I can't believe this is the five year anniversary of this fic (though I've only been actively writing it for exactly three). I wanted to write about Harry's fifth birthday, since it's this fic's fifth birthday, but that would be skipping three months of the story.
This chapter really ran away from me in a few unexpected directions but it was so fun to write. I've been trying to avoid pop culture references, but this chapter has some.
Harry likes the Bartons, but he misses home. When he plays hide-and-go-seek, there's no Jarvis to talk to. Harry hides for so long that he starts to think Lila forgot about him, and crawls out from the cabinet under the bathroom sink.
"Where were you?" Lila asks, but Harry doesn't answer. Hiding places are supposed to be a secret.
Dad looks sad that Harry was hiding so long, so they stop playing hide-and-go-seek. Instead, they run laps from room to room.
Cooper and Lila keep asking Harry about magic powers, and it's making Harry think of all the family he and Dad left behind. He tells them all about his family back home, and shares his superhero toys with them.
His superhero toys are just the right size for the dollhouse. Lila plays superhero family, which makes Harry miss them even more, and he tells her more about his real family.
Lila also plays a game called Logan's Kitchen. In that game, Harry's Wolverine toy is a grumpy chef who yells lots of beeps.
"Logan only yells when he's fighting," Harry tells her. He's grumpy, but Lila's making him scream at people about how useless they are, like Aunt 'Tuna did. Lila tells him about a Gordon on the telly yells lots of beeped out words, but that doesn't sound like Gordon from Batman or Gordon the green engine.
"Logan smokes sticks, but they're bad." Harry shares, and shows her by trying to wedge a toothpick in his toy's mouth. It's supposed to be on fire, and suddenly the end of the toothpick starts to smoke.
Lila blows on it like a candle, then proudly puts on a firefighter hat, saying she put out the fire. She parades around the house, saying she saved their house from burning down.
Cooper turns to Harry. "Was that magic?"
Harry nods.
"Did you set things on fire before?"
"I blowed up the telly," Harry says.
Cooper looks awed. He picks up his own Iron Man toy and asks Harry if he can make it shoot real blasts.
"Not in the house," Mr. Barton warns, then changes to "Not at all. That's not safe."
Once Lila stops marching around in her firefighter hat, she comes back to play more superhero family.
Harry makes his toy Iron Man build stuff with blocks in the dollhouse garage, wishing his toy looked like Mr. Stark instead of Iron Man. Lila makes Iron Man kiss her dolls. Harry snatches Iron Man away, but Mr. Barton claims that's totally in character, whatever that means.
Harry asks Jarvis to call Mr. Stark.
"You bored yet?" Mr. Stark asks.
"Really bored. Do you kiss lots of ladies?"
Mr. Stark starts laughing, too, but Harry doesn't get why kissing is so funny. Mr. Stark says a lot of the women he kissed looked like Lila's dolls, which is just weird.
"Were they plastic?" Harry asks seriously, but that just makes Mr. Stark and Mr. Barton laugh even more.
"Imagine Tony Stark being that desperate," Mr. Barton gasps, seeming barely able to breathe with how hard he's laughing.
Harry goes over and pokes Mr. Barton in the ribs. "Stop," he frowns. "You die if you don't breathe."
Slowly, Mr. Barton starts breathing again, and stops laughing.
"You never kissed Merida!" Lila waves her favorite doll at the camera. Merida has red hair and a bow, like Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Barton put together. Lila says Merida's from a movie that's not even out yet, and she doesn't think Merida will kiss anyone.
Cooper seems to find it hard to speak, simply staring at Mr. Stark and the others in the call in awe.
"I don't bite, kid." Mr. Stark tells him.
Cooper's mouth opens and shuts a few times. His voice is far quieter when he can talk. "Thank you for saving the world."
"You didn't thank me," Mr. Barton grumbles. "I'm a hero, and you talk to me just fine."
"You're dad," Cooper says simply.
Mr. Barton acts like he's been hurt, but Harry can tell he's faking. Mostly.
Harry talks some more with his family, and Lila asks lots of questions about magic. Thor tries to answer some, but Loki isn't going on the call because Mr. Barton doesn't like him.
When they hang up, Harry's not very enthusiastic about turning back to his toys. They seem so tiny and plastic, and he doesn't even have toys of his Grandpa'fessor, or Beast, or Storm, Ms. Grey, Thor and Loki. Lila has several dark-skinned dolls, but none of them have white hair like Storm does.
