Anna welcomed the feel of her lips tightening against the back of her fingers. They were such a poor imitation of Kristoff's, but they were enough when augmented by her imagination. His lips, inexplicably plump and lush, were exactly the right balance of wet and dry, and they spilled over her skin like magic. Each time his lips touched her body, her eyes filled with so many stars she had to wonder if she was even still alive.
A giddy smile erupted on her face each time she replayed the kiss in her head. Every time she closed her eyes, he looked at her again as though she were an angel, and her stomach flipped. She would have felt ashamed of his false perception of her, but her shame was overshadowed by the good feelings rushing through her body. That memory turned her head to toe into a bundle of nerves, and she tossed and turned all night, unable to escape the tension. She even shed her pajamas and underwear in case they were causing the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach, but that only made it worse.
She ended up on her stomach, moving her hips up and down, trying fruitlessly to scratch the itch. Then her hand crawled under, where Hans had been. She went slow this time, sat tall and proud, free from self-consciousness and guilt, to be with Kristoff. His hands moved with her hips, only tight enough to keep her steady as she consumed more and more of him. And when her thighs couldn't take anymore, she leaned forward onto her hands, and his hands roamed to touch more of her. He was gentle, and he followed her lead. He didn't try to take anything from her, but she gladly gave him everything anyway. And he gave her more than everything; he gave her stardust.
He said her name like a distant whisper, gentle at first, then a little louder as she got closer.
"Anna!" she heard as the door swung open, shattering the illusion.
It slammed just as quickly and she collapsed onto the mattress—completely naked and covered in sweat. She planted her face into the pillow and buried herself under the covers as though they would protect her retroactively.
She made a box for her father interrupting the best sex dream she'd ever had. But she wasn't able to throw the memory in it before he softly knocked on the door and made it so much worse. "Princess… Um, it's time to get ready for school."
Even if she knew what to say, she wouldn't be able to say it. The best she could hope for was that he just stopped talking and left for the refugee camp.
"Ok, well, I think I'm going to head over to the refugee camp a little early today. Um… "
There was another beat of silence and Anna bit her lip til it bled. She was burning up under the comforter, but she needed her father to leave before she could even get out of bed.
"Is Kristoff coming over tonight?"
Anna cringed again and shuffled her legs, not able to shake off the shame. Her father saw everything .
"No!" she finally managed. There was no way Kristoff was ever coming to her house ever again. In fact, there was no way she was ever talking to him ever again!
Agnarr's sigh was loud enough to hear through the door. "Ok. Well, I'll probably be home a little late tonight." He left another silent gap, which she wasn't going to fill. "Have a good day at school, Princess."
It wasn't going to be a good day. At all. It was going to be excruciating.
And Kristoff wasn't going to understand how their relationship could be over before it even began. Especially after he finally opened up to her, and she finally let him in. And she kissed him! There was no way she could explain this to him. All she could do was avoid him, and hope he didn't notice.
Anna had a big test that morning, but the only reason she left her room was to make Alex's lunch. Her father never never asked her to, and Alex was completely capable of doing it himself, but Anna had been making his lunch since before she was Alex's age. It was such a simple task, especially since she was already making her own lunch, and it was hard to imagine not doing it for him. But as she was gathering all the ingredients, she remembered what her father said to Kristoff when she was sick, that he relied on her too much. She heard it in his voice that day, all the guilt he hid from her. It was more than acting as translator for him, spending every spare moment at the refugee camp, and making hers and Alex's lunches. If she had come to that realization a day before, it would have eaten her up. But now she was so filled with shame that she just didn't have room for it. The shame was overflowing so much that she felt numb to it; it was the only way she could function. But she made a box for her father's guilt anyway. This box was blue and white, though, while all her other boxes were brown. She and Agnarr would need to open this box together one day. If she could ever manage to look him in the eye ever again—which was a big 'if.'
The sandwich she made for Kristoff the night before, after she kissed him, had been perfect. She took her time slicing the tomatoes, peeling off leaves of lettuce until she found the perfect size with the least blemishes. She laid down the cheese and meat at least a dozen times so it lined up perfectly with the bread, and arranged the pickles so they were symmetrical. And then she measured the sandwich across so she could slice it exactly down the middle. She and Alex didn't need anything so elaborate, just edible, and Alex wouldn't even notice anyway. But Anna put the same amount of care into Alex's sandwich that day as she had for Kristoff, just to have something else to think about than the events of that morning. She lost track of what she was doing, though, as she scraped some peanut butter into tiny containers, and Alex had to remind her about the carrots. Then Anna broke apart some small stems of grapes, but she pulled too hard and she ended up separating a couple handfuls of grapes, which scattered all over the floor.
