Short 2k words omake. Just a joke based on some reviewers who suggested team RWBY could fight the Brother Gods after Salem despite canon proving how bad of an idea that is.

Choice omake is tied between team GENDERBEND and team HENCHGIRL with Project Maiden just one vote behind both. Might do Zettai RWBY Teenagers first since people expressed interest in that. Or that White Knight omake where Weiss is a different brand of delusion similar to Blake.

Team RWBY-J thought that Salem was the worst they had to deal with. She was the monster, the boogeyman, the Big Bad to end all villains. They'd trained, and trained, and trained to fight her, and even after Ozpin revealed her immortality they refused to give up. Remnant was worth fighting for and they didn't have to kill her in order to beat her. After all, there were fates worse than death.

And against all odds, they'd won. It had taken meticulous planning and the usage of both the Relics of Knowledge and Creation, but they'd found a way to seal Salem and thrown said seal into the darkness of space where she could never return. They'd done it. They saved Remnant.

...Or so they thought.

Turned out the Brother Gods really didn't like their punishment being loopholed out. It'd barely been a day after Salem was chucked into space when they returned to Remnant and proclaimed that judgement would come to them for daring to defy their will.

And it would start with team RWBY-J.

Despite the hopelessness of the situation, and Ozpin himself going catatonic from the pressure of it all, the five of them refused to give up. The Brother Gods hadn't just destroyed Remnant with a snap of their fingers, so clearly something was going on. Either way they figured that if they were going to die then then they were going to die fighting and spitting in the face of the Gods.

And then team RWBY killed the Gods.

...

Yeah, no, he had no idea how that worked either. He didn't even think gods could be killed, but here they were. Oh, and apparently the divinity ran on RPG rules cause after the four of them inherited the powers, the whole team went from Maidens to Goddesses in one swoop. He'd been exempt, presumably because he stayed far away from the actual fighting outside of pumping them with as much Aura as his Semblance would allow.

...

It was that kind of day.

"Woah, this feels super weird!" Ruby said, voice echoing, and looked down at her semi-tranluscent hands. All of them were semi-transculent with Ruby being red, Yang yellow, Weiss light blue, and Blake purple. Living Aura, if you wanted to be more specific. It was weird. Their silhouettes were still recognizable, at least, even if they were technically naked outside of Ruby still having an ethereal cloak.

"Are...you guys okay?" Jaune asked warily. The area around them was a barren wasteland, which was to be expected considering it was a literal godly battlefield just a few minutes ago. Thank the goddesses there were no civilians around.

...

Did he just thank team RWBY in his head?

"Feels weird, likes Rubes said." Yang twisted her right arm experimentally. Instead of creaking bones there was the sound of wind chimes. Freaky, "It's like when I first got the Maiden powers at the beach but a million times stronger. And I know I should be freaking out about it, but I'm not."

"I assume it's due to our new nature." Weiss put a hand on her chin. Jaune was still trying to get past the idea that he was literally having a conversation with deities right now, "Even as the Maidens, we were all still mortal. Divinity is another thing entirely and I assume that our minds were altered ta least to the extent that we wouldn't be driven insane from it all."

"That's not good!" Ruby cried, "I don't wanna be altered! I wanna stay Ruby!"

"Uh...feels like it's a bit late for that, sis." Yang crossed her arms and looked over to the oddly silent Blake. She hadn't said a word since their...ascension, he guessed? "Yo, Blakey, what's with the silent treatment? Cat got your tongue?" Yang grinned, which was sort of weird looking consdering she was half transparent.

"Just considering the powers we have at our fingertips. You've heard stories of what the Brothers could do, and now we have all of what they had." Her transluscent Faunus ears twitched, "Don't you see? We can end inequality with a snap of our fingers!"

Weiss nodded, "That is something to consider, though how would we-"

"By turning everyone into Faunus!"

