"Sorry Ma." Jane smiled apologetically as she slipped back into the booth across from her mother. "It was work on the phone, Korsak." She picked up her plastic menu that had been smudged with fingerprints from the early morning rush. It was something you just ignored here, the food was too good. City Diner was in the heart of their old neighborhood in Revere and the kind of place that just never seemed to slow down or close despite how many ownership changes had happened over the years. The pastrami sandwich could rival the best New York delicatessen, and the chipped mugs were seen as less of a hazard and more a nod to the old neighborhood's blue-collar working-class. They would come a lot when she and her brothers were little and blueberry pie was only fifty cents a slice. Sometimes the five of them would squeeze into one of the worn booths too. Jane with Frank on one side and her mother with the two younger fidgety versions of Tommy and Frankie on the other. It always made her feel somehow more independent sitting beside her father. She could order whatever she wanted sitting beside him, even if her mother protested. She was too young to understand how backwards and one sided of a parenting technique this was. At the time though Jane reveled in the upper hand it gave her over her brothers who were slowly but surely gaining her parent's favor.

"Work." Angela nodded.

"Yeah, we have that open case." She looked down at her menu. "You know what you gonna order?"

"I heard on this news podcast that crime against unformed officers have gone up recently."

Jane studied her mother for a beat. "Yeah? Which news podcast?"

"I don't know. It's something Maura set up for me. It's good to know what's going on especially when you kids don't tell me anything." She commented nonchalantly as she looked over her menu. "Pancakes."

Jane went back to reading her menu when she was able to recognize that her mother didn't know about the shooting she was involved in. That had surely made some news headlines "We got enough going on here, Ma. You really want to know about murders all day?"

Angela nodded before putting her mug down. The coffee was a lot stronger than she had anticipated, small sips were all she could really stand. "You look tired all the time now that's all."

Jane snorted as she put her menu down. "Wow right to it huh?" She picked up her mug. "We had a late night." She debated on how much she should say about the case. "We found a woman dead… she was pregnant, we think her ex had someone poison her." She thought of Masha Beolini then. "But we have a lead. Her girlfriend I think." Beolini had all but refused to leave without being assured that she would be contacted if anything came up. It was all still a little confusing if she were honest. Where did she place Beolini in her mind? Suspect or victim?

"Oh heavens." Angela shook her head. She waited for Jane to take a sip of her coffee and comment on its strength. "This wasn't on the news."

"It wouldn't be."

"Have I told you how proud I am of you?"

Jane furrowed a brow worriedly. "Are you going to right now?" She looked around. "In front of all these people?"

Angela chuckled. "I could never do what you do, I don't know how you do it, Janie" Jane smiled lightly, noticing how she hadn't lumped Frankie in on the compliment. It was rare her mother talked about the actual doing of the work, it was nice to hear sometimes, still the detective was on calculated alert. There was something in her mother's tone that suggested she didn't come to breakfast with her to talk about how proud she was of her. "It just seems, Honey that every day now there is a case that has you kids up all night." She made herself more comfortable in the booth. "You won't be young forever. Wouldn't it be nice to—"

"—Please don't say settle down."

"I was going to say slow down." Jane sighed impatiently. "We were talking about this, remember?"

Jane reached for her plastic tumbler of ice water and took a noisy sip. "I remember." Angela waited.

"Well?"

"Well… What if… it's not for me, Ma?"

"Slowing down or this new fancy FBI job?"

Jane shifted. "Maybe a little of both?" She played with one of the unopened creamers between them as she spoke. "I love being a cop… It's just tough sometimes. It happens to everyone on the force. They tell you that going in." She shrugged.

"I do not think everyone has been through what you've been through, honey."

Jane couldn't argue that. Her career had been a statistically anomaly from day one. "Yeah…"

"I just wish you could come to me like you used to." There were moments the past few months that she noticed a closed off nature in her daughter she didn't recognize. Surely it had to do with her father, but there was something else there too. "When you came in to help me with the inputs Monday it seemed like you were caring the weight of the world on your shoulders, Janie." Jane frowned as she tried to make sense of the pattern of their conversation. "I'm worried about you." She finished.

"Ma." She shook her head. "I'm fine. I mean… I'm a little stressed out but—"

"How have you been sleeping lately?"

Jane blinked. "Sleeping?"

"Yes, sleeping."

"I'm sleeping fine, Ma."

"You slept over a lot last week."

Jane sat back in her seat and nodded. She had, but that was only because well, Maura. "Yeah." Was all she could figure to say.

"You only sleep over when you have nightmares." The older woman pointed out, her features soft and encouraging. Why did Jane suddenly look so confused. "Honey?"

Jane shook her head. "I'm not having nightmares Ma."

"You're not?"

"No." The detective sat back in her seat with a sense of real bewilderment on where to even begin though. Her mother looked worried enough that she thought she should at least address her concerns. How did she do that though without telling the truth, something the older woman utterly deserved.

Angela braced herself against the table when she saw Jane mull over what to say next. It was rare to see her daughter without words. "Whatever it is honey, we can get through it together." She nodded, it about ripped Jane in half with grief.

"Ma." She shook her head slowly. "I'm fine. I promise." Angela didn't release a breath that she was expecting so she leaned forward some and reached for her mother's hand over the table. "I'm—" Just then the two were interrupted by the waitress who initially greeted them, she was ready for their orders and no she would not come back around in five because the morning kitchen staff needed to go home. When she left Jane reached out for her mother's hand again. "Ma." She repeated.

