Anchan.

"I think you are worrying too much, I know you are the Leader, but you need to stop," said Nanaka, "If the Lead Teacher was here she might scold you." giggled Nanaka.

Anchan pouted cutely, it melted Nanaka's heart.

"I'm fine Anchan, I know I've been supported by all." said Nanaka, and Shuka just grabbed her arm clinging to her.

"I got her Anchan! Ya' don't need to worry!" snapped Shuka.

Nanaka looked at her with a prominent frown between her eyes.

What was this?

Shuka claiming her property?

"I… I know… sorry," said Anchan with a shy smile.

Nanaka, a bit annoyed by Shuka's koala attitude, kept talking to Anchan.

"Your duty is to push us further, not to be a worrywart if one of us needs any help, we can ask… I bet that the one that needs more help is Rikako…you should be worried for her."

"Oh." Snapped both young girls.

"Yes, her… I'm confident that I can master the songs for the First Live, I have time… I work hard, but I'm afraid for Rikako the most…" said Nanaka, now stopping at the entrance of the Shrine.

"Yeah, the freaking Piano, right?" asked Shuka bitterly.

"Yes." said Nanaka, then both looked at Anchan, who was looking at her shoes.

The silence was only replaced by the sound of the cold wind passing by, and the leaves flying around.

Anchan looked up and locked her gaze on the entrance of the Shrine, and then spoke;

"You have a good heart Suwawa…" said Anchan softly, Nanaka raised her eyebrows in surprise, she could feel Shuka tightening the embrace on her arm.

"We all have a lot of pressure… and we all are working really hard, I can't let you down, them down…" then looked at Nanaka, her eyes moved a bit to lock them on Shuka who was on Nanaka's other side, "Sometimes… we did some things without even thinking…because we are all immature, and we feel that we can conquer the world and reach our goals, we… we are reckless, and with our actions… we… we hurt people…"

Anchan's voice was soft and had hints of sadness, then her eyes met Nanaka's.

Nanaka gave her a confused look, she wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"I'm sorry Suwawa, I'm a worrywart…" said Anchan, and gave her a sad smile, "I care about Aqours, and I want us to be better, to grow, to move further and reach all of our goals… and we need to rely on each other…" she said, and bit her lower lip, "I'm afraid that if I push you all, it's my responsibility to be a worrywart and be over all of you as well."

Nanaka blinked.

She felt that Anchan was talking about two different things, and for two different interlocutors.

"Are ya' saying that Rikyako was a fool to suggest playing the piano?" asked Shuka, confused.

Anchan looked at Shuka with confusion, then she opened her eyes wide in concern.

Nanaka just looked at her, waiting for some resolution of her speech.

Then Anchan giggled.

"Yeah, right… we wanting to be better, decided to make a stupid decision like wanting to play the piano without knowing how…" said Anchan in a tired tone.

Shuka laughed.

"And that is hurting us?" asked Nanaka trying to understand.

"Well it does, to me, I'm worried…" said Anchan.

Nanaka hummed.

Yes, it was risky, Rikako was stressed out, but she had asked for it, and she was working to succeed.

She could have refused to do it, the same way Nanaka refused to do the big leapfrog.

Was it something to be worried about? Maybe. But at the point of hurting Nanaka's judgment or sleep? No.

Nanaka used to get busy with her worries, if it was out of her reach, like a stressed-out Rikako, it wasn't her concern anymore.

"I believe that Production was gonna ask her to play it anyway…" said Shuka carelessly, "same thing they did with the leapfrog, only that this time there wasn't someone who could replace her, because 'Riko-chan' is the one who's playing the piano."

Nanaka and Anchan were looking at each other, maybe ignoring Shuka's comment completely. There was something in Anchan's eyes and what she said that didn't make sense.

Anchan looked sad, or maybe guilty.

"I… Suwawa…" started Anchan with a shy voice, "...I'm sorry…"

Nanaka frowned.

Then Anchan moved her eyes to her side, a clear sign of guilt.

"Why don't we go inside?! What are we doing here?" said Shuka who started dragging Nanaka into the Shrine, "C'mon Osuwa, show us the place!"

Nanaka complained for a few seconds, but then kept moving with Shuka while dragging her around. Nanaka looked back at Anchan.

She was standing in the Shrine entrance watching them, with a sad look.

"Anchan…" murmured Nanaka, not understanding, then she felt Shuka finally holding her hand, it made Nanaka look at her.

"What's going on? What is with her?" asked Nanaka to Shuka.

"She is just worried Osuwa," said Shuka with a nervous smile, "The pressure of being a leader is taking a toll on her…the First Live, and expectations."

Nanaka frowned because even if that was true, it felt weird.

Nanaka turned back and saw Anchan jogging to reach them while shouting.

"HEY, wait for me!"

"You sure she is ok?" asked Nanaka.

Both of them stopped and locked their gazes.

"Trust me, she is fine." said Shuka, then both looked at Anchan who reached them panting.

"Geez!" complained Anchan.

"You ok? You're not in good shape!" Mocked Shuka, "You ate too many Dorayakis!"

"I...I wasn't prepared for a jog!" panted Anchan.

"You ok?" asked Nanaka, now with real concern.

Anchan looked at her at first with a sad gaze, and then gave her a shy smile.

"Yes...yes, sorry… I, just got overwhelmed—" said Anchan softly.

"Ya' right, this place is amazing… we should enjoy it! We are on vacation Anchan! Stop thinking about work!" interrupted Shuka and started walking, still holding onto Nanaka's arm.

Nanaka gave Anchan a concerned look who just nodded and smiled, maybe telling her that everything was good and they should move from the issue.

So, Nanaka nodded too.

But, it was weird, because Shuka was always thinking about work, even on her days off, so, the nerve to tell Anchan that.

If Anchan wanted to tell her something, she should.

Period.

It wasn't long for them to set the issue aside and concentrate on what was going on in the Shrine.

Hikawa Shrine was a 1.500-year-old sanctuary that was known for granting wishes related to matters of the heart. The special matchmaking charm that was sold in the shrine had the shape of a pencil. It was said that the shorter the pencil became, the closer you would come to your destined partner.

