A/N: A few days ago was Hermione's birthday! It's odd to think that she'd be 42… It makes me feel old.
Wooo it's the 20 chapter mark!
Chapter 20 – Pushing Luck
"Are you ready to spend detention with Mary?" asked Remus with a smirk.
The four boys were walking out of the Great Hall after dinner. Knowing he was in for a long night with Professor McGonagall, Sirius had smuggled food out with him and was carrying it in him. Remus had a feeling that Professor McGonagall would not be pleased with him bringing food into her classroom.
"I can handle Macdonald," said Sirius. He pursed his lips as he thought of something. "But I will say, I wasn't a fan of the way Mulciber looked at her earlier. She may be a pain in the ass and fun to tease but the look in her eyes when she saw him in the courtyard wasn't funny at all. Even I could see that from where we were standing."
"That's because he's a creepy git," said James and Remus agreed wholeheartedly.
"You can say that again. He'll get his someday… I'll make sure of that," Sirius said darkly, then paused for a moment. "Still, I wish she wasn't going to be in detention with us," he sighed.
"If Mary is there then we can't even use the mirrors," said Peter sadly.
"But those only work if the professor leaves the room. Professor McGonagall is likely to stay there and watch over," said Remus.
"That's true," said Peter with a sigh. "If only we had detention with Slughorn. He'd definitely leave the room and we could do whatever we wanted."
"I mean, it is just McGonagall. I'm sure you'll only have to write lines. I bet it won't be too bad," said James
"Maybe she'll let you both start on your Transfiguration essays?" suggested Remus, hoping they would actually start their work on their own. That was going to be his plans for the night, and he wouldn't be looking forward to Sirius pestering him and Hermione for help the night before it was due.
"I don't want to start the ruddy essay," moaned Sirius. He took a large bite out of a chicken leg he had smuggled out of the Great Hall and moped.
"Then maybe you shouldn't attack people with birds in class," said Remus looking at him chewing with slight disgust.
"Oi, why is everyone only lecturing me? Wormtail did the same thing!" he said with a mouthful.
"Only to defend himself after you attacked him," said James with a laugh.
"Exactly!" said Peter. "I wouldn't have even thought to do that until you did it first."
Sirius shook his head. "Now you're all starting to sound like Hermione when she blamed me for Macdonald getting detention too."
"If you hadn't—"
"I know, Moony, I know," said Sirius, sounding irritated. "If I hadn't fallen asleep or conjured the birds… But she's the one who whipped out that camera. I didn't make her do it, especially after McGonagall warned her."
"Okay, that's true," said Remus with a faint smile. "She made the choice to do that."
"Thank you!"
When they reached the Grand Staircase, the boys bid each other farewell as they parted ways. Remus and James made their way back to their dormitory. Immediately, James dumped his bag at the foot of his bed and plopped down onto the mattress, reaching for something in his bedside drawer.
"Do you think they're having fun in detention?" asked James as he rummaged.
Remus could hear the smile in James's voice as he sat down on his own bed and placed his school bag beside him. James seemed to find what he was looking for and he grinned wildly before falling backwards onto his mattress. James made himself comfortable as his arm lay behind his head as he stretched out upside down on his bed.
Whatever James had grabbed flashed slightly in his hand and Remus watched as James tossed the golden snitch he had stolen at the beginning of the year into the air. It began floating around slightly above his face and James's eyes followed it with amusement as it buzzed in small circles.
"Doubtful. It is too bad about the mirror. But even if Professor McGonagall did leave the room, they still wouldn't be able to use them with Mary there," said Remus as he began searching through his bag for his Transfigurations notes.
He had promised Hermione they'd work on that essay, and once she was done at dinner with Lily and the Hufflepuffs she was supposed to meet them there.
"And Padfoot was upset because Mary would be there," laughed James, not taking his eyes off of the snitch.
"I think they'll bicker until the day we die," sighed Remus as he began pulling out his notebook.
"Quality banter between the two of them though. Never a dull moment," said James with a smirk. Slowly, the smile faded and he turned his head to look at Remus. "But Sirius was right. The way Mulciber looked at her earlier was pretty scary. Mulciber is such a creepy git," James repeated again like he had on the way back to the common room, but there was a deeper disgust in his voice as he looked back up at the snitch.
"I didn't see Sirius's face after that but I did see Mulciber and the way he looked at her. She seemed terrified with the way she clung to Lily," said Remus with a frown as he started laying out new parchment for his essay.
Both Mulciber and Avery gave him a very unsettling feeling, and there was no doubt in his mind they would take the first opportunity presented to them to become Death Eaters, most-likely Snape as well. His stomach sunk at the thought. He only hoped for Sirius's sake that Regulus did not follow in their footsteps. Sirius may give Regulus a hard time for his choices and the company he kept, but Remus was sure deep down he still cared for his little brother.
"Can't say I blame him for wanting to hex the lot," said James coolly. "And while I'm glad I held him back, if they did do anything to Mary again… or anyone, I don't think I'd be able to stop myself."
