Chapter 21: Squint To Read
Contrary to popular belief, Severus Snape did not find pleasure in supervising students' detentions. Handing out detentions did give him satisfaction, yes, but spending any extra time with the dunderheads, no.
That evening, he was seeing to a Second year Ravenclaw's detention. The boy had slept in his class—his class! The reasoning the student offered was—'I have been studying till late, Professor', accompanied with an irritating amount of fumbling and stammering.
Now, the boy was writing lines. But even the mere presence was annoying Severus who was marking some essays, inwardly cursing the band of dunderheads for their utter incompetence. He could not believe how utterly thick the students were at Defence Against the Dark Arts. Granted, they had never had a sound teacher before, but it seemed they could not even manage to read the textbooks!
Twenty minutes were left to curfew. The Potions Master decided to send the boy back in the next five minutes, with a sound warning. He huffed to himself, why did he not just assign all of his detentions for Filch to look after! That would be so much easier. But honestly, he did not trust the obnoxious caretaker with the younger students.
He scribbled a T on the essay he was checking and dumped it into the pile of marked essays, wishing it to be a dustbin instead. Before he could grab the next parchment, the invisible band on his finger grew warm.
Severus looked at his hand. The last time that had happened, he had inadvertently made the bond punish Granger. Damn it! His mind raced through all the terms. But all were satisfied for the day.
So what else could it mean?
He needed to see Granger immediately. Then glancing at the fireplace, he decided that only Minerva could help him to reach Granger at the earliest.
"Mr. Roger, you are excused," he said with a sense of urgency. "Head straight to your common room."
"Yes, Professor," the boy having caught the tone, quickly grabbed his inkwell and quill, and exited the office.
Severus strode to his fireplace and knelt to its level. He grabbed some Floo powder from the glass jar and firecalled Minerva. Thankfully, she was present in her office.
"Severus?" Her voice echoed in his office.
Severus put his head into the fire. "Minerva, I need you to contact Miss Granger immediately."
"What on Earth-"
But Severus cut her off. "My ring is warming, and I am afraid she is again suffering through some discomfort on the account of the bond."
"Oh, Sweet Lord," Minerva sounded panicked. "Poor girl. I shall find her immediately. Give me a minute."
But before she could disconnect the call, Severus spoke, "In fact, let me step through." Minerva agreed. Severus quickly stepped out of Minerva's fireplace into her office.
"Wait here," she said to him and grabbed some powder. "Gryffindor Tower!" She called and stepped into the flames.
His house-elf had brought Severus' washed handkerchief and the cleaned photo frame from Granger in the morning. He had taken the jam before all the three meals that he took. Granger had a one hour class with him, which meant they had, in fact, exceeded the mandatory thirty minutes in each other's company. He could find no other reason for his ring to emit heat. The risen temperature of the metal was unsettling him greatly. The bond was publishing the girl, Severus had little doubt.
He dimly wondered what Minerva would tell Granger's housemates for the girl's sudden discomfort, and how their Head of House had stepped in just in time. But Minerva would make a plausible story, he was certain. He needed to contemplate how exactly would they placate Granger's tormenting ring if the girl was, indeed, in pain.
He began pacing the office when Minerva emerged from the Floo. Before he could inquire, she said, "Miss Granger is not in the Tower."
Dear Merlin!
"She had come to me sometime ago, though," Minerva told him.
"Check the Library, I would suggest," Severus said hastily.
"It is almost curfew, Severus, Irma would have closed the Library half an hour ago," she reasoned. "Maybe she is with Poppy."
"Could be," he agreed. "Firecall her."
Minerva knelt before the fireplace with a wince as her joints cracked—Severus made a mental note to brew something for his colleague later.
Minerva put her head into the flames, Severus could not hear the conversation. He was annoyed with the girl to be missing at such a crucial time. But he also feared that she was somewhere in the corridors, alone, too much in pain to make her way back.
If that was the case...
Minerva ended the call. "No, she didn't go to Poppy after her shift was over." As she tried to get on her feet, Severus offered her a hand, that the older woman gratefully took.
