The training at Windhaven that morning seemed to drag. There was one less female than before. She was pregnant, fulfilling her duty, Devlon had said. Morrigan and Cassiab had stayed at camp this time. Not in the ring but waiting elsewhere in case of any trouble. But still I felt the hum of the shield overhead, hiding us from prying eyes.

We ran laps around the rings with the females, which was far more successful now that they were dressed properly for training, not a dress or skirt in sight. A few at the back struggled and I slowed my pace to match theirs.

"Keep going, you can do this," I told them, not the least bit out of breath myself. "It gets easier," I promised and we slowed into a stop as we finished the lap. I passed the three females some water and let them catch their breath before we continued with the lunges, sit-ups and more hand-to-hand combat.

I introduced mind stilling this time and set my next homework- a chapter about it. Then the females left, all but one, who stood, staring at the ribbon.

"How long did it take you?" She asked as she watched it flutter in the breeze.

"Some months," I told her. I recognised her as one of the females who had been running laps near the front. "Do you run?"

"Every morning," she replied. "Before the sun comes up so I'm less likely to be seen"

I gave a nod, "What's your name?"

"Maya," she told me. "I work in the bakery."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I told her.

Cassian and Morrigan met us at the edge of the camp a short while later and I raised an eyebrow as he passed each of us a white piece of paper.

"Your wages," he said, "For the training."

"You're paying us?" Emerie blinked.

He nodded, "You're doing the work of one of my captains, of course we're paying you."

I looked at the amount on the paper, my eyes wide, "Is this a mistake?"

"Not at all," Cassian replied, folding his arms across his chest.

In two two-hour training sessions I'd earned more than a month in the library.

—-

I was quick to bathe after training. Despite desperately wanting to try out Azriel's bathtub, I'd collected my things and decided it was best to return to my home. I had taken one of his t-shirts with me, though, but he didn't need to know that.

As soon as I was in my priestess robes, and I'd decided to keep my braid in, I headed to the library to begin my work. I caught up with a few other of the priestesses and Clotho, explaining what we needed to find but not why. Then we each separated out to the different floors.

I was just scanning a book when a small figure beside me made me jump. Even after seeing her many times, Amren still terrified me.

"Can I help at all, my lady?" I managed to ask.

She glanced over at me, the braid in my hair, the robes and at the dagger she seemed to know was strapped to my thigh. Then she inhaled, as if sniffing me. "Interesting," she mused and I didn't dare ask her what was interesting. "I hear you have some knowledge about the High Lord heir ceremony."

"Fragments," I replied, "I came across it months ago but we'll find it."

"I'm here to offer assistance," she said, placing a book back into the shelf. "The sooner this mess is sorted, the better."

I gave her a nod of agreement.

A few days later, we still hadn't found the book and I felt exhausted. My days went from training on top of the house, to searching the library until late, to lying in bed wishing Azriel was beside me, chasing away my haunting nightmares. The nightmares had changed, though. Sometimes Azriel made it there, other times he was held still, forced to watch the general work on me. And then there were the ones where his throat was slit…

I knew I looked a mess when I walked up to the training ring that day. My eyes stung, my body hurt. Cassian set everyone up on their warm up exercises but stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

"No training for you today," he said. "No offence, but you look like shit."

"I feel like it," I murmured, "but I can do it."

"No," his voice was firm, concern etched on his face.

"I need the distraction."

Cassian stood beside me, watching the others as they moved through their drills. "He's okay, you know." He paused for a moment, "You'd be able to feel it if he wasn't." He took a step back towards the training session but paused, "Nesta and I will see you for dinner later. Please go and get some more sleep before you go back to the library."

I did as he'd said, albeit reluctantly, and then I headed back to the library. A bowl of soup appeared around lunchtime and I raised my eyebrows. "You're fussing," I told the house but I tucked in anyway. I'd fallen in deep, I realised as I glanced at the pile of books in front of me. How was that even possible?

You'd be able to feel it if he wasn't.

What was Cassian talking about? As if in answer, a book fell onto the table beside me and I jumped. I scanned the title. A History of Fae Breeding. I snorted and pushed the book to the side, grabbing another book from the pile.

