Just Wizard Things

by AmaratsuDD5

A timeless war is being waged across the face of Remnant, an invisible conflict that few know of and fewer still understand. In the middle of this stands a single man, humanity's greatest light against the darkness, and he'll stop at nothing to make the perfect brew that will awaken the world from its decaf slumber. Oh, and stop the forces of Salem too. If he gets around to it.

4. The First Coffee Break Part II

Hey everyone and anyone, welcome to my yearly upload! *Sobs hysterically*

In all seriousness, I had WAY too much fun writing this and I can only hope that you guys get as much of a kick out of it as I did. I do have plans for the next arc, so to speak, but I'm debating posting it in shorter chapters to speed up how often I can post (I have WAY to many things I'm trying to juggle all at once haha). My beta readers have stated that they like the longer, relatively self-contained stories better, but let me know if you guys have any thoughts. Personally, I (clearly) struggle to restrain myself from making stuff way too long, so I'm not gonna throw a fit either way.

As always, your thoughts give me LIFE. I love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts. Let me know if there's anything I can improve on and as always: Have an awesome day/week/year/whenever I see you next.

Keep classy, y'all.
~Amaratsu

---

Coffee Break part II

Roman Torchwick considered himself to be a relatively reasonable man. He said relatively because, despite making a living as Vale's best dressed bachelor (oh, and the best damn thief in the entire city), employing a mute sociopath, and working for an exceedingly dangerous potential megalomaniac, he considered himself to be a pretty laid-back guy.

That didn't mean he was prepared for everything, of course, and like most other times he found himself speechless it was all Neo's fault.

"Look, uh, Neo, I know I picked you up off the street and all, but that doesn't make it okay for you to do the same to some random kid." Roman tried to say in a reasonable tone of voice.

Neo, for her part, at least seemed to put some consideration into his words before shrugging and turning back to gesture imperiously at her newest toy. The blond kid currently sitting in the middle of the warehouse they'd been using nodded obediently and offered up one of the three ice cream cones he was holding for Neo to sample. The mute girl nodded, clearly pleased, and leaned forward to lick at the frozen treat daintily. To the kid's credit, he seemed determined not to let Neo's quirks get to him, steadily looking away even when she "missed" and caught his finger with her tongue. The poor kid was still turning a brilliant scarlet, though.

Sighing, Roman took out a cigar lit it before taking a few steadying puffs as he watched the bizarre tableau unfold. Neo would signal for one of the three cones the kid was somehow managing to juggle, work her way partway through it (maintaining sultry eye-contact the entire time, of course) before having the boy switch cones when she noticed one of her 'treasures' starting to melt. Sighing, Roman took one last puff of his cigar (for patience) before he stepped up to do something uncharacteristic: take pity on some poor sucker.

"So." Roman said diplomatically, leaning on his cane and trying very hard to ignore the irritated look Neo shot him when her mobile ice-cream holder's eyes snapped to him, "Who the hell are you?"

"Oh," The kid jumped slightly at the veiled irritation in Roman's voice, looking nervous, his eyes flitting from Roman to Neo who was pouting up at him. The girl saw his wavering attention and pointed imperiously at another one of the flavors (chocolate) and the kid rushed to swap out the vanilla she'd been sampling without dropping the strawberry. Roman groaned when he realized that answering his question had become a secondary concern for the kid.

As much as hated to admit it, the kid probably had his priorities straight on that one.

"I-I'm Jaune." The kid stammered, coloring further as Neo winked at him and took an eager taste of the treat he'd managed to proffer, "I was told, or well, not told, but she implied that she could help me find someone I'm looking for so I could—"

Roman groaned and promptly tuned out everything the kid was saying. Great, a rambler, exactly what he needed right now. "Look, kid, twenty words or less, alright?"

The kid's jaw shut with an audible click and he nodded hurriedly, his hair flailing wildly in his eagerness to please. Roman rolled his eyes.

"Your daughter led me here so I could sell you my women's clothing."

…

Wut.

There was an awful lot to break down in that sentence, and Roman was not gonna be the man to do it. Turning, he looked to Neo for clarification, only to see her staring at the poor kid with a look of incredulity. Noticing his stare, she gestured between the two of them and crinkled up her nose in disgust.

"Oh, piss off," Roman growled at his protégé before turning to address the little blond idiot, "Kid, she's not my daughter, she's my partner."

The kid frowned at him, before giving Neo a speculative look, "Isn't she a little young for that?"

Wow. The poor dumb idiot. If Neo had looked offended before, now she looked downright scandalized.

"She's probably a bit older than you, actually." Roman said drily.

"Wait, reall—ack!"

Neo didn't wait for the kid to finish his sentence, grabbing his collar and pulling him down to face level with a chill little smile. It didn't take a genius to tell that she was a little peeved at the kid's words, and Roman was internally relieved to see that the kid picked up on it if his suddenly nervous expression was any indication. Reaching up to grip his chin in one hand, Neo gave the poor kid a brilliant smile before using her other hand to tug on the collar of her own shirt and give the kid an eyeful of her ample cleavage.

The kid squeaked and went bright red, somehow coloring even further when Neo gave him a salacious wink and blew him a kiss before letting him lurch back up.

Roman took a long puff of his cigar. "Yup. I'm sure." He said mildly.

"I-I'm so sorry!" The kid stammered, eyes flicking between the two of them with desperate sincerity.

Cripes, talk about foot in the mouth. Roman thought idly, choosing to puff out a breath of smoke instead of answering as the kid seemed to shrink into himself. Roman suppressed a little groan, this was why he hated kids. "Look, kid, I'll tell you what: I woke up in a good mood today, so I'll letcha' off the hook with some free advice: If there are three numbers that don't exist as far as you're concerned, they're a woman's age, weight, and height."

The kid nodded his empty blond head rapidly, more than eager to agree, "Yes, sir."

Roman eyed the kid distastefully, "And as far as you're concerned, the only number that doesn't exist for me is age. I'm not old enough to be anybody's dad, got it?"

"No, sir, not at all, sir!" The kid spouted readily, practically falling all over himself in his haste to agree with Roman.

Roman eyed the kid harshly.

The kid smiled nervously, a drop of sweat beading his forehead.

Roman upped his glare, making the kid's smile wilt into a pale shadow of itself. "Good." Roman said after a moment, "So long as we're clear on that." Seriously, he wasn't even pushing into his thirties yet! He was still in his prime, right?!

As if sensing the direction of his thoughts, Neo made a so-so gesture from behind the kid. Roman flipped her off.

The kid seemed to nearly collapse inward on himself in relief at Roman's words, letting out a long breath of air. Roman just rolled his eyes again, "You're dripping on my floor, kid."

Neo seemed to teleport around him, eyes wild as she took in the state of her favorite treat. Letting out a silent growl, the mute sociopath imperiously signaled for all three cones to be held out in front of her and proceeded to—

Roman coughed awkwardly and pulled the brim of his hat lower over his eyes, puffing furiously at his cigar as he tried to ignore the downright lewd sounds his best and brightest was making as she furiously set to work taking care of the obvious problem that came with eating three cones at once.

Why couldn't he have any help that wasn't either utterly incompetent or utterly, unbearably… He paused for a moment in his smoking, trying to think of a word to describe his petite companion. Roman was no slouch when it came to vocabulary, despite his sordid occupation, but even he was drawing a blank here.

He groaned and tugged his hat even lower when the sounds in front of him reached a fever pace. Neo, why do you have to be so…so… Neo.

A short time later Neo settled back on her heels with a satisfied expression, leaving the poor kid looking downright shell-shocked. Roman grimaced, stepping forward to snap his fingers impatiently under the kid's nose. "Look, as much as I love have company swing by unannounced," The kid flinched slightly at that, even though Roman was directing it towards his utterly unrepentant companion, "I'm a busy man with a busy schedule. The sooner you can explain your business; the sooner you can be out of my incredibly well kept hair."

The kid's eyes snapped to Roman's, and the scarlet of his cheeks was joined by a sickly green, "I—I thought I already had…?"

Roman pinched the bridge of his nose to stave off the migraine he could feel coming on, struck with the abrupt urge to introduce the poor sap to the business end of Melodic Cudgel. Honestly, the only reason he hadn't already was because Neo had brought the kid along. As his defacto second in command, he'd trusted that she wouldn't bring some idiot to their hideout without a reason. Real shame he'd forgotten about her sense of humor, but hey, it was early in the night and he could be excused for the slip-up.

"Clearly I was remiss when I told you to explain in twenty words or less." Roman tried reasonably, "Let's bump it up to forty and see if we can't do better, hmm?"

The kid took one look at his expression, paled—oh would you look at that, he wasn't as oblivious as he looked—and nodded rapidly. Taking a deep breath, the kid took a moment to order his thoughts: "I'm looking for AClockWorkOrange because he helped me get into Beacon but the headmaster is insane and my teammate and I didn't get the right uniforms. I'm willing to trade the clothing he got if I need materials."

Roman blinked once at the kid, twice, then scowled as he knocked some loose ash off the end of his cigar and jammed it back home with a muted growl, "Kid, do I look like a damn clothes store to you?!"

"N-no, not at all!" The kid yelped, "B-but, I mean, look at you!"

Roman's grip on his cigar tightened to the point that he could distantly hear it creaking, he worked hard to look this good and if this idiotic brat thought he was gonna get away with looking down on him for wearing makeup he'd—

"You're so cool! The makeup, the hair, the suit!? You've obviously got style! At the very least, you'd know better than anyone I've ever met where I'd need to go!"

—Maybe indulge the kid, after all, it couldn't hurt.

Roman preened shamelessly under the kid's star-struck look, "What can I say, looking the part is important." He boasted, puffing out his chest.

