AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Happy holidays! Many readers have requested a chapter about Nancy and Art's divorce, and though it took me some time to get here, I'm glad I have finally gotten it written for you all. Not the happiest or most upbeat gift to you all, but this was very highly requested!

Special shoutout to my new guest reviewer Aria- your review made my day! I hope you like this update just as much as the others, and I hope to hear more from you! To my other reviewers who have faithfully reviewed each update- thank you! I am very appreciative and always get excited to see what you liked. If you're reading but haven't left a review recently, maybe leave me a little holiday present this time? ;)

Chapter 14: You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

GRIFFIN

"Solid choice, Art," Griffin said after the movie finished and the credits began rolling. If left to his own devices, Artie probably would have chosen the original version of the film from the '60s, but Griffin knew that he was aiming to please the other siblings. "I hadn't watched that one in a while."

He knew his little brother well enough to know why he'd chosen it. Artie– even as loquacious as he was– still found it easiest to express his thoughts and emotions through films. He had done the same thing last summer when he and Griffin had been arguing about one thing or another. Eventually, after a day or two of not speaking, Artie texted Griffin to ask if he wanted to watch the third Indiana Jones movie with him (The Last Crusade was a known favorite of the both of them). It worked, of course, and by dinnertime, they were acting as if nothing had even happened. Griffin knew that's what Artie was doing now with his suggestion of Yours, Mine & Ours; it was Artie's nonverbal version of a peace offering. A subtle hope that, despite their differences, maybe there were some brighter days ahead for himself and Sebastian.

Artie didn't say anything, but he did look satisfied by the compliment, as he always was when somebody commented on his movie selections.

"I hadn't seen it in a while either," Sebastian agreed, surprising Griffin by speaking up. "It kind of perfectly encapsulates what it's like to have grown up in a single-parent household for so many years, then having your parent find somebody else. And, you know, trying to get along with the new kids that also came along with the arrangement."

Sebastian and Ella were sharing the couch across from himself and Artie, and Griffin watched as Sebastian ruffled Ella's hair good-naturedly. Ella smirked and swatted his hand away before finger-brushing her hair to undo the minor damage Seb had caused. He didn't seem the least bit bothered or cynical as he said this, as Griffin might have suspected he would be.

Even though their parents were divorced and had spent the last seven years living across the state from one another, Griffin had never really felt like he and his siblings had grown up in a single-parent household. They'd had unwavering support from both of their parents, even though their family of five didn't live under one roof anymore. Griff couldn't imagine how Sebastian had gotten through all of the years without his mother around. But he supposed, just as with any tragedy, you have to force yourself to come to terms with your new reality and push forward.

"Now, I'll admit, I'm sure this whole 'blending of the families' thing has been easier on me than it's been for the three of you. Especially you two," Griffin said, looking pointedly at Artie and Seb, who, in turn, exchanged a glance of their own. "I hardly live at home anymore, so because of that, you guys have spent way more time together during this transition process and have felt its effects more than I have, for sure."

Artie had been keeping Griffin pretty up-to-date on the drama between him and Sebastian, as well as all that was going down between the New Directions and The Warblers. It was some pretty intense stuff, from what Griff understood, especially since it had resulted in his mother calling him at school and asking him to come home and participate in this sibling bonding weekend.

"But I remember when our parents got divorced, I felt like my life had been flipped upside down. Just when I'd adjusted to our family's new normal following the accident, then here this was, dropping another bomb on everything."

Griffin looked at Artie out of the corner of his eye just then, knowing that his brother could still be kind of sensitive about the years immediately following the accident. Though Artie wore a blank expression on his face, he didn't seem outwardly opposed to Griffin telling this story, so Griff took that as his cue to proceed.

"At some point, I had to have known that the divorce was coming. Or maybe… I kind of hoped it would come. I mean, as a kid, you can only spend so many months overhearing your parents relentlessly argue downstairs late at night before you hope for something to happen that will put an end to all of that," He confessed. "But even if I was hoping for the fighting to stop, it didn't make the separation any easier when we were actually going through it."

Lima, Ohio

March 2003

It was past midnight, and Griffin still found himself tossing and turning in his bed, unable to sleep. He'd tried about everything he could think of: listening to music on his MP3 player, playing games on his Game Boy, even turning the lights on and reading for a while. Nothing seemed to be enough to beat the spell of insomnia he currently found himself in.

A cool glass of water, Griffin figured, was the final thing he could think of that may have a chance of lulling him to sleep.

He threw back his covers and trudged across the carpet, quietly opening his bedroom door so that he wouldn't accidentally wake up Ella, whose room was next door.

The moment he stepped out into the hallway, however, he realized that he was not the only one in the household who was awake.

"Can't you stay home for a couple more days?"

"I can't. Spring training started three weeks ago. I'm lucky they let me stay back as long as they did."

