A/N: I'm highly shocked by the lack of response to the last chapter. I literally received two review after posting the chapter. While I heartily thank kagomeLove2 and Patata for leaving such elaborate reviews and making me feel like posting today, I was deeply hurt when nobody else left any review, not even a single sentence. Guys, it takes a lot of efforts to write and edit the chapters and post twice a week. I know that many people are reading, a few words of your review will only encourage me.

Chapter 16: In Faith And Trust

Hermione's journey from Spinner's End to her compartment in Hogwarts Express had been little more than a blur. She remembered parts of Professor McGonagall's attempt at making an apology, to which Hermione had mechanically replied that she was not angry, not with her in any case. I just feel cold and physically broken, if possible, remained unsaid.

She had walked alone to the platform, but even the commotion at the busy station could not impede her loud train of thought. Suddenly, a thick glum had befallen her, fogging her mind. She had been early to the Platform, instead of waiting she went to sit in an empty compartment by herself. She was suddenly too exhausted to stand and wait for anyone. Hermione dimly remembered her Prefect's duty, but that was so far away in her mind that she did not want to act on it.

A conversation was playing in her head continuously. One she had had with her father.

'Oh, yes, I think a few letters arrived for you this afternoon, Love.'

'Oh, I've read them. They were from Ron and Harry."

'I think there were more than two- Oh, shoot!'

And then something had happened, maybe the oven was suddenly emitting smoke or... She could not remember. But in that moment, she had missed what her Dad was trying to say—there had been more than two letters. And she had missed the most important letter!

She! It was all her fault. Her irresponsible behaviour! Not Snape, not the Headmaster, not her Head of House.

If only she could have read that letter, if only she would have sent her parents away, if only she had had her wand during the attack! If only!

It was her magic! Because she was a witch! Because she did not check the mail properly despite being aware of the existing dangers after Voldemort's return! It was because Hermione did not have the presence of mind to leave her Muggle neighbourhood along with her parents when there was time!

She felt cold, so cold, and tired... As if a physical part of her had been snatched away, brutally... She felt something akin to what she had felt in days following the attack itself. But the guilt was more prominent, so much more prominent and reasonable.

She stroked Crookshanks coat unconsciously. "I want to go home..."

But home was gone...

Distantly, she heard the train whistling. One look at the window revealed the throng of parents hugging their parting children and waving happy goodbyes.

"I need my Mum and Dad..." She felt like her five-year-old self, wishing to go home from school because her peers were laughing at her. But back then, she just had to wait for a couple of hours to go back home... Now, however...no amount of waiting could take her where she desired to go.

She vaguely registered when the train started moving. Hermione leaned her head to the cool glass of the window and shivered a bit. She willed tears to come to her relief, but none came...

Crookshanks climbed onto her lap, as if had sensed his Mistress' disposition. Hermione hugged him close and buried her face in his fur, a stray leaking from the corner of her eyes but bringing no relief to her wounded pieces.

UUUUUUU

"Hermione?" A hand on her shoulder woke Hermione up from a restless sleep. She looked up at the bespectacled green eyes of her friend. "Harry..." She sat up, rubbing her stiff neck.

Outside, the scenery had grown dark. She could see the Scottish landscape running opposite to the train and realised how close to school they were.

"I thought you didn't board the train," he said, studying her.

"I...had arrived pretty early so..." She shrugged. "Just thought I'd sit here, and then I just...dozed off."

Harry was watching her with concern. Shadows passed over his face as the train went under a bridge. "C'mon, come and sit with us."

She did not want to, but explaining him would take energy that she did not have. Even after having slept for several hours, there was a deep weariness in her movements... "Alright," she mumbled and got up to go out of the compartment.

"Take your cat," Harry said. When she turned back, he was looking at her with somewhat disbelief. But Hermione was irresponsible, wasn't she? She was careless. "And your uniform, too- let it be, I'll take your trunk along." He bent down to pick her trunk while Hermione took Crookshanks in her arms.

