A/N: Sorry for no update in April! What a chapter to leave off on, I know… It was both a very busy, and very strange month for me. But the next few chapters shouldn't have as long of a gap because I've already written a decent amount of the next three. I've also gone through and already edited the first 8 chapters. Again only small things; although the first chapter had the most work needed so that got a little Author's Note at the bottom of it about some of the changes. I'll slowly be doing the rest.

Many people have been asking about Hermione becoming an animagus (when it'll happen and what she'll become) and I don't want to spoil anything for people who want to be surprised, so all I'll say is that I promise you'll find out very soon! You'll get your answer in the next few chapters, hopefully sometime this month! :)

Chapter 31 – Silence

It was well past curfew when Hermione finally made it back to the Gryffindor Common Room. It had been a miracle that she hadn't been caught by any professors, prefects, or even Filch as she had slowly walked across the grounds and through the castle, feeling as though she were in a haze.

The torches throughout the common room were burning low. Flames crackled slowly in the fireplace as it was down to nearly just embers flickering faintly between the logs. The silence of the room was disconcerting, and Hermione didn't know what to do with herself. Did she take a seat by the dwindling fire? Go upstairs and crawl into bed as if nothing had just happened? Sneak off to the Room of Requirement? No, she couldn't possibly do that last one. Not without Remus.

Just the thought of Remus made her feel numb. How could she not have known? Had she been so focused on repressing her own feelings that she had missed all the signs? She had been too concentrated on trying to tell herself how impossible it would have been that not once had she ever considered the possibility that he could ever see her like that. If she had known, she could have done something to try to stop his feelings…

But love? Wow. Love.

It was a lot to process. Perhaps he was exaggerating how he felt. Perhaps it was his heightened emotions from the full moon. That would explain it. What other reason could there be? She was never supposed to be in that time or in his life in this way. But the way he had looked at her in that dark and dusty shack, the way his hand trembled as it held her face so gently… The feeling of his thumb as it had traced her cheek with the utmost care…

Hermione brought her hand slowly to her cheek and rested it against where his hand had just been. If Remus had moved in faster… given her no time to reconsider and step out of his hold… well… then where would they be? Both of her heartbeats increased at just the thought.

"Psst!"

Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin. Her head jerked towards where the sound came from in the corner of the room, but no one was there. So, it had finally happened; after everything she had been through, she was finally losing her mind. But as her eyes trailed to the floor, she saw three sets of shoes, shifting ever so slightly with no bodies attached.

It could only have meant one thing, and anger surged through her. Hermione marched across the room and reached out for the empty air in front of her. Her hand made contact with something solid, as well as the silky material of the invisibility cloak as she yanked it away, revealing James, Sirius, and Peter crouched together.

"Ow!" groaned Sirius. His hand immediately went into his black hair and began to rub his head. "You grabbed onto my hair!"

Hermione stared at him wordlessly, not even knowing where to begin. Just the sight of Sirius made her body tighten with rage. The burning sensation behind her eyes was beginning to return and Hermione had to focus all of her energy on not trembling where she stood.

Sirius continued rubbing his head, but James and Peter were looking at her curiously with wide eyes.

"Hermione, what's wrong? What happened?" asked James, sounding concerned as he took in her expression, but Hermione had her full attention on Sirius.

"Why did you tell him?" demanded Hermione, skipping the pleasantries and pointing directly at Sirius's face. "What were you thinking!"

It took all of her effort to not just scream at him, but the last thing she wanted to do was to wake up the rest of their house. It may have been empty in the common room, but risking exposing Remus's secret by causing a scene in the middle of the night was not worth the satisfaction of fully telling Sirius off.

Sirius immediately flinched and took a step back, his wide eyes going cross as he zeroed in on Hermione's finger in his face.

"He deserved to know!" defended Sirius, also attempting to keep his voice somewhat low.

As much as Hermione agreed that Remus did deserve to know, it was the when and how of the situation that bothered her. Something Sirius had not even bothered to consider.

"But to tell him then when he was feeling the way he was? That was cruel! You should have let me tell him at a better time and to properly explain everything!"

"And when would that be?" challenged Sirius.

"Certainly not after a full moon!"

"What happened in the shack?" interrupted James, careful to keep his voice soft.

Hermione turned towards him, and he was looking at her sympathetically.

"How did you know about the shack?" she snapped.

James took a step back and held out a hand in front of him in defense. With the other, he reached into his robes and pulled out the Marauder's Map, which still had the castle visible on it. The sight of it made Hermione's stomach drop.

"We were worried when Remus stormed out of the Hospital Wing, so we came back here to see where he went," explained James, looking at her cautiously. "By the time we got back here we saw the two of you headed in the direction of the willow. Then we saw him go back to the Hospital Wing and we watched until you made it back here."

