Albus Dumbledore's awkward family reunion.
1966
31st July 1966
Dear Gellert
Do you have any ideas on how to wriggle out of an awkward family gathering? You see, my Grandaunt Honoria has passed on and I am required to attend her funeral in Cornwall with my brother. This is something I am not looking forward to. I could just refuse to attend, but that would not be setting a good example as Supreme Mugwump and Auntie Honoria was one of the better relations to us after my father got clapped into Azkaban.
The main thing is that I do not wish to end up in a boxing match with Aberforth, again. Funerals have that effect on him. He gets drunk and moody to the point of belligerence. Then he goes about challenging everyone to a fight. Anyone who tries to stop him gets into a duel or scuffle. He did that at our mom's funeral, and then at Ariana's. The same thing happened at Aurelius' in 1933. Multiple hexes and flying goats thanks to him challenging the Malfoys and the Blacks. The Ministry had to be called in when someone let loose a dragon.
Even so, he is still my brother. So I cannot not bring him along.
Yours sincerely
Albus
Summer 1966
Dear Albus
What am I now? Agony Aunt?
Pfft, your whole idea of family is overrated. Please do not feel obliged to play happy families. Clearly your Aunt Honoria was not that helpful to you even back then seeing you were the one babysitting your kid brother after your mother passed. And what was all the business with hiding your sister from everyone else?
I think the whole idea of funerals are overrated. It is not as though your Auntie will be there to appreciate who actually turned up to see her buried. Keep it simple. Not sure how you Brits do funerals, but do you suppose you can just pop up to toss that handful of dirt on the coffin after listening to the eulogy – please do not volunteer to deliver one. Staying for the tea reception is optional.
Is there anyone else you can unload your brother on to? Any obliging sister-in-law in the highly unlikely event Aberforth got married. Failing that, any friends of his or cousins? Face it. That goat-boy is holding you back. Can he be trusted to attend on your behalf? Send him with some flowers. It is not like he would eat them, right?
Frustrated
Gellert Grindelwald
P.S. Seriously, ditch that dead-weight already!
2nd September 1966
Dear Gellert
That was needlessly mean. Aberforth is not that bad. I have decided to attend the funeral with him. Just because your home life sucks does not mean it is the same for everyone else. True, Abe is a tad rough about the edges. He gets his moods and drinks a little too much, but he's still my brother. I trust I should be able to keep him from making a scene at the funeral.
For my robes, I suppose green would be an acceptable colour. I never fancied black.
Yours sincerely
Albus Dumbledore
Summer 1966
Dear Albus
Normally I would write that it is your funeral – taking that billy goat to your Auntie's funeral. However, based on the copy of the Daily Prophet the guards left behind. I see your Auntie's funeral was quite memorable. So the way to stop your brother from making a scene is to make one yourself? When you mentioned green, I thought naively it would be a dignified loden or dark green. No, you had to turn up in neon lime green and give your Aunt's eulogy wearing that ridiculous bobble hat with all the bells. And those red polka-dots. It looks like your clothes got the Dragon Pox.
I bet your brother is hiding from embarrassment at that funeral instead of drinking himself into a fighting mood. Your photo is all over the front page. I hope we do not see bobble-bell hats coming into fashion for the next decade or ever. Is that goat-boy still speaking to you? Or have you been disowned after this debacle?
Utterly embarrassed
Grindelwald
P.S. You must really hate your Aunt What's-her-name. Making her funeral one to remember.
Author's Notes:
The Fantastic Beasts series had Jude Law donning contemporary early 20th century menswear instead of the more garish robes the wizard was known for in Harry Potter. Not that he was the only one rocking medieval chic in the wizarding circles. So Albus gets to turn up inappropriately dressed for a funeral.