AUTHOR'S NOTE:

As always, thank you for the reviews! I always love hearing from those who are reading, especially the newer readers who have tuned in. You may notice that this is an Ella chapter where it should be an Artie chapter... As the story begins to wind to a close, I wanted to make sure that we end it with chapters from Artie and Sebastian's points-of-view, since they are our main characters. Sadly, the end of this story is in sight! :(

Chapter 19: In Your Eyes

ELLA

"Hey, Artie?" Ella cautiously called, gently knocking on his bedroom door. "It's me. Can… Can I come in?"

When Griffin asked her to be the one to go after Artie, Ella had initially been hesitant. She'd been on his bad side earlier, after dropping the bomb that she intended on joining the Cheerios next year when she got to high school. But now that it seemed like it was Sebastian that Artie was upset with and not her, Ella did as Griff asked, hoping that spending some time alone with Artie might help their situation. After giving her brother what she deemed a sufficient amount of time to calm down, Ella mustered up the courage to knock on his door.

She heard the familiar rattling sound that his chair makes and the subtle squeak of rubber wheels on the hardwood floor moments before he opened the door.

He didn't say anything, just rolled back a pace and gestured for her to come inside. She stepped in and he closed the door behind her. Ella took a seat on Artie's crisply made bed, but he did no such thing.

"He never knows when to quit it. He always takes everything three steps too far," Artie fumed, doing his version of angry pacing– wheeling the length of his bedroom before promptly pivoting and heading back in the other direction. "I can't stand him!"

"Is a dumb recap of the other night really worth ruining your chance at a relationship with him, though?" Ella dared to wonder out loud. "Someone who is going to be a constant in your life for the rest of eternity? I just think you should think for a while before you make a costly decision like that, Artie. You may regret that someday."

"Believe me, I won't regret it," Artie retorted. "It's not even just about what he said right now."

"So then why are you really upset?" Ella asked in her trademark blunt-but-supportive way. "What has he done that you deem to be that unforgivable? Did he kill somebody?"

"Well, no, but–"

"So? What gives?"

Artie sighed.

"Before Mom and Harrison got engaged, he was just difficult. But ever since, he's been intolerable. First, there was all of the Michael Jackson crap. We did Jackson songs for Sectionals, then Blaine let it slip that we were planning on doing his music for Regionals too. Sebastian heard what our plan was, then once The Warblers drew first position, he was determined to steal our idea and screw us over," Artie told her. "Then that led to a sing-off in a parking garage, Blaine getting a rock salt-tainted slushie to the face, which caused him to need eye surgery. He also got Santana pretty bad too. I was her getaway driver that day, and my car still smells like cherries."

"You dueled in a parking garage?" Ella parroted, not having heard this part of the story before. "Where?"

"The details aren't important," Artie replied, waving off her question. "Then after all of that, I got a message from some kid I didn't know– a wheelchair user who goes to Dalton. He told me that he auditioned for The Warblers, and when I asked Sebastian about it, I found out that they were going to cut him because of his chair."

He had stopped his pacing briefly, but as he ranted and began to get worked up again, he'd resumed the action, using his hands to gesture absurdly between pushes on his wheels as he talked. Ella was silent, letting Artie say what he needed to say.

"So, of course, I let him have it. I gave him a lecture on ableism. He deserved that. In order to really get my point across, I told him everything about the accident. And gymnastics. Showed him the videos from before and the pictures from after. And in return, he told me about his mom."

Artie's voice softened as he allowed himself to coast to a stop on the other side of the room. Ella watched him furrow his eyebrows together as he tried to make sense of something in his head before glancing back over at her and finally meeting her eyes.

"I thought that maybe we were really getting somewhere, you know? And after the first part of this weekend, I really felt like we were turning a corner." He chuckled and shook his head, as if to say, 'How silly of me to think that'.

"But then today happened. Like, did he have to go there? He probably just said it all to push my buttons. To get a reaction out of me. Well, it worked! I hope he's happy!" Artie raised his voice and yelled at the ceiling, as Sebastian's bedroom was directly above his. Artie shook his head before lowering his voice back to a normal level. "He's such an asshole."

"Do you want my opinion?" Ella cut in, unable to listen to any more of this.

"Of course I do," Artie assured her, seemingly having forgotten about holding a grudge against her.

"I think you want to believe that your anger is all stemming from Glee Club, but I don't think it is," Ella said, getting straight to the point. "I mean, Seb can be an asshole, sure, but so can you!"

"I–"

"I think you're embarrassed," Ella continued, determined not to let Artie get a word in. "You're a private person, and I think you're uncomfortable that he saw you in such a… vulnerable moment, even though you don't know him that well yet. I've spent years studying you and looking up to you, Artie, and I see how you try to mask everything you feel. How you don't want anybody to see you as anything but someone who is overly happy and confident all the time. But you don't have to be that way."