"Come," he said and led her out. Around her, the students were chatting. Some closed compartment revealed groups of friends joking, playing Exploding Snaps, some indulged in frivolous arm-wrestling. But the jolly air only suffocated her further for she felt a sharp contrast to what the others were exuding.

Hermione walked in a daze until they were standing outside another compartment. Harry slid the door open and the conversation inside died down.

"You are here?" Ginny was a little too loud, Hermione felt.

"We thought you'd already be in school," Ron said. "Y'know with McGonagall."

Hermione just shrugged and forced a smile.

Ginny removed a lone wrapper of a chocolate frog from beside herself and patted the seat clean. "What were you doing all this time?"

Hermione sat near the window, beside Ginny. "I had...dozed off."

Crookshanks hissed at Ron in his customary fashion and settled beneath the seat, adjusting himself between two trunks.

Hermione leaned against the window again. She was still feeling cold. She moved her hands to tighten her cloak around herself but her hands only met with her jumper.

As the train moved, the vibrations were trying to lull her into sleep. But among the feel of three sets of gazes scrutinising her, she could not find much rest.

'Oh, yes, I think a few letters arrived for you this afternoon, Love.'

'Oh, I've read them. They were from Ron and Harry."

'I think there were more than two- Oh, shoot!'

"Hermione?" Ginny's voice startled her. She looked up to find all three of them staring at her. "You alright?"

She sat up, "Just tired..."

"I asked you if you went for your Prefect's duties?" Ron said, looking at her with confusion.

Duties? But she was not meant to take responsibilities. "No, I...didn't...couldn't."

"You missed your duties?" Ron was gawking at her. "You? This one always drags me to-"

"Well, you should probably change now," Ginny cut her brother off.

Hermione looked at her wrist watch—they would be arriving in about ten minutes.

"Isn't that a men's watch?" Ginny asked, taking her hand.

Hermione noticed that she was still wearing the watch Snape had given her, a Portkey. She was in a habit of keeping it on her wrist all the time, probably that was why she had forgotten about it. "Yes, it's... Probably." She took her hand back. "I need to change," she mumbled, getting up. "I left my trunk in the other compartment-"

"I've brought it," Harry said.

"Honestly, Hermione, are you like sleep-walking or something?"

Ron laughed. "He got it right in front of you- Ow!" He fell silent after Ginny had kicked his shin.

"Sorry, I didn't notice," she shrugged again. Hermione bent down to pull her trunk out from under the seat. Even that mundane action caused her discomfort and loss of energy. She opened the lid and took her uniform out.

"You want me to come with you?" Ginny offered.

"No, I'll be fine," Hermione mumbled and stepped out, only vaguely aware that she had also left her trunk open.

UUUUUUU

Food felt like cardboard in her mouth, with no taste but bland chewy scraps. She was barely aware of what she was even chewing on. Hermione kept washing it down with pumpkin juice.

The Great Hall was so noisy, it irked her. She had not paid attention to the Sorting, only clapping when she saw her other friends applauding on a new addition to Gryffindor.

When the Headmaster had gotten up for his Welcome speech, she thought she would feel anger. But she felt...nothing. Just cold and broken. And maybe partly numb. The man had, after all, sent her the information, albeit only hours prior to the attack. It was her mistake not to have checked the mail thoroughly. It was nobody else's but her own fault. Had she been more careful, more thoughtful...

There had been some disturbance when a new Professor was introduced as the Potions Professor, and Snape as the new DADA Instructor. Hermione kept her eyes trained on her lap, neither clapping nor berating. What did she care who got which position...

But Snape. That nudged another train of thoughts. She had been blaming him all along and with right. She had seen him murder her parents. But now, with the new information that he had provided the intel to the Headmaster in time, left her in a dilemma. Whether to trust him or take every action of his as a manipulation to Professor Dumbledore? Was Snape on their side or double-crossing them?

