Chapter 22
I'll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for you
'Cause I'm not givin' up
-"Don't Give Up On Me" by Andy Grammer
James took another wet plate from Sam and dried it carefully with a towel. They'd volunteered to do the dishes after dinner. Tony, Barton, and Wanda were in the livingroom watching a tv show about baking. Well, Tony and Barton were watching it. Wanda had fallen asleep on Barton's shoulder almost immediately after eating dinner.
Wanda had seemed a little better after realizing where they were. It was a relief to see her more present and even a tiny bit engaged. The Barton farmhouse didn't look like Gîte des Hauteurs at all, but it had the same homey energy. James liked it.
There was evidence of children all over the house. Baskets full of toys, small shoes on the shelf by the door, children's drawings taped to the fridge, tiny forks and spoons in the silverware drawer. It made him realize how long it had been since he was around kids. He was thankful they weren't home, the fear that he might accidentally hurt them still ever-present in his mind, but it made a sharp ache come to life in his chest. Before the war, he'd always planned on having kids. He still pictured his sisters as small children, even though he knew all of them had passed away. He hadn't visited their graves yet. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to handle seeing their names written in stone.
The living room was completely silent except for the tv. The energy between Tony and Barton was strained. Tony had disappeared into the barn to tinker on the tractors for most of the afternoon. So he and Barton hadn't really been together until dinner. They were doing a pretty damn good job pushing past it, but after Wanda fell asleep the tension began to build. Sam kept sneaking glances into the room, his gaze sharp. James knew that Tony had visited them on the Raft to get information from Sam, but he didn't know exactly what had gone down.
"I gotta know." Barton said suddenly, his voice quiet but hard. "Did you invent that shock collar they had on Wanda?"
Tony looked at him sharply. "No."
Barton gave him a long look, one that wasn't exactly trusting.
"I would never invent a human shock collar." Tony's eyes flashed.
"Well it wouldn't be the first time your designs got taken and used to hurt people, would it?"
James wasn't sure if anyone else saw it, but he'd been trained to see people's tells, no matter how small. Tony was holding Barton's gaze, but the muscles around his eyes had tensed like he was resisting the urge to flinch.
"Clint." Sam said warningly, drying off his hands and walking into the living room where he sat on the other end of the couch from Barton.
James followed, taking a seat on a recliner next to where Tony sat on the couch. Barton had his arm around Wanda's sleeping form, his face hard as he looked at the billionaire. Tony was looking at the floor, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
"Look, I know you guys are all buddy buddy again, but every night when I try to sleep, I hear Wanda screaming as she's being tortured. I see the bruises and-." Barton's voice broke. "She's like one of my kids. They were hurting my kid. And I couldn't do a fucking thing to stop it."
"This hasn't been easy for anybody." Sam said quietly. "We're all still working on it."
"I'm sorry." Tony said abruptly, looking up at Barton. "I was wrong about the Accords. I was wrong to trust Ross. I fucked up and you and Wilson and Lang and Wanda all went through hell because of it. That's on me. I know that."
"You swear you didn't know what they were doing to Wanda?"
"I swear, Clint. If I had known what they were doing to Wanda, I would've called Steve and we would've stormed the fucking Raft together." Tony dropped his gaze to the floor again. "I'm sorry for anything I've done that makes you doubt that."
"Tony, if you don't mind me asking, why did you want the Accords to work?" Sam asked suddenly.
Tony looked over at him, his expression closed.
"What was driving you? What did you want to accomplish?" Sam added.
"Well you might remember that I had just invented a murderbot." Tony said sarcastically.
"So what, it was guilt about Ultron?"
"No." Tony seemed to snap, his voice rising. "Every time I tried to do something good, people died. And I didn't know how to stop -"
He broke off, shaking his head and swallowing hard.
"That boy's mother."
They all looked at Wanda, startled. She was still laying on Clint's shoulder, but her eyes were open now.
"The one who died in Sokovia. His mother ambushed you and said you murdered him."
They all looked at Tony now, who looked equally horrified and angry.
"Wanda, get out of my head." He snapped.
She shrunk back against Clint slightly.
"No, wait." Sam said, slightly louder now. "That boy's mom came up to you and said you murdered her kid? When was this?"
Tony looked away and for a moment James thought he wasn't going to answer. "When I spoke at MIT."
James knew about some of this, but not enough to feel comfortable joining the conversation. He tried to imagine a mother of one of the Winter Soldier's victims coming up to him and felt sick.
"Tony, you did not murder him. Ultron did." Sam said firmly. "And if you guys hadn't gone to Sokovia and stopped Ultron, he would have also murdered millions of other people!"
"Yeah and where did Ultron come from?" Tony muttered, still refusing to look at any of them.
"Ultron came from me."
James' gaze snapped to Wanda. Her eyes were filled with tears.
"I showed you your greatest fear. I saw how badly you wanted to protect everyone, and I…I twisted it. I gave you that vision of everyone you loved dying. I saw you take the scepter and I let you because I knew you would do something drastic out of desperation."
They were all quiet for a moment.
"I had already built the plans for Ultron." Tony finally said hoarsely. "You didn't force me to do anything, Wanda."
"Ultron was…something else." Sam said quietly. "I read a lot of the reports about him. He wasn't following the programming that you gave him, Tony. He created his own. Wouldn't that mean he was sentient enough to be responsible for his own decisions? We don't blame the parents of serial killers for birthing that child. I don't think it's fair to fully blame Tony for creating something that then went off and made its own decisions. All of you risked your lives to stop Ultron. And yeah, people died. It was a horrible tragedy. But they died because Ultron was determined to destroy humanity. Not because the Avengers tried to stop him."
