The car ride to the airport is, if you're being kind, hellish. There aren't enough seats for all of you. You're forced to sit on Kol's lap in the back with Rebekah. He doesn't seem that upset about it, arms curled possessively around you. Bonnie sits next to Klaus; Elijah and Finn up front. You study Bonnie's silhouette, features illuminated by the passing street lights in flashes of midnight blue and orange.

Gratitude and irrational rage war in you.

You don't know why she's helping you get rid of your nightmares. She doesn't have to do any of this. There's no love lost between her and the Mikaelsons. (There's more to the story, you know. You remember the hatred in her eyes when she brought Klaus to his knees. She killed Finn— the one vampire you've met who doesn't seem to have hurt anyone other than himself). And yet she sits in the car with five of her biggest enemies without batting an eye.

If only you knew what the hell Elijah said to her to convince her to help you.

… You probably don't want to know.

You yawn into the sleeve of the over-sized sweater Rebekah forced on you. Kol's arms wrap around your waist. You rest your chin on top of his head. You'd be concerned with car safety if he wasn't a vampire. He's probably safer than a seatbelt. You catch your eyes trying to blink closed and force them open. Those caffeine pills really don't do much at this point.

Maybe you should take up cocaine.

(You're joking. Mostly).

"Not to sound like a child," you murmur into Kol's hair, "But how much longer?"

You didn't ask him, but Elijah answers.

"Twenty minutes. Are you positive you want to accompany us? New Orleans can be… dangerous for humans. We can scope out the situation without you."

"I'll be fine Elijah. It's my ghost."

"More like parasite," Rebekah scowls, "I'll rip it out of you myself."

Your lips curve into a smile.

"How sweet," Kol drawls.

"I think you mean bloodthirsty, dear brother."

Unlike Elijah, Rebekah doesn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Oh, shove off, Finn."

"I feel like I'm entitled to some light mockery," Finn says mildly, "I did spend nine hundred years in a box while you all got to maim and murder."

There's an uncomfortable silence. You think you're the only one who can sense the twinkle in Finn's eye.

"Don't be mean, Finn," you say dryly, "You can mutiny against Klaus after he resolves my spirit issue."

"I resent that," Kol says, digging his fingers into your side, "We could do it without him. I say we let Finn have his fun."

Klaus bares his teeth and you just laugh. Kol allows you to shift so you can rest your head against the seat rest. You're running on about three hours of sleep over two days. Not much better the days preceding. You're starting to feel like you're on the brink of death.

Well, brink might be a strong word. Within a three days walk of death, maybe.

Rebekah's hand reaches out to trace circles on your ankle.

You drift in and out of awareness during the rest of the trip— bumpy roads stopping you from sleeping completely. It's enough just to rest your eyes. (It's better this way. You're safe with them around you. No one can hurt you like this).

Part of you wants to let the Mikaelsons solve all of your problems for the rest of eternity. You're starting to accept that they even want to help. Starting to accept that maybe they've been telling the truth— maybe they do want you. Maybe they won't leave.

(A wave of jealousy crashes over you: jealousy for a future self who will have this family in ways you can't imagine. The same feeling you get whenever you dare to imagine a future less bleak than your past).

Kol strokes your hair when the car stops.

"Come on, princess," he jokes, "Time to get up."

You scowl at him, but get out of the car. You don't even make him carry you. You regret it by the time you get to check-in.

Elijah gets the tickets. There's only an hour before the flight. You suppose a little compulsion goes a long way, because this is the fastest you've ever been through security. Finn remains fascinated by the process. You resist the urge to have it out with him in front of his siblings and the witch who helped plan his death.

(You can berate him when you feel better).

Aside from— you know— the weight of exhaustion that's been your constant companion for over a month, you also realize you're hungry.

Oh boy, hungry and nauseous. What a treat.

"I'm going to go get snacks," Bonnie says once you get to your gate, "Want to come?"

You blink at her pointed stare. For a moment, you think she read your mind. (Can witches do that?)

You want to say no. You don't know how the rest of the Mikaelsons are so cavalier about their brother's life. Well-practiced as you may be, you can't find it in you to brush this aside so easily. (Even though you do like Bonnie. You didn't react this way when Damon and Stefan told you about their attempts to kill Klaus. You understood, then. But this is Finn).