"Your son and your wife were in a horrific accident less than six months ago. You don't think they'd understand?!"

Griffin could see the soft glow of light from the kitchen streaming into the home's foyer, and he tried to remain as silent as he possibly could be as he lowered himself onto the staircase's top step to listen in on what was happening.

"Nance, this isn't some office job. People rely on me. I'm expendable," He heard his father saying. "I already called out of all of the team's winter workouts over the last few months. If I call out of spring training too, I'll be done. They'll replace me. Do you know how many hitting coaches there are out there, ready to jump at this job?"

The parents weren't yelling by any means (if they were, it undoubtedly would have awoken Artie, whose bedroom was closest to the kitchen), but their speaking voices were loud enough that if Griffin cupped his ear a certain way and leaned forward a little bit, he could clearly make out that they were in an argument.

"You're always away," Griffin heard his mother say, and he could make out the sadness in her voice. "We have been through a lot this year. The kids need you here. I need you."

"And I need this job!" His father countered.

At nearly thirteen, Griff was mature enough to know what happened when parents spent more time fighting or apart than they did happily and together. It had happened with his friend Justin's parents last year. Heck, even his own father's parents had gotten a divorce a long time ago, when his dad had been a kid. Things were just starting to feel normal again after the accident. Griffin's stomach turned as he tried to imagine his family going through something else so trying, so permanent, like that. His heart broke with each passing minute that the arguing continued.

"We have three kids, Art. Three. They each have their own needs and need their own individual attention. I'm not superwoman. I can't be at Ella's ballet lesson, driving Griffin to a friend's house, and bringing Artie to PT all at the same time. I need help. And who am I supposed to turn to when you're in Florida for two months?"

"Do you know how much Artie's therapy costs? And Griffin's, for that matter? And Artie's new leg braces, his meds, and the other equipment that he's going to continue to need? How much it's taking to remodel this house? How about the gigantic hole in our backyard right now that will soon be a pool? Huh? Do you know how fucking expensive it is to get metal rods put in your kid's back?"

Silence followed his father's rant, and Griffin swallowed hard.

"This job comes with good insurance, Nancy. Great insurance. But even the greatest of insurance plans don't cover everything. I don't have to explain that to you."

"You don't," His mother answered coolly. "In fact, it's pretty condescending."

"Then you see why I need to go report to the team. The longer I'm away, the greater the chance that those paychecks stop coming altogether. This job keeps food on the table and a roof over our heads. Without it, we'd be screwed."

"We're not struggling–"

"Not yet we're not," Art cut her off. "But if the team replaces me? I have no idea how we'd be able to maintain the lifestyle we have, on top of paying for all of the new bills that come to the house each week."

"It's nearly one in the morning. Can we discuss this another time? I have to check on Artie and make sure he's shifted positions, and then I need to head off to sleep myself. Ella will be up in a few hours, and who's going to be the one to get up with her?"

"How long are we going to do this, Nancy?" Art asked. "This back-and-forth fighting every night?"

Griffin pulled his knees in closer to his chest as he heard his mother sigh.

"The kids have been through the unimaginable, Art. They need both of their parents around right now. I'm not going to take their family away from them too."

Griffin heard the sound of a chair being pushed away from the kitchen table and took that as his cue to scamper back upstairs so that he could remain hidden from view. His mother would call this 'a conversation between adults that's not meant for young (or nearly teenage, for that matter) ears'. The last thing he wanted was for his parents to find out he'd overheard their bickering.

His glass of water and bout of insomnia all but forgotten by now, Griffin shut his door softly behind him and climbed back into bed, making the obvious decision not to tell Artie or Ella about what he'd heard. He had to keep this to himself, no matter how much it hurt.

"Mom was overwhelmed, I think. Dad's job is unconventional and requires a lot of physical dedication. And those years, when we were all young, I know she felt like she was raising us alone," Griffin said. "Following the accident especially. And it's not that Dad didn't care for her– or us– he did. He still does. And, in a way, he was right. We did need the money his job brought in. In that time more than ever."

"I remember waking up the next morning and going down for breakfast and just… watching them. You know, to see if they were acting different," Griffin recalled, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing it, as he could feel a headache coming on. "I watched as they interacted in the kitchen, and I remember thinking that if I hadn't heard what I had the night before, I'd think that everything was fine. But they didn't hug or kiss when they first saw each other like they usually did. I remember looking at Artie, like, 'Are you seeing this?!', but his attention was too consumed by the piece of toast he was nibbling on for him to notice that our parents were behaving strangely."

Ella and Sebastian giggled at that, and Griffin looked over at Artie, who had finally managed a small smile. But it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared, and soon his expression was back to a slight frown.

