Ch 5- Lay Down With Me

"I hope you're not, not frightened." He said, continuing to weave his fingers into her chemise and corset.

Elsie gasped, feeling his soft, wide fingers brush her bare skin for the first time. She hoped he wouldn't find her wanton.

"A little apprehensive, not frightened." She bit her lip and looked back at him in such a way that he thought she was lying.

It was then that Carson came to the realization that she might be one of those girls. He'd heard of them before and always found it surprising. Elsie was smart, it was one of the reasons he'd fallen in love, and it would be a shock to him altogether if she turned out to be one of those women who'd not been taught the ways of life. In that moment he decided to be frank with her, to test the waters.

"Mrs. Carson you've no need to fear me, or to fear this. I will love you; I will push you, but not break you. Y-you know when we do this you might get… well you might be with child, perhaps maybe even right away…"

The idea scared him, that there could be a child just minutes from then and they wouldn't know it for several month's time. Elsie flinched but said nothing, feeling his fingers intrude further into the confines of the garment and run across her bare rib very slowly.

"Some girls…. Some girls their mothers don't tell them much about what men and wives do… about where…"

"I know where babies come from Mr. Carson." She said, pausing for a moment. "And I should like to have yours."

He looked back at her, his eyes wide. He couldn't believe she was so forward. Maybe she was too young…but even if she was it was done now. His heart was forever committed and they were about to be one.

She smiled. "I'll be ready for it now, nine months from now or whenever it happens: I would love to have your child Mr. Carson."

He smiled brightly at her words, deeply touched by the idea that she was ready now to carry his child, to make that kind of commitment to him. "Oh Elsie you would?" He almost gasped.

"Yes. I would love to have your child."

Elsie hadn't wanted a hoard of children, it'd been a reason she'd left Scotland to pursue a life in service. But something about Charlie changed her mind and when she looked into his eyes she found she couldn't imagine anything more for her life than lovingly raising his children. The idea brought fullness to her heart and the happiest tears to his eyes and in an instant she knew it was right.

'Finally.' He thought. 'A woman who loves me as I love her.'

"So you know… you now what will happen? What we're about to…"

"I don't know… I don't know everything." She confided, swallowing hard. She knew far less than she cared to admit.

"Well what don't you know?" He inquired.

Elsie paused, unsure of what to say. She loved him, but felt embarrassed to speak of such intimate things. 'He is your husband.' She considered. 'All will be revealed within the coming minutes anyway…' She took a shallow breath. 'My husband.' She considered: she couldn't believe it.

All this time he continued to weave is hand through the chemise and corset in one little spot, his palm now making contact with the smooth, silky skin on the side of her belly. Elise was exhilarated. If it felt this way for him to touch just one little part of her how would the rest of it feel?

"I don't…" She paused, trembling when he touched her.

She didn't know how to say it in the first place and the more he continued on the more she found herself at a total loss for words. He laid his palm flat, doing his best to soothe her as she continued. He'd yet to disrobe and here she was being slowly undressed. It made her feel silly, embarrassed even… but there was something exhilarating about it.

"I'm unsure what I don't know Mr. Carson, only that I know I don't know it." She almost gasped, not understanding the stirring she felt inside as he ran his hand along her middle.

He nodded, understanding the feeling himself. He hadn't known what he thought he did before his first time with a woman and it had been a bit difficult to adjust to, overwhelming in fact. Almost everything he hadn't known had been sensory. He didn't know that he would feel the things he did, or that such feelings even existed. Moreover, he'd known how things worked in theory but not practice. The whole affair was messier than he'd thought before he tried it. It was more intimate than he'd been told and far more pleasurable than he could've ever imagined. Carson looked back at his young wife, noting she was still afraid. And while part of him ached to soothe her, another longed to teach her.

"I will teach you to please me my Mrs. Carson." He told her plainly.

"Oh?" She whispered breathlessly as he trailed his fingers down her side.

"In all the ways a wife should please a man." He whispered.

Within another instant he could no longer resist and found himself sinking into her lips, pursuing her in a way she found she had to yield to. When he finished the kiss he stood and took her hands lifting her up, the room dark now save the glow of the fire. He pulled her tight to him and kissed her again, cradling her as gently as he could, not loosing sight of his already building desire.

"I love you so tremendously, Mrs. Carson." He whispered, sweetly kissing her hand. The young woman looked up at him, entranced and shaking within his embrace. "Are you ready for me to make you my wife?"

