The Westminster chimes signalling the end of the day couldn't have come sooner enough for Houjou. Throughout Monday morning, every task that she executed went horribly wrong. First, she overslept her alarm by fifteen minutes. Then, she spilled her morning coffee all over the kitchen countertop. Making matters worse was the fact she almost walked out of her home with her skirt on backwards. With all the rotten luck she got, she had to sprint her way to school just to make homeroom on time. She was fortunate enough to get to the classroom moments before the Westminster Bells chimed to start the school day.
With the disastrous morning she had, all she wanted was for her luck to improve in her afternoon classes. All hope of that dissolved into thin air when she slipped on a water puddle and landed bottom-first on the floor. Her classmates were apathetic enough to not laugh and tease. If it wasn't a slip of her foot, a goof-up in the middle of class would do her in. In Tanabe-Sensei's English class, she provided the correct answer. For the wrong question. The sounds of her snickering classmates pestered her for the rest of the period.
When the Westminster bells rang, Houjou sneaked away, keeping her head down so as to not arouse any more attention towards herself. She traversed through the hallways, keeping a frenetic pace to get herself to the getabako as fast as she could. Along the way, she came across Hamaguchi stepping out from one of the classrooms. Unlike her previous encounters the past week, her chest released a throb that seemed to nudge her towards him.
Come on Houjou, you need to help him understand. You can't keep running away from him like this.
Listening to her fluttering heart was the last thing she wanted to do. With the growing crowds of students leaving the classrooms, Houjou patted her chest and sneaked past the ruffle-haired boy. As she shushed her throbbing chest, an unfamiliar, weighty feeling began to tug on her legs. It was as if she had a ball and chain cuffed around her ankles despite only her white socks covering them. Her breathing grew heavier with each successive step, the weight holding fast to her ankles. Where is this feeling coming from? She grimaced as she looked down and continued her walk.
But it wasn't the first time Houjou felt this weight dragging her feet. In fact, she could have sworn she felt this same weight the day before. During a stroll around her neighbourhood, she stumbled upon Hamaguchi crossing through an intersection. Catching a glance of the partly hunched boy caused her ankles to tighten and her steps to grow sluggish.
Why does Hamaguchi keep making me feel so guilty? Ugh, even after keeping him away, I'm still nowhere near being the mature girl I should be. In fact, ever since I pushed him aside, I've been having even more trouble composing myself. Worse yet, I've been thinking more about him since I gave him the silent treatment!
Once at the bottom of the stairs, Houjou released a disgruntled sigh. Each footstep brought her closer to the getabako and to her ticket out of school. Eager to compose herself, she started her deep breathing exercises with each step. With each breath came a thought serving as her mantra to keep her emotions at bay.
It's going to be okay. I just need to go home after school and take a rest. It's only a few days until the end of the school year. I can start afresh soon.
As much as she tried to still her pestering heart, her walk home from school wasn't much better. Although she didn't experience any more mishaps, the weight grew heavier, as if a ball and chain were cuffed on her ankles. On top of that, her heart pressed down against her, as if a hydraulic press was trying its hardest to squish her soul.
Even with the heaviness slowing her down, she made it to her apartment suite. There, Houjou peered through the mail slot at the bottom of her front door. She would usually find a set of advertisements and junk mail on the other side, but few such letters were to be found. Instead, she found a stack of bills sealed in envelopes for her parents to bemoan over. The red lettering showing through the clear plastic of the envelopes didn't seem like good news. The bolded red numbers only made her sigh all the more.
Just as she finished her exhale, her school bag began to vibrate. The sounds of sparkling, high-pitched tingles sprung alongside the vibration. The mix of tones caused Houjou's head to perk up. Oh, why now? Who could be calling this time? Rolling her eyes, she turned away from the door and towards her school bag. She then opened her school bag and retrieved her ringing red Aquos Crystal smartphone.
Tenkawa-san? How did she get my number? Houjou frowned, staring down at her phone. At least it's not a robocall. With a sigh, she swiped on the green phone icon and lifted her phone to her right ear.
"Hello?"
"Oh, Houjou-san! I'm delighted to hear from you!" Yukari's voice blared through her speakers. From her voice, Houjou drew a lightbulb of remembrance.
Oh yeah. Tenkawa-san wanted me to see if Takagi-chan and Nishikata-san were kissing. In our classroom of all places too. She really is quite childish.
Recalling Yukari gush about her juvenile views on love left Houjou smirking. Now that Yukari was on the line, it was time for her to bounce back and show off her poise. Readjusting her school tie and her shoulder sleeve, she released a scoff from her lips. "Of course you are, Tenkawa-san. Now, what is it you want from me?"
As soon as the words left her mouth, her mind shifted gears. Instead of sulking about the pressure on her ankles, she rehearsed the responses that she loved to prepare in her free time. Whether it was a question about herself or a comment on her beauty, she knew how to keep herself collected without revealing her secrets.