"After that first night, whenever Dad was home and not traveling for work, I'd stay up and venture out of my room and secretly listen to them fight like that. Sometimes they'd be arguing about money, sometimes it was about household chores, but most of the time it was about work. It was always one thing or another, and it felt like it was never going to stop. It wasn't until over a year after the first time I'd stumbled across them fighting before they decided to finally separate."

Griffin looked between Ella and Artie as he asked his next question.

"Do you guys remember when they told us?"

Artie silently nodded.

"I was six! I barely remember any of these stories anyone's told," Ella complained, slumping lower in her seat.

"Damn, kid, that brain of yours blocked out alllll of the childhood trauma," Sebastian said, gently patting one of her legs that were resting across his lap. "Lucky duck."

"That must be why you're the most level-headed of us all," Griffin told her. "It's because you haven't been nearly as affected by the universe fucking with you."

Ella crossed her arms over her chest and let out a 'hmph' noise, not satisfied with that response, apparently.

"Anyway, I think it was the fall when they finally broke the news to us," Griffin guessed, trying to make out the details that were, admittedly, sort of fuzzy after years of being repressed. "We were all back at school, Mom had gone back to work full-time, Dad was in the most crucial part of his season…"

October 2004

"Hey, Griff and Artie! Come sit down on the couch with Ella for a minute. Your mom and I have something we want to tell you," Art Abrams called from the living room.

Griffin and Artie had been sitting together at the kitchen table, sharing a bowl of grapes while doing their homework side-by-side. At their father's request, they vacated the kitchen and headed through the home's entryway and down the ramp that led into the sunken living room. Ella was already sitting on the couch watching cartoons when they entered, and Griffin and Artie took seats on the couch beside her. Their parents were standing on the opposite side of the coffee table from the kids, and Griffin noticed immediately that they looked nervous.

"What's happening?" Griffin was brave enough to ask as he looked between his parents.

"We're… having a family meeting," Art answered, muting the television.

"The only time we've ever had a family meeting was when you told us we were going to Disney World," Artie pointed out, narrowing his eyes and beginning to get suspicious now too. "Are we going on vacation?"

"No, no, we're not going on vacation," Nancy sighed and shook her head. She looked like she was struggling to figure out how to word what she needed to say. "Daddy and I… we're getting a divorce."

"What?" Artie asked softly, with all of his ten-year-old innocence. His big eyes were wide behind the lenses of his glasses and they began to fill with tears. "You don't love each other anymore?"

"That's not it, bud," Art assured him. Griffin continued to say silent, attempting to process this information. "Sometimes you still love somebody very, very much, but you realize that you're not supposed to be married anymore."

To Griffin's right, Artie's tears spilled over as he began to cry. To his left, Ella just looked confused.

"But why?" Griffin inquired, as if he hadn't been secretly witnessing the relentless late-night fighting for months.

"What's divorth mean?" Ella asked, scrunching up her face. She'd just lost both of her two front teeth the week before and it had temporarily altered her speech, which Griffin normally found adorable, but he was too numb to feel that way now.

"It means that Daddy and I are not going to be married anymore," Nancy gently explained. "We're going to live in separate houses. I'm going to continue living here with you all, so you don't have to worry about switching schools or anything."

"But, Daddy, where will you live?" Ella continued to pepper their parents with questions as Artie continued to cry. Griffin assumed that she was too young to really grasp the weight of this decision.

"I'm going to move into my own house," Art told them. "One that's closer to the baseball field. You guys will be able to come out and visit me in Akron on weekends when you don't have anything going on, and I'll be sure to come to Lima for your football games and band concerts and dance recitals. I promise."

"We'll still do holidays together, too. Just as we always have," Nancy added. "Christmas, Easter, birthdays… Dad and I don't want it to feel like so much is different for you guys."

"Of course it will be different! You're splitting up!" Artie exclaimed, furiously swiping at his eyes with the back of his hands. Artie had never been much of a crier when he was upset, and he had all but ceased to show that kind of emotion over the last few years. The fact that he was being so openly emotional at this news showed how much it was affecting him. "I'm sorry! I'll be better, I promise! I'll do all of my chores and I'll get straight A's! I promise I will! Just please don't get a divorce!"

Artie's desperate bargains and pleas appeared to break both of their parent's hearts, and it just about broke Griffin's as well.

"Oh, Artie…" Their mother said gently as she crossed the room so that she could kneel in front of her son and hug him. "None of this is your fault. There is nothing that you kids could have done to prevent this. I can promise you that."

Griffin scooted a little bit closer to Artie on the couch, wrapping his arms around his brother and holding him tightly. Artie didn't move to hug him back, but he did lean in and tuck his face into Griff's shoulder.

