The High Priestess and The Chariot.
Kyoko Kirigiri likes to think of herself as someone who doesn't jump to conclusions, someone who looks at things from an objective point of view, because otherwise, it would lead to developing a bias that works as an obstacle to the truth, no matter which one you are talking about. She's self-aware enough to understand that developing preconceptions clogs the way one thinks, drifting you away from answers that could be very right under your nose, and taking assumptions as the actual answers will only morph the actual truth into an unrecognizable monster of deceptions and lies.
She also understands she has sinned of all of the above because of that same self-awareness. If you were to ask who is responsible for that on ten different occasions, she would give the same answer ten out of ten times.
A pair of apathetic golden eyes.
The first impression most of her classmates gave her was that they weren't the brightest bunch you will find, or at the very least, their intelligence resided in their respective talents. Of course, while she didn't took that for a fact 'Even if she didn't was off the mark in the end…', as a first impression is way too little to form a solid idea of the person in front of you, it couldn't be helped that such was her image of them when every time one of them entered the main hall and saw both the weaponry mounted and the highly advance looking vault door, all they did was to shrug it off as some eccentricity from Hope's Peak.
She fought the urge to sigh on that occasion.
But regardless of that, she said most because there ended up being an exception for that. Just when she was about to give up on expecting much, or anything, from her classmates in their situation, He made act of presence.
Shizuka Shigaraki.
When she saw him for the first time, Kyoko felt…something, a gut instinct of sorts, warning her of the golden-eyed boy.
He's dangerous.
Be wary of him.
Take everything he says with a grain of salt.
Kyoko was very tempted to follow to the letter those instructions her brain was subconsciously sending her, less because she was taking them at face value and more so because her mind acted as if it sort of recognized that person, such feeling was almost as if she…remembered something.
Such a tempting offer when you wake up with almost no memories of yourself.
But no, while she wasn't going to act all trusty with the group, it was also too early and lacked any reason to be completely distrustful of them, a healthy amount of neutrality until proven otherwise was the right path to follow.
And so, instead she focused on the fact that as soon as he entered the main hall, instead of waving off the weapons like the rest of the group did, she observed the wary look he gave them, not only that, but when the group addressed him like nothing was wrong, she greatly sympathized with the look as if they grew a second head he gave them.
She was thankful at the time that she wasn't the only one who was taking things seriously, it almost made her begin to think of a possible ally in the grim circumstances they found themselves.
Then things took another turn when she noticed that he wasn't telling anyone about his talent.
Some corner of her mind understood the hypocrisy, but she just couldn't help it. While she justified herself up to this moment in not remembering her talent, she didn't knew what reason could he have for him to hide it. Maybe it was the same reason as her, but just as likely as that, the chances of other possibilities existed there.
In the end, while she understood that it was too early to make assumptions, the fact that he was hiding something like his talent, even if they were on the same wavelength about their situation if that short conversation they had during the introductions was any indication, made her clam up. Nothing close to hostility, but just the same neutrality she presented to everyone else.
Then Monokuma popped out of the gym and introduced himself, dropping the bombshell that they would be trapped here forever unless they 'Graduated' which consisted in killing a fellow classmate without getting caught…all the while making constant mentions of Shigaraki thorough his monologue.
While this happened, another red flag about Shigaraki was raised in Kyoko's mind.
Not because of the way Monokuma was talking of him per se, though it was true that such thing merited to search some answer about it, but because of how he was taking this whole 'Killing School Life' their captor announced.
Some of her classmates looked horrified, others had the beginning of tears forming on their faces, a few of them, herself included, even if they eventually managed to hide it, for a moment their worried faces made themselves known for everyone to see.
As for Shigaraki?
He looked bored, if a bit irked because of how much Monokuma was singling him out most probably. Though bored is a bit of an exaggeration, it would be more accurate to say that when Monokuma revealed that they needed to kill each other, it appeared that such a topic was just the same as talking about the weather for him.
Kyoko had to know why the reason for that, why he was so calm and collected about the notion of kill, why he was hiding his talent, and why Monokuma was focusing that much on him.
And so, she asked…and so, she got her answer.
The Ultimate Assassin.
A person which Hope's Peak recognizes as the most talented Assassin on the entire planet. Someone who specializes in killing without getting caught, trapped with a bunch of students in a place where their captor was forcing them to kill without getting caught.
Even she couldn't completely suppress the brief moment of human vulnerability in which she panicked, even if just as fast she recovered and chided herself for exposing such side of her.
The same couldn't be said about her classmates though.
While she could sympathize with the reactions they were having at such news, it was at that moment, when their judgment became clouded with fear and considered every possibility running through their head as an absolute fact, that she understood that dealing with them was going to be a constant headache.
So instead of being part of their internal bickering, she put her mind into thinking about more concerning matters.
Subjects like the objective of the mastermind, their identity, and where are they, among others. Her mind was instinctively, almost as if she had always been a natural at it, running with questions and theories that while she understood she didn't had the answers to at the moment, it was necessary to plant them beforehand to broad her vision around the mysteries that surrounded them.
Such a process was put to a halt when she heard it.
Otherwise, what?
Hearing him talk like that while also releasing a killing intent that send a shiver down her spine wasn't doing any favors on her image about him…but even with that, she decided that it would be still too early to make preconceptions about him and his Assassin identity.
Though even if she was good at hiding it, Kyoko internally frowned when he began with his explanation about why he didn't revealed his talent. There wasn't anything wrong with it, everything about sounded reasonable enough…but for some reason, that instinct that warned her of taking everything he said with certain skepticism came back louder than the first time.
Then the turning point finally came on that same day a few hours later.
When during the exploration of the first floor she found a map detailing the internal structure of Hope's Peak which coincided with the building they were in, for some strange reason, Kyoko almost felt…sort of giddy about that, as if it were great news for her that this place was indeed Hope's Peak, not that she liked the being trapped here in a Killing Game, but one of the few things she remembers…partially, is that she had a reason to come to Hope's Peak, she couldn't figure out 'Still hasn't…' what that reason is, but that evidence she found made her wonder if that was going to be a step closer to find out answers about herself.