"We must start checking the corridors, then," Severus suggested. "If she is-"
But just then, the fireplace flared to life. "Professor?" Potter's voice came from the fire as his face emerged into the flames. "She is outside. Somewhere below the Astronomy Tower."
"And how do you know that, Mr. Potter?" Minerva with her usual sternness, but with a hint of relief.
Below the Astronomy Tower? What was she-
Good Lord!
Somehow, Severus found himself cognisant of exactly why she was there, below the Astronomy Tower. His stomach sank. Suddenly, the heat of the metal band was the only sensation he found himself capable of feeling.
Granger's empty, Occluded eyed flashed before his own.
He immediately fled from Minerva's office, jerking the door open with the force not strictly required. He ignored Minerva's voice that followed him as he ran and sprinted out of the school.
Hogwarts castle suddenly felt too huge to him as he crossed numerous corridors and flung down the moving staircases. He was glad that it was after curfew and he encountered not a soul on his way out. Yet, his wand was tightly gripped in his hand, just in case.
He fervently prayed to no one in particular for his conclusion to be false; to find the girl only roaming about after curfew. But deep down, he knew what was to come. He had known for a while, he had seen the signs—how she had shut herself out, how her eyes had ceased to reflect her soul.
Granger had not been well for a long time.
And yet, he had watched in silence.
Severus left the castle through the Entrance Hall and ran outside. It was dark, he lit his wand up with a muttered Lumos. Only the distant hooting of the owls and murmuring of magical creatures from the Forbidden Forest was swirling in the deep stillness of the eerie night. He had often ventured out of the castle at the late hours in the thick darkness. And just like every time he was summoned at this hour, he harboured a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.
Severus made his way to where Potter had indicated.
He knew better than doubting the Potter boy at the moment. Severus was privy to the existence of some internal map of the school that the boy possessed. But if he was lying, Severus would personally see to it that the boy suffered.
In all honesty, Severus would first be grateful if he did not find what he was dreading.
But doubts quickly vanished as his eyes fell upon a horrendous sight.
Below the Astronomy Tower, on the ground, lit only by the bleak light of the merciful moon, laid Granger, in the pool of her own blood. Her body recumbent in a disturbing angle.
For a moment, Severus froze. Without actually perceiving, he laid his eyes on the body before him. Granger was on her back, her face towards him, mostly covered by her wild hair, her neck horribly twisted, her eyes closed.
He had just seen her mere hours ago in class... It was only yesterday he had talked to her, given her his Pensieve...
Trying to shake himself out of his momental state of catatonia, Severus stepped closer to her and knelt down by her side. In the wand light, he could see blood seeping through the other side of her face that had hit the ground. The side that was visible to him was absolutely white. Her curls were covered in gore that was contributing the most to the pool of red beneath her battered body.
"Hermione?" She whispered. His voice felt strange to his own ears, resigned, disbelieving. Afraid. He could hear the fear loud and clear in the silence.
Severus' eyes travelled upwards. She had jumped. Or had she fallen? She had fallen from the Astronomy Tower? From that height! His better instincts told him that she had jumped with intention, for a witch with Granger's prowess over the Wandless brach of magic, her reflexive magic would have been enough to provide a safe landing.
She had wilfully jumped.
He had seen many injuries and deaths, but to see her like that... It was seldom that Severus found himself at such a loss—a cold loss.
Move, you idiot! He cursed himself, a more logically inclined part jolted him.
Refusing to ponder over it, he reached to touch Granger's neck with two fingers to look for a pulse.
He found none.
Fuck!
"Granger!" Severus shouted, as if calling her back. The girl didn't budge. In spite of witnessing many deaths, this one he could not fathom.
Severus pressed harder on the soft flesh of her neck, his fingers finally felt something fluttering beneath the skin, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He found a pulse, very weak, but there, all the same. He wasn't too late!
"Merlin!" Minerva's horrified shriek echoed in the silent surroundings. "Herm- Is...is she..."
"Inform Poppy!" He ignored her question and bellowed. "Go, inform Poppy, quick!"
He didn't turn to check if the older witch moved or not. Instead, he quickly conjured a stretcher to float in the air. With precise movements, he levitated Granger's unconscious form gingerly onto the stretcher. The white of the stretcher was instantly soiled with alarming amount of red.