Neo gagged.

"Exactly!" The kid said nodding his head emphatically, "You've got the whole confidence angle down, and my dad always did say that was the one thing you need! I-I know I'm asking a lot, but—I mean, you're clearly the best choice—I'd be more than satisfied with whatever help you're willing to give me."

Roman puffed away for a moment, considering his options. It wasn't often that the flamboyant thief ran across someone who appreciated the amount of work he put into his image and it couldn't hurt to indulge the kid a bit. You know, like the fashion guru Roman so clearly was. Still… the kid would have to be one masterful liar to pull it off, but there was always the possibility he was getting played and no one played Roman Torchwick.

Perhaps a test was in order.

"Tell ya what, kid." Roman said with a smirk, spreading his arms invitingly, "You've talked a big game so far, but let's just say I'm not convinced you're deservin' of my… expert talents."

The kid went pale, "W-what?!" He squeaked, "I-I mean, really? W-what do I have to do?!"

Roman smirked, "I'm in a good mood, so I'll give you an easy one, kid. What do you think the best part of my look is?"

There. Perfect. Nobody just seeking to give him lip-service would be able to see through the intricacies of his outfit.

And no, Neo, he wasn't just fishing for compliments!

Neo, utterly oblivious (or, more likely, apathetic to) his inner monologue continued to mockingly choke on an imaginary—

"How am I supposed to answer that?!" The kid sputtered, looking more than a little panicked, "Th-the color coordination? Contrasting light and dark colors? I mean, just look at that jacket! You've got this whole white, red, and black thing going for you that just looks awesome! You've even got an ascot!"

Roman nearly choked on his cigar, coughing suddenly, "A-ascot?!" He said hurriedly, "You knew this was an ascot?"

"Uh, yeah?" The kid asked hesitantly, his eyes wide and concerned, "Sh-should I not have? Am I wrong?"

Roman slashed his hand in the negative, staring at the kid in surprise, "No, no. You're right. Just caught me off guard is all, not a lot of kids your age would know what this was."

"Really?" The kid tilted his head to the side curiously, reminding Roman almost violently of a golden retriever, "I don't see why, Fred from Sco—er, a friend of mine wore one all the time."

"I'll do it."

"Wh-what?"

"I'll do it." Roman said, clasping the kids hands as his eyes glittered with determination, "You've got a good head on your shoulders kid, easily the best brat I've met all week, and it's the job of responsible adults like me to guide kids like you towards the right path."

"T-the straight and narrow?"

"What?! No! Don't make me doubt myself right away, kid, I'm talking about fashion!" Roman drawled, waving one hand grandly before them. Neo seemed to take that as her cue to leave, rolling her eyes and snatching the last empty cone as she wandered off.

"O-oh…?" The kid said, his eyes following Neo as she departed.

"Listen kid, I'm gonna make you the talk of the town, people'll know you're comin' from miles away!"

"Oh, wow…" The kid said, sounding a little overwhelmed. Roman paused to give him a look and found him rubbing the back of his blond curls awkwardly, "M-maybe it'd be good if I didn't stick out too much?"

Roman drew up short, "What? Why? You gotta look the part, kid."

"W-well, yeah…" The kid muttered, cringing, "But, you know, you kinda helped me get in with those transcripts, right? I—uh—don't wanna stand out too much and get found out…"

"…What?"

The kid went bone white, "Are you not AClockworkOrange?!"

"Oh! Oh, no, I am." Roman said, blinking as he pieced the dots together at last, "Wait, so you're that rando scrub I helped get in with no experience?"

The kid pouted slightly, poking his fingers together as he fidgeted, "Y-yeah."

…

"Wait, so you made it through initiation, all of that jazz, in one piece with absolutely zero training? Wow, good to know my taxes are being put to good use."

"Wait, did you think I was gonna die or something?!"

"Relax kid," Roman laughed, slapping him on the shoulder and quickly dodging the question, "I don't pay taxes anyway."

The kid blinked, "What?"

"Forget it, above your paygrade, kid. More importantly, we gotta get you measured and fitted. We can't have you and your little friend showing up to classes in rags!"

"Oh! Thank you so much!" The kid said, practically glowing (and conveniently forgetting about their previous line of conversation), "How can I pay you back?"

Roman waved his words off with a single gloved hand, "I'll just have you do me a little favor sometime down the line." He said with a winning smile, "Now come on, chop chop! I can get the measurements of your friend from those clothes you're trying to ditch, but we'll have to get your measurements ourselves."

"Wow, do you do this kinda thing for a living?" The kid asked, eyes shining with awe.

Roman laughed, "Naw, kid, I'm more involved in—uh—dispersal."

"Uh—"

"You know, moving around wealth and all that."

The kid tilted his head, "You mean like taxes?"

Roman blinked, stopping to consider the question. Considering that I'm a thief… "Yeah, that's pretty close actually. I like the way you think, kid."

/*/

"So this is it?" Pyrrha said stoically, glancing around the street corner with lidded eyes. She couldn't see much activity that stood out to her as immediately shifty, in fact, there was a cheerful looking man selling ice cream from a cart a little way down the block. Her hands flexed, straining her elbow long gloves as she balled her fingers into a fist in agitation.

"It is." Ren said, equally grim as he scrolled through the team-tracking app on his scroll, "His scroll listed him as being nearby—"

"What?" Pyrrha asked, her attention snapping to her teammate at his hesitation.

"It's still giving me that error when I try to access his aura…" Ren confessed haltingly.

Pyrrha's heart went cold with dread, "Th-that doesn't necessarily mean much…" She found herself saying, unwilling to acknowledge the alternative.

"It doesn't." Ren agreed readily, pink eyes intent as he fiddled with some settings, "It could just be a glitch in the system."

"Yes, of course." Pyrrha said, forcing a note of optimism into her voice as she followed the black-haired boy onto a little side street, "His aura readings were pretty weird before initiation, too, it's probably just that."

Back before he had aura…

Pyrrha bit her lip, it wasn't technically impossible that the aura reader not working on Jaune before he had his aura had been caused by a completely unrelated glitch. It was certainly easier to tell herself that than linger over all the other reasons Jaune's aura might not be readable.

If Ren noticed the flaw in her thought, he gave no sign of it as he led the way. "Could be." He said quietly, frowning to himself, "He could have also just not initialized his scroll properly, or maybe…"

The boy stopped abruptly at the corner, but before Pyrrha could question it a voice sing-songed from around the corner: "Or maybe he just dropped it~"

"Hello, Nora." Ren said, utterly unsurprised in a way that Pyrrha found more than a little concerning, "You found his scroll?"

"Yup, yup!" Nora chirped, reaching into her shirt and fishing the device out from between—

…

Out. She pulled the scroll out. It didn't matter from where.

"Thank you." Ren said, not even blinking as he accepted the device with a grave nod, "Did you find any sign of him?"

"Naw," Nora said, rocking back and forth on her heels, "I even tried shouting really loud, but he didn't come back; Not even when I told him it was dinnertime."

"Good work, Nora." Ren said distractedly, making the shorter girl beam as he turned back to speak to Pyrrha. "Junior's bar is close to here, and that was his destination. We should check there first."

Pyrrha licked her lips, something hot and ugly stirring in her gut, "What are the odds this 'Junior' is responsible for his disappearance?" She asked. Ren's answering grimace did little to reassure her. "I see." She said, her voice growing clipped and cold.

"Oh, oh, I have an idea!" Nora said with a smile that promised violence as she deployed her hammer, "We should go ask Junior what he knows!"

"You said he runs a nightclub, right?" Pyrrha asked Ren, casually drawing Miló and Akoúo̱, "Is he open for business at this hour?"

Ren hummed thoughtfully, checking the magazines of his weapons with a critical eye, "I'm sure he'll be willing to entertain us if we ask politely."

/*/

Junior had had one bitch of a week. An old friend had dropped by to visit him, something that would have been bad enough if said friend hadn't proceeded to run off and get several of his men incarcerated after facing off with a literal child and losing. Of course, he couldn't really get after the man for that considering he and his entire crew had gotten their collective asses handed to them by some blond beacon student that same night.

Repairs since then had been… slow. They'd had to shut down the club for a day or two while they'd cleared all the broken glass, tables, floor… everything, but he'd been disastrously short on help since the blond bimbo had broken a lot more than the decorations.

It might not have been the best financial decision, but he'd sent his boys back with a hefty bonus that night. Anyone who'd been knocked around by that bitch and had been willing to get back up to try again deserved that much.

So, yeah, sue him if the drink he was currently nursing was a little stronger than what he would have given a customer; He'd had a lot on his mind. A part of him wanted to keep the doors closed until refurbishing was done, but a bigger part knew that it'd be rough enough getting back on his feet without the added revenue. Still, it went without saying that his bar had seen better days, and the shoddy (by his standards, anyway) repairs they'd had to make on such short notice physically pained him to look at.

He'd almost considered banning anyone even tangentially related to a huntsman career, but he wasn't quite concussed enough to think getting on the bad side of the protectors of humanity would be good for business in the long run. Still, he genuinely hoped he wouldn't see anything to do with Beacon for a good long while.

In hindsight, he might have expected the door to burst inward at that very moment in an explosion of (pink?) smoke; It had been that kind of week.

"What the fuck?!" One of the twins screeched from where they'd been nursing (pouting over) their own drinks.

Anyone else might have seen it as a scene straight out of the newest Spruce Willis movie; To Junior, it was a scene from his newest nightmares. Figures paced out of the smoke, their steps slow and unhurried, their weapons gleaming under the lights of the club. The one in front wore armor of bronze, and only a completely sheltered moron wouldn't recognize Pyhrra Nikos or the expression she wore on her face; green eyes glinted like polished emeralds, cold and hard as stone, the same expression that had greeted every opponent she'd faced right before she ground them down beneath her heel.