With that possibility at her hands, Kyoko felt something resembling Hope.
It's less that I found something else and more that everything points to be just impossible for this to be Hope's Peak.
When she heard those words come out of his mouth, she didn't know what came over her, but before she could control it, the words coming out of her mouth were already daring him to prove how that was the case, though fortunately, she managed do it in a way that hid how she felt at the moment, partly because she didn't expected a solid rebuttal to prove his claim.
So, when he actually made a logical explanation involving the renovations of the building, the time it involves to install all of it and its discrepancy with our awakening which couldn't have lasted that much, and the other possible alternative to our situation…which was much more reasonable and made the possibility of this place being Hope's Peak a pipe dream…saying that she, along with the rest of the class was surprised at such display, was an absolute understatement.
The introductions were enough to tell Kyoko that Shigaraki was, at the very least, a more focused person when in comparison to the rest of the group, but one thing is that and a whole different ordeal is to get such compelled conclusions based on mere observations in the very first day of being trapped while he was occupied with distractors like the wary eyes of their classmates, the confusion of the situation they were in and having someone else orbiting around you making it harder to concentrate.
While a part of her was impressed at how observant Shigaraki turned out to be, it was for that very reason plus with the combination that the possibility of finding answers in the actual Hope's Peak, her Hope of finding the truth, began to slip out of her hands, that made her sent a glare out of annoyance at him.
Annoyance towards him…and herself.
The herself part is easier to understand. It wasn't that she was petty at finding out that she wasn't the only one with a grain of common sense among the group, it was actually kind of the opposite, Kyoko was annoyed at herself for underestimating him like that, acting so arrogant as to believe that no one among the class would be at her level.
When it comes to her annoyance towards him though…she knows how irrational she was being, but it was something that just like when she first saw him and felt those alarm bells, subconsciously happened, and while she dropped it as soon as she became aware what she was doing, it also made her to finally take with more seriousness those moments of hers. It became a topic of interest to try and figure out what they mean and why they happen in presence of Shigaraki.
During the following days, Kyoko didn't found the exact answer to that, if anything the only thing they did was cement her wariness of Shigaraki.
Back on the second day's nighttime, which she admittedly believed for a moment that Shigaraki planned to ambush her 'She still does have some suspicions about that, the timing is just too much of a coincidence…', their small quarrel created the suspicion about him hiding more than what he let on.
On the fourth day, Kyoko interacted enough with Shigaraki to find out that the truth was much worse than that.
It began with the group interrogation against him.
No matter from which angle or approach people took their questions, he didn't showed the slightest of reactions that could give something, no matter what people asked, he always had a response ready and timed it well enough to not look made on the spur of the moment or as if he thought much about it.
Even when people caught him on the spot about something, he knew how to answer, always having an excuse that no matter how you looked at it, you couldn't deny it.
When the interrogation moved from Genocider Syo to the Holy Salvation Society, it was the same. Calm and collected answers, solid excuses, and logical counters against people's rebuttals. Even when the majority of the group was suspicious of him, with his title of Ultimate Assassin or his affiliation to a cult that trains Assassins since kids, even with all the odds against him, he emerged victorious…
There hasn't been one yet, and She already knows He's going to be a nightmare to deal with in the class trials if one day he were to become the blackened…
…Speaking of the Holy Salvation Society…
Not even once in her life 'As far as she remembers…' did she had made a bigger effort to control her features than the moment when Togami said their name for the first time, it also helped that nobody was truly paying attention to her, more occupied dealing with that reveal, and Shigaraki at being exposed as a member of them.
The reason for that is because the moment the Heir said the name of the cult…
…A memory came back to her.
It was for just a moment, it was also blurry and the precise details of it, try as she might, escaped her, only getting a few things out of it.
She was younger, between 4 and 5 years.
She was accompanied by an even younger kid of dark-blue hair and androgynous appearance and…and there was also someone else, an older girl, with glasses and short brown hair. Even if the details about her were more clouded, Kyoko felt as if she was an important, very important person in her life.
But the most valuable clue of that memory was what involved such memory.
Assassins.
Like most of that memory, the details were lackluster, she only got that they were three of them and that the memory involved a train station. She didn't knew what involvement she had with them, or them with her, or who were the people she had as a company.
Though even if that memory lacked much information, it was valuable enough that Kyoko exposed herself to take the lead in Shigaraki's interrogation about the cult he belongs to, knowing well enough that there was no evidence to point them as possible suspects of their imprisonment, and to make her internally scream and resist the urge to lunge at him for answers when he managed to drift the conversation away from more questions, understanding that if she were to insist about it, the suspicion would've turned against her, something she definitely didn't needed when someone like Shigaraki wouldn't have a problem bringing the topic of her unknown 'Even to her…' talent if it meant saving his skin from the group lynching.
She would know, he actually attempted to once.
Although that didn't mean she gave up on it, if anything, it only made her more zealot in her objective to find out more about Shigaraki and his cult, no matter the cost.
And both as a curse and a blessing, an opportunity came in the form of Monokuma and his motive videos.
Putting aside the fiasco that was, both to her and her classmates, the red flags about Shigaraki knowing beforehand what the motive was about and keeping it to himself, while also revealing 'At least to her…' a glimpse of his manipulative skills, fooling the entire group about the true contents of his motive when not even he saw it at the beginning making use of the Heir insults to his advantage, Kyoko made a gamble asking Shigaraki for his motive.
When he first accepted with a maybe, she resigned herself that he was making use of her as a pseudo-bodyguard and wasn't planning to show her anything. So, it came as an actual surprise when he left the A/V room and offered to truly show her his motive…
…At a price.
A motive for a motive.
A truth for a truth.
And while the trade seemed just, she didn't liked it, no one bit.
Just like it was becoming common for him, the argument he made about the exchange was reasonable…at first glance. Kyoko by that point understood that there's always more than what he lets on every time he opens his mouth, only this time she caught on a slip up on his part that revealed that he wanted her motive for more than leverage. For what reason then? Even now she doesn't know, but the fact alone that he made that kind of mistake served as proof of how much his own motive affected him…and how much she wanted to see it, considering what she did next after he told his proposal.