That night, they watch a movie about a boy named Wart who meets an old wizard who looks like Dumb-Bell-Door. The wizard has a talking owl, like the one that found them before they got kidnapped.
The television switches off even though nobody touched the remote, and Jarvis can't control it here. Harry stomps upstairs, even as Cooper and Lila tell him Merlin is a good wizard who turns Wart into animals.
Dad joins Harry in their room.
"I'm not watching that dumb Dumb-Bell-Door movie!" Harry crosses his arms and stays on the bed.
"You don't have to," Dad tells him.
It feels odd to be turning down the telly.
Soon, Mr. Barton's knocking on the door. "Harry, we can watch something else. There are some movies I can't watch now, after everything. I couldn't even get through Obi-Wan's Jedi mind tricks."
"But I blowed up the telly,"
"You just shut it off. Which is great, you'll never have to reach for the remote in your life," Mr. Barton sounds like he's smiling. "Want to see a movie about a dog playing basketball? We can make some popcorn, you can snuggle up with Lucky."
Harry nods, glances at Dad, and they head downstairs to the couch.
"If someone's scared, we change the movie," Lila tells him, like it's a family rule.
"I wasn't scared!" Harry says. "He's just dumb, is all."
"There's nothing wrong with being scared," Mr. Barton tells them. Harry considers this. It's odd, realizing even superheroes like Dad and Mr. Barton get scared of things, like people going in their brains. When Harry was littler, he thought heroes were fearless. But even Mr. Stark's scared of caves, which is why he doesn't have an Iron Cave.
Harry likes the movie about the basketball dog a lot more, and Cooper says he hasn't been able to teach Lucky to play yet.
"Too bad you can't talk dog," Cooper tells him, as Air Bud sinks a basket. "You could explain the rules in a way he understands."
Lucky doesn't know how to play basketball, but the next day, Harry learns that Lucky loves to fetch balls, sticks and arrows.
Harry never really got Steve's shield, but he's found that throwing a frisbee is really fun, once it stops hitting the ground as soon as he throws it. Mrs. Barton shows him how to keep it flat when he throws, so it flies far.
Lucky bounds after it, bringing it back every time.
Mr. Barton even shoots safe practice arrows for Lucky to fetch. Lila and Cooper eagerly join Mr. Barton in shooting, and there's even a spare bow for Harry.
"Dad said he doesn't want me to fight," Harry frowns slightly. Dad's gone inside, leaving Harry outside with the Bartons.
"We're not fighting." Lila pulls back the string and lets go. The arrow falls into the grass. "I want to shoot like Merida!"
"But not like me?" Mr. Barton shakes his head.
Harry laughs, because Mr. Stark's not around here to laugh.
"Archery can be fighting, but it's also a sport. An olympic sport." Mr. Barton tells Harry. "They're in London this year. I could win gold, if it weren't for confidentiality issues,"
"You're an Avenger now," Mrs. Barton calls from the porch, where she's sipping coffee. "I think your days of anonymity are over."
Mr. Barton walks over to kiss Mrs. Barton. Cooper pretends to gag.
"We all know you're the real hero, here." Mr. Barton winks, and Mrs. Barton looks like she's trying to be stern but laughing too.
"I mean it," Mr. Barton says, leaning down to kiss her again. "Holding down the fort while I'm gone, making sure our amazing kids turn out right."
"This is more my fort." Mrs. Barton kisses him back. "I'm here all the time."
"You kiss more than Mister Stark," Harry tells them as he climbs up the stairs. He goes inside and shouts "Dad! Can we go to London to watch sports?!"
"They have sports closer," Dad says, almost smiling, though he hadn't looked happy when he was writing in his journal right before now. "We have TV now."
They always had telly, even if Harry hadn't always been allowed to watch.
"The London games!" Harry says. "Mr. Barton's going to win archery, and there's Quidditch,"
"I believe Master Harry is referring to the Summer Olympic Games, which will be held in London from July 27 through August 12." says Jarvis helpfully from Dad's phone.
"I've never been to London," Harry had always wanted to. The Dursleys had gone, but left Harry in the cupboard all day with no meals. "I wanna see Quidditch! And a real basketball dog!"
"Despite the recent reveal of magic, I've seen no news of Quidditch being recognized as an Olympic sport, Master Harry. Furthermore, the Olympics only allow human contestants. There is currently a great deal of debate about whether mutants should be allowed, or whether their mutations would give them an unfair advantage."
