AN: Hello beautiful people. I apologize in advance for this very deep chapter and am going to list:
TRIGGER WARNINGS: multiple types of abuse, graphic depictions of harm
I am very much an angst writer and I had to come up with some major whump for this story to really make sense and to draw attention to the severity of this type of relationship. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is always help. Do not let anyone tell you any differently, even yourself.
Chapter Nine
Day Five-continued
"Edrisa! 'Drisa, it's okay," Malcolm exclaims falling down beside his friend. Edrisa was sobbing into her hands, her phone had scattered across the floor. She was shaking all over and rocking back and forth.
"It's not okay, it's not okay" Edrisa cried, latching onto Malcolms shirt as he held her against him.
Her throat was hoarse and after only a few moments she was silently crying. Her neck felt like it was on fire.
Malcolm pulls her up with him and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before moving them both to the couch. They collapse as a single unit.
He continues rubbing her back as he offers the cold bottle. She takes it and drinks painstakingly slow. Malcolm pales when the collar of her top moves and he sees vibrant bruising forming around her throat. From his own hands.
"He-he killed all those women," Edrisa states.
"W-why? Why wouldn't he just kill me?" she asks Malcolm with a pleading look. Malcolm falters. Of course he knows the answer, but hearing Edrisa disregard her life so easily upset him.
"Edrisa, none of this is your fault," Malcolm promises cupping her face gently. Tears continue to stream down her cheeks.
"He killed them Malcolm. All of them. We both know that it was me. I was the real target and he's going to kill me," Edrisa sniffs.
And Malcolm did know.
-Dr. Danelle Baker
-Dr. Renee Alderman
-Dr. Iza Koenig
-Dr. Sarah Monroe
-Dr. Anita Johnson
-All that was missing was
-Dr. Edrisa Tanaka.
EDRISA.
Malcolm felt so stupid and blind. The answer had been staring them all in the face. All the clues were there, the signs.
But Edrisa didn't see the real danger Justin Tanner possessed. They didn't know she was dating, let alone her dating history. There were just a few missing pieces, barely out of reach. But put together, it finished the puzzle. It fit the profile.
"You're going to be safe Edrisa," Malcolm promised. He pressed a gentle kiss to her temple and held her shaking body to his chest.
He told Gil as soon as he put it together. The team knew and they had the advantage now.
Malcolm would die before he let Edrisa be added to the already long list of names and he was sure the team shared the same sentiment.
"No, no," Edrisa says, pulling away from him. Malcolm looks at her in confusion for her sudden defiance.
"We have to go to the precinct. I have to make a statement. I have to review the-the bodies. We have to catch him, Malcolm," Edrisa whispers.
Malcolm nods, "we will Edrisa, nothing is going to happen to you-"
"No, Malcolm! It's not about me, he killed 5 women. 5 doctors who didn't do anything except try to help people," Edrisa explains getting up from the couch. Malcolm doesn't want to let her go.
"I understand that Edrisa. But I am not going to let you become another victim," Malcolm says rising as well.
"There wouldn't even be any victims if I had just reported him in the first place!" Edrisa shouts as loud as her abused throat would allow.
"Or he would've killed you for turning him in. Or he would be doing the same thing, but with another target. He's a sadistic predatory psychopath. There was no good way this would have ended Edrisa. It is not your fault," Malcolm promises. Edrisa caves and he can see it.
"Okay. But we're still going into work," she says going into the bathroom to get ready.
Malcolm lets out an audible groan and falls onto the couch. Of course he wanted to work this case! He wanted Justin Tanner caught and rotting in prison for the rest of his life. But now, it was personal. He wanted to keep Edrisa here and under his constant supervision. He was afraid for her.
"Ready," Edrisa exclaims coming out expectantly. She was wearing a jacket, zipped up to the top and jeans with her converse. Her face had been washed free from the tear stains that were there moments ago and her hair was brushed around her face.
If Malcolm didn't know better, she looked absolutely normal. As though it were any other day. He felt like someone had knocked the air out of him when he realized that it was her reality when she lived with Tanner. Making herself up and pretending that nothing was wrong. How many times was he too consumed by a case to notice? How often did she hide in her office, afraid to go home?
"Mal?" Edrisa asked with a light cough following. He brought his attention back to her.
"Are you sure about this Edrisa? Gil can come here for your statement and someone else can review the bodies, your notes are thorough enough," Malcolm tries to reason. She looks at him surprised.
"If it were you, would you let other people take over the case and sideline you?" Edrisa challenges. They both know the answer to that.
He sighs, knowing she's right.
"Look Malcolm, I appreciate your concern. I love you for it-I mean, you're my best friend. So as my friend, help me do this," she pleads. That was the moment Malcolm lost.
He went to get ready quickly, motivated by Edrisa's impatience.