You remind yourself that you once also feared the Mikaelsons. Sometimes you find yourself forgetting how you came to meet this family. You figure you'll survive a trip to get some Pringles.

"Hm, okay," you say and you get up out of your seat anyway. Rebekah catches your wrist.

"And where on Earth do you think you're going?"

"I thought vampires had good hearing."

She bares her teeth and you find the sight brings more amusement than fear at this point.

"I'll be right back," you promise, "If I go missing, you can murder all of Bonnie's friends and family."

They don't seem all that pleased— least of all Bonnie— but Rebekah reluctantly releases you.

Over-protective much.

Then again, maybe they're just protective enough. She is a witch, after all. You wonder if Bonnie is capable of the kind of hurt you've been suffering for the past month.

The thought makes you shudder.

Bonnie leads you to one of storefronts and shoves off-brand Pringles in your hands.

Okay, you really think she read your mind this time.

"I'm guess I'm paying," you say dryly. Bonnie shrugs.

"I don't have a card on me. Your evil friends did drag me out of my house."

She's not apologetic, but you see nervousness in her fluttering eyelashes and stance. You feel like a murderous, mind-reading witch would be less nervous. It makes you feel better.

"Didn't you also try to kill them?"

It's a pointed barb. Bonnie just shrugs. "Really only Klaus. The rest were collateral."

Fingernails bite into your palms.

"Why?"

She looks at you in disbelief.

"I quite literally couldn't list everything he's done to me."

… You can imagine that. "Touché," you say, an appeasement you understand but can't quite feel, "Gummy bears?"

She adds it to the pile. You wait silently.

"Why didn't you come to me before this?" Bonnie asks.

That didn't take long. You guess you're used to Klaus's dramatics. Part of you is tired of talking about your nightmares. You've been keeping it to yourself for so long that it feels strange to speak about it so openly. Freya was a secret— your secret— a cross that only you had to bear.

(Something only for you).

Now it's everyone's problem.

"I thought it would just go away by itself," you say after a moment, "I didn't understand what a haunting really was."

"You don't have to handle everything on your own."

There's a lot of things you could say to that.

"I guess so."

You buy some five-hour energy on a whim. It's not like more caffeine could hurt. (Well, in the short-term). You pay for her food and rip open some fruit snacks. You chase it with too-sweet energy drink. You catch Bonnie watching and offer her the bag.

"Want some?"

Her mouth twitches.

"No thank you."

You shrug and pop another in your mouth.

"You're really not like the Mikaelsons at all, are you?"

What an interesting thing to say. Sometimes, you'd even agree.

"Didn't you already know that?" You ask instead as you exit the kiosk and start meandering back to the gate.

"Knowing and seeing are different things."

"… I suppose you're right. Maybe it's because I'm still human."

It's a theory you've considered before, but Bonnie's already shaking her head.

"I have friends I've known my entire life who are vampires now, and they're not evil like them."

"Evil isn't real."

Her eyes study you. You see a flash of something dark: hidden waters.

"You haven't seen anything if you still think that's true."

You don't have a response for that. None of your 400-level psych courses went over the preternatural. (You still think evil is a construct made up by people to explain their own hate or cruel actions of others. People like to think that they're different from those who commit atrocities).

((You know better)).

"… So you have vampire friends? What are they like?"

"Thinking of getting turned already?"

You stumble, tripping over air.

The Mikaelsons never gave you any indication that they wanted to turn you. Never crossed your mind that you'd want to be a vampire at all. But you know how possessive they are…

(Rebekah did tell you, your mind whispers, how they would trade a human around and around until they turned or… Maybe there had been a warning in her words. A code).

You'd like to think that the Mikaelsons would let you continue to be human if you chose.

Then you remember the way Klaus held you out in the snow.

('I wouldn't let you chose another.')

"Honestly…" You say carefully, "I hadn't thought about it at all."

Bonnie looks at you like she's in awe of your idiocy.

"You're severely out of your depth, aren't you?"

Well, it's good someone else recognizes it too.

"But no," Bonnie continues, "My friends aren't anything like the Mikaelsons. It doesn't turn you into a monster if that's what you're wondering. Think of vampirism as an amplifier of who you are as a human. If you're emotional, you'll be a wreck. If you're angry, you're wrathful. If you're a type A, neurotic mess—" Her lips twitch like she wants to smile, "Well, you can still grow as a person."