I could feel myself falling asleep when I finally found what we'd been searching for. I sat up straighter in the armchair and slid a bookmark into the page, before racing upstairs to inform Cassian. I wasn't sure I'd ever run so fast and Cassian looked at me in alarm when I burst into the House of Wind, the door crashing into the wall as I ran inside.

"WHAT'S HAPPENED?" His eyes were wide, panicked.

"I've got the book!" I told him and he relaxed slightly.

"I'll let Rhys know," He said and I sat down on the armchair, catching my breath as I read.

In the year 1999, Roshan, High Lord of the Day Court, underwent a ceremony in order to choose an heir for when his immortal reign ended. Roshan preferred the company of men so did not have any of his own children. Instead, he chose his dear friend's son, Kiran, to become his heir as he loved him like a son.

Only one ceremony of this kind is documented to have happened before, in the Dusk Court in the year 893, when the High Lord was on his deathbed but had not yet managed to conceive a son with his mate.

The ceremonies were completed by High Priestesses that resided in their own courts and involved…

My High Lord entered the room in such a hurry that I almost leaped out of the seat. He moved to where I was sitting swiftly, leaning over me as I shared with him the information and ran my hands over the text.

"Is this the only copy?" He asked me and I gave a nod. "How good is your hand?"

"The best out of the priestesses," I replied and a pen and paper appeared on the table.

"Can you make a copy?"

"I'll make two," I told him. "Just in case."

He gave a grateful bow and then glanced over to Cassian, "I'll let Azriel know immediately."

"Where is he?" I asked, my heart thudding at his name.

Rhysand told me, "Tamlin is being difficult so Azriel's moved to monitor the Autumn Court. Hopefully this will be the information we need to convince him." He looked over at Cassian, "We are going to Hewn City in three days to meet with Eris."

Eris Vanserra. Lucien's brother and potential heir to the Autumn Court.

"Who else knows about the current situation?" Rhysand asked, his eyes sliding to mine.

"I've not told anyone," I replied with a swallow as power oozed off of him.

"Only the three Valkyries know," Cassian said, "Perhaps it's time that they too visited the Hewn City." Cold swept through my body and Cassian looked over at me. "A reminder not to underestimate our women in the court."

"We may need your assistance if a war is coming," Rhysand said to me.

I gave a nod, "We'll do whatever needs to be done."

Rhysand nodded back to me, "I'll send Morrigan over tomorrow to go through details with you all." He turned to walk away but paused, "Thank you for your help, Gwyneth."

"You're welcome, My Lord."

He gave me a smile before he left, his last words being, "Call me Rhys."

—-

I spent the rest of the afternoon making the first copy of the book and Cassian flew it over to Rhysand as I sat at the table with Nesta.

"What's the Hewn City like?" I asked her as she filed her nails.

She wrinkled her nose, "I presume you've read about it."

"I don't need a Geography lesson, I know all of that," I replied, "But you've been there."

"Rhys is more vile there," She replied. "The arrogant bastard is crueller, they're afraid of him. In fact… Cass, Az and Mor are all pretty intimidating there too. They're feared. In that respect, I suppose I was able to fit in fairly easily. Elain found it difficult, though, it's very much everything she stands against and I can't imagine her attending again. The music is beautiful but the dancing is cruel, wicked and sexual and torture is common practise." She made a face, "And Keir is an asshole."

"And Eris? Rhys seems to trust him?"

"Eris wants to take over the Autumn Court… I suppose it couldn't get much worse than Beron ruling it, but that doesn't mean that Rhys and the others like him. Not after what he did to Mor." She looked thoughtful, "But he says he has his reasons and only the two of them know what really happened." She shrugged. "I can't really critique anyone's behaviour, not when I've not had the best history." She placed down her nail file, "And I suppose it was fun to dance with him and make Cass jealous."

"I heard that," He grumbled as he walked into the room.

"That was the idea."