James felt a surge of admiration for Sam. He was good at this, getting people to talk and staying calm. Not that he'd ever tell him that though. If Sam's head got any bigger he wouldn't fit through the fuckin doorway. No one spoke, but it looked like everyone was slowly processing what Sam had said. The silence stretched on for so long that the baking show ended and a new episode began.
"How's Rhodes doing?" Barton finally broke the silence.
Tony looked surprised. "He's doing better. I built him some leg braces and that plus the physical therapy has him back on his feet."
"Glad to hear it." Barton said quietly.
There was another awkward silence. Wanda was still awake, but her eyes were distant.
"I gotta apologize for what I said on the Raft." Barton said in a low voice. "I never should have thrown what happened to Rhodes in your face like that, and I'm sorry."
"Well, it was kinda true." Tony said.
James studied the billionaire. Tony was speaking in a light, self-deprecating tone, but there was something darker lurking behind his expression. From what he'd observed, the man seemed to excel at putting on arrogance and charm like a mask, but he was pretty sure that the Tony he'd seen in the workshop, the one who was trying desperately to forget and drown his pain, was the real one.
"What happened to Rhodes was an accident." Barton said, surprising James.
Tony did not look convinced.
"I'll carry guilt about Rhodes for the rest of my life." Sam said quietly. "For not being able to catch him in time. For being the one that Vision targeted. But I could spend the rest of my life being torn apart by the 'what ifs' or I can keep going and try to be better."
"Who is Riley?" Wanda asked suddenly.
Sam's gaze shot to her. He looked shocked and hurt and his voice came out sharp. "Wanda. Please don't go in my head."
"I'm trying not to." Wanda said defensively, her face reddening. "But it's like you're shouting memories at me."
"Did that happen before?" Clint asked, then sighed. "Well I guess you probably can't remember."
"I don't know." Wanda confirmed miserably.
James waited for the fear to hit him, waited for the panic to crawl up his throat at the idea that Wanda might accidentally get in his head. It didn't come.
Well that's interestin. He thought.
He glanced at Sam. They hadn't told Wanda about the Scarlet Witch prophecy. Didn't seem like a good time to drop a bomb like that on her. But if her powers were changing or getting stronger, he wasn't sure how much longer they could wait.
"Riley was my wing-man." Sam finally said. "He got hit on a mission. I couldn't save him."
"I'm sorry." Wanda said softly.
"It's ok." Sam sighed. "Sorry I snapped at you."
"It's ok." Wanda echoed quietly.
They fell into silence again, watching the contestants on the tv attempting to make something called macaroons.
"I gotta say, I never expected to see the two of you in a room peacefully co-existing." Barton said eventually, gesturing to Tony and James.
"Barnes is alright." Tony said, surprising James.
"...for a pain in the ass." Sam added.
James gave Sam his best Asset stare, flat and empty and promising violence.
"Damn that's creepy." Barton muttered.
"Makes my skin crawl every time." Sam glared.
Wanda's lips lifted slightly in a tiny smile.
"For the record, I'm sorry I didn't bust you all out of the Raft sooner. Even if I didn't know what was happening there." Tony said abruptly.
"Don't pretend you weren't behind that video footage leak." Barton said, eyebrows raised.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Tony said breezily, then sobered, glancing at Wanda. "I should've hacked the Raft immediately."
James looked at Wanda too. That small smile had disappeared and she was huddled into Barton's side, looking pale and clammy.
"God I wish I could've seen Ross' face when the footage went public." Barton said darkly.
"Same." Sam muttered.
"Don't get me wrong, I never liked Ross, but I did not realize he was such a monster." Tony shook his head in disbelief. "Bruce said a few things in passing that surprised me, but I kinda brushed him off. I should've asked more questions."
"Good thing Bruce left when he did." Sam said quietly. "From what I saw of Ross, I wouldn't be surprised if he orchestrated all of this just to finally get his hands on the Hulk."
Tony looked slightly sick.
"Have you heard from him at all?" Barton asked.
Tony shook his head. "No."
It didn't take a telepath to hear the hurt in Tony's voice.
"Wanda." James said, trying to keep the worry from his voice. "You ok?"
Wanda had squeezed her eyes shut and tucked her chin into her chest so her hair fell over half of her face like she was trying to hide.
Barton twisted to look down and then gently wrapped both arms around her. "Hey kiddo. You're safe. I got you."
James watched them, an ache in his chest. It had killed him when Wanda had flinched away from him after Strange helped her retrieve some of her memories. He hadn't fully realized that she hadn't been flinching or afraid of touch after she'd woken up until that fear surged back. He didn't blame her for being afraid. He understood more than anybody probably realized. But he still had to remind himself over and over that she wasn't afraid of him specifically .
"I might have to head up to bed soon." Sam said with a yawn.
"Oh right. Sleeping arrangements." Barton said. "So I've got a guest room with a queen bed and then Lila's room has a twin and Nathaniel's room has a twin. Wanda, I know everybody's been taking turns being with you so you're not alone. I figured you could take Lila's room and we could set up a cot."
Wanda nodded slightly, still looking like she was only half present.
"Is it ok if I take the first night on the cot?" Barton asked.
Wanda nodded again, but her eyes flicked up to meet James'.
I'm not afraid of you. Her voice whispered in his head.
He managed not to flinch at the surprise and gave her a small smile. I know. He hesitated a moment. I missed hearing your voice in my head.
Her eyes widened just slightly. Did I do this before?
You figured it out in Canada. You were able to link me and Sam and Steve all together with you so we could communicate telepathically. His smile widened slightly. It was really fuckin cool.
Her cheeks went pink, but she looked pleased.
A couple hours later, Wanda lay in Lila's bed, staring at the glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling. She'd been unable to stay awake on the couch, but now it was like her brain couldn't shut off. Clint was asleep on the cot set up a few feet away from the bed. It did make her feel safer seeing him there. The fear that had been clenched around her lungs for days had abated a little. It still felt like there were unspeakable horrors hovering on the edges of her consciousness, but it helped remembering how Clint had been there.
