Finally, Goku's point of view.
--
Goku isn't the type of guy to treat anyone with respect because probably he wasn't just raised like that. In fact, when most of his friends would always use honorifics, he would never. Growing up in the mountain with no one but his grandpa, he was not taught how to act around other people. When he first met Bulma, he can't tell if he's another human like him, or if she was a goblin. Later, he realized the difference between a girl and a boy when he lived with her while looking for the dragon balls. With Bulma, he met a lot of people who became part of his life. And the most beautiful thing about that was the fact that he met Chichi along the way.
Goku recalls how he wonders around the planet, going from place to place, eat toxic and exotic foods, swam an entire ocean cause he didn't know that there's an existence of boat or a ship. He even eat a dinosaur's tail and he regretted doing that for he realized how cruel that behavior was. Throughout his journey, he fought a lot of people. He fought with Piccolo Daimao, he annihilated an entire army, he defeated Teinshinhan, he surpassed his teachers, but he was never complete, for he was still homeless. In fact, during those times, he would sleep anywhere. He didn't have a home to go to. He didn't have someone to go home to. He only found comfort and someone whom he had to go home to when he married Chichi. She had given him a home, a family he can treasure. She cooked for him, she washed his clothes, she loved him with all her heart. She was always there - waiting for him to go home even when it takes a lot of time before he goes home.
She was the most important person in his life and thinking about how he had hurt her throughout their marriage, he can't even think of forgiving himself. Though, she nags a lot and she shouts a lot, Goku actually loved that about her. But with his nature as a saiyan, he would always love the battle field and he can't do anything about that. Sometimes, he thought about Chichi if he hadn't married her. Would she even be happy? She probably would. Who would want a good for nothing for a husband? He doesn't have a proper job. He was only good at martial arts and he tends to lower his guards when his enemies were down and so he ended up losing oftentimes.
When Gohan was born, Goku's world turn into upside down. He was the most precious gift that Chichi had given to him. He loves Gohan with all his heart and so he intends to train him to be strong and so one day, he can protect those people he wanted to protect. He understands why Chichi wanted Gohan to study though. If Gohan will not study, he'll end up like him - knows nothing, good at nothing but fighting. He, himself don't want his son to end up like that.
When he found out about his true nature with Raditz, he got scared of himself. What if his nature woke up in deep slumber and started destroying earth? That would hurt his wife and his son.
He wanted to count those times when he had hurt Chichi unintentionally. His naivety was not even enough alibi to justify his wrong decisions in life. He recall when he stayed at Planet Yadrat to train - leaving his 4 year old son and his wife - weeping over his death, when he didn't die. Even when Porunga told him that his friends on earth requested his return to his planet, he refused cause he wanted to be stronger. That must have put Chichi in a difficult situation. She had to take care of Gohan alone. She had to work hard for Gohan's study alone. Goku was always thankful that Chichi has never decided to leave him despite his absences in their lives.
Another was when he choose to stay dead after sending Cell to King Kai's planet. He sacrificed his life to save the planet but that explosion wasn't enough to kill off Cell and so his sacrifice was put to vain. He never regretted putting his trust on Gohan, but he regretted not being able to calculate the consequences of his actions. His death put a lot of pressure and tensions to his son. Gohan blamed himself of his death which adds to Chichi's problem.
His poor wife had to deal with Gohan's grief, and self-blaming and at the same time, she had to deal with her pregnancy alone. He chose to stay dead cause he thought, bad guys comes after him and so he was better off dead. But when Buu came into the picture, he realized that danger comes any time and anywhere. Threats arrive with no notice. If things will happen, it will happen.
Now, he realized how his naivety had put everyone in his family, and friends in vain.
One time, he talked about Krilin when he was done training with Beerus. He really need someone to talk to right now. He can't talk to Piccolo because he knew, the namekian won't even understand what he feels. He can't talk with Gohan and Goten especially when this talks is related to their mother. He was ashamed of himself - the reason why he can't even look at Gohan and Goten in the eye. After what had happened on earth last 3 months before they left Chichi crying, he lost his guts.
"So, what are you planning after this?" Krilin asked him. He doesn't really know what to do. He never planned anything and he can't even think of one. Not right now. He is confused as hell.
"I don't know, Krilin. I feel so ashamed of myself." He sighed.
"I don't even know if Chichi will forgive nor accept me after this. I was scared to go home."
It's funny how he was known to be the strongest man on earth but he is actually scared of one person and that is Chichi. When he went to Uub's planet to train him, he planned to come back after a month, but he lost his tail. Until such time, his planned of returning after months, become year, until it reached 4 years. He has no guts to face Chichi's anger. He was so scared. He was scared, she might throw him out and he can't afford to know that she didn't want him anymore and so he decided to just watch her from a far. He was scared to face the fact that Chichi would grew tired of waiting for him to come home. He was scared of the thought that she might snap at him for being a horrible husband - letting her wife do all the parent's responsibilities.
He would oftentimes sneak around to talk to Gohan and Goten without her knowing. In fact, he even slept with her during those times while she was sleeping. He would wait for her to sleep before sneaking in and watch her sleep for the night. That's the only way, he can get near her. The next morning, he'd found himself sleepy cause he watched his wife all night long.