"Hold on, Granger," he found himself saying. "Hold on."
Before he could move the stretcher, he spotted a parchment peeking out of the pocket of her robe. Severus instantly recognised it for what it was, and snatched it to keep the folded parchment in his pocket instead, away from prying eyes. Her wand had rolled away to a distance. Severus pocketed that, as well.
Granger needed medical attention immediately or...
Pushing those thoughts away, he moved the stretcher in front of himself with his magic keeping a stern command on it, and headed into the direction of the Hospital Wing, as hastily as he could, without harming Granger more than she already was.
With every step that Severus took, his eyes searched for any sign of life that remained in the girl. But her body laid limp. By the time they reached the Hospital Wing, Severus could only hope and pray that her life was still preserved.
"In the name of Circe, how did it happen?" Poppy's voice echoed as Severus entered the Infirmary with the stretcher.
"Come here, Severus," Minerva beckoned him to the very end of the row of beds. "Lay her down."
"Wait, wait, let me do it," With her trained movements, the Medi-witch levitated Granger's prone form onto a bed, making her lay on her back.
"Oh, Lord!" Minerva gasped at the sheer amount of blood oozing out of her wounds. Right side of Granger's face was gravely bloodied.
Looking at Severus, Poppy said, "I'll need help."
"Of course," he agreed even before she could even ask. "I will fetch the potions. You stabilise her in the mean time."
At that, Poppy eyed him with a silent concern that told Severus that the Medi-witch would not be able to stabilise Granger after all, for she had only ever dealt with cases of broken bones and sprained muscle.
"Minerva," Severus turned to his colleague, "Go, inform Albus and tell him to sent for a Healer from St. Mungo's. Post-haste!"
"Tell Albus we're..." Poppy said quietly, glancing at Granger. "We are...short on time."
"I will inform him," Minerva nodded, and rushed to the fireplace.
Poppy drew the curtains around Granger's bed closed. As the injured body of the girl was concealed from his eyes, Severus unconsciously raised a hand to reopen the barrier, as if leaving Granger for another moment would somehow steal her of her remaining life. He stopped in time, barely remembering his role. But his agitation was clawing his gut. He knew far too well how 'short on time' they were.
Composing himself enough, Severus called for his house-elf, Timmer, and instructed him to fetch a slew of required potions and salves from his Lab, not trusting the older stock at the Infirmary.
When the house-elf appeared with the requested vials in a straw basket, Severus came back to Granger's bed. Poppy had drawn curtains around, so he waited.
Even as he tried to contemplate what the girl had done, his mind was not willing to venture into it just yet. He needed to treat her first. He pushed the other thoughts away, and erected his Shields. He was required to pay his undivided attention to the girl and her treatment at the moment.
"Poppy, may I?" He finally asked from outside the closed curtains.
"Yes, yes," she called.
When Severus stepped behind the curtains, his eyes traveled to the three conjured translucent screens hovering over the bed, that were taking Granger's reading. The girl was dressed in a hospital gown to aid her injuries better. Poppy had healed her neck. A silver and blue glow was skirting her now bruised neck. A white sheet was loosely draped over her from waist down. Severus could make out the lining of her right leg laying at an unnatural angle. A temporary Charm was preventing more bleeding from her head injury for the time being, and was also keeping the gore from staining the bedclothes.
"There is too much blood loss, Severus," Poppy was continuously working with her wand, gesturing in set patterns over the girl's body. But she did not touch the more severe wounds, probably leaving them for the Healer.
"How many doses of Blood Replenishers?" He asked, keeping the basket of vials on top of the bedside cabinet.
"Three for now," the Medi-witch answered. "I need the Healer here as fast as possible." Her voice held a tremble that unnerved Severus.
"Albus is arranging for that." He uncorked the vials and manually fed them to Granger, massaging her throat to make her swallow. Her recently healed skin felt taut under the pads of his fingers.
While Poppy worked on the major injuries, Severus focused on expertly cleaning the blood from her visible wounds with his wand.