She nodded simply, running her shaking hands up his chest.

"In that case." He said. "It's time for your lessons, Mrs. Carson."

Elsie felt her heart pick up with rapid speed as he pulled her back into him and began to kiss her once more, kneading her sides softly as he continued his work loosening the ties of her chemise and corset. She tilted her head, getting lost in the kiss as she felt the garments come loose and finally slip off in his hands. Elsie blushed, pulling away and covering her breasts once her undergarments had slipped off. He distracted her from her next move by kissing her once more and once he'd pulled away, she was amazed to find his shirt gone, exposing his massive, strong chest.

He took her hand again, seeing the trepidation and awe in her eyes, which he knew would only get more intense as the night went on. She scurried to cover herself again, not allowing him a glimpse of her when he grabbed her hand, kissing it gently.

"Don't be afraid, my love." He soothed. "I promise it will be very lovely all our lives together."

Elsie's modesty made him think of Alice, who'd been just the opposite: kind but so eager be with him. He'd been very young and eager himself at the time, but in hindsight he saw her as fast. In that moment he started to wonder just how many there'd been before him. The thought made him ache until he lie his eyes on the sweetest of women his shy, innocent Elsie whose trust it seemed, he was going to have to win.

He approached her again, taking the elbows of her crossed arms in his hands as he started to kiss her. He couldn't say how badly he wanted to move them, to take her hands from her chest by force, but he knew he needed to put her comfort first, even before her lessons. She would trust him in time and soon there would be nothing kept from one another.

Elsie's heart leapt when she felt him lace his fingers between the top of her slip and her back. She thought she'd be sick once it simply dropped at his command.

"Don't hold back my darling." He whispered, cupping her cheeks in his hands as he kissed her. "I want to live a life without secrets between us."

He wanted to go faster but remembered her nervousness and appreciated how much more satisfying it would be to relish every precious moment spent with her. Every bit of passion, of newness, of burgeoning oneness… Carson reconciled himself to the fact that he was wanton and might seem so in her eyes. That would be all right with him if it meant he'd also seem formidable, confident… and all together lovely in them too. She took one of her hands and laid it on his bare chest, pressing his hand over it and held it there on his bare skin. She took a deep breath, shaking a little bit as she felt his heart thud wildly under her palm. It was her first time touching him.

"Don't be afraid." He whispered, leaning in to kiss her once more.

He let go of her hands and kissed her deeply, feeling her meld into his lips. In a way he couldn't believe he had to take such tiny baby steps with her, but in another, he found the idea enticed him somewhat. She shakily let go of her firm hold on her breasts and reached up, running both her hands along his chest.

"Elsie." He tilted his head, whispering into her mouth.

She sighed, feeling her chest finally brush his, skin on skin and wrapped her arms around his neck for the first time, deepening the kiss on her own accord. She wanted to jump: a spark running through her at the brush of their skin.

"My Charlie." She whispered, her breath on his lips. She moaned, deeply confused as he started to kiss her down the line of her jaw and down her neck.

"Charlie…" She gulped, running her fingers through his hair.

Her breath caught in her throat and she found herself frantic and confused when his lips and hands made contact with the supple skin on her breasts, inching down, down, down … Her heart began to pound in fear as he went to work, tracing his tongue over her breasts and finally her nipple. She was scared to death but moaned and pulled his hair as he suckled and nibbled away. Elsie didn't know all that much about sex and while she'd overheard that men liked breasts, had had no idea that this (whatever it was) was a thing. While very afraid, and a bit embarrassed she came within a few seconds time to realize that it must be alright: it felt so tremendously, unspeakably good.

Suddenly and regrettably, she felt him move his head and kiss all the way back up to her lips, retracing the steps he'd just taken before wrapping his arms around her and placing his forehead against hers. She shivered under his touch and he found himself captivated with the timidity she displayed… but there would be no more moves made to comfort her: not before the act itself…. He would get the hard part over with and move on with her lessons.

Elsie gulped as she felt him slide the tips of his fingers into the band of her knickers and tug them off. Her heart began to race faster than she could fathom when she realized she was fully nude.

"Here, let me look at you." He whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

Elsie gulped as he took her hands in his own, squeezing them lovingly as he stood back from her. He took a moment and just stood and stared, his eyes wide. She couldn't look at him and instead found herself staring at the floor, her eyes downcast. The modest young woman was tremendously embarrassed and couldn't bear to be such a fool in his eyes.