"You know after Vince's wedding you went through a tough time."

"Yeah, and then I got better." Jane nodded reassuringly. If she hadn't shot Alice Sands she wasn't sure she could answer with such confidence but that detail had also been kept secret from Angela. "I am better."

"Sometimes when we have things happen." She squeezed her daughter's hand affectionately. "Stressful things." Jane nodded once to show she was listening, one brow though had yet to unfurrow. "Sometimes these things can come back, and that's okay." Angela coaxed gently. "Do you know what I mean, Sweetheart?"

Jane chewed on the sentiment. "I think so?" Wait. "You think my PTSD is back, Ma?" Angela didn't seem prepared to answer the question though and it made Jane both sad and upset at the same time. "Is that what you think is going on?"

Angela waited and then shrugged hopelessly. "I can't answer that, honey." They stared at each other. "Is it?"

##

"Gay."

Jane snapped her head up from her thoughts. "What?" She looked at her brother warily as he approached her.

Frankie chuckled at her response and set the coffee he had gotten her on his way into the precinct down on her desk. "I said. Hey, y'know like hi, what's up?"

Jane rubbed at her temple as she picked up the coffee and nodded at him in thanks. "Hey back."

Frankie dropped himself into the seat beside Jane's desk and motioned to the pile of paperwork in front of her. "You even go home?"

Jane hummed into her cup before putting it down and adopting a similar posture as Frankie by leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs at the ankle. "If I said yes, would you believe me?"

"No."

She frowned. "Korsak kicked me out around midnight. Had breakfast with Ma this morning." Frankie raised his brows. "Don't ask."

"That bad?"

Jane shook her head. "No, just…" She shook her head again and motioned to the piles of paperwork on her desk. "Where's Nina? I need her help adding all this to the BRIC computers."

Frankie leaned forward and examined one of the files. "What's all this?"

Jane uncrossed her legs and scooted her chair closer to her desk to show him what she had been working on. "That list Beolini gave us?"

Frankie leaned closer. "The sign in list from the AA meetings?"

"Yeah, well there is no way to know for sure if everyone put their real name down in the sign in sheets, but Judge Kowalski just gave us that warrant for the CCTV camera outside the Thai restaurant near the parking lot of Our Lady." She moved some things aside to show her brother the picture of the parking lot in question. "Whatever is real we can rule out by face recognition."

Frankie took the photo from her and examined it. "This the only entrance for those meetings?"

"Yeah, Beolini confirmed it."

"We trust her?"

Jane shrugged. "She's the only connection to Murphy that we have right now, I think we have to."

"So all those files are people who's names came back as real."

"Yup." She motioned to her desk. "There are a few names on the list that didn't check out to be real names."

"How much is a few?"

Jane was about to respond when her cell phone on her desk began to buzz wildly. Frankie nodded and picked up another file to look at so Jane could take her call.

"Rizzoli." She answered without looking at the caller ID. She motioned another file into Frankie's vision, and he took it to examine.

"Jane?"

Jane perked up at the familiar voice. Aside from stealing some kisses and sweet nothings that morning before picking up her mother Jane hadn't seen or spoken to Maura all day. "Hey, why do you sound pissed?" She joked which earned her a glance from Frankie.

"I don't understand what that means, but if it bares any similarity to frustration then you are accurate. I am pissed."

Jane sat back in her seat. "Okay. What happened?"

"Today I was going to go to the nursery to retrieve my spring order."

Frankie showed her and file and Jane nodded. "…Uhuh."

"I cannot locate any of my gardening tools." She sighed heavily not wanting to be mad at Jane but finding it hard not to when she was the last one to borrow them to help Tommy with a job that fall. Jane knew better than to misplace her things and not tell her she was sure she wasn't actually missing anything, but the chaotic state of the small shed in her back courtyard was enough to send her into a panic. Shovels of all sizes were placed on their hooks at varying heights. The planter's soil container had not been sealed properly ruining it's nutritional content through oxidation, there was one glove hanging off of the inside doorknob, who knew where the other was.

"Check the shed." Jane motioned another file to Frankie. Maura's even breath on the other line pulled her attention back. "What they aren't in there? I remember leaving everything in there, Maura."

"You've just thrown everything in, without any regard to the order of th—"

"—Hold hold on, what's actually the problem? You can't find them or they are missing?"

"What exactly is the difference between those two events, Jane?"

Jane thought about this for a moment. "Tommy was the last one to lock up."

Maura rolled her eyes "You're blaming Tommy?"

Jane stood from her chair and headed for the breakroom. "I'm not blaming Tommy; I'm telling you he was the last one in there."

"Why when I entrusted you—"

"—Maura c'mon alright?" She touched the back of one of the breakroom chairs when she was sure she was alone. "I'm at work, what do you want me to do from here? I'm sorry I should have looked at the printout." Maura kept a printout inventory incased in plastic on the inside of the shed door because Maura.

The ME stepped over a box of unused flowering pots one had toppled over. "I just wished you would have communicated that you didn't have time to put everything back correctly."

"I'm sorry." She could kill Tommy. What at surface seemed like a funny quirk really effected her best friend, and since learning this years back Jane tried her best to help maintain the order of things, and be there for her when that was impossible. Today she could do neither. As she listened to the ME move about the small space she recalled why exactly she had left her kid brother to put things away in the first place, it was the exact same reason she would have to hang up now. "I'll fix it tomorrow." She added.