An awkward silence settled over the four goddesses and one mortal. It was so awkward, in fact, that a tumbleweed came out of nowhere to pass by just to accentuate it. And then Jaune broke down laughing because the idea was so stupid, so short-sighted, so Blake that the idea of his friends being forever altered had immediately left his mind.

"What's so funny?!" Blake protested, the ground shaking in response. Well, that was a bit scary, "It's a good idea! There can't be any racism if everyone's the same race! It's foolproof!"

"By that logic, we could also turn all the Faunus into Humans. That should also solve the problem, shouldn't it?" Weiss challenged.

Blake gasped and took a step back, "You'd make the Faunus go extinct?! I thought you were better than that, Weiss!"

"...I rest my case." Weiss sighed, "Ruby, are you alright?"

"Yeah, just...lemme try something."

Ruby clapped her hands and then Summer Rose was just...there. Literally, one second there was empty space and the next it wasn't. Jaune recognized her immediately from the pictures the family had in their Patch cottage.

"Wait, what? What's going on?" The poor woman looked around in confusion, "I...I'm alive? Shouldn't I be-"

"Hey, mom!" Ruby cut in cheerfully, "It's kind of a long story, but the short version is me and my friends became the Maidens, Jaune became part of our team, and then we had these crazy adventures. Then we killed Salem and the Gods." The elder Rose looked like she was about to have a heart attack, "But, uh, we'll talk about that later! I'll just teleport you to where dad and Uncle Qrow are. See ya in a bit."

"Wait, hold-"

Another clap and she was gone.

"...Ruby, did you just resurrect mom?" Yang asked after a pause.

"Yeah? I mean we know from Ozpin that the Gods could do that, they were just big jerks about it." Ruby paused, "Huh, I should probably de-age dad and Uncle Qrow by ten years so things don't get awkward. I'll ask them about it later."

"...Huh." Yang clapped her hands and Raven Branwen popped up to her biological daughter's left, "Sup, egg donor?"

"What the fuck?! I'm supposed to be-"

"Dead? Yeah, yeah, and you have any idea how pissed I was about that? Ten years searching for your deadbeat ass and you get killed by someone else." Yang shook her head, "Whatever, I didn't come here for a happy reunion. You're spending the rest of your life in jail for all the innocent people you killed...and for being a massive bitch. Enjoy the next forty years."

"Wait-"

Another clap and she was gone, likely in a supermax prison.

"...Yang, did you seriously just resurrect your biological mom because you wanted to put her in prison?" Jaune sighed.

"Hey, dying quick was better than she deserved." Yang scoffed.

Blake snapped her fingers and Adam Taurus came back. Jaune didn't get the chance to ask Blake what the fuck she was thinking with that before she snapped her fingers again and Adam was suddenly engulfed in flames. He died slowly and painfully.

"...What?" Blake asked defensively when she noticed all of them staring, "Don't act like you feel sorry for him."

"Just feels kinda messed up that you brought him back to life just to kill him again," Jaune pointed out. He hated Adam Taurus, but killing him kinda made them even.

"Ugh, we should clean this place up. Hold on." Weiss also snapped her fingers and the wasteland around them was replaced by a forest straight out of a painting of paradise. Okay, all this casual breaking of the rules of reality was giving him a headache "Much better. Now, before we do anything else I think we can all agree that there's something that should be done first: the Grimm need to be eliminated completely. Given that we inherited the powers of the Gods, we can do that now."

The others gave their agreements and Jaune heard millions of growls cry out in terror before they were suddenly silenced.

"So...all the Grimm are dead?" Jaune asked.

"Yup!" Ruby said, popping the P, "Which means the Huntsmen are gonna have to do something else, huh? Dang, really didn't think about that."

His scroll rang Made sense; everyone else's stuff basically got vaporized. He answered the video call, "Hello?"

"Arc," General Ironwood greeted stiffly. From behind him he caught sight of a still frazzled Ozpin, "Judging by your continued existence I assume that the gods decided to forgive us or, failing that, imposed another test?"

