Sheldon Swifties LIX: "The X-Advisors…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
Part XXXVIII…
"I don't see why Amy and I can't go..." Sheldon noted.
"Sheldon, it will be enough for you and young Sheldon to convince Dr. Stein...This gives Kripke and me an opportunity to find adult Susan." Amy noted.
Not to mention if I run into young Susan at her home just right now...It wouldn't be pretty.
Find adult Susan...The homicidal maniwac? The bodacious if homicidal maniwac? Cleawrly in need of the comfowrt one Kwripke can pwrovide?
Hmmn. Wiolent death wersus the slightest chance of scowring?
Yes, the slightest chance…Of winning her twrust. Otherwise. I just kill her. Kripke, calmly to himself.
Kill the bitch who killed my Lwesley. If I can't scowre hewr into putting things wright.
"Sounds good to me." he nodded.
"Kripke." Sheldon sighed. Looking about...Good, the little putz counterpart is still in our bathroom. "I'd no idea perversion could enhance courage but she's insane not blind or deaf. She'd kill you far more likely than sleep with you. Though she might do both, in either order."
"Kinky..." nod. "I'm on boawrd, Cooper. And it makes for an efficient division of our stwrengh, given she has no idea we thumbed a wride on hewr matwrix."
Amy blinked at him. Knew he would be drawn to this like a moth to an insanely hot flame but I woulda thought I'd have to deal with a degree of cowardly whimpering…
But he agreed immediately, Sheldon says, to help him build the matrix controller to break in on Leonard's and therefore Susan's expanded, wormhole signature frequency…
There...Might...Be more here than just a desire to copulate with a very lovely mass murderess. After all , even Kripke has family...People he cares about...I suppose.
And of course it did give him a chance to show Sheldon his theoretical ability in a crisis momenet...Though the doodading part could have been done by Howard…
Oh...She blinked back tears. Poor Howard...Bernadette...Their babies...OH...
"Sheldon? We can't miss any chance." she quickly noted. "Susan is essential, both knowledgewise, and in any case, to phyically stop this before she acts, by any means. We owe our friends too much to be cautious now, just because we're safe."
"All right. You may both be right. Kripke, if Amy reports one lewd remark directed her way, regards her not Susan..."
"Sacwred, I assuwre, you, Cooper."
"And..." Pause. "He has been a good friend in all this, look after him, Amy. Don't let him get hurt."
She, smiling to Sheldon's wan smile. Kripke, fuming a bit but rather pleased, all-in-all...
…
"Well?" young Amy, sternly. "Talk...Who are you?|
"I tole you. I'm Dr. Penelope Hofstadter...I'm the woman who called you to warn you." Penny insisted. "I'm not the one I tole you to watch out for!"
"Perhaps. You sound like her. What are you a doctor of…?"
"Why, uh...Physics. Of course. The Science Queen."
"Oh…?" frown. "Well, then. What are the five basic principles?"
"What?"
"If you're a physicist..." the needle pressed.
Oh, God...Honesty? Or…
What would Sheldon say?
"Please, spare me trick questions...The basic principles are the province of engineers..." Penny sniffed. "I solely concern myself with the lofty heights of theory."
Whoa...Is Sheldon's ghost channeling me or what?
Hmmn...Amy pondered...
"Excellent answer...Still...If you really are a physicist..." needle pressed.
Oh, Lord...Leonard! Leonard! I can't screw this now...
"Well see, there are five basic principles to construct all other physical laws and equations. These five basic principles are: (1) Constituent principle: the basic constituents of matter are various kinds of identical particles. This can also be called locality principle; (2) Causality principle: the future state depends only on the present state; (3) Covariance principle: the physics should be invariant under an arbitrary coordinate transformation; (4) Invariance or Symmetry principle: the spacetime is homogeneous; (5) Equi-probability principle: all the states in an isolated system are expected to be occupied with equal probability. Really neat, huh?" Penny, flatly.
Oh, Leonard...She blinked…
"Quite right..." Amy eyed her. "And I suppose it is 'really neat'..."
"Oh, yeah...It was...It really was..." Penny, tearing.
Oh, I remembered every word, each time he told me that, and never knew...Unless, I'm possessed?
Oh, you possess me all you want, Leonard Hofstadter. Never leave me...
"I'm sorry to have threatened you, Doctor." Amy withdrew needle. "It was only that I'd been warned and I have to protect Sheldon. Please don't become emotional distraught again. Here, I retrieved some of the napkins..." offers napkins.