It was an innocent enough explanation. At least it hadn't been because they had followed them under the cloak. That would have made things so much worse if they had seen and heard everything. Hermione trusted James enough to know he was telling the truth, so she turned her attention back to Sirius.

"What else did you say to him?" she demanded, jabbing her finger even closer to his face.

Sirius scowled at it, but still had the decency to appear somewhat guilty when his grey eyes met hers.

"What do you mean?"

"You told him something else, didn't you?" she asked with a small crack in her voice. It couldn't have just been the animagus secret. The way Remus had described Sirius getting his hopes up alluded to much more than that. She didn't believe Remus had jumped to that conclusion all on his own.

"I may have told him I thought you fancied him and that's why you were doing it…" muttered Sirius, looking down at his feet.

And there it was. Hermione's bottom lip then began to tremble, and she bit down on it to stop it, nodding slowly as she dropped her hand back to her side.

"Of course you did," breathed Hermione.

"What happened?" asked Peter, speaking for the first time. He wore a nervous look on his face, but there was also something else in his eyes. Something that read almost of accusation.

The three boys stared at her expectantly, but Hermione only shook her head harder, trying to keep the tears back. For the second time that night, she ran the sleeve of her jumper across her face, trying to remove the evidence of her dried tears while hoping to keep back the new ones that were threatening to escape.

"This is all your fault," she said acidly to Sirius before turning and walking towards the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

~o~

Remus had not shown up for class the next morning, nor did he make an appearance that afternoon. It wasn't enough to make Hermione completely worried yet. After all, Madam Pomfrey was most likely going to make him stay that day regardless of what had happened the night before. Her main concern was whether or not she should go and visit him in the Hospital Wing. He had said he needed time to think, but Hermione wasn't entirely sure of what that exactly meant.

Later that day, she got her answer.

"He got us kicked out!" said Sirius furiously as he approached where Hermione was sitting alone in the Great Hall. He dramatically sat down on the bench across from her with Peter and James sitting on either side of him.

The sight of him only further irritated her. Hermione had just arrived from Arithmancy, a class she shared with none of her friends, and had enjoyed having the afternoon away from him. She had hoped Lily and Mary would be the first ones to get there for dinner so she could join them rather than look at Sirius, but the odds must not have been in her favor.

Apparently, Sirius had not gotten the memo that she did not want to speak to him, even if she had ignored his presence the entire morning. Rather than respond to his question, even if she was curious, Hermione just glared at him.

"Are you really not going to speak to me?" asked Sirius, gaping at her.

Hermione said nothing and a sigh came from James, who glanced between them looking tired.

"We tried to visit Remus earlier this morning, but Madam Pomfrey said no visitors," James explained to Hermione, who politely looked over to acknowledge him. Sirius threw his hands in the air with a scoff. "Then we grabbed the cloak after lunch and tried to sneak in to see him. We skived off Care of Magical Creatures to do it too."

"You didn't go to class?" questioned Hermione.

"Well, we did end up going…" said James with a frown. "Ends up the no visitor policy was his idea and not Madam Pomfrey's. He got her to kick us out and sent us to class."

"We were lucky not to get a detention with Kettleburn for trying to bunk off," said Peter with a sour face.

Hermione didn't pay attention to Peter's statement; she was still trying to wrap her head around what James had said.

"Remus told her to make you leave?" Hermione asked James.

"He said he didn't want to see us."

"None of us?"

James shook his head.

"What happened in the shack, Hermione?" asked James.

"Nothing," she said evenly. Suddenly she wasn't very hungry anymore and she pushed her barely touched plate farther away. "I think I'm done with dinner…"

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

"Sadly, this will be our last meeting of the year," said Professor Slughorn woefully, looking around the circle at all of them. "With only a few weeks left of term, I wish you all the best of luck on your exams that are right around the corner!"

Slughorn chuckled to himself as if this were ridiculously funny, which earned him a few forced laughs from Slug Club members around the room.

"I hope to all see you again next year, and perhaps some new faces! The only member we'll be losing this year is Mister Rosier. I'd wish him well on his graduation, but he seems to have decided to not grace us with his presence yet again," said Slughorn, sounding slightly offended by the snub. "Perhaps his friends here will pass on the good wishes."

Hermione, who had not been paying too much attention to the meeting, looked up and across the table. Regulus's eyes shifted nervously to Snape at the mention of Rosier, but Snape sat still with a masked expression. Then, as if knowing Hermione was studying them, his eyes trailed over to her, causing Hermione to immediately shift her gaze.

"Alright then!" said Slughorn, clapping his hands together. "Off you go! Have a nice rest of your evening!"

