Disclaimers I own nothing that has to do with Gravity Falls or any other cartoon promotions.

Next Morning: Miami, Florida

Giffany's car is driving across a bridge.

Outside: The Mandarin's Mansion

An overview of The Mandarin's mansion and security all around the place.

Dipper's up on a tree. He looks through his binoculars at the security guard at the gate with a German Shepherd guard dog on a leash and another guard by the stairs. Dipper lowers his binoculars.

Dipper runs and jumps up an unguarded wall, grunting as he pushes himself up and drops below, landing on his feet, staying low to be unseen.

Dipper slowly goes up some stairs and stops when he sees guard 1. He quickly spins a thin rope in his hands, whips it, and it wraps around guard 1's right ankle. Dipper yanks it, making guard 1 groan as he falls down the stairs.

Guard 2 turns around, and Dipper stands up and shoots at guard 2's neck with his makeshift gun. Guard 2 grunts as he grabs his neck and tries to go for his gun, but Dipper quickly goes up and grabs his arm, then knees him in the gut. Guard 2 screams in pain.

Dipper quickly turns around and blocks guard 3's hit, quickly powering up his device and tasering him in the chest. The crackling sound is heard as the man groans in pain while Dipper lowers him down, pulling away, leaving the guard unconscious.

Fountain Area

Guards 4 and 5 stand around an old fountain. Suddenly a blue Christmas decoration ball rolls toward them. They both look at it, and guard 4 picks it up, looking at it confused before it explodes in his face, making him cry as he falls.

Now alerted, guard 5 quickly grabs his gun and turns, only to be shot a few times by Dipper. Guard 5 grunts as he falls into the fountain.

Dipper casually drops a red Christmas decoration ball in the fountain by guard 5's head. It explodes a second later as Dipper throws the makeshift gun away.

Inside: Mansion

Dipper walks inside, looking around cautiously before stepping into the living room to see a girl pass out on a ping-pong table and the room in a mess. Dipper looks around, frustrated.

Another Room

A high/drugged blonde girl lying on a couch, complaining, "Why is it so hot in here? I told you to put it at 68." She tells guard 6 as he cleans his gun on the table in front of her.

Guard 6 scoffs, "My fault again." He tells the blonde sternly, "Let me tell you something, sweetheart. I am not your personal air con-" He gets cut off by Dipper, shocking him with the wired glove he made. Guard 6 drops on the table. Dipper then grabs his gun.

The high/drugged blonde girl holds her hand out like a gun, aiming at Dipper, moves her thumb down, and mimics a gunshot. Dipper slowly backs away, putting his glove finger to his lips, silently telling her to stay quiet. She chuckles and nods as she points at him, very drugged.

Inside: Studio Room

Dipper opens a set of doors, aiming his gun around as he cautiously walks into the room. He takes the glove off with his mouth, moving forward to see TV and laptop screens of The Mandarin's latest footage on the screen.

Dipper continues to move forward in the room to see props, sets, equipment, machines, and guns all around the area. Dipper gets closer to a closed-off area. He takes off his see-through sunglasses; he walks in to see a bed.

The bed is lumpy as two people are in it under the comforter. Dipper gets closer, aiming his gun and glaring at the bed, thinking the Mandarin is there. Dipper rounds the bed before quickly pulling down the comforter to two women gasping as they sit up, alarmed by the sudden interruption.

Dipper breathes out, shocked and surprised by the girls, really hoping it was The Mandarin. He holds his hand out to calm them while shushing to be quiet.

Suddenly, a sound of a toilet flushing. Dipper quickly turns around and aims his gun at the source of the sound as he walks back to hide behind the bed frame.

A man with a British accent says, "Well." The girls get comfortable again in the bed as the man comes out of the bathroom, revealing him to be the one with a British accent and to be 'The Mandarin', he tells the girls as he waves his robe back and forth to rid a nasty smell, "I wouldn't go in there for 20 minutes." He laughs at himself. He then asks the girls as he walks over to his side table, "Now, which one of you is Vanessa?"

The brunette farthest from 'The Mandarin', says, "That's me."

'The Mandarin' looks over, "Ah!" He grabs a fortune cookie, "Nessie." He throws her a cookie, and she successfully catches it. He tells them, "Did you know that fortune cookies aren't even Chinese?" Dipper pops his head out to look at the man confusingly.

The brunette closest to 'The Mandarin' points behind her, where Dipper is, "There's some guy over here." The man doesn't know what she said.

'The Mandarin' continues explaining, "They're made by Americans, based on a Japanese recipe."

Dipper comes out of his hiding place and points his gun at 'The Mandarin'. He shouts to grab his attention, "Hey!"

'The Mandarin' straightens up and holds his hands up in surrender, looking around before looking at Dipper, "Bloody hell. Bloody hell."

Dipper tells 'The Mandarin', "Don't move."

'The Mandarin' responds, "I'm not moving. Do you want something? Take it." He gestures with his right hand to the side, where all the stuff is. 'The Mandarin' tells Dipper, "Although the guns are all fake because those wankers wouldn't trust me with the real ones."

Dipper narrows his eyes in confusion, "What?"

'The Mandarin' leans closer, asking Dipper, "Hey, do you fancy either of the birds?" He looks at the girls. Dipper looks at him weirdly while the girls look taken back.