"I'll try." Penny, nodded. "Thanks."
"Now what is the danger to Sheldon and who is the blonde woman? And just when did you come from?"
Penny blinked.
"I saw the credit card with an expiration date of 10/20 on it when you retrieved funds for paying your bill. You seem to have knowledge of me and Sheldon and some danger to him. You're not any of the still relatively few women in Physics to have achieved doctoral degrees within the past ten years...Believe me I've followed them all, to determine any potential rivals. All this points to you being from the future, at least within approximately five years of 2020." Amy concluded.
"Did Sheldon send you?" she asked, rather eagerly. "Have I become his beloved? And he sent you across time and space to warn me of something threatening our predestined future?"
Penny, staring…
"Please remember I still have my syringe at hand...Especially if you came back to prevent our love." Amy regarded her carefully.
"No, you're not future Charlotte in disguise. And you do have more of an experimental physicist look to you, despite your unsettling beauty. You're Sheldon's colleague, a polite term for assistant/sidekick, aren't you?"
Penny still staring…
She's a little off but terrifyingly close…Giving feeble nod.
"I thought so." Amy, satisfied nod.
Wait...Sidekick? Penny thought...
"The only question remains...Are you actually here to warn and help me? Or are you insanely jealous of me and came back to do me in or otherwise prevent Sheldon from loving me?" grim stare.
"Amy, you're...Amazingly right, though not completely." Penny noted. "Please can we go talk somewhere?"
"I prefer here where, given in fact I lied, no one can hear us, I'm able to deal with you more effectively if you prove dangerous." Amy, calmly. "So, in what ways am I wrong?"
"Sheldon didn't send me...Though I am his friend, one of his best friends."
"Sheldon? Friends?" Amy eyed her. "Beautiful friends like you?" narrow-eyed stare.
"But I'm your bestie...Best friend." Hurriedly. "And I love you both…"
"You? You're my friend? My bestie?" Amy stared...Chuckling, then grimly serious. "Clearly, my first supposition about you was wrong. You're not Sheldon's agent, but plotting against us."
"No. NO!" as she felt the needle's lightest touch against her thigh. "Amy, it's true. I'm your best friend and I love you. I helped you get Sheldon!"
"Nonsense. No other woman, especially one so beautiful would 'help' me 'get' Sheldon. You obviously want him for yourself and came back to prevent my eventually managing to work up the courage to meet him and declare my love." Amy, sternly.
"Wouldn't I just do that and not tell you who I am?"
"You didn't, mostly. You concocted a cock and bull story about warning me in order to meet me and size up your opposition." grim stare. "Anyone as beautiful as you would be furious at being denied Sheldon by me. It drove you to this insane attempt, didn't it?"
"No, I love Sheldon but only as..."
"'Friends, again'...Please." Amy frowned. "Sheldon Cooper has no friends, a genius on his soaring level has no time for sordid relationships. Only our own forthcoming special and unique spiritual and physical bonding...In short, psycho future miss. He is not for you."
"Why, Amy..." Penny smiled. "That's so beautiful. You were nuts about Sheldon, absolute nuts about him, even before you met in that...Uh...Place." frown. "And you didn't trust your own bestie enough to tell me all?" hurt tone.
Amy eyeing her…
"It's true, isn't it?" Penny sighed. "You only became friends with me because you were afraid of me and Sheldon. Amy? How could you?" weeping again.
"What?" Amy, careful stare…
She could be trying to gain my trust...And get me to retract my needle.
"All those years, I thought you were my bestie and you just wanted to be sure I didn't put moves on Sheldon..."
"Sounds plausible, but..."Amy began.
"You lied to me!" Penny, sobbing now. "Was even that picture of us a lie?"
"Picture? Of us?" Amy stared. Sidelong glance at the weeping Penny…
"Sorry, I've had a terrible last two days..." Penny waving hands, trying to dab eyes.
"Were we by any chance in a lesbian relationship, Doctor?" Amy, carefully. "I'm sorry if I deceived you to be sure you weren't in love with Sheldon. That was cruel to lead you on, if so."
"What? No. I mean, you did...Wait a minute?" Penny glared. "You did that deliberately, too! All those suggestions we experiment...Oh..." Weeping yet again.
"How do you manage to do any experimental work?" Amy shook head, offering the last of her napkins. "Please try to curb your emotions."
