A Splatastic Family: Misadventures in Inkopolis
Episode 04: Squidbeak Platoon's Performance Meeting

~ Inkopolis City | Park ~

About a day later came the scheduled "employee review meeting" that was to be held by the members of the New Squidbeak Platoon, led by Cap'n Cuttlefish and the "original" Agent 3. Attending the gathering were the likes of Bleu, Callie, Marie, Pyke and Ranha as well as Koda, the sole Octoling of the group. They sat around a foldout table in a secluded location with Cuttlefish and "Captain Three" towards the far right side, observing the others. Ranha sat once again in the hood of Pyke's jacket.

"All right, Platoon members. I hope you haven't forgotten the reason we invited you all here, have ye?" Cuttlefish asked. Callie and Marie sighed simultaneously as Bleu smirked and shook his head. Koda seemed disinterested as he looked away with arms tucked behind his head and feet on the table while Pyke looked confused.

"WE KNOW, GRANDPA. WE KNOW." the girls said in unison.

"Geez, gramps! No offense…but do we really need these "staff review meetings" every once in a while? You technically aren't even the captain anymore. Three is." Callie asked. Pyke turned his head, believing Callie mentioned his name, before Bleu placed a hand on his wrist.

"No. Not you, Pyke. She means the "original" Agent Three. He's the one seated next to Cuttlefish." Bleu explained.

"O-Oh." Pyke muttered. Just then, Marie caught glimpse of Koda's posture.

"Uhh…Koda? Can you kindly take your feet off the table?" she asked. The Octoling merely huffed and did as she said, resting his arms against the table top afterwards.

"What do we need these meetings for again? It's not like anything catastrophic has happened in Inkopolis lately." he asked. Bleu lightly nodded, saying he agreed while Marie sighed.

"It's a "performance review", you two. Like it or not…we HAVE to do it at least once a year." she explained while reclining back in her seat. Across the table, Callie was already starting to zone out as she cocked her head back and begun snoring. Pyke was left totally stunned.

"W-Wow. And…I thought…Captain….REALLY liked sleeping." he said in confusion, making the others laugh.

"Don't mind Callie. She has a one track mind…and if nothing interests said mind, she goes into "Sleep Mode" until we wake her up." Marie explained "Either way, let's get this over with. So…gramps. Who's first on the chopping block?" Cuttlefish glanced her way.

"Heh? What "chopping block"? Nobody's getting turned to sushi on my watch!" he asked, freaking out slightly towards the end. Next to him, Captain Three groaned and snatched away the clipboard before looking it over.

"First up…is our newest recruit, the NEW Agent Three. Pyke…right?" he asked. Pyke lightly gasped, turning away nervously.

"H-Hey. Take it easy on him, Ace. He's still not used to being the center of attention. But…Marie and I have been making progress with getting him adjusted to life here." Bleu intervened. Marie nodded as well while Ace looked over the paperwork.

"I wasn't going to say anything negative about him. Cuttlefish wrote down a few notes of how beneficial he was with the Alterna mission." the squid replied "And I got to admit that he surprised me too. Didn't think I'd see the day an Inkling and Salmonid got along. Cuttlefish also noted how he thinks befriending the salmon could be an asset to the Platoon." Pyke merely glimpsed back before he felt Bleu's hand atop his head. He gave him a congratulatory head rub which brought a smile to his face.

"Any idea how we go about that, though? Grizz Co's involvement in the Fuzzy Ooze chaos hasn't been made public knowledge yet…and I'm worried about how the majority of citizens will react to the news." Marie asked. Setting aside the clipboard, Ace leaned back and started to brainstorm.

"I think…we need to make things simple and clear for when we do go public about Mr. Grizz. I know I definitely had "awkward feelings" when I heard my old boss was a lunatic obsessed with wiping out our kind…all to fix some century old blunder." Bleu intervened "Ugh! I STILL wish I got to be the one to put down that grizzly jerk! After all…I helped contribute to his Gold Egg collection before I joined the Platoon!" Pyke and Marie uncomfortably watched Bleu bang his hand against the table out of frustration, the shake enough to wake Callie and pop her snot bubble.