She hated how so many of her memories cut off abruptly as though someone had snipped them in half with a pair of sharp scissors. It was unsettling and uncomfortable, but she was too scared to even think about trying to get the rest.
The clock downstairs chimed softly and she sighed. She wished she could just stop thinking and fall asleep. Even in separate rooms she could still feel the others. Tony was in Nathaniel's room. Sam and James were in the guest room sharing the bed. Clint had offered his bed, but they'd just shrugged.
"It's ok." Sam had said after glancing at James. "We did this in Canada and he only tried to kill me once."
Wanda tried to remember that, but it was one of the blank spaces in her head. She didn't remember much of Canada at all. A few flashes of moments that didn't make a lot of sense. Blood flowing into a shower drain, James' empty eyes, a priest saying "Heil Hydra." Most of the things she'd remembered had apparently been from the Raft and in Wakanda afterwards.
Sam was asleep. Tony and James both seemed to be awake. She wasn't sure how she knew that. She was trying so hard to keep her powers to herself, but somehow she still knew. Just like she knew that Clint was dreaming about the Raft. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up to hear herself screaming through his dream. She bit her lip, trying to ignore it, but eventually she couldn't take it any more. Cautiously she sent an image of the kids running in the yard giggling madly as he chased them. His taut features slowly relaxed as the new dream took hold and she breathed a sigh of relief. He shouldn't have to dream about the Raft.
Wanda.
She tensed at the soft voice.
Let me help.
She sat up abruptly, trying to banish the voice from her mind.
I can help, Wanda, if you'd just trust me.
Shuddering, she slid out of bed and tiptoed to the door. Clint didn't wake as she cautiously opened the door and slipped out, using her powers to close it silently. Once in the hallway, she realized she didn't know where she was going next. She moved quietly down the stairs and back into the living room. After a brief hesitation, she turned the tv back on, turning the volume low and resumed the baking show they'd been watching. She curled up on the couch, and tried to focus on the show to drown out the voice.
She'd been watching for a few minutes when she heard a stair creak behind her. She whipped around to see James standing on the staircase.
"Sorry." He said quietly. "I heard the tv." He went down the last few stairs and moved into the living room. "You ok?"
"Yeah. I can't sleep."
He smiled crookedly. "Been there."
"Would you like to watch tv with me?" She asked hesitantly.
"I'd love to." He grinned and she felt her heart stutter.
He sat on the same couch as her, but on the other end. She could sense the hesitation rolling off of him. He wanted to be close to her, but he didn't want to push her. He wanted her to feel safe. His concern made that fear inside of her soften.
Do you want to remember him? The voice asked gently.
That wasn't fair. Of course she wanted to remember him. But she didn't dare acknowledge that voice. She couldn't.
Why?
She swallowed hard. She didn't know.
Let me show you.
She twisted her hands in her lap, warring with herself. But god, she wanted to know. She forced herself to relax her shoulders, to unclench her jaw, and let go. Just a little.
She was inside of a plane, laying on a small bed on top of the blankets even though she was shivering. The thought of the blankets wrapping around her made her feel like she couldn't breathe.
"You know there are blankets on that bed."
Wanda turned her head to see James lying on his side, looking at her. There was a single bench seat between them, but it was almost like they were laying next to each other in one bed.
"I know." She mumbled. "I just feel…trapped. If I use them."
"It gets real cold in Canada." James said quietly.
Wanda shivered again, feeling icy claws of panic dig into her chest.
"If you don't want to use the blankets, there's always good ol' fashioned body heat."
Wanda's gaze snapped back to James. He had a crooked smile on his face, and it felt like a challenge. It was strange how she felt her spirits immediately rise to match his teasing tone.
"Oh I know, Steve already offered." She said sweetly.
The look of delighted surprise on his face at her response felt almost intoxicating.
Wanda blinked. No, that couldn't be all of it. She reached out, grasping for that glowing figure and it felt like a phantom hand entwined with hers. A pleasant warmth spread down her arm.
Wanda was laying on a bed in a small room. James was checking the window, making sure it was locked, and fidgeting with the curtains. Despite the pain in her legs, a small smile crept across her face. He was stalling.
"James."
He turned and looked at her and she was struck by how handsome he was. He was wearing one of the hats they'd found at the thrift store and there was a few days worth of stubble on his face, but his eyes were so striking and that little crooked smile that was creeping over his face made her heart beat faster.
"Like what you see?"
"Hmm." She made a thoughtful sound. "I don't know, you're too far away."
He was grinning now. "If you want me in bed with you, doll, all ya gotta do is ask."
Wanda felt her face flush and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Doll?"
He hesitated, uncertainty flashing across his face. "Sorry, uh, that was the 1930's slippin' out."
"If you call me a 'dame,' I will smack you."
He moved closer, a remnant of his grin returning. "How bout sugar plum?"
Wanda wrinkled her nose.
"What, I love plums." He braced his hands on the side of the bed and leaned in. "They're delicious." He murmured against her lips and then his mouth was devouring her.
It felt like butterflies erupted in her stomach. His lips were soft, but demanding, and Wanda responded hungrily, but he pulled back far too soon. She stared at him, trying to catch her breath and desperately wanting more.
"You are supposed to be sleeping." He said sternly, that cocky grin fully back on his face.
Wanda glared at him and he laughed.
"I was promised body heat." She arched an eyebrow at him.
"Oh so you are inviting me into your bed?"
"Technically it's your bed."
He grinned. "That's true. I gotta say, I like this bed a lot better with you in it than Sam."
An actual giggle escaped her mouth as she shook her head at him. "Will you get over here?"