James didn't have to say what he'd stop himself from doing, but he didn't have to. Remus's mind slipped back to last year and the night they found out that Mulciber had cursed Mary in the corridor. It had been so horrible seeing her like that in the Hospital Wing. If either Mulciber or Avery tried something like that again, Remus didn't think there was anything he wouldn't do to stop it. He thought about if it had Hermione and he felt himself clench the piece of parchment in his hand, hearing it crumple. "I don't think I'd try to stop you."
A silence hung in the air as James continued to watch the snitch. Remus looked down at the piece of parchment in his fist and freed it. He placed it down on his bed and did his best to smooth out the wrinkles.
James's eyes continued to follow the snitch and suddenly, in a flash, he thrust his arm forward and grabbed it with a quick movement. He let out a joyful "Aha!" and he looked up at his hand holding the small ball that he held above his face.
"But, honestly, the two of them should just snog and get it out of their systems," said James with a cheeky grin, trying to lighten the mood. He released the snitch and its wings fluttered to life and began to buzz around the room again.
Remus looked up from his notes and grinned back at James. "Do you think that's it then? That they'll end up together some day?"
"I think it's less of wanting to date if you know what I mean," James said as he turned his head to look at Remus with a grin. "And if it was, they're both too bloody proud to admit it at this point. I do think they drive each other mad in more than one way though."
"Definitely at least one way," said Remus with a smirk as he thought back to the many disgusted glares Mary had directed towards Sirius over the years. A part of him couldn't possibly see Mary giving him the time of day. For some reason the thought amused him and he couldn't help grinning to himself.
"You know, Moony," started James after another moment of silence. He sat up from the bed and turning his body to face him. "This is nice. I can't remember the last time it was just the two of us. We normally don't have time to ourselves."
The statement touched Remus more than he would have expected, and he felt a deep rush of fondness towards James. It really had been so long when it was just the two of them.
"Thanks, Prongs. This is nice," he said through the lump in his throat, smiling widely.
James grinned at him. "But speaking of people snogging…"
The comment threw Remus off to much that it felt like he had just experienced whiplash.
"Uh… Sorry, James, you're not really my type…"
James burst out laughing as Remus tried to figure out what was going on.
"Don't worry, mate," James said as he continued to laugh, a sparkle in his eye. "You aren't mine either."
"You had me worried for a second," said Remus, feeling himself also begin to laugh. They both sat there and laughed for a while, each of their amusement building off of each other.
"What I had actually meant was Hermione," said James when he had finally calmed down, wiping his eyes behind his glasses.
That immediately sobered Remus, halting his laughter. Hermione? Snogging? What did James mean? Who was he implying Hermione should snog? He couldn't help the small bit of jealousy at the idea of Hermione snogging anyone. James certainly couldn't mean himself; he was still hoping for Lily… right?
"Oh, I thought it was rather obvious," he said, raising his eyebrow slightly at Remus.
"What's obvious?" said Remus, hollowly, anticipating James's next words.
"That you're in love with her."
Remus balked at his statement, searching James's hazel eyes for a hint of joking. It wasn't a question, and Remus rarely heard James speak with such certainty without a hint of overconfidence or an ounce of teasing. It wasn't the first time he or Sirius had brought the topic up, but it was the first time Remus thought James truly meant it.
"I- I'm sorry?" stuttered out Remus.
"You're in love with Hermione," repeated James, the small smile spreading wider across face. "And I know we've joked about it, and that we make innuendos about the two of you because you've gotten close… I've always thought just maybe you had a small crush on her, but blimey— The way you look at her… I've never seen anything quite like it."
Remus just stared at a loss for words and James smiled again. One thing was for sure, Remus was very glad Sirius and Peter were not in the room, and that Hermione had still not arrived from dinner. He had to admit there was a slight relief that he felt. As much as he did not want to be having this chat, knowing James hadn't been saying Hermione should be with someone else did make him feel slightly better.
"You can barely keep your eyes off of her, mate," James continued. "You should have seen yourself all day. In class… especially in the courtyard… You light up like a bloody Christmas tree when you spot her. You love her."
There were no words that Remus could form in that moment. His brain had kicked into overdrive and was racing through a million thoughts at once. His mouth felt dry and part of him wanted to flee the room.
James seemed to notice the change in his demeanor. He grinned apologetically, holding his hands up in front of him.
"I won't force it out of you," James continued. "I just thought I'd say that I think you should take a chance if you like her that much. But don't worry, I wont say anything. This can stay between us."
Remus nodded automatically, feeling slightly appeased by James not pressing the matter.
"I – er – don't really know what to say," he muttered truthfully, and James nodded understandingly.
"You don't have to say anything, just think about it. I just want you to be happy."
There was more silence and Remus made himself busy, rearranging his notes in front of him. If not, his own mind would surely have driven him mad.
It wasn't long after their conversation had dropped that Hermione had knocked on their dormitory door, having arrived to work on their essay with the two of them. James had to let her in when Remus had just sat numbly on his bed refusing to move. James told her she could sit on any of the empty beds while Sirius and Peter were gone. It was no surprise that she chose Sirius's over Peter's, but Remus wished she had chosen Peter's, as it was farther away from where he was.