When he came back to the kitchen, Edrisa was holding out a container of fruit and bottle of water. He took them appreciatively and ran back to take his pills he was totally going to skip today.
After quickly downing them they headed out the door and to the precinct
As soon as they hit the parking lot Edrisa could already see Dani and JT waiting for them. After parking Malcolm flew out and was next to her door before she could even unbuckle her belt.
"Okay, you guys are all super sweet and kinda adorable in a "secret service" type of way, but you are really freaking me out," Edrisa rambles when she manages to exit her car.
"Just being extra cautious Edrisa," Dani comforts. Edrisa sighs.
"I know, and I thank you all for it. Honestly! But we all know that he typically attacks his victims when they're alone and vulnerable. I am at a station full of officers and detectives who all know his name and face. I think I'll be okay," Edrisa huffs as they literally walk her into the building.
"Tanaka! I thought I told you to take the day off," Gil Arroyo calls from his office. Malcolm immediately reaches out when Edrisa lets out a startled jump.
"That's what I tried to tell her too, but she wouldn't listen to me either," Malcolm insists. She shoots him a look of betrayal.
"Too much work to do here, Sir. And if it's all the same to you I would like to be productive and assist rather than sitting at home with a target on my back," Edrisa snaps before adding a soft, "sir."
Gil shoots a surprised look at Malcolm who immediately throws his hands up in a 'I told you so' type of way.
JT is also staring at Edrisa in surprise and admiration while Dani is fully chuckling at Edrisa finally snapping back.
"Fine then. But I want someone with you at all times, no exceptions," Gil says going back into his office.
JT claps Edrisa on the shoulder with a praising look and an, "I see you!" The jolt to her shoulder causes Edrisa to hiss out in pain, immediately noticed by everyone.
"Hey, are you okay?" asks in concern.
"Yea, just slept wrong last night. Malcolms couch is great and all, but I'm ready to be back in my bed," she says with a teasing tone. JT and Dani accept the excuse but Malcolm flinches at the ease of her lie. Her lie protecting him.
"I'm going to head down to my lab," Edrisa says heading towards the stairs. All three of the others go to follow.
"Malcolm? Can you come with me? I have a few more ideas for the profile," Edrisa says pointedly. JT and Dani back off a bit.
"Dani, I could use your help later with my statement. And JT, I'd like to go over some ideas on where J-the killer might be," Edrisa offers. Both detectives nod and accept her requests.
Her and Malcolm are silent in their journey down to the morgue. Edrisa stops short at the newest body, still bagged and on the slab.
"'Drisa-" Malcolm starts. She holds up a hand to silence him.
"First, we are going to address and fix 'this,'" she says pointing between the two of them.
"Then, I am going to examine that body. Just like I have all the others, because that's my job," she says with a hardened edge to her tone.
"I am tired of feeling like a victim, Malcolm. I am tired of being afraid. And I am extremely tired of crying," she says.
Malcolm nods along, listening to her. She goes over to her desk and unzips her jacket. Then she walks over and stands in front of him. She reached up for the top of her turtleneck and folded it down, her eyes never leaving Malcolms.
"Yes, it hurts. No, I am not afraid of you. No, I do not blame you. And NO, it is not your fault," Edrisa reiterates with a balance of soft and challenging. Malcolm still winces at the words and feels his eyes swell at the full picture of a bruised handprint marking Edrisa's skin. He hesitantly reaches a hand up and gently skims the inflamed area, Edrisa doesn't even flinch.
"This is why you're different," Edrisa says catching his raised wrist in one hand and holding his cheek in the other. His gaze is locked with hers.
"You care about me, Malcolm. I know that. And I care about you too," Edrisa states. Malcolm nods and shakes off his self-loathing. He needed to be at the top of his game, there was a killer to catch. He had to be caught. When Edrisa seems satisfied by whatever she was analyzing in his face, she briefly hugs him before going towards the newest body.
She only freezes for a moment when her hands touch the zipper, but then she's working.
She takes in Dr. Anita Johnson's appearance. Another 5' something woman, another dark, short haired woman, wearing glasses… the similarities are blindingly obvious now.
"Ligature marks on the neck indicate strangulation, again," Edrisa states leaning closer.
Malcolm moves to stand beside her, "any idea what's causing them?"
She hesitates, then she knows.
"It's the bracelet," she whispers in horror. Malcolm looks at her confused.
"H-he always wore this braided leather bracelet. The type that wraps around your wrist. It-it was something he'd use to- oh god," Edrisa brings a hand up to her mouth and takes a steading breath. This is what everyone was waiting for, for her to fall apart. They'd send her home.
"He has a brown leather bracelet that's about 6 mm thick. When it's removed it would be about 2' long, maybe? It's definitely strong enough to make these marks. When tied correctly its a good restraint," she adds darkly.
Malcolm tries to table his own influx of feelings and adds that information to the list.