If she was honest with herself, Kyoko thought she was going to die after she forced him to spill a clue about his motive as leverage to accept his deal. How the moment she finished her counter offer his face turned into a blanker than usual expression while his hands twitched made her believe that if she had pressured him a bit more, he would've opted to just snap her neck and pick up her motive as if nothing happened.
Saying it was a scary experience was putting it lightly.
Regardless, her 'Very much' risky bet ended up paying off as with the slightest signs of vulnerability and not a small amount of hesitation, he gave her what she asked for.
Family.
On one hand, she could sympathize with him wanting to hide something like that 'She really did. Not only did it hurt that she forgot she had a grandfather, it was like a direct stab at her heart looking at the state her motive showed him…', but the fact alone that Kyoko never saw that answer coming worked as further proof of how good is Shigaraki at keeping secrets and manipulating information at his convenience, something that, not for the first time, did nothing but make her more distrustful of him.
In the end, their desperation, hers for answers and his for…perhaps answers too, made them come to an agreement as they begrudgingly gave each other's motives. 'It was more snatching them from each other hands rather than an actual exchange…'
Shigaraki's motive was…interesting to say the least 'She wanted to punch the screen when she saw that last sequence', it didn't gave her the answers she was expecting to get out of it, but it was…well, interesting. There was something about it that felt wrong 'Besides that last sequence', but she lacked information to put a finger on why it made her feel in such a way.
For once, she was grateful to him when after they returned their motives, he told her that he won't pry about her video while she would do the same about his. As curious as she was about getting more details out of it, she knew that Shigaraki would've retaliated in kind.
Although that didn't put a dent in the nagging feeling that in the end, he ended up gaining much more out of their deal, at least it seemed that way when looking at the way he acted before leaving the A/V room. It was almost as if he was moving on auto-pilot and he wasn't there. 'It also gave her the feeling of the calmness before the incoming storm, as if a bomb was about to explode, though she didn't stayed for long after that to confirm anything…'
All in all, in the four days she had to know Shigaraki, Kyoko was getting confident in obtaining a better picture of their resident Assassin, such a picture didn't painted anything good about him, but it was clear enough for her to think she was closer and closer in figuring him out completely.
Then today happened and the preconceptions she had about him were thrown out of the window.
Even if she suspected that Shigaraki had the most chances of committing a murder, Kyoko didn't believed that the motive was enough to set off a murder attempt, at least not anytime soon, thinking that the warning the golden-eyed boy gave her 'And Enoshima' was only him being overly cynical.
So imagine her surprise when out of all her classmates, it was him who prevented a murder.
Kyoko was so occupied trying to uncover his true nature and expecting the worst of him that it never went over her head the idea that he would use his talent of Ultimate Assassin to sabotage someone's else assassination attempt, it went against everything she believed she knew about him.
She refused to believe she had read him that badly, so when Monokuma announced the Class Trials and the even bigger bombshell that if they let the blackened win everyone but that person would die, Kyoko had to see what reaction he had to such news.
Based on what she thought she knew up to that moment about him, she expected a lot of things, but nothing of them good. Apathy, boredom, disinterest, or worse, actual interest were atop of her list.
Being in the middle of a mental breakdown was not even put into consideration, nevertheless, that ended up being the correct answer. She couldn't even begin to form an idea about what was going on inside his head at that moment, but the faces he was making as Monokuma elaborated on what a Class Trial involves disturbed her to her very core.
Then the incident with Enoshima occurred.
…
…
…Sigh.
You can never talk about Shigaraki without involving the Fashionista at some point, it is impossible considering that she is the only person that didn't had a problem with him since the very beginning.
If Kyoko were to be blunt about it, she thought that Enoshima was only vouching for him because of being an extravagant airhead that wanted to experience the rush of befriending an Assassin, while on the other side of the coin, She, along with most of the class apparently, expected for it to turn into a fruitless endeavor. At the time, it was less her believing negative things about Shigaraki, and more he being a no-friends kind of person.
Then she saw that he was sitting next to her on the very first day.
Then, after asking around, discovered that Shigaraki spent the entire day with the Fashionista on the first day…and most of it on the second and third day.
And on the fourth day, when Kyoko saw by herself the fond looks he gave to Enoshima from time to time 'If Shigaraki was trying to be subtle about them, he failed terribly. It was hard not to notice them when his expression while looking at the strawberry blonde in comparison to the rest of the group is like day and night', how annoyed he sounded when Fukawa confronted the Fashionista and how he blushed when Monokuma teased them with implications of a possible romantic relationship between the two…saying that it baffled her was cutting it short.
Was it that easy?
Was it that simple to bond with a professional killer of Shigaraki's caliber?
Or could it be that Enoshima's was much more than what she let on? Perhaps her talent as Ultimate Fashionista helped her find a way to connect with him in a way the rest of the group couldn't? Those questions and the fact that not even once Enoshima has shown trepidation towards their resident Assassin made Kyoko feel the need to reevaluate her opinion of the strawberry blonde.
Although regardless of all of that, any doubts she had about how genuine was Shigaraki about his 'non-romantic as far as she knows' relationship with Enoshima were put to rest when said girl had the 'brilliant' idea of attacking Monokuma.
A lump of horror formed in Kyoko's stomach when Monokuma began to talk some nonsense about a spear spell, thinking she was about to witness the first death of one of her classmates.
Then it happened.
One moment Shigaraki was in the corner of the gym facing some kind of existential crisis, and half a second later, he was princess carrying Enoshima in front of the stage with a stack of spears piercing the floor behind him. The only thing she had managed to see in-between of that, was what appeared to be a shadow taking physical form rushing with a speed comparable to that of a bullet in the rescue of Enoshima.
Around 25 meters in less than a second.
It was impressive…and terrifying.
Before she witnessed that, Kyoko held on to the hope that Shigaraki gained his title of Ultimate Assassin because of the precise use of his intellect to pull his kills. Granted, it was less hoping for that to be the case and more that since she already knew he was doted in mind, it would be too much to deal with if he were to also to be gifted in a physical sense.