The girl bouncing around beside The Champion was new to him, but Junior knew dangerous when he saw it. It might have been eager eyes, or the brilliant smile that stretched from cheek to cheek, but Junior thought the shiver that ran down his spine likely had more to do with the absolutely massive Warhammer the girl had casually slung over one shoulder. Either way, it didn't take a genius to tell that the chick was practically begging for a chance to crack some heads.

Junior almost missed the last girl: She seemed to ghost along in the shadow of her companions, passing through the smoke seemingly without parting it. Her hair was as dark as night, marred only by a single pink streak. If it wasn't for his own experience in the criminal underworld, Junior might have written the girl off and focused on the clear threat slowly approaching. As it was, he knew the walk of a talented martial artist. He wouldn't be letting her near him if he could help it, but if he had to choose who to tango with, he might stand a better chance trying to break through the only member of their group not armed with steel.

The girl moved past a light, and metal gleamed from fucking knife guns that had appeared in her hands between two beats of his heart.

Oh good, she was armed too, never mind then.

"What the hell do you want?!" Militia snarled from beside him. Both twins must have thought it best to show a unified front, as they'd taken positions on either side of him while he'd been distracted. A part of him was touched. A smarter part of him quickly realized that it was pointless. Their last encounter with a huntress in training had left them broken and beaten, and while he had little doubt that blondie was a higher caliber than most students her age, if they couldn't beat her then they couldn't beat Pyhrra Nikos.

Desperate, Junior's mind flashed through a few different possibilities before coming up empty. He'd sent most of his boys home for the day to get ready for opening in a few hours, and he knew the cops would love a chance to tear up his bar for evidence if he called for help.

They were on their own.

Doing his best to make sure his reaction to that unsettling thought didn't show on his face, Junior tipped the rest of his drink back and rose to face his guests. "I don't suppose the three of you have ever heard of knocking, eh?" He said with an air of forced calm, subtly signaling the twins to let him take the lead on this, "Sign on the door says we open at nine, awful rude of you to be busting in unannounced."

Hammer-girl blinked at him, ginger hair falling around her pale blue eyes as she tilted her head curiously, "But we did knock?" She said.

"Nora," The dark haired girl gently chided her friend with a surprisingly deep voice, "Most people don't knock with grenades."

"Ooooooooh." Hammer-girl said, gently rapping her own skull like she'd genuinely forgotten.

Junior felt his jaw tense at the display, but fought to keep his irritation off his face and out of his voice. "Yes, most people don't." He said flatly, "That being said, it's been a long week. What can I do for you three ladies to get you the hell out of my—"

"Ladies?!" Hammer-girl squawked indignantly, "I'll have you know that my Renny is a man!"

"Um—" Junior tried, feeling a bead of sweat drip down the back of his neck at the genuine bloodlust the ginger girl was radiating.

"You know what, show 'em Renny! Flex!" The girl boomed, pointing imperiously at her dark-haired friend.

The boy (?) sighed, delicate face pinching in mild irritation, "Nora, do I—"

"DO IIIIIIT!" The girl howled, her voice bouncing around the room like thunder.

The dark haired boy sighed but, to Junior's absolute shock, grudgingly lifted one arm in the laziest flex he'd ever seen in his life.

Hammer-girl swooned, then looked around the room expectantly, "Well?"

"Um."

Junior never even saw the hammer move. He did, however, catch a glimpse of the shard from one of the few tables to survive the blond as it flashed by his face and embedded itself into the back wall.

"I have spent my entire life as a straight male," Junior said in a monotone, "All until today."

"Eheh, oh you kidder~" Hammer-psycho giggled, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Sooo, we supposed to lie too?" One of the twins said from behind Junior, making the man tense up in sudden horror.

Hammer-Psycho gave the twins a look through hooded eyes before giving them a chill little smile, "No. You're good." She said with an absurdly fake sounding titter.

There was a beat of silence before Hammer-psycho turned to give Nikos a considering look. The three-time Mistral Champion took one look at the expression on the other girl's face and backed up abruptly, hands in the air in a placating manner.

If Junior wasn't considering soiling himself before, he was now.

"Girls, head out the back and leave." Junior muttered through his teeth, taking his chance to get the words out while the Beacon crew was distracted.

"What?!" One of the twins hissed, "Absolutely not, we're not leaving you with these bitches!"

"Yeah! We can't have you leavin' him alone with us!" Hammer-psycho said from horrifyingly close.

Junior snapped back around to find the ginger psychopath looming over him with one foot up on the bar.

When had she even moved?!

"Listen here, see? We know you're pits deep in the funny business, see? And I ain't talkin' 'bout no clowns, see?" The ginger growled out in an accent Junior couldn't even begin to fathom, "I like clowns, the happy ones anyway, but I ain't yukin ya when I say that I'll leave ya in stitches at the first sign of any funny business."

"Girls." Junior hissed, leaning away from his impending death, "I'm serious. Run."

"Nora." The black-haired kid sighed, moving forward to gently pull the ginger girl off the bar, "You're not helping."

"I'm just getting into the role, Ren!" Hammer-psycho whined, "Come on, you know I've been having those dreams for years, I gotta live 'em out at least once!"

"Later, Nora." The boy said with remarkable patience. Junior nearly relaxed when the kid pulled Hammer-Psycho away from the bar, but he quickly remembered what kind of situation they were in when cold pink eyes locked him in place. "A friend of ours is missing. We tracked his scroll to this location."

"Bar's closed until nine, kid. We haven't seen them." Junior said flatly slowly herding the twins back when one of them tried to snap something unwise back at the kid, "If you give me a description, I'll keep an eye out for 'em."

"We're here looking for a boy named Jaune." Nikos said.

Junior gave her a flat look. "Who the hell is Jaune?"

"Blond boy, about six feet tall; he wears jeans, some armor, and a hoodie." The dark-haired kid provided helpfully.

Junior blinked at them, "What the hell? No, the bar opens at nine. I haven't seen him."

"He said he was coming here to meet with his criminal contacts." Hammer-psycho spoke up, giving Nikos a concerned look before turning back to Junior, "How do we know he didn't meet with you?"

"Because the damn bar opens at nine!" Junior burst out, "I'm a busy man, I'm not just gonna meet with every random kid that thinks they want to get into business! He probably got turned away at the door and left!"

"We'd have remembered." Melanie confirmed irritably, "I haven't been able to look at a blond without getting pissed ever since that fat cow trashed our bar. Stupid bitch."

They were getting somewhere; he could tell the three were wavering. Maybe he had a chance of getting out of this without losing any more than he'd already lost after all?

"Hey…" Hammer-psycho said slowly, "That blond girl… who was she?"

"Some big-titied blond bitch with a mommy-complex and a chip on her shoulder." Junior said absently, internally trying to decide if the three looked guilty enough to pay for his door, "Had a mean left hook."

"Oh. That's pretty descriptive." Hammer-psycho said, "I wonder if he's talking about you, Yang?"

Junior froze.

No. No way.

Slowly, agonizingly, Junior lifted his gaze to the doorway just in time to meet the red-eyed source of all his present misery.

Blondie didn't look so hot. Her hair was mussed up and windswept, and one eye spasmed sporadically. "Heya, Junior." She trilled abruptly, trying to force a twitchy smile that died in its infancy, "I don't suppose you've seen some kid named Jaune, have you?"

Oh dust, whoever this Jaune was, he was gonna ban him from The Club for life.

"You're here to find Jaune as well?" Tall dark and pink said politely, "We appreciate the help."

Ahahahahaaaa… yeah," Blondie laughed shrilly, "Find, kill, eviscerate, you know how it is."

There was a pregnant pause.

"What?"

Junior wasn't sure who spoke, he was too busy wrestling with his sudden confliction. This Jaune guy had managed to get on Blondie's bad side? Maybe he should send him a wine sampler or something.

Or—well—his next of kin, anyway.

"You know Jaune, right?" Blondie continued over her friend's words, batting her eyelashes insincerely at Junior, "He's one of your boys, isn't he? C'mooon, you can tell me~ We're pals, aren't we?"

Oh, hell no.

"Oh, hell no!" Militia snarled, lunging forward to point her blood-red claws at Blondie, "You're no friend of ours you cow-uddered skank!"

Blondie deployed her weapons in time with the wash of heat that flared across the room from her glowing hair. Junior wrestled the dismay off his face at the sight of those golden locks, he remembered what had happened the last time he'd seen the girl's hair glow like that. "Suit yourself," Blondie growled, "I like doing things the hard way."

Oh, great, an encore. Wasting no time, Junior yanked Militia behind him and bundled the snarling girl into her sister, "Get the hell out of here!" He snapped at the girl when she opened her mouth to say something, "I'm serious, get you and your sister—"

"Get out of my way, Pyrrha."

Junior blinked and wasted a precious moment turning around, and then felt himself go weak-kneed with relief. Pyrrha Nikos had put herself between them and Blondie, which didn't sound like much but went a long way towards him feeling a hell of a lot safer.

"What was that about Jaune?" The Champion asked, blocking Blondie's attempts to get past her, jaw clenched stubbornly, "He's missing, we're trying to find him."

"He's gonna be missing after I get my hands on him!" Blondie snarled, struggling to step around Nikos only to be confounded again and again by the Champions superior footwork. "Pyrrha, I swear to dust, if you don't move I'm gonna—"

"What did Jaune do?!" Nikos asked desperately, "Yang, I'm sorry, but I can't let you hurt him!"