The Shrine had been historically worshiped for "matrimonial happiness", "happiness in the family" and the "deity of matchmaking", which was really weird to bring Shuka in if Nanaka thought about it.

But the Shrine was big and beautiful, with more to see than a typical Shrine in Tokyo, meaning that it had some charm points that made it special, not only in the touristic sense, but also spiritually.

First, the bright orange Torii gates that reached 15 meters tall, maybe being the largest wooden Torii gate in Japan. Or sending off Dolls in the small river that crossed the Shrine grounds, in order to cleanse one's sins.

Anchan and Shuka tried this, but did not succeed that much.
Shuka teased Anchan about being a terrible sinner, but Anchan blamed her too.

Aside from the main shrine and the worship hall, there were many smaller shrines and holy trees to see around; the girls tried to get blessed and prayed for their success, health, and for Aqours being loved in almost all of them.

Shuka and Anchan took some special papers from the office to get the seal stamp of the Shrine. Of course, Nanaka already had it.

Then they went to the back of the Shrine where there were 2 massive Zelkova trees that were said to be 600 years old. The activity there was to walk through the trees doing a number 8 to gain spiritual power or something of the sort. Of course, Shuka and Anchan did it, while Nanaka just giggled about them.

She said that if they were tourists, they had to have all the "tourist experiences", even if that meant doing some silly walks around some ancient trees.

When in Rome, do as Romans do.

They bought some emas and wrote their wishes on them, to finally place them in the tunnel of emas.

They finished the Shrine visit, of course, going to the charms store.

Nanaka waited a bit far from the store, she was laying her back on the wooden bench of the stage of the Shrine, truth was that she didn't want a charm, and on that matter, she had almost all of them. But Anchan and Shuka insisted on buying one or two as souvenirs for their families.

It reminded Nanaka that her mother was prepared for receiving them back at home.

It made her think if that was appropriate.

Her thing with Aina was at that moment a bit shady; mostly because of the lack of communication, but she couldn't say they were on bad terms. Maybe Aina was really busy with her family and that was a good thing.

Aina had once told her that she didn't need to be so dependent and to work on her "lonely issue", Aina worked that way, maybe too independent for Nanaka's heart.

But having Shuka and Anchan over indeed was a punch of fresh and good air. If she had to be honest, she hadn't missed Aina at all that day, she was just too happy having fun with the younger girls that she hadn't even checked her phone if Aina had dared to say something.

Guided by that thought, Nanaka took her phone out of her coat and checked her messages; of course, she had some from friends, work, her mother asking how everything was, and then, yes, Aina saying good day for her too.

It was pointless.

But that was how Aina worked.

Nanaka put her phone away in her coat once again when she heard Shuka coming back from the Charm Store.

That smile, her hair, the rock star vibe, yes, it still melted her heart.

"How did it go?" asked Nanaka with kindness.

"Good, I bought charms for all the family, they will be happy..." said Shuka showing Nanaka a small bag with the charms inside.

"I'm glad," said Nanaka nonchalantly.

Shuka stood by her side, both staring Anchan still in the store trying to decide on what the hell to buy.

"Maybe she needs some advice?" asked Nanaka.

"She will be fine, the nice lady from the store can guide her..." said Shuka in a serious tone.

Nanaka blinked a few times.

It was starting to get dark, and of course, the cold weather started to get through her bones. It only reminded her that the day was coming to an end, and Shuka might have to go home.

"My mom said 'Hi' to you..." said Nanaka in her boring tone.

"OH! She still remembers me?" asked Shuka with a happy tone.

"Of course she does." said Nanaka and locked her gaze on Shuka; she gave her a bright smile.

It reminded Nanaka of her mother's words, of how Shuka was there and not Aina.

In a perfect world, Aina was who was supposed to be there, to travel from her town to see her...

Not Shuka. The Ex.

"Well, must be weird for her, to not see me anymore..." said Shuka with a sad tone.

"Well, same as your mother I guess..." said Nanaka trying to play it cool, "Is she prepared if you want to stay here tonight..."

"Eh? Really?" asked Shuka surprised, then looked at Anchan in the Charm store, "What about Anchan?"

Nanaka raised one eyebrow.

"What about her? She can go too... of course!" said Nanaka, almost saying "doh".

"Oh... okey..." said Shuka sad.

"You think I would invite you and not her?" asked Nanaka, almost amused.

"No... well, yes... I don't know... last time we stayed together—"

"Don't say it." scolded Nanaka.

Both paused and looked at each other.

"That night never happened..." said Nanaka, "And my family is here, I wouldn't invite you over for 'that'."

"Got it..." said Shuka nodding, then looked for something in the little bag of charms and took out a pencil.

Nanaka opened her eyes wide.

Those special matchmaking love charms.

Nanaka looked at her, her eyes still wide.

"Suwa-san, come back to me." said Shuka seriously and lovingly, offering the pencil.

Nanaka's eyes went from the pencil to Shuka's face, then the pencil again.

She blinked a few times.

Shuka was asking her back while using a matchmaking love charm.

It felt surreal.

"What?" asked Nanaka, still incredulous.

"I want you back..." repeated Shuka, seriously and with conviction.

Nanaka looked at her, paler than a ghost.

"I know I... I was a fool, I was a brat, but I've grown up... I'm better... I can do it! This time, for real!" she continued, Nanaka just blinked.

"What?" asked Nanaka again, not quite understanding.

"Please don't make me ask again..." said Shuka shyly, scratching her neck nervously.

Nanaka blinked again, but this time with hints of sadness.

"Why?" asked Nanaka.

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking me this? Is it because you want sex? I'm not a sex buddy..." said Nanaka annoyed.

"What?! No! Nothing like that, it's because I miss you so much...I love you," said Shuka with sadness, "and I think it's enough..."

"Enough?"

"Yes, enough, we have been apart enough time now, we grew up, and I feel we can do much better now..." said Shuka with conviction, smiling, and continued offering the pencil.

