(Warning: This chapter touches on distressing topic such as suicide. You've been warned)
Volume I: Ant. Chapter 5: Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire:
In front of the dartboard, Sophia and Marcus would turn out to be fierce rivals. Their aim was almost always on par with each other. However, away from the dartboard, the two got along very well. And just as Marcus promised, he would help Sophia with her situation. To do this, he would challenge people in the bars and taverns for money and proceed to share the winnings with his new friend.
Occasionally, Sophia would also bring Marcus over to her house where he would meet her siblings. When he was over, Marcus would like to spend time with Lucius along with Sophia. He enjoyed getting involved in their household antics. Whenever he could, Marcus would also sometimes help their oldest sister out around the house. He would even call her 'Big Sis' whenever he spoke to her. She thought it was adorable. Sophia, on the other hand, would poke fun at him for it.
For the entirety of a year, this was life for the Avalons. Everyone was stepping it up in their own way. The siblings even had to take care of the things their mother would do along with what they already did. This even included homeschooling, which essentially became independent study for them when their sister was not working. When she was around, Sophia and Lucius' sister would give them an intro lesson on Sundays and give them assignments. They'd also be quizzed or tested every Saturday weekly. Their sister, however, could only teach up to what their mother taught her. In the meantime, she'd also do her own studying to try and teach herself what her mother was supposed to teach her.
In addition to this, they'd also assist their mother with everyday things. This included walking and getting up and sitting down. They would deliver her food while juggling their other responsibilities and maintaining the house, too. It was stressful. But they had to be more independent and tough it out. The siblings were up to the task when they had each other. And in time, with their father working longer hours, their sister's job, Sophia and Lucius scrounging for whatever they could get, Sophia's pickpocketing, and Marcus' assistance, they were finally able to make enough money to save their mother. She would receive the procedure on August 2nd, the following year. Sophia would call this moment her late birthday present.
As a sign of thanks for Marcus' assistance, the siblings also offered to take him in. Surprisingly, however, the boy refused. They were all shocked.
When they initially offered, he stated:
"I'm good with what I have, thank you. I appreciate the offer, but I'm used to things this way. I'm comfortable where I am, you know?"
They tried to convince him to reconsider. But he was set on living how he did. They thought he was a nice kid, but they didn't understand him at times either. This was one of those times.
To the Avalons, it seemed like things were getting better and that they would soon return to their 'normal world'. Or at least they thought...
Their mother was recovering very well, too. However, though it was expected for things to just back to their original normal- things didn't revert all that much. Most of the things their mother did, the siblings were fully capable of handling on their own. At this point, they had gotten used to their new normal. So, because of that, they simply kept doing things on their own. Sophia would also continue to see Marcus and hang out with him as the two would stay close friends.
If there was anything that did go back to their original normal, Sophia stopped her pickpocketing. She felt she had no reason to do it anymore since they were no longer in dire straits. In addition, their father would go back to working normal hours as well, though his sleep schedule was still off. And then... there was, of course, their parents infernal fighting.
This frustrated Sophia to no end. Sophia would refer to it as "New year, same old shit." She was defeated by the fact that after what they went through for the duration of a year, it seemed like they learned nothing. It was as if so long as they were in their position, nothing would be learned. Nothing would change. It would either stay the same or get worse. Sophia would realize that this was the best they would have it. And she hated that more than anything. At times, she refused to believe it. Deep down, she thought that maybe- just maybe- if she were to find a way to get enough money to pull her family out of the gutter, things might change. But since they weren't in any dire situation, she fought the urge to return to her pickpocketing days.
Something to note, when their mother was out of commission and basically handicapped, being stuck in that state did a number to her mental health. She would constantly complain and apologize about feeling useless due to not being able to help to help around the house or for not being able to take care of her own kids. And the fact they handled everything she used to do seemed to reinforce the negative thoughts swimming through her head. She started to believe that she was unnecessary.
She would regularly offer to help the siblings whenever they were taking care of something. But they'd always decline. They mainly declined to be courteous and polite. But, they were not aware of how deep of a cut it was.
