The dress clung to me like a second skin, a kind of sensation I only felt normally when in my Valkyrie leathers. But with the thigh-high slit that showed my dagger and the cut-out sides, it felt like something I'd expect more to be worn in the bedroom. Our hair was all braided, each of us in a signature Valkyrie style. Emerie looked flawless in her dress, although I could tell she felt uncomfortable too when she glanced my way with her eyes, made darker by the kohl eyeliner we wore. The doors to the Hewn City stood in front of us. Looming. Waiting.
Rhys glanced around, checking we were all ready. A nod from Morrigan and Cassian and they walked in first, ready to announce the arrival of their High Lord. I tensed and Nesta, grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
I breathed deeply, concentrating on each part of my body as I adjusted my posture. I felt the sword against my back, the cold blade of the dagger against my thigh. The pulling of a thread inside me. Azriel. He was here. Later, I promised myself. Now was not the time for a conversation.
Rhys stepped forward into the city with the three of us behind him, three Valkyries guarding their High Lord. We walked in time with one another and despite the crying out and the moans, I kept my face a mask of power. A promise of death. We followed Rhys as he strode through a parted crowd, power oozing off of him, more power than I'd ever felt. There were whispers and I knew some were aimed at us, others at the High Lord. We met the dais and he walked across it. Azriel and Cassian stood either side, their faces promising death. But I wasn't afraid. Never afraid of the Shadowsinger, even with his shadows curling around him. His eyes met mine for the briefest moment and he blinked, as if reminding himself of his role.
The three of us stood behind Morrigan now, guarding her.
"We didn't know you were coming," A male said. From his looks and the snarl that left her mouth, it was obvious that this was Keir, Morrigan's father.
"Exactly how I like it," Rhys drawled. "I'm here for an update on my court."
Keir shared what had happened since Rhys' last visit and then Rhys clapped his hands. "As you were."
The crowd turned away from the dais and resumed their drinking and their absurd dancing. Females danced around males and other females, being stroked, petted. A brawl broke up on the other side of the room and was just left to continue. Couples and small groups grabbed their lovers and pulled them to the side, ready to just have them there and then in this very room. A male crept closer to us and I felt a stroke against my waist.
I turned quickly, letting out a snarl as I placed the dagger to his throat in warning. The grey-skinned male's eyes widened as he let out a small yelp.
"Call off your females!" Keir hissed and Morrigan laughed in front of me, a bitter laugh.
"They're my Valkyries," Rhys crooned, "Quick aren't they?"
"The Valkyries died out."
"And like a phoenix, here they are, risen from the ashes." He crossed one leg over the other and smirked. "Did you know, they finished the Illyrian Blood Rite? Impressive, isn't it?" Keir narrowed his eyes and Rhys let out a laugh before calling out to me, "Stand down."
I removed my dagger from the male's throat and he staggered in the other direction, his knees nearly giving way. With the best smirk I could master, I sheathed my dagger and returned to position.
"I believe I have a meeting to attend to," Rhys announced, getting up, and Cassian and Azriel followed him out of the room and into his private quarters. We stayed alongside Morrigan, waiting, watching and I focused on my breathing and masked expression as opposed to what was happening around me. Time ticked on. How long had they been, I wondered?
After what felt like an eternity, and after Morrigan had swanned around, drinking and dancing, just to piss off her father, they all reappeared. Without even a goodbye, Rhys headed towards the exit and we went after him, heads held high as we did so. We didn't say anything as we exited the city and continued walking away from the doors. And when the last of our group had arrived, we were winnowed back to the edge of the House of Wind, and then flown the rest of the way. Rhys led Cassian, Morrigan and Azriel into the study and I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.
"Are you okay?" Emerie asked me and Nesta snorted as a glass of some amber liquid appeared in front of me as my stomach churned.
I gulped it down, wincing at the burning sensation, but pleased it dealt with the nausea. "I'm fine," I blinked.
"Are you going back to the library?"
"I want to see Azriel," I told her and she and Emerie both nodded, smiling. I glanced around, awkwardly. Maybe a big public reunion in front of everyone wasn't… the best idea.
"Go and wait downstairs for him," Nesta said to me, as if in understanding and then she turned to Emerie. "We can get Morrigan to winnow you home when she's out."
"Goodnight," I said to my friends and I disappeared down the stairs.
I was certain that my pacing was going to make a hole in the floor. I fiddled with my dress as I waited, trying to go over in my mind what I was going to say, but I couldn't think and even mind-stilling wasn't enough to snap me out of it.
Despite the fact that he could sneak around in silence, his footsteps sounded on the stairs, letting me know he was arriving, and as he reached the bottom, he paused, clearly having the same battle with words as me. So instead of talking, I walked over to him quickly, cupped his face in my hands and pressed my lips to his, before my nerves could take over. I felt the surprise from him first and then he held me closer to him as he kissed me back. A shadow brushed down my bare arm and his hands held the bare skin at my waist. After a moment, he ended the kiss and rested his forehead against mine, his eyes searching mine.
"What was that for?" He whispered, his mouth turning up at the corners.
"I missed you, idiot," I whispered back, my hands gently stroking the back of his neck.
"I missed you too," He replied. "I'm sorry I didn't come back here before the Hewn City, I had to go straight from Autumn."
"It's okay," I said, softly.
"Are you okay?" His eyes scanned me, as if checking for any injuries.