Dipper states, "Heard enough. You're not him. The Mandarin, the real guy." He cocks his gun, pointing it at the guy, "Where?" The man flinches, "Where's the Mandarin?" The guy shrinks and runs to a leather chair with Dipper stepping towards him, gun still aimed, "Where is he?"

'The Mandarin' sits and says quickly and calmly, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. The man is here. He's here, but he's not here. He's here, but he's not here."

Dipper asks the guy, "What do you mean?"

'The Mandarin' tells Dipper, "It's complicated." He says loudly as he points at Dipper, "Hey, it's complicated."

Dipper exclaims, "It is."

'The Mandarin' repeats, "It's complicated."

Dipper exclaims, "Uncomplicate it." He looks at the girls, "Ladies, out." One girl nods and takes off the covers as Dipper demands, "Get out of bed. Get into the bathroom." The girls move out of bed and head towards the bathroom as Dipper continues to aim his gun at the man, "Sit."

As the girls walk into the bathroom, disgusted by the smell 'The Mandarin' left behind, the first woman exclaims, "Ew!"

The second woman was disgusted, "Oh, Jesus." As the door closes, 'The Mandarin' quietly slips out of his leather chair and starts crawling away.

Dipper looks back at 'The Mandarin' and shoots the floor in front of 'The Mandarin', making him flinch, and he shrieks in fear while one of the girls screams in the bathroom.

'The Mandarin' crawls back in his chair and introduces himself calmly, "My name is Fiddleford. Fiddleford McGucket."

Dipper demands as he walks closer to Fiddleford, "What are you?" He stands a few feet in front of Fiddleford, "What are you, a decoy? You're double, right?"

Fiddleford asks Dipper, offended, "What, you mean like an understudy? No, absolutely not." Dipper aims his gun at him. Fiddleford flinches, "Don't hurt the face! I'm an actor."

Dipper stares at Fiddleford, demanding, "You got a minute to live. Fill it with words."

Fiddleford tells Dipper, "It's just a role." He deepens his voice, "'The Mandarin.'" Fiddleford shrugs as he tells Dipper in his normal accent, "See, it's not real."

Dipper sidewalks to Fiddleford's left and looks around cautiously as Fiddleford gets comfortable in his seat, "Then how did you get here, Fiddleford?"

Fiddleford stutters as he explains, "Well, I had a little problem with, um, substances. And I ended up doing things, no two ways about it, in the street, that a man shouldn't do."

Dipper demands impatiently, "Next?"

Fiddleford continues as he gestures to himself, "Then, they approached me about the role, and they knew about the drugs."

Dipper questions, "What did they say? They'd get you off them?"

Fiddleford answers as he corrects Dipper, "They said they'd give me more. They gave me things. They gave me this place. They gave me plastic surgery. They gave me things." He suddenly falls asleep and starts snoring.

Dipper asks Fiddleford's sleeping figure, "Did you just nod off?" Dipper kicks his foot, "Hey."

Fiddleford immediately wakes up and continues explaining like he wasn't asleep 5 seconds ago, "No, and a lovely speedboat. And the thing was, he needed someone to take credit for some accidental explosions." He mimics the sound of an explosion with the movement of his hands.

Dipper questions, "He?" He looks away as he figures out who, "Bill?" He looks back at Fiddleford.

Fiddleford repeats as he answers, "Bill."

Dipper questions again, "He created you?"

Fiddleford smiles, drugged, as he answers and repeats, "He created me."

Dipper lowers his weapons and steps back, "Custom-made terror threat."

Fiddleford points at Dipper happily, "Yes." He gets up, "Yes." He goes to his side table, "His think tank thought it up." He talks like 'The Mandarin', "The pathology of a serial killer. The manipulation of Western iconography. Ready for another lesson?" He opens a beer can as he talks in his normal accent, "Blah, blah, blah." He offers the beer to Dipper, who sits down as the information he just learned sinks in.

Dipper shakes his head and waves his hand, "No."

Fiddleford puts the beer can down as he continues explaining, "Of course, it was my performance that brought the Mandarin to life."

Dipper repeats questionably, "Your performance?" Fiddleford looks at him, "Where the people died?"

Fiddleford shakes his head, "No, they didn't." He looks around, "Look around you." He gestures around the area with his arms, "The costumes, green screen. Honestly, I wasn't on location for half this stuff. And when I was, it was movie magic, love." He wiggles his fingers for an extra spark.

Dipper stands up, facing Fiddleford, "I'm sorry, but I have a best friend who's in a coma, and he might not wake up." He points at Fiddleford, "So you're gonna have to answer for that." Suddenly, Giffany stands behind Dipper, "You're still going down, pal. You under-" Dipper cuts himself off when he realizes someone's behind him, and Fiddleford gestures behind Dipper with his eyes quickly.

Dipper quickly turns as he raises his gun, but Giffany grabs his wrist, stopping him, then quickly punches Dipper in the face. Dipper grunts feeling the impact. Giffany pushes him to the side. Dipper falls on the leather chair unconscious.

Giffany looks at Fiddleford questionably, "Okay, Fiddleford, what did you tell him?"

Fiddleford lies, "I didn't tell him anything."

Giffany questions, "Nothing?"

Fiddleford looks to the side as he thinks before looking at Giffany with a smile, shaking his head once, lying again, "No."

Giffany tells Fiddleford, "You should have pressed the panic button."

Fiddleford responds, "Well, I panicked, but then I handled it." He opens his beer can, then walks away.