"Did you even think about the consequences of you -going with Uub 4 years ago?"
Goku shook his head. The excitement had him kept and so he hadn't about the consequences of his actions. He was always like that. Jumping into action without calculating the consequences.
"Do you even plan on going home?"
He didn't know what to answer anymore.
Going home? Of course, he planned to go home but he was a coward. He didn't voice that out.
"You know what, my wife is mad at you for leaving Chichi and Goten. Sure, Goten was 17 years old that time and he can take care of himself, but what about Chichi? The woman is growing old, you know?"
That shut up Goku real hard. He can feel the lump in his throat as if he's having a hard time to breath. Tears threatened to get out of its cages. Maybe, he needed this. He needed someone to point out his mistakes. People would always support his decisions without question and would always let him do things on his own, and now, it feels right and painful when someone tells you that you suck.
"Did you even realize that Chichi would grow old and one day, she'll have to be in bed - waiting for her death? I've always support you Goku. You are my friend. But when it comes to Chichi, you are really unfair to her part."
He smiled sadly. Pain crossed his heart. He felt like he was struck by a knife and he couldn't breath. He bit his tongue and kept his cool. He won't cry. Not right now. Him - crying won't even erased the pain that he had put to Chichi's heart. It's too late to cry now. He had done bad. He's a horrible husband.
"You need to say something, Goku."
"I don't know what to say, Krilin." He uttered as tears started falling out of his eyes. He can't control his emotions right now. It surges to its peak already. He was thankful, Vegeta wasn't around. He'd probably laughed at him for crying like a baby.
"I couldn't turn back time... I.. I was such a failure."
"You're not a failure. While I'd give you the title of father of the century, I wouldn't say, you're the best husband. Chichi could have left you but she stayed. She stayed cause she loves you. Believe me Goku, Chichi would always wait for you to go home to her."
That slapped him. Chichi would always wait for him to go home. No matter where he goes, she would always be at home - waiting. He realized that whenever he sees her at home - doing normal chores as if her husband hadn't left her at all. It breaks his heart to even think that Chichi would always act normal when at nights, she'd be crying over him.
"What would I do now, Krilin? I don't know what to do anymore!" He weeped.
His friend just shook his head as he eyed him with pity.
"You're the only one who can answer that. The decision lies with you, Goku. If you still want to train Uub, you can do that. If you want to go home, you can do that too. Your house in Mount Paozu will not be gone. Chichi and Goten would always wait for you there. Though, I doubt if Chichi would even welcome you with open arms, I think she won't refrain you from coming home."
He wiped his tears away and tried smiling to Krilin. That helped him, maybe not entirely, but it calms his nerves. Now, he was able to think properly. He will make sure to go home and apologize to Chichi. It doesn't matter if she won't forgive him. He won't mind sleeping outside their house as long as he will be able to see her and be with her even from a far. He won't mind asking for her forgiveness for a lifetime. This time, he would make sure, he spends his last remaining days with Chichi.
"Thank you, Krilin. That really helped a lot."
"You know what Goku? You're a lucky idiot that Chichi is your wife. Because if it were other woman? They would leave you and even abandon your sons. Because trust me, who would want sons who are aliens in nature?" Krilin shook his head.
"Yeah, I was really a lucky idiot."
"Dad, are you staying for good?"
Goku snapped into reality when he realized Goten was talking to him. They were headed to Earth - riding Whis' cube. Everyone inside the cube looked tired and he was as well but his mind just won't calm down. He was worried about Chichi. Will she even accept him? Will she even ask if he's okay? The last words he heard from her was "I will never forgive you if something happen to Gohan and Goten. I don't care if you don't come back breathing, just make sure, my boys will come home to me alive and breathing."
He didn't know how to deal with Chichi's rage.
"Yeah. I just really hope, I still have a place in our house."
"Of course, you would always have one, Dad. Mom was just mad last time, but she will understand. I know, she will."
Goku hopes it's as simple as that. He wished Chichi won't shut him down for good.
"I'm sorry."
Goku looked at Goten who is now looking outside the cube. His son was not even looking at him cause he seemed to be in deep thought.
"You need not to apologize. I understand what you feel."
"I was an asshole back there. I shouldn't have snapped at you. It's ridiculous to even get jealous of Gohan when Cell was the one who took you away from us. I was a bit insensitive --"
Goku cut Goten off by hugging him. For 4 years, this is the first time that he was able to hug him. He felt like he needed this hug to give him comfort. Goten stilled for awhile - wondering why suddenly his father is hugging him.
"I should be the one apologizing, Goten. I missed your first seven years on earth, and I even leave you and your mom for 4 years." Pain once again enveloped Goku's soul. Tears wanted to get out of his eyes but he stopped it.
"It's okay, Dad. I understand."
When they finally landed on Capsule Corp, the first person he looked for was Chichi. Gohan told him that he asked Bulma to let Videl and Pan lived in Capsule Corp once thing gets chaotic and so he assumed Chichi is also around.
