AN: This is now my "emotional support fanfic" after that last episode... which totally blew my plotline to pieces. SO for the sake of this fanfic, the "Botox Killer" case never happens and BUT I am going to add/go off of everything revealed: Ainsley/Malcolm stuff, Birdie as a character, Jessica's book, Martin/Dr. Capshaw...It will all filter in eventually. But I, of course, have to adjust to my plotline. So here is a small filler-update as I process and try to figure out the best way to do this.
Chapter Fourteen
Day Seven
Edrisa stirs a few times but doesn't wake until morning. Malcolm has pulled up a seat and stays at her side, his hand laying gently against hers.
It was 8:00am.
She lets out a small whimper and Malcolm is immediately to his feet. He runs his fingers through her hair and she settles again. He had been doing that all night. But this time was different, while her body relaxed she moved her head into his hand. A small smile curling at her lips.
"'Drisa?" he asks tentatively.
Her eyes flutter open at his voice.
"Mmmm'lll" she tries to respond. Her eyes go wide with alarm when her voice refuses to cooperate.
"Hey, hey, you're okay. You're okay. It's just your throat healing, you can't quite talk yet. But I'm sure you will be in no time, okay?" Malcolm soothes. She nods her head before wincing.
"And you may want to restrict moving around too much…" Malcolm adds with a light teasing voice. She gives him a confused look and he lists her various injuries.
Stitches in her head.
Swelling of her throat and slight damage to her esophagus.
Stitches in her lower quadrant from internal bleeding that required surgery, resulting in the loss of her appendix.
Bruised ribs in varying stages of healing…..
The list seemed endless.
Edrisa nods along, not seeming too phased by what he said. It troubled him.
"Edrisa?" Malcolm pushes. She looks up at him carefully.
"Your body is going to need time to heal, okay? I can see you compartmentalizing, you're going to be okay. I'm here for you, to help you for as long as you need. Okay?" Malcolm says squeezing her hand gently. Her eyes swell with tears and she looks away.
"Also, you could've warned me I was your emergency contact," Malcolm teases gently.
She looks like she's going to respond when a nurse enters.
"Oh good! You're awake. I'm going to check your vitals real quick, okay?" the nurse says in a cheery voice. Edrisa pulls her hand away from Malcolm and to his surprise she reaches out to grab the nurses arm sleeve.
Can I have water? Edrisa signs in American Sign Language.
The nurse smiles, "sure, I'll go grab that!"
She walks out to retrieve a cup and Malcolm stares at her.
"I didn't know you signed," he says in slight awe. Edrisa blushes a little.
"I can actually understand ASL if that's easier for you to communicate. I had to learn it when I was eleven…" Malcolm admits trailing off. That was a dark time for him. His therapist tried to get him to open up and talk, but he refused. Eventually she would talk and sign to him simultaneously. He still didn't respond but he was quick to learn the language.
Really? You know sign language? Edrisa asks, equally impressed. Malcolm smiles.
"I said I was good at reading, I'm still rusty on actually signing myself," Malcolm admits.
The nurse comes back in with the water. Edrisa takes it thankfully and the nurse marks down a few things on a chart.
After checking Edrisa's breath sounds, blood pressure, pupil reactions, and a whole bunch of other things Malcolm couldn't catalogue, she leaves.
Edrisa settles back against the bed exhausted.
"Go to sleep 'Drisa. I'll be here," Malcolm promises. She looks at him with heavy lids.
You need to go home and sleep. I'm ok. Maybe Dani stay?
Malcolm bits his lower lip, thinking over her request. Of course he wants to say "of course" because it's Edrisa and he understands. But it was Edrisa. And he didn't want to leave her.
"Counter offer, I will have my mothers driver pick me up some clean clothes and I'll shower and eat but stay here. I can sleep when we go home, the doctors said it could be as early as today," Malcolm explains.
Edrisa fights to stay awake, but caves in.
Promise? She asks, her fist barely connecting with her other hand in the sign as she falls farther back into sleep.
"Yes, I promise," Malcolm responds.
And he does. He calls his family driver and the older man comes to the room with Malcolms bag and a fast food bag in hand. Malcolm hates fast food, but he promised.
So he showers, eats and takes his pills.
Then he returns to Edrisa's side.
The doctor comes in a while later. He says that he'd like to keep Edrisa for at least another day for observation due to her major surgery. He said that everything was fine and there seemed to be no concerns at the time, but to be safe.
Malcolm agreed. He knew Edrisa wouldn't like the idea of staying another night but it was for the best.
He called Dani to update her. Her and JT had been kicked out last night until Edrisa was well enough to have visitors. The doctor cleared her today if they wanted to come.
Edrisa finally wakes around 12:00pm to find Malcolm leaning forward with his head against the bed.
She was sure he wasn't asleep, he wouldn't dare allow himself to. But he just lays there with his head pillowed by his arms, one hand holding hers and the other hand periodically tapping.
Keeping himself awake.
She crosses her other hand across her body and runs her fingers through his tangled hair. She could tell he showered and changed, his hair was unruly.
His head pulls up quickly and he smiles at her. She smiles a small smile back.
She felt much more awake and aware. She was definitely sore and remembered her conversation with Malcolm from earlier. She had so much she wanted to ask, to say, to discuss.
It was an unfair situation to not be able to talk when there was so much to say.
And signing just wasn't going to cut it for some of it. She wanted to talk. It felt like Justin stole her voice. A sadistic parting gift.
Of course she understood that it would all heal with time. The doctor side of her brain could walk through each healing step and all she would have to do to get there. But the defeated part of her just wanted to scream and cry and curl up into a ball. It was all so unfair. She was safe and then she wasn't. She was healing and then she was hurt. She was free and then she was trapped again.