Their older sister, being the closest to their mother, would be the first to become aware of this. She would clue in her younger siblings and they would allow her to help more with things and include her more. They would even go as far as to pretend to struggle with tasks and ask for assistance to ease their mother's insecurities and self-doubts.
But with the negativity lingering in her mind from being practically immobilized, from being in constant need of attention, it wasn't going away. Combined with that, the stress their father endured working longer hours with little sleep on a daily basis, destroying his sleep schedule and depriving him of sleep, created a recipe for disaster. As their fighting continued, these factors made their verbal clashes even nastier. And it was only a matter of time until someone crossed the line and said something that couldn't be taken back. The siblings braced themselves for this inevitability.
The following month, in mid-September, that line would be crossed.
. . .
"I've had it! I'm fucking done with this shit!" The siblings heard their father shout downstairs from their room. They had started a late night fight and he had lost all patience and sense by that point The voice boomed so loud, they all jumped in surprise.
"Why do we keep you around anymore?!" Their father shouted at her. "With the amount of energy and money the kids and I spent trying to keep you alive, it only made me realize how much we wasted on you. Our time, our energy, our money. We don't need you anymore! The kids have contributed and provided more to this house than you ever have when you were able! And the stuff you already did, the kids can do on their own now… without you! So tell me, what qualities do you even bring anymore? Huh?! What can you do that we can't do ourselves? What do you bring that we don't already have? Face it! The only reason the kids let you help around the house is because they pity you! I'll say it again in case you didn't hear me the first time! They pity you! They pity their mother. And we don't need that around here. And we don't need you! Instead of stressing every day and night to help keep your ass alive, we should've just let the damn thing kill you. Maybe then I would have gotten some actual sleep instead of losing it over your sorry ass!"
The three siblings sat in their room listening to this. They all exchanged looks of horror, shock, and even sheer anger. It took every ounce in their older sister's body to not go downstair and slap their father. What angered their sister the most was their father's constant use of the word 'We' as if this were something they had talked about and came to a consensus on. The only thing that stopped her was that she was trying her best to keep Sophia and Lucius distracted. Deep down, Sophia knew her father didn't mean those words due to their mental states not being in the best shape. It was likely the lingering stress and the mangled sleeping pattern talking. But it didn't change the fact he said it anyway. And those words made an impact. And they cut very deep.
For the next few days, their mother's demeanor was very blue. She rarely talked. But whenever she did, it was always in a deeply somber voice. She'd also stop offering to assist her children. Even when they would pretend to struggle or ask for help, their mother would ignore them. Their older sister would try her best to support their mother and have a couple talks with her. But every time, their sister noted that their mother seemed distant. She wasn't even paying her words any heed.
The siblings would become very concerned and uneasy about their mother's safety.
. . .
September 13th, Monday morning:
This morning started like all the others. As the siblings woke up, they collectively initiated a race to be the first to use the bathroom. Though these races would sometimes border to almost being a brawl. By the end, there would be bruises and welts, maybe a bloody nose, and on rare occasions, a concussion.
"Ow! You little-!" Their older sister shouted as she fell off the bed. She hadn't been awake for more than a second and the three were already scrambling out of the bed to begin their daily combat.
Lucius was the first to make his move. He kicked his legs against the wall, knocking him into Sophia. In turn, this knocked their elder sibling off the bed with a thud. Lucius would then try to scramble out the bed and get the lead. Sophia would be the one to prevent that when she yanked the blanket. Doing so caused Lucius to slip forward and fall over the foot of the bed. He landed face first in a scorpion position.
Before their older sister could get up, Sophia hopped off the bed. As her sister tried to recover, Sophia used her back as a footstool as she stepped over her and made a beeline for the door. Sophia's sister would grab her ankle before she was out of reach. The blue-haired girl faceplanted and her sister stepped over her as she raced for the door. Right as she opened the door, Lucius sprang up from behind and checked her into the wall. He would then turn the corner with Sophia in pursuit. As Sophia exited the room, she also got a check in on her sister as she bounced off the wall, briefly disoriented.