"I've lost everything...And even you lied to me..." Penny sighed, shaking head. "How could you, Amy?"
"I'm sorry...Clearly I followed the philosophy that alls fair in Love..." Amy noted. "Still if my relationship with Sheldon became secure...And I felt you no threat…."
"You mean, you did become my bestie, just later?" Penny, seizing eagerly.
"Somehow, I think the idea was for you to be comforting me..." Amy pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah...We'll get to that." Penny waved a hand. "I just need to know there's some chance for us..."
"This sounds like the lesbian relationship I mentioned. Sorry, I feel certain even my future self doesn't do threeways nor operates on the down-lo. Pardon me for breaking your heart." sympathetic tone.
She's like a big blonde indescribably beautiful ,despite the rather unkempt dress, hurt puppy...Poor thing.
"No...I mean, as friends."
"Back to that..." narrow stare. "It is true, there have been times in the past, especially after my sister was shipped off to France, that I have longed for a friend of the female persuasion to share with and confide in, but somehow, I can't see you as that friend."
"What?" Penny blinked. "Why not?"
"Well, while you might well qualify as an experimental physicist...We are clearly not on the same intellectual level." Amy, calmly.
What? But I knew the principles and… We've barely spoken and you've already…?
"And second, your personality, while from what I can see, and assuming you're not a deceptive serpent, is warm and full of heart...Hardly matches my own passionately dark yet white hot one. And your taste in clothes, girl? Surely I would have taught you how to dress by now, in the future present sense? I mean, look at you?"
"What?"
"If you were, or will be, my bestie, I surely would have taken you in hand..." Amy noted. "Starting with your shoes..."
"My shoes?!" Penny, struck at the heart.
"Still...It could be I've been anxious to downplay your looks." Amy, thoughtfully. "A bit cruel of me but commendable on the alls fair in Love front."
Come to think of it, early on, Amy did once or twice urge me to buy shoes that…
Oh!
…
"Are you suwre Cooper can pull this off, eithewr of him...Conwincing Stwein I mean?" Kripke asked as he and Amy made their way across the Austin campus toward the Physics Department. The most logical place to start seeking the desperately sought Susan...She was sure to be lurking after the younger Sheldon. And just possibly she might require use of the lab.
"If the Sheldons, with the evidence on them, can't convince Dr. Stein, our presence there wouldn't help." Amy shook head. "Besides, it's too dangerous..." she paused.
"Yeah, I'd pwrobably stwrangle the little bwitch myself, if I were you." Kripke nodded, smile to her look. She nodding at last...
"I couldn't bear to see Sheldon see my rage...Especially little Sheldon...And little Susan is still an innocent child. But, for the chance to stop this..." she eyed Kripke. "Sheldon won't. He couldn't. Neither of him."
"Yeah. He has quite the thwing for you, you know." smile.
"He does, doesn't he? I wasn't prepared for him to be so..."
"Wraging howrmones of the teen entewring pubewrty." Kripke nodded.
"I meant to say, 'adorable' but I suppose that's true too."
"And you don't you wove it, you wixen." grin at her blushing face.
"Knowing Sheldon loved me even as soon as I loved him...From the moment he met me, well...At least from the moment he got a good look at me at Penn Station helping him with his petition. It's..." She blushed again.
"Your dwream..." he nodded. "I get that."
She eyed him… "Barry? What the hell is going on here? When did you become so…?"
"I'm many things, Fowler, but I care about our world, some..." he frowned.
"I get that...But...Sheldon went to you and immediately you believed him? That Susan Stein might destroy our universe, with the help of Dr. Francis and poor Leonard's experiment?"
"I know what some of us would do for love, Amy." he shrugged. "And I saw the look in Susan's eyes when she saw you with him, back at that reception. And despite my wrespect for hewr awrtiswry, I also wrespect her abilities as a physicist. And I've read her dad's early papers on wormhole quantum channeling and expansion. I knew she wasn't just crazy. I knew she might do it, for love."
She blinked at the lack of lisp…
"You lost someone. Even before the explosion..." she breathed. "Oh, Barry...I'm so sorry."
"I lost hewr...Twice...Both pewrmanently. And I can nevewr get hewr back, even if I save hewr now." he shrugged. "But I might save hewr. And I can twry and see you and the othewrs get it all back. That's something. That's enough." wan smile.