A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! I appreciate it a lot. :)
Note: This chapter talks a bit about using crutches/gait training, etc. I just want to clarify that I'm not a medical professional. My descriptions might be incorrect, but I've researched some on the internet.
I have replied to Adreob's review in this chapter itself, I have found the way to fix that loophole. :D
Enjoy!
Chapter 43: The Secret Uncovered
Hermione, a while after leaving the classroom on the second floor, found herself lingering near the staircase leading to the dungeons. She had a very blurred memory of reaching to this point. Her Occlumency Shields threatened to slip, if they were still up.
Pain was clouding her senses just as well, to the point that she could barely feel the appendage that was her hand beyond the burning which had spread to her elbow.
All her instincts of a Healer were telling her that she had little time before losing her consciousness due to Vasovagal Syncope, though for good as a reprieve. But for her, the loss of consciousness would only lead to her death for she would remain lost in the castle until someone realised and came to look for her.
Why did she reciprocate to the kiss?! Why! That, too, even when the kiss didn't mean anything to her. Had she not reciprocated, the bond would never have reacted quite so violently. It was all about her own participation in the activity.
With that string of thought gradually fading behind the blur that was clouding her vision, she descended the stairs to the dungeons. She was not cognisant enough to ponder over the possibility that if Malfoy saw her in such a state, he would not leave the opportunity to inflict more harm. Or in fact, if anyone were to find her like that—if someone already hadn't, for she hardly remembered—she would be faced with questions she had no answers to.
She could only call it a small mercy that she encountered no one on her way to Severus' office. Her fingers faltered to work on the armrest of her Chair which caused her Charmed-Chair to move forward. It was as if she couldn't bring herself to use anymore of herself.
With her tearful eyes, she spotted the door to the office, but her heart sank to see the lock on the door. She wanted to succumb to the lingering blackness that was struggling with all its might to overpower the witch. Her breaths came in hitched, the only indication that she was still in pain. She didn't think herself capable of coherent speech anymore.
With whatever little willpower she possessed, Hermione decided to send a signal to Severus. She clenched her jaw when the pad of her fingers touched the invisible band, sending another wave of pain down to her bones.
Severus, please!
UUUUUUU
In his quest to find Granger, Severus' spell led him towards the dungeons. Severus followed his wand in desperation. The band on his finger continued to radiate heat and he feared to greet an even more horrifying a sight than what he did on that fateful night in September, below the Astronomy Tower.
But his immediate fears were slightly abated when he received a signal from Granger. Wherever she was, she was safe enough to call him.
That was where Severus found Granger—outside his office. His quick eyes registered her extreme discomfort at one glance. Yet, he could not refrain himself from feeling relieved to find her relatively safer than his imagination.
"SEVERUS!" She cried on spotting him.
He strode towards her in urgency, dimly aware of her use of his given name. "Granger? What hap-"
"My...my band!"
Severus' steps almost faltered to hear the quivering groan in her agonised shriek. Her left hand rested on her lap in a twisted angle, almost unnatural.
Damn it! He raced his mind to the events of the day—where did they falter? Which term did they forget to satisfy today?
"Granger," Severus reached her and bent near to her. "Did you forget to finish the cleaning tasks?"
"No. I-" She broke with a gasp. Her brows furrowed and lips gaped in a silent cry. For all his knowledge in Mid-wizardry, Potions and Dark Arts, Severus found himself and his learnings futile in that moment.
With a flick, the door to his office flung open behind her. "Come with me," he quickly pushed her Chair inside his office to avoid being spotted to add onto their grievances. Severus closed the door for privacy and turned to Granger. "Granger, what happened?"
She was gritting her teeth to cope with the pain and the possible burning of the band. So much so that she couldn't bring herself to answer, it seemed. "Granger," he tried again. "What is the matter?"
"My band... DO SOMETHING, PLEASE!" She cried, doubling over.
Caught at a loss, he bent towards her. "Can you tell me what caused this?"
Her eyes were squeezed shut, oozing tears, and jaw clenched. Perhaps he could give her a strong dose of Pain Reliever until she could explain-
"Ron," she breathed out.
Weasley! What did the moronic boy do now!
"Ron. Kiss. WE KISSED! IT'S KILLING ME!" She shrieked before trailing off with a whimper.
It took Severus a moment to completely realise the implications and consequences of the statement.
FUCK!
The words of the Infidelity Clause of the Dark Wedding flashed before his eyes. Vague wording with a clear meaning. He did not even want to imagine the extent of the punishment the infernal bond would subject Granger to!
Why did he never warn her of the Clause, elucidated the consequences! He had much more knowledge of the nature of such dark binding spells, he should have been responsible enough!
"It's...it'll kill me..." She whimpered again, between sobs.
Severus ran through everything that he knew in regards to the Dark Wedding in his head. But he had never come across anything to aid them in the correct scenario. There was not much text available, anyway.
What could he do!
As the heat on his band was increasing, he could see clear signs on Granger of the increasing pain. What he dreaded to accept was the possibility that the bond could very effectively kill her as a means of punishment.
Think, you idiot!
Then it struck. "Granger," he said urgently, "I allow you to...maintain any kind of intimacy with anyone of your choice."
"Aargh! It's not WORKING!" She screamed. "Please..."
"For fuck's sake!" Severus cursed. "Granger, I allow you to have intimate relations with Ronald Weasley!"