He toed off his boots and slid into bed, his eyes laughing at her. "Alright, but no kissing." He said sternly. "Doctor's orders."
Wanda curled up into him, his heat seeping into her. She pressed her cold nose against his neck and smiled at his shiver. Her hands fisted in his shirt, relishing the warmth. He tucked her tightly against him with his non-metal hand, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He was warm and solid and safe, and she wished she could stay like this in his arms forever.
The memory faded, leaving tears welling in her eyes. The voice inside her mind was quiet in a gentle way, almost like it was giving her space.
She remembered the pain on his face when he'd appeared in her mind and she hadn't known him. That devastation made more sense now. She remembered how her focus kept returning to him, like a magnet. It was as though her very bones and blood remembered him even when her mind couldn't.
She'd loved him.
She sat quietly for a while, trying to wrap her mind around it and attempting to get control over her emotions. She felt like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff. She could stuff all this emotion back down and stay guarded and safe, or she could let herself fall.
She admired his profile out of the corner of her eye. He was handsome. She remembered the press of his lips against hers and swallowed hard. She suddenly hated that he was so far away on the other end of the couch, hated feeling like she was tiptoeing around her life, hated all this second-guessing.
"James."
He immediately turned and looked at her, and being the center of his entire focus made her feel warm in a good way.
"I was promised body heat."
Watching and feeling the series of emotions that went through him brought a joy to her heart that chased almost all the shadows away. His startled look mixed with shock changed to wonder which quickly became happiness tinged with something warm and spicy. Any remaining shadows were vanquished by the sunshine smile that spread across his face.
"That's true." He said in a low voice that made her heart skip. "Can't go breakin promises."
He scooted closer until he was right next to her. He wrapped his human arm around her shoulders, gently, and then paused, his dark eyes serious as he met her gaze.
"You gotta tell me if it's too much, ok?"
She nodded, and then leaned forward to wrap her arms around his neck, curling into him. Space was not something she wanted right now. She wanted to be wrapped up in him like she'd been in that memory. He let out a little huff of a laugh and then after a moment tugged her into his lap, wrapping both arms tightly around her. She laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat quickly. He rested his cheek on the top of her head. He was so warm and he smelled so good. She remembered how her mother had smelled like home. She didn't remember the details of that scent, but she thought it smelled something like him.
"This ok?" He murmured.
Wanda hummed in agreement. This was more than ok. This was everything she wanted. She could sense the awe and contentment he was feeling, along with deeper emotions that she made sure to avoid. He said he wasn't afraid of her seeing in his head, but it felt disrespectful to rifle through his emotions.
"Did you remember that just now?" He asked quietly, his voice rumbling beneath her cheek.
"Yeah."
"Been thinking about me?" He teased lightly.
She felt a smile curl around her lips. "Just can't seem to forget you."
"Been told I'm pretty unforgettable." She could hear the grin in his voice.
"Did Sam tell you that? I don't think he meant that as a compliment."
He laughed quietly, his arms tightening around her slightly. "God, I missed you."
"I'm sorry I forgot you." She whispered.
He shifted her back so quickly that she released his neck, startled. "That's not your fault." He said firmly, his dark eyes locked on her. "You don't ever gotta feel guilty about that."
They stared at each other in the dim light for several breaths.
"I'm so scared to remember more." She confessed in a whisper.
He released her waist to slowly move his hands up to gently cup her face, one hand warm, one cool. "I don't blame you, doll. You've been through hell and back."
"I want to remember you, though." Her voice was trembling slightly and she wasn't entirely sure why. "The moments with you are…they're beautiful."
"Every moment with you has been beautiful." He said, his voice rough.
Those butterflies in her stomach took flight again. She curled into him again, taking refuge from the intense emotions by hiding her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek back on the top of her head. She felt so safe and warm. The tv was a calming drone of quiet noise in the background. Slowly she felt her muscles relax. The horrible memories in her head and all the recent painful events seemed more like a bad dream.
"James?" She murmured.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for being here."
She heard his breath catch slightly in his throat and he tightened his arms around her for a moment.
"I'm not goin anywhere, doll."
She smiled drowsily. "I like it when you call me that."
He pressed a kiss into her hair. "You warmin up to 'sugar plum' yet?"
"Don't you dare."
She felt the rumble of his chuckle under her cheek. Maybe…maybe the rest of her memories would be worth it. She was fairly certain she could bear a lot of pain if it meant that she could make him smile like that again.
Tony was standing in the living room with a hot cup of coffee when Clint came down the stairs in a panic.
"Is Wanda-"
Tony turned and made a shushing motion at him, causing Clint's eyebrows to shoot up. Thankfully the archer actually listened for once and moved quickly into the living room to stand beside Tony. Both of them looked at the scene on the couch. It was fucking adorable. Barnes was sitting with his head back, fast asleep, and his arms were around Wanda who was curled up against his chest asleep on him like a cat.
"What the hell?" Clint whispered.
"I know." Tony whispered back dryly. "If I slept like that I'd have to go to the chiropractor."
Clint shot him an incredulous glare, but Tony just made his way into the kitchen. Clint followed.
"How long has that been going on?" Clint asked, still frowning.
"Not sure." Tony said honestly, pouring himself more coffee.
"I'm gonna have a word with Steve." Clint muttered.
"Oh come on, Barton. They're both adults."
"You're seriously ok with them being together?"
"I don't think it's up to me." Tony said, then added pointedly. "Or you."
Clint took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Tony sipped his coffee, grateful that he'd brought his own beans. The only option in the Barton cupboards was Folgers. Folgers.
"No, you're right." Clint said.
Tony looked at him, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. "I'm sorry, what? Did you just agree with me?"
Clint glared at him. "Don't make me take it back."
Tony grinned. "No take backs."
