Advienne que pourra = Come What May
Late June, 844
Festivals were definitely quite new for her.
As Kuchel enjoyed the sights and festivities, something had caught her eye. Down a side road, a modest petting zoo had been set up with all kinds of animals she'd never even seen before. Little pink piglets, tiny bunnies, calves, lambs all bleated and oinked and mooed in their adorable little way. The petite beings tugged at her heart strings, reminding her of how small Levi had been, how he'd fit into the crook of her arm with ease.
The adult variations were there, of course. But no, what caught her eye were the tiny little creatures that eagerly wriggled around the children in the pens, propping their hooves and paws on the fences as they put on their most adorable faces, begging for attention.
Unable to resist, she hurried over, tossing a few shiny Marias into the bucket at the entrance before entering into a pen. She didn't know where to start. So many babies vying and crying for some love. Starting at random, she settled onto the ground and scooped up an itty bitty piglet, and couldn't help cooing at it as she held it up to her face.
"Well aren't you just the sweetest?" Rubbing her nose against the piglet's, she giggled at the little tickles that came from the pricklish hairs.
The noirette was so besotted that she failed to notice her walking partner finally meandering over to the fence, propping his elbows upon the wooden structure to watch her with kind amusement. Kuchel scratched behind the baby pig's ear, watching it close its eyes in joyful delight at the affection, not noticing how Erwin observed her gentle handling of such a fragile creature. Walls, she had almost forgotten about him until he spoke up. Kuchel missed what he'd said, so she looked up at him from her spot on the ground amongst the little babies. "What was that?"
"I said that if you didn't like the dress, you should have told me. I could have sent for something else, you know."
He didn't quite sound upset– no, it was more of a curious tone than anything, as though he were truly befuddled as to why she wouldn't have worn the garment that he so kindly picked out for her. It made a pang of heat prickle upon her pristine face, though it was exemplified by the pout that procured itself upon her visage. "It wasn't that I didn't like it… if I were in a dress, I wouldn't be able to sit down and play with these piglets, now would I, Section Leader?"
Hm, the title didn't seem to sway him away convincingly, only bringing a playful smirk to his face. If only Kuchel had recognised that this was rare for anyone but her, that she was the one who got to see him like this the most– carefree and content, if only for a spell. "Ah, says who, Cadet Kuchel? Dresses can be cleaned, can they not? I thought you would have looked wonderful in it for the festival."
The mildly flirtatious quality of his words had her wondering, just for a moment, but she quickly poised herself to retort. Though, a disgusted scoff near her had her hackles raising, had the words pittering and plopping from her lips before they could be spoken.
"Eugh, they let people like you in here?"
Kuchel set the piglet down carefully before rising to her feet, brushing the hay off of her rear end as she locked eyes with the woman who had sneered at her, the woman's lips pursed in disgust. "I'm sorry, who are you?"
"Doesn't matter. You're that whore the Scouts let into the ranks. I guess they let just anyone join the military, huh?"
Now people were staring. It made a bead of sweat form at her hairline, as though the eyes of the patrons were searing into her pale skin. What she failed to notice, was that most were looking at her in pity, in empathy even, as if they hated the other woman for trying to cause a scene over something as silly as that. Kuchel felt as though her tongue was tied up into a knot, much like her stomach, but Erwin had entered into the fenced-off area, resting his sturdy hand upon her shoulder to ground her in reality. "Miss, don't you think you're being rather uncouth and judgemental?"
"You Scouts already push your luck, wasting our taxes and then feeding yourselves to the Titans. Psh, maybe it's a good thing you're letting in women like her, letting them be the fodder instead."
This woman must have heard rumours about her, otherwise how would she have known that Kuchel was a prostitute before being in the Scouts? Damn, word travelled fast, apparently. But that didn't make the situation better, didn't make the pain Kuchel felt in her chest go away as Erwin stepped in front of her, separating her and the woman. "Hey now, you're disrespecting someone you know nothing about, Miss. She is a valuable addition to the Scouting Regiment, and you need to keep your nose out of it, and give her an apology."
The lady sneered, thrusting an accusing finger right into his broad chest. "Fat chance. Take your whore and leave, no one wants Underground trash here."
Seeing the commotion, the owner of the petting zoo rushed over, facing Erwin with an apologetic look on his face. "Hey, look, no one wants any trouble, sir. Why don't you take your nice lady and come back another day?"
It boiled his blood, set it on a broiling flame, but he kept his composure, only nodding in agreement and muttering some sort of apology. It wasn't the time to be fighting back, wasn't the time to be giving them any other reason to have a distaste of the Scouts.
But when Erwin turned back to look to his subordinate, she was already gone.
Kuchel couldn't feel her body, not even her feet as she rushed to the stables where they'd tied up their horses. Ranya was waiting for her patiently, and gave her a strange look as she started to saddle her up, as though she knew that something was wrong with her rider.
She hated this. She hated that no matter where she went, people seemed to know what she had done in the past to simply survive, to feed her baby boy. Even if that ended more than fourteen years ago, she was still seen for what she had done, not who she was at that very moment. Kuchel had tried to grow past it, tried to make a name for herself being a seamstress, being a good mother to her son and his friends…
To Isabel and Furlan. I miss them so much.
