Readers following this will know the drill now. And yes, the curtains are falling for our pair of old wizards – soon.
1996 Spring term
1st January 1996
Dear Gellert
I fear I have been remiss in guiding Potter. Do you still recall the Deathly Hallows? Children's tales. Yet this might be what is required. I have been busy researching the Stone, which remains lost to this day. He has to be informed, but not that soon – lest Tom finds out. The boy's link to Tom grows stronger by the day. Last month, he 'saw' an attack on a member of the Order by one of Tom's horcruxes – his familiar Nagini. Harry needs to learn how to shield his mind, lest he is unwittingly possessed by Riddle. I would like to work with him but there is a risk Riddle might access my mind through the boy. The only other candidate skilled enough to train the boy is my spy within Riddle's circle. Will this be a wise move given their mutual difficulties? Potter loathes the man and I fear my spy is no friend of his either.
Still, what is the worst that can happen?
Wishing you a happy New Year
Albus Dumbledore
January 1996
Dear Gellie
How are you. I seem to be getting the days all confused now. I just read there was a mass prison break from Azkaban. Shocking I would say. They never tightened up security after that Black wizard escaped. You never escaped from Nurmengard, and that is saying something about using dementors for guards.
I do wish Udo will visit some time. We can have our little tea party in the kitchen with the Dumbledore girl, if I can convince her mother. Do you think she and Udo will make a lovely couple? There was this young lady with the glasses and blond hair… charming really…
XXXX
Your loving Auntie
Bathilda
Spring 1996
Dear Auntie
Have you been majorly Confounded or gone senile? Udo got eaten by a dragon, thank Merlin. Even if he didn't, Cousin Udo should never be trusted anywhere near little girls. And I never liked those tea parties. Please check yourself into the wizarding hospital for a thorough check-up or a care home.
Who is this visitor you speak of? I know it cannot be that Vladimir, Voldimalt or whoever from that Koldie kibbutz you were knocking about with. According to the Babushka Yaga Times, the idiot managed to get a portal ritual so wrong, his remains are likely scattered from St Petersburg to Vladivostok by now. For the last flipping time, black cockerel blood is potent stuff. A little goes a long way for runework. Your visitor better not be a pesky reporter.
Your nephew
Gellert
Spring 1996
Dear Albus
Please drop by and check on Auntie Bathilda soon, I fear someone without her best interests at heart has been seeing her – or she has utterly lost her gobstones for real this time. As for your precious boy – get a soul-magic expert to give him a thorough scan already. The Russian chap I would have recommended is no more, so I would suggest you contact Madam Yukiko Ohana if she is still running about the islands of Hawaii. Kitsune magic can be a bit chancy, but I am sure she could get that nasty Horcrux into a tacky ring before dropping it into the local volcano to be cleansed.
As for that Occlumency teacher, I would have recommended Vinda, but she is now a lemon tree somewhere in Italy. What's the worst that can happen? Let me see – the last time I left two of my people who loathed each other in a locked room to talk things out, I had to get the house-elves to clean someone off the wall. Who do you like better – the boy or the spy? Or are both equally expendable?
You are thinking of feeding drippings of information to the lad, aren't you. Most teens lack the focus needed to piece clues together even if you hit them on the head with it.
Do not expect any miracles there, old friend.
Gellert
8th March 1996
Dear GG
I have been tasked with teaching an arrogant, hot-tempered prat Occlumency. He has no talent whatsoever for the skill. This is the wish of my employer. In addition to enduring his incompetence in Potions, I now have the pleasure of wasting my evenings listening to his tantrums and poking about my private spaces. Brat not only took after his father in looks, but in his insufferable character as well. My patience is at an end.
Will it acceptable to throttle the dunderhead with his worst memories? Or at the very least turn him into a toadstool?
Halfblood Prince
8th March 1996
Dear Tante Giselle
I have been fired for incompetence by the Ministry's High Inquisitor! I have been a Divination Professor at Hogwarts for more than ten years. I have nowhere else to go! What should I do?
Sybill Trelawney
Spring 1996
Dear Prince
Wow, you sound stressed. You need some time off. Perhaps a hiking tour of the European Alps will be in order? I have the odd feeling his worst memories are likely to be yours as well. Hang in there.
GG
Spring 1996
Dear Sybill
Finally, someone saw you for the fraud you are. If you have the remotest affinity for the Sight, you would have already squirreled away a nest egg for a nice cottage on the moors. Or did you plunk the lot on sherry? I do suppose since the headmaster of Hogwarts is such a softy, you might be able to keep that cubbyhole you call home, for a bit at least.
GG
16th April 1996
Dear Gellert
Oh dearie me, I have never been caught so off-guard in all my years. The dear boy and his friends started up an Army in my name, right under my nose and I was unaware of it. They are going to be in so much trouble with the Ministry, so I took the fall for it. I hope this will stop them from being expelled or worse. You must believe me when I say I had no idea at all about the nature of their study group.
Still, I am impressed by what the castle has done for the students. I only stumbled over a room full of chamber pots. I hear they got a classroom, duelling quad and potions lab – though I might be mistaken. I am making use of this break to set some of my matters in order before returning into the fray. This nonsense with the Ministry is taking up more of my time then it is worth.