Her eyes travelled to the Head Table. Snape sat beside Professor McGonagall, frowning into his plate.

She did not want to be a part of this mess! She did not want to decipher Snape's loyalties or deal with the consequences of her own fault of overlooking the mail on that fateful night in June. She wanted to go home.

"Oh, tell Hermione 'bout Malfoy," Ron said.

The mention of her name brought her attention back to the table.

"Yes, it's important," Harry said, leaning close. "We saw Malfoy in Knockturn Alley, at Borgin and Burkes. We followed him under the cloak-"

'Oh, yes, I think a few letters arrived for you this afternoon, Love.'

'Oh, I've read them. They were from Ron and Harry."

'I think there were more than two- Oh, shoot!'

"-Do you think he's taken the Dark Mark?" Harry asked.

Hermione who had paid little attention to what her friend was saying earlier, only shrugged. "Could be."

"I bet he has, that little ferret-faced," Ron added. "He's upto something, I am telling you!"

'Oh, yes, I think a few letters arrived for you this afternoon, Love.'

'Oh, I've read them. They were from Ron and Harry."

'I think there were more than two- Oh, shoot!'

"You should have seen what Diagon Alley looks like now, blimey," Ron shook his head. "Shops are closing, people are missing."

"They're being kidnapped," Ginny amended.

Mum and Dad were kidnapped, too.

"Some of them are going into hiding," Harry said.

I should have sent them into hiding, too.

"Diagon was almost desolated," Ginny sighed.

A vague picture of a crowded street in front of Flourish and Blotts flashed before her eyes. Imagining those streets empty, those smiling faces of shopkeepers and excited shoppers scrunched with fear sent a nasty feeling to her stomach.

They were all dying, Hermione. You should have been vigilant.

Hermione shuddered. She kept her fork down and wiped her mouth with her serviette. "Ron, can you look after my Prefect Duty for today, please? I'm really tired."

"Sure," he agreed. "Won't you eat?"

She shook her head and got up. "What's the password?"

"Fide et fiducia," Ginny told her in a low voice for the sake of secrecy.

Faith and trust—and I have none.

"Thanks," she mumbled, and walked away.

UUUUUUU

Granger was too quiet.

Severus stood before the class of Sixth year Gryffindors and—Albus be damned—Slytherins, on his first day as a Defence Professor. And the first question that he had asked still hung in the air, while the entire batch of dunderheads was gawking at him as if he were speaking Goblin!

He had heard—because anyone with ears could hear Umbridge's inane taunts and remarks throughout the last year—about Potter's attempt at a student-level Defence Club. Though the boy had taken the role of an instructor, Severus highly doubted him to know much of the theory.

But Granger? She was too quiet and Severus was more than certain that the girl knew every detail about Non-verbal magic. Yet, she was less than inclined to answer. Whether it was because of the absurdity of the situation of having lived with him for two months striking suddenly, or it was Albus' letter still on her mind, Severus was not sure.

Her face was not cold anymore, but her eyes had a hint of...resignation and meekness? In the past two months, he had seen the girl incensed, cold, bawling, compassionate, diligent—but not meek. Granger was not meek by any means, or so he would ensure!

"Miss Granger," he drawled. When the girl looked up, he continued, "Is our resident Know-It-All not a year ahead with the curriculum already?"

Potter's eyes flashed with anger, but Granger surreptitiously held his forearm. "Sorry, Sir. What was the question again?" She spoke without an expression in her voice.

"Ah, lost in your reverie, I see," he taunted half-heartedly for the sake of the Slytherin audience. His eyes met hers with question. Of course, she averted her gaze from his. "I asked, what are Non-verbal spells, Miss Granger?"

"Non-verbal spells are..."

And thus she quoted the entire chapter—and more. He saw several students actually taking notes of what she was saying, not for the first time. When she imparted knowledge, her eyes mechanically held a shine. Severus felt relieved. Perhaps she was merely uncomfortable to see him in the role of her Professor again. He decided to make certain that his behaviour renaming absolutely unchanged towards her when in class.