But the response she received was far from what she expected. Worse yet, it wasn't Yukari who replied from the other side. Instead, it was a cheery Mina who shouted, "Houjou-san! Do you like camping? We're going camping this Saturday when the school year ends! We were hoping you'd come with us, Houjou-san!"
Camping. Of all the things they had to ask about, why did it have to be that? The lone word caused shivers to tingle up her spine and her right arm to shudder. She clutched her hand against her red cell phone as tight as she could. With her mouth agape, only the sounds of rapid breathing escaped her lips.
"You know, Houjou-san. It's fine if you don't come. But we just called to invite you, ya know?" Sanae added with her monotone voice.
As considerate as Sanae's clarification was, Houjou found herself still unable to form a word with her lips. Why can't I think of anything to say? Talking with these girls shouldn't be this hard! She bowed her head towards the floor and massaged her temples. She had to push back soon, lest her callers pester her about their camping trip.
"And why would I want to go camping?" Houjou scowled. Her fingers continued to massage her temples.
Static-filled silence permeated their conversation, sprinkled with the occasional whisper from the three girls. She finally had a moment to catch her breath. Phew, that was a close call.
After slowing her trembling arms and catching her breath, she released an uncomfortable chuckle. As she tried to make sense of their hushed response, she could hear the sounds of Yukari's voice filling in for the static. She couldn't tell what they were saying, but her grunts were enough for Houjou to sense an impending frustration. As much as she wanted to hang up the phone, hanging up on the class representative too abruptly would sully her reputation. For now, she grit her teeth hoping that the conversation wouldn't last too much longer.
After the background chatter died down, Mina's voice returned to Houjou's speakers. "We just noticed how lonely you've been recently. We thought that maybe we could cheer you up!" she blurted through Houjou's phone speaker.
"What Sanae and Mina are trying to say is that we just want to help you feel better," Yukari's chimed.
Wait, how did they know I'm behaving differently? Aside from Mano-san, everyone else has treated me the same as usual. Houjou covered her eyes with her left hand and massaged her temples. With a groan, she placed her forehead against the door to her apartment suite and rubbed her head sideways. How is going camping an idea of feeling better? I hate camping.
She hung her head lower against the door and frowned. "Thank you for inviting me, but I really don't want to go," Houjou replied with a sigh. "All I want to do right now is head into my apartment and rest. Please excuse me."
And with that, Houjou pressed the red button on her phone screen and hung up. She placed her phone back inside her school bag and retrieved the keys to her home. At least that's over, she sighed to herself as she opened the door to her apartment suite.
Upon opening the door to the apartment, Houjou observed the living room brightened by the light shining through the balcony windows. In contrast, the hallway in front of her was hard to see given its dimmed appearance. She turned to her right and flicked the switch. The lamp hoisted on the wall lit up, illuminating the area in front of her. In doing so, she caught sight of a small black card sticking out among the stacks of envelopes lying on the carpet floor. Piquing her curiosity, she picked up the card with narrowed eyes.
It wasn't a card she had seen before. Amid a black background, the card was filled with white, spritely dots that dotted the upper right edge. Towards the left side of the card were a series of letters written in a starry gold font. The golden letters formed words that told of an upcoming event.
The Shodoshima Island Annual Star Gazing Event happens this Saturday at 10:00 pm! Get lost in the cosmos and find beauty in the starlight above!
Houjou rolled her eyes. The tawdry phrasing and clashing coloured fonts were enough to make her skin crawl. Worse yet, most of the constellations were displayed in the wrong locations. Worst of all, the North Star wasn't at the peak of the Little Dipper like it was supposed to be. Seeing the starry massacre on display caused her blood to boil.
Houjou paced into her living room with the card in hand. She set her bag down by a wall. The loud thud her bag made mirrored her disgust with the card. Ugh, I can't believe people don't know where the North Star is! If you want to advertise a stargazing event, take the time to put the stars in the right places! And never use a 3D yellow font against a black background!
Inside the living room, Houjou paced around to form a large circle. After walking a lap around the living room, an image of a crackling bonfire and dancing students flashed before her. Houjou let out a frightened gasp, froze in place, and squeezed her folded arms against her chest.
Houjou's breath quickened. Images of a forested destination enveloped her mind. With each intake of air each flash of a memory developed like a polaroid clarifying an image. The last flash she remembered was her staring up at the stars above.
A growing dizziness fell upon her. It began with a pulsing sensation from the top of her head. The lingering throbs forced her to take a seat at the closest place she could find: a light grey sofa situated to her left. With her head pounding on her, she lowered herself to the floor and crawled onto the couch.
The lone pillow on the couch served as a haven for her afflicted head. She laid face down onto the soft, round pillow. The pillow felt firm, yet cushy for her weary head, enabling her to loosen her muscles and release a relieved breath. The consolation was brief, however. Moments after setting her head down, her eyelids grew heavy.
Could this day get any worse? I just want to have a day where I don't have to deal with all this nonsense, Houjou groaned, slumping her hands against the couch. As much as she wanted to grunt and protest, the pulsations from her head and her heavy eyes wouldn't let her have her way.