Harry tries to figure that out, and Jarvis explains "Mutant powers might make it too easy to win against humans without powers. Imagine Mr. Logan in a fencing match; it would be entirely too easy for him."
"Of course he'd beat a fence," Harry laughs. Jarvis doesn't laugh, he never does, but he explains fencing is like a sword fight.
"He'd beat fencing swords," Mr. Barton says, strolling into the house. "Those things bend like crazy, more than my bow, for crying out loud."
A holographic video shines from Dad's phone, showing two people with blank faces and white clothes swinging bendy swords at each other.
"He'd cut through any sword!" Harry cheers. "Why can't mutants enter? They're people too."
Before Jarvis can explain it again, Cooper comes in to ask Harry if he wants to see his secret hideout.
Harry thought he'd already found all the hideouts playing hide-and-go-seek, but Cooper leads him down to the basement. Harry's never been in a basement before; Mr. Stark's lab in his old house doesn't count, because Harry could still look down at the ocean.
Cooper leads Harry to a door under the stairs, and Harry's shocked when he pulls it open.
Inside the cupboard, Cooper flicks on a bright light that's not just a bulb. Harry sees more pillows than Harry can count along with toys and books. He never had these in his own cupboard.
Harry flops on one of the pillows. "I bet being locked in here's actually fun."
Cooper gives Harry a strange look. "I don't get locked in here,"
"Not even when you're bad?" Harry asks. His Grandpa'fessor and Mr. Stark keep telling him most families don't lock kids in cupboards, that the Dursleys were horrible for doing so, but what else are cupboards for?
"No," Cooper says. Lila starts to come in, and Cooper yells "Get out, Lila! No sisters!"
Lila starts to argue, and Cooper begins shoving Lila out the door. Harry watches, wondering why they aren't teaming up to shove him in here before running off to play together.
Lila storms up the steps above them, yelling "Mommy! Cooper pushed me! And he won't let me in the cupboard!"
"We should let her," Harry says. He likes Lila, and he doesn't think Ms. Jean or Storm or Jubilee would like that they're saying Lila can't come in. It's too much like what Dudley and Piers would do.
"Yeah, maybe," Cooper says, though he seems a lot more convinced when Mrs. Barton comes down the steps.
Harry shrinks back into the corner of the cupboard, but Mrs. Barton calls Cooper out of it. She doesn't yell, or threaten, or slap him. She just tells him that he needs to let everyone play, and reminds him it's just as much Lila's hideaway as it is his. That if he wants somewhere that's all his own, he can go to his bedroom.
"Harry, honey, are you okay?" Mrs. Barton, even more gently than Dad.
"He thought you locked us in," Cooper tells her quietly.
Mrs. Barton frowns. "Oh, Harry, no."
Harry doesn't get what the big deal is. He was safe in his old cupboard, and this one's a lot nicer. The rug in here is softer than his old mattress.
"Come on, let's get out of here," Cooper mutters, crawling out of the cupboard.
Harry leaves to grab Dad's phone so he can talk to Jarvis, but finds himself back at the cupboard. It's like his blanket fort back at the tower, before Loki made it big inside.
Harry, Lila and Cooper spend a while drawing pictures to put on the cupboard walls, and Harry takes some photos, just like Dad's been doing.
At the end of the day, Dad pulls up the photos. Harry scrolls backward and sees himself riding Lila's tricycle. Cooper and Lila had begged Harry to make the tricycle fly like the motorbroom, but Harry couldn't.
Mr. Stark had been the one to make his motorbroom fly. He'd made the whole motorbroom.
"Mr. Stark could make the tricycle fly," Harry misses him a lot, even more than when he went off to HYDRA bases. At least then he was with his X-family.
Dad nods. "He could, but you've already got a motorbroom."
"When are we going home?" Harry stares out the window. The big yard looks a little like the big yard at their school home where they live with the X-Men.
"In a few days," Dad tells him.
"I want to go now," Harry whines, not realizing that he sounds like Dudley until after he's said it.
Harry scrolls back on the phone to the pictures Jarvis and Mr. Stark took, with his family in their real homes.
I started the crossover where Harry and James and co meet the Mandalorian and the Child. It's called Assassins and Adoptees, and it seemed like a fun little spinoff from this fic.