Lucius would quickly catch up to Sophia. As their brother sprinted down the hall toward Sophia. However, due to how fast he was running, Lucius accidentally tackled her to the ground. This gave the oldest sister a window of opportunity. As she raced up to the door, Sophia kicked Lucius to the side as he tried to get up. Normally in situations like this, Lucius would wait for his sister to open the door. Once that happened, he'd squirm between their legs and get the bathroom first. But now that he was older, that wouldn't work. So as a last-ditch effort, he waited for them to wrestle for the knob and turn it. The moment that happened, Lucius took his opening and dove over his sisters' shoulders. The three came tumbling down in a pile with Lucius managing to land in the bathroom, making him the winner of the day's scuffle.
"Ha!" Lucius celebrated. "I won! I got the bath... room...-"
Lucius abruptly cut his celebration as he turned to face the room. His voice quickly shrunk as he almost choked on his last word. He froze in place. Once his sisters recovered, they also saw what froze him. The feeling in the air went from that of adrenaline-filled competition to a frozen dread weighing down on them.
Before them, was their mother. Her skin was pale. She laid there in the bathtub, completely limp, her head slumped toward them, and one of her arms draped over the edge. Her wrist had a deep gash in it. Dried blood was streamed down her palm, which held a bloody knife. A few small drops below her fingertips dotted the tile floor. Her other wrist was presumably slit as well considering the reddish hue of the water. Though she looked on at them, there was nothing behind her eyes. They were soulless. Dead.
"M-mom...?" Lucius muttered.
His voice alone was enough to snap the sisters out of their frozen states. Sophia would quickly cover Lucius's eyes and usher him out of the room. Meanwhile, their older sister had sprinted and practically leapt down the stair. She screamed at their father to call the emergency number as she could barely contain herself.
Though Sophia only saw for a couple seconds, she would never forget the look in her deceased mother's face. It was the same expression she wore throughout the days leading up to her suicide. It was the same face she wore ever since the words their father said to her. It was as if she died long before her heart stopped beating and her blood bled dry- before she even got into the tub and did it. In the eyes of the siblings, their father's words were what really killed their mother. The knife simply killed her body.
For the rest of the day, Lucius and Sophia sat in their room in silence. They couldn't even process what they saw. Meanwhile, the noise outside their room depicted nothing short of hectic chaos. For a while, the siblings felt extreme frustration. In their minds, they had gone through so much to help save their mother's life. Their sister worked along with her father. Lucius scrounged for what little he could get. Sophia had to resort to petty theft and pickpocketing resulting in her receiving multiple beatings for it and managed to get help from a third party. They celebrated her being cured of her ailment. And all of it was undone in an instant just one month later. Pushed to suicide due to their fighting getting out of hand. They knew that their father's words in particular were what pushed her to it. And for that, they all resented him, especially their older sister. They never forgave him.
. . .
On top of that, their father never forgave himself either. He was being devoured by guilt and regret. He would go back to working late hours; however, this time it was mainly to be out of the house and not have to face his kids. He wanted to forget and work helped distract him. At home, he would barely acknowledge his own children. If they tried to talk to him, he'd simply ignore them. If they were in the same room as him, he'd get up and move to a different room. And on the odd chance he did acknowledge them, he never once looked them in the eyes. To their father, he only saw their mother in his children. They were a constant reminder of her and the things he said. It ate him alive. He wanted to avoid them as much as possible.
For a long time, their older sister was bottling up a considerable amount of stress and pent-up anger. She always wanted to come off as the strong and reliable big sister. The one who could also be reassuring and comforting along with her strong exterior. She hated being seen vulnerable. Anytime Lucius and Sophia would ever see her upset or rattled was a always an incredibly rare occurrence. When their parents fought, she was always the one to put on a calm face and kept them distracted. Even when her siblings were robbed that one time, as furious as she was enough to track down and knock the man out and take the money back, she still maintained her demeanor. Even when their mother was sick, she always did her best to hide her stress. She had an image she wanted to maintain around them. She'd also always refuse the offer to talk about it due to not wanting to crack in front of them if she spoke a word. But in this case, she was struggling. And her siblings knew she was about to blow and there was no stopping or preventing it.
