A/N: Thank you for the lovely reviews!
Enjoy!
Chapter 49: To Life
"Her-my-nee!"
"Hermione?"
"Hermione!"
"What!" Hermione bolted up, rudely awoken by having a pillow landed on her face. Crookshanks, too, wasn't happy to be disturbed. But unlike Hermione, he dozed off again.
"Good morning, Sleepyhead," Ginny was snickering from her bed.
"Really, Gin?" Hermione tossed the pillow back to her red-head friend, who caught it mid-air owing to her Seeker reflexes.
"Good throw," she laughed. "When did you come?"
"Yesterday," Hermione covered a wide yawn behind her palm. "How're you?"
"Beautiful," Ginny grinned.
Hermione chuckled. "Other than that?"
"Bored," Ginny rolled her eyes. "Mum won't let me leave my room."
Hermione dragged herself up on her crutches and perched on Ginny's bed. She peered closely at the other girl with the eye of a Healer. "You're healthy enough to come out."
"Exactly!" Ginny sat up. "Tell that to my mother. Anyway, how was the meeting?"
"Terribly boring," Hermione said instantly.
"Really?"
"I think the whole Order is displaced. Nobody talks about taking down Voldemort," she complained.
"That's dumb," the red-head frowned. "They must have some kind of plan."
"Nothing that is discussed openly."
Someone knocked on the door before Bill's head stuck inside the room. "Good morning, ladies."
"Morning," Ginny waved.
Bill came in carrying a tray carrying breakfast. "Here you go," he deposited the tray on Ginny's lap. "Finish everything."
"Tell Mum I'll go insane in her house arrest," she rolled her eyes. "I'm not eating in this room. Let me come down."
"I promise I'll talk to Mum later, if you finish everything."
"Ha-ha, what am I? A toddler?"
Hermione smiled watching Bill trying to placate his little sister. She had always adored the family and their dynamics, the subtle things that they did for each other.
"Mum is calling you for breakfast, Hermione," he said.
Bill took Hermione's place by Ginny when she left the room to get dressed for the day. She preferred wearing her Muggle clothes when not in Hogwarts. The house was cold which made her wrap herself in a thick jumper before going to the kitchen. Grimmauld Place looked livelier in the sun. The large windows let sunlight pour in, lighting the house in a cheery glow.
Harry and Ron had already started on eggs when she entered. She waved to them and came to sit beside Ron. Mr. Weasley was conversing with Harry, the Muggle light switch that he was holding gave her a vivid idea of what their topic was discussion was.
"Come now, Arthur, let the boy eat!" Mrs. Weasley called while making eggs. Every bit of the house gave a touch of homeliness, precious homeliness.
Hermione's plate was soon piled up with toast and eggs. Mrs. Weasley poured her a cup of tea with an order to finish everything for she did not have adequate dinner last night.
"Where are the others?" She asked.
"Fred, Georg're sveepin', Flour's-"
"Ugh, eat with your mouth closed, Ronald," Hermione chided.
"You asked!"
"Not while you have food in your mouth," she shook her head.
"Uh, the wiring...?" Harry turned to Hermione. "How is the wiring done in houses, Hermione?"
"Who cares about wires?" Ron snorted.
"Except wizards, everyone does, Ron," Hermione said. "Let me explain, Mr. Weasley..." The greying man looked absolutely eager to know how the Muggle electricity system ran. Hermione couldn't but smile.
Behind her when the door was pushed open, Hermione didn't pay attention while she explained to Mr. Weasley what a generator is.
"Good morning, Severus," Mrs. Weasley's voice carried along the kitchen. "Please, have a seat. Would you like eggs and toast?"
"Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," he said and dragged a chair for himself.
What Hermione had heard last night came rushing to her. She made it a point not to even acknowledge his presence.
"Hope you slept well, Severus," Mr. Weasley said. Severus might have nodded but Hermione did not care to see.
"Why's he here," Ron whispered. "Git!"
But Hermione could tell why—because according to their 'arrangement', he was obliged to spend thirty minutes in her presence.
