A/N: Warning...there is a spider in this episode. Also, Thank you for all the reviews! They always make me smile :)

It's Just A Little Extra Protein

"Burk and Val…" Kara drawled in surprise as she opened the door to find them both standing on her front porch. She had only been expecting Burk alone.

"She heard I was babysitting and wanted to tag." Burk explained.

"Why?" Kara asked, she shook her head. "Actually it doesn't matter, you guys are lifesavers." she said as she welcomed them into the house. It was utter chaos as Danny had been spin up for a mission. She had been called in for an emergency meeting. She hoped that the two events did not coincide with one another.

"Nothing like being the last one in the babysitter's club to be picked for a gig." Burk said with a grin, he knew was last to be called in for babysitting duty.

"You're always busy." Kara reminded him, she pulled her cover on and grabbed Frankie before he ran out the door. She lifted him up into her arms and swiped the drool off his face.

"How am I supposed to meet the love of my life if I'm babysitting on Fridays and weekends?" Burk asked her.

"Yes, valid point." Kara conceded as she felt he was being ridiculous given they only asked him twice to cover date night in the last year. But she didn't have time to tell him that as she had to go. "Now, he's been fed and changed but there's a list on the wall of numbers, his schedule and dietary requirements. He's also at the stage where he's sticking everything in his mouth. So, make sure he doesn't swallow anything as I will know." she told the two.

"How will you know?" Val asked her.

"He ate a sticker last week, I know this because it was in his diaper the next day." Kara said.

"Ok." Val replied a little horrified. Kara smothered a smile as motherhood was not for the weak.

"You'll both be fine." Kara assured them, she kissed Frankie's cheek and passed him to Burk. He lifted Frankie into his arms with a surprised expression on his face.

"Whoa, he's sturdy." Burk mused as he was expecting the 20month old boy to be lighter.

"Danny's genes. I'll be back in two hours...no, three max. Thank you!" Kara said as she raced off.

"It's just us." Burk said, they waved as Kara drove away. "Why did you want to babysit with me?" he asked Val as they went back inside the house.

"We don't hang out that much and you're Alisha's friend." Val answered.

"So, we should be friends?" Burk asked in amusement, he didn't believe her for a minute. Sure, he was friends with Alisha but Val didn't need to butter him up as Alisha didn't listen to him at the best of times.

"I was hoping we could bond a little and Alisha wants kids. So, I figure I put some time with a kid and see if I like it." Val said, she caved to his droll look. "What?" she asked as his droll look turned into a smile.

"You love her." Burk teased.

"Of course I do." Val said with a 'duh' tone.

"Well, then here you go." Burk said, he passed Frankie to her. Val held Frankie under the arms and looked distinctly uncomfortable like he was about to chew off her arms if she held him closer. Burk inwardly laugh as he was no longer at the bottom of the list of worst babysitters on the base.

"Oh, hello Frankie, time to go play with some toys." Val said, she immediately placed Frankie onto the floor. Burk tried not to laugh as she herded the toddler where his toys were. "So, you really that hard up for a date?" she asked, she kicked off her boots and perched herself on the arm rest of the chair.

"What?" Burk asked as he didn't know what she was referring to.

"You need all your weekends and no girlfriend." Val stated.

"I'm having fun." Burk said as he avoided eye contact by watching Frankie.

"At your age?" Val asked incredulously.

"That is not nice." Burk told her, he moved to Frankie who had found the TV remote and was gnawing on the end of it. "No, remotes don't go in the mouth. Here, have a yellow Duplo. I'm sure it's delicious." Burk said, Frankie grabbed it from him and shoved the corner of the Duplo piece into his mouth. Burk made a face of disgust as he wiped the remote on the back of Frankie's t-shirt before he moved to the bookcase and placed it on a high shelf. "I want to settle down but it's hard." he said, he felt despondent about the entire process of dating.

"What happened with Ravit?" Val asked.

"She had to go back home. She's been ghosting me ever since." Burk said, it stung that she never returned his call but it was clear she had moved on. Last he heard from Wolf was Ravit was doing well, her recovery was slow but she was with her family.