"It's a family matter!"

Hammer-psycho gasped loudly, "Did Jaune MOLEST Ruby?!"

Junior flinched when several tiles around Blondie blackened and cracked under the heat she suddenly emitted, "WHAT?!" The girl shrieked at a pitch that had the glassware behind him rattling.

Oh Brother gods, send him a savior…

"YAAAAAAANG!" A high-pitched voice screamed, accompanied by another voice shrieking vociferously.

More huntresses streaked into the bar at super-human speeds amongst a flurry of rose petals. The first was a little snip of a girl in black and red who was actively dragging the second, a Schnee who was currently screaming her lungs out, along by one arm. The Red-and-black girl slowed to a stop when she saw the tableau playing out in Junior's bar, but the Schnee paid it no mind, too busy collapsing to the floor and heaving for air. You know what? Screw the gods. I'm an atheist from now on. Junior thought despairingly.

"Ha—hate you." The Schnee gasped, her perfect hair an absolute disaster and her sweaty face a pasty green, "I h-hate you so much."

"Yang! You can't kill Jaune!" The red-cloaked girl plead, completely ignoring the Schnee.

"Sure I can." Blondie growled out, still struggling to step past Nikos without starting a confrontation, "Just—just give me ten seconds with him, it'll be easy."

"I won't let you!" Nikos growled out, eyes flashing dangerously in the first real sign of anger Junior had ever seen from the exceedingly polite champion. To Junior's horror, Nikos had dialed back her non-confrontational approach and was now facing off against Blondie directly. Both Huntresses bristled, eye to eye, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that violence was only a hairsbreadth away.

"Yang…" Little Red said quietly, the word somehow cutting through the brimming tension like a blade, "Jaune didn't do anything wrong… Please. Don't punish him for my mistake… I couldn't bear it if you hurt him over me."

To Junior's utter shock, Blondie seemed to deflate under the pitiful look on the smaller girl's face, "Ruby…" She whispered, "I… I can't risk this getting out. I know he's the first person you really bonded with here, but I heard it from Nora, he's going to betray you."

"Jaune wouldn't do that!" little red squeaked out indignantly, "He told me himself, he was gonna come here to 'destroy evidence' or something."

Well, Junior couldn't help but think that was ominous.

"Yeah!" Hammer-psycho chipped in, "Jaune-Jaune didn't do anything wrong! The worst he did was grab her hand and—"

Blondie's hair flared abruptly, "H-he held her hand?!"

"HE DIDN'T TAKE MY VIRGINITY!" Little red screamed, waving her hands wildly in front of her.

"WHAT?!"

Several voices echoed each other all at the same time, but it was Blondie's shrill shriek that had the glasses behind Junior rattling on their shelves. The girl's golden hair was physically painful to look at now, the heat radiating off her making him uncomfortably hot even from several meters away.

Little red's face went through a bizarre tableau of colors, shifting from redder than her cloak to a pasty green that matched the Schnee to the bone white that she settled on. "Wait! Wait! That came out wrong!" Little red babbled desperately, throwing herself in front of the looming apocalypse with a reckless bravery Junior couldn't help but admire. Safely. From a distance. It didn't do much to help him, anyway, Blondie didn't even slow down when Little red attached herself onto the older girl in a desperate attempt to weigh her down.

"Junior? Jaune. Now." The blond girl grit out through her teeth, apparently oblivious to the younger girl desperately clinging to her shoulders and trying to yank her backwards.

"I can't let you do that." Nikos said, stepping in front of Blondie even as a grimace twisted her features. Little Red's face twisted with relief at the other girl's words, but for some odd reason the champion wouldn't meet her eyes as she planted herself in between Junior's bar and Blondie's fiery temper.

"Get out of my way, Nikos." Blondie spat, and Junior could practically feel the waves of vitriol and rage rolling off her from—oh wait, he could. So could the other huntresses, apparently, their Aura flashing slightly to protect them from the heat; A napkin that had been left on the floor beside Blondie caught fire.

"Yang, please, give it up!" Little Red shouted in the berserker's ear, "It's five on one, you can't win this! Let's just talk it out!"

"Ruby," The Schnee wheezed, her irritation clear in her voice from where she'd slumped over on one of Junior's tables, "You dragged us out here with no warning, neither of us have our weapons."

"W-well, it's still five on one!"

"I'm not fighting her hand-to-hand, Ruby. Not for that blond dorkwad. I doubt you stand much of a chance, either."

"Three on one plus baggage, then!" Little Red tried, sounding increasingly hysterical.

"Actually…" Hammer-psycho spoke up, sounding genuinely contrite even as she stepped up beside Blondie, "I think I'm kinda on Yang's side on this."

Little Red's jaw hit the floor. So did nearly everyone else's. Notably, the black-haired boy was the only one who didn't look entirely dumbfounded, but even he ran a hand over his face with a tired: "Oh, for dusts sake, Nora."

"N-Nora… why?!" Little Red asked, sounding downright horrified.

"Eheh, sorry…" Hammer-Psycho said with an apologetic shrug, "I'm an agent of chaos."

A dull thud resounded throughout the room as the black-haired boy facepalmed.

"Hey, that's not the only reason!" Hammer-Psycho pouted, "Ruby is like, 14! What the heck Jaune-Jaune?!"

"Our leader's… dalliances aside," Nikos said, spitting the words out like venom, "I hardly think death seems an appropriate punishment."

"Eh. Gotta stop Junior from making Ren into a sexy bunny waiter/ninja bodyguard anyway." Hammer-Psycho said with a grin. Junior choked, unsure of exactly where that line of thought had come from and utterly unwilling to ask.

"So." Blondie said, cracking her knuckles ominously, "Sounds like it's two on two. That's fine. Cool even, I'd wanted to get a crack at the Invincible Girl for a while now."

"Dang it, Yang!" Little Red wailed, desperately clinging to the other girl's back like a wild spider monkey, "Pyrrha, you gotta stop her! I'll try and slow her down, so don't worry about me! I told Jaune I'd help him with his 'problem', and I'm not gonna stop just because Yang wants to get in the way of our relationship!"

Junior watched as The Champion's face twisted, something that looked shockingly like pain flashing across her features before Nikos pulled up an expressionless mask of stoicism. "Oh, don't worry Ruby, I don't intend to hold back. No one who doesn't deserve it is going to get hurt today." She said, something in her voice sounding oddly ominous. It almost sounded like she was—

No

No way.

Junior didn't know if he should envy or pity the lucky blond bastard.

Good thing he knew exactly how to feel about his own situation. As the two sides squared off, Junior frantically signaled the girls to get out of the firing line and into the relative safety of the backrooms behind the bar. With any luck, the girls would slip out through the rear entrance and escape. He needn't have bothered. Militia and Melanie stayed firmly in place, bristling like wolves, weapons drawn and gleaming under the low lights around the bar as they flanked him protectively. Any other time, Junior might have been touched by their loyalty. Right now, though, he just wished they'd LEAVE so he could reduce the body count to one.

Bodily herding the girls back to a more covered position of the bar, Junior could do little but watch in mute horror as the tides of violence swept the rowdy teens before him up and engulfed his bar in yet another costly battle.

A part of him, cynical and weary, swore to sue Beacon for every penny he could once this was over. At the very least it ought to pay for some of the damages, how bad could it be?

Hammer-Psycho's hammer shifted into a freaking grenade launcher that dusted one of his last battered-but-serviceable tables in an explosion of pink smoke and splinters. "OH, COME ON!" Junior howled into the melee as chaos descended.

/*/

Jaune was walking on cloud nine by the time his new friends led him back to the ice-cream cart that Neo had used to divest him of most of his wallet. He was in such a good mood that he decided to humor her when she made doe eyes at him (she wasn't quite as good at it as his baby sister, anyway), buying her another heaping pile of frozen goodness that had the short girl skipping along happily beside him. Apparently the tailor Clockwork (He was pretty sure the man had given him his name once already, but he couldn't remember and it seemed like rude to ask) and Neo had taken them to had gotten a number of Beacon uniforms ready for fitting, anticipating a big order near the start of the school year that had never come through. As they said: one man's misfortune became Jaune's opportunity, and Clockwork had been able to help him get a few pieces at a steep discount that should fit Ren and himself well enough until the man finished adjustments. He'd even bought a uniform for Neo, and Jaune hadn't even known she WENT to Beacon!

"Thanks again for donating your friend's uniform, kid." Clockwork said with a smarmy smile, "I got a boss that has a kid that might be joining you guys next term—real momma's girl type, you know?—and I'm sure she'll appreciate the contribution. Fit's not far off, either, actually."

Neo joined her… coworker? In a fit of silent laughter inspired by his last comment. Jaune didn't really get it, but he chuckled along just to keep the good mood going. Things were really starting to look up for him, after all, and he didn't want his new friends to think he wasn't cool or something!

Unfortunately, the mood wasn't meant to last. They'd just rounded the corner that lead to a bar Clockwork said he had some business at when Jaune pulled up short. "Uh oh…" He said quietly, noting the unconscious bouncers and trashed door, "I don't think that's a good sign."

Clockwork took a long puff of yet another cigar he'd procured at some point (Jaune suspected the man might have some sort of semblance relating to smoking, but he was too nervous to ask), "Nope." The man said simply, his words capped by a muffled explosion from within the business.

"What should we do?" Jaune asked quickly, feeling more than a little panicky, "Someone could be getting hurt!"

Silence answered him. Turning, Jaune found himself alone in the alleyway. "Oh right, civilian, duh." He said, bonking himself on the head for his own stupidity. He couldn't ask those two to get involved, they weren't the ones enrolled in Vale's Huntsman academy! From what Clockwork had said, he was sure Neo could have held her own, but she'd likely decided to prioritize getting her coworker out of danger! Jaune wasn't certain what had happened to an upfront seeming guy like Clockwork to leave him needing a cane, but he figured it wasn't his place to ask.