Nanaka frowned.

"This is not about that, Shuka, we broke up, for good; it wasn't a break or a time out to see if you could survive without me, you have learned nothing then." said Nanaka with a strong tone.

"Eh? But... Suwawa, be fair... you still love me, isn't that enough?" asked Shuka, sad and really trying to hold her shit together as she spoke like a normal person and not with her common slang.

To be fair?

Was Shuka being fair?

She never was, because of her charms, her presence, her everything, it still made her feel butterflies everywhere, and that wasn't fair. She was trying to make her relationship with Aina work, to have a goddamn label, and to move forward, not backwards with Shuka.

Even if she loved her.

Even if she could see some changes.

Even if Shuka was now a little bit more mature.

Even if they missed, cared, and loved each other.

Sometimes love is not enough.

She just couldn't be back with her, she was with Aina.

But no one -besides Arisa Komiya- knew.

The rest of Aqours might buy the lie of them as a couple once again.

"Sometimes love isn't enough..." said Nanaka softly.

Shuka stopped offering the pencil and gave her a sad face, she was being rejected once again.

"I'm sorry Shuka, but I can't go back with you."

"Why? You don't miss me? You don't love—"

"It's not about love, I told you, we have been apart four months, that's nothing, we are still healing, I'm focusing on my career, I'm good." said Nanaka firmly, maybe hearing Shuka's heart starting to crash, and almost trying to convince herself that everything with Aina was good.

"Also..." continued Nanaka, now looking at the pencil, then towards Shuka, "What the hell Am I to you? You think that with a matchmaking love charm I would want to go back to you?"

"You? Well— for me— you—" Shuka started to stutter, confused and embarrassed.

"Shuka, if you really have grown up, you would know that you can't re-conquer me with this kind of thing! Maybe if you were more Ikemen, I might take you more seriously, but this is only a childish game to you."

Shuka looked at her, surprised.

"That's...that's what you want?" asked Shuka putting the pencil away, but never taking her eyes away from Nanaka's.

Nanaka opened her eyes wide, and maybe thought that had been a huge mistake.

She should have told her that she wasn't interested anymore, that she was with another person, maybe not necessarily tell her that that person was Aina, but yes, she shouldn't have given Shuka any hope.

But.

She couldn't say something like that, because she still wanted to kiss those lips, travel through her skin, and make love to her.

When you are taught through feelings...

"It's not what I do or don't want, I shouldn't tell you what I want or what to do... if you want me back, you should know what to do!" said Nanaka with some hints of annoyance.

The whole NanaShuka relationship lied on the fact of Nanaka guiding everything, so it was mostly her telling Shuka what to do and what not to all the time. If Shuka wanted her back that bad, she needed to put some effort.

She wanted to be someone's priority.

Shuka became serious.

"Then... why did you bring me here?" asked Shuka confused, "To a love-thingie Shrine!"

Nanaka blinked amused.

"Shuka, I brought both of you here, Anchan is here too... and this is part of the tour, it's a must in this town! Geez!" said Nanaka, annoyed.

It was good for Shuka to see the signs, to read moods and under the water, but that wasn't the case.

Shuka looked at her shoes between sad and confused.

It melted Nanaka's heart.
Because, in the bottom, Shuka was just too innocent, and too pure.

Both were too pure.

"I... I still miss you," said Nanaka softly, Shuka opened her eyes wide and smiled brightly, breaking her serious expression, "that's the answer to your question on the bus..."

"Yes... then—"

Nanaka shook her head.

"Don't get me wrong, I miss you, I care about you, I consider you my friend and colleague, but we can't be together." finished Nanaka with a knot in her throat.

Shuka bit her lips and went into deep thought while looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry Shuka, we are not ready..." said Nanaka, but not quite sure why she was still giving Shuka some hope.

Shuka looked at her with a special spark.

"It's ok..." said Shuka with conviction, "I'm stubborn Suwa Nanaka, and I'll conquer your heart once again..."

"What?"

"Ya' want me to be more Ikemen, you got it, I'll capture your heart, and ya'll see how I have grown up! I'll Torikoriko you!" said Shuka with a strong and confident voice.

Nanaka looked at her astonished.

Could that be true?

"Are you...singing Azalea's songs to me?" asked Nanaka in her monotone, Shuka giggled.

"It's catchy..." said Shuka with a cocky smile, Nanaka smiled softly at her.

"I love you Nana-chan, and I... will prove to you that I've changed..." said Shuka confidently.

Nanaka felt weak in her knees, and in her lower half.

"These are not empty words, I mean it!"

Nanaka nodded.

Not sure why she did, because she was with Aina. She wanted to keep trying with Aina, because it was what her heart dictated, but Shuka was trying to do the job while Aina was just missing...

They kept looking at each other with an intense gaze, clearly devouring each other's mouths, and maybe fighting the urge to actually start making out, right there in the middle of the Shrine.

"Hey! I'm back..." said Anchan walking towards them with a shy smile.

"Welcome!" snapped Shuka, now with a more childish mood.

"Welcome, how did it go?" asked Nanaka in her boring tone.

"Good, geez, it took me some time, sorry guys..." she apologized.

Nanaka shook her head.

"Don't ya' worry, we were just catching up..." said Shuka.

"Yeah—-sorry for interrupting-... "

"We are ok—-" but Nanaka was interrupted by the lights turning on inside the Shrine; all of them looked up to see the place getting brighter, and how the sky was getting darker.

"I guess it's time to go." said Anchan.

"Yes, it looks like that..." said Shuka, and then locked her eyes on Nanaka, maybe to ask if they could crash at her place, but Nanaka quickly shook her head.

It wasn't right.

She had been a great host so far; she had taken them to the historic neighborhood, guided them through the city, invited lunch, endured people, treated them to some snacks, and did a 12 minute walk on her day off. Enough for her mother to be proud.

It was enough, and she was grateful for the visit, but Shuka couldn't stay.

It was too risky, and Nanaka just couldn't take that chance. The last time they shared a roof there was a lot of undressing and kissing, and that couldn't happen again.