As Artie continued to sob in his arms, Griffin tried his best to sort through the mess of conflicting and confusing feelings he was currently experiencing. Why wasn't he having the same reaction as Artie? Was it because of all of the nights he'd spent sitting on the top of the stairs long after his bedtime, listening to the arguing and wondering if they were going to live like this forever? Why was the thought of his family splitting up somewhat appealing? Was he a horrible person– a horrible brother and son– for being relieved that he would no longer have to witness the love between his parents die right in front of his eyes? He didn't know the answer, but he was remorseful for having the thought anyway.

Though he didn't want his siblings to have to grow up splitting their time between both of their parents' homes, he was glad that Artie and Ella wouldn't ever have to listen in on the fighting that he'd overheard over the last several months. He supposed that had to count for something.

"Yeah, maybe I'm glad I don't really remember most of that," Ella confessed, staring back at her two older brothers across from her. "That does seem like something that would go on to mess you up."

"I think all three of us turned out pretty okay, all things considered," Griffin commented. "Don't you?"

"Well, I think a lot of that had to do with you two," Ella replied. "You guys were always playing with me, always distracting me and taking my mind off of the big things. You guys always made sure that I wasn't sad, and I looked to you both for how to react to a lot of things. Whenever I saw you guys were okay, I decided it was okay to be fine too. So... thanks?"

Griffin was glad he'd had that effect on Ella. That had been his goal, after all, to take the brunt of the suffering with hopes that his siblings would have to deal with less. (Which sounded pretty messed up, when he thought of it that way. But whatever. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.) Sure, he'd internalized his emotions regarding that subject for years, and there were nights where he'd cried into his pillow or stayed up wondering what had been the final straw in their parents' marriage before calling it quits (and had it been something he did?). But to hear that he'd been successful in shielding his little sister from that hurt did make him feel better.

Griffin allowed his eyes to drift over to Artie, who was sitting on the chair beside him. His legs were out in front of him, resting on the seat cushion of his chair and using it as sort of a makeshift ottoman. His eyebrows were knit together as his full concentration was dedicated to picking at a loose string from the hem of his shirt.

There weren't a lot of things that got Artie down– all around, he was a pretty chipper guy– but the divorce had always been difficult for him and he still didn't like to talk about it. He'd been awfully quiet the whole time Griffin was telling the story, which was unusual for someone who loved to butt in and give their two cents as much as Artie did.

"It made sense for Mom to have primary custody of us since work was Dad's number one priority from February to October," Griff said. "But Dad stayed true to his word; He always came to Lima for our games, tournaments, performances, all of that. I was never worried that I wouldn't have both of my parents present if I had some sort of event."

"Must have been nice," Sebastian replied, and Griffin flashed him a tight-lipped sympathetic smile. Griffin knew that not everyone's parents were as involved or supportive of what their children decided to do in their free time as his own were, and he felt for Sebastian.

"Did you ever think that either of your parents would remarry?" Sebastian wanted to know, which caused the three Abrams kids to share a questioning glance. It seemed that none of them knew the answer to that.

"It never really dawned on me," Ella was the first to respond. "I mean, Dad's an expert at living the bachelor lifestyle by now, and I don't see that changing. Work keeps him busy. Too busy for another relationship, besides the ones he has with his kids and with the dog that he adopted shortly after the split."

The Abrams kids shared a knowing laugh at the expense of their father's beloved black labrador, Buck, who was sometimes treated like he was Art Abrams' fourth child.

"Until our mom started seeing your dad, I sort of assumed she was always too focused on being supermom– working long days and coming home to care for the household– to find time to pursue a romantic relationship again," Artie chimed in, the lighthearted mention of the dog appearing to have pushed away the unpleasant emotions brought upon by reflecting on the divorce. "Also, I always thought of our parents as too old to be dating, you know?"

Sebastian could join in and laugh at that one too, as he was also guilty of having thought that at one point in time.

"Well, you know what they say," Griffin said. "Love always finds you when you least expect it."

Then, as if they knew they were being talked about, the door leading into the kitchen from the garage opened as Nancy and Harrison returned from their dinner date.

"Well, it's Saturday night and nobody's killed anybody else so far I see," Harrison noted with a chuckle, wrapping his arm around Nancy's waist.

"Not yet," Griffin played along.

"I think this was a good idea," Nancy said, looking up at her fiancé before returning her gaze to their children. "Devoting this weekend to sibling bonding. You four are going to be siblings for life. It would serve you all well to remember that and begin to like each other, don't you think?"

Nancy had addressed all four of the children, but, of course, Griffin knew her words were mainly directed at Artie and Sebastian. They were the two that were closest in age and had the potential to get along swimmingly, if only they gave the other a chance. But– as everyone was well aware of by now– there was a history there, and not a good one. Still, Griffin hoped it wouldn't take much longer for the two of them to realize that they're more alike than they are different. And as the second of three days spent together drew to a close, Griffin was optimistic that that day would come sooner rather than later.

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