So much for that, seeing that all this time save for perhaps Ogami, apparently Shigaraki has been capable of killing every single one of them before they could even guess what happened if that inhuman speed he possesses is anything to go by.
Fun.
What happened next was, again, impressive…and just as terrifying.
The fact that no one had died so far made Kyoko held no illusion that Monokuma would let go so easily of the kill he was promised the moment Enoshima broke the rules. This is why she wasn't surprised when the monochrome bear demanded for Shigaraki to give up on the Fashionista, though the same couldn't be said about…that.
…No, I will not allow you to do anything to her, you fucking waste of space.
When those cold and apathetic words came out of him, it was as if a darkened aura of hatred surrounded him. The amount of killing intent he was releasing at that moment was so much that she could observe her classmates being physically affected by it. Some were on the verge of falling to their knees, a few had to fight the urge to throw up, and everyone, without exception, had distressed looks on their faces.
All of that was when directing it in the opposite direction, towards someone who had nothing to do with them. The prospect that Shigaraki is capable of actually hurting people '…Or worse' directing such malice alone towards someone weak-minded enough is a scary one.
Just as scary as his reflexes, if how he dodged that spear Monokuma launched at him in retaliation without looking was any proof.
Being good at hiding your emotions doesn't mean you are immune to them after all.
And as if Kyoko needed a reminder that he was smart, there was also the cherry on top of the cake on this series of events.
Apparently, Shigaraki didn't got the memo that the rules Monokuma created were specifically designed to kill, either by the hands of their fellow group members or by the monochrome bear himself, because not only he did bend those same rules at his convenience to save a life, he also went further and made use of them to put the mastermind on a check with the far from empty threat of ending the Killing Game right then and there.
Togami could claim all he wants how much he sees and enjoys their situation as a game, but Shigaraki's understating of this 'game' is vast enough to make her doubt this is his first experience.
Regardless, the mysteries regarding both Shigaraki and the person controlling Monokuma began to pile up when the bear addressed the golden-eyed boy after he was done with his rebuttal.
All this time and I never knew of this side you just showed! Like seriously, I have always taken you for a blind lov―Ah! I already said too much! A bit more and…well…let's not go back there, alright?
That combined with…
You had to act as a bigger weirdo than your usual self and rain on my parade, didn't you?
…Plus all those times Monokuma has addressed Shigaraki differently than the rest of the group…
Musing about that also made her think back to the motives. There was one more thing about Shigaraki's motive that felt strange, though this time, she could point out what it was.
It was too personal.
In insight, that might sound dumb when you take into account what was everyone's motive about, but…even when comparing her motive with Shigaraki's one, his felt over the top.
Granted, she doesn't know what everyone's else motives contained 'Save for Maizono's if the Idol was honest about it', while hers lacked a lot of details and the mocking at her lack of memories was there, but in comparison, Kyoko could almost feel the sadistic glee at every personal attack during Monokuma's speech in the video belonging to Shigaraki. Insulting his very existence, those crude remarks about what he went through during the process of becoming an Assassin. There was also the girl shown in the motive 'Everything points out to being his adoptive sister…', the orphanage, and then…
…Then there were the kids.
If there was any spec of doubt in her mind that their captor was evil or that there was a bound he wouldn't break, Shigaraki's motive took care of it in its totality.
All in all, with everything put together, a question appeared in her mind:
…Does the mastermind and Shigaraki have some history?
He could be hiding it 'He already has already proved how good he is at that…', but to Kyoko not even once it has seemed that Shigaraki had any kind of recognition towards the mastermind while the mastermind appeared to be the opposite, as if knowing him for quite some time, if those implications he made had some merit.
By now, she had learned her lesson that coming to conclusions too quickly about anything related to Shigaraki is bound to bounce on her face, so she will keep this information stored, but she won't take it at face value until she finds anything to prove it as such.
Though that doesn't mean her worries have ended.
Giving a discrete look to her left, she observed the subject of said worries.
As everyone 'Well, almost everyone' was panicking and giving concerned looks at Shigaraki, no doubt because of the bounty Monokuma put on his head, it seemed that such a dangerous position went past him in its totality.
Oh, he looked worried…but not for himself.
While still holding hands with Enoshima, his eyes were darting everywhere, but the increased intensity with which he stared at the floor under the Fashionista didn't went unnoticed.
…
…
…Sigh.
Putting aside the problems she has with him, even the densest member of the group can see that Shigaraki sees Monokuma as an enemy, while his most recent actions show that he prioritizes Enoshima's safety over anything else.
And she has zero proof to believe he is zealot enough to sacrifice his life to act as an accomplice for the Fashionista, or worse, allow Enoshima to kill him to make use of the most recently added rule 'Even if the concerns are there…', so she will not allow her mind to form suspicions about that.
Instead, she will go back to square one and keep herself neutral towards his actions until they prove undeserving of such neutrality.
…That doesn't mean she will stop her search for answers that could allow her to get back her memory though.
"…Erm, Enoshima…are you sure you're okay?" Shigaraki asked her.
She responded in kind "Y-Yes, I'm fine…g-geez Shigaraki, didn't knew you were such a worrywart"
Even if she made that comment after Shigaraki asked about her well-being for the hundredth time in the day 'It was the 127th time actually', internally she was head over heels about how concerned about her he sounded, the fact that he was still intended in holding her hand was almost making this day morning events worth it.
Almost.
After…after that…that incident happened, and the reactions to the new rule died out, the group began to discuss the unresolved matter of what to do with Maizono. With someone like Togami and Celeste around it was impossible that something like that would've gone forgotten.
Not that she paid much attention to it. She opted instead to tune out that new discussion the group was having in favor of putting her focus on the warm and comforting feeling that was holding Shigaraki's hand.
When everyone was finally dismissed to do whatever they wanted, she feared that Shigaraki would've taken that as a signal that he already did more than enough to keep her company.
It made her ecstatic how far from the truth that ended up being the case.
As soon as they were free to go, Shigaraki suggested taking her for a walk, though the awkward way he expressed himself, full of hesitation and a tiny bit of shyness, showed how not used he is to anything related to comforting people. She didn't minded though, things like that fall in line with what she can relate with him. 'Just the effort alone he was taking for her sake was endearing enough'
Either way, she immediately said yes.