He waited but she doubled over again, shaking her head. Her body shook and trembled painfully.
Nothing he said aided her. What else could he say. Think!
"F-Forgive me…" She whispered with another sob.
"What?" He leaned closer. "Forgive you for what?"
"Forgive me…" She repeated. "Ron… K-" She trailed off with another whimper, now slightly rocking back and forth.
Forgive her?
Forgive her!
"Granger," Severus started with surety, "I forgive you for…your actions with Mr. Weasley."
It was then that the growing heat in his band subsidised. Visibly, Granger's tensed body relaxed and Severus sighed in relief. It worked. She had assessed right—the bond wanted him to forgive her. As per the orthodox beliefs, what Granger did was a sin, for the dearth of a better explanation.
He felt almost physically sick with loathe at what the bond imposed upon them. Forgive her? He was supposed to forgive her after robbing her of her freedom and rights?
Severus looked at Granger. Her affected left hand still laid in her lap, more relaxed now, while the other was covering her face, in which she still sobbed. Of pain or of humiliation, he feared to know.
Granger was a living proof of the Dark Lord's vileness. An innocent witch bereft of every right to live her life on her own terms, stripped of making a choice for herself.
On more than one occasion, Severus had noted Granger's longing for Weasley. But Severus never dwelled over that for he knew that road was never meant to have a destination, not since that fateful night in the summer. It would be left as incomplete as his story with Lily. Although Granger was very different from him, that side of her life resembled his too much. He had avoided to imagine her plight but now he could not ignore the obvious anymore.
Brief memories of Lily flashed before him. The love of his life distancing away from him until one day, she was too far gone. Even after years, the memory of her cold, lifeless body wrapped to his chest were painfully fresh. And now when he looked at Granger, he could see the similar loss.
Severus could not be with Lily because of the path he chose for himself but it was nothing but unfortunate to find somebody like Granger in the same situation. She deserved a fulfilling life, unlike him.
But what could he ever do for her now?
Severus slowly stepped towards her, Granger's sobs were silent but for her shaking shoulders. He knelt before her Chair, almost unconsciously, but with a desperation to offer something, anything.
Silently, he summoned a jar of Murtlap Essence from his Lab. He scooped up some on his fingers, and gently took Granger's targeted hand into his other. The skin on her third finger was unnaturally warm to touch, as if she had only just removed her hand from under boiling water.
Granger," he said quietly. "Hermione." Her name rolled through his tongue like an anomaly. But she responded. She lowered her other hand from her face. Her eyes remained downcast, away from him, away from the situation
With great care, he began applying the soothing brew on her hand. She flinched at the cold liquid, but quickly relaxed as the brew started showing its effects almost immediately.
"I…I'm sorry…" She whispered.
"Please don't apologise," Severus stiffened, looking up at her.
"I knew about the…Clause," she let out a shuddering breath. "Yet I… Ron… It just happened-"
"Granger," Severus held up his palm. "You never have to justify your actions to me. You owe me no explanation. Believe it or not, I do understand your plight with Mr. Weasley."
She shook her head. "There's nothing-"
"No, I do understand," Severus insisted. If he could offer any semblance of comfort to her, he wanted to provide that. "I have been in a similar situation as you are today."
Her head shot up, eyes narrowing in confusion. "You mean…?"
"Do you remember asking me why I left the Dark Lord's side?" He asked quietly, inspecting her hand for any more damage and also to avoid eye contact. At her slow nod, he spoke, "I left the Dark Lord because he killed the woman I…loved."
UUUUUUU
There was not much Hermione could have done to stop herself from gaping at the man before him. It shocked her to even consider him involved in a romance, so was his reserved nature.
But now that he opened up about his past, she wondered if he had built walls around himself after the love of his life was snatched away from him. It pained Hermione's heart. His loss ached her. And if she could decipher his eyes, she saw the impression of that profound loss still fresh.
"Why?" Her voice was no more than a hoarse whisper. "Why did Riddle…?"
"Why?" He let out a bitter, humourless laughter and got to his feet, sending the jar of Murtlap Essence away. "Does a man blinded by power need a reason?" His tone, his words, they were dipped in venom stored for years, probably decades. "Because she was a Muggle-born, because she stood against him, because she blocked his path to his victory."
Hermione listened, flabbergasted to watch Severus—a man to whom coldness was the most inherent characteristic—speak in such incensed tone. His fury was palpable, thick in the air so as to nearly suffocate one.
Hermione swallowed. "Was she your…wife?"
The corners of his lips curled downward, maybe recalling a rancorous memory. "No," he turned his back to her, as if he despised to face her while he relived through a part of his life that he had probably never shared with another being. "I had lost my friend way before the Dark Lord claimed her life on that fateful night of Halloween."
A tear rolled down Hermione's cheek. He had said it with profound guilt and regret. He had lost her before Voldemort killed her, lost her to someone else? To something else?
Was this woman the friend Mrs. Frost mentioned Severus had, as a child? A redhead girl? Severus had said he didn't celebrate Halloween for the day had a bad memory tagged to it. Now she knew the woman he loved was killed on Halloween. Could that friend and this woman be the same?
The woman restricted Voldemort in some way, even protested against him. She must have been from the Order, Hermione assessed.
She was killed on the 31st of October…
Wait!
A red-head girl, a Muggle-born, an Order member who died on the 31st of October! LILY POTTER!
