A/N- Hey you all and how are you? Thanks for all that feedback on last chapter, after three years it is a great relief to know that this story still lives in the hearts of some readers as it lives in mine. Your kind words made it easier for me to pick it up from where it was dropped. Thank you so much!
Now I hope you don't mind me blabbing some few words about "Ai no Kusabi", because I see it as a major source of influence over this fic, so much that I had to make a tribute for it. (If you do mind you can skip the next few paragraphs)
I cannot even remember when or how I came across "Ai no Kusabi", a long (so very) long time ago. I think I saw it even before learning about Shounen ai and Yaoi. All I remember is how I watched it in awe, that sci-fi, dystopian, enigmatic and tragic OVA of breathtaking beauty and ground breaking imagery. And to top it all- it had a homosexual theme that truly blew my mind away.
Many years (and Yaoi fictions) later and I still find that piece fascinating, and although I write in the "Okane Ga Nai" fandom, I think "Silver and Cold" echoes "Ai no Kusabi" by being a sci-fi, dystopian story that also deals with different social classes and hierarchy, and have a bleak vision of the future.
"Silver and cold" is actually an old original story of mine that I have forced upon "Okane Ga Nai" fans… lol… I am sort of sorry. My only hope it that this story is not boring and is worth your precious time. Again, I thank you for reading and reviewing it, it makes me strangely happy.
Ok… next chapter is on-
Silver and cold
''…Can't sit down
And I can't stand up
Cos if I do I know I'm gonna break
I can't stay in, and I can't go out
Cos if I do I know I'm gonna break…"
Breakin - The Music
The snake pit
He must have been sleeping because he found himself waking up to a violent screeching halt as the platform stopped its decent and came to a harsh standstill.
He held on to his safety bar until the pallet stopped shaking and as always gazed up at other people to study their reaction before he could find his own. Surprisingly enough, the men around him seemed to be indifferent and even stoic about the situation, as if they did not mind getting stuck at the middle of a chasm, hanging in by a thread above the oblivion.
The wave leader linked into the platform's communication. "We are having some sort of a technical problem." He informed them. "I'll contact the other leaders and get you informed ASAP, stand by."
And silence again, no one seemed to be troubled by this announcement except maybe Ayase.
"Are we stuck?" he asked Marcus but the man said nothing, just gave him a worn-out scolding gaze. "Are we stuck?" he turned towards Tom. "What happens if we get stuck?"
"Don't worry, they'll fix it." From under his mask, Tom gave him an all knowing smirk.
"It is a jumper… there is always a jumper." One mate of the blue team that sat on the other side of Tom said on the wave's comm.
"Hmmm…" was all that Tom had to say about it, as he relaxed against his kitbag again.
"Seems like some gear fell off the second platform and jammed the tracks." The wave commander informed them. "Kanou and Homare set up a team to fix it; we're looking at an half an hour delay to the max."
"A jumper alright…" The blue team mate repeated, this time pressing on his communicator device at his wrist to make it public for all to hear.
The wave leader glanced back at his chatty team mate and even without having a clear view of his face; it was obvious that he was frowning.
"Please remain seated and don't loosen your buckles, don't mess things up more than they already are, and also- shut up. Wave leader out."
For a few minutes, his warning worked and no one moved, Ayase among them. He tried breathing calmly, but it was getting difficult with every passing minute. He became ever more aware of his surrounding, the strange metallic taste of the recycled air that he was breathing, was that normal?
And cold, it was so cold, although he had his full thermal suit on, was his suit malfunctioning?
And when he shivered, his whole body jolted violently and he realized how weak the gravitation was, he had a feeling that if he even made the slightest wrong move, he'll end up off the platform and fall, and fall, and fall…
"Marcus…" he asked, almost begging."What's going on?"
"Must be Paul." Someone said, on the public communication, because it did not register from his wave. "He's been such a whining bitch yesterday, saying he's not never gonna set foot in that pit hole ever again. Did you jump off Paul? Or are you still with us, little crybaby?"
"Right here, cocksucker." Someone else answered also on the public communication. "Ain't going nowhere before you pay me back my fucking 500 credits, you fucking piece of shit!"
"Oh, hey Paul." Another answered and Ayase could hear laughter coming from many others on the public channel.