It wouldn't be until the following year that their sister finally exploded. The initial outburst was enough to wake up Lucius and Sophia. Sophia did not remember the full details, but she could recall her bringing up how their father kept avoiding him. In addition, she remembered most of all the final scathing words of her sister's outburst echoing through her head:
"You killed our mother! You killed my mom! And I hope that weight cripples you! I hope it breaks your fucking back!"
They were left speechless in their room as they heard their sister storming up the stairs. The moment the door flew open, her face went from sheer anger- an anger they had never seen on their sister's face before- to embarrassment.
"O-oh.." Their sister stammered as she wiped tears from her cheeks. "Sorry. I-I didn't know you were awake. Did... did you-?"
"We heard the whole thing." Sophia interrupted her.
"Oh... I'm... I'm really sorry. I... I didn't want you to see me like this-"
"Don't be." Lucius sat up in the bed.
"No." Their sister rejected. "I'm supposed to be the strong big sister. I'm supposed to be the one you can look to when things are bleak. The one who keeps her composure and doesn't get rattled. And here I am sobbing like a child..."
She sadly laughed at herself.
"Do... you want to talk, L-?" Sophia asked.
"No, I'm fine. Sophia." She turned down her younger sister's offer as she interrupted her.
"No, you're not fine!" Sophia protested. "Please just let us-"
"I said no!" Her sister raised her voice slightly. She put emphasis in her voice, as she shot down her offer again.
They'd try a few more times. Eventually, they would give up as she urged them to sleep. As a means of giving her a kind gesture, the siblings left the spot against the wall open for their older sister so she wouldn't have to sleep on the edge of the bed and fall off.
The next day, on the 13th of September, the anniversary of their mother's suicide, Lucius and Sophia woke up to the sound of distress downstairs. When they investigated the noise, they saw their sister on the floor. She was sobbing uncontrollably, completely broken down. They tried to ask her what had happened, but all she would answer with was:
"The bastard left..."
"What do you mean?" Sophia would respond as she put her arms around her sister's shoulders.
"The bastard l-left..."
"You already said that." Sophia then noticed her sister clutching something small and white in her hand with some lien poking out. "What's that?"
"Sophia..." Lucius calls to her sister.
"What is it?" She turns her head to her brother.
"Dad's stuff is gone..."
"Wha- What do you mean it's gone!?" Sophia was confused as she furrowed her brow.
"It's all gone. His clothes, his stuff, his bags. All of it. It's all gone."
"Please tell me we got robbed?" Sophia pleaded.
"And they only took just dad's stuff? I doubt it. It's just his stuff that's gone." Lucius answered with a saddened voice.
Once hearing that, Sophia was hit with a realization. Their father had left them to fend for themselves. His guilt consumed him to the point he wanted to completely separate himself. He decided he would leave his children and his home and disappear for good. Before he left, he placed an envelope with lien inside for them to live off of for a bit. They never found out where he went or what happened to him. But they didn't care either. After this, to the siblings, wherever he was, he was no longer family. He may as well have died that day too.
For the sake of her sister's mental health, Sophia decided to call her job. She would tell them her sister was sick and would not make that day. Her sister was initially annoyed, but changed her tune late in the day and thanked Sophia for her gesture.
From this point on, it would just be the three siblings to fend for themselves. They were 14, 16, and 19 each. Their older sister was the only one who could legally provide for the family with a job.
To provide for the family and for the house, practically all the weight fell on their older sister. Because of this, she started working longer hours. She always came home every night at 9 p.m.. Due to working longer hours, their sister would always leave with a pocket of sand and a knife. She never had to use the knife. But she did end up having to throw her sand in someone's eyes on at least three separate occasions. Meanwhile, Sophia and her brother would go back to scrounging for money. Sophia would also return to her pickpocketing. Ironically, the siblings spent so much time trying to make money to take care of themselves and hold onto their house, they spent more time outside of their home than in it.
. . .
A week later, Sophia would also reach out to Marcus:
"Marcus! You here?" Sophia called as she entered the tavern they first met at.