"H-Huh?! Who?! What happened?!" Callie yelled in a slur. She received awkward glares from the others, Cuttlefish simply looking on blankly.

"Nice of you to rejoin the conversation, Agent One." Ace sighed with a headshake. Marie rested a hand atop Bleu's.

"It's okay, Bleu. Take it easy. I'm sure…in one way or another, your good karma will come around to reward you." she explained "The fact you're the one who insisted we try and work with the Salmonid is honorable enough." Ace nodded in agreement, as did Cuttlefish and Koda.

"But…that leaves the question about what to do with Grizz Co. and their facilities." Koda stated "I don't think the Squidbeak Platoon have the right to shut down locations." Marie explained that she was working on a formal letter to submit to Squid City Hall with Callie and Cuttlefish, attempting to address Grizz's insane plan.

"If possible, should we find any Golden Eggs still left in any of Grizz's facilities, I think we should have someone return them to the wild. Maybe after…we can find a way to isolate Inkopolis from their territory as to not provoke them." Bleu added. Pyke glimpsed at the sleepy Ranha in his hood before Bleu noticed.

"Oh! That's not to say I'm telling you to give up your buddy. What I meant was this would give the full grown salmon a sense of peace as no one is coming into their turf to take anything. Once things iron out, we can work on communication." Bleu continued, adjusting his words. But Koda merely huffed.

"You think we can communicate with a bunch of FISH? It MIGHT be true that everyone living in Inkopolis learned to share a common language…but Salmonid are, for the most part, mindless wild creatures." Koda said. But Callie chimed in with a smirk.

"Wild creatures that know how to operate a TON of robotic gizmos! Or have you NOT seen the Steel Eel or Lid Slammer?" she asked, making Koda groan.

"Can we put aside this "fish talk" and just move on with the meeting?" he asked. Ace merely shrugged and flipped to the next page of the clipboard.

"Okay then. Next order of business is…uhhh…ascertain any further use out of the "Agent Four Factopedia" with Agent Two?" he baffingly asked. Feeling she knew who wrote it, Marie quickly yanked the clipboard from Ace and eyed Callie. Her cousin froze up from the mere sight of her eyes.

"CALLIE…what the flubbin' heck is THIS?!" she asked, showing her the clipboard.

"W-What?! I was only asking since…it's taking up space…on our bookshelf back home. Y-You and Bleu are an item now…so I figured you…wouldn't need it." she explained while glancing back and forth. Marie heavily groaned.

"This isn't something you bring up in a PERFORMANCE REVIEW, dear cousin!" she proclaimed while slapping the board against the table. The loud sound scared Callie enough into tumbling over in her chair. Everyone watched in shock.

"Are…things….like this?" Pyke asked, turning to Bleu. The squid merely shook his head.

"Not all the time. Uhhh…Marie? What's a "Factopedia" and why is it named after me?" he asked. Marie's face suddenly turned beet red before she grabbed tightly to his shirt.

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, I SWEAR!" she shrieked while aggresively shaking him "J-JUST FORGET CALLIE EVER OPENED HER BIG MOUTH!" Callie slowly rose from the ground, groaning in pain while rubbing the back of her head.

"Okay. Note to self. Do not pull pranks on Marie during these kind of meetings." Callie thought, not wanting Marie to hear. Eventually, Bleu managed to calm down Marie enough for her to begin thinking rationally again. She thanked him after taking in many continuous deep breaths.

"Uhhh…how about we pick this up another day? I think….my "fellow Agent" needs to de-stress." Bleu asked. Ace merely shrugged.

"Whatever. These are usually a waste of time anyway." Ace said. Koda smirked.

"Finally. Someone said something that makes SENSE." he added.

END OF EPISODE