What James had said to him really threw him and he found it hard to look directly at her. He had become immediately self-conscious. It was lucky they were all working on the essay, he could continue to look down at his notes and parchment without seeming rude.
Remus found himself struggling to concentrate. It was all James's fault. James seemed to realize this too because he was constantly sending Remus knowing looks whenever Hermione wasn't paying attention to them. If she went into her bag or was nose deep in her textbook, James would start pointing at her and wiggling his eyebrows. It took all of his self-control for Remus to not blush violently whenever he did that.
Remus wanted to smack him.
The night seemed to drag on and on. Remus was too hyperaware of every movement he made as well as Hermione's which made it impossible to relax. It was torture. He could only hope that Hermione was too engrossed in the essay to have noticed. He desperately wished Sirius and Peter would return to act as a distraction, but Professor McGonagall must have been really upset with them and was keeping them late. By the time they had finished for the night, Hermione luckily gave no tell that she had noticed anything strange as she bid them goodnight.
Later that evening when he lay in his bed, Remus struggled to sleep. Instead, he just stared up at the dark outline of the canopy on his four-poster bed, thinking about what James had said.
There was no denying he had grown attached to her, he would be kidding himself if he said he never considered the possibilities… He'd kept those feeling to himself, even after he realized how much he wanted to kiss her earlier that month. A crush was one thing, but love was another. He had never been in love before, he wasn't sure how it was supposed to feel. When did someone know if their feelings for someone became strong enough to be considered love?
There was no helping the memories that began to flood his mind as he thought back to specific moments of Hermione. He recalled the very first time he saw her that first night of the school year when she had stood outside of the Common Room confused on why she could no longer get in and the way her brows furrowed and her lips pursed in annoyance. He had been so confused and intrigued by the strange girl, who only proved to be stranger the longer he knew her.
She was so secretive while somehow still being an open book who wore her heart on her sleeve and always spoke her mind. Her unusual love for books and learning amused him, and how she would rather take notes during a Quidditch match to bring to him rather than enjoy the game herself. Quidditch certainly wasn't her thing, but notes and reading them out to him or sneaking away to dark classrooms together at night to study definitely seemed to be.
Hadn't his heart sped up every time she squeezed her way beside him on the couch in the common room? How her weight next to him relaxed him? Then there was the night she cried into his shoulder on her birthday when she was homesick in the library. He just held her for a while, thinking about just how right it felt and how he was honored that this secretive girl had trusted him enough to open up to him.
He seemed to notice everything about her, like how eagerly she would throw her hand into the air in class and her brown eyes would go wide and bright with excitement. How she would try her best to hide her delight when she'd blush from the praise she got from professors. She'd try to seem humble, but it was clear she'd still be bursting with pride. Her excitement had always been so infectious to him.
Not to mention how much he admired her for her bravery. And she was brave, braver than he was. There had been that fire in her eyes down by the lake when she had stuck up for Severus and told them off. It must have been difficult to stand up against them, especially for someone she didn't even like, but she did it anyway because she had believed it was the right thing to do. Just like when she had ranted about the mistreatment of house elves during the Christmas party. The thought of how animated she had been as she preached at him, James, and Lily brought a smile to his face.
The Christmas party had really been the turning point when he could no longer deny his feelings had grown. When she had walked down the stairs in the Gryffindor Common Room every so cautiously in her scarlet dress robes and shiny done-up hair, she had looked like the most beautiful creature in the world. The way she had told him at that party that she had wanted him to go with her because he was her closest friend, it had tugged at his heart. He had felt sad and jealous, wishing she had gotten to him before Lily. How he felt was only stronger that next morning when she had looked even more beautiful in her normal clothes and bushy hair as she carried her schoolbag over her shoulder overflowing with books, just looking like herself, like their Hermione. The Hermione he had grown so fond of.
He thought about how he desperately missed her the entire Christmas holiday and the ecstatic look on her face in the Great Hall when she first saw him when he had come back from break. How he felt miserable every time he was away from her for long stretches of time and how it seemed to vanish whenever she walked into a room.
Finally, he saw the scared look in her eyes as she waited for his reaction when he realized she knew his deepest darkest most horrifying secret, and the look of distraught he had quickly seen as he had turned and ran. But the image blurred and morphed into the memory of the way her face had been illuminated by the fire as her eyes sparkled with care as they sat together on the couch in the Room of Requirements. He had never felt so seen or accepted more than in that moment his entire life. She had admitted he was the person she felt closest to… And how he felt like the luckiest person alive that she existed. He had wanted nothing more in that moment than to close the distance between them.
His heart would skip a beat whenever they locked eyes and she said his name. And his name never did sound nearly as nice when it didn't come from her mouth. He knew he had known for a while that he liked her. Liked her a lot – more than a lot – but love? Love was such a strong word, a word he had never associated with anyone romantically before.
But if he really had to think about it, hadn't he truly known deep down for a while now? Was his fear of what that word meant clouding his mind of the truth? Or maybe he had been repressing it, fearing she'd never feel the same way for a monster like him. Hadn't that been why he stopped himself when all he wanted to do was kiss her that night in front of the fire?