The sound of chairs scrapping against the floor filled the room as everyone got to their feet. Hermione caught Snape's eye again and he stared at her curiously. Instead of entertaining him, Hermione quickly stood up, hurrying out of the room and into the dungeon corridor with Lily, Michelle, and Dirk.

"Last one of the year, can you believe it?" said Lily as they walked down the cool corridor.

"I think I'll actually miss it," said Michelle.

"Oh, I know I will," said Lily.

"It'll be exciting to know who gets invited for next year. Hopefully we'll have a livelier bunch," said Dirk.

"Good riddance Evan is gone," said Michelle with a short laugh. "Remember a few years ago when he wasn't so creepy?"

"Simpler times," sighed Lily with a faint smile.

"Goodbye, Evan Rosier. And good riddance!" said Dirk.

As they walked, Lily, Michelle, and Dirk chatted happily amongst themselves, but Hermione stayed silent, lost in her thoughts. Ever since the shack, her head seemed to be floating in the clouds. The only reason she had even gone to the last Slug Club meeting because Lily had insisted, and Hermione had trouble saying no to Lily. If it had been up to her, Hermione would have spent the remainder of the evening in her dormitory like she had been of late.

It wasn't until they reached the stairs that she realized something felt off. There was that annoying inkling as if she were forgetting something. Looking down at herself, she then realized her school bag wasn't resting against her hip as usual. She had tried to get away from Snape's dark stare and the club meeting so quickly she must have left it under the desk.

"My bag!" she said, and her three companions stopped to look at her. "I left so quickly I forgot it…"

"Go on," said Michelle with a smile, cocking her head back down the corridor. "We'll wait here for you."

"I'll be quick…"

It didn't take Hermione long to walk back down the dungeon corridor to the classroom they had had their meeting in. Surely enough her bag was still pushed under her seat. With a sigh, she crossed the room and crouched down to pick it up, brushing some of the dirt that had collected on the bottom of it.

"So, did you and my brother break up?" asked a low voice.

Having thought the room was empty, Hermione jumped up at the sound of the voice. She turned around to see Regulus standing behind her, leaning against a desk near the door. He raised an eyebrow at her startled reaction.

"Excuse me?" she asked in a pitch that was much higher than normal.

"You and my brother," Regulus repeated, now looking at her as if she were mad. Maybe she was, she wasn't really sure anymore. "Did he break up with you? Or maybe you broke up with him? Is that why you don't sit with Potter's group anymore?"

A twinge of shame ran through her body at his questions and Hermione swallowed hard.

"No," said Hermione stiffly.

"No? You're still together?" asked Regulus with surprise.

"We've never been together," said Hermione absentmindedly, then she winced. Maybe she shouldn't have said that to him. But what could their mother do if she found out Sirius had only said that to humiliate her? Burn him off the family tree twice?

But Regulus only nodded. "I had a feeling."

"Are you going to tell your mother?" Hermione asked nervously.

Regulus looked thoughtful as he considered this.

"No," he decided. "I don't think I will."

"Thank you," said Hermione genuinely.

Despite being furious with Sirius for blabbing to Remus, she didn't need things to be even more complicated for any of them. Sirius should consider himself lucky that she wasn't feeling all that spiteful in that moment.

"It's too bad, I was looking forward to your summer wedding," said Regulus with a small sigh.

Hermione just stared at him.

"That was a joke," he said seriously.

"Oh," was all Hermione could say. It was more words than she had ever heard Regulus voluntarily speak before, and it was off-putting. She had no idea what to make of it, nor of him.

"Then it must have been that Lupin," continued Regulus airily. "It would explain why you aren't joined at the hip anymore. And why he sits alone… all miserable."

If she had thought maybe Regulus had been trying to be nice to her, that idea instantly evaporated. He might as well have kicked her in the gut, whether it was his intention to hurt her or not. The thought of Remus made it feel like her stomach had dropped out of her body.

Regulus was right about one thing though; Hermione was still very much not speaking with Sirius.

While he had made it his mission to constantly try to weasel back into her good graces, Hermione had made it abundantly clear that as long as Remus was not speaking to them, she would not be speaking to him. And Remus didn't seem to be speaking to any of them, and it was now approaching two weeks since that night in the shack.

Ever since he had returned from the Hospital Wing, Remus had been taking is meals alone and sitting apart from all of them in classes, much to the interest of all the gossips. Sometimes Hermione would catch his eye, but Remus would only look at her painfully before turning away. The only times she saw him speak were when he'd leave to go on rounds with Lily, answer a question if he had been called on in class, or the one lunch where Claudia had been brave enough to try to sit with him. That one particularly bothered her.

There had been a few times Hermione had gone to speak to James about how Remus was doing, but James always seemed hesitant to speak about it. She wondered if Remus was telling him anything or if James was also being ignored as well. The latter seemed most likely.