To their misfortune, the first floor was…lackluster in things to do, so they did just that, walk. Oh, Shigaraki tried to make it more than that. From time to time, he attempted to bring out topics of conversation, though most of the time he winced and stopped midsentence. She noticed that he did that every time he was about to talk about something related to his career as an Assassin.
She really couldn't blame him, the fact alone that he was taking the initiative to talk about…well, anything, is something that she could never see him doing for anyone else 'Not even before the memory wipe', and as far as he's aware, such topics would make most people uncomfortable, not her of course, but he doesn't know that.
And that's her fault.
But even that wasn't enough for him to give up on making her day slightly better as he changed tactics and proposed something else.
Cooking.
Suffice to say, it ended just as badly as the second day. After a few failed attempts, he decided to resort on his trademark recipe: Sandwiches. Though even if he saw it as a failure, she instead, thought every second of it as worth it because of the embarrassed and apologetic faces he was making in front of her during the whole ordeal.
She didn't knew how much she missed his expressive self until now.
It's not like she minds the stoic way he carries himself most of the time, that's charming in its own way, but seeing his facial expressions change from the norm is a privilege only she could claim to own.
In any case, after eating, there was more walking…and more attempts from Shigaraki to talk about something that didn't involved his missions, weapons, poisons, or assassination in general. Seeing how much he was struggling with that, she decided to spare him the trouble and reassure him that just walking in silence was more than enough.
And that was the truth, talking of anything outside of their respective talents is something that both of them have always struggled with. How could they not? That has been the only world they knew about for most of their lives. Before getting into Hope's Peak, they never had the time to develop interests outside of their professions.
…Besides, her current circumstances make it impossible for her to show actual interest in those subjects Shigaraki is bringing.
All in all, spending time with him like this was much more than what she could ask for…
…Save for one thing.
"Was I acting like that? Uh, I…I see, sorry about that, Enoshima"
That name.
The first days she didn't minded that much to be called like that 'Though saying that didn't hurt that he was using that name in those special moments in which they were re-bonding would be a complete lie…', after all, she understood the role she was to play. Besides, putting aside the name, it still felt like he was talking with her, the real her.
Then…then that happened and since then, every time he uses that name it is like a stab at her chest.
If only he were to use her actual name…
But he doesn't blame him for this, if anything, she's more than aware that the only person to blame here is her.
She sacrificed her friendship with Shigaraki, the memories the both of them made, all those special moments, and for what?
A bunch of spears mocking her existence.
A bunch of spears that if Shigaraki hadn't interfered would've killed her.
A bunch of spears with a clear message.
She has been betrayed.
It was only thanks to his constant company thorough the day that she was capable of keeping those feelings that wanted to consume her at bay.
…Is…is this how he felt that day?
No.
It surely was ten times worse. Whereas even with his memory wiped out he's been here to protect and comfort her, the last thing he saw on that occasion was the moment she stabbed him in the back.
Him using the name of that person is her punishment.
And precisely because it is her punishment, and only hers, that she won't let him know of her internal sorrow.
"Ah, you don't hafta worry 'bout that, I'm completely okay, see?" She gestured to herself with a strained smile.
"…I see" Wich he noticed, of course he did, he has always been good at catching up on her mood "In any case, if there's something you―"
*Ding dong bing bong*
"Ahem, Ahem, this is a school announcement. It is now 10 p.m. As such, it is officially nighttime. Soon the doors to the dining hall will be locked, entry at that point is strictly prohibited. Okay then…sweet dreams, everyone! Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite…"
…
She fought the urge to scowl.
"Tch" The same couldn't be said about Shigaraki though.
That's a side she never saw before.
Him getting angry.
Despite all the similarities in their lives, Shigaraki is far more controlled than her in his reactions. It's not like he doesn't have those moments her classmates would classify as 'scary', but they were out of annoyance rather than actual fury, and unless it involved physical contact, it stopped at just glares…unlike her. '…Well, there was that one time back on their practical exam where he reacted just as bad, though it was only for a moment, and it was more like cold apathy rather than hot fury…um, now that she thinks about it there was also that other occasion with those octuplets…'
While part of her feels bad that her mess up put him in such a mood, she also felt flattered that he got so worked up out of worry towards her.
She doesn't deserve it.
Before those negative thoughts leaked on her outside mood and infected Shigaraki, she decided to call it a day on her own volition "…*sigh* As much as I don't like to follow up with the antics of that damn bear, I guess this is it for today. Good thing we are already in the dorm area, eh?"
"…"
The following silence immediately began to form a lump of worry on her stomach "Shigaraki?"
"…" More silence.
Was…w-was he finally m-mad at her for what she did today? "H-Hey…Shigaraki? Are ya―"
"Enoshima"
Once again, she put aside the pain at being called by that name to address him "…Yes?"
"…If…if something happens…or…or you just felt like it or whatever else…" The concerned look on his face from this morning came back as he looked directly at her eyes 'Were his cheeks always that red?' "…Call me at door, I'm a light sleeper so you don't have to worry about the hour being a problem…"
…
…
…E-Eh!?
…Was…was he suggesting what she thinks he was?
As tempting as it was, she had to play it off as her 'usual self' "O-Oh, Shigaraki? Showing your true color, eh? Are you gonna―"
"I'm being serious here!" The firm and raised voice put any of what she was going to say to a halt "I…S-sorry about that…just, no matter what…please do that…"
Please!?
"…A-Alright" It took all of her will to not accept his offer right then and there.
Not because she didn't wanted to accept it or that she lacked the need for more comfort, hell, if it were up to her, she wouldn't mind being in his embrace for another day…or week…or month…or year…or if he were to ask her to spend the rest of their lives together―
―As much as she would want all of that 'That last part more than anything else', there was something of great urgency she had to attend to.
There was a certain person she had to confront.
When they finally said their respective goodnights 'For the 10th time', and begrudgingly let go of their hands 'Was her hand always this cold?', she locked her door and took off her wig while throwing it aside on the ground. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it right.