Tears burned at the back of her azure eyes as she set the saddle upon Ranya's back, and a sob caught in her throat. No matter what she did, no matter where she went, her past would haunt her, it would ruin everything.
Banal, unlovable girl.
Walls, Neora, get out of my fucking head.
But she's right. She was right about me getting pregnant when I was still a teenager, she was right about me being unlovable.
"Kuchel?"
The voice made her freeze up for a moment, but she turned on her heel to face the familiar blonde man that she'd left in her dust mere moments ago. He was huffing and puffing a bit, and wiped a few beads of sweat off of his brow. "Damn, for someone who hates running, you sure are fast."
The sounds of him out of breath made her dizzy, only for a moment. Is that what he sounds like in bed?
Kuchel, what? Get your head out of the gutter, good grief!
The ravenette didn't respond, only sighing softly and biting back her tears once more as she tightened a strap on the saddle. She didn't want to talk about this, she wanted to go back to base and curl up in her bed. Maybe forever if she felt like it.
She heard him exhale behind her, and soon his hand gently rested upon her shoulder. "I never thought you'd be the one to flee at the first sign of trouble. Surely you know the best revenge is to continue living your life despite those who would tear you down." His strong hand gave a firm squeeze, coaxing her to glance up at him, just for a moment. "You and I both know that if you leave, you're letting people like that woman win. Do you really want that?"
Kuchel's gaze returned to Ranya, her hands fiddling with the mare's soft mane. The damn horse flicked a glance back at her, as if she were nudging her owner to speak. "No, but after a lifetime of abuse like that, you just learn to walk away before you do something you regret."
Erwin began to stroke his fingers along the nape of her neck. It was comforting, nice, and for a moment it made her wonder if this was how men normally were with women– that was, if they weren't scumbags. He closed some space between them, moving near her to whisper to her in a soothing yet firm tone. "You're not the only one who's suffered the abuse of rumours. Trust me when I say the best revenge is to not let their words affect you and how you live your life."
She squeezed her eyes shut tight, trying to keep back tears once more. The woman's words just ring through her head, it reminded Kuchel of the rare times when a client's wife would visit the brothel, blaming her for the marriages she somehow "ruined", when all she had done was work to feed her son.
Stupid whore.
Filthy harlot..
Homewrecker.
Disgusting, vile bitch.
Without realising, her forehead pressed forward onto the saddle, and she whimpered out loud, her hoarse voice feeling like it echoed in the stables. "N-Not a whore. M'not a fucking harlot."
Erwin shifted some, moving to massage both of her shoulders to try to calm her, to work out the stiffening knots that were kinking up beneath her skin. "No you're not, Kuchel. I know it, your son knows it, anyone who knows you, knows it. When will you?"
His words were dripping with wisdom, a kind that she didn't have herself. She opened her eyes, just peering down at the ground. A few tears fell from her argent, half-lidded eyes and she whispered back to him, "Whenever it stops coming back to bite me in the ass."
"That's never going to happen. People are going to keep digging it up, going to keep throwing it in your face because people are cruel and people are callous. That's why you need to remember the ones who care about you, who know you." He murmured to her, giving her upper arms a light squeeze, even going so far as to kiss her temple. It made heat prickle under her skin for just a moment, but she knew that it was friendly. "I know who you truly are, Kuchel." Erwin stated. "Come join me when you do too."
With that, he released her from his sturdy hold, turning away with the intent of rejoining the festival, and strolling down the cobbled path with his hands tucked into his pockets.
Kuchel needed a few minutes to herself, stroking Ranya's coat and pondering what to do. She could take the easy way out, and start back to the base on her own, but then that would be letting that woman win, right? Erwin was right, she wasn't the type to just run away when things got too hard in life. She'd done too many difficult things to count, so why was this any different?
Exiting the stables, Kuchel wandered about for some time, but alas, she couldn't figure out where the hell Erwin had gone off to. She'd figured that he would have stuck around somewhere, but maybe she was just too short to see him through the masses of people walking around.
Eventually, she plopped herself down into a spot on a bench at the counter, ordering a tankard of beer from a scantily-clad waitress. Could someone remind her why she got judged for wearing the same sorts of things back in her day, but these women were applauded for it?
Well, Kuchel thought it was a beer, but it was something stronger, like whiskey. Though she didn't know what it was, and frankly didn't care. The alcohol numbed her pain, made it easier to cope with the bullshit. It even bubbled her senses up enough for her to not quite notice the man that sat next to her.
"Hey there beautiful, I haven't seen you around here before." He slurred as he slipped an arm over her shoulder and took a sip from his own mug.
Great.
Sipping on her tankard that was larger than her head, Kuchel didn't deign him a glance. The man reeked of booze and she wouldn't spare him any attention. "Not from here."
"Oh, I see. Well, I don't see a ring on your finger either. Too busy with the military, bein' a Scout? You could always settle down with someone you know, like me. I'm free."
"And you can stay that way, kindly." She bit out, hiccuping and feeling the booze start to deepen the pink in her cheeks.
"Oh, come on now, don't be like that, pretty girl…" He whispered into her ear, letting the hand on her shoulder drift slightly further down. "Why don't you come back home with me? I could get you something even better than that tankard~"
Before she could open her mouth, another man sat on the other side of her, but this time, it calmed her, because when his hand shoved the man's arm off, replacing it with his own, she could smell his familiar cologne. "Hey there sweetheart, sorry I'm late." A kiss was pressed to her temple, and it had her blood running hot. Maybe that was also due to the alcohol. Kuchel glanced up at Erwin, seeing how his eyes were hard and trained upon the man who had been pestering her. "I'm sorry, did you need something from my wife, or were you just being an indecorous ass?"