Just like he used to do at Spinner's End, Severus hid himself behind the Daily Prophet. On her part, Hermione continued with her explanation to Mr. Weasley, as if Severus were simply invisible to her. She would give him no indication to be troubled by him—even if that behaviour was childish, it would keep her dignity intact.
When Hermione returned to her room, it was to find it vacant. The shower running in the bathroom indicated where Ginny was. Hermione found the customary photo frame and handkerchief on her bed, which she cleaned keeping herself from brooding over the owner of the items.
The day went by chatting, eating, playing Exploding Snape and Gobstones. Remus and Tonks, too, were staying with them. When the boys went out to play Quidditch, Hermione sat in the parlour with a very annoyed Ginny. But the girls enjoyed hot coco in front of the fire. Even Percy joined them in the evening. Mrs. Weasley overdid herself, baking pies and cakes, and Mr. Weasley, Hermione realised, had a knack for playing Wizarding chess. Ron must have learnt from his father.
In the house full of all the Weasleys and the unofficial couple, Grimmauld Place became a spot to spend the New Year's.
But throughout the day, there was no sign of Severus being in the house. Hermione didn't let her mind go astray for longer and checked herself whenever she drifted to think about him. She was here to enjoy her holidays, she told herself.
For dinner, the kitchen was pervaded with mouthwatering smell of roast beef. They eyed the dish like barbarians hungry from ages. Ginny, though, was given lighter food to eat. But she didn't mind as long as she got to come out of her room. Charlie quipped about how Ron would have tore the house down at such partiality.
p
But even in the middle of all the merry making, when Hermione looked down at her plate, she couldn't help wondering if Severus had eaten anything since breakfast.
"Mrs. Weasley," she said softly to avoid being overheard by the others. "Won't Professor Snape dine with us?"
"No, Dear, I sent Charlie to ask him. He said he has eaten outside," Mrs. Weasley replied.
"But he never went outside today, did he?" Hermione prompted.
"I don't- Fred, Ginny, stop irking your brother with that! Ugh, these two will never grow up..."
Hermione sighed. She hated herself for being concerned. He was a grown man, he could very well look after his own needs and welfare. But that was the problem, wasn't it? He did not like to look after himself, just like how he was delaying in taking potion for the muscle spasm that was assaulting him.
Does he even have a potion here? She gasped.
Harry leaned to her, "What's up with you?"
But Hermione only shook her head. She waited to see if his spasm subsided. When she got aware that it had indeed abated, she sighed. He must be carrying the potion with himself, considering how many and how frequently he experienced these bouts.
UUUUUUU
Though being at Grimmauld Place was a refreshing change and invigorated her, Hermione did miss her quiet time. After two days of spending all her time in somebody's company, she decided to sate herself with a book.
When Ginny had slept, Hermione sneaked to the Library. Grimmauld Place contained a vast range of books, though it was nothing in comparison to Hogwarts. Although, unlike Hogwarts, Hermione found most of the shelves laden with material on dark curses and hexes.
She chose a safer book on Charms, one she had never found at Hogwarts. She drew her night robe tighter around herself to ward off the cold
and occupied the settee and comfortably sat to read. Hermione was fond of her time alone. It was easy to lose herself in the musky smells of old pages. Words attracted Hermione, intelligent, sensible, meaningful words.
So when someone entered the Library at night, she jumped. Looking up, she saw Severus, shadows casting on his grim face. Hermione had scarcely seen him since that evening in the Lab. Maybe he would finally initiate a conversation now that she was alone? But hard eyes gave away nothing, especially not the affinity they had built. She searched his face for any sign of hesitance to talk to her, he was not good with socialising.
Before Hermione could comprehend something to say to him, anything at all, he turned away to one of the shelves, as if he were alone in the room.
Is it really nothing more than an arrangement for you?
Hermione forced herself to focus on her book again. If he could be cold to her, so could she. Or at least pretend to be. His boots clicked on the floor and every time they ceased to click, Hermione wondered if he was eyeing her and considering saying something. But he never spoke. She never budged while he searched for some book until he left her alone again.