"Uh...not exactly." He turned the scroll around so it faced team RWBY, all of whom waved with varying degrees of enthusiasm, "Team RWBY kill the Gods...and I guess they're the Gods now? Not really sure how this works."

"...What?" General Ironwood blinked. Ozpin let out a broken little laugh.

"Yeah. Again, don't really know how it works." Jaune shrugged, "Oh, and they killed all the Grimm, so that's good news. Right?"

"...What?"

"But just because the Grimm are gone doesn't mean you can go to war again or something!" Ruby cut in, "We beat Salem and the Gods are gone, so it's finally time for everyone to start working together already! No more fighting!"

General Ironwood fainted. Ozpin's laughter turned into tears of joy and he mumbled something about 'finally being allowed to die' before the call also cut out. Why did he get the feeling Ozpin was gonna be hanging from a rope when they got back?

"So...what now?" Yang asked, "Like I know we're goddesses and all, but we didn't exactly plan for this."

"My Faunus 2.0 plan is still on the table," Blake said.

"Alright, how about we establish that we won't commit genocide or stripping people of their free will." Weiss looked at Blake flatly.

"Yeah! I know it's super tempting to just do whatever we want, but we have to be better than those jerks!" Ruby shouted.

"Ruby, you, Blake, and Yang have already brought people back from the dead without their consent. Just putting that out there," Jaune said. Yes, he was well aware he was snarking at someone who could obliterate him into space dust with a thought. No, he wasn't scared. Chalk that up to living with team RWBY for the past couple of years. Stuff like that tended to numb you.

"By the way, since we're the Gods now, that means we can take Salem out of that jar and make her not immortal anymore. Should we do that?" Ruby asked.

...

"Nah, she can stay up there for a bit," Yang said, "I mean we'll do it eventually, but she did kill like thousands if not millions of people. I think she deserves a time out. But still, we've definitely gotta do something useful with this stuff. Be a waste if we got Ultimate Power and we just sit on our asses." Yang looked up, "Oh, how about we make it so that Vacuo isn't such a shithole!"

"Menagerie could definitely use help like that too," Blake added, "And I'm sure we can do something about the horrific labor practices the Faunus are forced into."

"Ooh, we can also grab all the bandits in Mistral and teleport them to jail like Yang did to her not-mom!" Ruby cheered.

"I'd advise we talk to what governments those places have before enacting such widespread change. This will only work if we limit the imposition of our will among the people," Weiss replied, "But it is a good place to start. Jaune, would you do us the honor of being our official herald? I know it's asking a lot, but showing up in our current state might only incite a panic.

"Sure." Jaune shrugged. First he was team RWBY's babysitter, then their Magic/Aura battery, and now he was the mouthpiece of deities. Anyone else would've gone insane by the things he'd gone through.

But, Jaune thought as he watched Blake resurrect Adam again and dunk him into pit of lava filled with sharks, he'd given up on sense and logic a long time ago.

Yeah. Similar to The Worst Timeline short, this one is even more crack-y than my usual works. Also can't really go anywhere since team RWBY has literally broken the power scale of the universe. Unless Ironwood goes full Mettle and tries to make the literal deities work for him or Cinder still thinks that she can somehow scrape a win, I'm pretty sure Remnant is good for this universe.

Then again you just know the team's gonna do stupid shit like Ruby making cookies rain from the sky or Blake sneakily trying to commit technical genocide while the others aren't looking. Poor Jaune's workload has just increased, and being the official herald means everyone has to go through him to make requests.

Questions:

1. Just wondering, but which RWBY girl do you guys like the least for this fic? I don't mean in a Jaune pairing sense, but rather in general. Like I know we joke that Blake is Worst Girl but I'm pretty sure readers actually like her more than the others because of it.

2. Conversely, would you guys have read the story or preferred it more if Jaune was on equal grounds with the Maidens such as having magic of his own rather than the normal guy forced to try to keep the demigods from blowing everything up? Kinda like the Jaune in Reverse RWBY.