'My wife.'
Oh, she was going to melt. Something within her tightened, stiffened up as she let the moment happen. Playing into it, her head tilted to rest against Erwin's shoulder, watching the man scoff and wave him off. "I don't see a ring on her, Scout man. Wait a second… ain't you Section Leader Erwin Smith? The whole town would know if you were married." The guy sneered, making Kuchel flinch when some spittle flew from his drunken lips.
Erwin seemed to notice this, and she could have sworn that his arm around her tightened ever-so-slightly. "We're trying to keep it quiet. Being a section leader, the press would have a field day if they knew I was taken. They'd rather talk about my personal life than what's actually happening, see? Now, if you would be so kind as to leave so I can enjoy some alone time with this lovely woman beside me, I'd greatly appreciate it. I won't ask nicely again."
The asshole looked between her and Erwin for a moment, before he appeared to fully decide that it wasn't worth it to harass a man that was twice his size and had muscles where he had a beer gut, not unlike many of the clients that she'd had the misfortune of meeting with back in the day. Wobbling as he stood up from the bench, he staggered off in his haggard way, leaving the two of them alone once again. With a sigh of relief, she turned and gently kissed wherever she could reach as a petite sign of gratitude, which happened to land upon his chin. "Thank you… you didn't have to do that."
Erwin seemed a bit distracted for a moment, and then suddenly remembered that his arm was still draped around her shoulders. He repositioned himself, shifting and resting his elbows upon the table.
She wouldn't admit that she missed the weight of his arm around her.
"Don't mention it. I've seen plenty of guys like him around here, and I wasn't about to let him hurt you."
"I don't think I would have let him go any further without breaking his nose. If anything, you saved him more than me." She giggled, hiccuping before downing another large swig of her alcohol. "Such chivalry deserves some nice drink, don't you think? Want some of mine?"
Laughing heartily, Erwin stood up from the bench, pulling her up by her delicate hand to walk away. "No, thank you though. I think that walking away from the tankard would do you some good, though, so come on."
"Erwin! I didn't finish-"
"I know you didn't. I won't let-"
Before he could finish his sentence, she broke away from him with ease, turning back to grab the tankard and chug the rest of the delicious alcohol. After all, she wasn't going to let something she paid for go to waste.
Looking back at him with a toothy grin, he just gave an amused sigh. "Why in the world did I think I could stop you? Stubborn woman…"
After that, the two of them strolled around for a while, meandering on the cobbled path. The sun set on the horizon, and the crisp air of the breeze that came with the late evening blew around them, rustling through the trees, sending small bits of trash and paper—reminders of the day—tumbling between the feet of festival attendees.
She even saw a flyer fluttering across the ground that advertised a play, one that looked like a telling of a folk tale about the Sun and the Moon. Too bad they missed it, right? She wondered if Levi had had the chance to see it.
Though, there was still a bit of light as they ambled along the street, and they were stopped by a frail old lady, grey hair wild and messy and free, stark green eyes full of a wisdom one could only obtain through a lifetime of lessons, calling out to them from her tent. "A fortune, for the young lady, perchance?"
Poor Kuchel was a bit sick with puppy love, though she didn't quite know that was what it was. After Erwin had faked to be her husband to get the guy to leave her alone, the liquor in her system had left her feeling soft, ushy gushy, and she could only focus on his hair that shone beautifully in the dimming sunlight, and the way the wind danced across his sharp features, grazing over his large yet oh-so-handsome nose. Walls, it was a miracle that he didn't see the hearts carved into her delicate blue eyes that even she didn't know were there, and even when the older woman stopped them, Kuchel struggled to get the look wiped off of her face. "H-Hi, um... sure, if you'd like to, Ma'am." She said, not entirely believing in this sort of thing.
Waving them over, she waited until Kuchel had settled in the seat across from her before pulling out her deck of cards, shuffling them and splitting them into three decks before beginning, drawing one and placing it before her.
"You've led a troubled life I see, one full of pain and agony, one that led you to believe you're undeserving of the brighter things of life." Kuchel watched as the woman flipped another one over, reading it with ease. "Ahh, but a child you had, one that brought you more joy than you could have ever dreamed, filling your life with a love you'd never felt before. Am I right?"
The raven-haired woman was astonished at the accuracy of the wise old woman's words, and looked over the cards. How did she know such things? Had she met this woman before? "I-I... yes, yes, that's all true. My life has... been hell... but my son is my life. He was what kept me going. I love him with all of my heart and my soul."
A knowing smile filled the older woman's face as she continued, taking the next card from the centre pile. "I see, interesting, a man came into your life, changing everything you'd ever known, bringing you more pain as you lost loved ones you held near and dear."
Another card.
"Losing those loved ones made you fearful of ever loving another, preferring to hold your child close, closing off your heart to what lies right in front of your very eyes." The green of her eyes deepened even further with knowledge...a trick of the light, certainly…
Kuchel's throat tightened, feeling her mind buzz. "H-How do those cards tell you such things? Are... are you sure you've never met me before, miss?" She whispered, feeling her head get a little light. "It... that's all correct, I believe... I'm in shock. What about... my future? Is my future something you can predict?"