"So, shall we go to the station then?" asked Shuka understanding Nanaka's body language.

"Yes, of course," said Anchan, then looked at Nanaka and later at Shuka, "Aren't you gonna stay?"

"What? Me?" asked Shuka in a silly tone.

"Of course, doh! You... you two haven't spent enough time together I guess..." said Anchan shyly, "And being with me all day..."

"Don't say nonsense Anchan," said Nanaka and started walking towards the exit, "we've had a great time"

The younger girls started following her.

"Yes, but—" tried Anchan.

"Ya' heard the lady, we are leaving..." said Shuka.

"Shuka can come back whenever she wants... today she came with you, it's proper that she goes too..." said Nanaka nonchalantly.

"Yes, so, we are leaving..." said Shuka, not quite convinced, but following Nanaka's wishes.

Anchan didn't have anything to add.

She said a shy "ok" and kept walking to the exit of the Shrine.

They walked towards a bus stop, waited for Bus number 1, and headed towards the station.

On the way, Anchan and Shuka shared the seat, giving enough time for Nanaka to be silent.

At that point of the day she needed some quiet and peace.

The ride was approximately 25 minutes long and gave her time to spend on her social media more than in her head.

Aina posted a Tweet about the Mini Live, thanking the fans and apologizing that she couldn't upload anything sooner.

All with some cute pictures of a purple bouquet, with a Neso of herself, and a cute drawing of Mari and herself, of course, made by a very dedicated fan.

But no answer of her cute picture with her, or anything else. Totally ignoring the gesture of uploading a cute and lovely NanaAina picture.

Maybe it had been her manager?

But no, because she was in Hokkaido, and even if she had given her account to her manager, that was Aina's kind of writing…(using hearts, emojis, and lots of exclamations) and she talked about how "Mari-tan" was at home with her.

Meaning that Aina was on social media and she just hadn't replied to her.

Nanaka's heart shrunk.

Somehow the heart-shaped thing was taking a big toll on her.

She knew that she didn't have to be that dependent, but Aina was sure making it hard to not overthink things.

And it was annoying.

It made her start thinking if Aina was really into her, if her words were just empty.
Nanaka needed actions, and her mother's words echoed in her mind even louder.

Of course, when it was time to say goodbye to the young girls at the station, Nanaka was just too tired and drained to keep resisting to what was right or not.

At the beginning of the day, this was supposed to be just one thing only and then everyone could spend their holidays in their respective towns. But in the end, it completely changed her perspective.

Nanaka told them that they could come back whenever, as the young girls told her to go to Saitama City and to keep adventuring. They were friends, they were teammates and colleagues, so why the hell not? They weren't doing anything wrong.

It thrilled Shuka more than Nanaka, but she couldn't say that she was sad or worried about it.

She loved Aina, but she was holding on to the relationship by the memory of it, while Shuka wanted to be with her and was determined to show it to Nanaka.

When you are taught through feelings...

What could go wrong with it?

.

.

.

Everything.

Of course, Nanaka couldn't have prevented anything. She was just going with the flow and doing what she could, with the tools she had. But of course, in the eyes of Aina, those looked weird and wrong.

It pissed her off.

Aina was pissed. And even if she tried hard to don't burst into her emotions, it was difficult.

She was serious, she was quiet, her leg was shaking with impatience. And if she could drive the taxi herself she would have, just in order to arrive at Nanaka's place faster and have the long awaited conversation that they had kept postponing since that afternoon.

Nanaka in a way was relaxed, almost in her sleepy self, and confident in her feelings, but truth was that she wasn't in any mood to have a conversation, but there they were, and Aina was losing her shit.

They exited the Taxi, and while Nanaka was sending it off, Aina started walking towards the building at a very pissed pace. It had snowed earlier, so her annoyed steps were very noticeable.

Jesus...

Taking a deep breath, Nanaka turned around and enveloped herself in courage.

"You have to wait for me, otherwise you can't open the door." said Nanaka walking at her slow-motion pace.

Aina stopped and looked back at her.

"Can you please hurry up then?"

"You need to go to the toilet?" asked Nanaka amusedly.

"No, Suwawa, I want to get this over with, I hope in time if I need to go back home." said Aina, annoyed.

"Home?" murmured Nanaka and stopped.

They stood for a few seconds looking at each other, feeling the cold on their cheeks.

Nanaka frowned.

She stopped her relationship with Shuka because of her constant tantrums, and she wasn't going to tolerate Aina throwing one.

Or another hand, at that point Aina had already thrown a few on her own.

"Then go home," said Nanaka as she continued walking to the door and left Aina cold in her spot.

It took a few seconds for Aina to react, maybe she wasn't expecting that Nanaka would send her home so bluntly.

"Suwawa, wait!" she called.

"What? Do you wanna stay, or do you wanna go? Please stop this crap." said Nanaka, pissed off, opening the door.

She looked back; Aina opened her eyes wide in surprise. Not only Nanaka was being all bossy and demanding, but also determined and talking a bit out of herself.

"What's gotten into you now?" asked Aina, surprised.

"Me?...Geez, aren't you the one who was pissed, and the one who wanted to talk?!" asked Nanaka and entered the building. If Aina followed, good, if she went home, good too.

But no, Aina followed.

"Yes, I want—"

"You know, I'm tired, it was a long day, I didn't want to end it arguing with you, I don't have anything to argue about, I have things to worry about, work to study, a Center song to start singing... I need to figure out how I will survive the next six months with this new work load, and I'm annoyed, we could have done a duet, but you fucked it up with your pride... and now you are pissed, just give me a break." said Nanaka while walking towards the elevator and pressing the button.

"See...we need to talk..." said Aina softly, standing by her side.

They stood there in silence.

Aina grabbed Nanaka's hand.

And they waited.

The holidays passed by quicker than Nanaka could have ever imagined. She was glad that it wasn't necessary to spend hours watching the grains on the ceiling, and spent her holidays doing more productive things, like studying her new projects, her new songs, sleeping, eating her mother's home cooking, lying dead under a kotatsu, and of course, going on adventures with Anchan and Shuka.