Anna covered her eyes and the shame poured down her cheeks. She leaned her back into the counter and sank down to the floor because she couldn't stand.
Alex crawled up next to her, knowing something was wrong, but not what, and said, "No use crying over spilled grapes, right?"
Anna laughed and fell into his tiny arms.
"Don't worry, I'll clean this up," he assured. "I don't really even like grapes that much anyway."
Anna wiped her eyes dry, then blew her nose on a paper towel, and added Mandarin oranges to their lunches instead.
"Just put them in the trash," Anna instructed Alex, not even caring about rinsing them off and eating them anyway.
If it weren't for Alex, Anna wouldn't have made it to her test that morning. They always walked to school together, and she didn't want today to be any different. Alex was as animated as he ever was, and told her all about what he was learning in his science class, the book he just finished the night before, and how the new class guinea pig sounds when she's hungry. His impression, and the cute way he puffed out his cheeks, was the only sunlight to break through the storm clouds swirling dark above her.
"And she loves carrots!"
"Wow, that's so cool," Anna said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
He put his hand up to his mouth as though he were whispering, but he wasn't capable of it. "Sometimes I give her one or two of my carrots. Shhh!"
Anna smiled a little wider, and put the moment in her 'Alex melts my heart' box for when she missed him.
Alex gave Anna another warm hug, twice as long as the one in the kitchen, which she cherished, and for a moment, she let it comfort her. But then it grew uncomfortable, and she felt like she might contaminate him. Her stomach got heavy and knotted, and she was grateful she hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. She let him hang on as long as he needed to, though, and went back to feeling numb as soon as he let go.
And she stayed numb, walking in a blur, until her locker door crashed shut and revealed Kirstoff's smiling face. Her heart skipped a beat, and she clutched her books close to her chest, ran a finger along the glossy stuck together pages to stay on the ground while Kristoff's wink threatened to take her away from everything.
"Hello," he said smoothly in Northuldran. His smile was about as bright as Ahtohallan would allow it to be.
Anna blinked herself out of the fantasy, and her eyes focused straight ahead. She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in his chest like she had the night before, and let him replace all the bad feelings with the good, but then she remembered why she was feeling so weird. It didn't matter how badly she wanted to walk in the light with him, it just wasn't possible anymore. And just as quickly as she stood in awe of him, her face turned to stone and she walked around him. He jogged to catch up, then he walked backwards so he could talk to her.
"Did you have a good night?"
Anna rolled her eyes because Kristoff didn't even notice that anything was wrong. He wasn't going to get it anyway, but she obviously wasn't going to explain it. She kissed him last night. She kissed him. She kissed him . And now she wished she hadn't. Though she'd do it all over again—and then some—if it meant making him feel better. But she didn't have any business being more than friends with anyone right now, though. Even Kristoff. Especially not Kristoff. He deserved a lot better than her.
But the longer he talked to her, the harder it was to remain stoic. Every part of her wanted every part of him, and every quirk of his lips, every blink that threatened a wink, every strand of hair curling around his hat, begging for another one of Oaken's terrible haircuts, weakened her defenses, and reminded her of the shame she couldn't bear for him to see. She felt more ashamed of what her father had witnessed than anything she allowed Hans to do to her. And the shame of disappointing Kristoff would crush her in a way that she'd never be able to recover. It would be way worse than disappointing her father; at least her father would love her no matter what.
It was better to end things now, before she fell any deeper into the trap of Kristoff's warmth and being crushed by his rejection. If she waited for the next day, or the next week, the pain would be even worse. She had to do it now.
"So, are we still studying Coronan tonight?" he asked, now walking next to her, and talking as softly as he could while still being heard above the hallway shuffle. "I know we did last night, but I was hoping we could study together again tonight. I mean, if you're not sick of me yet."
Anna tried to say the words, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't make a sound, and even if she could, her mouth wouldn't open more than an inch.
Kristoff pulled her by her elbow in front of the maintenance closet, and held onto her hands. His eyebrows knit together as he stared into the void that had taken over Anna's expression.
"Anna?" Anna? Are you ok? Earth to Anna!"
He playfully tugged on her braids until the snapped back to him.