Still, as he found himself facing the cavernous maw of the 'The Club', he couldn't help but wish his new friends had remained by his side. "Come on Jaune," He growled, slapping his cheeks lightly to knock the selfish thought out of his head, "You signed up to be a hero, it's about damn time you start acting like one!"

He didn't need combat training to do the right thing, after all!

Bolstered by that thought, Jaune pushed through the shattered doorway on shaky legs and rushed towards the sounds of combat. Pulling out his scroll on the way, he pulled up his Beacon ID and prayed that nobody fighting was too clever. "Huntsman, nobody move!" He shouted, jumping out onto the shattered remains of a dancefloor and brandishing his ID with all the limited courage he had available, desperately hoping no one noticed the way his voice cracked on the last word.

To say that a bizarre scene greeted him would be an understatement.

"Wait, guys?!"

/*/

It had only been a few minutes since Junior's bar had become ground zero to the second Huntress brawl in as many weeks, but it had felt like an eternity. "Damn." Militia muttered, "Blondie's not doing too bad against Nikos."

"Makes me feel a bit better about last time." Junior agreed absently.

"Stupid fat bitch." Melannie concurred, and all three of them winced lightly as Hammer-psycho reduced another table to matchsticks. At least Junior wasn't struggling to keep his girls out of the fight anymore.

Privately, Junior couldn't help but think that Nikos could have taken Blondie apart a lot faster if her friend hadn't decided to switch sides. Even with her remaining ally, it was clear that this fight was far from balanced. Pinkie was swift and agile, but it was clear at a glance that this was a bad matchup for him. Both girls he was up against were powerhouses, and Junior could say from experience that Blondie just hit back harder the longer the fight went on.

"Hmph." The Schnee heiress snorted, carefully filing a nail as she glanced over the battle with a bored expression, "That's quite the language coming from someone cowering on the sidelines."

"Watch it, slut." Melannie snarled, "I don't see you jumping in between that!"

"I don't have my weapon." The Schnee said condescendingly, pointedly looking at the blades attached to Melannie's feet.

"The fuck you even doing over here?!" Militia growled, pointing a red-tipped claw at the snooty girl, "If you're gonna talk shit, go find your own spot!"

"Hmph, as if." The Schnee said, rolling her eyes, "I'd leave, but I doubt my new 'Team Leader' would appreciate it. I figured that if I had to be here anyway, you'd know the best place to sit to avoid getting involved in that stupidity."

"Weiss, help me!" Little red shrieked from her position on her sister's back as the brawl briefly flashed past their position behind the bar, thankfully providing the distraction needed to stop the girls from disemboweling the white-haired brat.

"You're doing great, Ruby." The Schnee said absently, clearly getting comfortable on the barstool she was occupying. A Schnee taking what they wanted without care for anyone else. Shocker.

"You're usel—ow! Pyhrra!" Little red shrieked, catching another bullet from The Champion midsentence.

"I'm sorry!" Nikos called out, her voice sickly sweet, "Yang's moving around too much!"

Junior couldn't help but think that The Champion was missing a little too consistently to be attributed to just that, but he was not opening that can of worms.

"We gotta stop this shit, I mean, they're gonna bring the whole fuckin' place down!" Melannie stressed, wincing as a stray round shattered one of the new glass displays they'd brought in.

"For what it's worth, this place could use with some serious redecorating anyway." The Schnee said off-handedly.

The three gangsters stared at the girl with a mix of incredulous anger and seething hatred. "That's it. I'm gonna gut her." Militia spat, stomping toward the heiress with murder in her eyes.

"Huntsman, nobody move!" A shrill voice screamed over the sounds of combat.

"Ah, shit." Junior groaned, carefully peeking over the counter to look at the newcomer. As much as he'd like to get these kids out of his bar, he didn't think they needed any more help trashing his property. The fact that this newcomer likely had the backing of the law, meaning that anything he saw could come back to bite Junior later, was another negative.

"Wait, guys?!" The scraggly looking blond kid exclaimed from his place by the door, where he was holding his scroll towards them like a shield. Likely not an actual Huntsman, then, from the look of him he was probably just another… student…

Junior felt his neck crawl as a horrible thought occurred to him.

"Jaune." Nikos said, her voice oddly flat.

"Jaune?!" Little red shrieked, abruptly doubling her (fruitless attempts) to wrestle her sister to the ground.

Said sister's hair flared blinding gold at the sound of the soon-to-be-dead kid's name, making the girl spider-monkeying to her back cry out in shock as her aura flared to protect her against the heat. "Jaune." Blondie growled out menacingly.

"Oh hey, it's the pedo." Hammer-psycho said casually as she took advantage of the momentary distraction to try and blast Nikos through the drywall. This time it was Pinkie who lunged in to save The Champion, holding Hammer-psycho off with a burst of gunfire as Nikos stood there looking abruptly conflicted.

"Ped—Nora?!" The kid shrieked in mortification

"Hey, Pyrrha." Hammer-psycho said conversationally, blatantly ignoring the blond kid's horrified exclamation in favor of leaning casually on her hammer, "What'ya say we call it a truce until Yang gets one good hit in?"

Nikos twitched back towards the other girl from where she'd been alternating glaring holes through the back of Little red's head and the scraggly kid's with a conflicted expression. "What? No, no I can't do that!" She said a little too quickly.

Hammer-psycho's lips spread into an evil smile, "C'moooooooon, you know you want to!" She wheedled, "Besides, Yang deserves to get a solid hit in for her sister's honor and stuff."

Junior went abruptly cold when he saw the sudden confliction spread across Nikos' face. "I shouldn't…" The Champion said slowly, "It's not the Huntsman way..."

"Do it." Hammer-psycho growled, her eyes narrowing in a berserk joy that had Junior sinking lower beneath the bar counter.

"Pyrrha, she'll kill him!" Pinkie wheezed abruptly, apparently shattering whatever spell Hammer-psycho had been weaving around The Champion and making her jump. It was apparent that both girls had forgotten he was still there.

"Psssh, it's fine." Hammer-psycho said airily, recovering first and waving one hand in front of her as if to swat away a pesky insect, "Besides, I've distracted you guys long enough anyway."

Pinkie's eyes widened in sudden horror as he turned, face going ashen and—in the bravest example of the bro code Junior had ever seen—screamed: "Jaune, LOOK OUT!"

"Yang, NO!" A tinny voice screeched at approximately the same time.

Too little, too late. Blondie roared out a battle cry that was quickly overshadowed by a shockingly high-pitched wail that was just as quickly cut off by a resounding 'crack' that rattled what glass remained unshattered in the bar. Junior had a prime seat to see the abrupt look of guilt that darkened Nikos' features as she looked up.

Junior hated to admit it, but Blondie had one hell of an uppercut.

Junior, the Malachites, and the Schnee all watched with a mixture of shock and sick fascination as the scraggly kid slammed into the wall just above the door he'd come out of and ricocheted off it and the ceiling above it like a pinball. Somehow, despite all odds, the kid still had the air in him to scream as he pelted down at them like a meteorite.

Green eyes widened as Nikos realized that he was headed right for her.

Time seemed to stand still.

The Champion rolled out of the way with a startled yelp in a fair display of self-preservation, if not team cohesion as the kid slammed into the ground in a veritable explosion of broken furniture and tiling.

"I-I'm sorry!" Nikos cried out. Junior couldn't find it in his heart to blame her.

Blondie stood panting by the doorway, the fire in her hair burned apparently burned out from the hit. Abruptly, she jumped in the air and let out a surprised shriek, "OW! Ruby?! Did you just bite me?!"

"Pho!" Little red spat to the side, "You taste bad, and you're a big—stinky—dumb—You're a stupid jerk and I hate you!"

To Junior's utter shock, Blondie staggered under the smaller girl's verbal… assault seemed like a really strong word for this… Her words. Blondie seemed to stagger under the younger girl's words like she'd been shot. "R-Ruby—I—"

"NO!" Little red shrieked, finally removing herself from Blondie's back and stomping around to face her sister. The little girl planted her fists on her hips, her cheeks puffing out in a way that was frankly unnervingly cute, "I can't believe you'd just attack my first-ever friend that I made here!"

"B-but—He—Ruby, he—he t-touched you…" Blondie stammered, her face shockingly pale as she stared at the younger girl with wide lavender eyes.

"He was just taking me somewhere!" Little red shrieked, throwing up her hands in agitation, "So what if it was my first time holding hands with a guy, he didn't know it was my hand-holding virginity, and it wasn't like that anyway!"

"Ooooooh." Hammer-psycho said abruptly from beside the crater, drawing attention back to herself just in time for Junior to be immensely alarmed that she'd apparently been getting ready to swing her hammer at the poor kid while he was down. "Wait, is that what she meant by 'virginity', Jaune-Jaune?"

"Who's Jaune-Jaune?" The kid mumbled woozily, shocking Junior. He'd been on the receiving end of one of Blondies punches, so he spoke from experience when he said that the fact that the kid was still conscious was rather impressive.

"We thought you had sex with her." Hammer-psycho clarified helpfully. To Junior's alarm, she raised her hammer again with a cheery smile as she waited for the poor concussed kid's response.

"But we aren't even married!" The kid replied thickly, sounding vaguely offended. Nikos had a sudden coughing fit, her face bright red as she slumped forward in apparent relief.

"Yeah, okay, I believe him." Hammer-psycho announced with a nod, thankfully lowering her hammer and stowing it on her back as she took a step away from the kid's prone form.

