The second half of the Goblet of Fire aka Triwizard Tournament. Wait, did GG get hauled into giving relationship advice to half-giants?

1995 Spring term

5th Janiver 1995

Dear Tante Giselle

I have met the man of my dreams. Well, almost. He is a head shorter than me, has a dress-sense of a troll, yet he makes me feel just like a silly little girl. I never had to much fun at the Yule Ball, even if he is a horrid dancer and kept stepping on my toes. Then he asks me if I am part-giant! Moi? The headmistress of a premier wizarding academy in Europe – a half-giant? Well, Rubey was right. My maman was a dwarf giant and the gene popped up in moi out of my 10 siblings. My pere was big boned. I feel sort of bad, especially after some gutter-reporter exposed him in the papers as half-giant. Should I go visit him, or should I play hard to get? It hasn't been a week since our last spat, and I cannot allow him to think I will coming running back to him so easily. I hear from the children he has been moping in his shack after they read the article to him.

Madame O

Spring 1995

Dear Madame

Apologies for the delayed reply. We were snowed in in the Alps, even the owls had to hunker down until the blizzards cleared. I do hope you have made up with clueless coot of a half-giant beau. He sounds like his mama might have dropped him on his head as a baby - or he might be one of those inanely unaware fools. You sound like a smart, pragmatic dame. What are the chances of two half-giants meeting and hitting it off in the wizarding world? You have more than enough brains to make up for his lack of, headmistress of a wizarding academy and all. I must admit it is not every day that the headmistress goes off with the groundskeeper for a hiking tour of Europe – just an idea to rekindle the spark.

Love, she is a crazy thing, no? Sometimes, the most unlikely couples just work out. Or you might find yourself holding a huge pile of merde. C'est la vie?

GG

P.S. How did your Valentine's Day go? Tres bien?

8th March 1995

Dear GG

My boss has gone missing. I mean – he has been acting all out of sorts since the Quidditch Cup finals. We thought it was the Dark Mark appearing and the Death Eater riots. You see, his family really suffered in the last war - his only son being outed as Death Eater and his wife dying of grief. He did drop by the Ministry at first, and he did appear at the Tournament. He was talking about all kinds of things that made no sense before taking some time off. Then he just vanished. I am trying to hold the fort, but folks are asking questions at the office.

I even dropped by his place - no one was in. Guess they never replaced the old house-elf he freed last year. There was Ms Jonkins who suddenly took off on vacation in the middle of an audit and has not been heard from since. Some gossip that old Crouch has taken up with Jonkins or that she has been dosing him with love potions that mess with his mind. This is getting creepy. The house looks almost abandoned, but I hear something creeping about under the porch. No, I am not sticking my neck in to check.

I want to find my boss as I haven't the faintest idea how to do his job. I need some help!

Assistant PW

Spring 1995

Dear PW

You sound like a real go-getter. Are you sure your boss and his girlfriend have not embezzled the funds and run off for the Continent leaving you lot holding a pile of hippogriff dung? You better sound the alarm about his disappearance. Has there been a crime of passion and poor Ms J buried under the floorboards? Perhaps you should be making plans for your own disappearance. You do not have any pesky family ties holding you back, do you?

GG

15th March 1995

Dear GG

The wizarding tabloids have been dragging my name through the mud. For the last time, I am not seeing anyone other than Viktor. I have not potion-ed anyone, Polyjuice aside. Ron and Harry are just plain old friends with me, well, probably brothers. Ron's mom is giving me hell thanks to those gossip rags for playing hard and fast with her son and Harry. My fellows at school think that I am easy. This is like painting a huge target on my back as Harry also happens to be the Chosen One. I believe Viktor is now thinking of dumping me. Help!

Muggleborn Miss

P.S. There is a certain pest of a reporter who has been bugging me and Harry. How do you propose we neutralize this Skeeter?

Spring 1995

Dear Miss Muggleborn

There is a reason why I use the Daily Prophet for kindling, not just the freezing mountain nights. Are your brothers in all but blood having your back? They better be or you might want to hex them into the next millennia. How serious are you about this Viktor? Is it just a holiday fling or are you thinking of popping out wizard babies? If just a summer fling, it might be time for you to gracefully let him down before everything blows up in your faces.