The right side of her face was severely wounded and bruised, along with her right arm. He did not have to be a Medi-wizard to tell that there were multiple fractures along her lower half and right arm among other ailments. Severus truly hoped that her right eye was undamaged. But even then, he knew how slim the chances were.
But more that her injuries, blood and scars, Severus could prominently see her waning form that was being starved for the loss of appetite, her circled eyes that never found peace in sleep and the age on her bloodied face that she had gained in only a handful of months.
"If she were a Muggle, she would have had no chance of surviving, even this far," Poppy mumbled. Her face was set in determination but her voice gave away the hopelessness.
'Even this far' nagged at Severus.
"Her skull is fractured," Poppy whispered low. "She might have permanent brain damage."
"And her spinal cord?" Severus refrained from reacting, inquiring further instead.
"I cannot say for certain yet," Her eyes never left the girl and her hands never trembled, even as she delivered the news.
Had it not been for his Shields, Severus would have been fuming at the girl's actions! But he also knew that she was not at fault alone...
But he kept those thoughts at bay. There would be time later to ponder.
"What was she even doing on the Tower at this hour?" Poppy frowned.
Severus did have an answer but one that he could not respond with. So he avoided to answer at all.
He kept glancing at the screens above to confirm that Granger was breathing, for otherwise she looked lifeless. The slow beeps mercifully kept the doubts away.
With every beep that indicated to her sinking pulse, Severus questioned himself—why! Why did he not take an action despite seeing the signs! If something happened to Granger, he would be buried under another burden of guilt.
His eyes lingered on Granger's prone form—this witch with whom Severus had spent the last few months, under the same roof. This witch was his responsibility. Snippets from the summer flashed before his eyes. If only he had taken a step when... If only he had just insisted she talked!
Severus cleared his dried throat and looked up. "She will survive, yes?" He tried hard to muster his casual impassiveness.
"She has a very...thin chance, Severus," Poppy murmured.
Something froze in him and sent a sharp ache in his chest, to a place he thought he had starved into numbness.
What the hell was he doing when she went on the blasted Tower? Grading papers? Overseeing a detention? He was busy in mundane tasks when she was risking her life! If Granger could know when he was in pain and offer a bloody Aspirin, why could he not sense her agony! Why didn't the godforsaken bond signal him in time! She was not present for dinner, why didn't he inquire where she was? Why didn't he demand to know why she was missing a meal? But then, he was consumed feeling self-conscious about his prying in Granger's life!
If only he had left the Great Hall and looked for her! Perhaps he would have even caught her going on the Tower. He could have stopped her, instilled some sense in her! Maybe he would have taken an appointment with a certified Mind-Healer for her to talk to.
Incidentally, his eyes spotted a Phoenix-feather quill laying on the bedside cabinet on top of a blank parchment.
An idea struck him. "I will be back momentarily, Poppy." Severus rushed out, towards the Floo and was soon submerged in green flames.
UUUUUUU
Poppy Pomfrey worked sedulously on her patient, the young witch who was also her unofficial apprentice and one of the best trainees the Medi-witch had had the fortune of taking under her wing. The student who often worked alongside her in the same vicinity of the Infirmary was now laying before her, an inch from death.
Poppy had never treated such a complicated case, as she was only a Medi-witch—without any specialisation. Yet, she worked with her Healing Magic as much as she could, as much as she knew, in the hopes of some miracle and waiting for a Healer from St. Mungo's.
The question what Miss Granger was doing at the Astronomy Tower was nudging at her mind constantly. She was not a wayward student to disrespect rules and curfew. A doubt strongly poked at her—did the girl try to take her life?
The Medi-witch shook her head. No, Miss Granger had no reason to. It must have been an accident. She was, after all, an impressive young woman, why would she want to end her life like that? Oh, did someone push her? Poppy gasped. That seemed more plausible an explanation. But if Miss Granger faded away, this mystery will, too.
And fade away she would if a Healer with extraordinary abilities did not show up at once. And it would affect Poppy more than on a mere professional level.
Footsteps resounded from outside. Poppy watched as the curtains around the bed were unceremoniously drawn back by Severus. Behind her, Minerva and the Headmaster followed.