With her nerves steeled, and ready as she could be…she called that person with the little audacity reminiscing this morning's events gave her.
"Junko! We...we need to talk!"
She internally scolded herself for the hesitation mid-sentence, though at least the tone of her voice was enough to make know she was almost demanding for that person to heed her call 'Has…has she ever done that before? Not that she remembers…', she could only hope that was enough to make up for her slip-up.
The next thing she expected to happen was either being completely ignored or Monokuma appearing out of nowhere as he usually does while snapping at her for calling it by that name.
"Hm? What do ya want?" She wasn't prepared for that person to immediately answer…without using Monokuma as a medium.
Hearing the sickly-sweet voice on the monitor on her back made her gradually lose her bravado as she warily turned towards the screen, and when she was finally done…
…There she was…
Junko Enoshima…the real one…her twin sister in all its despairing glory.
Besides the hair ties, the neckties and that red bow her sister had on her left side of the chest area, the attire both of them wore was identical.
That's where the similarities ended.
While they are supposedly twins, the discrepancies are enough that, even if it was for different reasons, neither of them thought they looked remotely the same.
Her light-purple narrow eyes that scared almost everyone who put their sight on them paled in comparison to the bigger and charming red eyes her sister hid behind those blue contacts. Her ugly and freckled face that no one but a single person has ever complimented wasn't spared of a loss against the clean and perfect one belonging to her sister, whereas her face was diamond-shaped, her sister was rounder like, doing nothing but highlight her cuteness.
Even when talking about their…assets, her other half was superior.
And if that wasn't enough, even something like the aura each one radiated was like the sky and the ocean. Whereas hers was meek and gloomy, the real Junko carried herself with confidence and a sense of superiority that she could never hope to reach.
But that's something she had known for years. What stood out for her more than anything else right at this moment was the blank face with which her sister was looking at her. No matter how much she tried or boasted in the past about knowing Junko well enough, she just couldn't figure out what was on her head right at this moment.
Far from the bubbling fury she thought would accompany her the moment she put sight on her sister, she could only watch with growing trepidation at what would be her sister's reaction while she tried and failed to think about what to say.
"Oi, did you just called to gawk at me like a creep or are you gonna say something?" The real Junko snapped.
At least that worked as a bucket of cold water that brought her out of her stupor "…W-Well…I wanted to ask―"
"You can tell me later, or not, I don't give a shit, I will make the questions first, beginning for…" Suddenly her previously apathetic expression returned with vengeance that it even looked as if a shadow grew above her eyes "…Why you didn't told me?"
…Eh?
"…Tell you…what?"
"Are ya dumb―wait, what am I saying? Of course you are. Fiiine, that was on me so I will elaborate: Why didn't you told me that Shigaraki had more than a single brain cell?"
…
…
…
"…What?" She was more confused than anything at this point.
"Holy shit, that question couldn't be easier for you of all people to respond, or what, finally fulfilling your dirty fantasy of watching him as his non-existent parents brought him to this world fried your brain?"
! ! !
"I-I d-don't know what are you―"
"Bullshit! Now that's you playing dumber than your usual self if that's physically possible. The bathrooms way not have cameras, but they aren't soundproof…I could hear clear as day how you were taking advantage of him, you know? Upupupu…"
W-WHAT!?
S-She wasn't doing anything like…like that!
Back then she was worried that something might've happened to him. She was so distressed by that thought that when she finally found him in the bathroom the first order her brain commanded was to embrace him out of relief after confirming he was fine.
The next thing her mind recognized was the weird texture of his 'clothes' which now that she can think clearly about it, obviously weren't clothes…but neither skin, at least not in its normal state.
It was a scar, a big one.
When the discussion of the Holy Salvation Society was brought up and Shigaraki mentioned how his organization sees its members as assets…he wasn't hyperbolizing it.
Among many of the things he confided to her 'And her to him…', that was one of them. It was around the summer of their first year when everyone frequented the pools and they questioned Shigaraki's insistence to wear a shirt every time. As is usual for him when an inconvenient subject is brought up, he was only partially honest, with the mention of scars and how uncomfortable would make him if the group looked at them.
At some point though, he told her the complete truth.
Every time a recruit survives the initial training the Salvation Society puts them through, they brand their backs with a cross no different than the one Shigaraki has on his shirt as if marking them like a new product.
As if Shigaraki was nothing but a tool, their tool to use as they pleased.
…
…
"…That was not what happened…" She commented with half a pout and half a frown.
Though Junko didn't seemed interested in her opinion "Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that ya fat slut, anyhow…I asked you a question. I knew he wasn't dumb, but not dumb shouldn't have been enough to pull the shit he did back at the gym, hell, even Miss Daddy Issues would've much more problems doing something similar in his shoes. So, for the last time…since when he had the brains to do that?
…
…
…Is…
…Is this some kind of test?
It had to be.
There's just no way Junko wouldn't…
"…If you ask me since when…that would be since the beginning"
While the assassins of Shigaraki's organization are already trained to be the best of the best in the art of assassinations, they didn't beat around the bush when it came to him. As their 'Golden boy', they forced him to learn everything they could teach him about the subject.
Besides things any assassin learns like management of explosives, firearms, poisons, melee weapons, martial arts 'He could never beat Ogami on them, but they are something he's proficient at too',traps, among others, Shigaraki was also trained on the cognitive department. Observation skills, intuitiveness, adaptability, deception, manipulation of information, quick thinking process and analysis in stressful situations.
It didn't help that because he had a natural talent for consuming every lesson they gave him without a problem, the higher-ups of his organizations made a vicious cycle in which as soon Shigaraki learned something, they immediately went on to the next thing, doing the same again and again, no different than having a sponge and testing how much it could absorb before it became of no use to them.
Those bastards…
When Shigaraki told her about it, he assured her that he didn't held any grudge against them, at least not for that, though the somber way in which he recalled the details about it made her skeptical about how honest he was being about that.