She swatted his hands away, and shook her head. She looked him in the eye, knowing what she had to do, but then somehow her body made room for the guilt of breaking his heart. So she looked down and steeled her stomach.
"What's wrong?" he asked again, this time keeping his hands to himself.
That would have been the moment to say it, but instead, she said, "Nothing. I just… I'm nervous for a test. That's all."
He smiled and held onto her shoulders. "Oh, well, you shouldn't be nervous about that. You're so smart. You'll do great."
Anna let the corners of her mouth curl up just slightly. It felt good knowing how smart he thought she was, and that it wasn't even a question that she'd do well.
"So, um—"
Anna cut him off with, "Sorry, but I gotta go. I wanna read through the material before the test."
"Oh," he said with more than a little disappointment. Then he brightened, "Well, can I at least walk you to class?"
Anna turned her head down and to the side. "It's too late, Kristoff. You should get to your class," as she walked away, leaving him stranded in the middle of the hallway, like an island in a sea of people that didn't have any idea how special he was.
The only reason she made it to her test was because if she ducked into the girls' bathroom to let the tears flow, they wouldn't have stopped. Instead, she sat in the classroom as though nothing had happened, and she focused on her test so she didn't have to think about Kristoff. And she was Good Student Anna for the rest of the day. She even skipped lunch to work on her research paper for Coronan language class.
Anna forgot herself, and smiled when she saw Kristoff leaned against the flag pole after school. He was chewing on a pencil and intently reading from one of his text books. If she was as behind in school as he was, she probably would have dropped out. But Kristoff never gave up; he was the most patient person she'd ever met.
She had an impulse to hug him from behind and kiss his cheek, and relax the cutely concentrated look on his face. But then he noticed her, and Ahtohallan lit up his eyes in a way that made Anna's knees weaken. It was as if he were seeing her again for the first time in a week, and he missed her enough that amplified everything he liked about her. Anna's world faded around them, and the need he would have satisfied ( had her father not interrupted! ) came back in a rather urgent way, and she nearly tripped over the box. She bit her lip to make the feeling go away.
"Oh, Anna! How was your test?"
She walked away from him, and said, "I'm sorry, Kristoff. I need a rain check for today."
"Ok," he said as he lunged after her. "But what is rain check?"
He almost ran into her with all his forward momentum when she stopped to face him. She sighed and pursed her lips, then she sighed and pushed a braid behind her shoulder. She was dying to touch his day old stubble, but instead hooked her thumbs into her backpack straps.
"I'm sorry, Kristoff. I can't do this," she said, then quickly took off away from him again.
She walked as quickly as she could without running. And despite her legs being much shorter than his, and a lot less strong, he had to jog every few steps to keep up with her.
"But… Anna, wait," he stopped. "Now? Or ever?"
Anna glanced at him, desperate to be rid of him, but not allowing herself give in. "Not today, Kristoff."
"Well, are you ok, though? Is everything ok?" he asked in Arendellian.
Anna ground her teeth, but didn't look back until she nearly shut the door in his face.
Kristoff put his palm flat against the door, and said plaintively, "Stop pushing me away."
His breath was ragged, his eyes filled with tears, and he was somehow looking up at her despite being a foot taller.
Seeing him like that caused a wave of panic to pass through her, followed by her own blood boiling her with guilt all the way to her finger tips. She was hurting him. And she'd been so absorbed in her own feelings that she had completely ignored his. How could she have done that to Kristoff? And now he was ready to end it, she was ready to do anything she could to keep him. He was giving her one last chance.
There was only one thing that could save their relationship, and she didn't have to think twice about it because she already liked Kristoff more than anyone else she knew. And she'd been on fire for him for days. Months , actually. She couldn't foresee any version of the future where she didn't need this from him.
She took a deep breath, and made sure he knew she was looking up at him when she pried his hand from the door and pulled him across the threshold. Then everything went fuzzy, and they moved in slow motion, though she desperately needed it to move faster. She didn't think about anyone or anything except Kristoff, and she monitored every tiny expression to learn what he liked. Even the worsening, and nearly unbearable, pain between her legs came second to giving Kristoff what he wanted.
She grabbed his shirt by the collar and pressed him against the back of the door and kissed him the way she wanted to the night before. And he wrapped his arms around her. She felt both extremely comfortable and uncomfortable as he tightened his grip on her shoulders. But he let go immediately at her slightest resistance against his arms.