Clint rolled his eyes and poured himself a cup of coffee. Tony watched to see his reaction when he drank coffee made from the best beans money could buy, but there was nothing. No reaction. He might as well have been drinking Folgers. Honestly, Clint?
"I just don't want her to get hurt." Clint said quietly, staring out the window over the kitchen sink.
"Well from what I've seen, Barnes would throw himself over a grenade for our little witch without a second thought."
Clint huffed. "God, what the hell are we thinking going up against witches and wizards?"
"Well, we took down Agatha. That counts for something. And hey, having a witch and a wizard on our side helps."
Clint shook his head, still staring out the window. "I feel like a relic of a simpler time."
Tony couldn't help snickering. "Did you steal that line from Steve? I'm pretty sure that was a direct quote from Captain America."
Clint glared at him again, but a smile was pulling one side of his mouth up slightly. "I feel like I'm a hundred year old man so might as well start talking like one."
"Speaking of a hundred years old, I figured out why that rotary tiller won't turn on."
"I'm not even surprised." Clint sighed. "You know, it makes a man look bad when you show up and fix that damn tractor I've been working on for months in just one day. "
"Well you don't have to tell Laura that." Tony grinned.
"I won't." Clint said, grinning back.
Wanda woke up slowly, feeling rested for the first time in a long time. Then she realized the bed underneath her cheek was breathing. She tensed, picking up her head, and met blue grey eyes.
"G'mornin." James said, his voice adorably raspy.
The panic that had seized her immediately melted away. She was still sitting in his lap and curled up against his chest. They were in Clint's farmhouse.
"Good morning." She smiled sleepily.
He smiled back, but he was studying her with an intensity that she didn't quite understand. She had to forcefully hold her powers back to keep from dipping curiously into his emotions.
"What?" She asked.
"Just realizing that I don't think I've ever told you how pretty you are."
She felt her cheeks flush, but she tilted her chin slightly. "No?"
"I know, I'm an idiot." His smile went crooked and her stomach flipped. Then his voice softened into something low and husky. "You are beautiful."
God, if she could wake up like this every day she'd die happy.
"Well thank god we got that taken care of."
Her own voice had dipped low, matching his energy. Something sparked in his eyes that made her heart beat faster. He opened his mouth to say something and-
"GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!"
Both of them startled and looked up to see Sam bounding down the stairs.
"Well I don't know about you but I slept great. In fact I think this-" He came to an abrupt halt when he finally seemed to realize that Wanda and James were curled up together on the couch. "Whoa I am having some serious deja vu right now."
"Same. And it's just as annoyin the second time." James said dryly.
Sam grinned and Wanda felt a small smile creep over her face.
"Where's Tony and Clint?" Sam asked.
"Dunno." James said.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Alright, sorry, carry on, don't mind me."
He made his way into the kitchen, humming to himself and rummaging through cupboards. James let out a long suffering sigh.
"You want some breakfast? Smells like there's coffee." He asked.
Wanda shifted so she could twine her arms around his neck and pull him close. His arms immediately tightened around her, and she could feel his surprise and affection. She pressed her lips to his temple and smiled as he nuzzled into her hair.
"Thank you for last night." She murmured.
"Just so we're clear, doll, I'll do anythin for you." His low voice in her ear made goosebumps rise on her arms. "And not cause I feel obligated or some shit like that. I was ready to tear the world apart to find you when you were taken. You are my salvation, Wanda."
Wanda shivered, and he gently shifted her off his lap, looking terribly smug at how he'd rendered her speechless. He stood up and followed Sam into the kitchen, and it took her several minutes before she was able to pull herself together and join them.
Dr. Strange appeared in the mid morning. Wanda was in the barn with Clint, squealing over the nest of newborn kittens he had found in the hayloft. When they heard him calling they both peered over the edge of the hayloft and exchanged amused glances at the sight of the Sorcerer Supreme in his long red cape standing in the middle of the barn.
"Wanda, I thought we could do some training exercises." He said.
They went back to the mirror dimension, but this time it looked exactly like the field at Clint's farm that they'd been standing in. Wanda slowly turned to see the barn and the farmhouse behind them. The only difference was that Clint, Sam, and James had vanished from the farmhouse porch.
"Can you make the mirror dimension whatever you want?" She asked curiously.
"Yes." Dr. Strange replied. "Although it's easiest to just let it take the form of wherever you are."
Wanda fidgeted slightly. "So now what?"
"Now I want you to do the same thing we did before. I want you to access your inner self."
"No." Wanda said immediately, her heart clenching in fear.
"Why not?" Dr. Strange asked patiently.
"I don't…I can't…" Wanda stammered, taking a few steps back.
"Wanda, I am not going to force you to do anything." He said solemnly. "But you have vast amounts of your power that you are holding back. Are you aware of this?"
Wanda felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said somewhat desperately.
Dr. Strange observed her carefully. She wasn't totally sure why there was panic pumping swiftly through her veins.
"Can you tell me why this makes you so afraid?" He finally asked quietly.
Wanda felt the urge to lie. It was on the tip of her tongue before she managed to choke it down.
"I don't know." She whispered hoarsely.
Dr. Strange frowned thoughtfully. "When you access your inner self, like we did with your memories, did you see or feel anything different?"
Wanda thought about the being currently slumbering inside her, the one that looked like a woman made up of her red powers. The one who whispered promises and had glowing red eyes. "Kind of."
"Would you mind describing it for me?"
Dr. Strange waved his hand and conjured a leather sofa in the middle of the field. He took a seat and gestured for Wanda to do the same. Wanda perched slightly awkwardly on the other end.
"It's like my powers are…another thing. " She began hesitantly.
"As in, they are separate from you?"
"Yes? I don't know."
"How do they feel separate?"