Maura sighed at Jane's apologetic tone and then shook her head at herself. She took a few breaths to center herself and then leaned against the small counter where a drill was sitting on its side, unplugged. "I'm being unpleasant."

"A little?" Jane smiled a little at Maura's chuckle on the other end as she picked herself up from leaning on the breakroom chair to sitting in it. "Just leave it alright, we'll get the order tomorrow and I'll fix it." She soothed.

"Tomorrow is Sunday Jane the nursery closes early."

"So, we'll get up early and go. This will give me an excuse to be out of the way when you guys are cooking."

Maura found the other gardening glove. "Was breakfast that bad?"

Jane exhaled. "She thinks I'm staying over so much because I'm having nightmares again… like before." Jane rubbed at her brow. "The not sleeping and all that."

"Post-traumatic stress disorder."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, that."

Maura frowned as she mentally cycled through the last year. "You haven't had a nightmare in some time."

"Yeah well…" Jane shook her head. "Can we talk about all this later?"

"You're at BPD?"

"Yeah, for a little bit."

She looked at her thin silver wristwatch. "Mind the time."

"I will." She promised. "I had plans tonight but.."

"Had?"

Jane grinned softly as she leaned her elbows on the table. "Well I don't know if my date wants to see me after what I did."

Maura smiled. "Of course I do, Jane."

"Did I mention that this pause thing sucks?"

She hummed. "Three times now."

"Well it sucks."

Maura shook her head. She understood what the other woman was doing, but it was working, and she was grateful. There was so much they could and probably should discuss but also there was this thing, their thing, and it was light and fun and sweet and she liked thinking about it more than recognizing the small prickle of unsteadiness that her current surroundings caused her, or finding Jane sitting at her dining room table dressed for work at three in the morning. "I was rather chilled last night." She agreed. "Have I mentioned that to you?"

"Not even once actually."

"Oh."

Jane glanced at the closed breakroom door. "You know if you're interested, I can keep you warm."

It was Maura's turn to blush. "I know you can."

"So you're interested?" She asked it as if she was about to make a sale on the last used car in the lot.

Maura chuckled softly. "You are impossible, Jane."

"You know how hard it was waking up to a normal alarm clock and all the blankets to myself?"

"Today was the African Bucerotidae, they have a two lobed kidney which I found fascinating because most—"

"—Since you only have one?"

"…What?" She shook her head. "No, Jane most humans have seven to eighteen renal lobes, I surely have more than one…"

"Well how many do you have?"

Maura blinked. She didn't know. "I don't know."

"Well isn't that something they'd tell you?" She made a hand gesture. "Yknow when they sucked one of yours out with a straw?"

"That is not how the procedure works, and they took the organ itself." Maura rested the two gardening gloves together neatly on the counter before stepping over the flowerpots to exit the shed.

"Well how many do I have?"

Maura exhaled. "I don't know." She paused. "For a woman of your size I would likely believe somewhere between eight and eleven."

"Stay at my place tonight."

She smiled. "Okay."

They spoke for a few moments more before Nina entered the breakroom. "Oh, sorry." She smiled when she noticed Jane smiling on the phone.

Jane stood abruptly from her seat and waved her off to signal that it wasn't that big of a deal. She cleared her throat "I gotta go." She told Maura. The ME said something sweet in French, Jane wasn't sure what but it made her blush a little. "Exactly, me too." Jane replied before hanging up and slipping her cell phone back onto her hip. "Hey Holiday."

"Hi Jane." Nina smiled to herself as she set up their coffee machine for another pot. Frankie had gotten her coffee but upon hearing that Jane was getting the third degree she couldn't resist being a little curious who she might be receiving it from, now it all made sense. "When'd you get in?"

Jane came over to where she was making coffee and leaned against the old off-white noise machine they called a refrigerator. "An hour ago. I was looking at—"

"—Was that Maura? I keep forgetting to talk to her about the wedding. Did she send you the information about the place where Frankie is getting his suit?"

Jane shifted her posture to fully standing. "Frankie did actually."

Nina glanced at her. "Oh good."

"I still have to get fitted."

"And you still have to RSVP, Maura too, I need to know if she's brining that hunk from Boston Fire or not."

Jane shifted. "I dunno."

Nina glanced at her. "They seemed to hit it off at The Robber that one time?"

Jane narrowed her eyes minutely. One time constituted as a wedding date invite? Didn't Frankie already bring in coffees? "No clue." She shrugged.

"Anyway whatever it is she needs to let me know." The analyst shrugged to match Jane's as she focused her attention back on the coffee machine. She could feel the other woman's intensity though. "Do we always brew on this setting? I can't remember…"

Just then the breakroom door opened and Frankie poked his head in. "Janie, we got a match on that list."

Jane nodded quickly at Nina as she excused herself. "Hey." She nudged Frankie as they walked side by side across the stretch of desks and chairs in the homicide wing. "This Gary guy—"

"Boston Fire Gary or Narcotics Gary?"

"Boston Fire."

"Yeah?"

She didn't know what she wanted to ask but she felt so moved to say something. "He's coming to this surprise thing for Korsak?"

Frankie seemed genuinely confused. "Yeah why?"

"What do we know about him?" Frankie raised a brow. "Nina was saying that he might be at the wedding too."

"Who's wedding?"

"Yours."

"Why?"