Her reason why was revealed a moment later as Nikos—her face now bone white after having come to the (correct) conclusion that she'd maybe-kinda-sorta let her friend get plowed into the earth in an entirely different way than she'd feared—ditched her weapons and practically threw herself into the crater. "Omigosh, Jaune, I am so, so sorry! Are you okay?!"

"Pyrrha? Why're there three of you? 'Re we gonna get in trouble for having too many people on our team?" Scraggly asked semi-coherently.

Seeing that their newest guest was in no danger of causing any more lasting damages to his bar, Junior cast a glance at Blondie and her sister in time to see the older sitting meekly at the youngers feet as Little red continued to pace and rant. Honestly, in Junior's humble opinion, the high-pitched squeaks and growls the girl let out in between complaints and lecturing rather spoiled the effect of her rage. Little red was far too cute to appear threatening, but it seemed to influence Blondie, so Junior wasn't complaining. "You were the one who wanted me to go out and make friends!" Little red squeaked indignantly, "You left me all alone! You don't get to complain about this!"

"I didn't mean that you should go out and—and hold hands with boys!" Blondie sputtered, her tone regaining some of its previous heat, until her sister fixed her with a withering look that had the blond girl shrinking back in contrition.

"It wasn't like that, Yang!" Little red growled, stomping one foot in an adorable display of irritation, "See? This is why I didn't want you to know! You and Dad always react like this!"

"Boys are ravenous beasts, Ruby!" Blondie argued, a tinge of desperation entering her tone, "You're so sweet and innocent, they'd eat you up if I let them have a chance!"

"I'm not a child, Yang." Little red pouted, "You can't keep trying to scare everyone off the second you get nervous, and I'm not gonna' buy you or Drunkle Qrow's lies that hand-holding leads to pregnancy anymore."

"But it does!" Blondie shrieked, her voice edging on hysteria, "First they get close to you by grabbing your hand, then they go in for the arm over the shoulder, and before you know it they're leaning in for a kiss! You're so sweet Ruby, you'd never see it coming! They'll act all sweet and gentlemanly until it's time to pounce!"

Little red rolled her eyes, "You're exaggerating." She said flatly, "I can take care of myself, Yang. You need to apologize to Jaune."

Blondie stiffened at her words, a spark of resentment flashing through her eyes, "No way, I was just doing my job as a big sis'."

Little red glared at the older girl, her cheeks puffing up cutely, "Yang, you could have killed him!"

"Woah! Someone could'a died?" Scraggly said from behind them, making the two girls jump. The blond boy was being supported between Nikos and Pinkie, which was good since it seemed like he was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other. The kid looked around himself blearily, concern etched across his face, "That's n' good! We gotta' save 'em!"

"Jaune." Nikos said gently, shifting the boy slightly in her arms so that she was bearing more of his weight, "I think she's talking about you."

The kid blinked owlishly at his teammate, "Did I die? Is this the afterlife?"

"No, Jaune." Pinkie answered him gently, mouth creased as he shot Hammer-psycho an irritated look. The girl just shrugged apologetically, as if to say: What can you do?

"Oh." Scraggly said, nodding sagely, "Why'd she try'an kill me?"

"You held hands with my baby sister!" Blondie shouted, shooting to her feet as her eyes flashed back to red.

"Yang!" Little red scolded, hands on her hips, "What did I just say—"

"Oh." Scraggly said, a flash of comprehension filtering through his woozy expression, "Ooooh, crap. Alright, fair enough."

"You can't just—Wait, what?!" Little red sputtered, her head snapping around to face the kid, who seemed to be shaking off some of the effects of Blondies punch. He was standing a little straighter now, although he still sagged onto his teammates, and his eyes were clearing up.

"We're good." Scraggly said, nodding towards Blondie, "I'd do the same for one of my sisters."

Blondie blinked, the red fading from her eyes as she stared at the kid. Little red just looked frustrated, "No!" She cried, "She has to apologize! It's not okay to just go around attacking people who get close to me!"

"No, no, it's okay." Scraggly insisted, trying to stand up a little straighter before hissing out a pained breath and letting his teammates take more of his weight, "I mean, it could just be the possible concussion talking, but I did hold your hand, even if it was an accident. I'm sorry, Yang, I was in the wrong. I swear I didn't have those kinds of intentions with her, Arc's word."

Blondie stared at him for a few seconds, her expression stony, then nodded tightly, "So long as we're clear." She said.

"No!" Little red howled, "No, no, no, no, no! Do not bond over this! Jaune!"

"It's an older sibling thing, Ruby." Scraggly said seriously, exchanging a knowing look with Blondie, "Don't worry, I totally get it. No hard feelings."

Little red looked just about apoplectic, her face very much matching her namesake. "Don't bother, Ruby." The Schnee called out, daintily stepping down off her barstool and making her way over to the group, "Can't we just be satisfied this foolishness has finally been put to rest?"

"NO!" Little red screeched, glaring at the heiress, "This is—this is messed up!"

"I know." The Schnee said flatly, "That's why I said 'no' to being dragged along and look where that got me."

Little red let out a noise of frustration, then turned her back on the Schnee to point at Hammer-psycho accusingly, "W-well what about you, then!" She said angrily, "You were trying to kill him too!"

Hammer-psycho blinked, pointing a finger at herself as if to ask: 'who me?'. "I thought he was a pedo." She said, somehow managing to sound reasonable, "I smash pedos."

"I also think that's fair." Scraggly volunteered helpfully, making Little red let out a keen of frustration.

"We can't just let it drop like this!" The dark-haired girl whined piteously.

"Why not?" Hammer-psycho interjected, "Seems all good to me? It was all~ a big misunderstanding. Nobody's really in the wrong. If anything, you should have been clearer about things from the beginning! You were so misleading, silly!"

Little red squawked indignantly, "You can't put this on me! I'm one of the victims here!"

"I think Jaune-Jaune is the biggest victim here, actually." Hammer-psycho said thoughtfully, "And he said it's all good…"

"She can't be so controlling, she's not my mom!" Little red yelled, stabbing a finger at her sister.

"Sounds like something you need to work out between the two of you." Hammer-psycho said, nodding sagely, "You really shouldn't drag other people into your personal problems."

"Nora." Pinkie said quietly, but his voice carried a note of rebuke.

Hammer-psycho frowned, but nodded to the boy grudgingly, "Fine, you can be a victim too, Ruby."

"Perhaps we can all just agree that mistakes were made." Nikos said with a bright—if slightly forced—smile, shifting guiltily under the weight of her teammate.

"They can't be serious." Melanie growled, peeking at them over the bar with venom in her eyes. Junior shushed her and tried to scootch his girls a little more out of the line of sight.

"Wait, do we still have to kill Junior?" Hammer-psycho asked, putting a finger to her chin thoughtfully.

Junior nearly soiled himself. Going bone white, he grabbed the girls—who were very suddenly snarling with rage and struggling to get past him—and resigned himself to death. At the very least, he would get them out of there before—

"No." Little red's voice carried above their muffled scuffle, freezing the girls in their tracks and giving Junior the second he needed to pull them back behind cover. "No, this has to end. Someone has to take responsibility."

"Ruby, no!" Blondie cried, sounding horrified.

"No yourself, Yang!" Little red snapped back, and when Junior finally built up the courage to look out over the bar he was shocked to see tears in the girl's eyes. "I can't keep living like this! It's only been a few hours and it's already gotten one of my friends hurt! What if it's you next time?!"

"R-Ruby…" Blondie said, looking devastated.

"I'm a fraud!" Little red cried, turning to face the others with determination, ignoring her sister's protest, "My spot was supposed to go to Autumn Rose. I didn't realize the mistake until I saw that my ID was wrong. I-I'm sorry…"

There was a beat of horrified silence, one in which Blondie looked like her whole world was falling apart (heh), and then—

"Question?" Hammer-psycho said, raising one hand, "Didn't Beacon acceptance letters go out, like, ages ago?"

"I-I was an exception…" Little red admitted miserably, "I helped fight this crazy crook dude, and Ozpin said he wanted me to join Beacon a few years early."

"Oooooh." Hammer-psycho said, nodding, "Wait, so then what's the problem? Sounds like you just got the wrong ID?"

"Th-there must have been some mistake!" Little red sputtered, "He must have changed his mind but not noticed!"

"That… doesn't seem especially likely." Pinkie cut in, fixing the younger girl with a serious look, "You're a minor, correct? Wouldn't the school have had to get permission from your guardians? I assume they're aware you're here, after all."

"W-well, yeah." Little red admitted, while Scraggly shifted uneasily, "I mean, they did run it by him and stuff… there was probably a lot of paperwork... B-but still, they must have just thought I was someone else! I accidently said my name was Rose, and that's Autumn's last name!"

"As embarrassing as it is that you can't spell your own last name, I'm sure your parents still signed all of their paperwork correctly, so technically they'd have no room to complain even if they had meant to give the spot to another." The Schnee said thoughtfully, "The paper trail would be all there, after all."

"You're missing the point!" Little red growled, "I'm a bad guy! I did a bad!"

"Pretty sure the headmaster just didn't bother to remember your name correctly." The scraggly kid muttered, "Trust me, he's literally never gotten mine right."

"Y-you think so?" Blondie asked the group, looking shaky, "I just, I—I thought—"

"It can't that simple!" Little red interjected desperately, "I mean, Headmaster Ozpin is in charge of the best academy on Remnant!"

"Yup." Scraggly said drily, "And he put my name down as 'John Bark' on my ID."

Little red blinked at him several times, "Oh." She finally said, sounding faint, "Well, um. M-maybe they just messed up the ID's after all."

