"Hamaguchi is such an idiot," Houjou scoffed, flicking her wavy, light brown hair with her right hand. She strolled along the grey pavement that led directly to her apartment. The stormy clouds did little to rattle her as she walked onward without an umbrella on hand.
All she had to do was recount her walk with Hamaguchi earlier that day. For her, the meeting was a simple affair. He gave her a blue box with a white chocolate packet inside, walked with her to a junction, and then she went her own way. In her eyes, it was a maturely behaved White Day. Houjou let out a haughty huff and chuckled. She had dreaded the thought of giving away her heart earlier today. That would be most unbecoming for a lady of her stature.
Houjou arrived at her apartment complex and took an elevator upwards. When the elevator stopped at her floor, the elevator doors slid open. She stepped out of the elevator and walked to the front door of her apartment suite.
Once she arrived at her suite, she unlocked the door to her home using the keys she kept inside her school bag. She gently opened the door and slowly walked into her home. Once inside, she looked around. The darkness inside veiled the floor and furniture. She heard nothing, not even her father's snores or her mother's sighs. Houjou gave out a light sigh, flicked on a white switch on the wall, and called to her parents with a shout...
"Mom! Dad! I'm home!" The living room returned to silence. Houjou paused for a few seconds. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
Looks like my parents are going to be out late again, she concluded, shaking her head. She knew her parents were working hard to make ends meet as managers of Tonosho's tourism industry. Just last night she overheard her parents raising their voices as she tried to sleep. She couldn't make out their conversation clearly, but the muffled screams told her something was wrong. Thinking about that night made Houjou give out another sigh.
Well, at least I'm alone right now,Houjou continued. She took a satisfied breath, basking in the comforting silence. After a long White Day, she wanted to head straight to bed. Houjou slipped off her black school shoes onto a wooden shoe rack to her right. She then walked to her bedroom holding her bag, her full school uniform on. Once inside her room, she flicked on the lights to her bedroom, put her black bag on the floor, and crawled slowly onto her bed.
Houjou lay on her bed with a neutral expression on her face. She slowly closed her eyes and took some deep breaths through her mouth. Her breathing rituals were essential for her path to maturity. She was supposed to be calm and collected. She had to radiate an aura of inner peace in her posture. She was proud of being the mature girl at her school.
But then, a little bubble sprang forth from the crevices of her mind. It was a tiny bubble, but it floated all the while. Just as Houjou caught wind of her bubble, the bubble popped. Houjou let out a light yip. She recalled it: the gasp and blush she let out when Hamaguchi called her name... It was all too brief, but the memory was there. Her eyes popped open and her body froze on the bed like an icicle. She let out a frustrated groan, shook her head, and shuffled her body loose. Houjou shut her eyes with a humph, took another deep breath, and exhaled.
"Mature people don't let their emotions dictate their behaviour," Houjou recited. She let her lungs expand and contract to loosen her chest.
"Mature people don't give their hearts away that easily," Houjou continued; her eyes still closed. She took a deep breath once more, feeling her head tingle with an effervescent calm.
"Mature people don't express their feelings for someone with chocolate..." Houjou trailed off. She slowly opened her eyes and shook her head. She sat up on her bed, grabbed her bag, and hoisted it onto her bed. Houjou opened her bag and sifted through its contents. Houjou huffed before she widened her eyes and smirked. She pulled her arm out of her black bag and retrieved a small box wrapped in blue. Houjou traced her fingers onto the blue wrapping and slowly unraveled it from the box.
"What kind of chocolate did Hamaguchi give me?" Houjou asked herself as she jimmied the box open with her hands. With her right hand, she lifted the white chocolate packet inside the gift box. She tilted the packet back and forth while gazing at it. The longer she stared at the packet, the more Houjou felt her heart pulsate and her chest tighten. Houjou gasped, clenching her heart with her left hand. All the while, Houjou moved her right hand closer to her body, still gripping the cream-coloured chocolate packet.
"This is a Ghiradelli chocolate bar... It's hard to find these around here," Houjou's voice faltered. She pulled her hands together and closed her eyes. She kept her chocolate packet close to her chest and hugged it tightly. Houjou let out a swooning sigh, her face betraying a tender smile.
But her tenderness dissipated in a flash, her mature demeanour disrupting her trance-like state. Her eyes snapped open and Houjou violently shook her head. She retracted her hands from her chest, still holding the chocolate packet. She looked down and inspected the chocolate packet. She rolled her eyes with disdain.
I prefer dark chocolates... But these will do, Houjou recollected. They were the same words she uttered to Hamaguchi when he gave her the chocolate today. She recalled the dismissive sneer she directed at Hamaguchi. She placed her head in her hands and sighed remorsefully. Houjou shut her eyes tight and let out a soft "oof..." with her mouth.