Jane sighed. "What do we know about him?"

"I dunno. He's a cool guy, Janie, he drives for them. Engine seven. I think his old man was a cop. Why?" He asked again not following how this could be connected at all to their case. By chance he just so happened to glance behind them. Nina was standing in the doorway of the breakroom giving him a thumbs up and he groaned quietly. Oh right. "I think he likes Maura." He raised a brow when Jane looked at him quickly. "Remember I was sayin' he was asking about her?" He watched his sister think a million things before turning to look where she was going. "Asked for her number too." She looked at him again.

Jane finally nodded. "Yeah, I remember you telling me about him." She also remembered telling her brother to cut it this matchmaking crap.

"So what he's her plus one or something?"

Jane's brow twitched. "No, I don't know… Maura has to RSVP."

"Why do you have to RSVP to my wedding?" He laughed. "Beef or salmon?"

Jane looked at her quizzically. "What?"

"I guess it's for the caterer, I can put you down on this app." He pulled out his cell phone. "What does Maura want?"

Jane just looked at him as they walked. "…What's the vegetarian option?" She asked suspiciously.

Frankie made a show of recalling. "Uh, some polenta thing with sundried tomato and pesto." He nodded. Jane continued to stare at him. "Not as good as Ma's polenta." He added quickly as an afterthought before nudging her arm. "What do you guys want?"

There was something upspoken about the gesture, something knowing. Frankie was good like that but for Jane it only added to the bucket of guilt her mother had set to fill that morning. How many times could she skirt around the truth about her feelings for her best friend without hurting the people who loved and supported her? What did it say about how she viewed Maura?

Jane reached for his phone. "Lemme see the menu?"

He handed it over. "Short ribs were the best."

Jane nodded as she read. "Yeah, I want that." She handed it back to him. Frankie nodded and pressed a few buttons as they entered BRIC.

"Maura?"

She pulled up one of the chairs circled around the large digital screen with an angry looking man with boxy yet familiar features on it. "Well he looks capable of murder." She put her knuckle to her chin and glanced behind her at her brother. "Polenta."

Frankie pressed a few buttons before slipping his cell phone into his pocket and motioning to the screen. "This guy was Luis Reynolds on the sign in list Beolini gave us. Facial recognition software on the CCTV footage we got says something else though."

"You pulled this that fast?"

He shrugged. "Nina."

"Ah." She smiled a little. "So, what's his real name?"

Frankie crossed his arms to his chest proudly and Jane could feel her own pulse quicken with the notion of a break in their case. "Jordan Cortelyou."

She hummed loudly. "No shit."

"Oh yes."

"Brother?"

"Half-brother."

"Where's Korsak?"

##

"Oh" Maura smiled as she examined the plastic container of organic mixed greens Jane handed her at the door when she came around to pick her up later that evening.

"For George." She explained.

Maura chuckled at herself not knowing what she had expected and nodded once as she stepped aside to let Jane in. "Of course." She took note of Jane's outfit with a small hum of approval as the taller woman leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. She smelt of faintly of bargain bath soap (the one in the green box) and pine needles and wore a pair of casual black loafers without socks, dark blue denim jeans and a simple, yet designer looking black polo with the thinnest white trim to accent the edges of the lapel. "You look so nice." She beamed. The polo was a new purchase, she knew this because she knew all of Jane's clothes.

Jane shrugged and motioned to Maura who of course looked drop dead gorgeous. Could there at all be a competition? "You look beautiful as always."

The ME blushed despite herself and waved the small container of salad mix. "I'm going to put these in water."

Jane scoffed playfully. "Frankie came with me to the grocery store." She followed Maura's hips as they entered the kitchen. She was wearing a high waisted burnt orange leather skirt that Jane was struggling to ignore, heels, and a tucked in black shirt with long sleeves of lace that ran from her wrists to her neckline and then down a single straight line down her back. She wasn't wearing a bra, or at least that's what Jane was able to deduce from the milky skin exposed through the black lace.

"They're lovely."

Jane sighed. "C'mon, Maura." Maura began to grin. "I was… gonna get you flowers. I know how this works."

Her smile smudged adorably as she tilted her head. "How does this work?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "You're messing with me." She crossed her arms next as Maura's grin widened. "Frankie had to pick up cauliflower or whatever and I couldn't.. I mean I didn't think buying you flowers right then... What?" The ME pried one of her arms free and held It at the wrist as she spoke.

"I love it, truly. It saves me a trip." She let it go before moving to put George's dinner in the fridge. "How was breakfast?" Maura wanted to ask Jane about her case but decided on a whim that for this evening she wouldn't bring up their work at all.

Jane looked around as if remembering for the first time that her mother lived there. "I'll tell you in the car." Maura nodded as she moved about the kitchen doing some last-minute straightening up. Jane came over to the dishwasher and looked inside of it. "You wanna run this?"

"Yes, please." Maura emptied the leftover water from her tea kettle into the sink.

"Did you talk with Tasha?" Jane asked after pressing a few buttons and closing the machine. A satisfying humming and slushing could be heard as she turned toward her date. "She running a con?"

Maura was at the side of the island near her clutch making sure she had everything. "I spoke with her yes and I'm afraid it's just as you thought."

Jane crossed her arms and leaned against the counter ready for the bad news. "Which was what? The con?"

Maura smiled to herself. "She wants time off, to be close home. Bar People Skills."

"She can do that without working at The Dirty Robber. What's wrong with MEND?"