…

"Can we go back now?" The Schnee asked, her voice high and aggravated.

"Yeah." Little red said faintly, grabbing randomly at the air between her and the heiress, "Yeah. Uh, Weiss, could you…?"

"I'm not holding your hand."

"Thanks, Weiss." Little red said, snatching the other girl's arm and leaning on it heavily, ignoring the loud protests of its owner with a shellshocked expression as the two of them and Blondie wandered out of the bar.

The remaining four kids started for the door, only for the scraggly blond kid to stop them with a muttered word. A fierce debate ensued, one too quiet for Junior to pick up on, before Pinkie and Hammer-psycho finally left through the busted doorway. Nikos and Scraggly spoke for a few moments, Nikos' expression firm, before the kid seemed to give in and nodded to her grudgingly. Nikos crossed her arms, seemingly waiting, and the blond kid turned around to hobble over towards Junior.

Normally, Junior would have struggled to be intimidated by some little scrap of a kid, even ignoring the fact that he was clutching his ribs and clearly still unsteady on his feet. However, one look at the stink-eye Nikos was giving him was enough to have him sweating slightly as the battered boy approached.

"Hey," The kid said, trying for a smile that came out looking closer to a grimace, "Uh, sorry, I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay over here. I mean, I've got no real idea what happened and stuff, but I hope you guy're alright."

Junior stared at the kid, then his eyes tracked around the ruined remains of his bar. Splintered tables and shattered chairs filled his vision, bits of broken glass twinkling under the fizzling lights like little stars. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Good thing Melanie was there to help him out.

"Go fuck yourself, Jaune." She said eloquently.

The kid reeled back in shock, "Wait, how do you know my…?"

"Your ass is banned, Jaune. Don't let us catch you here ever again." Militia hissed at him, keeping her voice low enough to not reach Nikos' listening ears.

"B-but I—"

"I owe you a free drink." Junior said, nodding, "Don't ever come back."

The kid squinted at him, going slightly cross-eyed for a moment, "Is this part of the concussion?"

Junior's own jaw ached in sympathy, "Probably."

"Ah." The kid nodded, "Yeah, that makes sense. I'll just—uh—be going then."

"You'd better." Militia growled at him, her voice low and threatening. Scraggly beat a swift retreat after that, wobbling back across the room and practically falling into Nikos' arms. The Champion alternated between glaring at them and giving the kid concerned looks, but something he said seemed to calm her and she sent them one last speculative look before helping him out of the bar.

Junior slumped against the bar, body suddenly feeling boneless, and let out a long breath. "You girls okay?" He said after a few moments of just enjoying the little things in life, like being alive.

"We're banning blonds." Melanie said venomously.

Looking at the destruction around them, Junior couldn't find the energy to disagree.

/*/

Ruby had had a very long day. First she'd been a bad guy, then she'd found out that she was maybe not a bad guy, and now her crutch wouldn't stop yelling at her.

Doing her best to tune out another one of Weiss' long lectures on decorum and blah-dee-blah, Ruby sagged further onto her teammate—working to ignore the way the other girl's pitch rose steadily at the action—and let out a weary sigh. She thought she could finally understand a bit of why Uncle Qrow always acted like the walking dead after coming back from a rough day at work, dealing with school stuff was exhausting! Still, she was relieved that they'd sorted things out for the time being. Tomorrow would be a brand-new day for team RWBY, once they'd put the craziness behind them.

"Oh, crap, I wonder if the new girl's been waiting for us this whole time." Yang said, cutting off one of Weiss' rants with the tact of someone who'd very clearly not been listening.

Ruby groaned into Weiss' shoulder, clutching to the slender girl's arm harder when she tried yet again to shake her off. Once again, she considered latching onto Yang instead, but Weiss was much closer to her size. She was sick of looking like a baby sister who needed to cling to her older sibling, besides, weren't teammates supposed to support one another?

Plus, she was still a little mad at Yang.

"Ruby, let go!"

"Support your team leader, Weiss!" Ruby snapped back at the heiress, momentarily breaking out of her stupor to glare at the other girl. Weiss looked startled, but immediately scowled back at her, making yet another attempt to shake Ruby off her arm.

"You might as well give up." Yang observed absently, "Even Uncle Qrow has trouble shaking her off when she gets a grip."

"You could help, you know!" Weiss snarled.

"I know." Yang said with a grin as they mounted the last landing and stepped out onto their floor, "But relax, soon we'll be back and we can finally put this whole dumb day behind us."

"Good." Weiss snapped, "Because I can hardly see how this day could get any worse."

Oof, bad choice, Weiss. Ruby thought, semi-hysterically. The first thing Uncle Qrow taught them was to never give life a big ol' opening like that.

Yang must have forgotten that particular lesson, because she just laughed good naturedly and swiped her ID to open the door to their dorm.

Wide, crazed amber eyes stared back at them from across the room. They were the first things that stood out to Ruby as time seemed to slow. The second was that the new girl was a bit of a snoop, as she'd clearly been going through Yang's stuff.

The third was that the quiet girl who'd spent the night before initiation reading a book was liberally spreading the contents of a cannister of fire dust all over their room with a manic look in her eye.

The girl's amber eyes flicked from them to the window, then back down to the cannister of dust she'd been emptying. She gave it one last shake, loosing another puff of incredibly flammable dust onto her own bed before hurling it towards Yang and diving for the window.

"What the fu—"

"Yang, no!" Ruby screamed, lunging past Weiss towards her sister.

Too late.

Yang's fist slammed into the cannister, denting it in a scream of tortured metal and releasing a puff of dust into the air even as her older sister's eyes flashed red and locked onto their fleeing teammate.

Ruby was in the perfect position to watch in utter horror as a bright golden strand of her sister's hair came into contact with the dust floating through the air.

/*/

"And that's how we ended up getting the room across from you guys!" Ruby said brightly, just a touch of hysteria in her voice. Privately, Jaune could understand why. The entirety of team RWBY was blackened with soot and ash, their clothes tattered and dirty as they stood awkwardly in the hallway between their rooms.

"Oh. Uh. Did—did any of your stuff survive?"

Ruby flinched, "T-that's not important, right?"

"O-of course not!" Jaune hurried to recover, forcefully injecting a note of cheer into his voice, "I guess we should just be glad that everyone's okay!"

"Some of us more than others." Yang growled, glaring balefully at Weiss.

"You should be grateful my cases were made to be blast-resistant!" The short girl snapped back, "If they hadn't all of my dust would have just added to the explosion!"

"Whatever." Yang grouched before turning a sullen glare on the last member of their team, "This one still owes me new clothes."

As one, Jaune and the rest of team RWBY turned to regard the source of their present state. Jaune felt a drop of sweat slide down his neck, if looks could kill he was pretty sure the planet would be looking like the moon right about now… Blake's eyes smoldered with hellish rage from behind a mask that covered her mouth, "She kept biting." Yang said with a shrug, noting Jaune's incredulous look. It was fairly clear that her current predicament was NOT to her liking, as the quiet, bookish girl was wrapped rather snugly in a straitjacket that had been secured to a dolly pushed along by Headmaster Ozpin himself.

"I must say, I was quite impressed with your ingenuity!" The headmaster continued, even though it was painfully obvious that his captive audience was paying him no mind, "When I came back to discover that my fuel had up and walked off on me… well, you can imagine my concern. Still, to not only correctly predict my intentions but to act on it without hesitation? You have a bright future ahead of you miss Bell, a bright future indeed!"

Huh, so that was why he'd been taking the fire dust from the incinerator.

Was he supposed to report this as a huntsman in training? 'Cause he wasn't doing that, and based on the shellshocked looks from the rest of team RWBY, he was the only one who was mentally there enough to notice.

Jaune shook himself out of his thoughts just in time to realize that Ruby's smile had grown increasingly strained the longer he'd been staring at her incapacitated teammate without saying anything. He coughed suddenly, scrambling to cover up the flub, "So, uh, what's that about?" He said, aiming for casual and missing by a mile. Eh, considering the day he'd just have, it was close enough.

"Psh, she just thought we were some crazy criminal organization bent on destroying Beacon!" Ruby said a little too brightly, waving her hand as if to shoo the problem away like an errant pet.

"Oh, uh, okay?"

"There we go." Ozpin said brightly, tipping the black-haired girl forward and settling her down in the doorway. Weiss and Yang warily stalked into the room, evidently keeping an eye on the other girl.

"Oops, can't have her tied up like this, it's against human rights or something. Miss Goodswitch would be quite cross with me if we had to go through that paperwork again, you know."

Ruby went absolutely still as the headmaster snapped the bindings with a smile before walking away, whistling a jaunty tune.

There was a beat of silence… Then all hell broke loose. "Oh shit, she has a shiv!" Yang screamed, random crashes and grunts emanating from the room.

"Are… are you gonna…?"

"Jaune? Can… can I just pretend for a minute that that's not happening?" Ruby asked, smiling tremulously.

"Oh, uh—"

"Can we just stand out here, having this nice, lovely conversation—where no one's trying to stab anyone else—and pretend that any teammates who may or may not be attempting to kill each other aren't doing that?"

"S-sure!" Jaune said, his laugh coming out just a little more hysterically than he meant it to. Another bead of sweat slipped down his neck as the random crashes continued.

As the sounds upped in intensity, Ruby's face grew more and more strained until she finally let out a soft little keening whine and thunked her head against the doorframe. "I've gotta deal with that, don't I?"

An enormous crash that sounded—in Jaune's expert experience as one of eight children—exactly like a bed being shattered echoed down the hallways. "Maybe?" Jaune said, cringing, "To be fair, I think your sister's got it under control?"