It just brought back more guilt, and Hermione wished she had never tried to hide what she had been doing from him to begin with. As angry as she was with Sirius, she knew she had to share the blame. After all, it had been her idea to secretly learn to become an animagus and get them all involved. Now Remus wasn't even speaking to his best friends, and it was entirely her fault.

Aside from missing him, it genuinely worried her that she had drastically ruined everything, especially the timeline. If anything, Hermione would have to find a way for Remus to at least forgive James, Sirius, and Peter. There had to be a way she could manage that. The last thing Hermione wanted to do was ask Dumbledore for help; she would have to figure it out on her own. If Dumbledore didn't want her to even imply things about the future – like how the four of them had to stay friends to preserve the timeline – then she was better off not saying anything to him at all. It wasn't as though Dumbledore was making himself available to her much as of late anyway.

But right now, she'd have to focus on figuring out what Regulus wanted from her. His perceptiveness worried her, but she couldn't say there wasn't a part of her that was also curious.

"At risk of sounding rude… why do you care?" asked Hermione, narrowing her eyes at him.

"It may surprise some, but I actually pay attention to what my brother does," said Regulus, the corner of his lip curling upwards. "And by extension, his friends."

It was Hermione's turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Regulus, what is taking you so lon—"

Snape cut himself off as he appeared back in the doorway, freezing as he spotted Regulus talking to Hermione. Snape was already glaring at the two of them before Regulus could open his mouth to respond.

"I was just on my way," said Regulus with a frown.

Instead of responding to Regulus, Snape turned his attention to Hermione and focused on her with what appeared to be sharp intent.

"Dawson," Snape acknowledged icily. "I see you finally took my advice about Potter. I told you they were bad news."

A dark smirk slowly appeared on his face and her stomach sunk at the sight of it.

"You're wrong," Hermione said flatly.

The smirk fell from Snape's face, and Hermione wanted absolutely no part of whatever was about to happen. Hastily, she adjusted her bag on her shoulder and strode across the room, slipping past Snape in the doorway to get into the cool dungeon corridor.

She paused outside the door to take a breath, slightly shaken by the odd encounter. As she was about to walk away, she began to hear low voices coming from the classroom behind her.

"What do you think you are doing?" she heard Snape hiss in a low voice.

Immediately Hermione tensed up. She knew she should just continue walking, but her curiosity had gotten the best of her. Holding her breath, Hermione pressed herself against the cool, stone wall and crept closer to the door, focusing hard on the voices.

"Talking," said Regulus flatly.

"Be careful with that one. She likes to stick her nose where it doesn't belong," Snape said.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"She's perceptive. That could become a problem if you are… uncareful."

There was a scoff. "Uncareful of what? I'm not the one with something to hide yet. Don't let your paranoia and grudges get the best of you, Snape. Besides, she's just a girl."

At that comment, Hermione scowled to herself.

"Be quiet, Black. You have no idea what you're talking about," snapped Snape. "We need to keep an eye on her. Come, we should go find the others."

"You are not the boss of me, Snape," hissed the voice of Regulus.

"Suit yourself."

The sound of approaching footsteps only gave Hermione enough time to throw herself behind the nearest corner and flatten herself against another wall. Only after she could hear two sets of footsteps echoing down the dungeon halls did she carefully peer around the corner. The two Slytherins were headed the opposite way towards their common room, with Regulus trailing behind Snape.

Hermione's heart was hammering in her chest. Whatever that had been about, certainly didn't sound good. So, Snape was still keeping an eye on her… she didn't like the sound of that. Did he have nothing better to do? Not to mention him wanting to involve others. She had to assume he meant Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery, who had all been acting even stranger since Easter. But it was what Regulus had said that truly bothered her. He wasn't the one with something to hide? Then who was, and what was being hidden?

Pulling herself away from the wall, Hermione quickly set out down the corridor towards the stairs. For the first time in nearly two weeks, she may actually need to sit down with the others to talk about what she had heard. Not to mention talk with Sirius about his brother. Maybe it would be an excuse to speak with Remus again. Her chest tightened at the idea and she tried to push him from her thoughts. But trying not to think about Remus was so hard when he was always in the front of her mind. Anytime she thought of him all she could imagine was their almost kiss, and then that distraught look on his face afterwards.

She had completely forgotten Lily, Michelle, and Dirk had been waiting for her until she spotted them down the corridor. Immediately, she tried to look casual instead of rattled and slightly heartbroken.

"All set, sorry about that," mumbled Hermione quickly, showing off her bag.

"It's no problem at all," said Michelle.

"We thought you got lost," said Lily with a laugh.

Hermione laughed nervously with her as they made their way up the stairs.