As her eyes grew shut, sleep came over her, as if an angel brought forth a warm, peaceful, blanket of quiet comfort. A voice sounding like a higher-pitched version of herself sung a soft lullaby in her head.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head. Hush now, quiet now, it's time to take a nap. You've had a tough day, and you deserve a good afternoon rest. Take a break and let your mind wander off to sleep.
Following her voice's call, Houjou massaged her head. Her breathing slowed to a gentle tempo. With her headache lingering on, her soft breathing became tinged with soft, muted groans. Soon, she found herself falling into a deep sleep.
Heavy breathing resounded through Houjou's lungs like a chugging locomotive train. Her eyes shut tight as she stood amid a dense forest. Even so, the sun's rays pierced through the dense foliage and shone straight at her tired pupils. Placing her hand over her forehead shielded her somewhat from the sunlight, but the light's beams continued to shimmer on her face.
With her eyes struggling to stay open, Houjou put all her energy into walking through the long stretches of forest along Ichiyaki Mori Camp Trail. She knew her hike would last hours, so she packed as many necessities as she could. Her preparations backfired as the weight of her knapsack numbed her shoulders with each successive step. Her blistered, aching feet felt like they were giving way to the pressure. The pressure of walking through the long expanse of trails, hills, and streams that lined the forest.
Still in the middle of the forest, Houjou finally found a small patch of shade enough to fit her physique. She halted in the middle of the shade and crouched with her hands on her kneecaps to catch her breath. After slowing her breathing and recovering her breath, she looked up toward the expanse of forest in front of her.
Her opened lips released a frustrated groan. Her classmates had disappeared into the forested horizon. Sweat was already dripping from her forehead and along her back. The sun beating down from above only increased her temperature further. Even as her knapsack cuffed her shoulders down, she wiped more sweat off her face with her shirt sleeve.
Where is everyone? No, I can't get lost! That would be so childish of me!
With a feverish pace, Houjou took off along the soily path. Clouds of dark brown dirt sprung behind her as she sprinted across the trail towards her schoolmates. With each step, her legs and chest held on for dear life and begged her to return to a walking pace. Even with their cries, Houjou continued to sprint with her knapsack in tow.
As Houjou maintained her springs with each step, she saw the forest making way for an open, grassy field. Even with the sun blazing its hot rays onto the fields, her eyes widened with relief. She found her class located near a rippling stream. After a few more minutes of sprinting, she arrived at the stream.
A small part of her hoped that her hiking companions would notice the effort she put in to catch up. However, all she received from them were disgruntled groans. "Finally, you caught up, Houjou-san! We were wondering how much longer you'd hold us back!" her two classmates scoffed with crossed arms.
Houjou would have lashed back with scathing words of her own. If it wasn't for her being so out of breath, that is. Her growing need to quench her thirst compounded the throbbing pain she felt on her shoulders from carrying her knapsack for so long.
Without a second thought, she dropped her knapsack onto the ground. She unzipped her bag and placed her hands into it. She scoured its contents for her water bottle.
But there was just one problem: her water bottle wasn't there. Wait, I thought I packed my water bottle here this morning. Where is it?
"Houjou-san, what's taking you so long? We've got to keep going if we're going to get back to our campsite on time!" Her classmates moaned.
Her frenzied search for water had to come to a close; she couldn't keep them waiting any longer. Her parched tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, begging for relief from the immense heat. The sounds of gentle, trickling water from the stream invited her to have a taste. The sun's ray reflecting off the water gave it a cool, glistening tint that left Houjou tempted to drink from the stream in front of her.
But the words of her teacher sounding in her mind quelled any notion of that. "Don't drink directly from any stream! They're not safe to drink!"
Ugh! I should have bought a water bottle! Houjou groaned, sticking out her tongue. If only she could have any droplet of water fall onto her dry tongue! I hate camping and hiking for this very reason!
After trekking the mountains and forest for nearly three hours, Houjou couldn't help but release a long sigh of relief. She could see the campsite emerging from the horizon. Her legs and her clothes were covered with dirt and her hair became matted from a bout of rain. Not even taking shelter underneath a rock formation with her classmates could prevent the rain from soaking her hair. At this stage, she didn't care that they had to sleep in tents or dwell near farm animals. She was just glad to get some rest.
Houjou took her seat on a wooden bench surrounded by other benches arranged in a five by five square formation. She didn't mind that her bottom felt the bumpy outlines of coarse wood. The tightening pangs on her legs and shoulders were enough for her to be content with any place to sit. She brushed some dirt off of her legs before she sat back on the bench and closed her eyes. The wind rustling in the trees and the distant lowing of cattle seemed to lull her to sleep.
"Houjou!"
A loud deep voice called out to her, accompanied by the sounds of a ringing golden bell. Houjou awoke with a yelp and jumped up in her seat.
"Stop dawdling around and find a partner from your class! It's time for all the girls to prepare curry dinners for everyone!" Tanabe-sensei shouted a few feet away from across the field.