"I believe she senses my hesitancy." She closed her clutch and watched as Jane pushed herself off the counter. "Has it ever occurred to you that you spend a lot of time at The Dirty Robber?" Jane seemed to put that thought into prospective. "Ready?" She smiled a little wider at how she was forced once again to observe how cute and put together Jane seemed. Her mane of dark curls was pulled back into a lush ponytail tonight because it was truly getting so long. She remembers it now as she preferred to remember it, spilling over Jane's bare shoulders as she lay on her back beneath her.

"What?" Jane smirked when she caught the ME studying her as she came over.

"Nothing." She smiled as she touched her arm.

Jane raised a brow adoringly. "Okay so stop looking at me like that."

The blonde rolled her eyes and jabbed Jane's arm softly. "I'll try."

They made their way out to Jane's unmarked just as the evening had started to slow into night with the sky dashing soft pinks and oranges against deep grey. After letting Maura open the driver's side door for her Jane leaned into the backseat of her car and pulled out the small bouquet of wild spring flowers wrapped in florist paper and waited for Maura to sit in the passenger's seat and notice.

"Jane." She beamed.

She once got Maggie McDonald a flower off the playground once in grade school. Why that memory suddenly fluttered to the forefront of the homicide detective's brain was beyond her. "Just take them."

Maura laughed a little taking the flowers and savoring a moment of their intoxicating aroma before looking at the woman sitting across from her. "When did you get these?"

Jane scratched the back of her neck. "You like them?"

"I do." Maura admired the deep greens and purples that dominated the festive bouquet. "Is this a miniature Strelitzia reginae?" She got very excited which only made Jane smile.

"Uh… yes?"

"I have to put these in water."

Jane nodded. "I didn't bring them in cause.." She sighed.

Sensing a mild distress wash over the other woman Maura nodded reassuringly. "When I come back will you tell me how it went?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah." Maura promised to be back in a moment and when she was Jane was determined to talk about anything but her mother. If she noticed the pathologist said nothing. Tasha dominated the conversation as they made their way down to the piers to the restaurant where they had their first experimental date, Maillard.

It was a busy Saturday evening, the kind where just standing in the presence of so many collective good times put an electricity in the air that was feverish and promised nothing but life's finest of vibrations. Looking for parking took longer than expected because of this but soon the two women were weaving their way through the throngs of young people standing outside of bars laughing and smoking. The row of restaurants where Maillard was located was known for their fresh seafood selections and as they passed one particular oyster bar advertising oysters on the half shell for a dollar each Maura reached for Jane's arm.

"There is little, if any, truth to the idea that oysters are an aphrodisiac." She shared as she observed young couples slurping away at the restaurant's outside seating.

Jane looked down at her side wondering (not for the first time) where Maura fit all this information. "Oh yeah?"

"A specie of mussel related to oysters contains two rare amino acids" She looked at Jane who nodded for her to continue. "D-aspartic acid and N-methyl-D-aspartate, which have been shown to increase sperm motility and stimulate testosterone in mice."

"Gross."

She smiled. "No studies have looked at whether that translates to increased libido I'm afraid."

"Ah too bad, I always wondered about the sperm motility in mice."

"Really?" Maura thought about it. "I would have never imagined."

Jane sent her a look. "I'm kidding, Maura." The ME just patted her arm. "Here it is." The detective motioned to the corner where they were to turn to get to the little shoe boxed sized restaurant with tastefully strung white holiday lights and the epic view of the waters edge. As they checked in with their host and were brought to their table Jane couldn't help remembering how she felt when they first came here months back. She had been nervous for their experimental date, excited too, but mostly moving in a state of awe that the Maura Isles wanted to sit and have a meal with her under such romantic circumstances. She knew then like she knew now that their feelings for one another ran deep, but she had hoped it was in fact reality setting their course and not some funny thing they would laugh off later.

Maura took a sip of water immediately upon being seated and smiled at Jane's little expression. "What are you thinking about?"

"First time we came here." She sat back in her seat comfortably. They were seated at booth along the back glass wall overlooking the water.

Maura's smile grew a stitch. "It seems like years have passed."

"Good years?"

Maura nodded as she reached for her hand on the table. "I'm glad we have returned." She let Jane's hand go and motioned to the small dining room. "I remember thinking that I was impressed."

Jane chuckled. "You weren't nervous?"

"Of course, I was, Jane."

"About what? You knew I liked you."

"Yes but." Maura thought back to that evening. "I had hoped that it was possible for you to see me as someone you might be sexually attracted to. That wasn't a guarantee."

Jane scoffed. "Maura anyone with a pulse would find you sexually attractive."

The pathologist waved her off with a small blush. "There was a chance that—"

"—What chance? C'mon." She reached for her water.

She laughed "You asked what I had been nervous about, that's what I was nervous about. We've known each other for so long, we've been like sisters. I didn't want that to change and yet…" She shrugged one shoulder shyly. "I did." Jane put her glass down. "I've always thought you were the most beautiful person in the room, Jane."

The detective blushed. "Yeah well, I don't know about that. I've always, y'know, had a thing for you." She gestured to her own head. "Whether I knew it or not."

"Welcome to Maillard." Their waiter approached their table all smiles. "Are we ready to order?"

"Drinks?" Maura asked Jane as she picked up her menu to make a hasty decision.

"Yeah why not?" Jane picked up her menu too. "Will you help me with the wine?"