Wanda felt the panic rising up again. She knew most people did not hear voices in their heads. She'd watched enough movies and tv shows to know that sort of thing could get people locked up in a small padded white room. The memory of the straitjacket surged into the forefront of her mind and she sucked in a horrified gasp.
The mirror dimension had changed. They were both sitting on the floor of the solitary confinement room on the Raft. Wanda's lungs seized as she realized that she was wearing the straitjacket again and the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped swept over her. Dr. Strange got to his feet, looking warily around. Wanda stayed sitting, her breath coming in short panicked gasps.
"This isn't real, Wanda." Dr. Strange said briskly, waving his arm with a muttered spell.
Nothing happened.
His lips pressed tightly together, and he tried again. Those icy tendrils of fear crept closer. When the spell failed a second time, he turned towards her, regarding her carefully.
"Wanda, can I take that jacket off?" He asked gently.
Wanda nodded, her throat tight with panic. She managed to get to her feet, turning around so Dr. Strange could reach the buckles.
"Barbaric contraption." Dr. Strange muttered darkly as he worked.
Finally he released the last buckle and the horrible thing fell to the floor. Wanda retreated away from it, hugging her arms across her chest protectively, until she had her back to one of the padded walls.
"Is this the Raft?" Dr. Strange asked quietly, kicking the fallen straitjacket to the far corner.
"Yes." Wanda whispered raggedly.
He studied her again, his cape moving gently behind him even though they were inside. "What made you think of this place?"
She shuddered and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "This feels like where I'll end up."
He furrowed his brow, his eyes calculating. "Do you worry that you are insane?"
Wanda hiccuped a panicky laugh. "What is that American saying? If it talks like a fish and walks like a fish?"
A slight smile crossed Dr. Strange's face. "You mean a duck?"
"Duck, fish, it doesn't really matter. I know that most people would see me as insane."
"Well fuck most people." Dr. Strange said calmly. "I want to know what you think. Do you think you're insane?"
"I don't know." Wanda confessed.
There was a brief silence, but Dr. Strange's sharp gaze had softened somewhat. "Why don't we start with you describing your powers."
Wanda swallowed hard. "Can we go back to the meadow?"
"That's up to you." He said gravely. "Your fear is holding us here."
Wanda stared at him, horrified. "I don't….I am? I don't know how to stop it."
"I think a good way to start would be to let go."
"What does that mean?" Wanda asked desperately.
"It means that your fear is in charge right now. You need to find a way to calm your mind and find balance once again. Only then will you be in charge."
"Oh good." Wanda couldn't help snapping. "Just stop being afraid? Why didn't I think of that?"
He fully smiled now. "It is much easier said than done."
Heavy footsteps approached the door and Wanda attempted to leap backwards, forgetting that she was already pressed against the wall. Her hand came up to grasp the collar around her throat, yanking desperately on the cool metal. Dr. Strange turned to look at the door, waved his hand, and the door completely disappeared, leaving behind smooth wall. On the other side they heard the startled curse of the guard.
"I can't bring us back, but I can keep those assholes out." Dr. Strange explained.
His gaze narrowed on the collar around her neck and he waved his hand again. The collar vanished and Wanda gasped in relief.
"You can do this, Wanda." He added quietly. "Yes, you experienced horrible things here, but you don't have to let the fear control you. With work, you can take back that control."
Wanda slid down the wall to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. She felt so defeated.
"Why don't you start with the breathing exercise we did before?" Dr. Strange settled himself on the cold hard floor, facing her. "Focus on your breath. Let go of everything else."
Wanda took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. She tried to remember how to focus on just her breaths, but the panicky need to get out of this horrible place kept getting in the way.
"I will not let them touch you." Dr. Strange said firmly. "The worst that will happen is that we sit in a dark damp room for a while."
Time stretched on as Wanda struggled. Dr. Strange sat patiently, waiting. He only moved when the guards came back and attempted to get through the wall with something like a sledgehammer. Wanda wasn't totally sure what the Sorcerer Supreme did, but from the screams it sounded like the sledgehammer had turned into a very large snake.
Finally the panic dulled. Maybe it was a meditative state or maybe it was more like exhaustion, but eventually everything fell away until all she knew were her breaths. Wanda closed her eyes.
Wanda, you are not insane.
Right because everyone had a glowing inner being that spoke to them.
You're not insane. You have the power of the Scarlet Witch.
Wanda paused, startled. " The what?"
I am as old as the very foundation of the earth. A prophecy waiting to be fulfilled.
"What prophecy?"
The Scarlet Witch is not born; she is forged. She has no coven or need for incantation. Her power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It is her destiny to destroy the world.
Wanda's mouth went dry. Her thoughts were flying through her head too quickly to be coherent. Finally she managed to focus on one word.
"Destroy?"
Chthon, one of the Elder Gods of Earth and author of the Darkhold, has made it so.
Wanda felt like she might be sick. She'd been worried about being insane and as it turned out the truth was so much worse. "I don't want to destroy the world!"
We are bound to be the vessel of Chthon.
Wanda cried out in pain, clutching her head. The memory felt like it violently clawed itself upward through her mind.
"Nikomu to nesmieš dať vedieť. [You can't let anyone know.]" Mama's expression was unusually grave. "Musíš to ovládať, miláčik. [You have to control it, darling.]"
"Nemôžem. [I can't.]" Wanda sobbed, trying desperately to shake the red flames from her fingertips. "Nemôžem to zastaviť! [I can't stop it!]"
"Dobre. Je to v poriadku. Ticho, miláčik, poznám niekoho, kto môže pomôcť. [Alright. That's ok. Hush, darling, I know someone who can help.]"