But the laughter died soon enough and the tensioned filled silence took its place again.
There were lights below them, illuminating the metallic abyss and disappearing again, giving life to its rainbow colors and then gone. Somewhere below something screeched again, was it a man's screaming? Or were those just Ayase's nerves giving up?
Silence again, and dancing lights, and heavy breathing. Tom? No, Marcus.
"Are you ok?" Ayase asked the old man, shaking him gently, fearing that if he's not careful he might just shove him off the platform.
The man did not answer, only huddled in his seat and glared into the emptiness.
"You know, a jumper would last a few hours in space, with the suit and all…" Someone said on the comm. "Plenty of time to think things over, if you ask me."
"Shit, that's heavy, man…" another breathed out.
"I don't know, Jackson, if the jumper has balls, he'll cut off the oxygen first." Someone else answered.
"Really, stupid fuck? D'ya know anyone fucking brave enough to do that?"
"I would." Some other said, sincerely enough to chill Ayase's bones.
"Yeah, right you would, shithole." Someone laughed.
"Yeah? And my mama has wings." Another agreed and chuckled at that statement.
"I'd fuck your mama." Someone suggested hopefully.
"Stay away from my mama, you crazy motherfucker!" The previous man answered, raging.
"Why you… bunch of idiots!" Another voice said "If you jump, you'd get caught in the gas giant's gravity and incinerate your sorry ass in the bloody atmosphere in less than five minutes."
"Piss off, wiseass! Everyone knows that if you jump, chances are you'd impale yourself on a razor sharp rock before you even get to leave the asteroid." Another contributed his opinion on the subject.
"Fuck even that, the radiation will toast you in seconds, before you freeze your brain out." Said one other. "I've seen it, it's ugly."
"I call bullshit, Dmitri, you saw shit!"
"Oh, but I saw some!"
"I saw your mama naked!"
"CUT THE CHATTER ON THE PUBLIC, CUNTS!" a new deep voice joined in, roaring with rage, elevated above all others. Ayase recognized Kanou in an instant. "We're trying to WORK here! Next one blubbering on the open channel, I'm gonna cut his balls and FEED it to him!"
After that warning all fell back into silence, and there was this long pause enough to make Ayase lose his mind.
He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing or at least will his heart to stop beating so wildly in his chest. He knew that panicking was the last thing he needed right now, but he also knew that there was no way he could stop himself from it. Like the wimp that he was, like the miserable pathetic baby that he became, or had always been but took 950-A to point that out to him.
Pathetic! Helpless little shit! Might as well jump! No one needs you! No one would miss you! Everyone you love is already dead! Father, Aunt, Granny… Everyone else back home already think that you're dead! And they don't give a damn! No one cares! So just die already!
But no! I've done nothing to deserve this! I am no traitor! I am not the enemy of the Union! It's all lies! I was just a normal person with a normal life! A student! Why am I here? I don't belong here with all those rapists and monsters and murderers! Get me out of here! Get me out of here!
He was hyperventilating, and could not stop himself, not even by biting his own lips and tasting his own blood. He felt the bitter tears leaving his eyes, but they had nowhere to go inside the mask. They just evaporated slowly to make a cloud of humidity and humiliation in front of his eyes. Damn it! He is caged in and cannot even see! He cannot do anything right!
But then, pleasure…. Unexpected pleasure between his legs, like jerking off, oh… so good, yes, and it stopped him from crying, and he could finally take a deep breath since what felt like forever.
He bucked into that pleasure, gasping, craving it, wanting more of that warmth; that contact. That strong hand touching him, not his own, whose was it?
Someone was stroking him between his legs; pressing his hand to his clothed groin, rubbing it with steady, knowing motions, driving the fear and the chill away from his body.
Part of him wanted to give into this unexpected pleasure, toss away the shame and self dignity and just get off, just take his mind off where he was and escape this hellhole for just one blissful moment, but some other part in him struggled, trying to clear his mind and restore his senses.
It took him every ounce of self discipline to wake up from his pleasure and remove the hand giving it, forcing his shivering thighs together as tightly as he could.
Tom, he saw through the cloud in his mask, it was Tom, and he was smiling at him.
