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Chapter Sixty-Three
Charles' eyes snapped open and he awoke with a loud gasp.
"Charles," he heard Ororo say. "Are you alright?" she asked as he took in his surroundings. He was back in his office. Ororo, Hank, and Logan were sitting on the couches. Logan was reading a newspaper and Hank was reading a book. Both of them closed their respective reading materials upon seeing him conscious.
"Yes, yes, I'm alright," Charles answered.
"What have you remembered?" Hank asked.
"I knew a woman named Sage. This was years before I formed the X-Men. In fact, I believe my defeat at my brother's hand was my inspiration to create the X-Men. I had invited Sage to accompany me to the mansion. Though, I don't recall if she accepted," he said.
"She did," Hank said. Charles blinked a couple of times as he took in Hank's words. Realization set in.
"Right. Right," he said. "I introduced you two when I attempted to recruit you," he said, recalling Hank's previous statement.
"Yes," he confirmed as Logan stood up from the couch. He walked over to the fireplace, resting an arm on the edge, as he glanced out the window.
"I don't remember that," Charles admitted, as his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. He allowed himself a moment to think before his eyes widened "The others," he said alarmed, suddenly remembering the day's events.
"All present and accounted for," Hank said.
"Thank goodness," Charles said, relieved.
"We took the liberty of offering Sage one of the guest rooms," Hank said.
"Good, good. Sage came to my aid after Cain broke my spine. She will always have a home here, should she want it," he said. "And the others?" he asked.
"Jean is with Scott. Kitty is helping Sage settle in and Magneto and Rogue are in the kitchen," Ororo added.
"Good. Thank you," he said before letting out a long sigh. "There was an emergency today, Jean was missing, and I played no part in setting it right," he said, shame creeping up on him. "On the contrary, if anything, I aided Mystique. Provided her with crucial details about their relationship. I all but confirmed for her that Rogue's aware of her true age," he lamented.
"You ain't the only one, Chuck," Logan said dryly. "And the age thing ain't really relevant. Trust me," he said.
"What does that mean?" Ororo asked.
"Rogue will explain when she's ready," he said.
"No, Logan, she should have already explained," Ororo countered, her voice rising.
"She tried, alright. He doesn't remember," Logan responded in kind.
"What?" Ororo asked confused. Charles felt his eyes widen as he shared a glance with Hank.
"When was this?" Hank asked on his behalf.
"When me and Jean went to Texas to recruit Blob," Logan answered.
"That long ago?" Charles asked in disbelief. "What is wrong with my memory?" he asked, agitated, a rhetorical question.
"Rogue ah-" Logan said, causing him to glance up at him, "She said you're ah- doing this to yourself. Some kinda self-hypnosis."
"That cannot be true," Ororo said defensively, standing from the couch. He and Ororo shared a glance. While he appreciated her trust in him, something was clearly wrong and he needed to get to the bottom of it.
"What else did she say?" Charles asked, despite Ororo's disbelief.
"It's your negative emotions, Chuck. You keep repressing 'em," he answered.
"That's why he didn't realize the effect he had on Jean's perception of her powers," Hank realized aloud before he turned to look at Charles. "Whenever fear presented itself, your immediate response must have been suppression. However, Jean experienced those harmful emotions in real-time, impacting her view of her abilities," he said as Logan nodded, confirming his analysis.
"Rogue's had this knowledge for years and yet she chose to stay silent?" Ororo asked irately.
"It ain't that simple, Ro," Logan countered.
"Yes, it is," she stated firmly. "How can you continue to support her?" she asked skeptically.
"She had her mothers breathing her neck. Still does. Magneto's got amnesia. Chuck's got amnesia. Hell, I have amnesia. And she's got her own PTSD to battle with," he said.
Charles was hit with an abrupt sensation of deja vu as he heard Rogue say, 'Fuck. I don't have time for this shit.'
"Talking ain't easy for her. I know, I've watched her try," Logan continued as Charles whipped his head around, searching the room for Rogue.
"Or perhaps this is just another lie. One among countless others," Ororo countered. Charles saw no sign of her.