Harry's mother was a Muggle-born, who resided in Severus' locality? They were most definitely in the same year at Hogwarts.
Hermione gasped.
It could be! Every detail was making sense, it was connected in a chain. Severus' friend was Lily Potter.
He had lost her way before she was killed… He had loved Lily Potter… And had lost her to James Potter!
For the first time in her life, Hermione regretted having the reasoning skills she had. Now, she did not know how to process that chunk of information in her head. She felt like a trespasser to be acquainted to a secret he never made her a part of, a secret he probably never revealed to anyone, willingly. Yet, here she was, having gotten a peak into the most concealed facet of his life.
He loved Lily and lost her to Voldemort. Lost her forever, fifteen years ago. And still, he missed her… It broke Hermione's heart, she could not imagine the misery his life would have been in the last years. She only had a taste of that loss with Ron, even that had faded now. But to live a life separated from the love of one's life, in an environment where he was taken for a Death Eater, used as a spy, treated as a slave; where nobody was his confidant, where nobody as much as asked him if he was recovered after facing what would have been the greatest tragedy of his life, where people took him to be heartless and malicious, and doubted his loyalty…
Perhaps the reason why he had caged himself behind walls was because nobody wanted to see him outside that cage. Nobody cared to see Severus behind the garb. Just a man who dealt with loss everyday, who tolerated being suspected everyday.
Not for the first time, she cursed herself for behaving so wretchedly with him in the initial months… She had been just one of those who denied to see him beyond what he preferred to show the world. Once again, she wondered how less she knew him and how much more he had hidden.
She looked at Severus, his back towards her. How she wanted to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, but she knew he would take it for pity. But what she had for him was not pity, never pity. Perhaps admiration that he still worked for their side, for the war with unutterable vigour while she had felt like giving up on life more times in the last few months than she cared to count. If anything, her eyes lit up with respect for him.
UUUUUUU
Severus stood facing the shelves of jars on the wall. Fire flickered in the hearth, casting shadows in his office. In those dancing shadows, his mind reeled down the lane he seldom, if ever, visited.
The park at Spinner's End and that red head girl claimed his mind. Her laughter, her voice, her eyes… Remembering Lily sent a hollowness in his chest. He told himself that he should have never told Granger about Lily, even as nebulously as he had. But he also knew that had Granger not known Potter so personally, he might as well have revealed to her Lily's identity. That was how he felt near Granger, that he could lay his most protected secrets open before her with the confidence that she would never judge.
Perhaps, his comfort with her was harmful, questionable. He, himself could not understand why he could let his guards down when near to that particular witch. So much so that he had almost revealed to her something that nobody except the Dark Lord and Albus had a vague idea about.
But he told himself that it was imperative to talk to Granger after the recent episode with the bond.
Severus could feel her gaze lingering on him, he wondered what might be running through her mind… He turned around, but avoided her eyes. He also felt exposed to have stepped out of his reserved shell.
"Thank you for telling me that."
Severus was expecting a word of condolence that he would have accepted begrudgingly. But Granger, if disconcerted, did not show it in her conduct. There was a watery smile on her face that was marked with tear tracks.
He nodded uncomfortably and looked away. Severus could compose himself better in a room full of suspicious Order members, but this witch. "Though I am not in a position to dictate your actions, Granger, I would advise you to avoid infuriating the bond in future. These are situations beyond our control and taking a risk will be foolishness."
A small, stray part of him was not very comfortable with the notion of the said moment of intimacy between the Weasley boy and Granger. But that part, Severus castigated sternly. Her shared friendship with the Weasley boy was not unknown to him. Moreover, sans the bond, Granger was entitled to do with her life whatever she pleased in. And he would be the last person to stand between her and her choices.
Even if that choice was Ronald Weasley. Severus inwardly sniffed.
Not that the bloody bond would ever allow her that space. But if they ever succeeded in freeing themselves of its clutches, Severus would not like to see those two together. He told himself that it was so only because It would be a shame to see a witch of Granger's potential with a dimwit like Weasley. But deep down, a voice questioned him if that was the only reason for his apparent disapproval.
Yet. Despite what he personally felt, he would never be the hurdle in Granger's life, if he could help it.
"I should have been more discreet…" She said quietly. "Actually." She said, sounding a bit perked up, "I'm glad it happened."
Severus' head shot up. He frowned, "I beg your pardon?"
Granger let on a small smile, "Reaction of the bond aside, I am glad it happened because now I know I was merely confused about Ron. Like when one knows one is deprived of something, they start longing for it so much they think they want it. I always longed for Ron, but in truth, it was my reflex reaction to the bond. I know it now and I'm glad that I do."
Her confession somehow ceased his internal debate. And if he was feeling very smug about her realisation in regards to Weasley, Severus blamed it on his casual dislike for the ill-mannered boy.
He weighed Granger's words—when one knows one is deprived of something, they start longing for it so much they think they want it. Was that why he chose to join the Dark Lord. Because he longed for what he did not have—power.
He looked at her. At least she would not suffer in the same flames as he did. "Though I doubt we would ever succeed in severing the bond, every attempt at making it more bearable is appreciated."
He immediately regretted saying the words, they had never talked about the ultimate eventuality in regards to the bond. Maybe it was unwise to quell her hopes of severing it.
But she nodded plainly, looking somewhere into the distance.