Instead of answering, she just gave Kuchel a gentle smile once again as she pulled another card from one of the decks, placing it above the others. "Deep down, you're searching for something, something you feel undeserving of. Something everyone wants, everyone dreams of, though they may try to deny."
Another card.
"It's closer than you think, my dear. And it's one that people could spend lifetimes searching for, and you've stumbled upon it by accident."
Kuchel gently picked up the card, looking at it and wondering how it told the woman these things. How could something that she wanted yet never deserved be so close? So close that she could almost feel it? "I... I... how do you know this is true, Miss?" She murmured, handing the card back.
Her simper turned soft like the glow of an early morning, giving the young miss an answer. "The paths of our lives are intertwined by fate, by destiny, and by free will. The cards allow me to pick apart the path a person is most likely to take."
Flipping over another card, she frowned deeply, the craquelure of age withered into her features. "But you risk losing it all, miss. Fear holds you back, holds you both back, keeping you from admitting what you both want, what you both desire. The darkness follows you both, whispering its lies into your ears, luring you from your true path." Her gaze came up to Kuchel's, full of sorrow at what could be to come. "It's up to you both to determine your paths. You control your fates. But only together can you overcome the darkness and reach the happiness you both deserve."
As if to emphasise her reading, the breeze chose now to rustle through the tent, sending the wind chimes tinkling with the promise of what the future held.
Kuchel felt tears in her eyes, listening to the woman's wise advice and feeling her heart clench at every word. She knew what she was referring to, that was, her budding feelings for Erwin that she'd been trying so hard to suppress. But she'd said both, as though he shared the same feelings as she. How could such a thing be true? Erwin didn't show that type of interest in her, did he? She was just his subordinate, just his friend, just the woman that had tried to kill him when they met.
Tearfully, she nodded and gave a grateful, seated bow to the woman. "Th-Thank you for your wise words. Unfortunately I do not have any money to give to you in exchange..."
The older woman shook her head in disagreement. "The price I seek is not money. All I ask is that you heed my words, that you stick to your true path and not let the darkness drag you away."
…
After they exited the tent of the fortune teller, Erwin watched Kuchel stumbled forward a bit, likely feeling the alcohol weighing further down upon her petite form. Damn stuff was poison. "What... what should we do now, you think?" The words were hard to get out, and it seemed like she could only think of the things that the mysterious woman had told her just moments ago.
He reached out to steady her, holding her upright by her arms. "Maybe we should head back, Kuchel. You've had quite a bit to drink, and you're quite the lightweight." Plus, if he was being honest, he was also feeling a bit on edge after that cryptic fortune. What had she meant by the warning to Kuchel? Who was she supposed to open up to? Who did she risk losing if she didn't accept her feelings? It was too bizarre, and he didn't know what to make of it.
The dark-haired woman righted herself, gently brushing his hands off of her to walk on her own. "Okay... we can head back. Thank you for-" Her words were interrupted by a hiccup. "-helping me. And I'm not a lightweight, I just drank a lot and had no food." She stated, starting to walk back to the stables on her trusty wobbly ankle.
"Well then perhaps we should get some food in you. You could stand to gain a few pounds, build up your muscles a bit more," he observed as he slowed down his normally lengthy stride to match her. "And there's no need to thank me. You're my friend." Though, he wasn't sure why friend sent such a strange pang through him.
Odd.
"You act like I eat nothing during the day, tsk tsk." She tutted, ambling along, moving out of the way of other festival-goers as they trekked the cobbled path back, walking past stalls of treats and toys alike. "And friends still thank friends~"
"You don't eat enough to satisfy a bird's needs, Kuchel." He grumbled. Erwin spotted a table selling some sweet treats, and it stirred him to pause there for a moment, picking out the one he'd decided on. It had been his favourite treat as a boy, so perhaps she'd like it as well. He tossed down a few bronze Marias onto the counter and then turned back to her, handing her the little pastry. "Here you go, this should help settle your stomach a bit…"
Kuchel gingerly took it in her dainty hands, smelling it and looking up at him with hazy, booze-blurred eyes. "Thank you... smells tasty..." She started to walk with him once again, and hummed in delight at the taste. "Ooo... it's so fluffy... I could eat like a thousand of these... but then I'd probably get fat like those assholes who ran forced labour rings in the Underground..."
He tucked his hands into his pockets as he gazed around at the festival. There were so many things to see and to do compared to being stuck at the Scouting Regiment's base. "Glad you like it." The blonde man murmured absently. "My dad used to get me one every year whenever he brought me here." It had been so long, yet he swore he could see the ghost of his child self, eagerly tugging on his father's hand to pet the animals or riding atop his shoulders and feeling as if he were flying.
"That sounds nice. I wish I'd gotten to come to a festival like this when I was-"
Her words were cut off when her gaze locked onto someone in the crowd, but Erwin had no idea that she thought that she'd seen a familiar woman, one that she thought she might have never seen again, with blonde curls, a curvaceous body, and bubbling blue eyes.
"R-Rori?" She croaked, dropping the pastry in shock as her feet began to carry her in the direction that woman was rushing off in. "Rori! Come back!"
