Okay, this can't be happening, can it? Gods above- they want to arrest me? Me? Me in my now tattered dress blues, with a freaking badge on my chest that's still as tightly bound to the uniform as it was the day it was first pinned there? Is there another literal black sheep in the city, on the ZPD I mean, who has such a pronounced Flatlands accent? Or- just-

"Gods damn it he's been drugged and I need to see a doctor, see my mother, please, someone, anyone-," I say- or at least that's what I try to say and here he comes… gods this is it isn't it?

-and then my legs are flying out and there's the smell of blood in the air and I'm not sure if it's mine or-

Jason- is it his? Gods, I hope it's not his-

There are officers storming everywhere, he's screaming, Jason's screaming-

"Hey leave him alone!" I try to get out, but there are officers everywhere and we're both being dragged along like chattel and they're pulling us in two different directions and I'm trying trying trying trying to get back to Jason, to get him back to me, where he goes I go where I go he goes no you're not taking him from me but they're still dragging us along and every person that I pass by shakes their head at me and pinches their snout; Mary, we knew all along that you wouldn't be able to do this and now you're just having the wool lifted from over your eyes-

-and I'm still fighting back, throwing fists as best as I can, lemme at 'em lemme at 'em- until I'm thrown tail-over-head into a cell and then the video feed to my eyes decides it doesn't need to be working, bedtime-

The concrete floor of the cell is even colder as I come to, head pounding… at least they haven't muzzled me, I don't even know if they make them for prey mammals like me… never mind the story that Jason would tell me about his uncle Terry eating one of my mother's favorite flowers when he was a kit and going nuts…

Speaking of those flowers, gods, they're back they're back they're back and they're stuffing me in here to keep me out of the way… it's weird, they're treating me as if I'm my mother, and freaking hell we really couldn't be more opposite- aside from the crippling anxiety and the persistent mammal-pleasing but hell that's besides the point- I'm here and Jason's not, I need him… I really need him… is it weird that I'm already thinking about what I'd want to wear to our wedding when that would hopefully happen? Or nah?

You know what it really is though? My brain trying desperately to ignore the pain, the fear, the frustration, my mind feels like it's been in a car wreck and everything hurts hurts hurts so so so so freaking much-

"Mary? Mary are you okay? What're you doing here, sweetheart?"

Huh who's talking to me huh who what why wha?

Oh, it's my mom… hi, Dawn…

I shouldn't think about her like that, she's my mom, my mother, my rock for the last nearly twenty- I think it's been almost twenty, my brain can't think about dates right now- years- but all it can think right now about her is that she's Dawn Bellwether, that this is the sheep who tried to tear down the city with her hooves all because some tailhole lion got too big for his britches… maybe that's a little bit too simplistic, like, okay, Mary, if you were to get up in front of a jury, my psyche wonders, would you have to have all that testimony thrown away because your bias is showing through and then because that was the only thing you had, they'd throw you right in jail for good and heck they might even decide that lamb would be a good thing to have for dinner…

But even though she's my mom, I can't break my mind out of the whole 'this is a criminal' mindset that the past few months have drilled into me- is that wrong? I love her love her love her and yet- and yet, I'm a cop- or I was a cop, heaven knows if they'll let me back onto the force-

I don't want to rejoin, my mind whispers, and that thought catches me off-guard for a second. I've spent my whole life only wanting this, wanting this, wanting this and it's given me what? I sacrificed the love that I knew I had because I was so convinced that they could never change, that they're just criminals and I'm not that, that I'm better than that. I've spent my whole life trying to prove that I was more than that- and I know I am, but there's a case that needs to get solved and if they won't help me, fine… I'm sorry Nick, I'm sorry Judy- I'm going to help your son, and since people like you won't help me, I'll do it myself.

"Mary?" my mom's voice asks again, finally cutting through my thoughts, making me start backwards when I feel her hoof on my shoulder and gaaaah….

"Yeah Mom what's up?" I shoot back, shaking my head that it's still 'cop-mode Mary' that she's getting, even considering all of this…

"I'm so sorry you're going through this, sweetheart," she says, sighing into her hooves. "If I hadn't listened to him-"

"Mom, I'm- look, I'm not mad at you, hell I'm not even angry with you. Do I think you were a freaking fool, yes, of course. Do I think you should rot? I'm not sure. Do I hate you? Absolutely not. I'm mad at the system… try to help a friend and this's what you get…"

"I was trying to help a friend too, dear," she says, sighing again, and I can't catch her eyes, I can't, just-

"I was trying to help a friend too, and I was so eager to help that I let the system twist my anger into hatred… you got that from me, Mary, and I loved your father dearly, but he never tried to stop the anger. We fed off of each other, please," she says, pulling on my shoulder until I have no choice but to turn around and face her," don't let that become you… there's so much more to you than that, love. You can do this…"

"But what if I can't, mom?" I ask, trying to summon my courage. "What if I can't?"

"Then get help from that boyfriend of yours…"

"He's a little more now…," I say, thankful for once to have black wool…"

"I thought maybe, but I now know better than to assume… where is he, anyways?"

"He, um, they were experimenting on him… he's- he's not entirely with us right now," I groan. "And now that I'm here, well… this is spiraling out of control… mom, is there anyone who was part of Dad's plans who they haven't caught?"

"Just one," she says, and then there's a clanging on the bars, an officer coming to tell me visitation time's up, probably.

I turn around, and that's exactly who it is- "Come on, Miss Bellwether, your loverboy's finally under… you want to come see him?"

Do I ever…

I pause though, leave mom or see Jason, leave mom or see Jason-

"Go on, dear, you've got this," she says, smiling at me, eyes shining despite the orange all over everything, "Come back and visit me, alright?"

"Alright," I say, smiling back, all the while trying to ignore the thoughts- who could it be who could it be-

-and then, right as we're about to enter the med ward, it clicks-

Oh my god, and he's still Mayor? Well, we're really screwed!