Yours sincerely
Albus
Spring 1996
Dear Albus
Convince me that a ragtag student army fighting under your banner was formed without your knowledge. I do suspect you have a hand in it. Please – do we still recall that sorry band you put together for Bhutan? At least they were all of age. Though inclusion of a Muggle was playing dirty, even for you. Given your relationship with Ministry, I am surprised you did not put someone in your debt up as Minister sooner? Or did the Scamanders decline when you asked?
Do try to stay alive. Forget about all that nonsense about the Resurrection Stone and stuff. If you still need to talk with your dearly departed, there is a ritual that involves a Ouija board and a witch with a faux Eastern European accent operating out of magical Paris. Your parents will likely find you as much a disappointment as mine did. So why bother asking?
Snarkily yours,
Gellert
P.S. if you have the time, may I request that you drop by Godric's Hollow to check on my aunt? She has not written in a while.
P.P.S. Will it be too much for you to visit me once in a while?
10th May 1996
Dear Gellert
I hear that the Weasley twins have been expelled, but not before leaving a whole lot of pranks for the new headmistress. The little blighters put up quite a showing with their charmed fireworks. I do wonder who provided them the seed fund to set up shop in Diagon Alley. Their mother is furious, of course. A pity as they might have gone further with a NEWT in Charms. She has written to ask me for help getting her sons back into Hogwarts. I have been relieved of my duties as headmaster and have no say in this matter.
As both young men are legally of age, they are not beholden to me or their mother on their decisions on their academic qualifications. However, I expect we will be seeing a few more Howlers before Mrs Weasley accepts their decisions. It is getting a bit annoying being greeted by Howlers each morning.
Yours sincerely
Albus
10th May 1996
Dear GG
I have been thinking about my career prospects (assuming I survive the OWLs). I wish to be an Auror like Tonks and Moody, but my headmistress believes I will be rubbish at it. Should I lower my expectations to wand salesman or something? My House Head believes I will make the grade and have the aptitude – then there is that crazy Dark Lord thing that happens to me almost every school year.
OWL-ed Out
Spring 1996
Dear Albus
You are the one who deserve to have your pants pranked off as headmaster, not your teachers. I do hope your replacement can afford the students some satisfaction. NEWTs are overrated. Perhaps you might wish to redirect the Howlers to new Hogwarts headmistress instead? If she is Minnie, I think she will enjoy chasing and shredding them as a cat like they deserve.
Yours snarkily
Gellert
Spring 1996
Dear OWL
Why by Merlin's hairy ass does everyone want to be an Auror these days? There are other magical careers out there you can consider – potioneer, healer, magizoologist etc. As you did not provide me any details on your grades, might I be so bold as to presume you are a D student? Theory is all well and good, but sometimes you need to prove yourself. Have you helped take in any dangerous criminals recently?
You might also consider being an anti-Auror and dip your toes into the shady magical underworld of Knockturn Alley or the like. Indulge in a spot of bank robbery if you dare, cast dark curses, and go on the run from the law. Or you can break into the Ministry and steal her secrets for sale in the magical black market. Or smuggle illegal artefacts and magical beasts.
Yours sincerely
GG
19th June 1996
Dear GG
We were given special privileges over our fellow students and, well, we used them to our benefit. We confiscated letters and packages to and from their families, deducted points from the other Houses for minor offenses and blackmailed them with the threat of detention under the headmistress. We have been pranked and hexed repeatedly over the past months, but we had the Headmistress and the Ministry on our side.
Well, we just received news the headmistress is in the Hospital Wing and old Dumbledore is heading back to replace her. Moreover, the Ministry is now revoking all the decrees issued over the past year. We doubt the old man will keep us around now. What should we do?
The Inquisition
Summer 1996
Dear Inquisition
Why are you lot still twiddling your thumbs and waiting? Cut and run before the rest of your fellow students form a lynch mob and have that merry bonfire or string you up from the Astronomy Tower by your toes. The thing about pinning your banner under someone else's is that you must know when the gig is up, and it is time to skedaddle. Just like my little cohort of Japanese wizard mercenaries flew back home when they heard I was planning to duel Albus Dumbledore. Only wished I had checked in with them before agreeing to the duel. Ah, hubris.
GG
25 June 1996
Dear GG
I utterly messed up and my godpa's dead. Well. I had this vision that my godfather was in danger in the Ministry of Magic's basement, so I got a few of my friends to fly to London with me to rescue him – without telling any grownups. Well, we could not get hold of a Floo to call one and my House Head was still in St Mungo's then. Turns out the entire vision thing was trap for me. We had a fight with the Death Eaters and their Dark Lord before Dumbledore turned up to save the day. He brought the Order, including my godfather. My friends got injured, my godfather got killed and fell through that Veil… A couple of Death Eaters got arrested and the Ministry admitted they were wrong about Voldemort not returning. I feel so hollow inside. I never will go hippogriff riding with my godpa, hear tales of the Marauders, or even clear his name…
Help please?
Lost Puppy
Summer 1996
Dear Puppy
You are clearly grieving for the loss of someone who means a lot to you. Cry, speak to someone. Mourn the loss. Take some time off to heal. Then go get those Death Eaters and let them burn in fiendfyre. Are you any good in conjuring and controlling that?
Being a Seer, I will strongly advise you against trusting those Visions or Prophecies. They are chancy things. Instead of running in headlong, plan, observe – keep your cool and analyse the situation. Got any good friends who will Stun sense into you the next time you feel like running off into danger?
Yours sincerely
GG
Author's Notes:
How s Grindelwald's advice going down? He is torn between trying to encourage Harry to be the good guy and turning his back on the entire Chosen One business.