We're cooking right now?! Seriously?! We just got here! Houjou whimpered as she continued to massage her back with her hand. And why shouldn't the guys help with cooking either? She released a furious huff. There was little she could do. Whether she liked it or not, it was time for her to cook with the rest of the girls.
She walked towards the cooking tents where the rest of the girls in her grade migrated. Once at the cooking tents, she picked up a bandana on her cooking table and tied it around her head. She then grabbed an apron and tied it around her waist. She stared at her dirty fingernails with darkened eyes and a rigid stance. Eww, look at how disgusting my hands are from today. Lamenting her dishevelled appearance, she began scraping the dirt out of her fingernails. "I'm so bad at preparing meals for everyone else. How am I going to make food for everyone when I'm too tired to even make rice?" she reflected with a morose sigh.
Her nerves perked forward, however, when someone tapped her on the shoulder from behind. With a yelp and a jump, she turned around to see who had tapped her shoulder. A short, brown-haired girl staring at her then entered her view. She was fidgeting with some type of bandage under her sleeve.
"I guess we're partners huh?" the girl spoke with a timid pitch. It was obvious to Houjou that she was intimidated. The girl was twiddling her thumbs and her amber eyes were avoiding Houjou's gaze with all their might.
"I guess so," Houjou scoffed. Seeing that all the other girls already had a partner, she resigned herself to joining forces with the girl. Well, since she's so timid I may as well try to lead the both of us to try and assemble something edible. Houjou tied her unkempt hair into a bun, being careful to keep her lone braid intact. She next walked over to a nearby sink and rinsed her hands with soap and water.
"Okay, so why don't you get started on chopping the vegetables while I start on measuring the rice and water? Are you good with knives?" Houjou asked with an abrupt tone. She put her hands on her hips and pushed her chest outward. If she sees my brevity and confidence, she'll surely follow my lead.
The girl fumbled with her right sleeve and suddenly raised her voice. "I'm sorry Houjou-san, but I can't make curry at all today. You see, I broke my arm while doing track and field last week and I can't chop anything with my left hand," the girl sputtered, rubbing the back of her head.
"So you can't chop anything at all?" Houjou queried with a raised voice. Pointing at the girl's white cast, she continued asking with a stammer, "Not even some small carrots?" Hoping to convince her to take some initiative, she grabbed some smaller, pre-peeled carrots from the table beside her and handed them to the girl.
"I really can't Houjou-san. Tanabe-Sensei gave me a health slip and asked that I take on rice duty for us. So you'll have to make curry." The girl's stutters trailed off with her last few words. She clasped her hand on the workstation in front of them.
Could this day get any worse? Houjou asked herself. She tilted her head and scrunched her cheeks. The monstrosity of a curry she'd have to assemble grew large in her thoughts. "Fine." Houjou stated tersely, massaging her head with her right hand.
"I'll try to make it up to you Houjou-san! I promise!" the girl nodded with a wide grin as she dragged the heavy bag of rice with her free hand to the table. Her giddy demeanour did little to push back the task that loomed for Houjou, nonetheless. She shuffled her feet and turned her gaze toward the stack of leeks, carrots and potatoes to her right. As much as she felt faint and weary, it was time to get cooking.
Cooking in the middle of the campground wasn't the same as cooking from home. The most obvious difference for Houjou was how difficult it was with the scorching heat outside. She detested cooking, even from home, but at least she had air conditioning to keep her cool. With the hot air imposing itself onto the campground, her skin released droplets of sweat that further soaked her clothes. I've already felt dirty enough going on a trek. Why did it have to get even hotter? I just want to take a shower, she moaned to herself as she brought the carrots onto the cutting board.
But with dinner fast approaching, Houjou knew there was no time to take a breather. In the middle of the heat, she began dicing up the carrots into thin slices. During her dicing attempt, Houjou nearly slid the knife toward her finger. She gasped and instinctually retracted her left hand away from the wooden cutting board. "I almost cut myself just then! I guess I'll have to make bigger pieces to avoid cutting myself," she sighed, rubbing her tingling hands. Her carrots turned out to be chunks twice the size of everyone else's curry. It wasn't a fact that escaped Houjou, but she shrugged it off. Safety was more important, anyway.
Next, she grabbed the potatoes to her left onto the cutting board. Her palms were sweating and aching after chopping so many carrots, but she had to trudge on with the recipe. After a slow attempt to chop some pieces of potato, she swept the sweat off her forehead with her arms and grinned. It looks like my curry will be the most filling of the lot! After all, bigger pieces mean bigger flavour!
"Houjou-san!"
The same timid voice cried out again, to which Houjou quickly recognized it as her partner's voice. Her grin turned into a horrified gasp. She covered her mouth with her hands, realizing why her partner was calling her.
Oh no! The onions!
Houjou quickly turned off the dial to the gas stove burner heating her wok. She looked inside the wok and saw nothing but blackened charred remains of what were once chopped onions.