"Did the Healer arrive?" Poppy asked her employer. But nobody paid heed to her. Instead, they were more interested in Severus. Poppy, too, turned to look closely at the Potions Master.
He was holding a crystal goblet, clasped in both of his hans gingerly.
"What is that, Severus?" Poppy inquired. "A potion?"
"Phoenix Tears," he replied, eyeing Miss Granger.
A relieved smile instantly stretched Poppy's lips. "Thank Circe," she whispered and kissed her fingers before pressing them to her chest in an old gesture to ward off the evil.
"Will this work, Poppy?" Minerva whispered.
"We can only hope," she whispered back.
"Go on, my boy," Albus prodded. "Before it's too late."
Severus shot Albus an annoyed scowl before turning to tend to Miss Granger. Poppy had often sought Severus in stressful situations in her Infirmary, demanding extraordinary potions in insufficient time when a student was ill or requesting him, before taking Miss Granger as a trainee, to assist her when a student had brutally mangled their leg after falling from a broom. Thus, she could not help but note how his entire demeanour seemed changed today. The indifference and acidic sarcasm which came to him more naturally that breathing was replaced by concern that reflected in his thoughtfulness and actions.
Or perhaps Poppy bad already decided to see the Potions Master in that light. Maybe Severus was considerate towards the students... Whatsoever it was, if it revived Miss Granger, it was worth the effort.
She watched with anticipation as Severus brought the goblet to her lips. Poppy stepped up and gently parted the girl's lips. Murmuring prayers under her breath, she watched Severus as he practised concentration while pouring the clear liquid into her mouth, so not even a drop could be wasted.
When the goblet was empty of its drops, Severus put it away. He looked at the Headmaster and the Deputy Headmistress.
"Now, we wait," Albus said quietly.
UUUUUUU
"Hermione?"
A soft voice roused Hermione from her sleep. She could feel her head laying on something familiar and comforting. A gentle hand was carding through her bushy hair, while one of her hands was held between larger, warm ones.
"Love?"
The familiarity of the voice washed over her, taking away the dull ache that was lingering in her heart for a long time. She felt as if a blanket was draped over her on a wintery night; as if she had been offered a glass of cold water walking under the July sun; as if a steady hand had held her while walking on a sharp slope...
Hermione opened her eyes. White clouded her vision. She blinked to clear the haziness, only to realise that she was surrounded by thick, white fog, reminding her of London in winter months when she celebrated Christmas at home.
When Hermione's pupils could focus, in the backdrop of blur, the smiling faces of her Mum and Dad materialised above her.
She blinked again. "Are you...real?"
To that, her Mum chuckled. "You tell me," she said teasingly.
Hermione brought her hesitant hand to her Mum's face. While she expected for her hand to find nothing but thin air and the beautiful mirage of her mother to fade away, she gasped when she found her Mum's cheek touching her fingers.
Hermione bolted up, looking from her Mum's face to her Dad's in utter bafflement. She quickly climbed to her feet. "But...how?"
"Always too curious for her own good," her Dad remarked playfully.
It was then that Hermione took in her surroundings. Everything was white, a glowing, beautiful white with specks of calming baby-blue, just like her room had, her room in her home. And in that, she was face to face with her parents, her beloved parents, once again!
"Mum!" Hermione flung herself to her mother, who held her in a tight embrace.
"Oh, Love," her Mum placed a kiss on her head. Hermione buried her face in her neck, breathing into the scent of sandalwood—the scent that her Mum exuded, the scent that had often brought Hermione peace as a child and calmness as an adult. Hermione relished in the warmth that she had so desperately longed for.
"Mum..." She mumbled incoherently. "I missed you so much..."
Her mother's hand carded through her hair as Hermione hugged her in a fierce grip. Months of tension that had left her cold and plagued her heart was slowly leaving her in her mother's warmth.
Another hand caressing her hair made Hermione look up, to find her Dad smiling at her.
"Dad!" She flung herself to her father next, who caught her by her waist and spun her around. She giggled blithely even as she could feel tears rolling down her cheeks. In that moment, she could not care less of being an adult, for that fleeting moment, all Hermione wanted was to be the child who was relieved to be back home after having been lost in a throng of strangers.