"Wow." He whispered and she looked up. "You're so… well you're so beautiful."

She didn't realize it, but she took his breath away. Carson thought back to the way it'd been with Alice… he'd thought her beautiful too, but now that he had Elsie here, like this… he didn't think he'd ever seen anything more gorgeous in all his life.

He shook his head, forgetting himself for a moment before pulling her close to him and giving her a kiss.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she shook in his arms. He reached up and wiped away the tear with the back of his thumb before placing his giant hand on her tummy and pushing her onto the bed and then onto her back. She said nothing but quickly sat up, hugging herself again so as to cover up as much as possible.

Elsie gulped, finding she wasn't as ready for all of this as she'd thought. Her mind rushed. She wasn't ready to be a wife: for this to be her duty, to be with a man in this way. She'd said she knew all about the ways of a man and wife… about how babies were made, but the truth was she'd lied to him. She had her ideas but her mother had never really told her what to expect and she was terrified about what was about to happen… whatever it was. She wanted to run, but with one graze of Charlie's skin across hers she betrayed herself to him. She took a deep breath, everything in her urging her to give herself fully to him.

'He's yours and you're his now lass.' Something inside whispered. 'He loves you and you love him, now what could be more wonderful than all that?'

Elsie tensed up as he leaned down to kiss her, noting that something was happening she couldn't see. Finally, when he pulled away a little she noted that he'd taken his trousers down finally. Very suddenly, she found herself wanting to go back, now more afraid of this than anything else they'd done.

She had been about ready to ask him to stop when with one swift motion he finally slipped off his knickers. Elsie supposed she really did live in a sack. She liked to pretend that she didn't, that she was knowledgeable about the world but knew now she'd just been fooling herself.

'What in the hell is that?' She asked herself. 'And how would it ever fit inside of me…?'

Charlie took his wife's breath away when he leaned down, kissing her fully on the lips, trying his best to distract her from the coming proceedings, knowing she had to be scared. She clutched the sheets beneath her as she scooted back slowly toward the headboard and he crawled onto the bed with her, the room so silent she could hear nothing save for the crackling of the fire and the trumpet-like thundering of her own heart.

Finally, she felt her husband place his hand gently behind her head as he kissed her. He ran his fingers through her hair as he laid her down, gently resting her head on the pillow, his own heart racing beyond what he'd ever thought it could. She resisted the urge to kick or hold back when he took her knees and pulled them apart, Elsie now feeling the need to throw up. She looked up toward the top of the bed, her eyes focused now on the white lace canopy as she felt her husband brush between her legs for the first time, his own eyes studying her carefully. She shuddered, clutching his shoulders, realizing she had just enough time left to say no.

Carson meanwhile nibbled on her neck. He felt like he was in paradise with the most beautiful girl in the world, and while in tune with her hesitancy, had no idea how afraid she really was. Instead of considering her fear, he focused now on making her his wife.

"I'm so sorry if it hurts my love." He whispered and she bristled, feeling the very tip of him slide into her. Hurt? What did he mean if it hurt? Oh… that was right. "I'm so sorry if it hurts." He soothed, whispering in her ear.

Elsie's heart pounded as she spread her legs wider and clutched the sheets below her, beginning to panic at the reminder that this would be painful.

"Don't be so nervous my sweetheart." He soothed, realizing that perhaps he shouldn't have warned her about the possibility of pain. "It'll make it worse, just relax my Elspeth."

Elsie took a deep breath, inhaling sharply as she felt him slide against her a bit more, gently at first. She winced as she felt him pressing deeper, deeper, deeper until finally he hit a limit and she moaned in pain. Elsie was terrified, having not realized just how much this would hurt. He pulled out swiftly almost all the way, leaving her relieved and a little confused. No sooner had he left her to wonder than she felt him slide all the way back inside with a force that left her in searing agony.

"Ahhhh!" She cried out, feeling like she'd been ripped open from the inside.

Elsie started to cry as she clutched his back, nails into skin, tears pouring down her cheeks. She clung to him wanting to confess that it hurt so much, but she refrained.

'Oh good lord!' She thought. 'What've I gotten myself into… it can't hurt this much every time?!' She thought.