"Sorry for not telling you sooner Houjou-san, I thought you were watching it." The girl replied while stirring the rice in the rice cooker.
"It's fine. I'll just have to start over," Houjou sighed, rubbing her forehead and taking the wok off of the stove to let it cool.
With only twelve minutes to spare before dinner, Houjou raced to finish everything in the time she had left. She threw the hastily chopped vegetables into a simmering pan of oil to char them. She also added hot water to the pan to help them cook faster. Next, she had the sauce prepared using curry powder, chicken stock, flour and soy sauce in a metal pot and ignited the gas under it.
Time refused to be an ally. She felt like a contestant on Iron Chef, struggling to finish her curry recipe against the clock. After an exhausting few minutes of running around and preparing the food, Tanabe-Sensei's voice roared forth once more. "Get your meals done now! It's five minutes before everyone else starts coming in for dinner!"
Houjou wiped the sweat off of her brow with a dish cloth and stared at her meal. While the meal itself looked surprisingly edible at first glance, her vegetables were barely cooked. The curry sauce was so thin that it may as well have been water. Worse still, her curry smelled like burnt flour.
Houjou scoffed with a loud humph. She dared not to taste her own curry. It was too embarrassing for her to taste her own cooking. But then a turning feeling in her stomach made her wince. Her fellow students would be the judges of her chaotic curry concoction! Houjou scoured the premises and waited until everyone cleaned up their stations before walking over to the picnic tables.
She plastered her hands against her face with an internal screech. No one will think of me as popular if they find out about my curry. More importantly, what will Hamaguchi think?! Her question was left unanswered as she rested her head on the picnic table. Her stomach began to churn as she cringed at her smelly, watery curry as she headed back towards her bench.
She was among the first students to sit on a bench after finishing her cooking task. Although dinner was the next item on the trip's itinerary, it wasn't the thing she anticipated most at the moment. Being able to take a seat and not do anything was solace enough for her tired, aching muscles.
With the little energy she had left, she looked around from where she sat. A few students had already taken their seats for dinner, including the girl sitting beside her. With her hands placed on the wooden table, she glanced through the students walking towards the campground. Her eyes were set on one person alone. Not that she would admit it to anyone, however. Despite her fatigue, she had her ways of not betraying her thoughts. Most of the time.
Among the figures walking towards her was a scruffy, brown-haired boy. Seeing his frame caused Houjou's eyes to pop open. A wave of heart throbs passed through her chest as her eyes remained glued on his face. She leaned forward and let out a sigh with a growing smile on her face. Even after today's disaster, so long as he likes my curry, I'll be happy. She gently squeezed her hand against the palm of her right hand. She then felt her left hand tingle, as if it had a spring placed underneath her palm. She longed to give a wave to her childhood friend.
But there were parts of her that held her back. A part of her dictated that she had to be composed as much as possible. Giving her heart away in such a flippant manner went against everything she learned about being couldn't express her true self so easily. What if there were people who saw what she was doing? What if they preyed on her weakness and taunted her for all her days? What if Hamaguchi shrugged at her feelings with apathy? No, she perished the thought.
The other part of her cried out from her heart. All she had was one request: for him to notice everything she did for him. She was so tired from cooking and walking all day that she felt like taking a nap right at the picnic table. Meanwhile, he was lucky enough to play some campground games with the rest of the boys after they prepared the wood for the campfire. Houjou stared at her dirt stained shorts and bruised knees. She was so tired of having to put in all the effort for him. He gets it off so easy; is it even worth it at this point?
Amid her pining, Hamaguchi took his seat from the table behind hers without even so much of a nod. The mere thought of him ignoring her caused her to frown with her eyes pinched. She then put her head down on the wooden table and scratched the surface of the table with her fingernails. See, he's such an idiot. He didn't notice me even when he walked past me.
She couldn't afford to dwell on his infraction for long, though. By the time she raised her head, the benches in the campground began filling with hungry students. It was time to put on a brave face and tidy herself up as much as she could.
Now that everyone took their seats, Houjou could hear her teacher's raucous calls for quiet from the front. Once the campground was devoid of chatter, she could see Tanabe-Sensei raise his hands up above his head. Following his lead, she stood up from her bench with all the other students at the campground. After giving thanks for the food with the other students, she walked over to the food stands and grabbed some curry to eat.
She couldn't see Hamaguchi while she lined up for the curry, but she did overhear the students ahead of her chatting about the curries.
"Oh, did you get Hibino-san's curry? It's the best of the entire class, no, the entire grade!"
"Ooh, I want to try some of the spicy curry that Takagi-san made!"
"Eww, this curry's got huge vegetable chunks and looks undercooked!"
"I know; the curry also looks really watery and cold."
She was lucky enough to get some of Hibino-san's curry. As she walked back towards her table, she could see that no one lined up to eat any of her curry. The voices among the chatter merely confirmed what she knew. As much as she hated their scathing reviews, she was used to them by now. But once Houjou returned to her seat with her meal, she caught a glimpse of Hamaguchi sitting on his bench seat. She tried to eat her meal, but she found herself eavesdropping on a conversation between Hamaguchi and Nakai.