"My Pumpkin!" Her Dad was beaming. He, too, held Hermione in a tight hug.
She drew her comfort, burying her face into his chest. Her Dad never ceased to speak comforting nothings above her and rubbed small circles on her back.
Hermione found herself crying, freely sobbing, letting out all the stress, the bottled up guilt and anger while both her parents held her. Oh, how she had craved for their familiar scents and their loving embraces. She was again one with those who loved her unconditionally.
Her parents did not interrupt Hermione while her shoulders shook and heart wrenching sobs escaped, unhindered. The litany of comforting words reminded her that she was with hers. The gentle touches told her that she safe.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." She founded herself chanting, her voice muffled into her Dad's chest.
Gentle hands pried her away, and a finger slipped under her chin to make her look up. "No, Hermione, it is not your fault," her Dad said firmly, like when he used to tell her that she was not 'weird' but 'special'.
"None of this is, Love," her Mum caressed her cheeks to wipe the tears.
"No, it is," she said between sobs. "Because I am a witch, they...they attacked you. I didn't even care to find Professor Dumbledore's letter... I'm...I'm so irresponsible-"
"Shh," Her Dad hushed her, drawing her close again. "We know how you blame yourself, Sweetheart. But the truth is that you were no more at fault than we were."
"It was just something that was meant to happen, Hermione," her Mum said. "You or anyone else could not have prevented it, no matter what. That's the rule of life."
She looked at them with tearful eyes. "You should be angry at me."
Her Dad chuckled while her Mum just shook her head.
"Angry at you? For what?" Her Dad cupped one side of her face. "We were so blessed to have you, Love."
"If anything," her Mum took her hands into hers, "We are eternally grateful."
As more tears rolled down her cheeks, her Dad clicked his tongue. "Now none of that. Aren't you an adult, huh?" At that, Hermione, too, smiled.
"We have been watching you all along, Love," her Mum said. "You have handled yourself so well."
It struck her then. Watching Professor Snape's memories, her conversation with Professor McGonagall, her confrontation with the Slytherins, and her...jump from the Astronomy Tower.
"Am I...dead?" She asked in disbelief. That could be the only explanation. She was with her parents, so she was most definitely dead.
"No, not quite," her Dad replied. His voice was strained. "You can still go back, Pumpkin."
"No," she immediately declared. "I won't. I will never go back."
"Why, Hermione?" He asked, looking at his daughter with pained eyes. "You have your entire life to look forward to, child. A life that you deserve to have."
"We want to see you live your life, Love," her Mum added. "We know, you feel guilty, you feel lonely. But once you start seeing beyond the guilt, the loneliness, the anger, you will find how beautiful your life can be."
"If only you give yourself a chance, child," her Dad said, "You will have a fulfilling life."
"Fulfilling life? Without you both?" She questioned.
"Life doesn't stop for anyone, Love," her Mum gave her hands a light squeeze. "We have been with you till we could. But we don't want you to stop living because of us."
"And we'll always watch over you, Sweetheart," her Dad gave her an eskimo kiss.
"But... You don't know about..." She hesitated.
"We know of everything that happened, Hermione," her Mum told her. "The bonding ceremony and everything that took place since then."
Hermione looked at her mother with a combination of confusion and disbelief. "You still want me to...go back? Why?"
"Because you are not a quitter," her Dad said simply but firmly. "And we do not want you to miss on life's joys because of the current circumstances."
"But I'm stuck in this, Dad. Forever. And not just me, Professor Snape is, too," she tried to reason with her parents. "If I'm gone, he will be free, too."
"And why do you think with you gone, he will feel free, and not more regretful?" her Mum asked. "And what about your friends? Harry and Ron? Aren't they like your family? What of Crookshanks? People who love you?"
"They..." Hermione did not have much of an answer for that. "They'll move on... They'll be fine."
"Do you really believe that, Hermione?" Her Dad said with raised eyebrows.
Hermione averted her eyes down, not able to face her parents anymore. But again, with a finger under her chin, she was made to look at them. "Do you?"
"I don't know," she mumbled.