Suddenly he could see everything so clearly. He could feel it in his chest and he thought about that little four letter word over and over again as Hermione's face swam through his mind. And in that moment, Remus was absolutely sure that James was right.
He loved her
.:~*~*~*~*~:.
On the morning of the next full moon, Hermione, Lily, and Mary made their way down the stairs on their way to breakfast. As they entered the Common Room, they noticed a small crowd huddled near the entrance and murmuring to each other.
Getting on her tiptoes, Hermione tried to peer over the heads of the students to see what everyone was looking at when she spotted everyone looking at the Gryffindor Notice Board. A group of girls stood near it giggling.
Her attention was dragged away from the Notice Board as a group walked up beside them, and she spotted Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter who had all just walked down from their own dormitory.
The first thing Hermione noticed were the dark circles under Remus's eyes, and he gave her a weak smile as he caught her eye. He must have already been starting to feel the affects of the full moon. A part of her hoped it wouldn't be a bad transformation month for him. He had already been acting slightly off the last few days, but today there was a definite physical change.
"I wonder what's posted there," said James who began making his way through the crowd as students started to leave for breakfast.
They followed James until the seven of them were huddled around the board. A large notice was posted with large, bolded letters at the very top:
APPARITION LESSONS
If you are seventeen years of age, or will turn seventeen on or before the 31st August next, you are eligible for a twelve-week course of Apparition Lessons from a Ministry of Magic Apparition instructor. Please sign below if you would like to participate. Cost: 12 Galleons.
"Brilliant!" said James, beaming as he pat Sirius on the back, who was also grinning widely at the board.
"We're going to be able to apparate this summer!" said Sirius. He was the first to move forward to sign his name.
"If we pass our tests…" said Peter, looking at the notice nervously while they all began to write their names down one after the other.
"Of course we'll pass our tests," said James, putting his hand on Peter's shoulders. "All of us."
The only thing Hermione could think about was if she would even be allowed to get an Apparition License in this time. Technically, she didn't really exist. Hadn't Dumbledore told her he was covering for her existence with the Ministry? Yet she knew it would be suspicious not to sign up for lessons. If it came down to it, she was sure she could find an excuse to miss the final exam, or to somehow fail the test. Although the thought of splinching herself on purpose to fail was not a pleasant one. Hermione made a mental note to ask Dumbledore next time she spoke with him as she too scribbled her name on the sign-up sheet.
But the rest of the Gryffindors that were still there weren't focused on the Apparition notice, given that it only applied to the sixth years, or seventh years who hadn't passed yet. The other students were focused on something else on the board, and it seemed to create a lot of excitement.
Below the notice for Apparition Lessons was one more large announcement stating the date of the next Hogsmeade trip, which would be the weekend after next.
"Oh no…" muttered Mary under her breath. "That's the day before Valentine's Day."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," said Lily.
"It sort of is," said Mary, looking concerned. "I had told Marcus I'd go on the next trip with him. That's a lot more pressure for a first date…"
"Surely it won't be too much pressure since it's not actually on Valentine's Day," said Hermione, not really seeing the big deal. "The 13th is just any other day of the month."
"Yes, but we rarely have trips that actually fall on Valentine's Day," said Mary with a look of horror in her eyes. "People here always treat the trip closest to it as if it were the actual day. There will be decorations around the village and everything! What if he now wants it to be this big romantic thing? Maybe I could cancel… or feign sick."
"You will not!" said Lily firmly. "You've liked Marcus for a while now and you've been looking forward to that date since last term. So I forbid you to cancel. You're going to go, and you're going to have a lovely time."
"Yeah… yeah, you're right," said Mary with a nod, but she still looked worried. "Hopefully he'll still even want to go."
"Of course he'll still want to go. He'd be silly not to," assured Lily, and this seemed to pacify Mary, who seemed to relax slightly. "Now let's go get us some breakfast."
Lily and Mary began walking towards the portrait hole but Hermione looked back towards the Notice Board. James, Sirius, and Peter had also left for breakfast along with most of the crowd. Remus was still staring at it, with a small frown and she walked beside him. Most of the other students had cleared out by then, which left Hermione and Remus nearly alone.
"Excited for Apparition lessons?" she asked him. He had been so deep in thought that he seemed surprised when he saw her beside him.
"Yeah, it should be fun," he said with a nod. "I'm probably going to have to pick up extra shifts at Flourish and Blotts over Easter Holiday to pay for it though."
Hermione nodded and she noticed Remus's eyes glance back at the notice board nervously. The corner of his mouth fell down and there was an uneasy look in his eyes.
"If you need help paying for it…" she started, thinking about the allowance Dumbledore had been giving her. Surely there would be enough to cover what Remus couldn't since she rarely spent it. But Remus winced at her statement and she didn't continue it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply…"
"No, no, that's not it. Don't worry, I wasn't really even thinking about the lessons," he said with a tired smile. "I just have a lot on my mind with… you know…"
And she did know. She put her hand by his arm, right above his elbow and gave it a comforting squeeze.
"Are you alright, Remus?" asked Hermione softly, keeping her voice low even though no one was nearby anymore. "Are the effects beginning to feel too strong?"
"I'll be fine," he said wearily but Hermione didn't believe him.