Later that night, inthe bedroom, she laid in her bed unable to sleep. That altercation with Severus occupied her mind. Was one conversation enough to draw them apart? Did he always only took her as a responsibility?
Hermione buried her face in her pillow to stifle her sobs. She held Crookshanks close and drew some comfort from her purring familiar. Was it out of mere responsibility that he used to sit by her when she was unconscious in the Hospital Wing? Or when he had held her after returning from the Malfoy Manor? Or when he had gone with her to Hogsmeade? Or when he had shared with her about his life? Or when he gave her courage to live?
She missed him, she really did miss him... She had started to really look forward to the days when they got to spend some time outside the classroom. It gave her peace, he gave her peace.
"Hey...?"
Hermione gasped. She buried her face further into the pillow.
"What's the matter?" Ginny's hand came to rest on her shoulder.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Sorry to wake you."
"Don't be dumb, it's okay," her friend said softly. "What happened?"
Hermione sniffed and tried to regain her composure. "I'm fine, Ginny. Go back to sleep."
Ginny sat there quietly for a bit. "Okay. Scoot."
"What?" Hermione remained facing the wall.
"C'mon, scoot, girl."
When Hermione shifted, Ginny came to lay beside her. Finally turning around, Hermione looked at the other girl in confusion. "You're going to sleep here?"
"Yeah, problem? Consider it a sleepover, Muggles do it all the time," Ginny shrugged.
"Not all the time," Hermione gave a watery smile.
"So tell me, what did my brother do now?" Ginny asked.
"Nothing. It's...nothing to do with Ron," Hermione clarified. "It's nothing."
"Missing home?"
Home? Home meant familiarity and surprisingly, in this house full of friendly faces—whom she adored, mind, she sought familiarity in him. "Something like that... I'm fine."
"I'm not going back to my bed, if that's what you want," Ginny stated, making Hermione snort.
"You can stay." Though she was more or less sandwiched between her friend and her familiar, Hermione felt better than to cry herself to sleep.
"You know, twenty percent witches, in the Victorian era, used to Charm their bodies under Glamours so they were mistaken for wearing corsets while they actually weren't," Ginny said out of the blue.
"Witch Weekly again?"
"The remaining eighty percent were such dum-dums," she concluded.
"You talk about the most random topics at the most random times, Gin," Hermione shook her head.
"I like imparting knowledge," she snorted. "You should have seen what I said to Percy the other day. He was faking how much he's concerned about me and I told him that every year, at least five witches are admitted into St. Mungo's following a mishap while they use their wands to masterbate."
"You really said that? To Percy?" Hermione burst into laughter. "God, you seriously need to stop reading that magazine!"
"I said 'self-pleasuring' instead but yeah. He was gaping like a fish," Ginny joined into the laughter.
"He's not that bad, Ginny. He is just trying to apologise."
"I don't like him. At all," she said casually. "He's a big moron."
"He's your brother."
"Too bad."
Hermione shook her head, still snickering. "You're unbelievable." When she sobered, she asked, "Why are you all so reluctant to forgive Percy? Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"
"Hmm. We're testing him," she shrugged. "And we don't trust him yet. He can abandon us again for all we know, and it was pretty bad the last time."
"Well, fair enough," Hermione said thoughtfully.
"So..." Ginny said with a lazy drawl. "Who's he?"
Hermione blinked. "He?"
"He who has made you cry?"
Hermione was thankful to the dark for she blanched. "Nobody!"
"C'mon, girl, I've known for a quite a while now," Ginny turned to face her.
"Wha- There's nobody, Ginny!"
"You aren't telling me because I'm Ron's sister?"
Hermione searched for the tone of anger, but Ginny sounded casual. "Listen, Ginny, Ron and I...we..."
"I've had my fair share of dating several guys before Harry," she said. "So if you think I'm gonna judge you for dating someone other than my brother, you don't know me yet."
"I'm not- We're not dating!" Hermione sat up. "We're...we're nothing."
"So, who is he?" Ginny asked.
"I'm not telling you."