'I know I heard her voice,' he thought to himself as Hank made eye contact with him.
"Did you hear something, Charles?" he asked, an inquisitive expression on his face as he studied him.
"It's debilitating, Ro. She ain't making that up or Chuck's amnesia," Logan countered.
"And how long have you known about that?" she asked.
"Since yesterday," he answered.
"And instead of explaining it to us, to Charles, you chose to leave?" she asked.
'I need to act before it's too late. Fuck,' Rogue's voice plagued him again as he felt a pain on the side of his head. He placed his hand on the side of his head, at the source of its pain, his left temple.
"Curious, just like Erik," he heard Hank say under his breath.
"I needed to clear my head," Logan argued.
"And we needed you here," she yelled back.
"Enough," Charles yelled. Ororo and Logan ceased their argument turning to look at him. "This isn't productive," he declared.
"Perhaps you should investigate for yourself, Charles," Hank suggested. "Willingly. Before your mind deprived you of the luxury of choice," he added. "Unlike, Magneto, who is at the mercy of his flashbacks. With telepathy at your disposal, you can dictate how you engage with these ah- mental barriers.
"I agree," Charles said with a nod. "And all I'm asking is for you to reserve judgment until I've finished," he said, the words leaving his mouth almost automatically without any real input from him. The sense of deja vu was steadily building and he feared Hank was correct in his assessment. "Can you do that for me? Please," he continued, his mind slipping further away from those he was actually speaking to at that moment.
"Charles," Hank said, a hint of concern in his tone. "Don't worry. We'll be fine. Won't we?" he asked, his question directed at Ororo.
"Of course," she acquiesced as Logan nodded.
"Thank you," he said as he placed his hands on his temples. "If you will all please excuse me," he said before closing his eyes and delving into his own mind once more.
Charles Xavier entered his study with a satisfied smile. The evening danger room session had gone well- his students were starting to come along in their abilities, even with Jean's absence. Scott in particular was shaping up to be a competent commander. He could see him taking charge in the field and faring well without a direct guiding hand. Ororo had agreed as they had sent the students to wash up before bed.
His last task for the evening was to check in with Logan and Jean. He had sent them to Texas to attempt to recruit a young man, who was using his powers fairly regularly. He picked up his communicator to do just that.
"Logan, are you there?" he asked.
"Yeah," he grunted.
"So, is Mr. Dukes open to relocating?" he asked.
"Yeah, just not with us," he said.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Mystique beat us to the punch," he explained.
"Again?" he asked, confused. "How does she keep doing this?" he asked.
"I don't know, Chuck," he replied. "Jean and I are heading back to the airport now. We'll see you in the morning," he said.
"Alright, thank you for the update, Logan. Have a safe flight," he said.
"Hello, Charles," he heard a female voice say. His eyes darted up and, to his immediate surprise, he saw Rogue who was sitting on the couch on the far side of his office. Her body faced the door to his study. Her legs were crossed and her arm was prompted up against the arm of the couch as her chin rested in the palm of her hand. Her gaze was towards him.
He noticed that her hands were bare. He wasn't quite sure if he should consider that a threat or not. As he didn't wish to act in haste, instead, he stored the details away and moved on to consider the other relevant information at his disposal.
Strange- that he hasn't sensed her. A quick mental scan confirmed he currently couldn't. Why was her mind so difficult to pinpoint? A product of her mutation, perhaps?
"Good evening, Rogue," he said as he returned the communicator to his desk.
"It's Anna-Marie, actually. I mean- either's fine. But that's my given name," she said.
"It's very nice to meet you, Anna-Marie. I won't lie, I was rather perplexed when I was informed your legal name was Rogue," he said.
"Yeah, subtlety ain't exactly Mystique's strong suit," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry if I startled you. I didn't mean to eardrop either," she said as she brushed some hair behind her ear. "I was just waiting for you to finish your call," she said.
"This visit is hardly unwelcome," he said calmly as he moved out from his desk. "Mystique prevented us from speaking in Mississippi. A fact, I'd wagered you're privy to, considering you've ventured here tonight in secret," he surmised. He watched a smile come to her face.