"What were you doing?" Ayase asked, unable to stop his body from shivering.
"Giving you a hand job, sweet pea. Felt good, didn't it?" Tom leered at him. "Why did you stop me? Don't you wanna come?"
Do I want to come in my pants in front of all to see by a total stranger? Ayase shivered still.
"Thank you, but please move away from me." Ayase blushed under his mask, hoping the ground so swallow him, he never asked Tom for help, not that kind of help anyway.
"Oh, but you moaned so pretty…"
"No, I did not!" Ayase's breath had elevated again, his mind raced; who did he manage to give that wrong impression? "Please…just, stop." He mumbled, feeling his face burn with shame.
"Are you sure?"
"I am, and please… could we stop talking about it?"
"Why? There's nothing wrong with admitting…"
"Tom, let's just forget about it, please!" Ayase breathed, feeling tears well in his eyes again.
"Say 'please' one more time." Tom smiled his cruel smile, and leaned again towards Ayase. "You beg so sweetly…" he sent his hands again, one caressed the blonde's soft hair, the other drew circles on his clothed inner thigh, causing his member to stir up again against his will.
Ayase waited a few seconds, before realizing Tom was not going to stop on his own accord, so he tried to shove him, and with the weak gravity, he actually had managed to do so. Both Tom and Ayase were surprised at the result, and Tom had to hurry up and grab the safety bar before he'd find himself off the pallet.
"Don't ever touch me again, or I'll tell Kanou!" Ayase threatened through clenched teeth, if they would not have been clenched, they would have been clattering.
"But I only wanted to do you a favor, forgot that you were Kanou's good little slut, sorry." Tom snarled, he sounded a bit pissed off, humiliated by the fact that Ayase nearly made a jumper out of him.
"Stay away from me." Ayase breathed out, glancing towards Marcus, but the man, bundled into his seat, was far too lost in his own haunted mind, not paying any attention to his surroundings.
"Yeah, right, whatever." Tom sneered and moved a bit away.
The distance put between them helped Ayase breath again, and he hoped that Tom would be reasonable now and leave him be.
"You know, this is no way to treat the next leader of the black team." Tom added in a low voice after a while, and a smug smile spread slowly on his face. "I'll remember that."
Ayase gasped at him, blinking. "What did you say?"
"You've heard me." Tom stretched in his seat. "Tell that to Kanou, sweet little slut, I dare ya." He yawned and closed his eyes, sliding easily to sleep.
Ayase could not hope to go back to sleep after that statement, he was overwhelmed, and thoughts raced through his mind like runaway lunatics.
"Did you hear that, Marcus?" he tried after a while, gently shaking the old man's shoulder.
The man mumbled out something that made little sense, and there was this silence again.
After what seemed like forever, the wave leader opened his channel.
"Problem is solved; stand by to resume descent in one minute. Please check your filters for saturation and replace them if necessary. We'll arrive at the pit in forty five minutes. Wave leader out."
And a minute later, they were on their way again.
oOOo
After what happened with Tom, Ayase could not relax; his mind wrapped itself around what that he thought he had heard. Did he hear Tom correctly? He was not using his comm. and the man's voice was kind of muffled by his mask, but not muffled enough.
What did he mean he was going to be the next black leader? What was going on here? He must tell everything to Kanou as soon as he can, but would Kanou believe him? The last thing he needs is a false alarm to make him look even more pathetic and helpless than he actually was.
It was his word verses Tom's, would he even be taken seriously? Was this just a cruel joke? Maybe he should wait a while longer, to see if anything else happens, to ensure this was not just his imagination going haywire.
"The pit, five minutes, get ready." The wave leader interrupted his tormented thoughts.
Someone shoved an elbow at his ribs, Tom, obviously unfazed by Ayase's threat to tell Kanou if he'd ever touch him again.
"Here, look down at this ugly motherfucker…" Tom chuckled and leaned to the side.
Ayase frowned but did the same and viewed the landscape before him. There was a bulge, in the middle of the chasm, looked natural enough, although artificially smoothed, so a dome looking structure could be built up on it. The dome was not too large; maybe the size of a dormitory or two, back upstairs, and it looked like a huge chunk of rusty metal, sitting at the edge of a high, sheer drop.