When they arrived in the Entrance Hall, Lily, Michelle, and Dirk started heading towards the Great Hall to talk further after the meeting. Dirk seemed particularly excited to get some pudding, but Hermione politely turned down their offer for her to join them. Instead, she set off to find out where Sirius was.

~o~

When Hermione arrived at the common room, it was still early enough that the after dinner crowds had not congregated yet. There were only scattered groups around the room, and for a moment Hermione thought maybe the boys were still at dinner or up in their dormitory because she didn't see them in their usual spot by the fire. It wasn't until she started walking towards the stairs that she heard Sirius's all too familiar laugh coming from a more secluded back corner of the room.

As she had expected, Remus wasn't with him, which only made Hermione feel worse. More surprisingly, it was just Sirius and Peter sitting at the table with a chessboard without James in sight. This only further added to her annoyance. She had really been counting on James being with them. After all, she was only actively ignoring Sirius, and it wasn't as if she had ever enjoyed being in Peter's company. The only positive was that none of the other groups of students were anywhere near them.

"Hi," said Hermione, walking up to where Sirius and Peter were sitting.

Sirius looked up so quickly that Hermione was surprised he hadn't broken his neck in the process.

"Hermione!" he said, looking shocked to see her standing in front of them. "Are you done punishing me now?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes, staring down at them as she stood at the end of the table.

"Punishing you?"

"Yeah, like when you ignored us after the misunderstanding at the lake."

"Ah, the 'misunderstanding' where you lot dangled Severus upside down in front of half the school, showing his pants?"

"Yeah, that one," said Sirius with a smirk.

Hermione let out a long sigh. This was more difficult than she thought. She had half a mind to turn around and just head up to her dormitory, but she forced herself to stay.

"That's actually why I'm here. Where's James?" she asked, looking around the common room for his untidy black hair.

"Upstairs changing for Quidditch practice," said Peter, not meeting Hermione's eye.

"What do you mean that's why you're here?" asked Sirius with a sudden hopeful gleam in his eye. "Have you pantsed Snivellus?"

"Actually, I've just had an interesting chat with Severus and your brother," said Hermione, ignoring the second part of his question.

The excitement evaporated from Sirius's face and he suddenly looked much more serious.

"Did you now?"

"Yes, and I—"

"Hey, is Hermione talking to you again?" asked a cheery voice, and Hermione saw James walking up to them from the boys' staircase. He was grinning broadly and wearing his quidditch practice uniform.

"We're done being punished," said Sirius with a grin as James sat in a nearby chair.

"No, you're done being punished," corrected James. "She was never mad at me, just you."

Hermione crossed her arms irritably. "Actually, I will still not be forgiving him until Remus is speaking to all of us again. I've just made an exception at the moment."

The smile fell from Sirius's face and James looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"Is Remus around?" Hermione asked hopefully. "I was hoping to speak to all of you…"

"No, he's still off doing whatever he's doing," said James.

She wasn't surprised by James's answer, but Hermione's shoulders still deflated hearing it out loud. Never the matter, she'd just have to tell Remus another time then; after she fixed everything.

"Brooding," added Sirius.

Hermione glared at him.

"What's up, Hermione?" asked James. "I hope it's not too important because when Gwen gets down here we have to go to practice."

"She said there was something about my brother," said Sirius, looking at Hermione more seriously now. This caught James's attention, and his eyebrows went up.

"Yes, I'm a bit worried about some of the Slytherins to be honest… I overheard Severus and Regulus after our club meeting."

She went over the strange encounter with both Regulus and Snape in the classroom and then what she had overheard from the corridor. The three boys hung on to everything she said with wide eyes.

"Keep away from them," said James looking at her very seriously after Hermione had finished her story. "You really don't want to be on their bad sides. We all know what they're aiming to be after we graduate."

"But that's what worries me," hesitated Hermione. "They've been acting strange since Easter holiday and they're of age now… What if they've already… you know…"

It had been a thought that had been swimming around her mind, wondering if maybe some of her classmates had already joined Voldemort. Saying that thought out loud seemed a million times worse, so she just let the question hang. The Prophet had been reporting more and more stories of attacks. Everyone knew Voldemort had been growing his ranks, and Rosier, Snape, Mulciber, and Avery were all of age now. What if they had already joined? What if that was what caused the change in their behavior?

There was a flicker of realization in James's eyes as she spoke, and Hermione was sure that he must have understood what she was trying to imply.

"Then more reason not to make yourself a target," said James confidently. "If they are, then they're dangerous and the last thing you need is to give them a reason to view you as an enemy."

His comment surprised Hermione. If she had brought it up to Harry, she was sure he would have made it his mission to go on an adventure to figure it out. A part of her expected him to pull out his cloak and map and try to come up with some plan to try to expose them. Instead, James's maturity came as a shock, and Hermione only had to agree with him. She was the last person who could get involved anyway.