"Perceptive as always, Charles. I really am counting on that," she added.
He raised an eyebrow at the familiarity in her tone but dismissed it as a by-product of her abilities. Perhaps, absorbing Ororo's mind gave her insight she wouldn't have otherwise. There was much about the young girl's powers that were an enigma. He could muse on the subject later. Now wasn't the time for inward reflection.
"How can I help you, Anna-Marie?" he asked.
"I've been thinking about how to approach you. Even now after I've gone through all this trouble of sneaking in here, I ain't really sure how to start this conversation. It wasn't supposed to be just me," she said before sighing. "But tonight was the first time Mystique's been away since I came to Bayville. My first real chance to slip away without being noticed. She watches me like a hawk," she said as her foot began to tap against the floor.
"I see and does that make you uncomfortable?" he asked, as he noted the physical manifestations of her obvious discomfort.
"Extremely," she answered with another sigh. "There's a lot I need ta tell you and I don't have a lot of time. I gotta get back before Mystique's flight lands. She can't know I was here," she said.
"I understand. Normally, I would ask for someone to start at the beginning. However, given the time constraint, perhaps providing the most relevant information might be more advisable," he suggested.
"Neither option really works. The most relevant information doesn't make any damn sense without context and there's been more than one beginning," she said.
"I'm afraid, I don't understand," he said.
"How could ya? I haven't told you anything yet?" she said as a nervous sigh left her as she stood. She opened her mouth to speak and watched as her eyes widened as no noise left her. He watched panic cross her face. "Shit, come on," she muttered to herself.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"I- ah- I, no, apparently," she fumbled. "What- just- come on-" she muttered as he watched her foot tapping against the floor in rapid succession.
"Anna-Marie- please, take a breath- it's alright. Whatever this is, I will help you," he said.
"This shouldn't be that hard. I've dealt with worse. So much worse," she muttered to herself as she began to pace back and forth in front of him. "What the hell is happening to me?" she asked, visibly distressed.
"What are you feeling? Describe it to me, please?" he asked.
"I'm- I'm trying to tell ya. I'm willing myself to speak but every time I try- it's- it's like I can't breathe. There's this heaviness in my chest- and I'm-" she said.
"Yes, I can see your legs shaking. Take long deep breaths," he advised as she closed her eyes and did as he instructed. "That's good- good, keep breathing. And for now, at least, please cease your attempts," he said.
"O-okay," she said before she resumed her breathing.
"Is this the first time you've attempted to say whatever this is aloud?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"Is there trauma involved?" he asked. He watched as tears ran down her face as she nodded. "Is there any danger to yourself or others associated with this disclosure?" he asked.
"Yes, and yes," she answered.
"Based upon the little information I have, I would hazard a guess that you are, perhaps, experiencing symptoms of post-trauma stress disorder," he said. Her eyes snapped open and looked down at him.
"Fuck," she exclaimed. "I don't have time for this shit. I need to act before it's too late. Fuck," she yelled again as she resumed her pacing.
"It's going to be alright," he said as calmly as he could as he inched his way closer to her. "This will take time but it can be overcome," he said as he watched her squeeze her eyes shut- a few errant tears escaped. "Thankfully, we have a tool in our arsenal that makes us much better equipped to deal with this particular setback," he said.
"What's that?" she asked as she wiped her face with her sleeve.
"Telepathy," he answered. He watched her let out an assumed huff at that as a smile came to her face. Encouraged by her reaction, he inched even closer to the frightened girl and said, "please," he said as he gestured towards the couch. "Perhaps this would be easier if you allowed me to read your mind?" he suggested.
He watched her expression drop as she shook her head.
"I shouldn't've come. This was a mistake," she said.
"I'm glad you did. Clearly, you need help," he said.
"What I need is my husband by my side. But he can't be 'cause he doesn't remember me," she said- her tone annoyed.
'Husband?' he repeated to himself. 'She's only a child,' he thought disgustedly. Rogue held his glance before rolling her eyes.
"I'm older than I look, alright? A lot older," she said before letting out a sigh. "Good lord, how did Moria do this so many times? This fucking sucks," she ranted as she plopped back down on the couch.