He was taken by surprise when she darted away, but he recovered quickly enough to chase after her. Calling for her, he got cut off by a giggling group of teenage girls who were speeding out of a little sandwich shop, gossiping about the boy who worked there.
Oh to be young and experiencing something as simple as a crush.
It took some time to manoeuvre around the girls who decided to take up a large part of the cobbled path, plus trying to weave in and out of the other festival attendees. He could see her in the distance, still chasing after whomever she'd seen. Damn the woman was fast.
Kuchel seemed to hardly hear any calls for her name, any attempts to grab her attention. It was futile. The woman disappeared around a corner, and when Kuchel arrived at the same location, she was nowhere to be seen. It had her feeling dizzy, had her grasping onto the brick wall of a clothing shop that she was standing next to.
"Rori... R-Rori, come back." Tears started to dribble down her face, and soon the liquor's potency lashed at her once again, disorienting her and sending the noirette to her knees. "Come back, come back..."
He finally caught up with her, a little out of breath from a mixture of exertion and worry. Seeing her on the ground, he placed a hand on her shoulder, a little concerned at the way she was sobbing and slurring her words. After catching his breath, Erwin slipped his hands beneath her armpits in an attempt to help her up. "Come on, Kuchel, I think it's time to go home."
Kuchel sobbed softly, trying to break away from him to keep going. However, she simply fell back to her knees again, craning her neck to attempt to see the familiar face again. "R-Rori, I saw Rori, Erwin. She was here, I know she was. She's my f-friend..."
Taking matters into his own hands, He decided that trying to get her to stand on her own in this state was not the way to go. Slipping his arms beneath the crook of her knees and behind her back, he scooped her up in a single easy movement. A show of strength that most may have forgotten he had.
"I'm sure she was, Kuchel," he said, even if he didn't entirely believe her. When a person was drunk, they often saw things that weren't there, so he wouldn't be surprised if that was the case here. "But she's gone now, and you're drunk and exhausted. I'm sure she would want you home and safe right now, getting some needed rest, alright?"
"O-Okay. Okay. But she was there, Erwin, I saw her. I might be a bit d-drunk but I know what I saw. I left that poor woman all alone in the Underground... She was the last person I talked to down there." Kuchel whimpered, curling into his chest and letting another sob wrack her petite body.
He started to move, carting the small woman back to where they'd left the horses. It was a bit of a walk, but given her size, it wasn't exactly difficult to carry her. "I'm sure you did, Kuchel." Fuck, if she were sober she would have slapped the shit out of him for sounding like a condescending asshole or something, but he didn't quite know what else to say to her. How would a woman from the Underground that she knew suddenly be up on the surface with no explanation, and what were the odds that she was here, of all places?
As he walked, he glanced to the side, and saw a woman with curly, blonde hair standing along the side of the path, digging through her satchel in search of something. He'd caught a glimpse of whom Kuchel had darted after, but not a good enough glance to have fully seen her.
"Look, Kuchel. That looks like the woman you chased after," he said, pausing in his steps. "Is that your friend?"
Kuchel looked to where he was, blinking tears out of her eyes. It made her poor heart sink. "O-Oh... Maybe. I... I guess it could have been her..."
"Maybe one day we can go back down there, see if we can find her, check up on her. How does that sound, Kuchel?" He asked as he turned away from the woman and began to move again.
"M-Maybe. That would be nice. She gets lonely… she's so nice, and is like an auntie to Levi." Kuchel told him, hiccuping and trying to relax into his arms.
He listened as she spoke, even if it was rather amusing at the way she garbled. Something tickled in the back of his mind, a moment of lips moving together, but he shook it aside. He assumed the memory was just off that one kiss from what felt like eons ago.
Oh to be able to taste her once more.
As he strolled along the lantern lit path, the sun hanging low in the horizon, he came across Miche.
"Ah, just the man I was looking for."
"Section Leader." Miche nodded, rocking back on his heels and glancing down at Kuchel. The taller blonde man couldn't help but smile a little at the way she looked so small against Erwin—and he didn't miss the redness in her cheeks and the drunken glaze in her eyes. "Heading back I presume?" He inquired as he looked back up at his superior.
Erwin nodded. "I think Kuchel has had about enough of the festival, so I'm going to take her back to base. If you could let Levi know, I'd appreciate it."
"Understood, sir." He paused briefly before reaching out to ruffle Kuchel's hair. "Don't drink so much next time, runt." Miche smirked at her playfully before turning to stride away.
Kuchel stirred some at Miche's shenanigans, not appreciating her hair getting all messed up. It didn't matter much though, did it?
"We don't have to go back, Erwin..." She tried to reason, looking up at him with pathetically tired blue eyes. "I don't want you to miss out on the fun... The night is young..."
"I think I've had my fill of the fun," he argued. "The night may be young, but I'm not." Plus, he wasn't about to leave her alone in her inebriated state. Who knew what would happen if he did. Levi would certainly have his head if something happened to Kuchel.
"You're very-" She was cut off by a hiccup. "Young... I can go back by myself, I promise. Don't you trust me, Section Leader?"
Knowing she wouldn't relent, he set her down on her feet. "If you can walk in a straight line without stumbling or pausing, you can go back on your own. Otherwise, I carry you back."