"But it's weird that my brother brought up that you weren't speaking with us," said Sirius. "You'd think he'd be too busy with his little Death Eater friend to notice anything else."

"He said he likes to pay attention to what you do," said Hermione.

"Like in a threatening way?" asked Sirius, a hint of worry in his voice.

Hermione shook her head. "Honestly, I didn't get that impression. And he seemed annoyed with Severus and whatever he's up to. He didn't seem to want to join him going to find Mulciber and Avery."

"Interesting," mused Sirius, frowning deeply to himself. "Interesting…"

"He hasn't been acting as strange as the others," added Hermione. "But he does seem tenser around them."

"Well, he's not of age, he just turned sixteen. Maybe that's why. Or maybe he's annoyed he's too young for the honor," scoffed Sirius darkly.

Hermione nodded to herself. It made sense that it could have been what Regulus had meant by saying he had nothing to hide yet. She knew far too well that Regulus would eventually join the Death Eaters after he left Hogwarts. In her time, Sirius had mentioned they had killed him for trying to leave after he had gotten in too deep. Maybe there was already a reluctance, or perhaps Regulus was just not particularly fond of his housemates. Either way, it was miserable to think about.

Then, a girl with incredibly curly dark hair appeared around the side of the stairs, also dressed in the Gryffindor Quidditch practice uniform. She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked around the common room. Once she managed to spot James sitting at their little secluded table, an annoyed look spread across her face.

"I'll see you guys later," said James with a reluctant grin to the three of them.

He stood up and jogged lightly to meet up with the girl that Hermione assumed was Gwendolyn Robbins. Once they were gone from the common room, Sirius let out a sad sigh.

"I wonder if she'll make him and the rest of the team go to her house again this summer," Sirius said, sounding glum at the thought.

His question sparked a new sense of worry through Hermione. Without another word, Hermione turned on her heel and started towards the Portrait Hole, leaving Sirius and Peter behind her.

"Oi, where are you going?" Sirius called after her, but he never got a response as Hermione exited the common room.

"James!" Hermione called out as she hurried towards the Grand Staircase.

James and Gwen both turned in surprise halfway down the first flight of stairs.

"Hermione?"

"Can I have a quick word?"

"Er- yeah, alright," said James before turning to the girl beside him. "I'll meet you at the pitch, Gwen."

Another look of annoyance crossed the girl's face and there was accusation in her eyes as she stared at Hermione. Hermione was beginning to wonder if she ever smiled.

"Okay, I'll tell the rest of the team you're on your way. Just don't be too late, we only have the pitch booked until eight…" Gwen said slowly with a nod. She looked at both of them suspiciously before continuing down the stairs.

When she was out of earshot, James walked back up to where Hermione stood on the platform and grinned apologetically.

"Don't mind her. She's been a bit annoyed ever since Easter holiday. She thinks we should have stayed at the castle for practice like Ravenclaw did," explained James.

Of course his worry was Quidditch, not that she could blame him with the final match rapidly approaching. But bringing up the holiday was exactly the direction she wanted their conversation to go in.

"That's what I needed to ask you about," started Hermione. "With summer holiday coming up and everything being… off… between everyone—"

"You don't have to worry, Hermione," said James, interrupting her. "You're still welcome to spend it at my house."

Relief went through Hermione's body and she let out a heavy breath. At least that was settled.

"You don't mind?"

James made a face as if he couldn't believe she had asked that.

"Why would I mind? I want you to come with us!" he said. He playfully punching her in the shoulder and Hermione smiled gratefully. "But just remember that you'll also be spending it with Sirius."

Hermione's smile dropped into a frown and James laughed.

"I'll let you stew with that information," chuckled James. "I really need to get to the pitch—"

"There's actually something else…" interjected Hermione, looking nervously around them, "Here, follow me," she said, and then led James down to a more secluded section of the corridor. When she was sure no one was near them, she continued, "What's the plan with the potion?"

James visibly hesitated, shifting slightly in place. "I wasn't sure you still wanted to continue with it."

"I'm not sure," admitted Hermione. "Of course, I'd like to complete it after all the work we put into it… but something about it feels wrong."

"Would you go forward with it if he didn't approve?" asked James, raising an eyebrow at her.

It was Hermione's turn to hesitate now, because she wasn't entirely sure of her answer. While she would love to have the skill regardless of whether or not Remus was okay with her transforming with them, the entire point of learning it was to be there for him. Learning it, knowing how much it would hurt him, felt inappropriate. On the other hand, she already had the double heartbeat; it would be a waste to never fully go through with it.

"I'll need to speak to him about it," said Hermione lightly. "If he ever speaks to me again."