You walk slowly, taking in her words. Bonnie is more open about what vampirism really entails than the Mikaelsons. Klaus told you about blood, immortality, vervain. But he skates past the emotional side.

Someone should tell him just because he avoids things, doesn't stop them from existing.

"I was wondering if you died," Rebekah snaps when you get into view, "Our plane is boarding soon."

"Sorry," you say, off-kilter, "Want some gummy bears?"

Kol and Rebekah try to make you sit with them. Your ticket says you're on the other side of the plane. There's too many people to compel their way out of that one. You wonder if this is how popular kids in TV shows feel at lunch time. You give them the rest of your gummy bears to placate them.

They really are like toddlers sometimes.

You go sit in your seat. You're grateful for your over-sized sweater. Planes are always so cold. The dry air makes your nose bleed.

Luckily, the flight to the Louis Armstrong airport isn't long.

"Mind if I sit?"

You blink as your eyes meet Finn's.

"I don't know, I actually like to have the extra room to stretch my legs."

His eyes crinkle in amusement.

"I suppose I'll fit with the luggage."

"Hm, I don't know, you're pretty tall. Do you happen to be a contortionist?"

"I'm afraid not"

"… I guess you can sit here, then."

"Many thanks," he says wryly. He settles next to you, seatbelt clicking as he buckles it. Despite the plane being somewhat crowded, no one else is sitting in your row.

"Did Elijah seat us separately on purpose?" You gaze idly at the rest of the Mikaelson siblings bunched together near the front. Bonnie's sitting next to Kol. She looks like she'd rather be anywhere else on hell or Earth.

The vindictive part of you is pleased.

"I wouldn't put it past him," he responds wryly, "He knows you haven't gotten a chance to yell at me yet."

"I never yell," you sniff, "I speak loudly."

"Sure."

"Speaking of, can your family hear us right now?"

Finn shakes his head. "Too many people. There's a lot of noise."

"Good."

You punch him in the arm. He winces.

"That didn't even hurt you, did it?" "… No."

"Maybe I should start carrying around a spray bottle of vervain," you muse.

"I recommend not doing that unless you want to see Niklaus's bad side."

"You're saying he has a good side?"

"Please," he says, eyes scanning you, "You know exactly what side you're on."

You stifle your flush.

"So do you want to tell me why?"

"… Why what?"

"Why you didn't tell me you were a Mikaelson?"

"Can you imagine a universe in which that would go over well?" He asks incredulously, "Either you would have no concept of what that means, or you do and you run away screaming."

"Or option C."

His lips twitch.

"Yes," he drawls, "I didn't think of that one. 'They want to be more', was it?"

Your face goes hot.

"I didn't know they were your siblings when I said that."

He chuckles. "Trust me, I am not unaware of my family's… habits."

"Doesn't exactly sound like you approve."

He looks at you evenly.

"I place little blame on your shoulders. The only part I disapprove of are my siblings' actions. You could do far better."

"… I wouldn't go that far."

You keep your eyes facing forward during take off. You can't bear looking Finn in the eyes right now. Not when part of you is still unsettled at the idea of turning into a vampire. You think if he sees your eyes he'll be able to see all the thoughts that you don't want to say. (Can't say). How could you not know? What happens now?

Most of all, you want to know what the hell he said to Klaus after you abandoned him in your house.

You chug the rest of your five-hour energy. It makes you shake more than anything. Or maybe that's just turbulence.

The seatbelt light turns off .

"Will anything change?" You ask, horribly stilted, after a moment, "Between us?"

Finn's head tilts as he nestles back in his seat.

"Not as such," he muses, "Now I just don't have to worry about my family killing you to spite me."

You rub your temples.

"So it's probably a good thing I befriended all of you, huh."

Finn chokes on a serrated laugh.

"I think you've been very, very lucky," Finn responds, sounding every bit one thousand years old, "And one day you'll find out how thin a tightrope you've been walking."

You're quiet. You recognize the pain in his eyes.

"… Finn, what did Klaus mean when he said you know why he daggered you?"

There's a pause, too long for eternity.

Finn very carefully doesn't look at you.

"Ask me when you've been able to sleep through the night, and I'll tell you," he answers eventually.

You don't press him.

You half expect Klaus to force Bonnie to do the location spell in the airport. You don't like the manic look growing in his eyes. He hasn't left your side since you got off the plane. His eyes scan without resting.