She did not want to go back... But her friends and Crookshanks might miss her. Harry would, she knew. Oh, he would be devastated, losing his friend merely months after losing his Godfather. And Ron...she knew he held a soft corner for her, more than a soft corner in truth. And Crookshanks would be left alone, without a companionship.
But Professor Snape would be free. He must be relieved of the burden. Yet, a small voice whispered to her—why then did he save your life in the first place if all he wanted was you dead?
"But how I will do it?" She finally asked. "With the bond... Voldemort... How will I go on like that?"
"You will," her Mum said with a surety that Hermione could not understand but could also not question. "You will not be alone."
"But I am alone," she sighed. "I can't even tell anyone, can't talk to anyone about it... I feel suffocated, cold, numb..."
As more tears spilled down, her Dad wiped them away. "You won't be, for long. I promise you."
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"You will see, if only you give life one more chance," her Mum insisted. "You might find yourself alone now, but you are not. There is someone who will never leave your side, somebody who is looking out for you. You will know what we mean, in time."
"But for that, you have to go back," her Dad said. "We know it will not be easy, but our brave daughter, if once having determined, can make her way through anything she wants."
"I'm not brave," she whispered. "After all that..."
"Yes, you are," he countered. "Sometimes, Love, we have to squint to read between the lines. Sometimes, when we focus on all that is wrong, we somehow stop appreciating all that is right."
"And we know you can carry yourself through whatever comes in your way, with grace," her Mum said confidently.
Suddenly she realised her Mum and Dad looked just as she remembered them from years, happy, healthy. Not pale, not bloodied, not sick, nothing like they did in their last moments. They looked like she had plucked them from a memory of a warm picnic day from years ago.
"What if...what if I can't go on, after all?" She asked in a small voice. "What if I...want to...come back to you again?"
At that, her parents looked at each and something wordless exchanged behind their smiles. Her Dad was the one who replied, "It will not come to that."
"It will be made sure that you do go on," her Mum added. "You will see."
"Now, you need to go back," her Dad said, drawing her in another hug. Hermione draped her arms firmly around her father. He placed a kiss on her head. "We will always love you, Pumpkin."
Her Mum repeated the gesture. "And we want to see you live, Love."
She stepped back to take a long look at her parents and breathe in their scents. "Will I...ever see you again?"
They chuckled. "Of course," her Dad reassured as a matter-of-fact. "But when you are somebody's Great-Great-Great-Grandma."
Hermione snorted, giving them a watery smile.
"And when you do come back, you won't be alone, Love," her Mum said solemnly and her Dad nodded. "We promise you."
Hermione did not get time to contemplate on that as a glimmering curtain appeared before her. It emitted light in pristine hues that she could not name and which she would not remember to imagine later. She could not see past the curtain that served as a barrier, but she knew she had to step through it to whatever life meant beyond. It reminded her strongly of Tennyson's Crossing The Bar.
"Always remember, Hermione, you were the best thing that ever happened to us," her Dad said in a tone that had no gaps to question the veracity of his statement.
"I love you both," she said for the last time, her feet moving on their own accord towards the curtain.
"And we, you," her Mum smiled.
Those were the last words that she could hear before losing herself into the glimmer of the barrier, and seeing nothing but strong light that did not hurt her eyes. The picture that she carried back with herself was of her lovely parents smiling at her, with a beautiful, refreshing light in her eyes, holding each other's hands that told her that they weren't alone. That image replaced the horrifying one she had been holding on to since the attack. Though they had not come back to life, life had returned in Hermione's memories of her family.
Submerged in the pristine light, she knew that she had to go back. And find a way to go on.
UUUUUUU
Severus' eyes never left the translucent screen above Granger's bed. He focused on the lines that notified of her heart rate and pulse, willing them to improve.
If he were a religious man, he would have been offering prayers to every deity he believed in. But as practicality was all he had ever believed in, he prayed for the Phoenix Tears to aid Granger.
Suddenly, there was a change in the rhythm of the beeps. The readings, too, were disrupted. Severus frowned and looked from Granger to Poppy.
"What is happening?" He demanded. He had had often considered himself to be a man short on good fate. Thus, he could only imagine the worst. Severus dreaded to think that the rhythmic beeps would soon give way to a long, insistently, ear-piercing, single beep.