"Oh, Hamaguchi! Those are huge chunks of vegetables you got there! Who cut them? They look a little hard too," Nakai's voice caused Houjou's head to bop up. Her eyes jumped out and her mouth gaped open with her fork still on her hand. There was no mistaking it. He took her curry! She didn't have to be a good chef, but having Hamaguchi cave into his friend's critiques was simply unacceptable!
But she did not receive a scathing review. In fact, she heard quite the opposite from Hamaguchi's lips. "This is how I like it! I love crunching the carrots with my teeth; it makes me feel like my teeth are strong, you know?"
With a jovial hum, Houjou's cheeks grew a gentle, rosy red. The sound of his teeth crunching the vegetables into small pieces seconded as sweet songs of thanks for her cooking. Does he really enjoy my curry? Ohh, I'd love for him to say all that to me.
She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. A rosy blush grew on her face as she turned back to her dinner. With Hamaguchi's praises ringing in her ears, Houjou sat herself upright with her chest raised. She savoured every bite of Hibino-san's curry and rice dish and kept a light smile throughout her meal. Perhaps I'll give Hamaguchi another visit once we're all done eating. Hopefully he'll be sitting alone by then.
With the sun beginning to set over the campground, Houjou finished every last bit of her meal. It was standard protocol for a mature lady like her to eat everything on her plate, not more and not less. With a satisfied smile, she got up from her table and put away the empty metal tray at the cleaning area. Once she did so, she turned around to see Hamaguchi sitting alone at the table where he sat for dinner.
Here's my chance to finally hear his praises straight from his mouth. She paced herself through the rows of tables and made her way to Hamaguchi's bench. Seeing his wide smile from afar made her gush. It looks like he's really happy after eating my curry. Now I just want him to say it to my face! She clasped her hands to her chest and swayed them from one side to the other with each stride. Just repeating his adoring voice was enough for her to close her eyes and release a swooning sigh.
But she had to keep herself level-headed; she was almost at Hamaguchi's table. She let her eyes soften, her mouth forming a demure smile as she arrived at his table. She took her seat on the wooden bench across from Hamaguchi and placed her black knapsack beside her.
"Hey Hamaguchi, what did you think of my curry tonight?" She asked with a light giggle, her eyes glowing like the setting sun. A ray of warmth descended upon the back of her head, soothing her tender, gnawing muscles. She could feel a rosy blush forming on her cheeks, but she shook it off with a quick wag of her head. She wanted to hear Hamaguchi's praises ring into her ears, and she would make sure to get her fill. That alone would be enough to compensate for all the troubles she went through during the expedition and the curry preparations.
Hamaguchi, on the other hand, didn't seem to share her enthusiasm. Instead, Houjou's eyes met a boy who pointed at her face with his mouth gaped wide open. Whether it was a face of mockery or horror, she couldn't tell. His shaking index finger remained glued on her face, draining Houjou of any colour on her face.
"Hamaguchi, is there something on my face?" Houjou gasped, resting her hand on her blushing cheek. Even with the rest of her body covered in sweat and dirt, she was sure her face was clean. After all, having a clean face evoked a sense of grace and tidiness that she wanted to keep in check. But with Hamaguchi staying insistent with his finger point, she became adamantly self conscious of her facial features.
She turned to her bag and retrieved her glossy, pink hand-mirror. With the precision of an eagle, she squinted her eyes, picking out the tiniest specks of dirt on her face. She couldn't let Hamaguchi know about the dirt on her face. Otherwise he would tease her for being so messy and ungroomed. Her rosy blush darkened to a deep red as her squinting face turned into a scowl.
"Hamaguchi, I don't see anything on my face! That's my mole!" Houjou growled, placing her hand on her hip. "Were you trying to prank me?!" she demanded with an accusatory point of her finger. Her voice raised forth, but it did nothing to sway Hamaguchi, whose eyes screamed pleas for mercy on his behalf.
With the setting sun came the dawn of another realisation. Her face turned bright red like the setting sun over the mountains. Did Hamaguchi not actually care about my curry the whole time? Did he think the dirt on my face got in the curry I made! Oh no! With Hamaguchi not providing any sort of resistance, Houjou simply closed her eyes and released a deep sigh from her lips. So my curry really wasn't that special to him after all, especially compared with all the specks of dirt I tried to clean off. I see how it is. After a moment to pick the few pieces of dignity she felt, she gave Hamaguchi a glare. Her glare was so cold that not even the summer air would have warmed the ice flowing through her veins.
"You are such a jerk, you know that?" Houjou retorted. "I'll see you at the campfire dance, Hamaguchi," she finished. With another sigh, she hoisted her knapsack up on her shoulders and slugged away towards the campfire. As the last rays sank below the hills within the campsite, the last vestiges of dignity that she clung onto fizzed away without a trace.