He stayed that way for a moment, holding her as she cried and adjusted to the feeling of feeling incredibly, painfully full. His heart dropped and he held her tight as she cried, kissing her hair and doing the best to wipe all her tears away. He felt terrible about the fact that this hurt, especially since she felt so great he thought he might die. In the midst of her agony, he finally felt home. He could feel her writing in pain under him, but he could also feel her body start to totally give in to his…

"It's over, worst is over my darling." He whispered, kissing her neck and just resting there for a moment, giving her time to adjust to him.

"Charlie…" She cried, kissing his neck in reply as the pain started to fade and the first hint of pleasure started to build within her. "Charlie, my Charlie…."

"That's right my beautiful wife. Give in… this will be the good part…"

Elsie looked up at him and into his eyes as leaned down to kiss her lips, finally beginning to move within her and she gasped aloud. Her uncertainty faded away as she melted into his hands like the most easily pliable dough. He moaned as his skin faded into hers and as they became one flesh something deep inside their souls calmed and would be put to rest for all of time.

…..

Elsie sighed, her head against Charlie's chest, as they lay wrapped up in blankets in front of the fire. She couldn't believe that it was done now, that she was all right and more in love with this man than ever before. She sighed, both of them exhausted from the act done on repeat over the course of several hours. The blood had dried, the pain had faded into pleasure but she still hadn't known what it was that caused her to melt like butter in his nimble hands. Whatever it was, the mystery of life was no longer a thing of imagination to her and something inside her felt not just whole, but one with him.

'We're a we now.' She thought as he held her close, playing with her hand.

She kissed his chest, everything they'd just done consuming her even now: filling her heart and her head. She couldn't say what had been the most exhilarating or surprising aspect of their love making and had no concept of the fact that she was still going to be making many new discoveries in this way.

Elsie was fascinated though, about how her hesitancy had mostly faded away, quickly replaced with eagerness she still didn't understand. She'd cried out breathlessly, her mind almost spinning in expectation of what was to come. Something about his touch enthralled her, forcing her to submit to him in ways she hadn't known were possible.

"I'm so glad you still love me." He said, tears in his eyes, holding her tight to his chest.

"Oh Mr. Carson…. Indeed I do love you." She said, spellbound by him. "And I'm really your wife now." She whispered. "For now and forever."

…..

"Mmmm." She moaned, her eyes fluttering open as she stirred.

Elsie woke surprised, having forgotten in sleep what transpired the previous night. She sighed, sinking further into his arms, enjoying the feeling of being skin to skin with him, wrapped in his strong but loving embrace. She turned around in her sleeping husband's arms, his firm grip on her remaining intact. Elsie was overwhelmed in the best of ways: she was married and so in love. She couldn't believe she was there all-alone with him, tucked away in a stolen corner of the universe. Elsie wondered how many more stolen corners there would be, and saw this already as a rare treat. She didn't know what they would do yet, but assumed the marriage would be a secret, at least for at time.

She smiled at him, watching him snore peacefully and placed a kiss, and then another on the center of his chest causing him to grip her tighter around her middle. He sighed peacefully, continuing to sleep as she leaned up and kissed his lips, trying to wake him. Carson stirred, grumbling low as his eyes met the first light of day and the soft smile of his bride in his arms.

"Wonderful first morning, Mrs. Carson." His voice rumbled low, but his heart sighed deeply.

"Wonderful first morning, Mr. Carson." She blushed leaning up to kiss him again, her feet intertwining gently with his legs as she melted into his embrace and he kissed the tip of her nose very gently.

"Have I told you how happy I am you came away with me?" He asked, tears in his eyes.

"No. But I will be sure to tell you how happy I am for the rest of our days." She whispered, nuzzling him softly.

He chuckled warmly, taking her back in his embrace and rolling over on top of her. She giggled aloud as he brushed her lips with a gentle kiss.

"Oh how I love thee my beautiful bride." He paused, searching her bright sparkling blue eyes as they gazed up at him in wonderment.

His heart skipped a beat, the curve of her lips and the light in her eyes were enough on their own to steal his heart away and they had, but now, the next morning, after a first, passionate night spent alone together, he couldn't even calculate how he felt about her, or how deep his love had grown. He couldn't then fathom it and would never be able to. His soul sighed under the weight of what she meant to him and he continued, speaking from the heart.

"And how I promise to make you happy for the rest of our days."