"Okay, not today. I won't force you," Ginny, too, sat up. "You'll need my advice soon, I can feel it."
"I don't need advice over this. And wait, there's absolutely nothing between us, especially not in the way you think," she clarified.
"Still budding then," the red-head smirked. "Okay, do I know this person?"
"Gin...yes- no… I'm not telling you anything," she stated.
Ginny, now more interested, sat on the bed with her legs crossed. "Is it...one of my brothers?"
"No!"
"Oh, thank Merlin, I can't imagine you and Percy together and he's the only one eligible candidate in the family for you. Even Ron isn't, in all honesty."
"Look, I'm not...toying with Ron, trust me," Hermione bit her lip. "I have tried to tell him there's nothing more than friendship between us, but he wouldn't listen..."
"Well, honestly, the sooner you tell him, the better," Ginny said. "And about this other guy? Why's he making you cry on lonely nights like a damsel in distress?"
"God, Gin, that sounds pathetic," Hermione laughed despite herself. Her friend was looking at her expectantly, waiting for the answer. Hermione sighed, "We...kind of...had an argument."
"Oh, that's why you wanted to stay at Hogwarts? Is he staying back, too?"
"Very clever. I'm not telling you that."
Ginny smirked. "Okay. Tell me what did you two fight about?"
"I...said things about his...very good, old friend..." Hermione gave a very nebulous account.
"His ex?"
"Not exactly ex..."
"His crush?"
"Maybe. But a very old...crush...and way more than a crush..." She was fiddling with the duvet, very careful about not to reveal anything classified. "An old...love, perhaps..."
"Is it because he keeps on talking about this old love and you got sort of jealous?" Ginny asked.
"No, that's the point," Hermione huffed. "He never talks about her or anything that's...stressing him. And trust me, I'm not one iota jealous of this woman. I said all that to him because...in a way, I don't think that this woman was...kind to him. Maybe, it wasn't my place to say this."
"Well, it is your place if you're in love with him," Ginny shrugged.
"I'm not in love with him, no!" Hermione insisted, a blush rising to her face. "It's not like you think..."
"So you're confused if you're into him or not?"
"None of us is into each other," she stated.
"Then what is he to you?"
What is he to me? The band on her finger implied a relation but to Hermione, the ring had no value more than the bond they were forced into. In fact, she reflected, whatever they had was too pristine to even connect it to the wretched bonding ceremony. "I...don't know..." Hermione mumbled. "It doesn't have a name. We might be friends..."
"Of course you're way more than that but okay, whatever you say," Ginny snorted. "Is he older to you?"
Hermione gaped, "Why do you ask?"
"Because you are addressing his crush as 'a woman', he must be older to you, no?"
Amused, Hermione wondered how Ginny would react if she told her about the nineteen years of age gap between them. "I'm not telling you more."
"Oh fuck, is it Malfoy?"
"What? No! I cannot stoop so low!" Hermione winced.
"Thank Merlin, I would have had to be civil with that little ferret," Ginny snorted. "But I can tell, this guy must be damn intelligent, but someone who's a dimwit like you about romance-"
"I'm going to sleep."
"Fine, I'll not try to guess," the red-head chuckled. "On to your problem. Have you met this woman?"
"No. She's...she's no more," Hermione said softly.
"Oh, crap. Remember this, Hermione, you can never compete against a dead woman, because a dead woman can never be perceived wrong for her earlier actions."
"I'm not even trying to compete against her!" Hermione frowned. "In fact, I respect this lady."
"But you haven't met her."
"I know about her," Hermione kept from giving more away. "Look, it's not a competition. Please, I can't even imagine this on those lines."
"Did you try talking to him after the fight?" Ginny inquired.
"I...did try..." Hermione recalled their telepathic exchange after the Order meeting. "But he...he, very rudely, ignored me." She sighed. "The worst part is that...just one fight has drawn us apart, he's so changed now. Just one altercation."
"You said he never talks about this stuff," Ginny said. "Maybe it has affected him so badly because this topic was taboo for him. We all have somethings talking about which make us defensive and uncomfortable. Besides, this woman is dead, he'd obviously not listen to anything against her if you put it bluntly before him. Because he misses her."
