Sheldon Swifties LIX: "The X-Advisors…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
[Note-delayed for a while on this one due to life and other stories but will try to continue on…RG]
Part LX…
It was bad enough, Ashley Smythe reflected, as Dr. Stein continued his lecture, that the bodacious new bird on the block had had to have maternal yearnings leading her to waste his precious stalking time watching her converse with that flash in the pan from Nowheresville, Texas, Sheldon Cooper…
What no twenty-litre or "ten-gallon" hat? As the Yanks liked to say…Yokels mired in their own pointless ego.
But now, this sudden "guest" of Stein's, this "Kripke"…Where have I heard that name?...He frowned at Barry now seated beside "Penelope"/Amy…Comes…This scientifically illegitimate thing out of California, of all the science and culture-forsaken places…To steal my rightful dibs on the new chick.
Wait…"Kripke"…Of course…That fellow in plasma physics Stein mentioned last year in his seminar class. He said he expected him to win the Maxwell this year.
Well, thank God he's not as young as all that…Though I thought…
Hmmn, perhaps all that golden sunlight ages the skin to leather…
In any case, annoying…But one classically trained, at Cavendish, no less, Brit physicist can surely best two foolhardy barbarians of the Yank persuasion in the Art of Seduction.
Bernie Kim from his seat eyeing Kripke as well…
"We've got to get that program…And I can pay…Or rather the employees of my dad's factories can pay…Any price for it." He hissed.
"So long as you're fronting the cash, old pal, I'm all for it." Harvey Lectensten noted. "Just be patient though and wait till the class ends…We butter up the guest a bit, then make the offer."
"Ok…But don't let him slip out on us."
"Sure…But you do realize even such a magnificent contribution to the Seducer's lexicon is no guarantor of success?"
"We've struck out eighty times in twenty nights a piece…And I'm not getting any younger…Or thinner…Or more muscular…" Kim noted. "I'll take anything that might help at this point. God, if only I were one of the Kims on the other side of the DMZ…I could, if I weren't fed by my relatives to lions or sharks, have a passel of goons here, willing to do anything for me…Or else."
"Last time I checked you had a passel of goons…"
"Eh, just bodyguards my dad hired…And none of them willing to break US law to please me. Too much to live for. And me, unable to threaten their families or anything these days. Oh, for the good old days when even the South was a military dictatorship." Dennis sighed. "Chicks by the score, no problem…So long as they were cleared by my guards for weapons and suicide devices."
"Sure…The good ole days…Like back at Auschwitz."
"Ok, ok…I accept the dawn of human rights in my native land. God bless Abe Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, and JFK. But…"
"With your dough…"
"…Please…Would I want a girl, unless a really aces prostitute or 'escort' that way?"
"You'd threaten them with your goons but buying them is unromantic?" Harvey grinned.
"Exactly."
"You know, Bernie has a point…" Homsley noted, whispering. "In past cultures, it was no shame to buy a woman with money or lands…It was considered routine. It was only extreme violence and not always even that, that…"
"Gentlemen?" Stein called up from the lectern. "Could you please save the discussion, edifying as it seems from what we can hear, for after class?"
"Sorry, Dr. Stein…I'll try to ride herd on these two." Homsley called.
"Do that…" Stein sighed. "All right, now as to the nature of…" he turned back to the chalkboard.
"Are you enjoying yourself, uh 'Penelope'…?" young Sheldon whispered to Amy.
"I am…Dr. Stein is a wonderful lecturer." She nodded.
"Then may I say as proxy for my counterpart…Please stop enjoying yourself." He eyed her.
"Sheldon…" she frowned at him.
Oh, look at that anxious face…I remember that face…The face he wore when he met Charlotte and me…Eighteen and a half months ago, she beamed.
And scared the 'Creator' will get his hooks into me? Even as our ally? Fond smile…
Well, maybe I could enjoy it a little less…
And get the transcript from Dr. Stein later…This is fascinating…And I can see why Gran admired his work. He even came up with applications to Neurobiophysics.