It wasn't that much, but they did hang out in Kawagoe again, and then Nanaka went to Saitama City and played silly games with the kids. It was a good way to distract herself, to enjoy her free time, even if that time was shared with Anchan and Shuka.

She missed hanging out with them too.

It was a funny duo, and they helped her stop overthinking things.

Aina was busy in Hokkaido. Period.

She would take like 12 hours to reply to a simple LINE message, and even if Aina was actually busy, it was rude.

Nanaka was supposed to be her wannabe girlfriend, at least she should have shown some concern.

The first days had been difficult because it was weird.

Then she recalled all the conversations about her "lonely issues" and just let Aina be.

When her mother asked about her, she just replied that she was "fine", she was "busy", and "good", which wasn't that far from reality. Or at least the reality that Nanaka knew, because their conversations became mostly greeting routines and almost lacked all meaning. Then her mother would ask about Shuka, and then, Nanaka had way more things to share.

It ashamed her because she was talking happily about another person than the one who she needed to love. It made Nanaka wonder again about her mother's words about Aina not being there, but Shuka and how all these relationships were just a "normal phase" that all Japanese girls went through.

If Aina didn't care, why should she be swamped about it?

When she had other fun stuff to do, like shopping with the kids, playing video games with them, and why not, have deep and meaningful talks with Anchan. (Shuka wasn't much of a deep talker while Anchan was around).

So, there was no wonder that the NanaShuka relationship had recovered its spark.

They could be in the same room, doing the same activity at peace. Somehow the tension about being Exes, about the lie, and all that just vanished, because they just worked too naturally.

Or at least for Nanaka, because she just felt it like that.

So, no wonder on the first day back to practice, Aina had a confused look seeing Nanaka being so "normal" with Shuka. Giggling with her, talking with her, sharing food and all those lovey Dovey thingies that they used to do, besides all the crap they did on rehearsals thanks to the Lineup.

While on the other hand, the NanaAina relationship was just stuck to the Combini dates after practice again, which were more like a quick tea, ping-ponging some thoughts about practice, and then Aina leaving. And leaving to what Nanaka guessed Chiba, because she wasn't staying with her anymore.

It was a totally different vibe from when she was with Shuka.

It could be misunderstood by the couple selling the lie to the members, yes, but Nanaka wasn't doing it on purpose, it was just Natural.

So of course, at some point, it would piss Aina off.

And that day was Friday, January 13th, the same day they had a Niconama, and a bombardment of news about how 2017 would be, and it wasn't light.

Nanaka was immersed in too many worries that afternoon; First Live, new projects, new songs, the new season of the anime, her Center, interviews, photoshoots, a tour, going to LA again, and a bunch of just so many things, that in the middle of all that, she received Aina's concerns about what the hell was going on with Shuka.

Also, Nanaka was wondering what the hell was going on with Arisa who was in a very cranky mood, so was Rikako, but considering that she had just too many things on her own plate, she was going to set that issue to the side. At least to chill Aina out a little.

So, after a few backs and forths between them in the middle of the meeting, which led them nowhere, but with Aina more suspicious about if Nanaka had actually crossed the line with Shuka, Nanaka played the hairstylist and braided Shuka's and Aina's hairs, leaving Aina super annoyed and with the phrase "yes, we need to talk".

That Niconama was a thing on its own.

Maybe all the members were just too distracted and too out of place, but giving the watchers a good portion of "Aqours the looneys", which according to the Chief of Staff was good and hilarious.

But mostly, Third Years left Lantis Building annoyed.

Arisa, because God knows why; Aina because of Nanaka, and Nanaka because of her current state of balance somehow shattered.

They jumped on the elevator still without saying anything.

Maybe Aina was thinking about what to say and which weapons to use against Nanaka and her current closeness with Shuka.

But, Nanaka had the biggest asset of all in her defense; confidence.

She was sure about her thing with Aina, there weren't second thoughts, and she wasn't mad or angry with her to start an argument. She was calm as a cup of green tea.

The bell rang, the cue for them to step out.

Nanaka was searching for her keys when Aina spoke.

"Please say something! I'm dying here!" said Aina now exasperated.

Nanaka looked back at her, who was so into arguing that she even forgot to mock her about the "Suwa Door".

Nanaka blinked a few times, opened the door, and let them in.

"I'm home..." she murmured softly, knowing that there was no one inside, took her shoes off, and put on her sleepers.

She quickly turned on the lights and took out some sleepers for Aina from the wardrobe.

"Sorry, I didn't know if you would come here anytime soon, that's why I put them away..." said Nanaka softly.

"Pardon the intrusion..." murmured Aina coming inside and grabbing the sleepers, "no worries..."

"So, you want to talk..." said Nanaka, taking her coat off and hanging it on the hanger, "Do you want to eat?"

Aina stopped and looked at Nanaka with a funny face.

"It's because we solve everything around food?" said Aina, and then took her coat off.

Nanaka giggled.

"I'll make some green tea..." said Nanaka walking towards the kitchen.

"That would be nice..." she heard Aina say "And no, I don't wanna eat..."

Nanaka stopped with the kettle in her hands.

"What? Did I hear right? You don't want to eat?"

"You heard right..." said Aina peeping into the kitchen, "I don't know how to feel about being part of the 'Gluttony trio'..." said Aina shyly and cutely.

Nanaka snorted.

A few hours ago, it was announced to them that a new project would come along, and that included a new CD release of Duets and Trios.

The pairings were settled by the staff, but were determined by the visit to the SEGA Collab Cafe from a few months ago.

Yes, that Café where Shuka and Aina refused to go with Nanaka, so she ended up going with Anchan.

If Nanaka thought about it, it was so DAMN obvious. The Chief had asked them to go as pairs or as a trios to the cafe, that wasn't rocket science.

But Shuka said no because she was a brat, and Aina said no out of pride.