Ginny was right... For Severus, discussing about his history with Lily Potter must have been a challenge. Maybe hearing for the first time from Hermione something against the woman he loved was too disconcerting. And Severus tended to avoid people when in an emotional conundrum. In fact, he showed all his emotions via anger. "You're a genius, Ginny!"
"Enlightened?" She smirked.
"So you think...he'll let this behind us?" Hermione was worrying her lip.
"I don't know him, do I?" Ginny stretched. "But if he's truly into you or whatever you call it, he should come around. Who knows, he might be missing you, too."
"I hardly think so," Hermione mumbled.
"Not to discomfort you but, just tell me, do you like him?" Ginny asked conversationally.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "He's a really good man- person." Man would imply he was older than a school-going guy.
"What do you like the most about him?"
Hermione took a moment before speaking. "I...can't explain... There's nothing specific that I care to name. I like...him. Just him, for the person he is. I like his presence. I like just being around him. Being with him."
Ginny was smirking. "And you tell me there's nothing between you? Look at your face, Hermione, you're blushing!"
Hermione sobered. "Shut up! You're getting it all wrong!"
"Am I?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "Once I had asked Mum what she likes about Dad, and she said she likes his aura and feels peaceful around him. That's almost what you said!"
Hermione could now feel the heat rising on her face—what a sudden change from pouring tears only minutes ago. "I don't know what you're talking about but there's nothing...romantic between us. If anything, it could be a friendship."
"It always starts with a friendship," Ginny said teasingly. "Mum says love is all about companionship and understanding."
"Go to sleep, Gin," Hermione laid back, trying to shed the blush from her face.
"Now don't shed your precious, precious tears on some stupid lad."
Hermione laughed. Both the girls settled down in bed comfortably.
"I really want to meet him and see who has stolen my dear friend's heart," Ginny was still smirking.
"It's not even close to what you think," Hermione rolled her eyes. "And listen, please let this remain between us."
"Pinky promise, girl," Ginny grinned.
"And I will soon try to talk to Ron, too," Hermione sighed.
"Pro tip—don't talk to him about this when he's hungry."
"I think it's going to end equally badly, anyway."
Crookshanks cuddled close, this time Hermione wasn't crying. She was assessing what Ginny had said. It was a relief to let someone know about Severus, even so nebulously. She had really needed to let it off her chest.
But now, she had other things to ponder over. Did she truly like Severus? She liked him as a person, yes. But more that...?
Of course not! Don't be absurd, Hermione!
But she did like his presence, his intelligence, his voice, his eyes, even his sarcasm? Hadn't she loved his laughter? Didn't she adore the rare smiles he granted her? Didn't his rudeness affect her? Didn't she want to see him happy, carefree? Wasn't there an undeniable, little flutter in her chest when he showed care for her?
Didn't she care for him?
No. How could she think of it as anything more than friendship! If Severus even got a intimation of what was going on in her mind, he might very well distance himself from her forever!
She wasn't a blind believer of nauseatingly saccharine romances! Neither was she delusional enough to consider their situation even in the same realm as Ginny was suggesting. And hadn't he called it an 'arrangement'? Of all things, he took it as an arrangement! Nothing about that screamed 'romance'. But then, why was she quite so affronted and disheartened when he referred to it as a mere arrangement?
It had been an arrangement for her, too, until the summer. But something had changed in those leading months. She couldn't point a finger on what exactly it was. But she refused to call it an arrangement anymore. But it wasn't anything that Ginny thought, either! It couldn't be. God, she needed to quit ruminating over it like a...a dunderhead, delusional wretch!
Ginny was wrong, probably just inclined to make matches just as her Mum did, or looking for some gossip like Lavender amd Parvati were known for. There couldn't be an iota of truth in whatever the red-head believed. A stubborn, little voice in her head, though, was trying to convince Hermione that her red-head friend couldn't be all that wrong, perhaps.