"Well, if there's anything I can do…"
"Just my notes when I'm gone," he said with a smile.
"I'll bring them to you first thing in the morning," she promised.
"Did you want to head for breakfast?" he asked her, forcing another smile to his tired looking face. All Hermione could do was nod.
As the rest of the day went on, Hermione noticed that Remus's mood seemed to worsen. He seemed disconnected and tired, and Hermione couldn't help but worry, wishing there was something she could do for him. It was such a powerless feeling.
When it came time for lunch, he disappeared to go to the Hospital Wing until it was time for his transformation. The rest of the day felt lonelier with him gone and the classes dragged on.
The Common Room was quiet that night. Like every night of the full moon, the Marauders were up in their dormitory rather than entertaining down in front of the fire like they usually would.
This meant that her favorite armchair by the fire was free, but as much as she tried to enjoy the quietness of the Common Room while studying, she couldn't help but think about James, Sirius, and Peter all upstairs getting ready to meet up with Remus.
The whole idea of knowing they were planning on spending the night with Remus as a werewolf made it impossible to concentrate. And if she were being honest, something felt entirely wrong about her knowing his secret and not being able to do anything with them to make it easier.
She looked over at the time on wall clock. It was getting late; they would probably be leaving soon to accompany him. What if she just went upstairs to talk to them? What would they use as an excuse to get rid of her? If she suggested they work on homework together would they be forced to stay? That would never be something she would actually go through with… Remus needed them, she wouldn't prevent them from going. But there was that sense of curiosity thinking about what they would say to her. Would they come clean? Doubtful.
It was a dangerous game she was about to play. A part of her tried to justify this horrible idea. Now that they all knew that she knew about Remus, wouldn't they expect that she'd be wondering how they all spent their full moons? On the other hand, this might be pushing her luck way too far. They could think she was being nosey, or worse, that they'd assume that maybe she already knew and had been hiding that as well. At the end of her moral dilemma, her morbid curiosity won.
She made her way up the stairs towards the boys dormitories. There were muffled voices from the other side of the thick wooden door of the Marauders dormitory. She stopped and tried to listen for a moment, but she wasn't able to make out what anyone was saying and she hadn't really expected to. While the dorms weren't soundproof, they did offer a decent amount of privacy with just how old and solid everything had been built. But the boys did seemed to be making a lot of noise.
With a deep breath, she hesitantly knocked three times.
Then there was silence, quickly replaced by what sounded like objects quickly being shuffled around on the other side.
"Just a moment!" called out a voice, that was most likely Sirius's.
A few more seconds passed and the door swung open and Hermione watched Sirius dash farther back into the room.
Hermione peered into the room and looked around suspiciously. Sirius seemed to be trying to make himself look casual as he leaned up against one of the columns of his four-poster bed. His winter scarf stuck out a bit from underneath his pillow and he seemed to be trying to block it from view with his body. Peter was looking at her anxiously, his clothes were wrinkled and his hair was tussled, and Hermione had a sneaking suspicious that he had already been in his rat form when she had knocked and had quickly transformed back. James was sitting on top of his trunk, a small piece of silvery fabric was just visible sticking out from under the closed top and a singular glove sticking out from his jeans pocket. All three of them were dressed as if they were about to leave the castle, not like they normally would if they were just going to spend the night in Gryffindor Tower.
"What's up, Hermione?" said James, shifting his weight so his leg covered the still visible square of his invisibility cloak.
"I just came to see what you were all up to," she said innocently. "Normally you're making a scene with games or stolen food or something along those lines. I was just studying by the fire, and something felt off with it being so calm and quiet down there."
"Ah yeah. Well, it's just not the same without Moony," said Sirius, pouting slightly. "We normally stay up here on full moons."
"It really isn't the same without him," she agreed, frowning slightly. Looking between the three boys in the dormitory did feel wrong without Remus, like something was definitely missing.
"Don't worry, Hermione. He's going to be alright. We can all go see him tomorrow," said James, looking at her with a kind but sad smile.
Hermione sighed. "Well, could I spend some of the night with you guys? We could work on our Charms homework together."
The boys exchanged another look and Hermione forced herself not to grin as she felt her plan working. She was curious as to how they would try to blow her off.
"We were actually just about to go to bed," said Peter quickly. "So we can get up early and visit Remus in the Hospital Wing."
James and Sirius hastily agreed, and Sirius let out an incredibly fake yawn as he stretched his arms behind his back.
It was actually a pretty good excuse. It almost would have worked out perfectly for them if they hadn't forgotten what they were wearing. Hermione's gaze immediately dropped to their feet where they had changed from their school shoes into their boots so they could walk across the snow that layered the ground of that cold February night.
James's eyes followed hers and he looked down at his own feet and immediately smacked himself in the forehead. He caught her eye and Hermione knew he had realized she wasn't going to buy it. This was her chance.
"You're not… planning on going after him, are you?" she gasped, laying it on thick, trying to sound appalled and disapproving at the same time.
The three boys once again looked between each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes.
"You are!" she said, trying her best to sound accusatory. Luckily for her, that was a tone that usually came naturally.