UUUUUUU
Hermione sighed inwardly. She felt weary, but relieved at the same time. It had been such a tragic day, and so long…
She watched Severus cross the room to one of his shelves. He looked just as tired. Hermione hoped he wouldn't be summoned today, but the chances were thin after the attack on Hogsmeade. In all the chaos with the attack and the bond, she had almost forgotten to consider how overworked Severus had been in the past few weeks.
He walked back to her, holding a vial. Muscle Relaxant, she recognised. He held the vial out to her, "Just in case you feel the need to," he gestured towards her hand. "And it would also soothe your knee."
"Thank you," she took the vial. It was a small gesture. Why then did she feel quite so overwhelmed that he noticed her discomfort with her knee? "I should go back to the Infirmary, maybe Madam Pomfrey needs me with Ginny…"
"Yes. It had been a testing day," he said. "You must be exhausted."
"Not more than you had been, recently," she said.
He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "It is my duty."
Hermione bit her lip and considered if it would be wise to voice what she wanted to. "Uh, I wanted to ask something… Can we establish another signal?" She flecked her fingers.
"Another signal?" He frowned in puzzlement. "What for?"
"Well… In the last few weeks whenever you were summoned, I knew… You know I get to know…" She hesitated. Severus, on the other hand, looked strained with discomfort to discuss the matter. "I have been in Riddle's presence enough to know he's spontaneous and insane-"
"What is your point, Granger?" He asked impatiently.
"I need to know when you come back to the castle," she finally said. His frown deepened, he looked at her disapprovingly. But before he could express his obvious aversion to her request, Hermione continued. "Just as an assurance that you're back safely, that's it. It gets me worried to think-"
"Your peers must be looking for you," he cut her off. "I would advise you to join them for dinner."
Hermione's face fell. Not too flagrantly, but he had denied her. How was she supposed to tell him how worried sick she got every time Voldemort summoned him at odd hours. She could not keep sending Karly to check if he was back safely.
She sighed to herself. She wouldn't achieve much by pestering him. He was too stubborn for that. Hermione nodded her goodbye and moved her Chair to the door. He, all the while, stood facing away from her, wearing the frown.
Just before leaving through the door, Hermione said, "You were worried for me today, I can tell. Just imagine feeling the same way every second day."
Without giving him time to respond, Hermione left his office, leaving Severus speechless.
UUUUUUU
Hermione left Severus' office and headed towards the Hospital Wing. She waved her wand over herself, sending cool waves of a Refreshing Charm on herself. She had no doubt she looked miserable with the events of the day.
She should have been with Harry at the crucial hour. Harry and the Weasley family were distraught over Ginny's condition. Hermione hoped to see Ginny awake when she reached the Hospital Wing. Ginny should most likely regain consciousness by the next day.
As Hermione was about to reach the Hospital Wing, a voice stopped her. Ron!
She had completely forgotten about him, suddenly!
"Hermione," he called again, striding towards her.
Hermione turned to face him, guilt written on her features. "R-Ron…"
"Where were you!" He was panting. "I looked for you everywhere."
"Oh…" She mumbled. "I was…"
"I didn't find any purple vial in your room," he said. "Where have you kept it?"
"Purple- Oh!" She wanted to smack herself. "I… The vial was… I took the potion, don't worry… It was…in my satchel… I'm so sorry, Ron…" He had been looking for her her through the castle when he was supposed to be with his sister.
"Are you okay?" Ron eyed her warily.
"I… Yes," she said, swallowing.
Ron's hand went to scratch the nape of his neck. "Are you…angry about…"
"Angry?" She mumbled. Of course he would think she was angry. "No," she said quickly, not wanting to make him feel guilty. "No, I'm not angry."
He visibly relaxed. "Thank Merlin. I thought I did something you didn't like."
Hermione felt troubled. What was she to say to him now! She needed to say something that didn't give him hope for a future relationship with her. "Ron, look, I'm not angry. But…I don't think I'm…ready for this." She paused to evaluate his expressions. He looked baffled. "I mean, I don't think we should…go forward with this-"
"Sure," he shrugged. "We can take it slow."
"No, it's…" She shook her head. "Not slow. I mean…we shouldn't…"
"Hermione, I understand," he said with a light smile. "It's all new to you. I've been with Lavender…maybe that's why it's easier for me."
"About Lavender-"
"Sorry, wrong thing to say," he gave a sheepish smile. "Fine. No Lavender. It's just you and me."
"Ron, listen to me…" Hermione trailed off when he took her hands into his bigger ones.
"I'm glad to have you," he whispered, though a little cautious with his words. "Especially right now."
Right now. When his sister was hospitalised and his family was targeted. How was she supposed to dissuade him right now!
Oh, God, what a mess I am in!
UUUUUUU
Why does she care!
Severus slammed his book on the table. He was stuck on the same line since the last hour. It was Granger who occupied his mind besides the awaited summon from the Dark Lord.
Why did she care? Why! Who was he to her, anyway?! Why did she have to tell him she felt as worried as he did when she was attacked!
A debate that often claimed his mind came to him again. What would Granger ever gain from associating with him? He was neither blind nor a fool. Severus could see how quickly she was finding herself at ease near him.
It was not healthy for her. Severus himself held an extremely parlous position in the war. Associating with Severus would either gain her a besmirched reputation or profound loss. That was, if, Severus outlived the war and did not cause her demise on his account.