"I'm fine," I promised, "Although much better now. Why don't we sit?" I asked and I led him to the sofa in front of the fireplace. He sat down beside me and I felt the concern radiating off of him. I crossed one of my legs over the other as I turned to look at him, my dagger gleaming on my thigh in the dimly-lit room. There was silence for a moment, as if we both battled with what to say.
"I need to tell you something," He said, after a while, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I know," I told him.
His shoulders tensed, his shadows darting to them and I already knew what he was thinking as he glanced down at his lap.
"Stop," I said softly and I moved his chin up with my hand, making him look at me. "You are good enough and you deserve to be happy. We deserve to be happy."
"But after everything I've done…" His voice was hoarse.
"Our past will always haunt us if we decide to let it," I said to him, softly, repeating his own words to me. "Azriel…" I sighed, "I have no idea what I'm doing and maybe some of it still scares me but I want this… I want us … If you want that too," I felt the tear roll down my cheek and watched as his own eyes turned watery.
"With every fibre of my being," He whispered and he pressed his lips to mine in the sweetest, gentlest kiss, almost a whisper. "What did I do to earn you as my mate?" He murmured when the kiss was over and I reached up and brushed a tear from his cheek.
"I've been asking myself the same thing." I kissed him again, just a peck this time, and let him pull me onto his lap. He rested his chin on my shoulder, as if breathing in my scent and I shivered as he pressed a kiss to my neck. "When did you know?" I asked him and he brushed his fingers against my arm as a shadow curled around my ear.
"On the beach is when I was pretty certain but… whenever I've heard you sing… it's been as if I'm being pulled closer to you, like you're singing a song just for me," I looked at him and his eyes seemed to soften. "I guess it all makes sense now though. Why on that night, I knew where all of you were…it was if you were calling to me." His eyes darkened "When that male touched you tonight, I wanted to slaughter him."
"I had it covered."
"I know," One corner of his mouth twitched up, "Is it wrong to say I enjoyed watching you press a blade to his throat with the dagger that I bought you?"
"That's what does it for you, huh?" I turned around in his lap so that I was straddling him and he stilled beneath me. "You seem to enjoy watching me fight and the fact that I'm always armed."
His hand stroked my bare thigh where the slit of the dress was, "I'm also very much enjoying you in this dress."
"Mor might want it back," I shrugged.
"That won't be happening," He shook his head and pressed his lips to mine. I sank into his touch as he kissed me, one hand on the cut-out detail and the waist, the other on the thigh, dangerously high, just above the dagger. He stood up in one smooth movement and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. He sat down on the bed with me straddling him and his lips moved to my neck, leaving a trail of kisses against my skin, all the way up to my ear, leaving sparks in its wake. "Tell me when you'd like me to stop," He whispered into my ear and I shivered.
"You know, you're still in an awful lot of clothing," I murmured, running my hand over his leathers. "That's hardly fair."
A smirk graced his lips, "What would you like, my love?" I climbed off his lap and pulled him to his feet, surprise crossing his face and I unbuckled the belt of knives, tossing it onto the carpet. Then I reached for the zip at the back of the leather suit and slowly unzipped it. His eyes didn't leave my face, even when the tightness on his thighs was a challenge and he had to help me by stepping out of it. There he was, in just his undershorts, the white ribbon I'd tied to him still on his wrist. I swallowed, taking in all of the muscle, the tightness of his skin over it. I ran my hands over his bare chest and he shuddered at the touch as I pressed my lips to him again. He held me close as we kissed, his fingers making circles on my bare hips and then I let out a moan.
I stilled and he broke the kiss, looking into my eyes, cupping my face in one hand. "Your pace," He reminded me. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I… I want to feel," I told him. "I'm just not sure if I'm ready to…"
He nodded and his thumb traced my lips, "Perhaps tonight, if you'd like, I can worship you?"
My toes curled and I breathed, "Yes."
—-
It was a long while later that I laid on my back, breathing hard, feeling warm, my body tingling from the pleasure Azriel had rang out of me with his hands and fingers… on my breasts, between my thighs… I was still in the dress, only my knickers removed because I'd been too nervous to show him my fully naked body just yet. He laid on his side, watching me, tracing my collarbone.
"Was that okay?" He asked, his voice hoarse. He'd enjoyed it too, I realised, the evidence in his undershorts making my cheeks more flushed, and there definitely had been some moans escaping his lips.
"Yeah I suppose it was okay," I teased and his nostrils flared. I laughed softly and pressed my lips to his in a gentle kiss. I quickly sat up. "Can I borrow another t-shirt for bed?"
"Whatever you'd like," He waved his hand and I tiptoed over to the dresser. I pulled another t-shirt out, one which looked a little longer and facing the wall, I slowly unzipped my dress, letting it fall to the floor. I had no doubt he was watching my backside as I did so. I pulled the t-shirt over my head and climbed back onto the bed, snuggling into him.
"Azriel?" I murmured after a while.
"Hmmm?" He opened an eye, close to dozing off.
"Can you…" My voice stuttered, "Can you come here?" I asked and I tried to tug him over me. His eyes softened when he saw what I was trying to do and he moved above me, not putting his weight on me, but just leaning over me. Because he knew how hard it was for me to have someone leaning over me. How vulnerable it made me feel. It was always the same reason he asked for permission for our kiss, the same reason he always laid beside me or with me on top of him. So that I always had a way out. He looked down at me, his dark eyes looking into mine and he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.
"You're beautiful," He whispered, "And brave and…"
"I'm yours," I whispered and his body shuddered slightly, wings flaring a little.
"And I'm yours."