"Why not go after her?" Val suggested. Burk had thought about it, but what stopped him going was his fear of rejection. So many people were involved in his life that it was hard not to be frozen by fear of forever being looked at with pity.

"I don't know." Burk said, "Maybe-" he stopped as the largest and hairiest spider that Burk had ever seen crawled out from a pile of Duplo on the floor. "Val." he said as calmly as he could.

"What- Oh no." Val said, she pushed herself up against the wall with her feet on the top of the lounge.

"Keep calm and I'm gonna-NO!" Burk exclaimed. Frankie grabbed the spider and shoved it in his mouth.

"OH MY GOD!" Val exclaimed, they both watched in horror as Frankie munched on the spider. They made sounds of horror and shock as they were frozen in the moment. But Burk snapped out of it first.

"No, bad Frankie. Spit it out." Burk ordered, Frankie stopped chewing and a spider leg popped out of his mouth. "Oh! Oh my god!" Burk crooned in disgust. He flinched and reflexively stepped away.

"Dude!" Val cringed in fear. Burk nutted up and knelt down on the ground in front of Frankie.

"Spit it out. Now. No, don't swallow." Burk said, he held out his hand for the dead spider to land into. "Spit it out." He ordered sternly, but Frankie pulled the leg off and placed it in his hand. "No, all of it." Burk told him, his hand shook from the single spider leg in his palm. He felt the urge to vomit in revulsion. He hated spiders.

"Grab it out of his mouth." Val told him.

"You grab it out of his mouth!" Burk told her, she was in it with him and doing nothing. He felt Frankie's hand, he turned and watched as Frankie shoved the leg in his mouth and munched. "No!" Burk shouted as Frankie swallowed. He didn't know what to do at all but stare in horror as Frankie's eyes welled up with tears. He opened his mouth and let out a loud wail.

"What do we do now?" Val shouted over the noise.

"I don't know." Burk said stunned.

"You're the Navy!" Val told him.

"THEY DON'T TRAIN US FOR THIS!" Burk shouted as loudly as he could over Frankie's crying. The kid had a pair of lungs. "HE ATE A SPIDER! THERE IS NOTHING IN HIS MOUTH!" Burk told her.

"I CAN SEE THAT." Val shouted back, Burk tried to think of solutions and then it hit him what they should do.

"I GOT AN IDEA! GRAB HIS FEET!" Burk said, he picked up Frankie who was wailing up a storm.

"Ok!" Val shouted, they raced Frankie into the kitchen. Burk stopped at the sink, Val grabbed Frankie's legs while Burk held his top half over the sink. He turned on the water and splashed it up into Frankie's face. It only made Frankie cry louder.

"We have to stop, this isn't working. We're just waterboarding a baby!" Burk shouted, it was not working.

"What if you stick your fingers in his mouth and make him puke?!" Val said, Burk righted Frankie up and sat him on the edge of the sink. His tiny face was red and covered in snot, water and tears.

"Go right ahead." Burk told her, Val made a face.

"Ok, ok, let's calm down and think." Val said, she didn't want to put her fingers anywhere near Frankie if she could help it.

"We should call Kara or go to the hospital." Burk argued.

"No way, she'll murder us both and Alisha will never trust me with our future children. I'll google the spider and see what the internet says." Val said as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

"Oh yeah, google the problem!" Burk told her over Frankie's crying. The noise was of his cries were short circuiting Val's brain as she tried to remember the spider she very much wanted to forget.

"I can't remember what the spider looked like!" Val shouted at him.

"Big hairy spider!" Burk told her.

"If only I had taken a photo!" Val said, kicking herself for not thinking of it earlier. A knock sounded at the door, they both shared a look of 'oh shit' as they knew they were toast. Burk went to the door with a screeching Frankie. Burk opened the door to find a very dishevelled Tex. His hair was a mess, he had sweatpants with one leg pushed up. His flannel shirt misbuttoned. He looked at Burk with a dark and frustrated look of exhaustion.

"What is going on? I'm trying to sleep." Tex told them.

"Frankie ate something he shouldn't have." Burk said.