Artie scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"We all struggle, Artie. And all of our struggles may… may look different, but that's okay. He's family now. Almost. I'm sure he'll witness something worse someday, and–"

"Don't say that."

"Well?"

Artie paused and dropped his gaze to his lap, where his hands were firmly gripping his thighs. Ella watched quietly. She was awaiting his response, but nothing could have prepared her for the brutally honest confession that Artie gave a moment later, in a smaller voice, one that she'd only heard him use on very rare occasions.

"For once in my life, I'd like to be just a normal guy. I'm sick of being someone people meet and then immediately feel sorry for."

"You're not," She quickly assured him. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow, an expression that clearly said, 'Don't lie to me'. She didn't want to minimize his feelings, but as his sister, she knew that what he'd just said was the furthest thing from the truth. "Artie, I'm telling you the truth. I am the luckiest person in the entire world that I get to be your sister. Nobody has ever been there for me the way that you have."

Artie looked like he didn't believe her, which broke her heart even more. She wished so badly that Artie could see himself the way she saw him. Perfect and admirable, just the way he is.

Ella had been so young when he'd gotten injured that she hadn't really understood that life had changed so drastically for him. Aside from his cool new mode of transportation, he still acted like the same brother she'd always known: attentive, caring, and very loving.

"Do you… do you remember when I got the flu from someone in my preschool class?"

He probably wanted to ask something snarky like, 'Why would I remember that?!", but instead he just shook his head.

"Well, it was right after you'd gotten home from rehab, and you looked after me. And I've never forgotten it."

Lima, Ohio

January 2003

"Here you go, baby," Nancy said, handing Ella a water bottle and tucking her daughter's unruly brown hair behind her ears so that it was out of her face.

Ella's classroom had had an outbreak of the flu, and consequently, Ella was on her second sick day in a row. Artie– who'd only just 'graduated' from his inpatient rehab program a few weeks before– wasn't going to return to school for the rest of the school year, so he seemed excited to have someone else at home with him besides their mother. Ella had hardly moved from the couch since she'd come down with the sickness, and Artie had been right by her side the whole time. He didn't even complain about the endless loop of Dora the Explorer that had been playing on the TV for the last few days. He just cared about keeping his little sister company.

"I'll stay with her, Mommy," Artie assured her, ever the natural caregiver. After having just spent the last several months being cared for, one could only assume that he sought out every opportunity to be the one doing the caring. "If you want to go do something else. I'm sure you're busy. I'm almost nine, I can babysit her."

"I'm not a baby!" Ella piped up. Her illness had all but wiped her out for the last few days, but she had enough strength left in her to protest being called a baby. That had been her 'thing' over the last few months: she was sick of being told she was too young or too little to do the things that her brothers got to do. She was very adamant that being four-and-a-half meant that she was no longer to be considered a baby.

"You're a very good helper, Artie," Nancy told him, and he beamed. "I am a little bit behind on laundry… Do you promise you'll give me a shout if you need anything?"

Artie nodded vigorously, excited by the new responsibility he'd been given. With that, Nancy gave both of her children a kiss on the forehead before disappearing into the basement to tend to the growing piles of laundry that tended to accumulate when you had a husband and three young children.

Artie sat beside Ella on the couch, holding her hand and stroking her hair, doing all the things that his mother had done for him that he had liked when he'd been in the hospital. Since she wasn't feeling very well, Ella wasn't acting like her usual boisterous self. She just felt lousy, but Artie's constant presence was comforting to her.

"Would you like some more crackers?" Artie offered when the current episode of Dora ended. "I think Mom left the package of saltines on the kitchen table. I can reach those if you want them."

Ella shook her head and yawned. "I want to go to bed."

"You can go to bed," Artie told her, making a reach for his chair. His physical therapist, Kyle, always warned him not to rush when he transferred, and he was careful not to. "I'll turn off the TV and you can take a nap."

"No. I want to go upstairs and sleep in my big girl bed," Ella told him. "I want you to come."

Artie hesitated. "El, I can't. My chair can't go upstairs."

Ella's face fell and there was a new feeling in her belly. Not one that was telling her that she needed to throw up, but one that made her feel kind of sad. "But I want you to," She whined, frowning.

"I know you do. I'm sorry. I just can't," Artie repeated, twisting his mouth to the side as he adjusted his glasses. "If you want to, you can take a nap in my bed. I can come with you there…"

Ella shook her head and tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Ella, please don't cry," Artie pleaded, quickly trying to enact some damage control before their mother heard her wails and came upstairs to see what was wrong. "Come here," He told her, pulling her into his lap.