The cables and the tracks ended there, and below it was an uncharted abyss, diving down further into the heart of the asteroid. The pit looked like a crude shelter, in shambles, rusty and patched, as if threatening to collapses at any given moment.
"Yup, home sweet home." Tom hummed in conclusion, and Ayase frowned.
The platform slowed its decent and landed on top of the previous ones at the end of the tracks, just in front of the small dome.
"Walk off the platform line by line, no pushing and no shoving! Don't forget anything you'd miss for the next two months onboard. Wave leader over and out."
The men onboard did not seemed bothered by the fact that the platform was stacked on top of the others creating a gap of almost three meters between them and the ground. The gravity was very weak here, even weaker than before, and when the first line jumped down along with their gear, they only slowly hovered and softly landed down, rising up a cloud of glittering dust as they touched ground.
Ayase found it was difficult to get up on his feet again; they felt like a stone, numb and cold, stinging with poor circulation, but he had to move, it was their line's turn to clear off.
"Marcus!" He shook the older man's shoulder.
The old man woke up as if from a nightmare, jolted and alert. "Are we there already?" he asked, getting up and stretching.
"Yes, I think so." Ayase said, viewing all the commotion around them, everyone around them was getting up, picking up their gear and jumping down, in all that mess he had lost sight of Tom and was grateful for it.
"Come on, let's get going." Marcus huffed and put on his gear.
Marcus was kind enough to give him his hand as they jumped, Ayase held his breath and closed his eyes, at his descent, it was the scariest thing he had done in a long time, and only after his feet touched ground again was he able to open his eyes and breathe again.
"Are you ok?" Marcus asked.
"Yes, I think so, thanks." Ayase answered, surveying their surroundings, there were tanks, carts, cables and pipes everywhere, and so little ground to maneuver between them, the dome was about one hounded meters away, their new home for the next two months, and it didn't look hospitable at all.
"Let's go." Marcus said and started walking.
Ayase hurried behind him, and he should have paid more attention to his body because every step he took nearly sent him flying in all directions, and suddenly he found himself bumping painfully into a wall of a huge tank. At the last second he managed to avert his face so he would not crush his mask on the solid surface, but the collision was painful just as well and ho so humiliating.
"Are you ok?" someone asked, he knew the voice, their Blue wave leader.
His head hurt, and he lost sight of Marcus as well, great, just great.
"Gravity is lower here than upstairs, because we are closer to the center of mass. You have to be more careful. Understood?"
Ayase blushed and nodded.
"Take gentle little steps." The former wave leader guided him, taking him by the hand, as if he was a child, and leading him towards the entrance the dome. "Nothing sudden or forceful, and if you lose control just grab for an anchor, ok? Steady…you're doing fine."
Ayase nodded at the man who led him through the narrow obstacle course to the front of a dome's gate.
"This is the airlock, wait for the door to close behind you, then the light will turn green and the inner door would open, so you could step inside and take off the mask."
"Thank you." He mumbled, blushing again, but the man has already left him, returning to the platform to help with the unloading.
Ayase did as he was told and entered the airlock with some few others that he did not know, along with the equipment that they were carrying. The airlock was small and dark, and everyone waited for the old screeching air pumps to work to turn the light green.
After what seemed like forever the lights changed and Ayase could not wait a second longer to remove his mask, his relief was short lived, the air inside was foul, cold and humid.
"Are you getting out or staying in?" Someone angrily asked him.
He noticed that the gear was all moved inside and the rest of the men were still masked and were watching him impatiently, expecting him to evacuate the chamber so they could decompress and get out again.
"Sorry." He whispered.
"Just move!" The man said, rudely shoving him inside, making him crash against the inner wall of the dome, stopping himself only with his right shoulder, knowing he'd pay for it later.
Inside was not much better, it was dark, cold, and people moved around him, and even bumped into him, looking pissed off, hurrying to complete one task after another, in an organized mayhem that he had no hope of understanding.
He roamed through the sea of men aimlessly until he found Zack at one of the corners. As much as he was relieved to see a friendly face, the man was busy taking measurements of electric currents that ran through the many cables attached to the wall.
"Hey." He greeted him.
"Hey." He answered without lifting up his eyes from his tablet or offering a smile.