"Let's start here, who doesn't remember you? Who is your husband?" he asked.
"Magneto," she answered.
"Excuse me?" he asked, confused. He couldn't have heard her correctly.
"It's complicated. Really damn complicated, Charles. But it's so good to see a friendly face," she said with a smile.
There was that familiarity again- she acted as if she knew him. He did his best to hide his discomfort.
"Shit, sorry, I know this is weird. But could ya bare with me, please? I promise it'll make sense. I just-" she said. "I need ya to listen to what I have to say. I wanna try again. I don't know if it'll work but I have to try. All I'm asking is for ya to reserve judgment until I've finished. Can you do that for me? Please?" she asked.
"Yes, alright," he said pleasantly, as he mentally reached out to Ororo, intending to alert her to Rogue's presence and to be on standby in case the conversation took a turn. However, he felt his eyes widen as he realized he couldn't sense any life outside of the room- there was a psychic shield surrounding the room.
"Shit," she muttered.
He closed his eyes as he pushed against her shield- he pushed and pushed and pushed, exerting the formidable metal energy at his disposal. Out of breath and fatigued, he found he couldn't make it budge- not one inch.
"Charles, please don't freak out," she pleaded as his eyes shot open and he saw she was reaching out toward him. "It ain't to keep you in. It's to keep someone else out," she explained as he instinctually moved his chair back and away from her as fear started to set in. "Seriously, both of us cannot be freaking out right now and I literally can't help it. So, I'm really gonna need you to keep your composure, okay? Please?" she asked.
"Who are you keeping out? Who is the shield for?" he asked as he recovered from the mental strain.
"Irene Alder. She- doesn't know that I know everything. If she finds out I ain't the naive pawn they take me for, she'll tell Mystique and then I'm fucked. I'm sorry if you feel trapped, really- I just- this has to stay secret- lives are on the line," she said.
"Given that, I believe at this point, I must insist you allow me to read your mind," he stated.
"I- fuck," she muttered again as she raked a hand through her hair. "I- yeah- yeah, alright. But I ain't giving you free rein to roam around my head. It's gonna be a guided tour. You good with that?" she asked.
"I believe that is a fair compromise," he said as he placed his fingers on his temples. He had expended considerable energy fighting against her shield- but he could manage this. "Shall we?" he asked. He watched her take a deep breath and nod.
He extended his mind out, feeling his astral self take shape as he attempted to connect to hers. He felt the edges of her mind and the presence of another psychic barrier. He pushed against the edge of it, lightly- informing her of his presence. He felt her mental shield recede which allowed him to enter.
As he entered her mind, he heard a hum- it felt familiar- as if someone was calling out to him. Assuming it was Anna-Marie, he delved closer. Slowly her mind took form and he found himself inside a seemingly endless corridor- the walls were a bright white- almost blindingly so. As his eyes adjusted he realized the walls were not bare- no- there were doors, countless doors.
"They must lead to her memories," he realized. He felt the urge to explore these doors but thought better of it. He had promised to adhere to a guided tour, after all. "Very organized," he mused aloud as he began walking towards the hum.
The longer he walked, the stronger the presence felt. It was louder now- he could almost make out a voice-
"Charles Xavier, you do not know me, but trust me, we have much to discuss," a male voice whispered. It- it sounded like him- no- no- more like Magnus? He wasn't sure.
Had she used her abilities on Magnus? She claimed he was her husband, it would stand to reason that she had. Perhaps, it was his presence he had followed. But then where was Anna-Marie?
"Charles, where the hell are you?" he heard Anna-Marie call out from the opposite direction of the hum. Her voice sounded very far away. "I knew this was a bad fucking idea. Fuck." He readied himself to walk towards his host. It had been his destination after all but-
"She has imprisoned me in her mind," the voice whispered.
"What?" he asked alarmed as he quickly turned back towards the hum. The corridor stretched, still endless. He felt dizzy as the hallway became distorted. The walls closed in as the color palette of her mind flashed from white to red. As the humming became more intolerable the color of her psyche morphed to black and he felt blind. Once again it flashed back to red and finally back to her normal white.