Maura smiled at the waiter. "Two glasses of Picpoul de Pinet to start." She was feeling nostalgic.

"Absolutely." He nodded and slipped away from the table as quietly as he came.

"I had a very light lunch." Maura began as she looked over the menu.

"Yeah I didn't really eat much after breakfast, we can get a bunch of stuff but there is food at the night market too." Jane thought aloud as she skimmed.

"Let's get dessert there."

Jane looked up and nodded. "Okay. Ice cream?"

"Ooh and funnel cake."

Jane laughed. "You are going to actually order you own this time and not just poke at mine right?" Maura swayed her shoulders a few times adorably as if to signal that she hadn't exactly made up her mind on the matter. After some debate on the quantity of lobster rolls they realistically needed their drinks arrived and they placed their food orders.

"Do you like it?" Maura asked as she watched Jane take baby bird sips from her wine glass.

"It's lemony."

"Precisely." She aerated her glass professionally. "It needs to open up a little but it will pair perfectly with our prawns." She watched Jane try to swirl her glass in the same manner and couldn't help but have the action tug at her heart strings. "We can always order a lemony beer next." The detective nodded excitedly as she continued to play with her glass. "I love you."

Jane looked up from her wine to meet her gaze and smiled softly. "I love you too, Maur." She murmured.

"Are you alright?" Maura couldn't stand to have the micro expression of worry on her love's face for the entire evening. "Would you like to talk about what happened?" She searched Jane's face in efforts to see if she had misread it but Jane taking a slow breath meant she hadn't.

"Ma thinks my PTSD is back. She was… real worried Maura and I couldn't tell her not to worry. I couldn't tell her about… because I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"Am I gay?" Jane asked her best friend for the second time.

Maura smiled softly. "I would say at some level yes, definitely." They shared quiet chuckles and blushed deeply at the thought of their first time together. Maura recovered first and reached across the table for her hand again. "What feels like the right thing to say will come in time." She reassured. "There isn't a time limit on these things, mon amour. Nor is there a need for any specific language."

Jane looked at her tenderly. "That's the problem, Maura."

"How is that a problem?" Their fingers laced.

"There is a time limit. Every time I don't say something it becomes worse. This feeling like…" She shrugged not knowing what to call it exactly. "Like I'm betraying you or me or both of us… I want people to know that I love you, that spending time with you is because I wanna do it and it makes me happy not because I can't do anything else. You can't just be matched up with beefy firefighters either." Maura raised a brow and Jane shook her head. "I want my mother to understand why I'm so pissed about how my old man treated you, I want them to understand that if something ever happens to me at work, you're the only person I wanna see." She was surprised at the level of emotion in her firmness but it felt as if she had been choking on these words all day and she could not take it anymore. "I don't want it to be this… joke." She recalled Davies Top Cop title for Maura. She was a doctor in forensic pathology, the President of New England Medical Officers, The Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and a god damn friend of the zoo. She deeply cared about her people, loved plant and space documentaries especially, and was always without question the smartest most graceful presence in a room. She was not some imaginary figure that could so causally be tossed aside. She was her love, and she deserved that title too. "You deserve more respect than that." Maura's eyes glossed as she took a small breath while holding Jane's hand. "I can't even bring you flowers to your door and it's…stupid." Jane decided after a frustrating half beat of struggling to find the right word. "It's just stupid."

"Jane."

"So there is a time limit." Jane finished as she took her hand from Maura's and focused on her wine glass again. "For me."

Maura took in a deep breath and nodded. Of course Jane would feel this way. "What would you like to do?" She made sure she waited until Jane was looking at her. "Whatever you decide I'll be right here." She dipped her chin. "Even if you're not gay." She teased softly and Jane let up a little laugh, she was still overwhelmed by Maura's sentiment to truly enjoy the joke.

"I…I think I'm somewhere on the line." She made a horizontal motion with her free hand. Did it even matter?

"I should hope that no one expects you to pinpoint exactly where, Jane."

"Won't they?" She asked curiously. "Is that what you want to tell your parents at dinner?"

"No," Maura shook her head. Was that what she thought? "All I intend to say is that we are seeing each other now and are very happy."

Jane sat with this for a long moment before nodding. "After we tell your folks we should… yknow start telling people. My family."

Maura nodded. "Okay." She smiled at Jane's case face. "What should we say?"

"That…" She thought about it. "That we love each other."

"I think everyone knows that."

"That you're taken, my girlfriend."

"Am I?"

"Aren't you? That's what you said right, we couldn't have an anniversary unless we were… y'know. Not lying about it."

Maura bit back her smile. "I recall." Jane seemed to resent the whole idea which she found endearing.

Jane's features softened as she remembered that very same conversation after coming back from New York. "I don't know how Ma will respond… She loves you."

"I know she does."

"You're still worried about her though."

"Will she believe I am an adequate partner for you is another question entirely."

Jane nodded. "Her knowing is better than her thinking I'm sick again."

Maura frowned. "You were never sick, Jane."

"That's how it felt."

The ME's frown deepened. "I do not want you to rush because you are annoyed by other's standards of togetherness. I am not going anywhere."

"I don't want you to feel like you're not my family." Jane dismissed. "Having to hide all this makes me feel like you're separate, and you're not."

Maura smiled softly. "Okay."

"Okay."

"I haven't been someone's girlfriend in some time."

Jane blushed. "Well I still have to ask you."

"Oh."