But the bushy-haired witch shushed the meaningless muttering sternly. If anything, they could be friends. Although presently, even that was an overstatement.
She just needed sleep, she decided, and closed her eyes—but only to find herself looking into a set of black eyes of a certain man who was quite angry with her currently.
UUUUUUU
"You're terrible at this, Ron," Harry grinned as he was claimed the winner for the third time.
"Yeah? Face me in chess," Ron, now irked, said defensively. "Gobstones is for kids, real battles are fought on a chessboard."
"Real battles are fought in the air with brooms and snitch," Ginny said.
"Real battles are fought in an exam hall, eh, Hermione?" Harry quipped.
Hermione rolled her eyes.
They were all seated on the floor in Harry and Ron's room, or sprawled in Ron's case. A pack of cards from Exploding Snaps laid haphazard in a corner beside an empty plate which had once contained muffins. They each took swigs from their hot coco and concentrated on the fourth round of Gobstones.
"Your turn," Ron prompted.
Hermione took her chance but she was just as bad as Ron at the game.
Hermione looked outside the dark, misty window, in about twenty five, a new year was going to begin. She did not want to begin a new year at loggerheads with the man who had been an essential part of this year.
Ginny nudged her out of her thoughts. "Still thinking about him?" She came close and whispered.
"Does it make me clingy?" Hermione whispered back.
"No, it just confirms you're a human," her friend replied.
"You turn, Ginny."
They played for another hour—much to Ron's chagrin—before Ginny started getting visibly tired. "Come, you need to rest," Hermione insisted. "Let's call it a night."
"I'll walk her to her room," Harry quickly got up. Ginny mumbled something to him which had him blushing and smirking at the same time.
"Sure," Hermione held up her hands dramatically.
"Be a good friend and don't come in for another hour or so, Hermione," Ginny quipped, which left both Ron and Harry awkward with their faces coloured for very different reasons. Hermione snickered at their antics and nodded with a dramatic sigh.
When the young couple left—Ginny smirking amd Harry in tow with a bearly suppressed grin, Hermione burst into laughter seeing Ron's red cheeks. "Really, Ron? Get used to it."
"I don't think I'll ever be," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, much like Harry often did. "But at least it gives us some time together."
Hermione hesitated, suddenly regretting having stayed after. Not only did she remember the pain her ring had caused her the last time, she also did not want to find herself in an awkward situation with Ron now when she knew she didn't feel for him romantically at all. "I need to take a book from the Library..." She swallowed. "I haven't even started on my assignments-"
"C'mon, Hermione, we'll just talk, I promise," he rolled his eyes. "I know it made you uncomfortable the last time... Look," he shuffled his feet, "I'm not a... You know...I'm not a predator or something that you have to avoid me. I won't do anything without asking you first, okay?"
"Ron," she sighed. She knew her behaviour would eventually lead him to carry that impression of her reaction after the kiss. "I never meant for you to feel that way. I'm not avoiding you because... You're a good person, I never doubted that."
She should talk to him and not keep him in the misconception that they were a couple. The longer she avoided it, the worse will it affect Ron. And now that she had seen what confusion in such matters can lead a person to, she had no intention to see Ron as hurt as Severus was left.
"Come, sit, Ron," she took a seat on Harry's bed while he sat on his own. She decided some distance was important. "I do want to talk to you..."
"Yeah, me, too. Not getting any time here though," he said with a sheepish smile. "I just thought that after...our kiss, you've been away to... You can tell me, you know. What you prefer instead. I just...went with the flow... Didn't think all that much. 'Course, you can-"
"Ron," Hermione interrupted him before it got too far. It must have been the most uncomfortable conversation she would be having with someone, even more uncomfortable than when her Mum had explained to her about the birds and the bees back when she was thirteen. "I...have been meaning to talk to you for a while..."
"You...you missed me?" He said in a diffident tone.
Hermione drew a slow breath in. This is going to be difficult. "What I need to tell you is...not exactly going to be pleasant..."
"Okay..." He looked worried now.