Anna dragged him to her room, her lips still pressed against his. But she panicked again when she passed through her doorframe. She reached for the door in her mind, but her hand didn't seem capable of anything other than holding on tight to Kristoff. She wouldn't have been able to let go to save her life. Then she gave in to the feeling of not being in control, until she just didn't care. It was almost as though her body had a mind of its own, and she didn't have the strength to stop herself because she wanted Kristoff; she wanted this with Kristoff, more than anything else in the entire world.
She pressed his shoulders until he sat on the bed, and she straddled his lap, and he cradled her closer. And then he took off his hat, looking Anna in the eye as he threw it to the ground. Anna immediately ran her fingers to worsen the knotted mess and scratch his scalp while he hummed into her chest with pleasure, his arms hugging her close between his legs. He was enthusiastic, but he was holding back, and that also irritated Anna, because holding back wasn't even an option for her.
He kissed her neck on the side, then under her chin, all the way down her neck to between her clavicles, and he lowered her shirt collar to kiss as far down as he could. Then she took her shirt off so he could go farther.
Kristoff's breath hitched, and he stared. Then he brushed the backs of his fingers down her shoulders, then put them around her waist, touching as much skin as he could, before his mouth continued down her sternum, all the way to her navel. She whispered his name between moans.
Then she held his cheeks and drew his attention to her lips. She cradled his head until he relaxed, and she laid dozens of wet kisses on his cheeks, letting his stubble scratch her skin raw. Every time her lips touched his skin, they didn't want to let go, but she had to breathe.
She gently pushed him to his back and sank onto his hips. He laid there reverently, as though this was just as unreal to him as it was to her. And she couldn't resist showing him how real it was.
She moved his hands to her thighs, and he kneaded her, hesitant at first, then harder as she leaned forward, and he knew it was allowed. He laughed when her braids landed at his temples, and Anna smiled and rode him harder.
She reached her hands under his shirt and warmed her fingertips along his burning sides. She never imagined any part of his body would be that smooth, aside from some body hair that caught underneath her thumbs. Kristoff's hands moved to her hips, and Anna's periphery turned to stars. She was so close to Kristoff spilling over her glass of shame and filling her with bliss
Then Kristoff laughed again when she got close to his armpits, and his legs and arms seized into a ball around Anna. She sat up, and caught her breath. The stars faded, and he was forcing her hands outside of his shirt.
"What?" she panted. She leaned over to kiss his neck, but he stopped moving beneath her.
"You don't have to do this, Anna," he said. "This isn't what I meant by not pushing me away."
She sat up and opened her mouth in disbelief, unsure how to respond. Her cheeks were twice as warm as Kristoff's body, and she was so flooded by a wash of colors and she lost track of what was up and down. "This isn't what you want?"
The colors slowed enough that she could actually see where she was, and the first thing she did was put her shirt back on.
"No, I mean. Yes. I mean, I do want this." He squeezed her hips, and said, "I know you know that, Anna. Ah. But, last night you said—"
Anna lifted her leg, and would have fallen to the floor if Kristoff hadn't caught her wrists in time.
"I know what I said!" she yelled as she snatched her wrists away. This was about so much more than wanting him to stay. And such a rush of feelings came at her that she couldn't tell any of them apart except the physical sensation of what he offered her then took away when it was just in her reach.
"Anna!" He put his hand on her shoulder, and forced her to look at him. "What's going on? You can trust me—"
"—never to hurt me? I know," she said facetiously as she stretched up as high as she could to reach the suitcase on the top shelf of her closet. The closest she got was barely grazing her fingertips, not even enough leverage to barely budge it.
Kristoff turned on the light, and easily reached over her head to yank on the suitcase. But Anna pushed against him at the same time, and she fell back into him. Somehow, he managed not to let the suitcase fall on her.
"And yet," she said with rolled eyes as she pushed her way out of the closet. "You're not really doing a great job of that right now."
She grabbed onto the suitcase, but he didn't let go.
"You know me, Anna, and you know what I want. I've been completely honest with you. And you know I'm not going anywhere. And you—"
"Forget it," she said as she let go of the suitcase. "I change my mind. I don't know what I was thinking. I want you to leave." Clearly Kristoff was going to leave her in such a state that she'd have to take care of herself.
Kristoff gently let go of the suitcase, and Anna had to take a step back so she wouldn't fall over.
Kristoff raised his eyebrows as he scooped his hat from the ground and put it on his head. He put his hands in his pockets and frowned. Then he shook his head. "No. You're pushing me away again."
"Kristoff, what do you want from me? I thought that's what you wanted. But clearly it's not."