"What?" Tex asked as he couldn't hear Burk over Frankie. "Give me." he said, he held out his hands. Burk passed the wailing child into his arms. "What are you hollering so loudly about?" Tex asked Frankie in a demanding manner, the toddler quietened down from a wail to grumbling noises. "They did what?" Tex asked Frankie, he listened to Frankie's random noises as if the kid was speaking full intelligible sentences. "Oh, that's bad, I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Tex replied, he used the sodden bandanna around Frankie's neck to wipe the water and snot off the kid's face.

"Is Frankie ratting us out?" Val asked Burk in a low voice.

"Seriously?" Burk asked her.

"He's a baby whisperer." Val said, she gestured to Frankie who went from being a potential exorcist client to a sweet and adorable child who smiled and cuddled into Tex's arms.

"What happened?" Tex asked them.

"He ate the biggest forking spider I've ever seen." Val told him.

"You let him eat a spider?" Tex asked them incredulously. Burk and Val reared back at the accusation.

"No, it crawled out of his toys and he just shoved it in his mouth." Burk said in a defensive manner.

"Did the spider have any distinctive features?" Tex asked. Val went back onto her phone.

"I'm trying to find a google image of it." she said, she waited for the internet to just load the images onto her phone but impatience got the best of her. "Oh screw it!" She changed to a drawing app and drew what she remembered. "It looks like this." she said as she showed him the picture she had drawn.

"That is a circle with seven legs." Tex told her.

"We have a leg." Val said, her face lit up. "We have leg! Show him the leg!" she told Burk.

"No, he ate the leg." Burk reminded her, they both shivered in disgust from the memory of it. "It was big and fleshy." he told Tex.

"Well, it was probably a wolf spider, they are harmless to larger beings. He'll be ok, it's just a little extra morning protein or he'll throw it up in the next ten minutes." Tex said.

"He'll live?" Burk asked Tex.

"Yeah." Tex said, as it was nothing but for Burk and Val it was the most traumatising thing to happen to them in the past 6 months. He shifted Frankie in his arms about to hand him back when Burk and Val waved their hands.

"No, please stay. We need supervision." Val told him. Tex snorted a laugh and sighed in resignation.

"Ok, but I'm not changing any diapers or cleaning up the vomit." He told them.

"Oh God, don't vomit." Val begged Frankie, she looked to Tex. "We don't have to tell Kara or Danny about this, do we?" she asked him.

"I don't have to tell them anything. You guys do." Tex said with a chuckle.

"I'm not telling her." Val told Burk, the two played a game of Scissors, paper, rock which she lost.

A couple of hours later, Kara returned home to find the house was spotless and suspiciously quiet with exception of Tex snoring on her couch. Frankie was sprawled on his chest snoozing while Burk and Val sat in the kitchen. Kara quietly closed the door so as not to wake up Tex as she knew he'd been doing teaching the recruits night combat for the past few days.

"Hey guys." she said as she came into the kitchen and joined the two at the table. "I didn't expect you to clean." she said as Burk and Val looked incredibly guilty but she didn't know why.

"It was nothing, once Frankie and Tex passed out there was nothing to do." Val said in a nonchalant manner.

"How was Frankie?" Kara asked as she was not going to question a nice surprise.

"Full disclosure: your kid has lightning speed reflexes." Val told her, it raised a red flag in Kara's mind.

"Ok." Kara replied slowly, Burk and Val shared a look and Burk tilted his head at Kara like it was Val's job to tell her something.

"He ate a spider that was massive and hairy. I can't believe it fit in his mouth and I will be having nightmares about it for the rest of my life." Val blurted out.

"Oh ok." Kara said relieved. "Is Frankie ok?" she asked them.

"Yeah, he's fine. We thought we should tell you in case you find spider parts in his crap." Burk told her.

"I appreciate that." Kara said with a smile.

"Why are you so calm?" Burk asked suspiciously.

"We don't have venomous spiders here and Frankie ate a cockroach the other day, he was fine after that." Kara said dismissively.

"So, we're ok? You're not mad?" Val asked.

"We're good, Frankie is healthy and happy. That's all I ask. So, thanks for looking after him." Kara told them.

"That's it?" Burk said as he waited for the other shoe to drop.

"Yes, though Danny is going to lose his mind when he finds out." Kara said with a grin.

The End.