But regardless of her opinion on it, that's always has been something Shigaraki possessed before losing his memories. When she thought that Shigaraki would be a natural for this Killing School Life, she meant it. Surely Junko already―
"So you really knew…" Even when Junko was on the other side of the screen, she could feel the need to cover her arms out of the cold running through her body as a side effect that chill voice was having on her "…And it never occurred you telling me about it?"
"W-What…?" Junko can't be serious about this, right? "B-But your talent…!"
Even if right now she feels an ounce of satisfaction at not telling her sister about it, she never felt the need to tell Junko about that side of Shigaraki in the first place. Sure, he was never open about it with the rest of the class, and the occasion to show off inside Hope's Peak never came, but as long as the insides of his mind didn't drifted too far away from his usual intelligence, just a pair of seconds should've been enough for Junko to pick up on that.
It seems that bringing up exactly that point spared her from her sister's fury, at least temporarily, if that thoughtful frown was any indication "Blegh, you didn't had to remind me about that weirdo's inner thinking's, the only thing I always saw was him being a freak, every single fucking day for two entire years drooling about…about…about…" A look of realization appeared on Junko's face that slowly but surely turned into one of her trademark grins "…Upu…upupu…upupupupu―Hahahahahahahaha! N-No…no fucking way! Is that really it!?"
She didn't knew what to make of the elated expression on Junko's face "Two freaking years, and that son of a bitch managed to cover himself from me all this time thanks…thanks to…pfft…I can't believe it, like seriously…all thanks to his fucking kink!?" Kink!? "It's hilarious! It's so stupid! It's so bullshit! So unpredictable! So despairful! I love it! HAHAHAHAHAHA" Then the elation turned to exhilaration "Ahh~ And because I overlooked that, it led to the entire world seeing him as the indisputable victor of the very first round! That's…that's so…so…FANTASTIC~" She finished with absolute ecstasy 'Was she blushing!?'
Confusion was cutting it short about how she was feeling right now "…Uh, Junko, by any chance, are you feeling ok―"
Before she could finish that, her other half interrupted her "I couldn't feel any better! Not even once in my entire life, has someone gotten closer to making me face a defeat like the one he caused! Gotta say, sis, I always thought of him as a loser of the same level as you…but turns out he knows how to make a girl happy, doesn't he?"
Under different circumstances, she couldn't have been more over the cloud at hearing about how cheerful her sister was.
These weren't those circumstances.
Since she had memory, protecting and making her sister happy has been the only thing running through her head…before coming to Hope's Peak, before meeting her classmates, before meeting him. Perhaps as a consequence of that, her horizons were allowed to expand during these two years full of new feelings she didn't believed capable of experiencing in her entire life, and…and perhaps because of that same reason, the churning feeling inside her that has been accumulating since meeting with Junko 'Which grew exponentially after those last comments…' worked as a chemical reaction to regain enough boldness to finally ask "…Why?"
It was as if that question alone was enough to crash on her twin's parade "Hm? Did you say something?"
"Why?" She repeated, clearer this time.
She couldn't resist flinching when her sister snapped at her "Tch, now you are running my mood, why what? Do you think I care enough to put any effort in guessing what are ya talkin' about?"
The sparks of annoyance that were put to rest the moment Junko showed on the screen were resurfacing as her face turned into a frown "…I…I was talking about this morning events…why…why…why―"
"W-W-W-W-Why? Speak clearly you stuttering bitch!"
That flipped a switch she didn't knew she had on her "Why did you tried to kill me with those spears!? T-That wasn't part of the plan! I-I followed every step of it to the letter, b-but even so…you…you still betrayed me! Why, Junko!?"
Such was the question that plagued her more than anything else.
Why?
Because there had to be a reason, right!? Some great sin she had committed without noticing because of being her usual dumb self, r-right!? Something, anything! A reasonable validation as to why Junko would think that she's better off without her at her sister's side, a why…
…R-Right?
She should've known Junko wouldn't have that kind of mercy "Oh, that…I changed my mind about the plan at the last second"
…
…
…Junko betrayed her…because she changed her mind?
That…that sounds like something her sister would do…
…But that couldn't be everything, Junko…she wouldn't get rid of her for something like that when she needs her more than ever! Surely there's―
"Actually, that was a lie"
In a sort of strange way, it was a relief to hear that, maybe once she hears what was the truth, she could begin to make amends towards―
"I have been planning to get rid of you since a few days ago" Her sister said with such a casual voice that it took her almost one minute for her brain to register what she just said.
…
…
…
…
…
"…H-Huh?" She whimpered.
"Yeaaaah, at first it was just because I was getting a combination of being bored of you and sick at your terrible interpretation of me, borickness you could say…but then Shigaraki happened"
The part about getting rid of her out of 'borickness' would've been enough to put her in a shock of horror if it weren't because the mention of him caught her attention "S-Shigaraki? W-What does he has to do with this?"
Even when Junko was aware of her distraught expression, the casual tone didn't left her for a second "When I saw that not even wracking your existence out of his mind was enough to stop him from acting like a leashed dog around you, it reminded me back to my disguised self when those old ugly bastards were sniffing around me like the virgin perverts they are―were"
…Disguised self…?
Is she talking about Ryoko?
"Ah, that's a 'Is she talking about Ryoko?' face if I ever saw one. Yeah, I was referring to that amnesiac clusterfuck, speaking of which…Heeey~ do you remember how I regained my original persona at the end of those series of events?"
As much as she didn't liked where this was going, that question made her recall on automatic what Junko was talking about.
She remembers the humbling sound of the elevator descending.
The two figures outside of said elevator.
One blessed with ignorance.
Other cursed with understanding.
The moment the cursed one chokes the blessed one.
Then the blessed one dies… just to resurrect as a whole different thing.
Then it stabs the cursed figure with a knife.
What follows is…
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
Splat.
While that happened, there were laughs and cries of absolute despair as Junko looked at the body of―
! ! ! ! ! !