You are like the daughter I wish I had as you have clearly considered the possibility of a wizard bug. Get a jar and enchant it to be unbreakable to contain your pest of an animagus. Once you have the nosey bug in hand, I will leave it up to you how merciful you wish to be.

GG

1st April 1995

Dear GG

Help! My sons just came of age and announced that they are going to leave school to start a prank goods business. Without a NEWTs, how can they find a decent job like their father and brother? All this business thing is well over my head but surely that is too risky. We do not have pots of gold to kick off a store with. Why can they not follow their brother into the Ministry?

Worried Mother

Spring 1995

Dear Worried

Not all of us can be swots and nail our NEWTs. Speaking from experience, I learned far more things outside the classroom than in one. I never got my NEWTs, but I did well for myself for almost a half-century. So I believe if your sons can find an investor to give them that seed money, they might be able to make something of their business without having to bow and scrape before the Wizengamot.

Yours sincerely

GG

20th May 1995

Dear Gellert

Apologies for not writing. We have been so busy with the Tournament. Harry has done all of us proud by not only surviving but excelling at the tasks. He has only one more to go and it looks like Hogwarts getting the Cup this round. Ha, in your face, Durmstrang.

Karkaroff and Snape have not been lynched yet for their unfortunate tattoo choices, but sentiments are rising on both sides. I am disappointed that despite my best efforts, a certain mangy canine has been snooping about the castle instead of going to India for some serious mind-healing like I proposed. I cannot help but feel I missed out something somewhere. I have even looked back on the memories of the Death Eater trials after the First Wizarding War.

Albus

Summer 1995

Dear Albus

Clearly you are going gaga. Have you truly gone through all the trial records? If so, you should have noticed someone did not get a proper trial before being shipped off to Azkaban. I do not know if the Triwizard Cup will be worth a dead campion, but the decision is yours (and your stuffy Ministry).

Yours sincerely

Gellert

P.S. Look out for big snakes, seriously.

25th June 1995

Dear GG

I hate my life. I narrowly escaped death at the hands of this snake-faced lunatic who did my folks in. I just witnessed the death of a friend. And all this happened during a 'safe' tournament. Then everyone claims I am a big fat liar and probably crazy to boot – and that I likely murdered my friend in the first place. Because everyone else knows Voldemort is gone and the headmaster is gaga. Will it be acceptable if I quit Hogwarts and run back to the Muggle world? After all, I did not ask to be the Chosen One. That will also mean leaving my friends in the wizarding world and going back to the Dursleys (ugh!). I wish I can go live with my godpa, as crazy as he is after Azkaban. But no, the headmaster decides I need to spend my summers being abused by my uncle and aunt. Blood wards, you know.

Hating the Magic

P.S. I just feel like exploding sometimes. Is this a possibility?

Summer 1995

Dear Magic-Hater

Sadly, you will not generate at Obscurus at your age even if you start hating all things magic. Are you still a minor in the Muggle world? In for a penny, in for a pound. May I suggest using Muggle tech to dispose of your not-so-loving family? Rat poison or a hunting rifle. Splashes of fresh blood around the house might refresh those wards. I believe they no longer have capital punishment in Britain, plus you are a minor – a sorely abused minor. So they might go lenient on you under Muggle law. Or you can arrange a quiet mass food-poisoning by mixing death caps into their mushroom soup.

Dealing with that dark wizard gunning for you is trickier. My advice will be to go dark yourself. Look up dark magic tomes to work out how to unravel the pest. You might need a mentor skilled in the darker arts to guide you along. Are you on good terms with any of the old British Dark families like the Blacks, Princes, or Malfoys? Or you might want to befriend some Drumstrang alumni, like me.

Yours sincerely

GG

P.S. A little hint – do not trust what you see in your mind. There is a branch of Dark Arts that can influence a person that way. Find an Occlumens and start training pronto. At the very least, it will help you pass those Muggle interrogations should you get caught for doing in your aunt.

Author's Notes:

Skeeter – slang for mosquito.

GG is encouraging some kids to connect with their inner dark wizard/witch. To some extent, Grindelwald is still a dark wizard. Harry has made his acquaintance of the three families mentioned but he does not quite know it yet.