Wanda stayed in her room and listened to Mama lie to Papa, telling him they were going on an errand. Pietro wanted to go, but Mama said they needed some girl time. While Papa tried to reason with her sulking brother, Mama quickly snuck her out the door. Wanda clasped her glowing hands tight to her chest. The fire didn't hurt her, it didn't burn her clothes or her skin, but it had singed Mama's sweater when she'd grabbed her out of desperation. It was drizzling outside and Wanda held out a hand, hoping the rain would put out the fire, but the raindrops just hissed as they came in contact and left the fire untouched. Fresh panic filled her chest. She didn't understand what was happening to her. Mama ushered her into the car and told her to sit on the floor of the passenger seat and to keep her head down. Wanda curled herself into a ball on the floor, careful to keep her hands on her chest and not touch any part of the car.
Mama drove quickly through the streets, out of the city, and into the nearby woods. Wanda peered up at the window, but all she could see was the dark tangle of branches overhead. It was so dark it seemed like nighttime. The road became a bumpy dirt road and Mama was forced to slow as the car bounced over rocks. Finally the car came to a stop and Mama let out a deep breath.
"Sme tu. [We're here.]"
She got out of the car and went around to help Wanda. Wanda desperately wished she could clutch her mother's hand, but she didn't dare touch her with the strange fire. As she looked up, she was distracted momentarily by the old hut before them. It was nestled in the woods, apparently made from the trees with walls of black branches woven together. A strangely purple smoke was rising from the chimney. It looked like a drawing from a terrifying fairy tale.
"Kde sme? [Where are we?]" Wanda whispered.
"Toto je domov bosorky Ružena. [This is the home of the witch Ružena.]" Mama said back in a low voice. "Buď ticho, miláčik. [Stay quiet, sweetheart.]"
A witch? Wanda had never met a witch before. She knew some people in their town believed in witches, but Papa had always said witches were just a fairy tale. As they approached the house, all the hair on the back of Wanda's neck stood up. The door opened and an old woman stood in the doorway, her arms crossed and her face set in a stony expression. Her hair was gray and fell around her face in long, unruly waves. Her face was wrinkled, but Wanda thought she was quite beautiful. She did not look happy to see them.
"Už je to dávno, Iryna. [It's been a long time, Iryna.]" She said in a cold voice. "Odvážne, že si tu ukázal svoju tvár. [Bold of you to show your face here.]"
"Ružena, prosím, potrebujem vašu pomoc. Sily sa už začínajú prejavovať. [Ružena, please I need your help. The powers are already starting to show.]" Mama's voice was calm, but it shook.
"Varoval som ťa, že sa to stane. [I warned you this would happen.]" Ružena's expression had darkened even further.
"Nemôžem zmeniť minulosť. Stalo sa, čo sa stalo. Pomôžete zachrániť budúcnosť alebo nie? [I can't change the past. What's done is done. Will you help save the future or not?]"
Wanda looked up at Mama, startled by her harsh tone. Mama's face was fierce and scary. Terrified tears overflowed in Wanda's eyes, but Mama didn't look down. She just held Ružena's gaze. Finally Ružena glanced down at Wanda and something in her hard expression softened slightly.
"Dobre. Poď dnu. [Fine. Come in.]" The witch said, stepping backwards to hold the door open. "Predtým, ako vpustíte stvorenie dovnútra. [Before you let a creature inside.]"
The inside of the cottage was surprisingly cozy. The furniture was all made from woven branches, but there were crocheted blankets and quilts everywhere. Dried flowers and herbs hung from the rafters. A fire crackled in the massive fireplace. Mama ushered Wanda over to the fire and told her to sit on the stone floor. Wanda obeyed, and before Mama moved away she quickly brushed Wanda's tears away with a gentle hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"To je v poriadku miláčik. Sľubujem. [It's ok, darling. I promise.]"
The witch snorted loudly in derision, but she didn't speak until Mama reached her side. The two of them disappeared around the corner, their voices a low murmur with occasional harsh whispers like they were arguing. Wanda couldn't make out any words. She stared at the fire dancing in the hearth. There was something strangely familiar about it. She held up her fingers and compared the two flames. The one in the fire was orange, but with a light purple glow. Both flames seemed to move slightly unnaturally. Like they weren't real fire, but something else. Wanda shivered, but the stones near the hearth were warm. Eventually her tense muscles relaxed and she laid her head on her knees. The cottage smelled good, like herbs and spices.
The next thing she knew, she was being carried up their apartment stairs.
"Zaspal som v aute? [Did I fall asleep in the car?]" She asked sleepily.
"Áno, moja láska, ale to je v poriadku. Splnili sme úlohy. [Yes, my love, but it's alright. We completed our errands.]"
Mama laid her on the couch before going back down to bring up the groceries with Papa. Pietro, who was hovering next to the couch, stuck his tongue out at her and then darted away. Wanda pushed herself up to go catch him, but stopped at the sight of her hands. There was something…something different about her hands. She stared at her hands, struggling to remember what was flitting on the very edge of her mind, but it dissolved like the remnants of a dream. As she resumed chasing after Pietro she decided it must have been just that, a dream.
"Wanda!"
Wanda opened her eyes to see the blue sky above her. She was laying on her back in the field, the long grass waving around her in the breeze. Dr. Strange was leaning over her, his eyes sharp and assessing.
"Wanda, can you hear me?" He asked.
Wanda nodded, blinking and trying to get her bearings. He held out a hand and she took it, letting him pull her up to a sitting position. She glanced around, noting that the farmhouse porch was still empty. They must still be in the mirror dimension. Her head was pounding and she raised a shaky hand to press on her temple.
"Does your head hurt?" Dr. Strange asked, watching the movement.
"Yes." Wanda said hoarsely. "What happened?"