"So you're not yet, technically."

"I see." She reached or her wine glass. "Will you be my girlfriend, Jane?"

Jane pulled her hand away from hers. "Are you serious?"

"I had to corner you at the airport—"

"—You didn't corner me Maura—"

"—Which might I add was not the first time I kissed you and you did not kiss me back."

"Are you talking about when I walked you home from The Robber?"

"Yes. I am referring to that."

"You were drunk, that didn't count."

"I was not drunk!"

"Sure okay."

"Will you be my girlfriend?" The ME asked again, half challenge half declaration.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

Jane grinned. "I wanna ask."

Maura rolled her eyes. "I may not say yes."

"Well this is gonna be the most awkward dinner ever." She reached for her glass of wine as well. "How are you gonna get home?"

Maura huffed. "I'm sure I can find a ride with some beefy firefigh—"

"—That's a low blow, Maura."

Their lobster rolls and shrimp platter finally came out and the duo happily gorged themselves on the fresh seafood. Jane had to cut herself off after her second glass of wine since she would be driving but she let Maura talk her ear off about the third wine she had chosen. As she went on about soil type and topography Jane just watched her lovingly. These had always been her favorite moments. Whether they were in a booth at The Dirty Robber eating burgers on a Tuesday night after work, or whether they were sitting in a restaurant in a little hole in the wall in New York, Maura was her favorite person.

After dinner they walked arms linked toward the pier itself where the night market was in full swing. Set up on the longest pier's winding wooden dock were a slew of house boats turned into miniature artisanal shops and art installations. Maura having had a couple glasses of wine in her at this point was eagerly chatting it up with each merchant about their craft and looking over at Jane with curious eyes as she held up various pieces of art or jewelry. Jane would nod once or shake her had no if she liked the item or not and then Maura would turn back to the vendor and proceed to ask more questions. Jane found a boat with handmade wooden trinkets and brought Maura over to look at the little turtle she had found.

"Kinda looks like Bass." The detective pointed out and watched the ME run a finger along the smooth back shell fondly. George Herman kept her on her toes, but Jane knew it wasn't the same.

"Yes, I can see the resemblance." She looked up at her. "Though, this is a turtle, Jane."

Jane bought the little turtle anyway when Maura got distracted elsewhere, he was small enough to fit in her pocket and on the ME's desk at work which was where Jane planned to leave him one day soon.

Once the business of shopping was complete. The two walked along the outside of the pier and watched the waters as they talked about the market, their time in New York, and the summer season to come. Jane wanted to barbecue immediately and Maura mentioned that there might be one final cold front of spring approaching that would make that a bad idea. They found an ice cream vendor, and each got single scoops of Madagascar vanilla bean latte ice cream before leaning against a vacant part of the pier's industrial railing to watch a nearby freighter as it passed slowly into the night.

"I'll be your girlfriend." Jane finally agreed after a long peaceful moment of silence between the two of them.

Maura looked up from her ice cream. "You will?"

Jane nodded as she lifted her left arm in invitation (the other was overburdened with Maura's shopping and the task of holding her own cone upright) "Yeah."

Maura snuggled into her warm side and smiled at the dark waves. "I will be yours too, whenever it is you decide to ask me." She could feel Jane chuckle against her.

The car ride back to Jane's was a quiet one. As soon as the front door was closed however the two found themselves in a passionate embrace kissing slowly as they tried to take off the other's coats. Once achieved Maura's arms wrapped around Jane's neck as their kiss deepened and she moaned softly at the other woman's hands holding her hips close to her own.

When tasting Maura like this got to be too much and not enough all at once Jane pulled away from the kiss and rested her forehead against the ME's to catch her breath. Maura's hands gently cupped her face as they stared at each other in the dimly lit entryway.

"I want you here." The detective grunted softly.

Maura could feel her legs shake at the mere notion of it. "Here?"

Jane nodded as she bit her bottom lip. "Mhm." Her fingers crept up an inch and gently backed Maura up against the back of her sofa which was only a foot or so away. The idea of waiting to touch her even a minute more to climb her stairs was not one she was willing to entertain. "Here."

They kissed again, this time sloppily as they situated themselves so that Maura was perched on the spine of the sofa with Jane's torso between her legs. It was a bold choice Jane knew, but an honest one. She had never made love to a woman before, but she had also never been this physically aroused in her entire life. It hurt bad and she needed release fast. She knew Maura felt the same but as she ran her fingers along the inner upper thigh of her skirt she gained deliciously slick confirmation. It was raw, quick, and just a tad clumsy but Jane made up for it twice over when they finally made it upstairs.

The next morning after another tossing of the sheets instigated by a battle for the comforter Maura nudged Jane softly with her chin.

"Mm?" Jane rasped. She was exhausted and sticky but so happily ensconced in their afterglow she almost missed the nudge entirely.

"I am dehydrating." Maura's voice was hoarse.

Jane nodded as she summoned the last bit of energy she had to sit up in bed and rub her face. "Okay, babe." She murmured cutely onto the ME's cheek before kissing it.

"Thank you." She closed her eyes but opened them when she felt Jane getting up. "Are you leaving?"

"Water."

She pouted not knowing which she wanted more, water or Jane back in bed.

Jane had already started the task of untangling their limbs though. Judging by the cool blue light streaming into the room and the soft noises of birds chirping she knew it was the early hours of Sunday morning, her cell phone on the nightstand confirmed it was around six thirty in the morning and while she was certain she could sleep until six in the evening she did promise Maura they would go to the nursery and that she would reorganize the shed for her.