"Now, now, Hermione," said Sirius, a guilty grin on his face as he held his hands up in front of himself. Peter was staring daggers at him. "It's not really what you think."
"You'll get yourselves killed!" she said, panic thick in her voice.
It was odd, her panic wasn't even an act. After all the stories from her time she heard about their transformations together, she had always pictured them more as adults. How she knew Sirius and Remus to look in the future in their 30s. As she stared at the three boys and seeing how young they looked, just teenagers, and how immature they could behave, there really was a sense of fear for their wellbeing. While she knew nothing ever happened to them, she would still get that feeling of dread at the idea that her just being there could upset history somehow.
"No, we won't," said James, also eyeing Sirius carefully. "We know what we're doing and can handle it."
"And how could you possible be able to handle being around a werewolf?"
"Well that's simple," said Sirius, a mischievous smile forming on his face. "We're animagi"
~o~
It had been too easy. Never in a million years had Hermione expected Sirius to just blurt out the group's biggest secret like it was nothing. In her third year, she had learned that no one had ever known, not even Dumbledore knew they had been animagi. Yet here Sirius was, telling someone they had only known for less than six months their biggest secret.
After the appalled looks from both James and Peter, the three of them had sat her down and explained everything. They told her what they could become, when they decided to start learning and when they achieved it, where they went each full moon to transform with Remus, and why they had done it. The only thing they left out was the how, and Hermione wondered if that was done purposely or not.
Before telling her what animal they each became, Sirius had been really adamant about all of them just transforming to show her, but James had immediately shut him down, not wanting him to accidentally destroy their sleeping quarters. Instead, they just had gone around the room and told her, and Hermione had done her best to act surprised and impressed.
"The rat that charged me at the beginning of the school year in the Common Room?" Hermione had asked, feigning the realization when Peter said he was a rat.
Peter, who had been looking upset since Sirius had mentioned they were animagi, and very uncomfortable with telling her anything in that moment, finally had the corner of his lips curl slightly.
"Yeah, that was me," he had said, with the smallest hint of pride, and Hermione was glad to have even slightly appeased him.
"Well…" she started slowly. "I guess the nicknames all make sense now."
That got a laugh out of them.
They had accepted she knew so easily, and none of them seemed suspicious at all. A part of Hermione wondered if it had just been her luck, but there was still a nagging sensation that there was something wrong with her knowing this information. Still, she was grateful that there would be less things that she'd have to hide.
First thing the next morning, before the rest of her house had woken up, Hermione arrived early and spent nearly the entire day at Remus's bedside in the Hospital Wing. It was odd to see him so soon after the transformation. Usually, days would have gone by before he was well enough to return. Seeing him so weak and tired in the hospital bed directly after the full moon devasted her more than Hermione thought it would.
He spent a good portion of the morning sleeping, but when he was awake, he would smile at her and assure her he was okay and that he was just happy she was there with him. His words made her feel warm and his smile was so genuine that Hermione's guilt at how she had "figured out" all of their secrets seemed to fade away. His smile was worth it.
The rest of the Hospital Wing was empty that Saturday, but every now and then Madam Pomfrey would come around and check on the new scratch that was on the inside of his left arm.
"It could have been much worse. It's just the one scratch this time and it wasn't very deep. It should heal well enough," Madam Pomfrey said to Hermione firmly as she replaced his bandages during one of the moments where he slept. She didn't seem to question how Hermione knew, and Hermione was grateful for that. But Hermione wondered if that meant it would get back to Dumbledore that the group of them knew she knew Remus was a werewolf. But as long as she never did anything that would make Dumbledore know about them being animagi, it probably wouldn't be so bad.
When lunch approached, and Madam Pomfrey had left to fetch herself and Remus something to eat, Remus was awake and more coherent than he had been earlier in the day. That was when Hermione told him about the night before, and how Sirius had told her about all of them. She was nervous when she told him, not knowing if it would upset him, but he only seemed to be amused.
As soon as she finished the story, telling him everything from the precious night, he burst out laughing. Well, he laughed as well as he could since his body seemed to still be in pain. Still, it was a wonderful sound to hear after knowing what he must have gone through the night before.
After he finally stopped laughing, Remus weakly smiled at her. "I can't believe he told you," he chuckled.
"I can't believe it either. I honestly wasn't expecting it at all," she said shaking her head. And it wasn't even a lie, she genuinely had been shocked. "He even suggested they all transform right then and there! I really think he would have if James hadn't stopped him."
"I wish I could have been there to see your face during all of that," he said with a grin.
Hermione sighed. "Honestly, I wish you could have been there too. Are you upset they told me without you?"
"No, I'm glad you know," he said, his voice sounding stronger than it had all morning. There was an intensity in his eyes as he smiled at her from the hospital bed. "It's like you're finally becoming one of us."
The comment made her flush. There was no doubt that she was also starting the feel the same way, a part of their group, and she beamed at him. The thought made her so unbelievably happy that she had to turn away from him and stare into one of the lit torches and will herself not to start crying.
They had to stop their conversation when Madam Pomfrey returned with their food. Remus claimed he wasn't really hungry and insisted Hermione share his meal with him. She tried to decline but he continued to insist until they both were sitting there each eating half of a sandwich.