"If thats the murder weapon, it's likely he held the victims against something and leaned over them. Like the wall in the alleyway or the ground at the park," Edrisa whispered with a whole new level of imagery. Now she understood why it was against board to work cases involving people you know. Now she could see all these women murdered on IMAX HD clarity in her brain.
"So catching him buying a new weapon is out?" Malcolm decides. Edrisa nods in agreement.
They're quiet for a moment.
"Edrisa, I'm so sorry. But I need to know about this dinner he's recreating. With as much detail as you can," Malcolm asks softly. She sighs, knowing this was coming.
"Okay. But can you- can you just listen to it when I give my statement? I'd rather not have-to have to-" she fumbles a bit with her words. Malcolm nods in understanding and lays a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Of course," he whispers. Then he calls down Dani so she can take Edrisa's statement.
Dani enters the morgue shortly after Malcolm hangs up.
"Hey," Dani says, knocking against the door frame. Edrisa looks up from her desk and Malcolm offers a reassuring smile.
"Come in," Edrisa says softly. Dani approaches her desk. Malcolm moves off the side of it and stands away to offer some sense of privacy.
Dani pulls up a lab stool and sits beside Edrisa's desk. Her phone screen showed a recording app.
"You can relax, both of you," Edrisa says with a slight chuckle. Malcolm and Dani don't join.
"Theres no good way to do this so I'm just going to start talking.." Edrisa says rubbing her hands against her pants nervously.
"I met Justin Tanner 2 months ago, during quarantine. I was volunteering at hospitals because they were overflowing and- and I wanted to help. Justin was an ex-army doctor so he was working the same floor as me," Edrisa begins.
"He was nice at first. All the patients and staff loved him. We got close. Sometimes after work we would get dinner together and then that led to hanging out around work and it.. It just kept progressing," she took a deep breath.
"But what you're wanting to know is when it all went bad. Which was about a month into our 'relationship' if you'd call it that," Edrisa mumbles.
"One night, we worked late and I lived closer so I offered him a place to stay since we both had an early shift the next day. I never went to his place, but it seemed like he lived at the hospital honestly. But anyway- he came over and we had dinner and watched a movie… then I went to bed and he-he thought my invitation was double meaning," Edrisa takes a shuddering breath.
"He didn't take my rejection well. He told me that he thought we were exclusive and dating. He-he told me that he loved me and that I loved him. I told him that I didn't intend to give that impression and that I wasn't interested in him like that. I-I told him I," Edrisa takes a deep breath and looks at Dani for some grounding.
"I told him I was in love with someone else and wasn't interested in anyone else," Edrisa states. Dani holds her blank face impressively. But Malcolm, from the back of the room freezes. Up until then he had been holding his breath, listening attentively and holding onto every detail. But her statement left him feeling breathless. Because he had this feeling deep down that they all knew exactly who Edrisa meant. And because he knew based on his profile what reaction those words would cause.
"It was like a switch flipped. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me into the door frame of my bedroom. Then he dragged me across the floor and he tied my wrist to the bed… I honestly don't remember much after that because he kept kicking me until I blacked out," Edrisa takes a moment and she sees Dani shift on the stool.
"No," Edrisa answers the hidden question, "he didn't sexually assault me that time. To my knowledge at least."
Dani's jaw visibly tightens and Malcolm braces in the background. Those words that time ringing. Two little words with so much meaning.
"Actually, I documented everything… just in case I decided to press charges or in case he- he killed me," she adds.
"Where were you keeping these records?" Dani interjects. Edrisa pulls out her phone and opens something on it, handing it to Dani.
"I used my phone when I could, I had an encrypted file on my computer and uploaded everything to an outside server," Edrisa explained.
"It has mainly pictures, but a few notes too," Edrisa says softly.
"After that he called the hospital and claimed that we were both symptomatic and needed two weeks off to quarantine," Edrisa continues. Her hand trembles a bit and she sighs.
"Everything blurs together, but most of my time was spent tied to the bed while he taunted me. He was as verbally abusive as he was abusive-abusive. He told me that 'no one cared' what happened to me. That 'if someone really cared, they would have come for me.' He told me that he was the only person in my life and that I should learn to love him because I was never getting out," Edrisa coughs as her voice strains. She feels Malcolms closeness before she feels him. His hand is gently on her back and his other hands her a water bottle.
"Thanks," she whispers, reaching for it. He goes to head back to his spot in the back of the room, but Edrisa grabs his hand in a silent request. He stays, letting her hold his hand.
She continues after a quick drink.
"After two weeks of pretty much the same treatment, he had me wrapped around his finger. At that point I may have been delirious to be honest. I just wanted it to stop," she whispers.