"Hey, Edrisa, shhhh. It's okay, it's okay, I've got you," Malcolm soothes moving to hold her better.
She realizes she's crying. Too trapped in her head to notice the water streaming down her face and her body shaking.
"It's okay, you're safe now. It'll be okay. You're safe," Malcolm whispers into her hair. She clutched his arm that's wrapped around her. It's like he's the glue holding all of her pieces together. And right now that's what she needed, some major glue.
He holds her until her sobs turn into silent tears. Then she pulls him closer and he understands. She scoots over painfully slow so that he can slide next to her on the bed. She burrows into his side and clutches his shirt, safe. This was her safe place.
Malcolm still holds her as she clings to him. He rubs her back soothingly and rests his cheek gently against her hair, mindful of her stitches and injuries.
Eventually her tears stop and she feels better having let all her emotions out. But she is once again exhausted.
"How are you?" Malcolm asks gently.
Ok she throws up the finger spelled word.
"The doctor said that we'll try for tomorrow to go home," Malcolm says. She feels her spirits drop a bit. Of course she knew that major surgery took at least 3-4 days of hospital observation, but she really just wanted to go home. Home with Malcolm.
That's when more tears came out. Home. Her home became Malcolms. It was before the attack at the apartment, but now it was even more. She didn't want to ever go back to her apartment. She was already wanting to move, to go away from that place. But she didn't have the money or means to move. She didn't have anywhere to go until Malcolms.
Then she felt welcome, safe and cared for. She felt home.
What was she going to do after the hospital? Where would she go? What would she do?
"Edrisa? I can feel you thinking," Malcolm teases gently, concern layering his voice.
She pulls away to see his face when she signs:
Home where?
She sees uncertainty in his features.
"I was thinking about my place, the loft. But if you'd rather we stay at your apartment that's okay. Or even my mothers if you're not comfortable with either of those…" Malcolm answers uncertainly.
Home with you? Edrisa asks hopefully. It was hard to convey herself with her hands and face.
"If that's what you want, then yes," Malcolm responds.
Edrisa nods with a watery smile. She leans forward and hugs him as tightly as she can.
There were so many things she wanted to say, to tell him. But she just hoped her hug conveyed everything her voice couldn't. Gratitude. Relief. Love.
He hugs her back gently but sternly.
She pulls away and lets a choked laugh bubble out.
You can't lose me that easy Mal. she teases, sticking her tongue out for emphasis.
"I don't plan on losing you 'Drisa," Malcolm says in such a soft tone she feels herself shiver.
He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
"I know we have a lot to talk about. A lot to work through. But all I care about right now is making sure that you're safe and cared for, okay? We have all the time in the world to talk later. Right now I just want to focus and worry about you," Malcolm says sincerely.
What about you? Edrisa presses.
Malcolm shakes his head at her immediate concern for his well being.
"I'm fine. I'm not the one in a hospital bed….well, supposed to be anyway," Malcolm amends as he still stays in the small space with her.
She gives him a look.
You were hurt too. I know you have to hurt. And you're exhausted. Edrisa signs using her face to emphasize her words.
"Nothing I haven't dealt with before. I'll be fine, I promise," Malcolm responds. Edrisa looks like she'd roll her eyes, if her head didn't hurt so badly.
Dani stay with me? You go home? Please. Just for a few hours? Edrisa pleads.
Malcolm feels his resolve breaking.
"Okay, fine. But if you need me, for any reason at all, I will be here," Malcolm relents.
Thank you Mal. she signs with a relieved smile. Malcolm returns her smile and squeezes her hand lightly.
"I'll call Dani and ask when she can come in. Her and JT have been asking about you," Malcolm reveals. Edrisa feels her smile slip a bit.
I miss them. Edrisa admits. But something in her expression has Malcolm confused.
"What're you worried about?" Malcolm presses gently.
Nothing, I'm fine. She shrugs off.
Malcolm gives her a look.
"We both know that's not true," Malcolm says.
I could say the same for you. Edrisa challenges. Malcolm bites his tongue.
With everything going on he still had the whole 'Ainsley' thing in the back of his mind. He didn't forget at all, the image of her bloodied clothes and stoic face ingrained in his head. He had someone in Edrisa's lab running an analysis on a piece of her sweater and it had been a whole week...they definitely were no Edrisa Tanaka. The wait was killing him, no pun intended, but there was no new body that fit an attack she could have caused. There was no leads, nothing. And Ainsley refused to talk to him, opting to hide behind their Aunt Birdie who came to visit. Malcolm disliked the woman greatly, so Ainsley knew he would stay away if at all possible. Besides, his friend needed him right now. Whatever Ainsley has done, has been done. And he would be the good big brother he is and deal with it, whatever it was, because he loves his sister.
"Fine, I'll let it go for now. But if you want to or need to talk-" Malcolm reminds. Edrisa nods along before he even finishes. He sighs, squeezing her hand one last time before leaving the room to call Dani.
She tells him she is on her way 3 minutes later.
She arrives and swiftly takes Malcolms old place beside Edrisa, they somehow arrive to the topic of fandoms. Apparently they both love Harry Potter. They're sorting the team into houses when Malcolm gets a call from Edrisa's office. Knowing it has to be about Ainsley's shirt he takes it outside, then he's heading straight to his mothers.
And everything comes to a head.
AN: I know I rushed the ending but no additional writing could do JUSTICE to that heartbreakingly beautiful and sad scene that was the ending of last nights episode. I will write the fallout in the next chapter and how everyone deals with it, but I wanted to throw this filler in while I channel my angst!Malcolm.
Sidenote: I would like to thank my sponsors: ALL THE REVIEWS! I live and thrive on them. A special shoutout to EleKat and dustytiger. You two rock and make my whole day. Thank you.