The other three Marauders had joined them in the Hospital Wing after lunch, and after resting most of the morning Remus seemed to be in much higher spirits with his best friends around.
"You should have seen him, Hermione," said Sirius enthusiastically when Madam Pomfrey was out of earshot in her office.
"No," said Remus firmly before Hermione could respond. "She definitely should not have seen me."
Sirius ignored him and was staring excitedly at Hermione. "At one point, he was chasing Peter around in circles, and Wormy was just zooming in and out from under furniture so fast and Moony couldn't keep up. It almost looked like he was a dog chasing his tail. Man, that was something to watch!"
Remus let out an exaggerated sigh. "You're unbelievable. You all are lucky I even allow you all there."
"You know we help though!" said Sirius.
"True," agreed Remus with a grin. "But it's definitely not somewhere for a regular human to be. I'm still dangerous."
"Oh, please," said Sirius with a wave of his hand. "You're basically just an overgrown puppy with a bit of a temper."
Remus's eyes narrowed slightly. "Sirius…"
"Right… sorry…" he said with an apologetic grin.
When dinnertime neared, James, Sirius, and Peter began to get up to go to the Great Hall, but Hermione stayed in her chair by Remus's bedside.
"You coming, Hermione?" asked James.
"No, I'm not very hungry, I'm going to stay here," she said, but Remus frowned at her.
"You need to go and eat," he said.
"But we haven't even looked at your notes!" she said, pulling up her bag that was filled with both hers and his notes from the day before.
"We still have all day tomorrow to go over them. Food is important."
"It's fine, really."
But in that moment, her body betrayed her and her stomach let out an audible growl. She cursed herself for skipping breakfast to get there early. Apparently, half a sandwich had not been enough to hold her over. The sound made Remus grin and he raised an eyebrow at her.
"Okay, I probably should eat…"
"Yes, you definitely should," he said with a laugh.
"I'll be back when we're done," she said to him.
"No, I forbid you to come back after dinner. You've been here all day. Go spend your Saturday night doing something fun," he said with a weak smile.
"Alright," she said hesitantly, wondering what fun he possibly expected her to have. "But I'll be back first thing tomorrow."
"I'll hold you too it," he said with a tired smile as he took a hold of her hand. "Thank you. For spending the day here."
He gave her hand a small squeeze before releasing her to follow James, Sirius, and Peter to dinner.
Hermione felt gloomy as she sat with the other boys at dinner. She looked at Sirius, James, and Peter as they laughed and talked about their night in the Shrieking Shack with Remus and all she felt were pangs of jealousy.
It didn't stem from not for being able to become an animagus, that had never been something that particularly interested her other than for academic purposes. There had never been a practical reason for her to want that before. And it wasn't from the adventuring out late at night with a werewolf. If Hermione was completely honest, being locked in a battered room with a werewolf before the invention of the wolfsbane potion was one of the last things she'd want to do.
No, her jealousy was because they were able to be there for Remus and help him in a way that she never could. And she wanted that. She wanted that a lot.
"But it's definitely not somewhere for a regular human to be," was what Remus had said. The thought of that made her frown. There never would be anything she could do to help if things stayed the way they were.
Then, she suddenly realized something. A way for her to make a difference. Some way she could change something with minimal effect on her own timeline but something that could benefit the people there. It would have even less of an effect once she was sent back to her own time.
When dinner ended, Hermione immediately made her way to the library and pulled every book that could even begin to help her from the shelves and hid herself deep within the stacks as to not be seen nor bothered.
While time ticked away, Hermione's frustration only increased as she pushed yet another book aside, not finding anything useful once again. Giving up was not an option, and it wasn't until Madam Pince showed up and began berating her for staying well past closing, that Hermione forced herself to leave the library.
As she walked the corridors in annoyance towards the Grand Staircase, she realized that if she were to succeed, she was going to need some help. And she knew exactly who to ask for it.
She turned on her heel and instead of heading towards Gryffindor Tower, Hermione began making her way towards the Entrance Hall.
When she arrived right outside of the Great Hall, she sat down on one of the benchs to wait. The Marauders tended to travel as a pack and the only way to get one alone was to catch them doing something the others weren't.
In this case, it was Quidditch.
It was too cold to wait for James at the pitch, and honestly, she couldn't believe they still had a practice as it had snowed again all morning and the temperature had to be below freezing. There was no telling how long their practice would go, especially since Gryffindor's next match wasn't until next month. She hoped she hadn't somehow already missed him, but he usually had practices this late. And Hermione had nothing but time.
Beginning to feel impatient, Hermione stood up and slowly began to pace, trying to figure out what she was going to even say to him. Should she just blurt it out? How would he even take it? Was it even a good idea to ask him? Again, she was really pushing her luck.
"Hermione?" said a voice, startling her. She turned to face the entrance to the Grand Staircase and saw a group of Hufflepuffs headed towards the door leading to the basement, but Dirk Cresswell broke off from the group and headed towards her.
"Dirk?"
"Hey," he said with a smile. "I thought it was you. What are you doing pacing around here by yourself?"