"We went back to work and a few co-workers took notice that something had changed between us. He didn't like the attention so he made me quit and stay home. Every morning I had to wake up at 6:00am and have coffee ready. Then at 6:30am I had to kiss him awake. At 6:50am he wanted the news on with the paper waiting on the coffee table. At 7:15am I had to sit on the bed while he got ready. And at 7:40am I had to kiss him goodbye and tell him 'have a good day, I love you,'" Edrisa recalls robotically.
"If I followed his script, I was safe. It was when I started coming back to work at the precinct that he began getting bad again. It was, wow, it was only a few weeks ago," she gasps in surprise.
She feels Malcolms steady hand squeeze hers in reassurance.
"He became jealous of my work. He would grill me every day when I got home. I was supposed to be home by 9:30pm. When I entered the door I had to sit at the table very first thing. I wasn't allowed to change or get ready for bed until after he interrogated me. He would ask about my day. Who I talked to, what I said. And what I did wrong. It didn't matter if I was alone in my lab that day, I always had to have done something wrong. So after I confessed to whatever it was I made up, he would throw me into the bathroom and tell me to 'wash the filth off' so that he could punish me," Edrisa's shoulder shook lightly.
"It would range between the verbal or physical. It leaned towards verbal because he knew I worked with the police and they would notice if too many marks were visible. But he liked to experiment though. Waterboarding was a favorite of his. Or sensory deprivation. But the worst was the day I kicked him out, about two weeks ago now," she says.
"That was the night of the "Doll Maker" case. I stayed out too late and I was so caffeinated that I actually told him about my day. I-I told him about working with-with certain people and he wasn't happy with me," Edrisa embellishes. Malcolm slams his eyes shut because he knows what she probably shared. He remembers working the caseboard with Edrisa and figuring out the killer. He can hear her innocent "can I come?"
"He felt threatened and told me that he had to remind me who I 'belonged to.' So h-he tied me to the bed again and came back with one of his cufflinks. I-I didn't think anything of it until he pressed it into my hip. I-I blacked out for a few hours and when I woke up he had ordered dinner and pulled me into the kitchen and tied one hand to the chair. He told me how he was sorry and how it wouldn't have happened if I had listened to him and quit. He told me that I asked for it. That I made him do it," she shook her head with a hollow chuckle.
"I was still dressed in my scrubs and coat, because that was the routine for interrogation. But I still had a scalpel in my pocket, I honestly don't know if it was intentional of me or not. But when he wasn't looking I grabbed my scalpel and cut my hand loose. I made it to the door when he caught me. I drove the scalpel into his arm and grabbed a bottle of wine, smashing it over his head. Then I ran upstairs to hide with a neighbor I knew before 'everything' happened. She called the police for me so that no one from work would know. But when they got to my apartment, he was gone. I changed the locks and started staying at work, even before my apartment flooded. But I didn't see or hear from him so-so I thought I scared him off," Edrisa explained.
There was silence for a moment and Dani ended the recording.
"Thank you Edrisa, I know that was difficult for you," Dani says in her professional 'victim' tone. Edrisa meets her gaze.
"I know you have to share that, for evidence. But-but please don't let too many people from the office know. I-I just," Edrisa trails off at a loss for words.
"Only need-to-know will ever hear it," Dani promises.
"Thank you," Edrisa whispers. Dani rises, she pauses for a moment before leaning forward and hugging Edrisa. It was tight and brief, but needed.
"You, Edrisa Tanaka, are the strongest person I know," Dani says quietly. She exchanges a look with Malcolm that clearly expresses 'I'm going to kill that bastard, prison be damned.' And Malcolm couldn't help but feel the same way. The thought only momentarily scared him, but it was quickly outweighed by his need to make sure something like this never happened again.
After Dani leaves, Edrisa folds in her chair and cries for a single minute. Malcolm lets her work through the weight of everything she just shared.
She straightened after her minute and went right back to reviewing her notes as if nothing had happened.
"Edrisa, talk to me," Malcolm says, taking the stool Dani abandoned. Edrisa sighed.
"I'm tired of talking about it, I'm tired of feeling like this. I just want to catch him and forget that this ever happened," Edrisa pleads.
Malcolm lets it go. Gives her space to breath. He stays close by, only leaving once when JT promises to stay so he can check the teams progress in catching Justin Tanner. He's frustrated to learn that the ex-army soldier has been very good at hiding, even with an entire division breathing down his neck.
AN: So thank you for making it this far and I'm so sorry, please don't kill me! It was a tough write... Anyways... who guessed the victims initals to spell DRISA? I didn't see anyone in the comments but I thought that super cheesy add was semi-clever. That was the hardest part though because we all know this super-team would have figured out the Edrisa connection WAYYYY before how I had them figure it out. So it was a bit OC on my end, but thats the challenges of the fanfic world. Thanks again! More to come (as I write on an inspired, cafffinated wave with 3 exams breathing down my neck that I've totally ignored to write this instead).