Kristoff didn't say anything.
"Ok, that's great. That's awesome. Now I want you to leave. I'm serious."
"No," he said, "I don't think it's such a good idea for you to be alone right now. I think I'll just st—"
"Fine!" Anna cleared shirts and pants and pajamas from her drawers while Kristoff watched.
She'd thrown everything into her suitcase haphazardly, until she got to her underwear drawer.
She snapped her head around, and said, "Well, if you're not going to go away, could you at least give me some privacy?"
"Yup. Mhmm. Yeah, sure, I'll just—"
Anna swept him out of the room and shut the door in his face. She scooped up some underwear and a couple of bras to top off the suitcase. Lastly, she stuffed her sun scarf, her mom's earrings, her snowman picture, and the literature textbook with the pressed flowers, into the bottom of the suitcase, and she made room for Kristoff's toilet paper roll.
She opened the glittery lip gloss, and inhaled sweet vanilla. It reminded her of how hard she tried that night of the Vuelie, and she began to sob. She threw the lip gloss into the suitcase, rested her face on the toilet paper roll.
She suddenly felt enormously embarrassed for throwing herself at Kristoff. What was she even thinking? After telling him for months that they were just friends, and giving him a very rational and well thought out explanation of why they couldn't be together, which she knew was right. And he had been so patient with her, never asking for anything more, respecting her boundaries (for the most part). Anna was so sure that's what he wanted, that he wanted it at least as much as her. And, after all those months of pursuing her, he rejected her.
She listened for any sign of Kristoff, but the house was completely silent. She sunk onto her heels and held the toilet paper to her eyes, and she wailed. She called his name because there was something worse than what her father witnessed, and that was Kristoff not wanting her.
A quiet knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Anna? Everything ok?"
She sobbed harder because him being there somehow made it even harder.
Kristoff quietly turned the door knob, slunk into her room, and planted himself on the carpet behind her. Anna had nothing left to defend herself against him; all she had was tears and vulnerability. And she allowed him to move her limp and doll-like body onto his lap. And then she squeezed him around the chest and sobbed into his neck. He kissed her temple and folded her in until she'd exhausted herself from crying.
She made the mistake of breathing in Kristoff's blend of fresh mountain water, sweat, and pine, because now she was exactly where she wanted to be and didn't want to move. She could have enjoyed being in Ahtohallan's glow with him forever, but as soon as she let go, reality would come crashing down on her.
Kristoff cradled the back of Anna's head and her upper back. His hands were just there, not moving, not squeezing, not restraining, but they had the weight of intention and stability. They were the kinds of hands that wouldn't make any sudden movements. They knew how strong they were, and they were quiet and humble.
She had just treated him like trash, and he still wanted his honest hands on her?
Anna laughed as she pulled away from him, and he smiled with her.
He was definitely too good for her.
She didn't have enough energy to keep smiling, and even less for talking, so she stood without saying a word, and zipped up her suitcase. She took one last look in her closet, and Kristoff turned off the light and closed the door, before wheeling her suitcase to the front door.
She walked to the kitchen and took out the baby carrots and jam from the fridge, and started slathering peanut butter on two pieces of bread.
Kristoff snatched a baby carrot from the bag, and Anna glared at him. Then she caught him eyeing the peanut butter and licking his lips. Without a word, Anna spread some peanut butter on another slice of bread. She took the utmost care to stretch the peanut butter all the way to the crust. Then she spread grape jam onto three slices of bread, and put one of the sandwiches on a paper plate for Kristoff. She searched the fridge for something else to give Kristoff, who she knew was still hungry, because she couldn't let him eat the entire bag of Olaf's favorite food. She found some string cheese, which she also added to Alex's lunches, and gave Kristoff the last Mandarin orange. She inspected the fruit to see what was about to go bad, and she cringed when she realized how many grapes were left. She didn't want to deal with them again, but they were the clear choice.
She worked at tearing a couple of bunches off for Alex, but she still couldn't break the stem. Kristoff silently covered her shaky hand and she let go. He easily pulled apart the grapes without spilling any. While Anna added them to Alex's bags, Kristoff separated the rest of the grapes from the stems and put them on his plate. He slid it towards Anna so it was in the middle of the island.
He took a few and popped them into his mouth one at a time, and Anna ate a couple, too, between trips to the fridge to compile a shopping list for her father's next trip to the store.
"Where are you going?" Kristoff asked as he lifted the handle on her suitcase.