Goku didn't really know why he was feeling nervous all of a sudden. His breathing is not normal as well. He felt like he is about to vomit. He felt like he will faint anytime soon.
It was Pan who run towards their direction and jumped into him. He smiled at his granddaughter and kissed her cheek.
"Hey, Pan! How are you?"
"I've missed you so much, Grandpa."
The kid giggled and went to his father. He watched Gohan and Pan hugged each other as if they hadn't seen each other for years when it's just been 6 months.
"So Pan, where's your mom?" Gohan asked Pan. The kid pouted and is seemed to be about to cry anytime soon. Goku's forehead knotted. He realized that 18 was the only one around here. Where's Bulma and Videl?
"Pan, where's your mom?" This time, he was the one who asked his granddaughter. Pan didn't said anything, she started crying. This alarmed Goku and so he looked at 18 who is currently giving him the disgust look. Well, he deserves that.
"Where's everyone?"
Suddenly, a thought sank into him. They just arrived on earth for minutes now and he realized, he can't sense Chichi's ki. Various circumstances flooded his mind. His palm started to get sweaty.
"Gohan, I can't sense your mother's ki." He said to alarm his sons who are both busy reconnecting with their friends.
No, no, this isn't happening. No matter the distance, he would always sense her, but where on earth is she?
"You can't sense her ki cause she isn't even here." 18 told him sternly while giving him a glare.
"Dad, what's going on?" He heard Gohan's worries, but he can't calm down. There's no way he can't sense Chichi's ki.
"Dad, calm down!" Goten tried coaxing him but he can't stop shaking.
He focused on sensing her ki once again but he still couldn't find it.
"Kakarot, why the fuck are you shaking?"
It shocked all of them when Bulma and Videl arrived on the scene - looking so tired and exhausted. Bulma's eyes widened upon seeing all of them there. Videl was behind her and is also having the same reaction.
"Mom..." Trunks run to Bulma and hugged her before kissing her forehead. Bulma on the other hand didn't know how to react. Goku had doubts. Bulma is acting weird. She looks so flustered. Goku even felt like that the woman is about to weep.
He didn't waste time, he grabbed Bulma away from Trunks that made Vegeta grunted.
"Kakarot, you don't just grab Bulma that way! Do you have a death wish?"
Goku didn't listen to Vegeta. There's something wrong with Bulma and Videl and they're keeping something from him.
"Where's Chichi?"
Bulma's lips quievered. Seconds later, she started sobbing and Goku's eyes widened.
Oh God! No, not Chichi! This isn't happening!
"Bulma!!" He yelled. He saw how Vegeta wanted to attack him for screaming at his wife but he was restrained by Beerus.
"Where's my wife? Please, tell me what happened to Chichi." His voice went low and he begged. He wanted to beg her to just spill the truth. He can't sense her ki. He can't sense her ki and so he can't find her. He wanted to believe that Chichi must be hiding somewhere and that she's suppressing her ki and so he won't be able to see her ever again. Oh God! He'd rather believe that she won't ever forgive him, than live a life not seeing her face at all.
Bulma reached for his hand and held onto it as if her life depended on it.
"I don't know where she is. We've been looking for her for 8 hours." Bulma started talking and Goku froze.
Chichi has been gone for hours and he didn't even know. He's losing his mind.
"What? Where did she go? Didn't you promised to keep my mom safe?" Goten bursted.
"You ask me to accompany them cause you'll take of my mom, now where the fuck is she?"
Bulma's cries erupted once again.
"Videl, what the fuck is going on?" Gohan looked at his wife. Videl looked away. Now, this gets more difficult as no one from Bulma and Videl wanted to talk.
"We found her unconscious in your house and so we've sent her to a nearby hospital. The doctor said that she was lucky, she was rushed in cause if not, who knows what will happen! She stayed in the hospital for 3 days and she wasn't healed yet, and now, she runaway from the hospital! Will that answer your questions?" 18's angry voice erupted like a canon - exploding in front of them.
Goku was still shock - not even moving. He don't know what to do.
Gohan was worried sick. Thoughts on where his mom might be flooded his mind. He was the only one thinking straight among the three Sons.
Goten was furious. To himself, to Bulma, to everyone, to the situation.
"Oh, please don't even give us that look!" 18 once again shouted at the three of them. Gohan, Goten and Goku can only stare at nothing cause they were guilty.
"Your mom is stubborn, cooking a lot of foods thinking one of these days you guys would return. She knew she was sick but she kept on pushing her limits - thinking about the three of you. Months passed and none of you came home to her! So don't you dare blame us when the three of you did this to her! Now, if you don't rush out to look for her, god fucking knows what will happen to her!"
"She was barely moving Goku, please... Look for her..." Then all of a sudden, 18 kneeled in front of him and begged him to look for Chichi.
"You know how much I hated you for hurting Chichi but you're the only one who can save her right now. Please, look for her. She was just out there."
"She must have went home. Right. She must be just at home. Let's teleport there, Dad." Goten said - trying to convince himself that his mom's just at home - waiting for them.
"Let's scattered and try to look for her everywhere." Krilin suggested.
--