"Oh… I was just waiting for someone," she said, pointing her thumb towards the main door. "What are you doing out so late?"
"Gobstones club just ended," he said with a shrug. "We usually meet out in the courtyard but it's so cold out and the snow makes it hard to play. Professor Flitwick let us use his classroom instead."
"Oh, that's nice," said Hermione politely, not really in the mood for small talk. She quickly eyed the doors to the Grounds before returning her gaze back to Dirk.
"I'm glad I ran into you. We haven't had a Slug Club meeting yet this term and I haven't really had a chance to see you since the Christmas holidays. I guess I've been busy studying for the O.W.L.s," he said, sounding bitter.
"And Gobstones Club," said Hermione automatically, and he laughed.
"Yes, and Gobstones club," he said, his eyes twinkling. "We should get together sometime before the next Slug Club meeting. You can get payback from our last chess match."
She was reminded of the chess matches they had played in the library last December when everyone else had gone home for Christmas. He had found her and asked for a game when she had been pouring over books trying to find anything helpful about time travel. She had lost every single match. It had been fun, but he had also distracted her from her research, causing her to spend the rest of the holidays in the Room of Requirement.
"Yes, that could be fun," she said, trying to force herself to sound enthusiastic. As much as Hermione liked Dirk, he did seem to have a knack for showing up at the worst times. All she wanted in that moment was to speak to James, but she also didn't want to hurt Dirk's feelings.
"Are you free a week from tomorrow?" he asked hesitantly.
"A week from tomorrow? Next Sunday?" she asked blankly, wondering why he had chosen such a specific day just for a game. "To play chess?"
"Er—well yeah," he said, his cheeks suddenly became pink and he looked nervous. "Well… I was thinking… maybe we could go together to Hogsmeade that day… and also get in another chess match?"
There was a shy look on his face and then it dawned on Hermione then what was going on and her mouth fell open. He was asking her to go with him to Hogsmeade? Like a date?
All she could think about was the big deal Mary had made about the next Hogsmeade trip being the day before Valentine's Day and Hermione immediately grew uncomfortable.
This couldn't be happening.
As if saved by Merlin himself, the doors leading outside swung open, letting in a blast of chilly air and a small cloud of powdered snow as the Gryffindor Quidditch team made their way back into the castle. Hermione turned towards the door and immediately spotted James's jet-black hair flecked with white flakes of snow as he talked to one of the other chasers. The team stopped in the entrance and began kicking off the snow from their boots. Then an idea sprung into her head.
"I'm… so sorry Dirk," she said quickly, turning back to look at him. "But I've already made plans with James for that day."
Dirk looked around her and stared at the Gryffindor Quidditch team and a sort of realization spread across his face as his eyes landed on James.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize," he said awkwardly, his cheeks growing even pinker. "I thought if anything you might have made plans with Remus…"
"Remus?" puzzled Hermione, but he just continued talking without elaborating on that statement.
"I should have known though, I mean you did bring James to the Christmas party," he said with a small frown.
"Oh, well, it's not really like that…" started Hermione, but Dirk cut her off.
"No worries, I understand," he said with a forced smile. "I'll see you around, Hermione. Do let me know if you ever want another game of chess, yeah?"
"Yes, of course, Dirk," she said, feeling incredibly uncomfortable and confused at what had just happened. He gave her one final smile before turning and walking towards the entrance to the basement.
What just happened? She wondered. He had just asked her on a date… But had he also assumed she was dating Remus but now thought she was dating James? She did spend an awful amount of time with Remus, but that was a preposterous idea…
But had she just implied herself that she was dating James? That wouldn't be good, she was going to have to fix that. Too many thoughts began to cloud her head and she nearly forgot what she was doing standing there in the Entrance Hall to begin with.
"Hermione?" questioned James's voice, and he poked her shoulder causing her to jump and let out a squeak as she flipped around to see him. He grinned at her. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. What are you doing here anyway?"
She looked around him and saw that the rest of his team was already making their way towards Gryffindor Tower.
"I knew you had Quidditch practice, so I decided to wait for you here. I needed to get you alone," she said quickly.
James took a tentative step back and raised his eyebrow at her curiously. "Er- alright… why's that?"
"I had a question I wanted to ask you."
"What's up, Hermione?" he said looking confused.
"Do you know how to cast a corporeal patronus?"
He definitely didn't look like he had expected her to say that. Why would he have?
"No… why do you ask?"
"Do you want to know how?" she asked impatiently.
"I mean, yeah… it would be really cool, but why are you asking me, and why did you have to ask me alone?" he asked, looking at her suspiciously.
"Because I can teach you, but I have also have a favor."
He stayed silent as he looked at her like she had gone mad and her heart hammered in her chest. It was now or never. She took one long deep breath and exhaled, locking eye with him.
"I want you to teach me how to become an animagus."
A/N: The Apparition Notice is taken from Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 17: A Sluggish Memory. Please don't sue me! I am broke and making absolutely nothing from this.
So let me know what you thought! Is there anything in particular that you liked? Anything you want to happen? Anything you think should be different? What do you think will happen next? Any suggestions or concerns? Let me know!
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