In the end, Nanaka was paired with Anchan, Aiai with Arisa, Shuka with Aikyan, and the "Gluttony Trio", King, Rikako, and Aina.

"Well, serves you right." said Nanaka moving to fill the kettle.

"Eh? Do you think? I don't know, there's too much Rikyako in my life... with Guilty Kiss is enough..." said Aina in an amused tone.

"Try to do that with Arisa... imagine if we ended up in a duo..." said Nanaka while filling the kettle.

A few seconds passed, and both started laughing.

"That would be hilarious!" laughed Aina.

"That would be the most diligent unit ever..." said Nanaka softly, setting the kettle.

"It would be boring... ya' need King to be less diligent..." said Aina sitting at the kitchen table.

"We need all Aqours..." said Nanaka softly, taking the cups and placing them on the counter.

"It'll be fun... also you and Anchan..." said Aina.

"Me and Anchan..." murmured Nanaka, then felt a pinch in her right eye, "You know... that could be us right?"

"Us?"

"Yes, us, if you would have come to the cafe with me." said Nanaka in a dry tone.

"Oh, that... Well, shit happens!" Aina waived the subject away, Nanaka just opened her eyes wide in surprise.

"That...doesn't bother you?" asked Nanaka softly.

"What? That you and I can't share a duo?" asked Aina amused, "Nana, we are the best Ship on this franchise, sooner or later the KanaMari duo will be out, so no, it doesn't bother me, I'm thrilled to know what will come out with this trio."

Nanaka bit her lips.

"Well, I wanted that for us! And now! Not later..." said Nanaka trying to hold on. This event happened in October when they were starting dating, and for Aina it was just meaningless.

"Suwawa, you need to trust the system, the KanaMari duet will happen..." said Aina still calm.

"You don't see in between lines, right?" asked Nanaka with bitterness.

"What do you mean?"

Nanaka took a deep breath.

"It's not only the fact that you didn't want to go with me to the café; Aina, I barely see you in our basic life, the trip to the café helped as an excuse for a date, if we had gone together, we would not only had had a good time in the café, but also share a duo, and not only that, that means hours of recording, you and me..." said Nanaka softly, maybe explaining with apples.

Aina opened her mouth softly.

"Yes, but, as you don't care about it, then..." and Nanaka shrugged.

"Hey! That's not true..." said Aina with outrage.

"Is it not? You didn't want to go with me, because of your pride!"

"That's also not true!" snapped Aina.

"Then what? Aina, that was our chance!"

"But we can have another! Geez! You would have preferred to go to the café with Shuka, am I right?" asked Aina, annoyed.

Nanaka blinked a few times, as the kettle started to whistle.

Well, it was about time to start the conversation, that of course, had to be around Shuka.

Whether she could be mad about Shuka also not wanting to go with her to the café, at that moment she was trying her thing with Aina, so logic should say that her anger must be focused on Aina not wanting to go with her.

Both rejected her.

Nanaka turned around and removed the kettle from the fire, and started preparing the tea.

Everything in deep silence.

She could feel Aina becoming impatient.

When you are taught through feelings and you have nothing to hide.

You can take your time.

Nanaka made her pace with her feelings with Shuka. Had a remember, moved on, and determined that she wanted to be with Aina. And that was settled.

So, she was calm and confident about her feelings and her moral scales.

She finished pouring the tea into the cups, and slowly took them to the table.

In front of the astonished eyes of Aina, she sat, blew her tea, closed her eyes, and tasted it.

It tasted like peace.

"Well," started Nanaka now looking straight towards Aina, "now that you invited our precious guest of honor to our relationship, and to this discussion, what do you want to talk about?"

Nanaka's face was a poem.

No hesitation, no fear.

It puzzled Aina.

"Well..." started Aina, "you can... you can answer my question, would you have preferred going with her?" then Aina grabbed her cup of tea, maybe holding onto something.

"At that time, maybe... that was in October Aina, I was still healing... but I wanted to go with you, to make memories with you...at that time, you and I, were different, it would have looked different...from now... and I guess...doing a duet now, with our current state of love, it would be different from one in the future because we don't know... in what state our love will be..." said Nanaka in deep thought.

Aina opened her mouth like an "o".

"It's like, if I had to sing a song with Shuka back then, when we were a couple, it would look different from now because we are friends and nothing more..." said Nanaka with a sad smile.

"Really?" asked Aina ironically.

"Really." answered Nanaka seriously.

Aina took a deep breath, and then a sip of her green tea.

Seemed that she needed the courage.

Even though it was a wonder what kind of courage could green tea bring. Maybe Aina needed something stronger.

"I don't believe that you two are just that... it doesn't look like that..." said Aina shyly.

"Again with this?" asked Nanaka tiredly.

"Yes again, and it will be a constant, now more than ever!" said Aina annoyed, but Nanaka wasn't sure if Aina was annoyed with herself, with Nanaka, or the situation.

"But we have talked a lot about this... Aina... a LOT, and I don't know how many times I need to tell you, my commitment is to you—" Nanaka was saying, but Aina started to shake her head.

"Now it's different... I see you... it feels, I— I feel you... distant." sentenced Aina.

Aina looked at her cup, maybe in shame. Nanaka just blinked a few times, pale.

Distant.

Aina felt Nanaka distant.

But she is the one... who went to ...Hokkaido...

How—

No.

Nanaka frowned.

"This is not my fault." said Nanaka.

Aina looked at her in shock.

"I'm not going to take this blame, because it's not mine." said Nanaka strongly.

"Responsibility" corrected Aina.

"Neither!" snapped Nanaka.

"Is it not? At least share it! If we are distant we are both to blame—"

"How am I the one responsable here?! Aina, you went to Freaking Hokkaido!" snapped Nanaka, now leaking some of her hidden frustration.

"To see my Family! Suwawa, FAMILY!" snapped Aina in her defense.

"Is your family living under a rock, or inside the mountains?! That you can't answer a simple message?! Or to see Twitter?" asked Nanaka, frustrated.

"What?! No, It was family time, I was busy! You know I don't pay attention to social media, not just you, NOBODY! It's not personal—" Aina said in defense.