Ella did as she was told, climbing on top of Artie's thighs and settling into his embrace. She was in her purple Disney princess nightgown and dragged her blankie along with her, sucking her thumb and leaning against Artie's chest. The rhythmic sound of his heart beating calmed her down some.

"Okay… I guess I can try to come up there," Artie said warily, surely just giving in so that she would smile. "I don't know how quite yet, but I am going to figure it out, okay? You don't need to be upset."

Ella nodded and sniffled as Artie gave her a ride from the living room through the kitchen and into the foyer, stopping only when he'd reached the bottom of the stairs. There, he locked his wheels in place and stared up at the daunting task that awaited him. The one and only time he'd been upstairs since the accident, Griffin had given him a piggy-back. Now that he was on his own, those stairs had never looked so terrifying.

"Alright, you can walk upstairs on your own and I'll meet you in your room, okay?" Artie told her.

Had Ella been a little bit older, she might have warned him to be careful transferring from his chair to the bottom stair– which was wooden, save for the thin carpeting that covered it. But being four-and-a-half, Ella didn't have this thought. Instead, she held onto the railing with one hand and her beloved blanket with the other, only pausing briefly halfway up the staircase.

"Are you coming?" She asked as she looked over her shoulder, finding him still sitting on the first stair, blissfully unaware of how difficult it was for him now.

"Yeah, it's gonna take me a little while, though," Artie warned her. "I've never tried climbing up the stairs before."

It seemed to Ella like Artie didn't even know where to begin. First, he tried ascending them facing forward, but pretty quickly realized that it wasn't going to work. He let out a huff in frustration. The second method he tried was based on the technique he'd developed for scooting short distances when he wasn't in his chair; it involved placing his hands behind him and pulling himself up and backward. The stairs complicated it a bit, but they also helped him to get in a really good tricep workout. Very slowly, he inched his way up the stairs, alternating between pushing himself up one step at a time and pulling up his legs and adjusting them on the stair below.

Quietly, Ella watched from the top of the stairs, developing patience in real-time, and realizing that just because there was a barrier in her brother's way, it didn't mean that he couldn't do something.

When he finally reached the top of the stairs, Artie scooted the short distance to Ella's bedroom. He was visibly exhausted, but also proud of himself once he made it, stopping for a moment to catch his breath and rest his arms before pulling himself onto his sister's bed.

"You did it!" Ella exclaimed, her cheery attitude reappearing for the first time since she'd gotten sick. "Now you can come play dollies in my room again!"

Artie nodded, arranging his legs in front of him on her child-sized mattress. It was a tight squeeze for the two of them, but they made do. "Take a rest now, okay?" He told her gently. "I'm tired, so I'm gonna rest too. Maybe by the time you wake up, you'll feel a bit better."

Ella listened to her brother and closed her eyes. Almost immediately, she dozed off, holding her older brother's hand in hers.

Looking back on it, that memory was more meaningful to Ella than ever before, now that she'd gotten older and understood more. She now knew that Artie was extra cautious about preventing himself from getting sick, as something as common as the flu could progress and cause complications that could put him in the hospital. Having matured, Ella was even more grateful for her nurturing older brother who had never put his own needs above anyone else's, even when it meant putting his own health at risk.

It wasn't until many years later that she would look back on that random sick day when his kindness had such an impact on her and be able to recognize the sacrifices he'd made. Artie was deep in thought, but it seemed like he was thinking the same thing. Even though they'd both been so young at the time, Ella was glad that she was able to thank him for that so many years later.

"Mom said that she couldn't find you for a few minutes, then she went into the foyer and saw your empty chair parked at the bottom of the stairs. She came up to my room and found you asleep in my kiddie bed with me," Ella said with a small smile that Artie was able to bring himself to match. "You've always cared more for me than you have for yourself. You are an incredible person, Artie, and I know that other people are able to look past the chair and see that too."

He was quiet for a moment, presumably letting her words sink in before he glanced up and met her eyes, asking, "When did you grow up?".

Ella shrugged. "I'm just observant, is all. And I've been watching you and Seb go at it for weeks now, I can see what gets you riled up. There are patterns there. Maybe if you slowed down every once in a while, you'd see them too."

She paused then, thinking about how best to approach the next subject that had been on her mind, as Artie sat quietly in front of her.

"Can I ask you something?"

Artie nodded.

"Will you be honest with me?"

"That depends on what your question is," Artie quipped, bringing a smirk to his face for the first time all afternoon.

"Do you feel… threatened? By Sebastian?"

Artie stopped in his tracks. For someone so readable at every given moment, it took a moment for Ella to register the look on his face. His eyes widened and she watched as he pressed his lips together and twisted his mouth to the side, looking down at his lap. Ella guessed that he hadn't realized that that's how he was feeling until she had pointed it out. His hesitation spoke volumes, confirming Ella's question without him even having verbalized it.