"Yeah, but I'm supposed t'be the leader and stuff." Ruby moaned pitifully, rhythmically knocking her head against the doorframe, "I didn't ask for this…"

Jaune thought of his own situation and reached up to scratch the back of his head self-consciously. "Well, yeah. Neither of us did, I guess. Isn't that the point, though?"

A silver eye peeked out at him from under dark locks of hair.

Seeing that he had her attention, Jaune rushed to pull something out of his ass that would sound convincing enough to be helpful. "I mean, I don't think anybody's really ever a hundred percent ready, y'know?"

Ruby let out a frustrated little growl, "I'm pretty sure anyone would be more ready than me, Jaune. I'm two years younger than the people I'm supposed to lead."

Despite himself, Jaune snorted out a breath of amusement. Going by Ruby's expression, she did not appreciate the humor in her last statement as much as he did and so he rushed pacify her. "Well," He said, fixing her with a little grin, "You gonna give up, then?"

"What?! No!" Ruby denied immediately, her ire at his previous error forgotten as she pouted up at him, "I still wanna give it a try!"

"Then you're already a good leader." Jaune said with a laugh, "I don't think anyone really expects us to start out like some great general or something. As long as you're willing to keep learning and trying to get better, you're already doing your job."

Ruby stared at him, silver eyes wide, "Do you really think so?" She whispered.

"Haha…" Jaune sweated, laughing awkwardly and glancing away from his friend's earnest expression. Did he mean it? "Well." He said quietly after a few moments had passed, "It's what I'm gonna be telling myself, anyway."

Ruby was silent for a time. The sounds of fighting had died down a bit behind them. Finally, she nodded, "You know what? I think you're right. It's not about being a great leader right away, it's about never giving up. I mean, as long as I keep trying I've gotta get there eventually, right? Just like riding a bike!"

"Yeah!" Jaune said, cheering up slightly, "And you never forget how to ride a bike!"

"Really?" Ruby asked, looking surprised, "Who'da thought. Maybe it would be good if I learned."

Jaune stared at her, "Wait, you don't know how to ride?"

Pearly white teeth flashed in a mischievous grin, "I've got a speed semblance, dummy, ain't no bike gonna beat that!"

"SHE'S GOT ANOTHER SHIV!" Weiss screamed abruptly, making the two of them jump nearly a foot in the air as the sounds of violence intensified again.

"So, uh, I don't suppose you'd like to keep trying to be a leader with me, would you?" Ruby said nervously, eyes carefully boring into his own rather than acknowledging the scrap going on in the room just behind her.

Jaune looked down into pleading silver eyes that were watering slightly at the edges, down at the bottom lip carefully jutting out in a textbook pout. Not many people could boast of being resistant to the puppy-dog eyes of one Ruby Rose.

Jaune Arc, however, had two little sisters and had just been punched across a room by one of the less feral girls currently fighting to the death in that room.

"Sorry, Ruby, I'm still under observation by my teammates for a possible concussion." Jaune said with a completely straight face. When you lived with seven sisters, you did what you had to do to survive.

Ruby scowled up at him, but without nearly as much heat as he might have had someone else left him to deal with a team full of psychopaths. "Fine." She pouted, "But don't come crying to me when I become the best darn leader in Beacon because of all this extra practice you're missing out on!"

"I won't." Jaune promised with a little laugh, he was about to say something else when something that looked suspiciously like the sharpened end of a toothbrush slammed through the wood of the dorm door leading into team RWBY's room.

The two team leaders stared at it with something close to horror. "I should probably…" Ruby said, helplessly gesturing towards the weapon.

"Yeah, yeah you probably should." Jaune said hurriedly, his eyes wide as he nervously started backing up into his own room.

Ruby glowered at the closed door for a moment before taking a deep breath.

"He's right you know, a big part of leadership is the will to keep moving forward."

Ruby let out a little shriek of fright when the headmaster spoke from nearly directly behind her. Spinning around, she found him smiling mysteriously at her over a mug of coffee. "H-headmaster!" She stammered, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just thought I should come by and check in on how your team was handling Miss Bell!" He said, taking another sip, "But mostly to warn you that you should probably get that muzzle off the young lady before any reporters catch wind of it. We hardly need the discrimination lawsuit, and it occurred to me a little late that the optics aren't exactly ideal."

"Oh." Ruby squeaked, her eyes wandering to the shiv stuck in the door behind the headmaster with no small amount of horror. He wouldn't be dissatisfied with the fact that she hadn't even started trying to work out the problem, would he?!

"You can always let me know if you want any help, you know." The headmaster said gently, giving her a genial smile.

"NO!" Ruby shrieked, then: "I-I mean, no thank you! I've got it handled."

The headmaster nodded, "Fair enough, your uncle and his sister were very independent as well."

"Yeah, well I bet they never burned down their dorm room." Ruby muttered, kicking at the floor with a scowl.

"Oh no, they absolutely burned down their first dorm room. Even faster than you did, in fact!"

Ruby stared at him, "Really?"

"Oh yes." Ozpin said with a proud smile, "This was back when we still had the old dorms, mind. I don't believe they took well to being relegated to those aging things as some sort of petty revenge for terrorizing the cleaning staff. Luckily we were able to claim it for insurance, so it all worked out."

"Huh." Ruby said, staring at the door behind her with a pinched expression, it was almost like fate or something. Weirdly, she felt a pang of frustration at the headmaster's words. She had been kinda looking forward to sharing today's story with her uncle. It would have been neat to be able to surprise him, since he was always complaining about his own bad luck. Was it weirder that she was more frustrated than relieved to hear that he'd one-upped her somehow?

Looking up, Ruby realized that the headmaster was already making his way back down the hallway. A thought occurred to her. "Wait!" She called out, causing the headmaster to pause, "Um, headmaster Ozpin… She said quietly, a thought occurring to her, "Were there supposed to be any girls named Autumn at initiation?"

Headmaster Ozpin turned to give her an enigmatic smile, "Everyone who attended initiation was meant to be there." He said mysteriously.

Ruby stared at him, that fluttering ball of anxiety in her chest beating up against her ribs as the silence went on.

"At least, that's Beacon's official stance on the matter." The headmaster finally admitted with a sip of his drink, bringing his voice down to a conspiratorial murmur, "There was a fire in my office just before initiation, you see. Between you and me, everyone's paperwork got incinerated, so we're playing a little loose with the rules, but I'm sure everyone who wanted to be there made it."

"Oh. I see." Ruby said robotically, shock coursing through her system. Ozpin chuckled to himself and waved to her before stepping off down the hall.

Well.

That changed things a little.

Silver eyes locked on the shiv sticking out of the door with newfound determination. First thing's first: Convincing her team that there was totally no evil organization lurking in the depths of Beacon; most certainly not one that she: sweet, innocent little Ruby Rose was the mastermind of.

No Yang this time, no coconspirators, no one to take the blame and go down with her when her horrible schemes were eventually dragged out into the light of day.

Autumn Bloodrose was BACK, baby.

/*/

Jaune only calmed down once he'd put the reassuring weight of the door between himself and the two madwomen across the hall. Thank dust they had Ruby to keep them in line, her and the white-haired angel.

Thank dust his team was normal!

"I know what you're planning." Nora said, her voice low and threatening, "You're gonna get an eyeful of Ren's smokin' hot bod' since I won't be able to keep an eye on you while he's changing."

Jaune froze, his mind screeching to a halt as he recalled the second person who'd been moments away from killing him that day. Nora was interrogating, of all things, the innocuous little teddy bear he'd seen sitting on the table when they'd moved in.

"Well, I've got news for you buster, no such thing'll be going down on Nora's watch, nosiree. You're going to face the corner like the bad little boy you are! No more spying for you, bub!"

"O-oh, that's yours, Nora?" Jaune asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Nora turned a single eye on him, keeping the majority of her attention on the bear as she plunked it down facing the corner with a satisfied snort. "Silly Jaune-Jaune, do I look like the type to like teddy-bears?"

"Didn't you ride an Ursa to death during initiation?" Jaune's mouth asked without permission.

Nora paused, then raised a finger to her lips and tapped them in thought. "Huh, fair enough, Jaune-Jaune; I guess I am!"

"Soooooo….?"

"It's mine. So don't touch it, okay?" Nora said brightly, skipping over to him with a wide smile, "Definitely don't turn it around to face the showers, or I'll be upset~"

"Oh, yeah, okay?" Jaune said, blinking at the wild redhead as she laughed, booped him on the nose and scampered out the door after calling back that she wanted to see how team RWBY was holding up.

"Okay." Jaune said into the now empty room, "Normalish."

It would have to do.

/*/

Across the school, Ozpin stared at the wall through the little cameras embedded in the bear's eyes and listened to the boy's sigh with an amused smile. He didn't see what the young Mr. Bark had to complain about; normal was boring. On that note, he watched with great interest as team RWBY's little leader finally made her debut, bursting through the door in a shower of petals and rampant enthusiasm.

Oh yes, he could use this. Project Moe was a go.

/*/

Glynda Goodwitch shivered slightly, looking up abruptly and scanning the hallways she was passing through with suspicion. She had the most horrible impression that something truly ridiculous was about to happen. Shaking off the bad feeling, she gave one of the members of team CRDL a tight smile as she gave them the last of their new suitcases full of Beacon uniforms. If Ozpin thought any students of hers would be going to classes out of uniform, he'd be sorely disappointed.

Now, by her calculations she should just have enough to fit the other boy on her worry list. She was certain young Mr. Arc would be ecstatic to learn that she'd gone and found uniforms to fit him. She'd tried to find him earlier, but he'd disappeared at some point during the day, and she'd been unable to track him down.

Kids these days.