Kuchel frowned. "Harder when I have a bad ankle." The petite woman turned away from him, taking a breath before trying to do as he asked.
She failed, obviously, and ended up in a pile on the ground, groaning and trying to squeeze her eyes shut, to keep the world from spinning.
Chuckling, he crouched down in front of her, giving her hair a ruffle, much like Miche had. "Give up?" He teased, unable to hide the smirk on his face. How could he, when she was so adorably drunk?
"Ngh, don't mess with the hair. I tried to look nice for once." Kuchel turned her head into her elbow, having the capacity left in her body to burp into her sleeve instead of out loud. Erwin figured that she thought it would be embarrassing or something. "M'fine, gimme another shot..."
And try again she did, but this time it was worse. As in, she couldn't even get to her feet before she fell backwards and knocked the wind out of herself. Poor little Kuchel.
He chortled at her actions once more, he just couldn't help it. She was so determined to be independent, so hell-bent on refusing even the slightest bit of help, that she would rather keep falling.
"How many shots are you gonna take before you accept some help, Kuchel? I promise it won't mess up your tough girl image if you need me to carry you back~" He teased.
The woman responded with some grumbling and huffing, but eventually she laid back on the ground again, staring up at the dimming sky with tired eyes. "Fiiiine. I'm not drunk though. I don't need the help but you're soooo insistent..."
He rolled his eyes in amusement before leaning down to scoop her up once more. "Then what do you call someone who has enough alcohol in her system to supply a tavern and can't walk straight?" Erwin teased as he adjusted her against his chest before moving once again.
"I didn't drink that much. Overdramatic Sun-Catcher... Damn you..." She whined dramatically.
"Kuchel, the tankard you had was bigger than your head, and you don't normally drink. Deny all you want, but you're a lightweight." He was quite insistent, his tone still teasing and good natured. There was something so intriguing about poking and prodding at her. He wasn't sure what it was, but it reminded him of being a young boy and teasing the girl he had a crush on. Not bullying, of course, just trying to get her to notice him. Kuchel didn't seem to mind, otherwise she wouldn't have kept playing chess with him every week.
"We don't get drunk." She stated matter-of-factly, closing her eyes as he carried her to the stables.
"Well you're doing a splendid job of acting like it." He retorted, shaking his head in amusement at her stubbornness. He was quiet for a moment as he continued to stroll when a lightbulb went off in his head. She'd said we. What did she mean by that? Should he ask or would it be too much prodding on his part? When he'd asked about her grandfather, she'd bolted. He hadn't forgotten that, the way she'd slipped up and said how she'd visited her grandfather above ground.
Not wanting to spook her, he tucked that away. He'd ponder on it more later. Erwin needed to find his father's books– there was something within his mind telling him the answers were there.
Once they got back to the stables, she sat nearby, waiting for Erwin to tie Ranya's lead to his saddle's horn before she was helped onto the saddle. She settled in behind him when he got up himself, and her slender arms wrapped around his waist. "You're nice and warm, Erwin... like a nice fire..." She sighed contentedly, pressing her cheek to his back.
"Just hold on tight and focus on not falling off, Kuchel. It's gonna be a bit of a ride, but I'll get you home." Erwin said, as he tapped his heels against his horse, clicking his tongue for the two to move. Thankfully, Ranya seemed to be in an obedient mood tonight, which was quite the surprise, given that she was usually as stubborn as her rider. Ranya even went so far as to turn her head and nip affectionately at Kuchel's leg, and Erwin found it quite endearing. Horses really did have strong personalities. His own white stallion, Champion, has one of his own for sure. On the field outside the Walls, he was determined and brave, but back on base, he was the most shy stallion in the stables.
Kuchel whined a bit at the nip that Ranya gave her, moving her hand out to touch Ranya's ear. "Oi, don't bite me you little troublemaker... oh, I can't stay mad at that face, though." She lamented, moving her hand back to hug onto Erwin again. The booze kept affecting her in waves, and right now she felt a little mischievous, having felt the weight of a flask in his breast pocket. Oh, she'd get that later. She had her ways.
He hummed in amusement at her, reaching out to pat Ranya's neck. "It's affection, silly girl. If she'd wanted to hurt you, she would. Horses have interesting ways of showing they care about you."
"I know, but you know Ranya is stubborn..." Kuchel told him, watching the sights of the town as they rode past them. She seemed relaxed, which was better than her previous state of being upset at that stupid woman's words from the petting zoo.
"You know what they say, 'like rider, like horse'." He called back to her over his shoulder. He couldn't deny that it was nice to have her like this, holding on close.
And he'd be lying if he said he didn't notice the way her soft and supple breasts pressed and moulded to the harder planes of his back. He had other thoughts about her, ones that he forced himself to push back, push away to the far reaches of his mind for a while. He couldn't think these things of his subordinate, especially not when they'd most likely make her uncomfortable and she hadn't given him any indication that she wanted him that way.
Kuchel, meanwhile, while he was distracted with his thoughts, snuck her lithe hands around him, grabbing what she thought was a flask off of him. She chugged some of it, then made a face. "Damn you Smith, water… yuck." The woman wanted more than that, she wanted something to keep the airy feeling going, unaware of how he was thinking of her at that moment. Her hands went back to his waist, brushing her thumb over his hip and pressing her cheek to his back. "You're so toned~"
He sucked in a breath when he felt her delicate fingers tease along his waist and hip. He silently urged her to reach further down and around. Oh how he yearned to feel her touches. But he forced aside the buzz in his brain, not wanting any other parts of him to awaken— well…awaken any further.