Still got the hots for my gran, eh? She eyed Stein at his board. She told me how you liked her when you were a grad student.
But then, a lot of guys "liked" Gran…Smile.
A true Fowler to her fingertips…
So, why didn't you two kids hook up? Grandpa Leonard's been dead for a few years…Susan's mom's locked away…Ah, right…
The kid. She'd be hurt, the future soulless monster. And for all his "creator" rep, he loves his psycho wife…And her foul offspring.
Say, there are a few antipsychotics I could let him know about…A little thank-you for all his kindness.
Heck if the kid could be put on 'em at the first signs…
Hmmn…It wouldn't get us back to our universe, but it would change this one. One less destroyed by Susan Stein, one could hope. Especially if we could find her a nice guy, later.
Almost like getting Hitler into architecture school in Vienna in 1910. Then hooking him up with a nice Jewish girl…
It is an infinite multiverse, after all…We've at least proven that.
…
"So, you found her…And she doesn't remember herself? Didn't recognize you?" Margaret quizzed Sheldon closely.
"She's lying…" Penny frowned. "And you are lucky to be in one piece, Mister…Or at least chained to her hospital bed."
"She seemed quite sincere…Admittedly I'm not the world's best at interpreting people's emotions…" Sheldon noted.
"Oh, I don't know…You've developed into quite an empathetic and understanding human being, Sheldon." Penny smiled, fondly. "That's why, secretly…I've been mad for you for years." Yearning glance…
Young Amy blinking…
"What?" Sheldon stared.
"Hah!" Penny leered. "See? That woman could play you like a theromometer…"
"Theremin. And it's quite difficult to play."
"Whatever…" shrug. "Right, Gran?" she eyed a grim-looking Margaret.
"Dr. Fowler, dear." Margaret noted. "And I don't think we should dismiss Sheldon's observations so casually, much as we want Susan to be a total villainess. He knows and knew her better than anyone but her father…And Dr. Francis."
"You think she's for real?" Penny frowned.
"I don't know. But there was no reason for her not to recognize Sheldon and take action of some sort…"
"Like lying…" Penny, firmly.
"And being first through the wormhole…Anchor for all of you…" Margaret shrugged. "I just think we shouldn't dismiss what evidence is at hand. Sheldon, you say she's been listed as a 'Jane Doe' for several days now? Why stay here if she's perfectly well?"
"Luring Sheldon in…" Penny noted. "He's a sucker for injured…Ummn…" Glance to Amy.
"Yes, I know. It's how my sis, Charlotte, got her hooks in. Though it wasn't intentional at first." She noted.
"She had no way to know if Sheldon survived the destruction of your universe or that he was anywhere near here…Her target was influencing the course of events for Sheldon's young counterpart and her own." Margaret pondered. "Unless…"
"She knew Amy and he weren't in the lab…And while she might want Amy dead…No offense, young bestie…"
"None taken…" Amy nodded.
"But…" Penny eyed Margaret. "You think she knew Sheldon would make it?"
"Is there any way she could have been sure of it? Sheldon?" Margaret eyed him.
"Kripke and I worked out a way to tap into her matrix controller, but it took all…" he paused. "She might have noted our signals…She could have guessed I might guess what she was up to…"
"Ok, so the bitch is faking!" Penny nodded. "Lets go kill her!"
"Hang on, there, Missie." Margaret held her firmly in the bed. "You're in no shape to face her if she is aware and we're not yet sure if she is. I only say…It seems likely she knew adult Sheldon might survive. She might even…Sheldon?" Pushing back glasses. "At any point in your work that night, did it become…Easier?"
"Well, not really." He mused. "We did scan the whole range of potential signals…The overall signal did increase in power when Leonard began his run, but that was necessary, part of the procedure…Still, she was a good enough physicist…" he paused.
"Yes?" Margaret eyed him. Penny eyed him. Amy eyed her, then him.
Ok…Probably not…Satisfied nod.