This place would become a regular meeting spot between the two. She'd always meet him here and play darts and occasionally share a meal and have talks. Marcus was always great at keeping Sophia distracted and getting her mind off things. When her mother died, Sophia would see Marcus very regularly. He didn't learn right away of what happened, but Sophia would eventually tell him. Since then, Sophia would see Marcus almost all the time outside of her scrounging and pickpocketing hours. It was almost therapeutic for Sophia. Marcus was like the one escape she had in her life to just forget and unwind.
"Why do you always ask that?" Marcus responded as he stepped out so she could see him. "I'm always here."
"Yeah, I know. But it's not like you're here 24/7 or whatever."
"Okay good point." Marcus retracted his statement.
"Plus, you're so tiny, it's easy to miss you~" She added as she teased him.
"Shut up! I'm not that short." Marcus' cheeks burn.
"But I can't help it. You're like a tiny, cute, little puppy I can't help but just pet and...~" She reached out to pat his head.
Marcus responded by snapping at her finger. Sophia quickly pulled it away as his teeth clack together.
"Yeesh! Gonna have to be quicker than that~"
"Do you do this with Lucius, too?" Marcus asked her with an annoyed voice.
"About all the time."
"That poor soul..." He shook his head.
"Thank the gods you didn't take our offer then, huh?" The girl joked.
"Thank the gods, indeed. So what do you want?"
"Right, that. I actually want to talk to you about something... privately if that's okay."
"Uh... yeah, sure." Marcus' demeanor changed slightly. He noticed Sophia was looking urgent.
Marcus would follow his friend to a more quiet spot. Sophia told him everything.
"Wow..." Marcus was left almost speechless. "Just up and left?"
"Yeah..." Sophia confirmed. "Things are... well... I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It's shit right now. It's a giant, steaming pile of shit."
"It seems that way... If you want, I can earn some money to help you guys out." He offered.
"Wait, really?" Sophia was surprised.
"Yeah, of course!" He confirmed. "You're my friends after all."
"Well that saves me the trouble." Sophia chuckled. "I was actually about to ask you that."
"Really?" Marcus then took his turn to stifle a laugh. "I'm surprised you even thought you had to ask. It's not like we haven't been through this before."
"True that." Sophia agrees as she sips her tea.
"Anyway, yeah. You can rest assured I'll help you out. I'll even start tonight once I earn myself something to settle me through the night first."
"Well... alright! Thanks again, Marcus!" Sophia pulled him into a vice-like constricting hug.
"Do you always have to hug me like you're trying to break my back?" The boy said annoyed as she finally let go.
"Sorry." Sophia chuckled. "I do that with Lucius a lot, too. I guess it's a habit."
"Well you better break that habit before you break one of us."
"Nope! I will live with the regret~" Sophia joked. Marcus rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I should head back home now."
"Wait, don't go yet!" Marcus called out to her as she turned. "You just got here. Let's play some darts. Please?"
"Oh, I don't know, Marcus. They don't like me being out too long after dark and it's almost 7:00."
"Come on. Pleeaase? Just one game." The boy pleaded with her.
"Sorry, Marcus. Not tonight. Look, I'll make it up to you. If you let me go tonight, I'll play two games of darts with you tomorrow to make up for it. How does that sound?"
The boy thought for a few seconds. Eventually, he would give his answer.
"Hmmm... Fine." Marcus told her. "But I better see you here tomorrow. Okay?"
"You will." She put her hand on his shoulder. "I promise I'll be here. And when I get here, we'll play some darts. Alright?"
"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, Sophia." Marcus waved as she started to walk off. "Oh, and tell them I'm thinking about them!"
"Alright. I'll make sure to do that." Sophia promised him before leaving out the door and headed home.
. . .
The next day, Sophia would return to the same tavern.
"Marcuuuus~" She called out. "Where are you? I'm here as promised."
Normally, he would come from wherever he was and make his presence known to Sophia. But Marcus wasn't anywhere to be seen.
"Marcus? Yoo-hoo? Marcus, where 're you hiding?" She looked around, but couldn't find him anywhere.