"Rapunzel's." She tried to be nonchalant, but raised her eyes nervously to see if he'd protest.
"Ok," he said, and he took the handle from her hand.
She crossed her arms, then took turns pulling on her backpack straps while they walked in silence.
"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm running away?" she asked when she couldn't take it anymore.
He shook his head, and said, "I know you wouldn't be leaving unless you had a good reason."
Then he said, "Thank you for the sandwich, by the way. It was really good. Almost as good as the one you made me last night."
Anna nodded her head and offered him a small smile.
"You're still the reigning Sandwich Queen."
Anna blushed when he smiled at her, and he said, "And the grapes. I've only had the purple ones. But I could eat as many of the green ones as you gave me."
"I'm glad. Neither Alex nor my father would have eaten. And the grapes would have sat in the refrigerator to mold."
Then she shifted her eyes uncomfortably, and said, "My father didn't hurt me or anything, if that's what you're thinking."
Kristoff shook his head, and frowned into a shrug. "I didn't think that."
Anna slipped her hand into Kristoff's free hand, "Does it still hurt? Your shoulder?"
"It feels better now," he said with a wink. Then he clasped his hand tighter in hers, and she felt at peace walking the rest of the way to the mayor's mansion.
Kristoff awkwardly rolled the suitcase to Anna once they got to the front gate.
"Kristoff, I'm so sorry. For today. For… everything." She couldn't even look at him out of shame.
Her cheeks burned painfully until he rested his hands on them and cooled them to a much more comfortable temperature, and by the time he drew her face towards him the guilt swirling in her belly was lessened by the gentle flaps of a thousand butterfly wings. He moved his hands down her neck to rest on her shoulders, the rough tips of his thumbs caressing her neck.
"Do you forgive me?" she asked, practically begging him to absolve her to relieve her guilt.
He shook his head, then kissed her cheek. And he winked when he said, "How can I forgive you if you haven't done anything wrong."
Anna caught his hands as they floated down.
"Will you be in gym class tomorrow?" he asked.
Anna began to answer, when she realized he needed reassurance, as well.
She smiled as though nothing bothered her, and playfully twisted his hands, "Of course! I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to spend a whole hour with you in the middle of the day."
"Eugene will probably be there, too," he joked. Plus Hans.
"Oh, is he in that class, too? Hmm. Hadn't noticed," she teased.
"So you'll be there then?" he asked again. "You'll sit in front of me?"
He smiled to shine all of Ahtohallan's love, and she held his hand in front of her face. She looked him in the eye, and said "Yes," before kissing his palm.
He smiled, then winked as he walked away.
Whatever guilt that was plaguing her completely subsided in favor of the butterflies in her stomach were going to let her fly away.
"Wait, Kristoff," she said, jogging after him. She wrapped her arms around him, and said, "Thank you…" in Northuldran into his chest. "... for everything."
He covered the back of her head with his hands, and kissed the top of her head. "I'll do anything to keep you safe and happy, Anna."
He sighed, and added, "And I want you to know how much I was holding back today, and how hard it was for me to stop. I should have stopped it before we even made it to your room, but I got lost in a cloud of Anna and it was a little hard to think."
Anna giggled. "I can relate."
"I just want you to know that the only reason I stopped it was because just the night before you said you weren't ready."
"So, still friends then?" Anna asked, equal measures of disappointment and relief.
He sighed, and said, "I think you know I want to be more than friends with you. But I want to be friends until you're ready for that. You're so… ugh… what's the word? Important, someone to protect? Someone I want all to myself, to be with always. Whose opinion is more important to me than anyone else's."
Anna giggled, and said, "I think you said it better."
Then he repeated what he said the night before, the Northuldran phrase she didn't understand and he couldn't translate. She might not have understood the words, but her heart skipped a beat when she understood their meaning.
The last thing she wanted was for him to go, but he looked over his shoulder, and the sun lit up his cheek. Then he smiled, and she saw his dimple. She was so grateful he stopped her. Not just because it wasn't the right time for her, but also because he deserved more than what she offered him that day. He deserved nothing short of total adoration and respect, and she wasn't in a position to give that to him right now, no matter how much she wanted to.
Anna held her head up high as she walked to the front door. Aunt Arianna dragged her inside, and said, "You're here! We were about to pick a movie. What do you think? Classic? Animated?"
"Animated classic?" Rapunzel asked before offering Anna a bowl of grapes.
Anna took one and smiled. "Actually, I need to unpack first. And take a shower."