"Maybe I should have been more accepting of his gift," Houjou mulled. Houjou flipped open the chocolate box and retrieved a foil-covered packet. She placed her left hand on the bottom of the foil packaging and her right hand on the top. Slowly, she unraveled the packet. Little by little, a small, white rectangle emerged from the packet. Houjou snapped off a piece of chocolate slightly larger than her index finger and held it between her index finger and thumb. She brought forth the chocolate piece to her mouth, as if it were an offering befitting of her eminence. She slotted the piece onto her tongue, closed her mouth, and tasted the morsel.
"The chocolate tastes a little bitter... Aren't they supposed to taste sweet?" Houjou grimaced. She tilted her head towards the ceiling and pondered with her eyes closed.
This was the same chocolate my grandmother gave me... for Valentine's Day of all days, Houjou recollected. Her mind took her back to the days when she visited her extended family more often. She was just beginning the final year of elementary school. She visualized the loving hug her grandmother gave in her mind. In response, she tightened her shoulders to her chest and turned her head towards the wooden floor. She recited in her mind the words her grandmother uttered with a loving smile.
"My Dear Houjou, look how mature you're becoming at such a young age! I love your braid so much!" Houjou fidgeted with the lone braid in her hair. She remembered what her grandmother said next with a smile that could warm the Earth.
"Look, I brought something special for you today! I bought these Ghiradelli chocolates for you while I was in Tokyo! Happy Valentine's Day Houjou!"
The pixels that formed the picture of Houjou's grandmother dispersed like the wind. Her grandmother's voice faded further and further from her conscience. Once her memory subsided, Houjou's arms dropped as low as they could. Her smile dissolved into a frown and her eyes formed a single tear. Her memories made way for another: a day where she had to wear all black for her grandmother's funeral just months later.
Houjou remained seated on her bed, letting out the deepest sigh she could. Houjou stared at the chocolate packet again, this time with her teary eyes slightly closed. Desperately holding onto the chocolate, she snapped another piece off and placed it into her mouth. Her hopes of the white chocolate tasting sweet were dashed once again when she took another bite.
"It's still bitter... but why?" Houjou scratched her temple with her left hand. As she continued to chew on the white chocolate piece, Houjou gently closed her eyes. Then, her mind transported her to another memory...
A younger Houjou stood at the ship's bow. She took deep breaths of sea air, her lungs feeling free like birds taking flight. She was on her way to Okayama on a family trip, just before she started middle school. Once they arrived in Okayama, Houjou leapt out of the ship's entrance with a gleeful smile. She and her parents traveled to Okayama Castle by taxi. At the castle, she posed for a family photo. In it, she puffed up her chest as if she was Queen of Okayama. At the souvenir shop, Houjou set her eyes on a snow globe with Okayama Castle encased inside. Her parents noticed her fondness of the snow globe and bought it for her. Unfortunately, the much-enjoyed trip took an unexpected turn in the hotel room:
"Hey Houjou, we have to cut our vacation short. Our bosses are calling us back for an emergency. We have to head back to Tonosho first thing in the morning," her parents explained with drooping heads. Her parents sat on the room's only bed and had wrapped their arms around Houjou from each side. Her parents then turned their heads towards her and tried to console her.
"We're really sorry dear. We want to make it up to you, so we'll get you some white chocolates before we head back..."
Houjou dropped her head recalling her parent's words. She then remembered: the white chocolates her parents gave her were also Ghiradellis. The chocolates were also sweet then, but they paled in comparison to the disruption of their plans. After all, she and her family have never gone on another holiday since. Houjou turned her head towards the snowglobe on her white windowsill.
If only I could visit Okayama again... Houjou lamented. She shook her head again and turned her attention back to the partly chipped white chocolate in her hand. This time, she unpeeled more of the chocolate packet with her fingers and took a larger bite directly from the chocolate bar. Her face squirmed again, even more so than the last two bites she chewed.
The chocolate from Hamaguchi... Why is it still so bitter? With each bite of the chocolate bar, her face turned redder with frustration. Once she swallowed her chocolate piece, Houjou lowered her eyebrows and shook her head more rapidly than before. Her mouth shut tight as she threw herself up from her bed and paced back and forth around her room. Her arms flailed about across her room and her feet began to stomp with each step.
"It's only a chocolate bar! Why am I so mad over a small piece of chocolate?!" The normally poised Houjou now grunted louder and louder. Her heartbeat pounded like taiko drums as she tried in vain to corral the tornado swirling in her mind. Her stomping feet magnified the volume of the inner drumming, her teeth now grinding against each other as she threw herself back onto her bed.