You start to wonder what the significance of New Orleans is to the Mikaelsons.

Elijah arranges transportation to the city. He gets a car big enough for everyone, this time.

Thank God.

Kol disappears to help Bonnie set up the spell because 'out of all of you, he knows the most about ancestral magic' or whatever that means. Normally, you'd at least want to ask. Right now you just want to pass out on the cigarette-covered pavement. Flying did something bad to you.

Actually, maybe you just want a cigarette.

Your vision starts to get a dark aura again. You press palms into your eyes and Rebekah lays a comforting hand on your back.

You stop yourself from shaking it off.

Klaus still hasn't left your side. Elijah and Finn are both pretending that they're not watching you try not to pass out. The caffeine-crash is exacerbating your nausea.

(Fuck, you miss your bed. You'd give anything to be home alone with your blackout curtains right now). Whatever relief-induced adrenaline you had earlier is gone now. You ache.

Kol and Bonnie return with a brown paper bag.

"We need to move," Kol says.

"We can't do this out in the open," Bonnie tacks on, eyes sweeping over the city skyline, "I get the feeling we're being watched."

"We are," Rebekah responds easily, "This place is crawling with vampires. Probably newborns given their lack of stealth. Don't worry, we won't let them hurt you. Much."

Bonnie scowls at her.

"How comforting."

"You don't have a brother we can kill to get truly even, so we have to take what we can get."

"That's enough," Elijah rebukes mildly, "Niklaus, we owned a safe house two streets over if I remember correctly?"

"Hm let me think, it's only been a century or two," he scoffs.

You need to sit down. Another headache is brewing, but you can handle it.

Klaus leads the group to an old warehouse. Rebekah links her arm with yours, mildly supporting you. You sway like you're drunk. You change your mind about your headache because the more you walk, the more it feels like your skull is splitting in two.

"Are you okay?" Rebekah asks, careful to keep any real concern out of her voice. You see Bonnie's eyes flicker your way.

You can't even fake a smile.

"Just get us to the asylum." She brushes your temples and your eyes slide closed. In a bout of lucidity, you wonder if Mikaelsons could compel you to sleep without dreams. Maybe you should have tried going off vervain.

It would have been less effort than this.

Elijah ushers you inside the air-conditioned warehouse. You're glad to get out of the humidity. January in New Orleans is a far cry from Virginia.

Another wave of queasiness rolls over you. You suppress the urge to vomit all over the cement floor. You shouldn't have eaten those gummy bears. Leaning haphazardly against the wall, you swallow around the bile rising in your throat.

Bonnie rattles around in a tornado of activity. When you find the strength to peek through your lowered eyelids, you see her setting up the map and an assortment of candles she must have been hiding in her purse. Kol's helping her. You're not sure what the connection between candles and witchcraft is, but you're in too much discomfort to ask.

Maybe they're just for the atmosphere.

Bonnie pours out vial of (your?) blood— you have no idea where she got that— and chants something low. The lit candles flicker. You don't know what she's saying— eyes glancing over to Klaus, but his gaze is trained on the warehouse doors.

Strange, you think, a second before a swarm of vampires break in. Bonnie's head bolts up.

"What did you do?" She growls, eyes going straight to Klaus.

"This isn't me," he snaps, moving in front of you. You can barely see around him and there's too many people touching you—

"We need to get out of here."

"You're welcome to leave," one of the intruders interrupts, "As long as you hand over the witch."

Bonnie snorts.

"I'd like to see you try."

"I hate to agree, but the witch isn't going anywhere," Kol says with a hard voice, "Who are you?"

"We work for Marcel Gerard. This witch is performing illegal magic."

"Illegal magic?" Bonnie says incredulously but Rebekah's face is bone white.

"What did you just say?" She asks in a tremulous voice.

The vampires look at each other, more nervous than they're used to and less nervous than you know they should be. Bile rises in the back of your mouth. You swallow it back down.

"They're working for me," a new voice calls and you officially don't know what's going on anymore. "Nice to see you all. Long time no see."

The man flashes her a grin and Rebekah stumbles. You've never seen her stumble before. Not like this.

Klaus stiffens behind you.

"Marcel…"

It's then that your body makes the decision to pass out.

You hit your head on the way down.

So this fic is officially the most popular fic in the TVD archive on Ao3 so I am CELEBRATING! Hope you guys liked the chapter :)