Just realized that Albus would not be able to complain about the Marauders to Grindelwald for a while given the dates. Note that Bathilda Bagshot was referred to as Professor and had published quite a few books. So perhaps she would be invited to some school as a visiting prof somewhere. Perhaps some more ideas for fillers needed unless Albus takes Gellert's last letter to heart and stops writing to him.
1964
17th May 1964
Dear Gellie
Do you remember Madam Hepzibah Smith? I believe I brought you to visit her once and you called a walking wedding cake from the amount of powder she had on (or was that Udo?) I am shocked to learn upon my return from my three-year tenure as guest lecturer in Koldie that she died in 1961. Done in by a clumsy house-elf… Not that us at the Witches' Bridge Club will miss her. She still owes 50 galleons, and I am a tad too late to file a claim against her estate. I am sorry I missed the funeral. The Daily Prophet reported that she was so fat, they had to do a Reducto to shrink her to fit the casket they had.
Ah well, I really had invigorating time in Koldie, teaching the young'uns magical history, while learning a bit on the pagan magics they still practice about those parts. Apologies if you missed my letters these past years. The owl post is a bit sketchy there abouts, even in summer. Did you think your auntie was ready for retirement so soon? You might also be surprised that I ended up sharing a sauna with Dumbledore in the winter of 1962. I do not suppose he saw I was there since I transfigured my hair to fit in with the faculty. Braids. All the witches there wear braids regardless of their age. The only difference is whether we pin them up in a crown or wear them down. I decided to go with black hair for a change.
And yes, everyone was naked or close to it in the sauna. The steam does wonders hiding stuff. However, I did get a good look at him when the headmistress was not monopolizing him. No one on the staff is buying her reason why it took them two weeks to arrive after he left Durmstrang. A trapdoor in that shepherd's hut on the Finnish border would have brought them here in five minutes. That was the route I took. Albus is a fine specimen for his age, and I can see why you were attracted to him in your youth.
I would have preferred it if the headmistress were not so outright in her attempts to court our Supreme Mugwump. She did not even think to introduce me to a fellow British wizard, even if she did not know we were acquainted. I did not wish to get between them, so I just kept to myself. You should have seen how she got Albus to waltz with her for the Yule Ball! Methinks using Imperius or a love potion was beneath her pride. Next that Japanese vixen from Mahou got into the act as well. Doubt the vixen was serious. She just wanted to get our headmistress' dander up. Albus was clueless as usual. When he finally moved on with that Japanese vixen, our headmistress settled for the Quidditch coach instead.
XXXX
Your Auntie Bathilda
P.S. I do hope my delivery to you of Russian nesting dolls made it in one piece. It is a hundred percent Muggle-made, so those guards have no reason to confiscate them.
Summer 1964
Dear Auntie
Your little souvenirs received. Unfortunately, they came with Cyrillic writing on the inside which my overenthusiastic guards mistook for curse runes. I got punished by being manacled to the wall until they could get a rune expert from Berlin over to check them out. Took them a week to get one from East Germany. A week of hanging by my wrists and getting my ankles gnawed on by rats. At least they had a house elf ensure I do not perish from thirst or starvation first. Does no one in the Austrian ministry recognize runes from Cyrillic alphabet? The dolls became firewood all the same.
On hindsight, Albus' keychains and picture postcards gave me less trouble. Even if imagining him enjoying the thrill of flying over the Victoria Falls on his broom made my blood boil. We were to do that together and instead he is living out our dreams with some African kids and their teacher on a field trip. Still that postcard is going on my wall, well, was. Until the guards tore down the entire map for fear that I am planning an escape. I have saved those postcards and letters under my mattress.
Your nephew
Gellert
P.S. Please do not tell Albus that. I told him I burned the lot.
Summer 1964
Dear Albus
What is this I hear about you being courted by various witches during your world tour? I am so hurt. I have burnt all the pictures, postcards, and letters you sent me over the past two years. The keychains I gave to the house-elf to transfigure into rattraps as the castle has a bad rat problem.
I suppose you must have enjoyed it having those females fawning all over you and throwing themselves at you in an orgy of hero-worship and more. If that Japanese professor is who I think she is, you are better off without her – she literally eats men's livers, being part-kitsune. She has nine foxtails, does she not? Tell me old man, did you actually managed to get it up with any of the ladies? Perhaps that Rusalka or Koldie's headmistress? Did you enjoy being nursed back to health by Castelobruxo's headmistress? Did you two end up dancing the tango at some point? Is Mama Lucinda still popping up in your dreams? And what about the lift Madame Picquery gave you?
You are one stubborn old fart. I refuse to believe nothing happened.
Gellert Grindelwald
18th July 1964
Dear Gellert
Oh dearie me, someone is jealous. Look, I did not ask for the ladies to start throwing themselves at me, most of our interactions were purely professional only. Well, Madam Malachite was rather warm-hearted, so was Senora Doudaro. Senora Doudaro took time out of her busy teaching schedule to sit with me in the sick hut after my poisoning. Madam Malachite was well over the top with her hospitality and the Yule festivities. Madame Picquery could not wait to see the last of me when she all but kicked me out of her limo – she was headed to Ilvermorny to meet with the headmaster over some relative's disciplinary issues. As for dancing, well… my bones are not what they used to be. I lasted one waltz at the Yule Ball before I needed to sit down. Tango was out of the question. Well, suddenly it makes sense why Madam Malachite was always hovering about me and hanging onto my arm. I should have been clearer about it…
Yukiko was a bit of a coquette, but I knew she was never serious about it. No, we did not share a room at the inns. It was properly done with two separate rooms… There was one night when I thought I saw her in the school's kitchen yard gnawing on raw chicken liver. Perhaps it was the fox side of her heritage kicking in. I think you do her wrong to accuse her of cannibalism due to her species. The headmaster would never allow her to teach in Mahoutokoro if she were a danger to the students and staff. Mama Lucinda has stopped visiting me in my dreams with her retirement from the post last month. She was 300 and was more like a kindly grandmother to me. If you knew her, you would have liked her too. Her successor was less keen on the exchange programme with Hogwarts.
About your impudent question as to my virility… I must confess that I have been celibate since we parted ways. Before you let this get to your ego, please know that the only reason was that I was so disgusted by the entire affair, I have since sworn off all carnal relations with anyone, regardless of gender or species.
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
P.S. Mama Lucinda reminded me that it is still not too late for us, whatever that means. You are still clearly an ego-centric, self-serving, unrepentant prat.
Summer 1964
Dear Albus
So I was that unforgettable, eh? I remember that summer with great fondness… How you were always so insistent, and nigh insatiable when it comes to pretty little me. Perhaps you should go take a lover or three, or a dozen. It might do something about that broomstick you clearly have stuck up your ass all this while. Get off your moral high horse, you louse.
There was this discreet place in Paris - Chateau Venus - where a wizard could go indulge. Not sure if it is still in operation as I was last there in 1941. Very obliging staff. Clean too. You need not worry about making the headlines, though I would like to see the Prophet announcing the Supreme Mugwump and Wizarding War hero caught in an orgy with some young fillies.
Yours always
Gellert Grindelwald
P.S. If you like to make a personal visit to me, I could turn it into a conjugal one. I have not seen any action in a long while and would like something other than rats trying to get into my pants.
Author's Notes:
Wait, did Albus just get propositioned by Gellert?