"Ron, what happened after the Hogsmeade attack. The kiss... No, hear me out, please. That...kiss...was not...meant to happen..." She said carefully.
"What d'you mean?" He frowned.
"Ron, we are... Don't you think we're very...different?" She chose her words thoughtfully.
"So? Opposites attract," he shrugged.
"Not in our case, no," Hermione said gently. "We're not..."
"You don't like me?" He asked bluntly.
"Of course I like you!" Hermione said. "I love you. But as a friend."
"What's that supposed to mean? As a friend?" His eyes had gotten narrow. "What do you mean, as a friend?"
Hermione sighed. "Like...not romantically."
"It's because of the kiss? You didn't like the kiss?" He was getting rather frantic. "Listen, we can try again. I obviously wouldn't know what you like-"
"God, no. That's not what I'm implying," she tried to clarify. "The kiss has no role to play. I mean, I don't feel that way for you."
"You don't-" He trailed off. "So you never loved me? It was all in my head? Is that what you're saying?"
Hermione shook her head. "I can't explain this. Try to understand, we are not even compatible-"
"I am trying to change myself for you, can't you see?" He got to his feet. "I'm a changed person. For you, Hermione."
"I don't want you to change yourself because of me," she said honestly. "Just because we're not compatible, you don't need to change yourself."
"But I want to! I want you!" His voice bounced off the bare walls and assaulted her ears so much so that her stomach fell.
The hurt in his tone stung Hermione. She should have never let it go this far, she should have told him right after that kiss...but Ginny had been unwell and Ron was distraught... "I'm really, really sorry, Ron. Truly, I am. But I genuinely love you as a friend-"
"To hell with it!" He cursed. "This is bullshit! This should have never- You're unbelievably selfish, Hermione, unbelievably selfish."
"Ron, please, calm down," she got to her feet, too. "We are still friends, like we have been all this time."
"In your head, we've been 'just friends', only in your head!" He kicked the foot of the bed. "You meant so much more than that to me!"
"But these things work on mutual understanding," she tried to explain. "You cannot push someone to feel the same for you as you do for them."
"I don't need a bloody lecture from you!" He shrieked. "You know what, get out!"
"I'm not leaving you in this state," she stated. "You need to understand this."
"Just get the hell out of my room!" He shouted. "You don't need to fake it anymore."
"I'm not faking anything." She took a step closer to him. "Calm down and try to think. If this goes on, none of us will be happy in the long run. Even if you change yourself, you'll find this relationship cumbersome. Today, it's all nice and new, but it won't always be this new. What will either of us gain from an ugly separation eventually?"
"Is it because of Lavender?" Ron said.
"What?"
"Because I slept with Lavender? It is because of that, isn't it?" He said, frenzied. "It was nothing. Just a bloody one-nighter-"
"God, Ron, I don't want to know!" Hermione stated. "It's not because of anyone else but us! Are you even listening to me?"
"I can't believe you can abandon me, Hermione. You." He kicked the empty place of muffins, it flung to the door with a loud clatter.
"I will never abandon you, Ron," she said softly, her voice trembling slightly with emotions that were ignited by his accusation. "I will always be by your side."
"Bullshit!" He spat, turning sharply to her. "Get out!" He threw his pointed finger towards the door. "Just get out, Hermione! Leave me alone." Ron stalked to the door and opened it with force.
And again, she was asked to leave—second time in a matter of five days. She felt like she could not live upto anyone's expectations. Looking at her friend, Hermione felt disappointment like a palpable feeling.
"Think about what I said, Ron," she murmured, blinking rapidly.
"I'll do nothing but think about exactly what you said," he spat and slammed the door shut behind her. But his moist, blue eyes didn't go unnoticed by her.
Hermione leaned her head against the closed door, gripping onto her clutches with force to quell her sentiments. But it took mere seconds for the first to escape her lips—in tandem with the ones that might have escaped her friend's on the other side of the door.