"Can I help with something?" he asked after being ignored for a few minutes.
"Nope." Zack answered.
"Have you seen Kanou anywhere?"
"Nope." Zack answered again.
And so Ayase nodded and moved on.
Next, he found the Blue team leaders as they set up their computers and hooked them into the dome's systems, but where Zack at least acknowledge him, the twins treated him as if he was thin air, so he walked on.
Everywhere he went, he felt like a nuisance, as people ignored him, dismissed him or even growled at him. But at his aimless stroll he at least managed to familiarize himself a little with the pit. It had a few sections, the airlock, the main room that was filled with equipment, a smaller secondary room that was filled with piled up mattress and was probably a sleeping dorm, and there was also a second floor above the first, but it was narrow and had steel mesh flooring, and probably was build just to provide access to various applications at the roof. It was nothing much, but it was his home for the next two months, he'll have to make do just like everyone else.
As no one paid any attention to him, he found himself a corner to place his bag and sit down, and then he remembered the only task that was given to him, so he took out the tablet from his bag and turned it on.
It took him a few minutes to learn to operate it, but he found out he could remotely control the cameras that were placed in the Black and the Blue dormitories, to move them around and jump from one to another.
There was no one there, their beds and equipment were left untouched and there was no one from the Red, Orange or Yellow team snooping around. He checked everything twice and turned the tablet off, and as he placed it back in his bag, he heard a loud whistling sound and at the same time the main lights were turned on, instead of the emergency orange-colored soft lights, and they were casting a cruel bright white light all over the compound, exposing its ugliness and crudeness without mercy. The main lights exposed the pit for what it truly was; a huge chunk of iron cast, graceless, and smothering cage.
"Ok, the public address system is online." Someone said, one of the Kuba brothers. "Drop everything you do and gather in the main hall for a briefing, now."
Ayase looked around and saw that everyone obeyed that order, and stopped whatever they were into to huddle in the main space, Blue and Black mingling together, taking seats on their bags and awaiting for their briefing.
When he finally got the courage to join them he could only find place at the edge of the group. He found a seat next to two Blue team mates that he did not know, one was a huge dark skinned man, who was bald and full of scars, but he had a smiling face, so Ayase hoped he was not a total monster. The other one was a boy his age or a bit older, with dark blond hair, blue eyes, and delicate features, he was beautiful and probably a candy as well.
"Hello." He said to the other boy. "May I seat here?"
The other blonde glared at him, surprised by the fact that he was even approached; he gave Ayase a small nod. "Suit yourself." He replied with an apathetic, yet a soft voice.
"Nice to meet you, my name is Ayase." He ignored the boy's cold demeanor for the slightest hope to make a new friend. "What is yours?"
"Hey, sweet pea." Someone else spoke instead.
Tom again, settling himself next to Ayase, and he almost held his breath with a rush of panic, was the man stalking him? What a creep! He did not return the greeting and only lowered his head, trying his best to ignore the man.
In front of the group, on top of a small stage, someone took his position, holding a microphone in his hand, no mistaking the man's impressive build and self assured posture, and the halo of command that surrounded him.
He gazed upon his audience and everyone glared back at him, falling into a silent anticipation for him to make sense of the chaos that threatened to suffocate them all.
"Everyone hears me?" he asked with his deep, dominating voice. "Good, now shut the fuck up."
Kanou demanded attention and everyone obeyed, all small talks were halted, all voices silenced; all eyes fixed upon him, magnetized to his features.
He gave out a satisfied node and drew a deep breath before speaking.
"Welcome to downstairs." He began. "To those of you who do not know me, I am Kanou Somuku, the Black team's leader and the man in charge of this operation. This is my eleventh's trip down and the third at my command. I expect each one of you to follow my every order to the letter, or die trying. If you don't, I'll handle you personally, and then you'd wish you were dead."
A small shudder ran through the audience, as Kanou stated his threat with cold calm.
"Have you ever been to a lead type of system? A heavily industrialized system?" he asked all of a sudden, breaking into a new topic, and as no one replied, he continued. "Well, I have, and they are ugly as fuck. They have huge machines over there, robots as big as moons that are able to chew asteroids, even ones as big as 950A, and spit them out. They process their metals and minerals in a matter of days, not years, not months, not ever weeks, days."