James gave her a sad smile.

"Are you still doing the spell?"

"Every morning and night. The heartbeat is stronger," confirmed Hermione.

She could feel it then, beating in the back of her chest. It was going faster now as she spoke to James, and Hermione had the suspicion it was due to her ever growing guilt whenever she thought of Remus. Eventually he would have to speak with all of them again. He had to. She wouldn't know what she would do with herself if he didn't.

"Then you're almost done. You just need to speak to Moony," said James.

"Has he said anything to you about it?" asked Hermione tentatively. "Or anything at all?"

"Ah, Hermione… I don't know…" groaned James, looking nervous.

"So he has," she concluded.

James let out a huff. "He's obviously not been the most talkative lately… but if I had to guess, it seems like he probably believes – or at least hopes – that if he stays away from you then you'll give up on wanting to transform."

"You think he believes I'd just give up months of work?"

James shrugged. "I'm not really sure, he's not speaking to us either. It's very awkward in the dormitory."

"He hates me now, doesn't he," mumbled Hermione, feeling something catch in the back of her throat.

James shook his head and put a hand on Hermione's shoulder. His hazel eyes bore into her own and he looked so earnest as he firmly said, "Hermione, one thing I know for sure is that Remus definitely doesn't hate you. I don't think he ever could. I think in some backwards way he thinks he's protecting you."

"I don't need protecting," muttered Hermione.

"He doesn't see it like that. He thinks you're blatantly walking into danger."

"I know, I know…"

"You really should try talking to him."

"Do you think he would he even want to speak to me?" Hermione asked bleakly. There had made countless times over the last week and a half where she had wanted more than anything to talk things over, but he never even held her gaze for longer than a few moments. If he didn't even want to look at her what would make him want to speak to her?

"I think he would."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

"Because all he does is stare in your direction when you aren't looking."

At that, the second heartbeat was louder than ever in her chest. She wondered if James was able to hear it or not.

"Is he up in your dormitory?" she asked, gesturing down the corridor towards the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"No, I'm not sure where he is to be honest. Sometimes he just likes to disappear."

"I understand the feeling," mumbled Hermione, and James gave her a sympathetic smile.

A part of her had certainly wanted to disappear after everything that had happened, but she didn't want Remus to feel that way at all. All of this was her fault, and if she couldn't get him to speak with the others again, who knows what that could mean for the future.

But the way James said he would disappear, made Hermione think of something. If he did just disappear, Hermione had a good feeling as to where he might go, and if her assumption was correct, maybe it meant Remus did want to be found. Maybe he was waiting for her to go to him.

"Hermione? James?"

Lily was standing at the end of the corridor, looking at her and James quizzically.

Realizing how close she and James were standing, Hermione took an automatic step back while James practically threw himself away from her as Lily walked towards them.

"Lily!" said James, immediately beaming at her. His hand automatically ran through his hair. "What are you up to?"

"Well, we had Slug Club and now I just came from the Great Hall with Michelle and Dirk. What are you guys up to?" she asked with a curious smirk.

"Just chatting," said James innocently, giving Lily a brilliant smile.

"I can see that," chuckled Lily.

"But I do need to get to Quidditch practice before Gwen murders me," said James, suddenly looking nervous as he looked down at his watch.

"Who's captain, you or her?" asked Lily with another laugh.

"You know, sometimes I ask myself that same question," said James shaking his head.

"Well, you better get going then," said Lily with a grin, crossing her arms casually. "Mary said Marcus has been bragging about how Ravenclaw is going to wipe the pitch with Gryffindor to get the cup."

James raised an eyebrow at her. "Donner said that, huh? I guess we'll have to see about that."

James cheekily smirked at Lily as he walked past her and Hermione back towards the Grand Staircase.

"We'll talk later, alright?" he said, calling over his shoulder to Hermione.

"Yeah, alright," mumbled Hermione with a frown as James disappeared from sight.

Hermione turned to look at Lily who was smiling playfully at her.

"You know, with the way the two of you jumped apart when I walked down the corridor, I can now understand why Dirk assumed what he did," grinned Lily.

"Oh, not you too," grimaced Hermione, starting to rub her temples. "We're only friends."

"Believe me, Hermione, I know that," said Lily with a laugh. Her eyes twinkled as she grinned at her. "I was just teasing. You should have seen the looks on both of your faces. Ha! I wish Mary had been here with her camera."

"Now I'm glad she wasn't here," sighed Hermione. "I was just double checking that there was still a room for me at the Potters' this summer."

"You're staying with James again? Are your parents still away?" asked Lily, looking at her sadly.

"Yeah, they are," mumbled Hermione, feeling a pit in her stomach form at the thought of her parents. She hadn't seen them since right before she went to Grimmauld Place after her fourth year ended, nearly two years ago now. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. That must be hard," said Lily, sounding like she truly meant it. "So, do you still have a room there?"