Though I may warn my counterpart to be a little more careful round this alabaster beauty. Of course, from the little I've heard…She already was.
Kudos, counterpart Amy. We can love Penny, but no need to drop all guard.
"Hmmn…" Sheldon pondered. "If…IF…She suspected we might guess and try to tap her signal…It's possible while she wouldn't mess with much, for fear of prematurely collapsing the wormhole or alerting Leonard into stopping his experiment too soon...She might possibly have made it easier for us to latch on, by not narrowing the frequency of her pulses as soon as she locked on to Leonard's wormholes."
"Right." Penny nodded sagely. "That must be it."
"You have no idea what I'm talking about." Sheldon frowned at her.
"Nope, but it sounds right." She nodded.
"She wanted me to make it here, in pursuit. And destabilized her own wormhole to allow it…" Sheldon pondered. "It could have killed her and Dr. Francis. And it certainly would have made for a rougher ride than the one we had."
"Ours was no picnic, bucko." Penny frowned.
"Indeed. And your being separated from us…That may well have led to your susceptibility for your heart condition. Murmurs and irregular heartbeat run in your family after all…"
"What?"
"When you were delirious under medication that time I took you to the hospital in our world, I had you sign a release and read your charts. It's what Leonard would have wanted." Firm stare.
Penny, eyes filling… "Yeah…It was." She nodded hastily, reaching a hand out to his. "Thanks."
"But that could mean it affected Susan as well, in a different way." Margaret noted. "Her condition could be genuine."
"I'm more concerned with the idea she knew Sheldon might have travelled here." Young Amy shook head. "Sheldon, you can't risk seeing her again, even if she's not lying."
"Well, the police won't allow it anyway, till they've checked up on me." He sighed.
"Wise of them." Margaret nodded. "And unusual for the Austin Police Department. But the hospital probably pressed them. Liability issues."
"Well, then, perhaps someone else should visit our stricken friend, to back up 'George's' story and jog her memory." Young Amy, archly.
"The hell you will!" Margaret, firmly. "Ditto to the hell thing!" Sheldon, equally firmly.
"Amy?!" Margaret, Penny as young Amy swayed.
"Sorry…My hormones engulfed me at Sheldon's manly stand for me." Amy, breathing a bit. "Please, remember I'm still a teen-ager, counterpart of my beloved." She beamed at his worried face.
Though when I tell her this…After she fights off natural jealousy…We may have two heart attack victims in here.
"It's ok, I'm fine now." Catching breath as the others worried eyed her. "But, no, I agree…" Amy shook head. "If she's not lying, my appearance might be the jog her memory needs and the last thing we need is fully functional Susan. No, I was thinking maybe you, Gran…Her dear grandmother and maybe…Her sister?" eyeing Penny. "Her sister who suffered a mild heart attack at the thought of her poor sister doomed at the hands of her maniac husband and is so overjoyed to learn not only has sis been found but she's at the same hospital?"
I love you, bestie junior…Penny beamed. Now just gotta figure out how to smuggle an axe or bat in with me…Maybe we could find something on a janitor's cart? A nice crowbar…?
"Penny? You'd have to control yourself." Margaret noted. "But it might not be a bad idea. I'd like a chance to judge her condition myself."
"Exactly." Amy nodded. "And if the finest neuropsychologist on Earth says the bitch be crazy…"
"Amy!"
"Sorry, Gran…I'm still a bit hormonally woozy. If you say she's not faking…We can trust in that."
"Or if I do." Penny, firmly. "And if I don't, we act fast, no offense, doctor. Before she and Francis can get back together. He's sure to be sniffing round for her."
"Act fast?" Sheldon eyed her.
"I mean act fast, Sheldon." Penny's voice stern if a bit shaky. "This woman is a worse mass murderer than Adolf Hitler. If I believe she's trying to deceive us…It's not just revenge for Leonard or the others, guys…" voice quavering…
"I'll help you." He noted, calmly. "And I know exactly what we're discussing. I was already set to do it if I could when I checked her out just now."