Houjou stormed away from the firelit school dance that lasted into the night, her face emblazoned with embarrassment and shame. Her hands balled into fists as she ran through the clearings of trees dotting the campsite. Her long strides across the open plain scattered brittle leaves and unassuming fireflies and cicadas. Why does it always have to be me who gets the wrong end of the stick?! She cried out within her thoughts as she continued to jog through the fields of lengthy grass. She let out a gasp as she tripped on a fallen branch, falling face first onto the crisp grass below with a loud thud.
Houjou shook her head, returned to her feet, and put her hands to her face. She whimpered, tears streaming down her face as she choked back a weary sob. Her fiery emotions whooshed through her head. He doesn't notice anything you do for him! He isn't worth your effort! Houjou clenched her fists tightly together, her knuckles turning as white as the slivers of moonlight through the trees. Houjou almost felt like a firework ready to explode.
Through the melodic wind in the trees she should barely make out a faint whisper residing within her chest. Hush-a-by baby, there's no need to fret. Go to the stars, my dear Hoshi-chan. You need to breathe and relax with the night. Let the sky wipe your tears away. The whisper itself sounded like a melody from a lullaby. The words calmed her agitated spirit like a hot mug of tea and loosened her clenched muscles, one by one.
"I haven't heard this call in ages." she breathed, turning her gaze to the heavenly night sky.
Houjou walked towards the celestial horizon. Staring transfixed at one prominent star above, she began to heed the call coming from her heart.
Through time immemorial, the night sky served as a solace for all peoples. Among the stars, however, one shone brighter than the rest: The North Star. Acting as the tip of the Little Dipper, the North Star acted as the pivot through which the other stars around its plane danced around in the night sky. Its glowing light also seconded as a navigation tool for millennia. Sailors all over the world looked to the North Star to guide them through the unknown seas across the expanse of the globe.
It was those traits that drew Houjou to the North Star whenever she felt alone. There was no way she could bear the discomfort when she clasped Hamaguchi's hand at the end of the campfire dance. The tingles that flowed through her fingers caused her to flinch moments after they coupled together. With how difficult her camping trip was on all fronts, all she wanted was time away from everyone else and time with the stars.
Having run through the forest, Houjou found herself in the middle of a grassy plain that seemed to stretch for miles. The constellation of stars twinkling in the sky above caused her to stop in her tracks and stand still. She stretched her hand towards the ground, as if she were motioning herself to catch her breath and look upwards. There she allowed her eyes to blink rapidly a few times before putting them to rest. She had seen the starry show many times over the years, but witnessing it from an open field always brought along with it an immersive experience.
Houjou took a seat on the green plains, letting her cotton shorts press against the soft grass.
The summer night wind flowed through Houjou's tangled hair and soothed her tired, aching figure. She slowly laid on her back, adjusting herself in the grass and outstretching her arms in the grass above her head. The crickets chirping in the nearby thicket pulled her into a deeper state of drowsiness. The melodies of nature were accompanied by a familiar, elderly voice. It was that of her grandmother rocking her to sleep back when the days were better.
Houjou drew in a shuddering breath and sat up sharply, waving her hand about her face as if to clear the lullaby from her head. Her grumbling echoed into the night sky as she sat up straight, crossing her arms against her chest. She slowly stood upright and kicked a lone beach rock down the hill. Why does Hamaguchi always have to make me feel so tired?! My body gets so drained everytime I try to impress him. Her silent tirade made her feel fatigued and dizzy. She sat back down, unable to stand without her head feeling faint.
Houjou grunted again, kicking her feet in the dirt aimlessly. Why does Hamaguchi have to be such a dunce?!
She looked up at the sky, searching for any kind of answer. As she analysed the complex array of celestial bodies, a picture from seven years ago emerged. It was an image of herself with her grandmother back in second grade. As much as she hated it, she remembered the accident with the painting she made. She had splattered white paint over a black piece of paper with a toothbrush. The squirt of white paint ruined what was supposed to be a neat array of stars lining the night sky.
But the scene continued. Expecting her grandmother to scold her for being so clumsy, Houjou closed her eyes and whimpered. Her grandmother had other ideas. The first words out of her mouth were nothing but praise.
"Oh, Houjou! Look how beautiful your Milky Way galaxy looks! You're such a fabulous artist, so fabulous in fact that I think your whole family will love this!" In subsequent days, her grandmother opted to send copies of her creation to as many friends and relatives as she could think of.
That picture was so messy. Now that I think about it, my drawing did look like the night sky. Houjou paused. On occasion her grandmother's words rang hollow. Sometimes Houjou felt like her grandmother overdid her praises to the point it didn't feel as genuine. With regards to the painting, however, she had a point. The lights shining before her drew a sort of beauty from the chaos. With its sweeping brushes, entire galaxies larger than the Milky Way could be seen just with her naked eye. There was no rhyme or reason to their placement, yet they projected onto the rest of the galaxy their unmatched glory.