"You had a memory return, one that had been sealed by magic." Dr. Strange said quietly. "I saw it, but it was like I was watching through a window. I couldn't interact with it like when we were on the Raft. That witch your mother brought you to, Ružena, used a very powerful, ancient spell to seal your powers and the memory of them away. It seems that the Scepter was able to break through the spell, giving you a portion of your powers back, but even now the seal is still holding back the full extent of your powers."
Wanda stared into the distance without seeing it. Her mother had known a witch. The witch had known her mother. She'd had these powers, the power of the Scarlet Witch, before the Scepter and her mother had known. What did it mean?
"Did you know I have the power of the Scarlet Witch?" She asked numbly.
Dr. Strange studied her silently for a moment. "Yes." He finally admitted. "Agatha Harkness told us."
"Us." Wanda repeated faintly.
Dr. Strange let out a heavy sigh. "Yes. They all know. We were not intentionally keeping this from you, Wanda, but waiting for the right time to tell you."
"I'm destined to destroy the world." Wanda felt like her voice was coming from somewhere far away.
"That is the prophecy." Dr. Strange confirmed slowly. "But I think it's important for you to know that when your friends heard of this, they were very vehement that you would never willingly do so." He paused for a moment, then met her eyes. "After spending more time with you, I am inclined to agree with them."
Wanda couldn't quite pin down what emotions she was feeling. Grief, betrayal, horror, love, fear, hope, desperation. She couldn't help thinking back over the last few days, examining how everyone had treated her. No one had really treated her any differently. She wasn't sure if she felt grateful or angry about that. If she wasn't safe, if she was a monster destined to destroy the entire world, shouldn't they stay away? Shouldn't they kill her?
"No." Dr. Strange suddenly gripped her shoulders firmly, his bright blue eyes fierce. "You are not a monster, Wanda, and none of us are giving up on you."
Wanda's eyes overflowed, and she was startled when Dr. Strange pulled her into a tight hug. His cape seemed to wrap gently around her as well, and she was surprised that it didn't cause her to panic. It was…nice. He smelled like tea and old books and it was such a fitting scent that a tiny spark of amusement cut through her sorrow.
The cape suddenly moved on its own to gently wipe at her face, and she startled. Dr. Strange released her, batting the cape away.
"Sorry." He sounded slightly exasperated. "The Cloak of Levitation has taken a liking to you, and it's oddly maternal about those it cares for."
Wanda stared at the cloak as it dodged Dr. Strange's hands and a surprised smile curled across her lips. One side of the cloak threw itself over Dr. Strange's eyes and while he was distracted, attempting to peel it off, the other side reached up and gently wiped her wet cheeks again.
"Thank you." She murmured, oddly touched.
Dr. Strange finally freed himself, looking more ruffled than she'd ever seen. He scowled, smoothing his hair back into place. Wanda covered her mouth with a hand, attempting to hide her amusement.
"Behave yourself." Dr. Strange said sternly to the cloak, but Wanda could see the glint of mirth in his eyes.
The cloak settled innocently around his shoulders again and he shook his head in fake irritation.
"Well, I think we've done more than enough for one day." He said with a slight smile. "I believe lunch is ready back at the farmhouse. Are you ready to return?"
Wanda nodded and they both got to their feet, brushing bits of grass and dirt from their knees. Dr. Strange opened another glowing orange portal and they both stepped through. James was still standing on the porch, leaning on the railing and watching the field like he was waiting for them. Wanda's heart felt like it skipped slightly at the sight of him, a smile breaking across her face. He grinned back.
"Thank you." She said quietly to Dr. Strange as they walked back towards the house. She knew she wouldn't be able to adequately describe how grateful she really was, but she hoped he could sense her sincerity. "For helping me."
He smiled warmly. "You're welcome, Wanda."
As they approached the house, James came down the steps and wrapped her in a hug. She tilted her head up to smile at him. His eyes were scanning her carefully, noting the tear tracks on her face. His human hand came up to cradle her cheek.
"You ok?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah." She whispered, and despite everything, it wasn't a lie.
He gave her his sunshine smile, and kept his metal arm around her waist as they walked back up the steps. Inside Sam was making lunch and Tony was hovering in the kitchen getting in the way. Clint was throwing darts at a small dart board, but he stopped as they walked in. James didn't remove his arm and she saw Clint take note of the protective way he was holding her. She braced herself, wondering if he was going to comment on it.
"Hey sweetheart." Clint said with a smile. "You hungry?"
Wanda smiled back, feeling another surge of gratitude that made her eyes damp again.
"I hope you are cause this is gonna be the best sandwich you've ever had." Sam called from the kitchen, turning and almost running directly into Tony. "Jesus, man, will you get out of the way?!"
"I want to watch." Tony whined.
"Then watch from over there!" Sam glared, pointing at the dining table with a spatula.
James chuckled and Wanda leaned into his side, smiling at the chaos. She wished Pietro could be here. He would have fit right in. Something nudged her free hand and she glanced down to see the cloak gently brushing her fingers. She smiled and glanced up at Dr. Strange who dramatically rolled his eyes, but a small smile was pulling at one side of his face.
"You staying for lunch, Dr. Strange?" Sam called.
"As it happens, I love a patty melt." Dr. Strange said, surprising Wanda.
"Good answer!" Sam said enthusiastically, turning back to the stove.
"I didn't know the Sorcerer Supreme liked diner food." Tony remarked, standing directly in front of the cabinet Sam was trying to open.
"Stark, I swear, if you don't get out of this kitchen you're on dish duty." Sam said.
Wanda slid her arm around James' waist and squeezed him gently. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then laughed at Sam threatening Tony with the spatula who was in turn threatening to sue him for physical and emotional damages. The energy of the room practically sparkled with humor and love. This was a family. This was her family. People who knew what she was and what she was capable of and stayed.
She wasn't sure how she got so lucky, but she would never take them for granted.