Ella stood up from where she sat and moved to another spot on his bed to be closer to him before sitting down again.

"I don't think I would have phrased it like that, but… yeah, I guess so," Artie admitted. "Sebastian's presence lately– watching him interact with you and Griff– has been stirring up some complicated emotions."

His honesty was a special treat, as Ella knew that he'd much rather pretend that everything was fine than open the Pandora's Box of his emotions.

"Hearing that you and Sebastian went on a bike ride yesterday, and even watching you guys argue in the car… I've been getting jealous," He confessed. "Seeing you bond with another guy my age who can do all of these things with you that I can't do? I underestimated how hard that would be to watch."

"Nobody could ever replace you, though. You know that, right?" Ella asked, reaching for one of Artie's hands. "Never in a million years. You will always be my favorite person in the world, the one I look up to more than anyone else. Even though this afternoon may not have exactly shown that."

Artie's eyes filled with tears and he began blinking quickly, and Ella knew that he was trying to stop the tears from falling. When that didn't work, he sniffled and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand before replacing his glasses on the bridge of his nose. Ella squeezed his hand to show her support during such a rare emotional break for him.

"Um, yeah, back to what happened between us this afternoon…" Artie said, circling back around to the news that had put him in this overwhelmed funk to begin with. Ella held her breath. Comforting Artie about things that had nothing to do with her was one thing, but facing their problems head-on was a completely different story.

"I may have… way overreacted," He acknowledged reluctantly. "The Cheerios would be lucky to have someone like you on their team. Of course, I have my reservations… You're pretty small, so I'm sure you'd be a flyer. And above everything else, I don't want you to get hurt. Surely, you can understand that."

"But being a Cheerio is a dream of mine," Ella insisted. "I can't not follow my dreams because there's a little bit of fear there."

"I know you can't," Artie sighed. "For the record, I wasn't upset with you earlier because I hate the Cheerios. I was upset with myself for making you feel like you had to keep something you're interested in from me. I'm sorry you felt like you had to go behind my back about something like this. That was my fault, and it won't happen again. I can promise you that."

Now it was Ella's eyes that were getting watery. She was unable to stop herself from throwing her arms around him and laying her head on his shoulder.

"I'll go back to my gymnastics coach roots and help you train for your tryout too if you want, even though that's still a few months away," Artie offered. "I know you've already been talking to Santana, but I'll ask Quinn if she'll help too. She'll be able to tell you exactly what Coach Sue looks for in her girls."

As he talked, Ella couldn't help but notice that it sounded like he was even beginning to get excited about this idea now.

"I'll be your biggest supporter when you're out there in that uniform. Making up for lost time, and all that. Even cheerleaders need cheerleaders, right?" He joked, to which Ella nodded. "I want you to be happy, whatever that looks like."

Ella couldn't believe she was lucky enough to have two– erm, three– older brothers who would do anything to ensure her happiness.

"I don't want to ruin this moment, so don't hate me for saying this," She warned Artie. "But you really should try to work things out with Sebastian. I think he's… trying. Sometimes he doesn't have a filter or may say the wrong thing, but I just think he doesn't know how to fit in just yet. I think you've gotta give him some time. I mean, after spending some time with him one on one, he's really not so bad. I think you'd like him if you gave him a chance to prove himself."

Artie nodded, acknowledging that she was right that he needed to give Sebastian another chance. After all, this was a learning curve for all four of the kids. Ella had a feeling that he knew it wasn't fair to attribute so much blame to Sebastian when he was also at fault. He waved her over, signaling that he wanted to give her a hug, which Ella was more than grateful to do, after the afternoon they'd had.

"Hey, what the hell was that back there?!" Griffin demanded, barging into Artie's bedroom without knocking and startling both Ella and Artie alike. "You don't want to be coddled? Fine, I won't coddle you. Come off it, Artie."

"Listen, Griff, I–"

"Sebastian doesn't sidestep around anyone's feelings. He doesn't think twice before he opens his mouth, and sure, sometimes that may lead to feelings getting hurt or things being taken the wrong way," Griffin continued, preventing Artie from getting a word in. Fast talking was a trait that all three Abrams kids possessed (and put to good use frequently). "But he also may just be…"

"The first guy in a long time who doesn't treat me differently," Artie finished, evidently beginning to see Griffin's point. "One way or the other."

Griff nodded, finally using the moment to catch his breath. "Think with your brain, Artie, not your feelings. Embarrassment comes and goes, but relationships don't. You get out of them what you put into them."

"He feels awful, by the way," Griffin added after a moment. "Like, curled-up-in-the-fetal-position-and-holding-back-tears awful."

"Fine, alright?" Artie conceded, holding up a hand to stop Griffin from lecturing him any longer. "I'll talk to him."