He tried to back up away from the source of the humming as he now knew it was not leading him where he wished to go. He felt disoriented as he felt the presence pull at him- violently dragging him down the hall. He projected himself outwards as if to try and slow himself and stop his momentum towards the source but found that he lacked the strength to do so. His astral self flew down the hallway, even further away from Anna-Marie's voice.
He stopped flying through the air as he landed on the floor with a painful thud. The hum reached an earsplitting cacophony.
Fighting against it, he glanced up and found himself staring at the door of a vault. It easily took up the space of three of the normal doors that had lined the corridor. It was large and metal. He saw multiple mechanisms reinforcing the locks, all controlled by a single wheel at the center of the door.
He had no doubt that the source of the humming was coming from within it.
"This must be the prison," he realized.
"Help me," the voice pleaded as the humming echoed in his mind. He felt the urge to comply with the voice's command. He pushed back against it, trying to quiet the interference of the hum. He only managed to dull its tone.
"I'm not accustomed to assisting those who force me somewhere against my will. You are clearly a foreign entity and most likely an invader. It seemed to me that Anna-Marie locked you in there for her own protection," he said before he reached out to search for his intended host. However, he felt a twinge of pain. He needed time to recover; time, he did not have.
"We did not choose to be here. She forced that upon us," it said.
"Even if that is true, I won't mettle in affairs I don't fully comprehend. I must speak with Anna-Marie about this."
"She is a deceiver. She will only tell you lies," it whispered.
"Of course, you'd say that," he said dismissively. "She suffers from PTSD. For all I know, you're the cause of it," he said as he glanced at the door, searching for any indication of who was within it. His eyes came across an engraving. "Onslaught," he read aloud.
Suddenly, he was lifted into the air and pulled up against the door. The humming painfully invaded his mind as he felt his hands grip the wheel. He did everything he could to resist it and keep his hands from turning the wheel.
"Release me," the voice screamed.
Charles's eyes snapped open once again as he fled the memory and his own inner mind. His breaths were coming fast and he was on the cusp of hyperventilating. He was attempting to control his breathing but the fear he felt in Onslaught's presence was palpable and all-consuming. He was just as mentally fatigued as he had in his memory. He felt the urge to repress this emotion, to be rid of it.
As soon as the notion came to mind, he felt his fear fading away, being pushed into the back of his mind. His eyes widened as he took hold of fear and clung to it. He held his breath as he attempted to hold fast to his fear. He was uncomfortable, yes, but he needed to remember. For his sake, for Anna-Marie's sake, his memories must remain his own.
"Charles, are you alright?" Ororo asked. He nodded as he focused on those in the room with him.
"No, I don't believe that I am," he answered earnestly. "Nor do I know how long I've been unwell," he said.
His three senior staff members shared worried glances.
"Anna-Marie attempted to explain the situation before she joined the X-Men," he further explained. "I've criticized her for not- Good god how I've criticized her," he said, holding his face in his hands for a long moment.
"Charles," Ororo said.
"She introduced herself. Attempted to explain. She mentioned Moria and Magnus. Her PTSD prevented her from fully explaining. It's not her fault, Ororo. It never was. Logan is right, she tried," he said. "She tried," he repeated.
"Alright," Ororo said shrugging. "So, now what?" she asked.
"She's in the kitchen?" Charles asked.
"Yes," Hank reconfirmed.
"Very well," he said as he pulled himself together, preparing himself for the continuation of a long long overdue conversation.
Okay, calling it here for today! Oh man, the only reason this chapter came out so fast is because I wrote the flashback scene with Charles and Rogue a year, maybe a year and a half ago. Just been waiting for the plot to progress to the point where I could finally have Charles remember their conversation! That might be the last chapter for the year, but I'll try to get one more in if I can! Please let me know your thoughts! Seriously, reviews are what motivate me to start on the next chapter right away! Thank you all!
Speaking of which:
Tfranco9: THANK YOU! He really is not a saint! I'm glad you love Kitty and Jean! They are so fun to write! All valid questions! As requested, here is more and even more to come in the future! :) THANK YOU for the kind words! Seriously, it means the world to me!