"Five points from Gryffindor for not sticking to the question asked and wasting our time with your overabundance of verbiage." With that, he turned away to address the class at large.

"What's his problem, the git!" The Weasley boy muttered not too quietly.

"Hush, Ron," Granger shushed him, but without any force or conviction, Severus observed.

"You alright, Hermione?" Potter asked in close to a whisper. To which, Granger said nothing, but had probably nodded.

The class went on mostly as planned. The students began with their dismal efforts at the Non-verbal Spells. As they were paired, all Severus could see was a bunch of dunderheads waving and flicking their wands before their partners.

Draco met Severus' eyes from where he was partnered up with Parkinson. Severus was hoping for a sign of cognizance to indicate that the boy knew about the Unbreakable Vow. But all he saw was apprehension and a reluctance.

Draco looked away immediately, focusing on his wand movements. The Parkinson girl had clumsy movements and as most of her focus was drawn towards her partner rather than her own wand, Severus did not even expect her to perform.

He would have to call the girl to his office to have a word now, or the girl would fail the lesson—that was the issue with his Slytherins, especially the children of Death Eaters. If he ever corrected them in public, he would be at a risk of arising suspicion.

How he hated teaching under the kind of pressure! Yes, he was biased with his Slytherins, but as a teacher, he at least needed the liberty to speak freely, but that he could do only in the privacy of his office.

Zabini was making progress, Severus noted with some satisfaction. His partner, Nott, however was concentrating less on his magic and more on the strength with which he was flicking his wand. That was a common mistake the students made in the initial stage.

Crabbe and Goyle—the two idiots darkened the Slytherin name! Another two students he would have to talk in private and instruct. Maybe, he could call all the three students together and be done with it. Nott did not need special assistance, and Severus was hardly inclined to tutor another student privately.

The rest of his Slytherins would eventually master the skill, he decided. He turned his attention to the Gryffindors.

Weasley was paired up with Longbottom. Severus found himself at a happy surprise to note that the Longbottom lad was not as miserable at Defence as he was at Potions. That was a headache reduced. Weasley was committing the same mistake as Nott—that could be a chance for him to correct both the boys at once.

"Mr. Weasley, if you would put more efforts into channelising your magic than the forceful, foolish wand-waving, you might have a chance at accomplishing a single hex by the end of the term," he sneered. Weasley's face gained an unhealthy shade of red. With the corner of his eyes, Severus noted that the Nott boy had heeded the advice, too.

Patil and Brown were giggling away as they flicked their wands at each other without managing to make a difference.

"Miss Patil, Miss Brown, you are free to leave the class if your interest lies not in the lesson, but in cackling." Like hens, was left unsaid as Granger's words came back in his head.

'...someone needs to tell you how deeply it can affect a pubescent teen to be insulted so blatantly by a figure of authority, before one's peers.'

"Ten points from Gryffindor!" He barked instead and turned away from the pair of girls.

How dare the Granger girl have the audacity to have confronted him!

Why am I even abiding by her words!

It did not come as a surprise, but rather a relief, when the first student to accomplish a Non-verbal Stinging Hex was Granger. At Potter's yelp, Severus watched a small, triumphant smile gracing the girl's face up.

Severus refrained from acknowledging her performance at all for the sake of pretence.

"Great, Hermione!" The boy grinned, rubbing his targeted shoulder.

But as suddenly as her face had perked up, it lost all and any trace of pride. Granger looked tired at best, older than her age.

Severus frowned, it was quite clear that Granger was distracted. The issue might be more intense than a natural adjustment issues after a long summer with unusual circumstances. Something was troubling her, something he could not quite put a finger on.

For the rest of the lesson, Severus' attention lingered on Granger but he could not accomplish much between throwing clandestine glances at the girl and instructing the other students with their constant failure at casting a single spell.