"Ugh! Why does Hamaguchi keep doing this to me?! I'm supposed to be mature, yet he somehow makes me feel like an angry kid every time!" Houjou cried aloud. She then projected a shrill scream at the top of her lungs while lying on her bed. Her home returned to quiet again, the silence only broken by her agitated huffs and puffs. Once she stopped huffing, she turned her head sideways to the chocolate bar she dropped on her bed during her tirade.
Just then, a larger bubble, previously hidden in her memories, sprung forth. The floating bubble popped itself, being too large to sustain itself. Her mind began painting waves of blue, green, and yellow that melded into a scene of her past. And it began with a familiar boyish voice buzzing in her ear...
"Hey Houjou, what's that on your mouth? Tomato sauce?" A shorter, younger Hamaguchi asked. He tilted his head towards Houjou's face. He darted his eyes towards her mouth, trying to make out the reddish splotches on her lips.
"No, you dummy, it's lipstick! I'm trying to model," young Houjou retorted, "You wouldn't get it since you're such an idiot," she continued with a humph. Hamaguchi continued to stare at her rosy lips. "Hey, get out of my face!" She whined as she smacked his right cheek with her right hand.
"Ow! I was only curious," Hamaguchi moaned with a doggy pout. He rubbed his cheek with his right hand to soften the sting coursing through his skin, "Besides, I don't think a real model would have such a big splotch on her lips," Hamaguchi retorted while scratching his head.
Houjou gasped at his remark. Her head turned downward sheepishly, she shuffled her feet through the dirt and grass beneath her. Seeing that Houjou stopped speaking, Hamaguchi chuckled nervously.
"Don't sweat it!" Hamaguchi consoled with a chuckle, "Personally, I think you look cute!" Hamaguchi finished with a wide grin, placing his hand on his chest. Houjou peered up from the ground and turned her head towards him, her face turning beet red and scowling...
The memory that diffused from her latest bubble was enough for Houjou to send another teardrop from her eye. She bowed her head down while seated and sighed.
"Hamaguchi always knows how to make me feel childish,"Houjou sniffed, "and I hate it," Houjou sighed. She turned her head towards the chocolate packet on the bed. Houjou mustered enough courage to reach for the chocolate once again. She grabbed the chocolate and brought it to her chest. She snapped one more piece of chocolate from the packet and took one more bite...
What small amount of maturity she had left was thrown out of the window after the fourth bite. Once she swallowed her fourth bite, she dropped the remaining chocolate bar onto her bed. She placed her hands onto her eyes and began to sob.
"Why can't I hold myself together whenever he's around? White Day isn't supposed to mean anything to me," Houjou questioned with tears streaming down her face. Houjou could barely make out the words she uttered underneath her tears and sniffs.
"But the way he gave me the gift... It was so flippant!" Houjou exclaimed, "Those Ghiradellis... were supposed to taste sweet, yet he ruined them!" Houjou shouted with fury. Her eyes, drenched with tears, grew more and more intense. Her eyebrows knotted together with each mention of Hamaguchi's name. Her sentences also grew more jumbled, her sobs overtaking any semblance of meaning she could muster.
"Why does any of this matter to me? Only immature people take White Day seriously!" Houjou slurred. Houjou grabbed her pillow and hugged it tight. Her pillow became drenched from her tears. Houjou wiped her remaining tears away with her shirt sleeves and produced a large sniff. Once her crying slowed, she fell back onto the bed.
"Hamaguchi..." Houjou's uttered softly. Her heart pattered with the waves of his name travelling to her ear.
"Maybe... I want you to know why the chocolate you gave... meant so much to me," Houjou sniffed with each pause.
"Maybe I really... wanted you to confess today," Houjou sighed, letting out a few more sniffs. Another tear trickled down her cheek.
"Maybe... I love you... Hamaguchi..." Houjou placed her hands onto her face. Her cheeks blushed a deep tomato red. Her heart paced like a wild galloping horse, free with the wind.
Houjou caught herself hyperventilating, unable to process the words that she just uttered under her breath. At the very next moment, Houjou reeled her heart in with her mind's grasp. She cleared the racing visions in her mind and stowed them away. Houjou ceased her crying and abruptly straightened her back. Shen let out a defiant grunt, shook her head, and huffed.
"But how can I? Hamaguchi is just a slob! An uncaring, thoughtless slob! No mature girl would ever want to be with him, especially me!" Houjou lunged out of bed and stomped her feet towards the closet.
"From this day on, I don't want to see or hear from Hamaguchi ever again!" Houjou declared aggressively. She grabbed her pajamas and stormed into the bathroom to groom herself and prepare for a completely mature life... without Hamaguchi.