They did not know what his point was, but they all listened, fascinated, Ayase even tried to imagine such a big giant machine that could break down 950A into shreds within days, it would probably be an intimidating sight to see, but he could not picture it in his mind.
"Some say that because there's cold here, it has to be harvested manually." Kanou continued and then snarled "That's bullshit." He posed and enjoyed the unease that his statement had provoked. "If only you could see the army of drones they have there for this kind of a job, they settle on the asteroids first, like a hive, strip it bare from any voluble minerals before that monster moon-robot breaks it down to bits and smelt it. Why am I telling you this?"
He posed again, smiling bitterly and waiting for anyone brave enough to engage him, which did not happen, so he continued.
"I'm telling you this so you'd know that there is just one purpose to our small mining operation here, and it is not extracting precious metals or cold or any other bullshit. The only aim of this facility is to kill us, mind, body and soul."
There was a small murmur in the crowd, of both acknowledgment and defiant.
"We were all placed here because the Union saw us fit to die in the worst way possible, forgotten and forsaken." Kanou concluded, not without a hint of sorrow.
He let his statement settle in the silence before he picked up his microphone again.
"Do we deserve it? Well… most of us do. Look at us, a pathetic collection of all sorts of scum- murderers, rapists, smugglers, anarchists… yeah, whatever… our lives worth shit, and we know it, but let me ask you this- Do you want to live?"
He paused again as if waiting for an answer, but there was no one to give him such, so he continued. "Do you want to die? Because here we have two months to come up with the minimum amount of product, a gram shorter, and the only greeting we'll get back upstairs will be the automatic machine guns that would open fire and kill us all where we stand. So I ask you again- do you want to live?"
People in the room lowered their gaze and ground their teeth with unease, but said nothing.
"I want to live. I have my reasons, which I won't share right now, but I sure do wish to go on breathing. But I cannot do this alone, not here, because downstairs is a group effort, we'll pull it off together or die together, no way of hustling it... Now, upstairs I don't give a damn if you cheat; rape or kill each other, but down here, if you're not pulling your weight, you have a problem with me. If you're lagging behind, if you're slacking, if you act up or get smart you may get us all killed, and I have zero tolerance for that."
Kanou stopped again and ran his gaze through the audience, his dark eyes meeting each and every one of the men, giving each a stern glare, boring into their soul.
"As I said, this is my third trip down here as the commander, and I have developed a system that will get us all back upstairs with minimum casualties, and it works, so you're gonna get your orders, and you're going to deliver and be good, discipline and efficient. This operation is going to work like a well oiled, asteroid smelting machine, so you could all get back upstairs again, to do whatever the fuck you want up there. But until then, I own your fucking asses."
Kanou waited for someone to challenge him. Ayase glanced at Tom, thinking that maybe he'll have something smart to say, but the man just smiled his creepy smile and said nothing, just kept his challenging glare fixed upon Kanou as he smirked.
"Good, now that we are on the same page, we can get started. The Blue team leaders- Misao and Homare will pass between you and assign you to your shifts and duties, and I'll be debriefing each group personally later on today. The working schedule would be posted at the main hall by the end of this shift. Good luck to us all. Dismissed."
As people started to rise up again and move onto their tasks, Ayase lingered a bit, wondering. He noticed what just had happened here, nothing short of a miracle, Kanou had managed to transform chaos into order, hopelessness into a sense of determination, panic into calm, what an extraordinary set of skills needed to do so? So rare, natural, and impossible to fake.
But something in Kanou's eyes… Ayase noted, maybe was the only one to notice, his eyes seemed weary, worried? He had managed to conceal it well enough, it did not show on his body, but he could not keep it off his eyes, not from Ayase, at least, and it had the boy worried.
A hand landed on his shoulder, Marcus.
"Where have you been?" the old man asked. "Come on, we've got to set up the infirmary."
"Yes, sir." Ayase got up and tried to clear up his mind so he could be useful for once.
A/N- Alright. Next chapters are going to be a little tricky to write, so many things to move forwards and no idea how, but I hope I won't delay much. Reviews are welcomed with eternal gratitude, and as always, take care!