…T-T-That's…
…I-It…can't…
…N-N-n-no…
For the first time during this reunion, a whole different personality took over Junko "BORING! Even your fucking face of despairful realization is boring!" And as soon as it happened, it switched to a more intellectual figure with glasses and a single ponytail "But yes, just as you've probably surmised by now, besides getting rid of you out of 'borickness', killing you had the extra purpose of putting Shigaraki on the deepest bottom of despair" Then it switched to a sickly-sweet personality "Hehehe~ You should've seen his face! I could almost taste his despair the moment you put your boot on Monokuma~" Out of nowhere the cute persona was gone and in her head was now a crown "Oh, the tragedy! Because of the unexpected reveal of his intelligence and skillful use of the rule's loopholes to create the risk of compromising the Killing Game we have missed such delicious despair, a despair that even legends would've been told about! Would have been enough for him to commit suicide? To enter into a fit of frenzy hopelessness and decide to kill the rest of our classmates right then and there? Exuberance! The possibilities are endless!"
…
…
…It…it was already bad enough when Junko told her about being bored of her…
…But this…? This…this is…is…is…
…Just what is this…?
This entire day she has been thinking of how bad it felt to be betrayed by her sister…
…But what about Shigaraki?
What about how he would've felt at losing the only friend he has as far as he's aware? Watching her give her last breaths right in front of him? She may see herself as worthless, but the perturbed expression of Shigaraki while saving her from the spears tells it's another tale for him...or…or what about―
! ! !
…Or their promise of looking for…for a dream…together…
…Oh…god…
…
…
…
…
…She…she can't…not anymore…
"Hey, you know him well enough, right? Which option do you think has the biggest chances? I personally lean towards―"
"I quit…" She whispered…
"What was that?" It seems her voice was so low that Junko didn't heard her.
Though she was willing to oblige with a response "…I said…that I quit"
There were a few seconds of silence in which her sister did nothing but blink before replying "…Quit what?"
She didn't knew where this courage was coming from, but she was fully intended to make use of it "I…I quit being your accomplice in this! I-I won't conspire with you any longer! I won't betray him!"
Not anymore.
She…she just can't keep doing that to him.
Once she was done with her declaration, she waited with dread anticipation. As if no different than a stare contest, both sisters locked eyes with each other. Any kind of amusement her sister had on her face was gone, and in exchange, that blank face that always unnerved her made an act of presence. Each second that ticked felt like an hour, all the while she forced her confidence to not waver under her first genuine act of defiance against her other half.
After what felt like an eternity came to an end, a sound was heard once again inside the monitor. She honestly expected a lot of different reactions from Junko after what she said. Anger, shock, horror…perhaps sadness that she was turning her back on her or the despair of she no longer being at her side.
"…Oh, I…I see, I guess this is―pfft HAHAHAHAHA! Holy crap, you can't seriously say that shit with a straight face! It's…It's hilarious! Hahaha!" She didn't saw that mocking laughter coming.
But it was enough to make part of her confidence crack "H-Huh? What…what's so funny about what I said!? I mean all of it!"
"That only makes it funnier! Saying junk like 'I won't betray him!', bitch, you ALREADY backstabbed him, remember? Or…do I have to make the reminder that you personally put the needle on his neck? "
She flinched hard at that while attempting to make a counter "…I…E-Even if that's true, I can―"
But just as always, Junko beat her to it "You what? If you are suggesting that you will reveal the whole truth, then let me do both you and Shigaraki a favor with a piece of lifesaving advice towards your meaningless self: Don't"
"…What are you talking about?" She asked with no small amount of wariness.
Junko sighed in exasperation when that question came "Ugh, for someone who claims to know all about him, you sure don't. Even when taking away the reaction of everyone at such reveal out of the equation, you are aware that he isn't Makoto 'I believe in everyone!' Naegi, right? Which I remind you, even him, for all of his disgusting optimism, is having a hard time forgiving psycho idol for that ruse she pulled. The moment Shigaraki discovers your involvement in all of this and what you did to him, you can bet your ugly ass that not even you will receive any mercy from him"
Even if her confidence was quickly getting on its last legs, she still tried to do a rebuttal against that "You…you don't know that! You don't―"
Unfortunately, Junko had one of her own "Oh I believe I know…do I have to remind you about that incident? How far he would go if it involves his just as creepo of a 'sister'? How cruel and merciless he can be if push comes to shove? Faster than you could say sorry he will put a knife in your throat the moment he discovers your involvement in compromising her"
"W-What!? But…but that…N-No! T-that can't be! Maki isn't―"
"So what? As far as he's aware, she is. His motive implied that much"
! ! !
The motive!
…She…she forgot about that.
Shigaraki saw his motive, and from what she could tell, it affected him. He truly took it at face value if those faces he was making even before he saw it are any proof. While his reaction wasn't as strong as she would've expected it after everyone watched their videos, it wouldn't be far-fetched to think he was just holding himself back.
And to make matters worse she didn't got any mercy to think things through "Finally, getting an understanding of the mess you're in?"
"…I…I…I won't betray him…"
That cruel smirk on her sister's face told her lack of a threat Junko saw her as "Oh? Then are ya gonna spill the beans even knowing what that will imply?"
"…I…I…I…I―"
The smirk turned into a snarl "Will you stop stuttering like a retard!? Even someone as brain-dead as you could answer this: Will you tell him!? Yes or no!?"
Although she was supposed to be the big sister of the two, all she could do was whimper like a little kid at the ultimatum Junko put in front of her as tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.
That was all her sister needed to turn from furious to disinterested "…Of course you will make the choice that would prolong your bubble of lies and delusions. So disappointing, so predictable, so…boring"
"…" The only sound coming from her at this point were just more whimpers and sobs.
"…*sigh* Seeing that you are useless to me and a nuisance at best for him and the rest of our classmates, sure, go play the rebel soldier, I couldn't give less of a fuck. If that is all…" A slight look of remembrance appeared on Junko's face "…Oh, right, this will probably be the last time we will talk like this, so, great last talk sis, or not, whatever, I don't care, toodeloo~" And without saying another word, the screen turned off.
She didn't knew how much time passed after that, but at some point, she registered that she was sitting under said screen while hugging her knees and burying her face in them. The moment she became aware of it was the moment she let the gates of her sorrow free…and cried until she couldn't anymore.
…See you later…Mukuro…
Those words used to be a promise of a better future…but now…
…Mukuro Ikusaba didn't knew what to make of them.