But he liked to believe there would eventually be a solution where his death would not mean hers, too. In such an event, he did not want her to deal with another loss, although it was hard for him to believe anyone would be upset over his death. Perhaps Minerva would be, to some extent. And Granger, if she continued to find him so approachable and amenable. Severus was more mindful of her depression than he let on. Granger had only recently lost her family. Her closest friend was the main target in the war. She did not need more loss to deal with.
It would be better if they maintained distance. But the train of thought was interrupted by the burning in his forearm.
UUUUUUU
"Don't make any noise," Hermione whispered into thin air. A cloak swept its way to the only occupied bed in the Infirmary.
Harry sat by Ginny's bed, his presence only evident by the disappearance of the stool he sat on, covered under his Invisibility Cloak. Hermione shook her head, sometimes it was probably better to break some rules.
Ginny was still unconscious, but Madam Pomfrey was certain she would wake up by morning. The Weasleys were not permitted to stay for the night, but Harry knew his way. He hadn't really talked since Ginny was found injured, hadn't eaten more than a few bites at dinner, only when she forced him to. Ron, too, was just as upset. But at least he got some reassurance from his family. Hermione genuinely wanted to let Mrs. Weasley stay with Ginny, under the Cloak, but the lady visibly needed rest.
She decided to leave the couple in privacy and returned to her room. Entering, she realised it wouldn't be her room for long. Coming Monday, she would be back in the Gryffindor Tower. Madam Pomfrey would let her use the crutches from the next day. It was a relief, actually. She had to travel to London, to her house. It would have been hard to travel with a Chair. She commended those who managed with a Muggle wheelchair on a daily basis, these people were indeed fighters.
The business in her house would take her a whole day, she wondered if the bond would condone a day away from Severus. Maybe if she didn't stay the night away from Hogwarts, though she really wanted to spend the Christmas Eve in her house, one last time. She wouldn't call it 'home' because without her Mum and Dad, it was just a house, but her house all the same.
She reopened the letter that her family solicitor, Mr. Andrews had sent. Hermione re-read the words.
Dear Hermione,
My apologies for delaying in replying to your letter. But I will admit, you took me by shock. The news of your parents' sudden demise in Australia is still indigestible to me. As their old friend, I am aggrieved to learn so. In these hard times, I want you to know to count on me, as both your legal adviser and a family friend.
I will see you at your residence on the 24th, along with all the required paperwork. You do not have to concern yourself with any long proceedings, I will look into as much as I can, personally.
Take care of yourself, child.
Warm regards,
Robert Andrews
She gingerly folded the letter neatly. For Mr. Andrews, the news was fresh, but she had lived with the news for the last six months, yet the wound sometimes still pained as fresh.
She would have to confirm about the terms with Severus. That brought back her worry—Severus had been summoned an hour ago. She had again asked Karly to tell her when he returned. Though the kind house-elf never declined to entertain Hermione's requests, Hermione loathed to burden Karly more than she already worked for her.
Sighing, she pulled out her diary from her drawer. She had so much to jot down that night, of the attack, of Ginny, of Ron, of Severus…and of Lily. Her newfound knowledge about Lily Potter had baffled her. The more she thought about Severus and Lily, the more she disentangled the mystery that was Severus, his relationship with Harry's father and the other Marauders, and especially with Harry. Severus had always disliked Harry, and though her friend sometimes provided the Potions Master with legitimate reasons for the same, Severus' disapproval of Harry went deeper than petty behavioural issues.
Why? Hermione wrote. Who was Lily to you? What happened between you two? Did she ever love you back, I can tell, you passionately did. If she did love you, why did she marry James Potter? Is that why you hate Harry's father and in turn, Harry himself? And what about the Marauders? All I ever knew was of your schoolboy rivalry with the group, is there more to it? Why did you join Voldemort if you loved a Muggle-born, Severus? I wish, someday, you would answer these questions willingly.
UUUUUUU
"That was unexpected," Albus contemplated.
Early morning sun shone through the window panes of Albus' office. The sun rays poured inside and fell on Severus. The Potions Master welcomed the warmth in the month of December and after another sleep-deprived night.
"What else happened?" Albus asked, sipping his tea.
Severus would have accepted a cup if he didn't plan on sleeping through the breakfast on that Sunday morning. "If you wish for me to narrate how Dolohov and Bellatrix were punished, I am afraid I cannot be as detailed-oriented as I would like to be, as I find myself quite weary."
"And rightfully so," Albus' eyes glittered.
For once, even the twinkle didn't irk him. Bellatrix and Dolohov had led the attack on Hogsmeade, accompanied by several junior Death Eaters. It was an attempt to avenge the previous retaliation by the Order in the safe-house. The only question facet was—the attack was not ordered by the Dark Lord, thus the reason Severus was left unbeknownst.
On being inquired, Severus filled the Dark Lord with exaggerated information about the safety measures Hogwarts would take for security. As a result, Bellatrix and Dolohov were thoroughly published to have caused the penetration into the castle even more difficult.
Severus had enjoyed himself in the gathering.
"We need to take Mr. Malfoy more seriously," Albus mumbled thoughtfully. "He took part in the attack, he is a prominent threat as a Death Eater to the students."
"He is not, not yet," Severus contradicted. "He still has scope."
"I doubt that," his employer said.