"Yes, even if things are weird with everyone at the moment, he's still kind enough to let me stay," said Hermione.

Lily nodded understandingly. Although Hermione had never explained to Lily what had happened, for obvious reasons, Lily had been polite enough to not try to force any information out of her, which Hermione was grateful for.

"James really had matured so much this year. It's almost like he's a different person," said Lily thoughtfully. "You know, he joined me every time I went to visit Mary in hospital? Not once did he even attempt to ask me out."

"That's definitely an improvement. You seemed to hate him at the beginning of the school year," said Hermione, smiling faintly at the memories of all the scowls Lily had given James.

Lily shook her head. "I never hated him. He just drove me up a wall! It was always like talking to a toddler."

"And now?" asked Hermione with a smirk.

"And now it's like he's finally grown into his age," said Lily, nodding approvingly. She began walking down the corridor back towards the Gryffindor Common Room and Hermione fell into step beside her. "It's really nice of James to let you stay with him. But if something changes you can always stay with me. Or if you ever needed a break from all the magic and spending your days with James and Sirius, you can join me in the muggle world."

"Really?" asked Hermione.

"Of course! My parents wouldn't mind and you're more than welcome."

The invitation greatly intrigued her, and Hermione grinned at Lily. "That actually does sound nice."

Lily's face broke into a huge grin. "Brilliant! We'll have to work out the details!"

Together, they made their way into the common room and headed towards the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

When they entered their room, Mary was nowhere to be seen. Hermione assumed she must have been with Marcus. For some reason the idea of Mary being off with her boyfriend just filled Hermione with sadness. Of course she was happy for Mary, but Hermione couldn't stop herself from wondering if she hadn't messed up so badly, if she would have been somewhere with Remus. Obviously not in the same way Mary and Marcus spent time, but Hermione just yearned for that comfort Remus always brought to her when they were alone. Whether it be the library, the couches by the fire downstairs, their room, or even that abandoned classroom where they would joke about hiding away like forbidden lovers. That joke didn't seem all that funny anymore.

Crossing the silent room, Hermione dropped her bag at the side of her bed and sat down. She really had to get a hold of herself. Constantly throwing herself pity parties was getting her nowhere. She had cried enough tears this past year for a lifetime.

Lily was now sitting cross-legged on her bed and looking at Hermione sadly.

"I haven't wanted to pry, Hermione," started Lily tentatively. "But you can always talk to me about anything. You mean a lot to me, and I hate to see you so sad."

A great sense of warmth went through Hermione's chest as she looked into Lily's kind eyes. The amount of compassion and patience she had was unmatched and Hermione felt a wave of affection for the girl go through her.

In that moment, Hermione wanted nothing more than to tell Lily everything. To tell her about her fight with Remus, and how hard it was to pretend that the feelings she had been developing for him did not exist. That it was eating her alive to be keeping so many secrets from him and making him feel as though his feelings were not reciprocated. For some reason, she just knew that Lily would know what to say to her, but what reason could Hermione possibly give her to explain why she couldn't tell Remus how she felt? It wasn't as though she could tell Lily she was from the future, even if in that moment she desperately wanted to tell her all about that as well.

"I messed up," muttered Hermione, keeping it vague but truthful.

"With Remus?" Lily asked hesitantly.

All Hermione could do was slowly nod.

Gracefully, Lily hopped off of her bed and bounced down beside her on Hermione's bed. She reached her arm around her shoulders and pulled Hermione into a side hug, leaning her head on her shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Lily.

Hermione shook her head and said nothing.

"You know, I don't think I ever properly thanked you for all you and Mary did for me after everything that happened between me and Severus," said Lily.

It felt like such an arbitrary thing for Lily to say in that moment and Hermione looked down at her with confusion.

"You don't have to thank me for that. That was so long ago, why do you bring it up now?"

"Because I know something is going on with you and the others," said Lily softly, "I know you haven't wanted to talk about it, and I completely understand if you need time to yourself. You and Mary were there for me, I just want you to know that Mary and I are here for you."

"I know. I'm glad you're here," said Hermione, feeling nearly overwhelmed by Lily's words. More than ever she wanted to tell her about everything.

"If you'd like, I can always speak to Remus on our next set of rounds," suggested Lily.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that," said Hermione quickly.

"Alright. But I'm here if you ever need anything."

"Thank you, Lily," said Hermione, smiling down at her on her shoulder. Lily grinned brilliantly back up at her and took Hermione's hand in her own.

"If anyone can find a way to fix things, it's you," said Lily, giving her hand a squeeze.

Hermione sighed and leaned her head against Lily's.

"I hope you're right."