UUUUUUU
On the night of the Thirty-First, everyone sat in the parlour till midnight. Carols and songs played on the radio and there was a liberal distribution of cookies and coco and wine and butternear. The huge fire in the hearth lit the parlour in a beautiful orange glow. The shedded trees from outside cast dancing shadows on the walls, inspired by which Fred and George made ghostly noises and pitched in a few horror snippets.
Ginny sat with a blanket on her lap, her legs curled up on the sofa beside Harry, yet maintaining a decent distance in front of the Weasley parents. Bill and Fleur were dancing on soothing slow music. Charlie grabbed Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, too. Mrs. Weasley was mostly shy and blushing while her husband proved to be good dancer. Remus and Tonks sat nearest to the fire, holding hands between themselves. They were caught looking into each other's eyes with a mesmerised smile tugging on their lips.
Ron was paying as less attention to Hermione as possible. He had not spoken a word to her since last night, but nobody in the house had an idea, or so Hermione believed for nobody had said anything to her yet.
She sat watching everything, watching how the lovely family shared a memorable night, with all their children—even their estranged son who now sat with Charlie rather quietly, nursing a mug of hot coco. She watched the four couples in the room and their shared intimacy. It was a wonderful evening for everyone. Except for herself and Ron—who was upset because of her.
Fleur grabbed their attention by clinking a wine glass. "Een my house, we talk about the yeear that ees gone beefore beeginning a new yeear. Let us all reemember the time that is past."
"Great idea!" Fred perked up. "This year has, indeed, been special for us."
"Yup, we started our own joke shop," George said.
"And got our own apartment," Fred added.
"And we're now earning by legitimate means-"
"-And we love our work!"
"And there's the matter of one Angelina Johnson," Ginny coughed.
"And one Harry Potter, little sister," George imitated the cough.
"Alright, no more of this teasing. We're happy for you all," Mrs. Weasley smiled, giving a nod in Harry's direction that had the bespectacled boy blushing. "And there's a lot more to be happy about—like Bill and Fleur, and Remus and Tonks." Tonks raised her glass and leaned onto Remus' arm. "And I hope we hear wedding bells soon."
"And we are happy to celebrate the beginning of a new year with all our children," Mr. Weasley glanced at Percy before raising his own glass. "And with all our loved ones."
"I..." Percy hesitated. "I'm glad to be home again. With my family."
"Cheers to that," Remus smiled.
"And I am so happy that this stubborn man finally relented to my charms," Tonks grinned, batting her eyelashes. "I genuinely thought this one is out of my reach."
"Same pinch, Tonks!" Ginny laughed. "I've been there, too."
The boys sniggered.
"What about you, Harry Dear?" Mrs. Weasley prompted. "It has been a turbulent year for you."
"Er..." Harry looked around a little awkwardly. "Yes. This year, it wasn't smooth...with Sirius... But I guess, if I lost someone, I gained someone, too." He smiled at Ginny. She held his hand into both of hers, sharing a knowing look.
"And you, Hermione?" Bill asked. "How do you describe this year?"
Hermione glanced at her third finger where the ring was concealed, remembering the catastrophe that had wrecked havoc on her life. Then she smiled to herself recalling how she had met her parents in a place she could only identify as a limbo, but a place that had given her the hope to give life one more chance. Surreptitiously looking at Ron, the friend she was finally content with only having 'as a friend' after all her mental conundrum, she knew they would eventually come to an understanding. Then at Harry, with whom she had shared some of the most classified information about herself this year more than ever, and realised how they had taken their friendship deeper. Then at her crutches, recalling not just how she had tried to end everything for herself but also realising how she was granted another chance to cherish what she had, whatever she had. Then lastly at Severus' wrist watch that she had on—a small reminder of the man who had suddenly become a very important part of her life in whatever capacity, but still a part she was happy to have gained.
"It's been a rocky year. Too much has passed for me to consider this year as either black or white. I can just say that I have grown." She held up her glass of butterbear, "To looking forward to life, however it turns out to be."
"To life!" The others cheered.
A/N: So, do you think telling Ginny was wise? And ooh, what about Ron?
I have something special planned for you all in the next chapter! You'll love it After all that fighting, you amazing people deserve something special. :)
Are you excited?