"He is blinded by power," Severus said. "It is only temporary. Or so shall we believe for now. Draco is dancing on the Dark Lord's tunes because Lucius is still in Azkaban and Narcissa is held captive in her own house."
"It is a subjective matter," Albus was not convinced.
"Be that as it may, but Draco is still wet mud, mould him if you can," Severus said smoothly.
"What do you suggest?" Albus leaned forward.
"Get Lucius out," Severus smirked. "That, in turn, will be a protection for Narcissa and a bate for Draco. One can never have enough spies in a war."
"What makes you think Mr. Malfoy will serve us loyally?" Albus asked.
"He will not," Severus said simply.
"Severus-"
"He will not, until he vows to be," Severus finished. "You are wise, Albus. Do practice your so-renowned wisdom."
With that said, he got to his feet and left the Headmaster's office with a pensive Albus Dumbledore behind.
UUUUUUU
"Merlin, Mum, I'm fine," Ginny whined.
Unaffected by her daughter's disapproval, Mrs. Weasley continued fussing over her.
"Mum, we think Gin-Gin's just hungry again," Fred quipped.
"Remember how she used to whine when she got hungry," George added.
"Yes!" Mrs. Weasley was immediately on her feet. "You must eat something, Dear."
All the Weasleys broke into laughter, earning a disapproving look from the lady.
Fred and George had returned to their spirits. Hermione had not realised it before how drastically the mood in the room varied with their mood.
Everybody looked relieved now that Ginny was awake. She was laying on the bed swathed in blankets, much to her chagrin and Mrs. Weasley's relief. Mr. Weasley took the stool Harry had occupied for most of the last night. He could not stop smiling to his daughter. Bill and Ron had a similar look on their faces. Percy sat alone in a corner, away from the others but there all the same. Ginny had reacted coldly with her prodigal brother on waking up. She shared her brothers' dislike for Percy.
Sitting beside Ron, Harry stifled another yawn. Though drowsy, he seemed better. His eyes hardly left Ginny's.
"Do not lean on them, Miss Granger," Madam Pomfrey's voice shook her out of her reverie. Suddenly, her crutches threatened to slip on the floor, making her lose her balance.
"Careful!" The Medi-witch was quick enough to hold Hermione before she injured herself. The Weasleys and Harry, too, got attentive, almost on their feet.
"I'm fine," Hermione said with some embarrassment. She had been exercising for weeks now, it was merely her agitation that was causing the slips.
"I'll help," Ron announced and came to her side.
Still caught in the dilemma about Ron, Hermione could not directly decline.
"Another walk till that end, Miss Granger, before I assist you with stairs," Madam Pomfrey ordered. "Remember, put the weight on your hands when you move forward, not through your armpits."
"No worries, it's way easier than flying, Hermione," Ginny joked, her voice still hoarse. But Hermione could not help smiling in relief that Ginny was recovering.
"You're doing great, Dear," Mrs. Weasley said encouragingly.
Hermione felt conscious to realise Percy's gaze on her almost constantly. He must be wondering what had happened to her legs in the first place, but he never asked her directly.
She continued to practice walking with crutches, with Ron following her closely, his arms half-raised to catch her if need be.
UUUUUUU
The remnants of the metallic stench of the freshly brewed Wolfsbane still pervaded Severus' office along with his quarters. He spelled another Cleansing Charm in the air to get rid of the irksome smell. Other than having to brew the complex potion for Lupin, Severus also despised brewing it because of the stench that claimed his Lab and office each time he brewed a batch.
A knock resounded on his door. Severus cast a Tempus—it must be Granger. Severus cast another Cleansing spell before calling, "Enter."
The door was flung open rather unceremoniously on its hinges before a beaming Granger entered, accompanied by clicks and taps of her crutches.
"Oops, sorry," she looked sheepishly at the door, not really apologetic, smiling all the while.
"That's alright-"
"I can finally walk!" Granger exclaimed blithely. "I have never felt happier doing something as common as walking." She crossed the room on crutches to the chair opposite to his. "No doubt the Charmed-Chair was a blessing, but being back on my feet, it's just- Ouch!"
"Granger!" Severus jumped to his feet, almost on his way to catch her before she, herself regained her balance.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," she hastily said, a flush crawling up her face. "I just need to get used to these…"
Severus shook his head, he couldn't deny being amused by her disposition today. Her excitement reminded him of the day they had taken a surreptitious trip to Hogsmeade.
Severus came around his desk and pulled a chair out for her. "Careful, Granger." He watched as she briefly struggled to sit while slowly letting the crutches go. The smile, however, remained pasted on her face, almost comically. Severus pretended to rub beneath his nose to conceal a creeping smile of his own.
It had taken Granger three months to recover enough to use her legs again after the debacle at the Astronomy Tower. Severus could not help the warm flutter in his chest to see her so close to a full recovery.
He retook his seat. "I am assuming Madam Pomfrey has approved of your walking around the castle."
"Yes," she said enthusiastically. "She has told me not to overexert myself and not to stand for too long at a time. But other than these precautions, I am fit enough to walk."
"That is good news," he nodded. "I would suggest you to maintain your composure while you walk though."
"I… Yes," Granger's cheeks coloured. "I just got too excited, I think."
"I see," Severus snorted.
"Well, it's a big moment for me," she caressed the metal of the crutches. "There was a time I was afraid I would never walk."