"But I'm your Girlfriend!" burst Nanaka shaking the table.

Aina looked at her with her big eyes.

Nanaka bit her lips, because that label hadn't been earned yet, so she hurried up to correct it.

"Well, not girlfriend, but your love interest... or the sort...right?" asked Nanaka shyly.

"I'm your girlfriend?" asked Aina amused.

"I don't know...are we?... Aina I'm confused!" said Nanaka now scratching her forehead, "we don't have a label, we are not in the 'open relationship' anymore, so I thought I was something meaningful to you—"

"And you are!"

"But you need to show it to me!" said Nanaka, now opening her arms and showing her hands, "Before dating you used to be so bold about it, so determined, and now I feel that you are in your world! You left! You are walking away from me!"

"And I apologized for leaving you!" Answered Aina, now raising her tone, "Suwawa we are adults, and you...you left too, you went to Kawagoe!"

"But that wasn't in my plans!" said Nanaka.

"You never told me!"

"You never told me either about going to Hokkaido! You told me when everything was already set! You never asked me if I wanted to go too, what if I wanted to?" asked Nanaka, her anger and frustration now bursting out.

"It's too cold for ya'" said Aina.

"That's not your call or something for you to decide!" said Nanaka confidently, "You should have told me your plans, if we are together we need to share this information, I'm not a mind reader!"

Aina seemed to shrink in the chair.

Her body language was telling Nanaka that Aina wasn't comfortable at all.

For the first time, Nanaka was in charge, confident and with the power to manage the argument with strength more than with kindness.

"I..." tried Aina, but she couldn't say a thing.

"I know that you went to see your family, and I know these are family holidays, so maybe you wouldn't ask me to go with you, but at least you should have told me sooner that you would be gone for New Year, then I would probably have to figure it out and plan to go to Kawagoe..." said Nanaka now recovering her kind tone, Aina just looked at her with sadness.

"I didn't plan to go back home, actually I asked you if you wanted to spend New Year's with me and my family here in Tokyo...and that was something that I was expecting from you..."

Aina frowned

"To be invited?" asked Aina, Nanaka closed her eyes with bitterness, and then opened them with exasperation.

"No! To be considered!" said Nanaka, gathering patience.

It seemed that Aina was lacking empathy and common sense.

Was she always that selfish?

Aina made an "oh" sound and then entered into deep thought, like trying to understand why she needed to consider Nanaka in her personal/family plans.

"I know that you aren't a social media junky, but ... I don't know, show some interest?... I...dedicated my very first picture of the year to you...and you didn't see it...you didn't ask about my holidays... or if I was going to spend them in Tokyo, Hawaii, or whatever... for me, I just feel that you are on your own world, far from me... and I'm not able to reach you...and that's a lot coming from someone who is used to being in her own world!" said Nanaka with a sad tone.

"Didn't I ask you how you were every morning?!" asked Aina, now recovering her mood to argue.

"Yes, and you know why? Because I started asking how YOU were, before that, It was a message like 'have a good day' and that was it... did I become a routine to you? Because you sent your good morning message and then you didn't answer my messages in like hours..."

Aina bit her lips.

"Well, I was busy..." said Aina, "and again, it's not personal, if you want me to know things, you need to tell me... I'm also not a mind reader!" said Aina, rising her tone.

Nanaka blinked a few times, not believing her ears.

"I was giving you space, you know? All I was doing these last weeks was to please you," said Aina annoyed, "So it really frustrates me to know that you spent your holidays with Shuka, and you didn't tell me!"

"And Anchan, she was there too." said Nanaka correcting her.

"And you want me to believe that?" asked Aina, incredulous.

"Yes, because it's the truth, we hung out, the three of us... you can ask her..." said Nanaka in a tired tone.

"And you didn't tell me." said Aina.

"You never asked." answered Nanaka, and raised her eyebrows.

Aina deadpanned her.

And that was between hilarious and painful.

"Sometimes you need to ask, you can't expect to have everything done for you. Also, why should I tell you when I go out with my friends? Do you tell me when you go out with yours? No." said Nanaka seriously.

"But these aren't ordinary friends! This is Shuka! Your EX!" Aina explained angrily.

"She is my friend! And Anchan was there!" replied Nanaka, "Aqours members! And it surprises me because you weren't like this..."

"Like this?" repeated Aina.

"Yes, so self-centered and not paying attention to details...you used to get ahead on things..." said Nanaka, she grabbed her cup and looked at Aina, "to be on details..."

Then she drank her tea.

Aina looked at her with sad eyes.

Maybe Nanaka hit the spot?

Aina took a deep breath and looked at her with a serious face.

"You are right, this isn't me..." said Aina sadly.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" Nanaka asked with concern.

Aina smiled at her softly.

She took a moment to think; looked at her cup, then to Nanaka, took a deep breath, and spoke.

"About Hokkaido, I'm sorry... yes, my bad... I'm used to doing things on my own and to not asking or dependending on someone, so I just acted like I'm used to..." said Aina softly, then took a sip of her tea.

Nanaka just looked at her with sadness.

Maybe she was pushing too hard?

How far was her willingness to give in order for both to be happy?

It was to Nanaka's knowledge that both of them had different types of hearts, so how much of it did they need to modify in order to fit each other's needs?

The fitting.

Was that healthy?

Wasn't that frustrating?

"Also...this...might be our last holidays with our families..." said Aina, "so... I'm sorry, I didn't think about you." and Aina bowed politely.

"Our last?" asked Nanaka incredulously.

"Yes," said Aina who stopped bowing, "Suwawa, have you ever stopped to think about what we are doing as Aqours? As a group? And how this is going to affect us?"

Nanaka blinked.

"After the Mini Live it became clear to me...Aqours will become something huge, and we will reach an, even more, tighter schedule! So I bet next year we aren't gonna be able to go home!" said Aina between sadness and fear.

Nanaka nodded softly.

It wasn't that she hadn't taken the weight of it; the Mini Live had been huge and a good way to practice for the First Live, but could they actually lose the special holidays just because they were now in the industry?