It was her first real follow through as a girlfriend, and she intended to start this new layer of their relationship off on a good foot. So she slipped on a pair of plaid black and red pajamas bottoms and a clean undershirt and brought her phone downstairs so that she could look up the nursery times while drinking a few glasses of water herself and brewing a pot of coffee. When she was sure they had the time Jane opened her refrigerator and sighed heavily at herself.

"Nice, Rizzoli." She muttered at its emptiness. While she hadn't forgotten to double back for the flowers she got Maura it had completely slipped her mind to think about breakfast. So she did the best she could with what she had. Maura ate half a pack of gas station doughnuts with her once while deliriously tired after a case, maybe she'd get away with this.

The woman in question smiled from her spot under Jane's thick comforter when she woke to Jane sneaking back into the room with a tray of toast and jam, coffee, water, and what looked like mini previously frozen breakfast sausage patties. Their eyes met while Jane looked for a place to put the tray.

"Hey."

Maura smiled sleepily. "Hello." She let her eyes follow her best friend as she cleared her nightstand of everything (including the lamp) and placed the tray beside the bed there. "Such service." She teased. Jane wore an adorable brow as she fixated on the tray's balance.

"If you'd leave a review we'd greatly appreciate it." She handed her a glass of water from the tray and sat on the edge of the bed while Maura drank. When she was finished she took it back and watched with a little laugh as the blonde sank back into the bed. "You okay?"

"Yes." She reached for Jane's hand blindly.

"Are you going back to sleep?"

Maura yawned and opened her eyes as their fingers laced loosely. "It was my intention." She smiled. "I am tired." Jane's grin was short, an adorable shyness took its place Maura read easily. "You are a very passionate lover, Jane."

She blushed heavily. "Jesus… so it was okay?"

"Yes." She said quickly as they made direct eye contact. "Lovely in every way."

Jane nodded at the confirmation as if she had just been told the Sox won a game she had missed, she was sure it was a possibility but was also pleased to have things go in her favor. "Okay." She watched Maura inhale deeply and for whatever reason the action stirred something in her from last night and earlier that morning. "I think you should just y'know call me anytime you want… it." She wiggled their fingers. "Day or night."

Maura chuckled softly as she tucked an unruly curl behind Jane's back once it was in reach. "On the telephone?"

The detective nodded cutely. "Yeah." She had no idea what she was saying, but Maura amused with kiss swelled lips and tousled blonde hair did something to her, she wanted to make her laugh. "Or you can text me." She added.

The absurdity of it all was making her giggle. "Perhaps I could just kiss you."

"How will I know the difference between a goodbye kiss and a let's do it kiss, Maura?" She played critically. "Also." She put up a finger. "We aren't always together."

The ME pondered it in reality for a moment. "What if I'm aroused at work?" She looked up at her from her pillow.

Jane made a face. "Around the dead bodies, Maura?"

The ME rolled her eyes. "Not during an autopsy, but when I am doing another task, science."

"Science turns you on?"

Maura shifted. "At times."

"Wow." The blonde raised a brow at her that made her chuckle. "Okay." She nodded in thought of the scenario. "If that happens then you can just text me the word science."

"Science?"

"Mhm." Jane let her knee nudge her hip above the covers. "I'll y'know drop everything."

Maura rolled her eyes. "Will you now?" Jane at work on a case was harder to reach than the pope. You could be standing six feet away from her and she'd still not know you existed if she was on to something.

"For you."

"For sex."

"What's the difference?" She asked wistfully.

Maura laughed and nudged her knee back with her own. "Will you come back to bed now?"

Jane nodded immediately understanding what that meant. She pulled her shirt over her head and got more comfortable under the blanket with her girlfriend, and they cuddled for some time before both drinking coffee and eating toast in bed. Jane dared Maura to try a mini sausage and after some coaxing the ME took a polite nibble but finished two entirely by the time they agreed to get up. She brought their dishes downstairs while Maura showered and then made herself another cup of coffee as waited for her turn.

"Jane?" Maura called from the shower. She could hear the other woman bounding up the stairs.

Jane poked her head in the steamy room seconds later. "Science?"

Maura simply smiled at her. "I don't have any clothes here, I'm afraid."

Jane frowned. "Don't you have some dry cleaning in the guest room closet?"

"Those are work dresses."

"They can't be Sunday dresses?"

"No."

Jane waited for a solution to present itself but when it didn't, she shrugged. "You can wear something of mine?" Maura just stared at her a moment and Jane rolled her eyes. "Or we can just go shopping." She joked.

Maura turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and Jane for all her best intentions could not look away.

"We could." Maura offered knowing full well it never took her this long to wrap her towel around her body after a shower. She tilted her head and laughed breathlessly as Jane's features changed. "We have to leave eventually Jane." She warned sweetly as the other woman gently kicked the bathroom door closed behind her.

"We will." They kissed softly. "I promise." Another kiss." We'll go…" Maura's firm nipples pressing against her caused a soft rumble in her to escape and her voice to thicken. "We'll go shopping."

They never did make it though.

AN: Thank you for all the kind words and check ins. Let's just say I hibernated in another fandom for a little, adulted a little after that, and then had to reread my own story to make sure I still had it Lol Hope you're all very well. Looking forward reading your reviews.

KathleenDee