"There was also a time when we had the same concern for you," Severus told her.
Granger sighed, her smile turned sober. "I have committed so many mistakes, haven't I?"
"I will not lie to you, Granger," Severus said, "Yes, you have. But what matters in the present is what you have learnt in the past months."
She looked down, at her legs, then murmured something to herself that he couldn't catch. "I have learnt to respect my body. I have learnt to respect my life."
Severus wanted to ask her, directly, if she would ever repeat her actions, but thought against it. He would not like to spoil her mood today.
"Today is the 19th," she suddenly said.
"Yes, and?"
"It's been six months today," she said in a whisper. All of a sudden, her previous excited self vanished behind the solemn-looking witch.
Realisation drew on Severus' face. "Yes," he said slowly. "Six months." Six months since the bonding ceremony, six months since Granger's parents were killed—by him.
"I have decided something," she said.
Severus refrained himself from recalling that night in June. He raised a brow in question.
"It's time that I take up my responsibilities," she stated.
"Responsibilities?"
"There is a lot that I need to sort from my parents' belongings," she told him. "There is a lot of legalities that need to be looked into. Our house, their clinic, the other properties and bank accounts… There is a lot that needs my attention. I have decided to sort everything out in this holiday."
"That is a very wise decision," Severus agreed. "The Headmaster will deal with the Muggle authorities-"
"I want to do it myself," she announced. "I have already written to the family solicitor to prepare all the papers. We are meeting on the 24th. In my house."
"You are travelling to London?" He frowned.
"Yes," she replied. "This is the least I can do for my parents. I couldn't even give them a proper funeral… I want to do this on my own."
"But, Granger, if you travel to London-"
"I know," she sighed. "I won't stay for the night, I will return to Hogwarts before the bond could react violently."
"Whom are you going with?" He asked.
"No one," she simply answered. "Ron and Harry are going to the Headquarters for Christmas. I didn't want them to miss Christmas on my account."
The thought of letting Granger travel alone, so soon after the attack on Hogsmeade didn't bode well with him at all. Bellatrix and Dolohov had attacked the village of their own wish, they could very well take worse actions on their own. Moreover, Bellatrix doubted Granger to have helped Potter vanish away from the sight of attack. Though she could not prove her theory with any evidence, he did not put it past the lunatic witch to try and abduct Granger if she found out she was alone in the Muggle world.
Severus told himself that he had logical reasons to disapprove of Granger's trip. And somewhere, he also knew he did not want to relive through that period of tension when Granger had gone missing after the village was attacked.
He was reluctant to let her go without some safety. He had no say in what she chose to do. Granger could very well disregard him, in which case, he would simply have to follow her to London like he had followed her to the bakery in Spinner's End on the first day of her work, under a Disillusionment Charm.
"May I suggest something?" He cleared his throat.
"Sure."
"I think it would be more safe if someone accompanies you," he said.
"I don't need a chaperone," she stated.
"That was not what I was implying," Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "It is a matter of your security, Granger. I do not see the point of jeopardising that."
"I can look after myself, Sir," she sounded defensive.
"Of that I have no doubt," Severus said honestly. "It is merely a precautionary measure, just like Mr. Potter is advised against travelling alone."
Granger seemed to be weighing his words. She pressed her lips together before nodding. "I understand. But I don't think anyone can accompany me on such a short notice…"
"I can," Severus blabbered.
"You?"
"I mean," he regained his composure, "I am willing to consider, if nobody else can."
"I would hate to spoil your Christmas plans, Sir," she shook her head.
"Christmas plans," he snorted mockingly. "If by that term you are gesturing towards a painfully blithe social gathering of my colleagues, hosted by our honourable Headmaster who finds it rejuvenating to set absurd themes to the 'party', then I would rather thank you to let me tag along with yourself."
She chuckled. "I'm sure you thoroughly enjoy yourself every year."
"I eagerly wait for the Eve the entire year," he said sarcastically, making her chuckle again.
"What will you tell the Headmaster?" She asked. "I don't think he will be happy to let you come with me in public."
"We will travel mostly through the Muggle world," he told her.
"And what if you're summoned?" She asked, biting her lower lip.
"The Dark Lord is under the impression that you are staying at the Headquarters to keep an eye on Potter. Naturally, he had asked me to stay there, too. He will not call me frequently while he believes me to be near the Order members."
"That's a relief," she murmured. "Alright, you can come with me if that doesn't disrupt your other plans-"
"Believe me, I would rather spend the evening with the Dark Lord than the Headmaster."
"I actually thought you spent your Christmas at Spinner's End," she said. "Is it on my account that you're not going home?"
"If it were upto me, Granger, I would never set foot in that house," Severus rubbed his temples.
"Why? It seems to be a perfectly good place to live," Granger frowned. "Your neighbours are decent people, the locality is clean. I actually really liked the town."
Yes, a good locality, but the house reminded him of his early days, of hearing his boozehound of a Father's slurred abuses thrown at his Mother, of seeing the bruised face of his Mother every morning, of finding her weeping quietly in her room, of watching her slowly giving up on her magic and soon, on life. Spinner's End was a splinter in his foot, it had irked him since his very childhood, and it would continue to till he had the wretched house in his possession.
"Sir?"
Severus realised she had been watching him and retracted from his abject memories. "The house is inappropriate for my profession, not to mention the Muggle locality."