"You don't drink enough water as it is." He told her, doing his best to hide the huskiness in his voice. "You should drink more, especially now that you've consumed more alcohol than you're used to."
"Mm... You're full o' shit." She warbled, moving her hands around again and getting a hold of the real flask that was in his pocket. Snatching it out, she swiftly unscrewed the cap and downed it, letting the burn consume her before she gave a cheerful holler. "Hooo boy!"
He sighed, shaking his head at her. "You're gonna regret that in the morning," he said as his watchful eye took in their surroundings. These festivals often brought out unruly people, and they would spread out into the area, splitting off into groups to enjoy the night. So far it was clear.
"Ohhh, you're so stiff. Toned but stiff." She shifted and hiccuped, placing the now empty flask in his breast pocket and patting her palm against it. Her chin came to rest up on his shoulder, allowing her to see ahead of them. "I won't regret a thing. Maybe just going to that fortune teller... she was a bit freaky..."
He was finding that he enjoyed this drunker version of Kuchel. She was more affectionate, touchier. He wasn't exactly touch-starved, but it reminded him how long it had been since he'd lain with a woman. There'd only been one other woman he'd had a fling with since Marie, and it had been a few years since that brief spell of his life. Ambition kept him pushing forward, and often didn't leave room for socialising, especially with people who didn't understand the life he led.
That had been his mistake with Marie. They'd wanted separate things and hadn't been able to compromise.
I don't think I've mentioned Marie to Kuchel yet, have I?
Wait, why does it matter?
"She was intriguing, but it's all for show, for fun. She was probably even better at reading people and making accurate guesses than I am."
Except for when it came to Kuchel. She was an enigma he had yet to figure out.
Kuchel hummed softly, with one of her hands gently moving down to his strong thigh, and Walls, she hadn't even realised it most likely. "You're firm everywhere~ I wish I were strong like you... I train just as much, but you're like the hero in a fairytale... maybe a prince who saves a damsel in distress. Hehe, was I the damsel, did my drunkenness count as distress? Hehe~" She cooed in his ear, giggling in that charming way before pressing a kiss to the tender skin behind it.
He stiffened slightly at the way she caressed his thigh, fighting to hold back a groan. If she moved her hand up any further…she'd see just how firm he was. So much for restraining himself. But how in the Walls was he supposed to do that when she was pressing her body against his, caressing his thigh that way, kissing behind his ear? Fuck, this was harder than bootcamp.
Clearing his throat, he fought for control, trying to keep the lust from his voice. "Perhaps, but I'm hardly a prince." No, would a prince hold such lustful, sinful thoughts over a woman who held no interest in him? And drunken acts didn't count.
"Mmm, you sound shy, Errie~ You need to loosen up a little, maybe I could-"
She was cut off when the horse trampled over a patch of uneven ground on one side, and at the worst time. Kuchel hadn't been holding on properly, and bounced right off, tumbling with a sickening thud to the dusty, dirty ground. Having been a bit too inebriated to realise what had happened until it was over, all she could do was sit up shakily, looking like a kicked puppy. Ah, perhaps when she was drunk and upset, she got terribly sad? It was only her second time, how unpredictable.
He was quick to pull the horses to a stop and hop down onto the ground. Holding out a hand, he offered to help her up. "Are you alright?" She looked so adorably drunk, with her raven black hair mussed from the ruffles and the day, and the pout on her face made him want to take those lips with his, push her to the ground and cover her, take what he so desperately wanted, what he wished she wanted too.
Get a hold of yourself, he mentally scolded.
She didn't know what it was, but the situation made more fat rolls of tears come pouring from her pretty eyes. "I-I wanna go home Errie, I wanna go. Everything h-hurts and I don't wanna be here anymore." The poor woman didn't even realise he was holding out a hand, her senses were too impaired to notice.
Walls, sad and drunk Kuchel had something stirring within him. The wounded animal look on her face knocked the breath out of him, a kick straight to the gut. And suddenly, he realised what was happening to him, and it left him winded as if he'd just ran endless laps around base.
His chest squeezed with that foreign sensation that wasn't quite so foreign to him anymore, now understanding the growing emotion within him. He was on a slippery slope. Before, he'd been fighting to stay upright, but now he was fighting to keep hold before he was sent careening over the cliff.
Erwin had to take a breath to compose himself, quickly locking what he felt away. Now was not the time to worry about that, nor was he going to burden her with that. If she knew, she'd only feel sorry for not reciprocating.
So instead, he reached out to stroke her silky hair. "H-Hey, it's alright, Kuchel. " He breathed. "I'll get you home, alright? It's gonna be okay."
Kuchel sniffled, more wet droplets careening down her alcohol-flushed cheeks, rosy like the setting sun. Her face moved to lean into his hand, and the look that she cast up at him through her long lashes was innocent, looking to him for guidance when she couldn't help herself. "Y-You promise, Errie? You promise you can-" Ah, another hiccup. "G-Get us home? You promise?"
Just when he thought he couldn't get any more winded, she looked at him that way. He reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and then gently dabbed at her cheeks. "I promise, Kuchel," he murmured. And the promise to her held more than just a simple promise to get them back to base. "I won't let anything happen to you. You can trust me, okay?"