"Hey, owner guy." Sophia called out to a silvering-haired man cleaning a glass. She hopped up on a bar stool. "Have you seen a boy around here? You know, has hair that you can't tell is either black with a white undertone or white with a black undertone? Somehow is both pretty well-dressed and raggedy at the same time in clothes that are clearly too big for him? People call him the 'Marksman'? You know who I'm talking about? Are you even listening?"
"Your friend's not here anymore." The owner finally answered her. He had a regretful tone.
Sophia slightly hesitated with her response. She as confused by the man's words.
"...What are you talking about? He's always here. He told me himself."
"Some guy came in last night saying he was looking for the 'Marksman'." He put down his glass. "The boy answered and the guy laughed his ass off when he saw that the guy he was looking for was just a kid. Apparently he was looking to make a name for himself and challenged him to a game of darts. Guy was cocky and talking a lot of shit. And the boy embarrassed him. Beat him bad. Turns out that man the kid beat and embarrassed was the leader of a gang. If that boys' not here now, he's not coming here ever again."
When Sophia heard that, her mind was a vortex.
"What...? B-but he... No... No, he can't be gone. He's always here. He'll come back! I know he will!"
"Kid, I've seen that boy in here every single day for the past year or two. If the one day he doesn't show up here happens to follow the night he punked out a gang leader in a game of darts, I think it's safe to say he won't be joining us anymore."
"But... but he said he...-! I made a promise to him!" She sounded upset. Sophia's tone almost conveyed that she was about to have an outburst in the middle of the tavern.
"Hon, that boy's not comin' back..." He leaned over the counter. He looked her in the eye as he said it. Sophia was quickly deflated. She didn't even have the strength to be angry.
"...Oh... well... thanks, I guess..." She said with a defeated voice.
Sophia swallowed the growing lump in her throat. Sophia's mind was in such disarray, she didn't even know what to focus on. Should she focus on the fact she lost one of her family's main providers? Or that she lost another person in her life? Or maybe the fact she lost a close friend? Or that she lost her only escape- the only one who could help her forget an unwind? It was all sudden and without warning.
"Do you want any food or drink or-" The man spoke up, interrupting Sophia's silence.
"No." Sophia interrupted the tavern-owner's offer. "No. What I want's not here."
With that, Sophia hopped off her stool and sped to the door. The moment she grabbed the cold, metal knob, she just wanted to unleash her frustration and fling the door open with all her might. But instead, all she did was weakly open it and head home as it gently closed behind her.
**Chapter End**
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Hey, everyone!
I believe we only have about three or four parts left of this backstory. I told you it was a big one.
Anyway, I've been cutting down the mega chapter into pieces, so I'm still trying to determine how many sections it will be. The next chapter will be about the start of Sophia's turning point into who she is currently. Then we will dive into some of the gangs of Mistral and some of Mistral's policies. And then we will look at how Sophia ended up with Raven's tribe. So we still have quite a bit more to learn about and explore with Sophia in the Mistral slums. At the end of the day, one of the main purposes of this is that it is all meant to set the stage for an arc later in the future that will heavily involve Ragora and Lycan. But that won't be until waaay in the future.
But back to Sophia, it's all downhill from here for her in this backstory. When Sophia lost Marcus, she basically lost the one person who got her mind off things and kept her distracted. And losing him was another big blow that basically just killed Sophia's spirit. So at this point, she has no escape anymore and is not in a very good state mentally or emotionally. Sophia is desperate, and she's willing to do anything and everything to get out of her situation along with the rest of her siblings. At the end of the day, she just wants everything to be okay for them and have some security and assurance for herself and her siblings. So the next few chapters are only going to get heavier. So get brace yourself for that.
As for the next chapter, I'm currently revising it. I hope to have it out relatively soon.
Anyway, here's the next fun fact.
Fun fact #21: I was originally going to have the entire thing that Sophia and Lucius' sister said to their father, but I decided to just trim it down to what she said at the end at the last second. The entire thing was going to be very scathing as she called him out for trying to avoid his own children and not even so much as acknowledge them.