Aina seemed confident that that was going to be the case. And if Aina had told her that before that day, she wouldn't have believed it, but now, after all the bombardment the Chief gave them, it seemed that their popularity would rocket high into space.

"About not paying attention to the phone and the media... I'm sorry too... I just disconnected myself, I wanted time for me... and my family..." said Aina, "I should have told you that too... for you not to think that I don't care about you, because I do..."

"You do? Really?"

Aina looked at her outraged.

"Of course, Suwawa, I love you, please don't ever doubt it..." said Aina softly, in her mature tone, and looked at Nanaka with sad eyes, "Maybe we love in a different way?"

"Maybe..." said Nanaka softly and sadly.

Both stood a few seconds looking at each other.

With sadness.

That wasn't new for Nanaka, to realize that they had different shaped hearts, and that their love moved in different scales, and that sometimes affected the fitting.

But as she was determined and committed, she was trying to fit in, and to be patient.

"I... " started Aina again, "I told you that I wanted to be better, that I would solve my shit to be better for you, for me, and for us..."

Nanaka nodded.

"This trip back home helped me to work on it, that's why I was so off, I needed to recharge, to disconnect.. and it truly hurts me to know that this healing time, my family time, brought us this distance..." said Aina in deep thought.

Nanaka made a sad face.

It had been difficult weeks, with the Mini Live and the workload, that maybe Aina really needed to disconnect from everything and everyone.

Anchan said something like that in one of their deep conversations. She was so stressed and busy with the workload that she wasn't paying any attention to her Twitter, and she hadn't uploaded a single picture in months.

Was this the same case?

Maybe not.

Because Anchan was still answering the phone, the messages, and hanging out with Shuka and her.

Aina was just running.

"I..." said Nanaka softly, thinking about her words, Aina was being sincere, she just couldn't be so senseless.

"Yes?"

Nanaka frowned.

Let's stop this crap!

"I feel that that is just an excuse." said Nanaka dryly, Aina opened her eyes wide.

"Wha—"

"Yes, because you have never acted like this with me before..." said Nanaka with bitterness.

"Suwawa, it's not like that, I told you that—" tried Aina.

"I know what you told me, and I can tell it's not like that..." said Nanaka strongly, Aina seemed to shrink in her seat.

"What do you mean?" asked Aina seriously.

Nanaka looked at her with darkened eyes.

"Aina, since we know each other, we have always talked, you have always been loaded by work, your schedule had always been really tightly, but that never stopped you from being close, to be present, to be watching me; you from all members were always there, I didn't need to tell you anything... you always knew what to do, what to tell me, or tell Shuka..." said Nanaka seriously.

Aina blinked a few times, but never said a thing.

"This changed when we started our relationship... when you started with your kinks... when you started to lecture me that I wasn't ready... when you left for Korea..." said Nanaka holding her feelings.

She was sad and angry at the same time.

"I was in Korea working—" tried Aina in defense, but Nanaka stopped her with her hand.

"Excuses..." said Nanaka dryly, "I was in LA, and you were virtual with me, asking about me, keeping me company... I never stopped talking to you because 'I was working", even with time differences... I WAS STILL THERE FOR YOU!"

"You were with Shuka then!" retorted Aina not getting it.

"That's irrelevant!" snapped Nanaka, "the thing is that even if I was with Shuka, I was still giving you attention... attention that you didn't seem to care about when it was the other way around!"

Aina bit her lips.

"And now it happened again with Hokkaido, the fact isn't that you went, of course, you can go! It's your family, the problem is that you don't care about me if I'm not around!" Nanaka said finally with all her heart, tightly shutting her eyes.

"That's not—"

"Yes! Yes, it is!" said Nanaka as she opened her eyes, some tears were gathering in Aina's eyes, "All this time you were so diligent and caring about me because I was here, I'm here, with you, it's like I need to guide you to fit with me, and it was easy when you weren't committed to me, when I was Shuka's problem, that was easy, because you would always win! But now that you need to commit, that I'm your problem, at the first instance you get to leave, then you forget because I'm not around to remind you about me!"

Aina stood abruptly from the chair, the cups of tea shook on the table as she laid her hands on the table, her eyes focused on it.
She was clenching her teeth.

Nanaka bit her lips, maybe that was too much, but indeed it was needed.

Her own words reminded her when Aiai had told her that Shuka used to be happy when Nanaka wasn't around her.

It shattered her heart.

The vivid image that their love wasn't that strong anymore.

"I wanna go home..." murmured Aina softly, almost inaudibly, and then looked at Nanaka with her eyes full of tears.

"What?"

"Now... I wanna go home..." repeated Aina still into a murmur, but with sadness.

Nanaka took a deep breath.

Maybe Aina needed to go, but that wouldn't solve anything.

"You should go," said Nanaka still in her dry tone, "Then you will prove my point..."

"Eh?"

"When it gets difficult, you leave." said Nanaka softly, dryly, and senselessly.

She stood slowly from the chair and looked at Aina.

"And then you have the audacity to tell me that our distance is my responsibility too; when the one who always leaves is you."

Aina stood there looking at Nanaka, her eyes tearing up.

The kind, sweet, and slow paced Nanaka was already gone, and done with her shit.

Nanaka had been always there to fight for them; when it became difficult she used to stay and try to fix things, even if she needed to take a piece of her heart, tear some of its shape, adapt it to fit, whatever it took.

Here, Aina just left.

Blamed her. Blamed Shuka. Blamed the family. Blamed work.

Shared responsibilities.

Because she wasn't able to see her own faults.

A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.

It was hard to believe that Nanaka had let it go...

-0oo0-

---

... and we are so close to catching up with Feelings Under a Mask! - and to end up this insert-

Hold on Suwawa! you need to resist just one more chapter. (ง︡'-'︠)ง

The next chapter is the last one on this side and we can continue with Masquerade!

Once again, we really appreciate all the support in this project!

Thanks a lot for the comments, shares, kudos, and likes! and now Coffees!

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