"Yes, you could do with a better Potions Lab," she agreed. "Maybe after the war, you can move to the Wizarding World, into a house with a proper space for a Lab. Especially if you want to go for a career in Research-"
"When have you planned to leave for London?" Severus cut her off purposely. She often dwelled into what she expected life to be in a 'post-war era'. But Severus liked to be more practical in his approach. There was an extremely thin chance of him outliving the war. Even if he did, he had a high chance of being convicted, because naturally, Albus would be long dead to stand by his side in the Wizengamot.
Granger's eyes narrowed at his deliberate interruption. But she answered, "I have planned to leave on the morning of 24th. Mr. Andrews—my solicitor—will meet me in my house that afternoon."
"The morning of 24th it is, then," Severus agreed. "I will meet you by the gates after breakfast."
"I was going to Portkey to London from here," she told him. "Will that be fine with you?"
"Yes."
"Alright then, let's see if you enjoy your Christmas with me more than you do with the Headmaster," she smiled.
UUUUUUU
"Karly has put Miss' potions in the wooden box, Miss," Karly held up a box with open lid. Inside, tiny vials of potions were lined.
"Thank you," Hermione smiled, folding her uniform to keep it in the trunk. Her room in the Hospital Wing was almost clean, except the few clothes she still had to pack. Hermione preferred using her hands than her wand.
She was almost ready to move to the Gryffindor Tower. Now that she did not need Karly's assistance with her daily tasks, Professor McGonagall had decided to let her rejoin her House before the Christmas break began.
When Hermione had first come to stay in the separate room, she had longed to live in the Tower. But over the months, she had found the privacy of her room more comfortable than the Gryffindor Tower and her Dormitory, where privacy was a myth. Hermione was not really looking forward to share her space with her roommates though, she had grown used to reading in silence and using the bath—that was replaced by shower stalls in her Dorm—at her own leisure. But at least, she would have Crookshanks to cuddle with at night. Not to mention getting more time with her friends. And though she was still unsure of how to handle 'the-Ron-situation', she was glad to join her friends.
Hermione safely kept her diary in the bottom of her trunk and hid it with bundles of her clothes. Next came her books in her satchel. Lastly, she arranged her recent purchases from Hogsmeade neatly on top. She had yet to pack the Christmas presents and send them by Owl post before leaving for London.
The Hogwarts Express would take the others home for Christmas on the morning of the 22nd. She knew Ron would try his best convince her to join them in the Headquarters for the festival. She would have to dissuade him in a fashion he did not suspect.
Hermione spotted the potted plant she had bought for the house-elf. "Karly, this is for you." She offered her the Mint Plant. Its lush leaves bunched upon the azure pot like a crown.
"For Karly?" The tiny elf looked at the present in awe.
Hermione smiled. "I cannot imagine the last three months without your constant assistance, Karly. Consider it a token of my gratitude and an early Christmas gift."
"Karly can't take this, Miss," she looked hesitant, though her eyes were fixed on the plant.
"Please?" Hermione insisted, holding the pot closer to her. "It will make me really happy if you accept this."
"Karly will take it if it making Miss happy," she gently took the pot from Hermione. The witch watched the elf holding the pot gingerly in both her hands, studying the leaves.
"Do you like it?"
"Karly is very thankful to Miss," she flashed a toothy grin. "Miss is very good to Karly."
Hermione chuckled, "I should be saying that to you. You have been constantly available for me, on my every beck and call, these past months. From sitting by my bed when I was unconscious to helping me get back on my feet… I can never thank you enough."
If house-elves could blush, Karly would have been coloured crimson. "Miss is very kind. Karly will always come when Miss calling."
Hermione smiled. "Thank you."
"And Karly will always telling Miss when Potions Master, Professor Snape is returning to Hogwarts after meeting You-Know-Who," she added.
"Yes, well, I'm still trying to coax the Professor into letting me know himself when he comes back," Hermione smiled. "Let's see when he relents."
"Potions Master, Professor Snape don't like to telling Miss anything, Karly knows," the elf said, still assessing the Mint Plant.
Hermione frowned in confusion. "What else didn't he tell me?"
Karly looked up at Hermione. "Potions Master, Professor Snape never telling Miss he comes to sit with Miss whole nights when Miss was sleeping in the Hospital Wing for days."
"He…what?" Hermione whispered. "Severus used to sit by me when I was unconscious?"
"Yes, Miss. Karly knows."
Hermione's heart fluttered in her chest. Severus sat by her? Really? A fond smile graced her lips, no matter how she wanted to stifle it. He sat by her side for entire nights? Why did he?
Is it because he…cares? Was he truly that worried for her? Of course, he was worried about me! But…
"Why?" She whispered to herself, pressing her smiling lips together.
"Because why not?" Karly said simply. "Master cares for Miss."
"Yes, but... Why?" She bit her lip.
The elf looked at her in puzzlement, as if Hermione's disbelief was beyond her understanding.
Did he consider her to be a friend? Or was it just wishful thinking on her part? But surely, if he sat by her, he considered her to be somebody important to him. Why was the idea of being important to him appeal to her so?
What do I consider him to be?
A/N: First a date, now a trip to London? Together? Hmm, it seems Christmas might just work its charms on the budding romance. :P
And I hope the loophole was fixed—it is all about where Hermione participates, be it with any person.
What do you think?