These stars are so scattered all over the place, but that's what's so beautiful about them. Houjou yawned and rubbed her eyes. There was a certain level of neatness and order that she demanded for everyone, including herself. It gave her a sense of control, a way to constrain the chaos of the world around her. It was another one of her defining pillars of maturity.
Demanding such levels of perfection did a number on her. Disaster followed disaster, even when she meticulously prepared her camping itinerary. On top of that, the fact that her heart called out its song to a boy so messy and unpredictable was beyond her comprehension.
In the small moments he did pander her, her heart shimmered like the stars above. Yet most of her interactions, like the one at the dinner table and the campfire dance, ended up dimming her shine instead. If only she didn't have to put in so much effort to be so perfect. Especially when it came to interacting with the messy-haired boy.
Houjou crossed her legs and grumbled. Clenching her teeth, she raised her hands in the air, bringing them towards the sky. She tightened her right hand into a fist and shook her arm. "Look at the stars! They don't have to act so perfect to be noticed! They're happy enough the way they are!"
Houjou brought her hands back to her sides and sighed. She stared up at the stars once more, a pained expression growing on her face. "I wish Hamaguchi could see me like the stars. I want him to notice my accomplishments instead of always finding my flaws for once," Houjou said, her voice sputtering away. She hung her head and reached her hand towards her face to scratch an itch. A smudge of dirt appeared on her finger tips.
She gasped and wrinkled her nose with wide eyes that screamed of utter disgust. Ugh, this must have been from where I fell before! No wonder I feel so dirty! She picked through her hair with her fingers and found twigs and bits of grass. She jumped up and frantically scanned her legs and arms to make sure she wasn't carrying any bugs with her either. I can't believe I didn't feel any of the grass and twigs at all!
She may have gotten all the debris off her, but she couldn't shake off the picture of Hamaguchi pointing at her with a skittish laugh. "If Hamaguchi was already pointing at me with only a little bit of dirt on my face, imagine what he'd be doing now if he saw me like this!" Houjou said. Pangs of anxiety coursed through her body, leaving her shuffling her feet in place. "What's the point of me trying to get him to notice me anymore? All he'll think about is the dirt on my skin!" Houjou cried out emphatically, her firing nerves drowning out the North Star's twinkling light.
But a booming voice put a halt to her restless dance. "It's almost lights out class, everyone gets in your tents! I better not hear any chit chat!" Tanabe-sensei's shouts echoed from the campsite.
"It's already lights out? I've got to get back!" Houjou said, her thoughts still accelerating from her frustrations. She sprinted back to the main campsite as fast as she could. She didn't care that she forgot to bathe in the onsen. All she could think about was her tired aching body and her delayed observation of twigs and dirt all over her. Each sprint grew heavier and heavier, as though an anchor in the sea was weighing her down.
Back inside her tent, Houjou's eyes stayed open. The mass of the anchor descended lower and lower into the pit of her stomach. As she tossed and turned in her sleeping bag, the North Star grew dim into a watery, murky shell of what it used to be: incomplete and unknown.
Houjou awoke from her nap. She shook her head and massaged her temples. She turned towards the clock hanging from the top of the wall at the other side of the room. 6:00 pm. Was I really out for two hours? She would have normally jumped up from her couch and started on her dinner preparations. That was if she didn't feel such a heavy weight holding her down on the couch.
The weight pressing her down forced her into a sitting position on the white couch. Laying on her, the memories of her camping trip occupied her waking thoughts. While pouting was unbecoming for a girl striving to be mature, she allowed herself to pout just this once. After all, the camping trip was an extraneous circumstance, a lapse of her best self within unfamiliar territory. Never again would she go on any camping excursion, she vowed.
Even as she loosened her arm muscles by shaking them, the black card dotted with stars remained by her side. A single glance at the card caused her to pass a grunt through her lips. As horribly prepared the card was, I would love to get away right now.
But the weight pushing her ankles now pressed against her wearied chest and her forehead. Why won't these weights go away? I'm avoiding Hamaguchi because he doesn't care to notice me. Even when I give him openings to come to me, he refuses to take them! That's not my fault! Houjou grunted with each sentence.
But her heart pushed on her chest, rebelling against her suppression. Houjou, you've never told him that what he's done is hurting you! How could he have known?
That's enough. He's had many chances to know throughout middle school, and all he's done is act like a coward. Houjou growled back with narrowed eyes. If it means I must live with this weight for the rest of my life, so be it!
In defiance, she arose from her couch and walked towards her bedroom, loosely gripping the black card. At the middle of the room, Houjou released her grip without a second thought. She walked on, not hearing the light tap the card made as it fell onto the hardwood floor. Once she entered her room, she closed the door without a second thought.
Amid the background of orange rays shining into the living room, the black card's lights twinkled, transforming into a holograph. A new set of stars appeared, forming the Big and Little Dipper constellations. Among the stars that glittered on the holographic card, the North Star shone the brightest. Right beside the North Star was another smaller star keeping it company. More importantly, the smaller star seemed to make the North Star shine even brighter.