"It's working!" Poppy cried, jolting him. "She is... It's working. Oh, call the Healer, we must see to her injuries now!"
"Thank the Lord," Minerva murmured.
"Good thinking, my boy," Albus beamed at Severus.
Severus could only hear his own heart beating in his ears. He stood unbeknownst and unbothered by the sudden hubbub, the tapping of feet or the casting of more Charms. His eyes only watched the girl, ensuring to himself of the life that had been restored. All of a sudden, he felt as if he had finally found the perfect key to continue with the melody of a song he was trying to play on his piano.
Poppy worked feverishly with numerous spells on Granger and did not respond when Minerva and Albus took a leave. Severus helped her, passing potions and casting simple Charms. He looked at the girl, her eyes still closed, the colour still missing from her blanched face. Yet, he could see her chest rising and falling as an evidence of life.
Giving into his impulses, he surreptitiously squeezed her uninjured hand for a fleeting moment while the Medi-witch was paying attention elsewhere. Her smaller, limp hand in his larger one reassured him that she was, indeed, alive. A heaviness lifted from his chest—Granger was alive.
"Poppy," the Headmaster called from outside the curtains a moment after he had heard the Floo flare. "Healer Waters is here."
Poppy looked at Severus, busy with the Charms. He wordlessly nodded and stepped out. He was met by a middle-aged witch, wearing the customary robe of St. Mungo's.
"Healer Kathy Waters," she extended her hand.
"Potions Master, Severus Snape," he shook her hand formally. "Please, come," Severus led the Healer behind the curtains.
"Poppy," she greeted the Medi-witch with familiarity.
"Oh, Kathy," Poppy looked pleased at seeing a familiar face. "Glad to have your assistance."
The Healer took a look at Granger. "What happened?"
Before Poppy could respond, he said, "Miss Granger unfortunately fell from the Astronomy Tower." He knew all too well how the Wizarding World condemned suicides to the point of harassing the victims themselves.
"Oh, sweet Morgana," the Healer murmured and Poppy looked to Severus with questioning eyes. He only nodded to the Medi-witch. Poppy had no idea of the circumstances beyond Granger having lost her parents in an attack. Thus, she could not be included in now. She would have to believe falsely, unless Albus decided otherwise.
Healer Waters ran her own scans on Granger and assessed the nature of injuries. She clicked her tongue in disapproval as she did so. "A magically-induced coma would be advisable, Poppy."
The Healer worked on Granger's head injuries while Poppy worked tirelessly on her legs. When all the needed potions were fed to the girl, he excused himself for his knowledge of Medi-wizardry was limited and old.
Severus instead made his way to the Headmaster's office where he knew Albus and Minerva would be. They were in for a long and very unpleasant conversation.
A/N: I hope you're all fine. I just wanted to say that the last chapter was quite a ride. I sincerely hope nobody was too disturbed by it.The coming chapters, too, will be related, but better, I promise. It's not my intention to disconcert anyone with my writing. But I think I have already given sufficient warning at the beginning of the story that it will be dark and the theme is romance and ANGST. I'm not meaning to disrespect anyone's emotions, I do know it's a serious topic to fiddle with.
I would also like to say that this chapter marks a new turn for our pair. Their relationship is bound to change after this incident—and I'm quite sure you will love this change! The coming chapters are going to be very exciting.
When I had started writing the story, I didn't know this is where I'll take it, honestly. But it chose its own direction. Though I am against self-harm, I do think that people have a saturation's point. When desperate, some people seek that wrong way out.
Now I know that's now how Phoenix Tears worked in canon. But I think if they have the power to heal, one might as well consume them. Anyway, this story is hardly canon-compliant.
I hope the scene with her parents hits the mark. It made a lot of sense to me. After all, theirs is a magical world and we even have examples of people coming back from the limbo in our 'Muggle' world.
And, oh, boy, did I tell you how I was grinning reading your supportive comments! I was, oh, so happy that the last chapter was so appreciated. You guys are amazing! Please keep sharing what you think, I'm really anxious to know how you're finding the plot so far. Please, please, please be honest and let me know. :)