Oh shit. He'd thought knowing what was brewing inside him would bring him ease, but now that he knew he just felt queasy and clammy. He didn't know what to do with this. It was nothing like he'd felt before, and now this sweet woman was looking to him to help her, keep her safe, and he was terrified of failing her. But he managed to keep that terror hidden away, his hand steady as he continued to clean her tears.
The waterworks started to slow, but she kept leaning into his touch, kept wanting to be close to his warmth, even when the liquor made her feel like a ball of fire. Kuchel was none the wiser to what he was feeling, what was brewing inside of him for her. She tried to get up, but was having trouble when her butt hurt from landing on it. "Y-Your handkerchief smells like tea and cologne…"
When her face was wiped clean, he tucked it into her hands. "You keep it then," he said, before gently pulling her to her feet, steadying her when she swayed. When he glanced at her face, his breath hitched at how beautiful she looked in the moonlight, and it had him aching for her.
It took him a moment to regain control of himself before he did something stupid like drag them both to the ground and take her out here in the open.
"Maybe you should sit in front this time. I can keep a better hold on you that way."
"O-Okay. That sounds okay with me, Errie..." She murmured, gently pressing the handkerchief to her nose. If she had been sober, she'd have been able to see the look on his face when the moon illuminated her hair, her eyes, her pale skin.
He had no way of knowing that with his attentive gaze, it would have been the first time she felt beautiful.
With gentle hands, he plucked her off the ground and set her into the saddle before leaping up in one swift movement. This time he settled behind her, wrapping his arm around her and securing her against him, his free hand taking the reins. Just as before, he tapped his heels into his horse's side, and off they went.
Kuchel seemed to like this setup much better, seemed to like how his arms remained settled around her protectively, Leaning back against him, her head rested on his collar bone. "You're comfy... Thank you... I'm sorry I'm so drunk and messy... And being aggravating..."
Sighing, he couldn't resist the urge to kiss her temple affectionately. "You're the furthest thing from aggravating. Stubborn? Yes. Pig-headed? Yes. Obstinate? Yes. But aggravating? Never. And you're the most adorable mess I've ever seen, so I think you're okay." The last but he hadn't meant to add, but maybe she'd forget about it in the morning.
Kuchel giggled just a little, turning her head so that it was now the apple of her cheek against his chest. "That was a lot of words for stubborn... and you think I'm adorable? That's cute... no one's called me that before..."
He glanced down at her, and he couldn't help but notice how sweet she looked against him, like a cat cozying up to the person it trusted most. "You're ethereal…" His breath hitched after he said it, knowing that he'd been unable to stop himself. Oh Walls, he hoped she didn't remember any of this in the morning.
"Ethereal... that's how you-" Hiccup. "Describe a goddess. Goddesses glow from the inside out... I'm not so much as a match..." She whispered drowsily, watching the scenery pass them by.
"To me you are." Erwin said absently, as he forced himself to focus. He desperately wished to be back on base so he could take care of her and then take care of…other things.
"You're a silly man... a handsome but silly man..." She lulled, starting to fall asleep against him, soothed by his heartbeat and the steady rhythm of the horse trodding along.
His stomach fluttered at that, his cheeks burning a little at the compliment. To hear it come from her, to hear it from someone whose opinion he actually cared about was invigorating and he didn't know how to process it. He chanced stroking her hair gently before returning his hold around her waist. "Sleep, Kuchel. You're safe with me. I'll get you home safe."
"How much longer, you think?" She whispered, glancing up at the moon that climbed high in the sky. He tried to calculate the remaining distance as he glanced up as well, noting the slower pace that they were taking before giving her an answer. "A few hours, give or take. Plenty of time for you to get a little rest."
"Mmm, okay. Wake me up if you need anything..." Kuchel told him promptly conking out. It really didn't take long when she felt safer than she ever had.
Plus the booze made her sleepy. That helped.
He couldn't help but chuckle at how easily she fell asleep. A pang went through his chest now that he wasn't distracted, and now he could notice how well she fit in his arms. So in that moment, he made a silent promise to her. He vowed to protect her, no matter what– and he'd keep her safe, because he couldn't fathom a life without her.
And when she leaned back into him, clearly trusting him completely, snuggling in close, all he could do was kiss the top of her head, taking in a deep whiff of her hair.
Oh Kuchel, what am I going to do with you?
Hello everybody, I'm back again with another chapter wooo. Thanks to StarlitScarlet for helping me write this one again because I was mega busy. Doing what, you may ask? GRADUATING COLLEGE WOOOOOOOOOO YA GIRL IS FINALLY THE HOLDER OF A GOOD OL DEGREE YOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Ahem. Anyway.
Hehe, I probably had some of you tricked into thinking Kuchel got hurt again or something with that cliff hanger. Nope! Just drunk and sad. I mean, seriously, if you were her would you ever want to be sober? Though she seemed rather snuggly with good old Erwin~
Song Awards for this chapter goes to Little Dark Age by MGMT. I think that song is such a vibe tbh and it fits this story well.
I wonder if Kuchel's imagination was going crazy when she saw that woman? Who knows...
By the way, RHA is one whole year old! Thank you everyone for sticking around! 3