I smiled at the playfulness between the two of them. They insulted and teased each other but in reality they had so much love and passion for each other. They were well-matched. Three glasses of wine appeared on the table with a bottle for top-ups and Cassian took a sip almost instantly.

"What's it like being mates?" I asked them both. Cassian immediately started to choke on his wine and he and Nesta glanced at each other. "What?"

"Nothing," Nesta said but I wondered what exchange was really going on between them. She nudged Cassian with her leg and he gave an awkward smile.

"It's… nice," Cassian said.

"Nice?" Nesta snorted.

"Well you explain then," He fired back at her.

She shifted awkwardly and I raised an eyebrow at her. She took a deep breath and then answered, "I mean we didn't really start off on the best foot… so maybe we're not the best example."

"Helpful," I replied.

"Can't you just read about this in the library?" Cassian asked, looking hopeful.

"So someone from centuries ago can tell me what their research says when they've probably never had a mate themselves?" I glanced between the two of them, "What's wrong with you both this evening?"

"Nothing," Nesta insisted and they gave each other a look again before turning back to face me. "When you touch it's not like anything else you can ever imagine, everything just feels so much better. When you're apart it hurts and you feel like there's this invisible thread pulling you, trying to lead you back to them. And if they're hurting… emotionally or physically… you can feel their panic."

My shadows… they seem to like you

I've not done anything like this before. I'm not even sure if I'm doing it right.

The sparks, the yearning, all of it. I feel it too.

All of this…It's yours.

You'd be able to feel it if he wasn't.

My heart thudded in my chest. No, I was being ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

I blinked. Cassian and Nesta were still watching me.

"But it's really rare right? I can't remember the statistics but it's rare."

Cassian gave a nod but didn't say anything.

Yes, ridiculous. I gulped down my glass of wine. Why would the Mother bless me with a mate anyway? I didn't deserve one. I stood up abruptly, "I need to go."

And as I hurried out of the house, the last thing I heard was

"Shit," from Cassian's mouth.

I found myself in the library, where I'd run past Clotho like a crazed woman. She'd let me go and I made my way down to where the book was that had appeared earlier that day on my desk. I flicked through it, finding the chapter about mates.

Extremely rare…the bond is not always obvious at first but sometimes develops as time goes on or when the two fae take each other to bed for the first time… is reported that the senses are stronger for mates… physical touch can leave a more pleasurable effect… deeper feelings can be experienced quicker… some couples can communicate with each other telepathically, although this is not always evident at first… a feeling like a pull towards one another… feeling when the other is severely injured or distressed…

I didn't even realise I was crying until Nesta was in front of me, her hands on my shoulders.

"Oh, Gwyn," She whispered.

"I don't understand," I told her, "If it's so rare then why me? I don't deserve-"

"No, don't do this to yourself," She said and looked up at the ceiling. "It's been so obvious for so damned long and it's just taken so long for you both to see it."

"Who knows?"

"Cass, me… pretty sure Amren knows, Emerie has her suspicions as does Rhys…"

Interesting, Amren had said in the library a few days ago when she'd glanced at me and sniffed. Had she scented it?

"There's always been banter between you two and then his shadows… they never seemed afraid of you," She explained. "And at our mating ceremony… something just seemed to click."

You… you look… His stumbling over words, his blushed cheeks, wanting to dance, the closeness…

"And he knows?" I asked.

"Not for long, a day or two maybe," Nesta assured me, "From what Cass has said, he was in denial too, kept saying it couldn't happen to him. But that's not really our story to share."

I thought back to the day we were at the beach. Where his eyes had widened. Had that been the moment? And then he had tried to speak to me before dinner, when Nesta had knocked on the door…

"What… what do I do?"

"Whatever you want to do," She told me, "You don't have to accept it yet or at all. Elain and Lucien… well nothing much has happened there. It's your story, Gwyn."

I gave a nod and wiped my face, "Sorry for ugly crying."

"We all do it," She reassured me. "And for the record, I'm disgusted that even crying, you don't look the least bit ugly."

I spent the rest of the evening curled up in his t-shirt in my room with a romance novel and after a cup of tea, I found myself drifting off into sleep.