15. Precipice
Nellie was whining.
She kept trying to get to Charlie, to lick his face, but Dawson kept pulling her back.
It was becoming almost impossible for Nick to discern Charlie's ragged heartbeat when his own was pounding so loudly in his ears.
He didn't know how long he knelt there. All he knew was the slick red blood that now coated his hands to his wrists. The lake water had turned a lot of it pink and streaky but more was slipping between his fingers at an alarming rate.
Charlie. Charlie. Charlie.
Suddenly, a pair of hands wrapped around Nick's wrists and someone was pulling him away.
"No. I have to - I have to keep pressure…"
At some point an ambulance had arrived and the hands around his wrists belonged to one of the paramedics. They were speaking calmly but firmly to him. He could hear the words but their meaning was being lost on the way to his brain.
Then Charlie was being lifted onto a stretcher and Nick was on his feet.
Distantly, Dawson was shouting something at him. Something about Nellie. Something about meeting him at the hospital.
Nick didn't care. He didn't care to see that woman ever again.
No one stopped him climbing into the ambulance after Charlie. He was glad no one tried.
Someone pushed him into a seat and fastened a seat belt around him. A blanket was draped over his shoulders.
The ambulance started to move. It suddenly became clear to him that the woman speaking to him was waiting for an answer.
"Sir? Are you hurt?"
"Charlie…"
The other two paramedics were a flurry of activity around the stretcher where Charlie lay.
Charlie. Charlie. Charlie.
Nick tugged at the seatbelt buckle and made to move toward him.
"Please stay in your seat, sir. Your friend is in safe hands, I assure you -"
"Boyfriend. He's my boyfriend."
"Okay," said the paramedic calmly. She was scribbling something on a clipboard. "Can you tell me his full name and date of birth?"
Nick heard himself speak as if it was someone else. "Charles Francis Spring. 27th April 1995."
"Blood type?"
"I don't know."
"Contact number? For a parent or guardian?"
"I don't know."
"That's okay. Don't worry -"
But Nick was no longer paying attention. The tiniest noise, a shift of breath - Charlie's head moved a fraction of an inch. "Nick…"
Nick unclipped the seat belt before he knew what he was doing. The paramedic with the clipboard was there immediately, a firm hand against his chest, preventing him from moving any further.
"Charlie! I'm here!"
Nick heard Charlie gasp in pain. The smallness of his voice broke Nick's heart into pieces. "Nick?"
"Let me go to him," Nick gasped. "Please?"
One of the paramedics spoke calmly to Charlie. "Your friend is right here, okay. You need to relax as much as you can. You need to conserve your energy -"
Charlie mumbled something unintelligible. Nick strained his ears, craning as far around the woman pinning him in place as he could.
He saw Charlie's face - he had passed out again. But it only lasted a few moments. When he opened his eyes again, Nick saw the fear in them as well as the pain. He had never seen Charlie so scared before. Ever.
"His heart rate is increasing."
"He's panicking," said the clipboard lady. "Let him see his friend."
The second she let go, Nick got to his feet and was at Charlie's side. The terrified blue eyes were hazy with pain even as he saw Nick standing over him.
"Charlie - I'm here, baby. You're gonna be okay, my love. I know it hurts. But you have to be strong, okay? I know you are. You can do this, Charlie. Please -"
Charlie's lips moved minutely as he managed one word. He slipped out of consciousness again and Nick was pushed back into his seat and Nick realised what Charlie had said.
"Boyfriend."
It felt like both seconds and hours before the ambulance came to a stop and the doors were being opened.
The morning was still bright and sunny but all that seemed to be happening on another planet now. A planet where Nick Nelson was not hurrying desperately in the wake of his boyfriend who was being pushed through the hospital doors and along a maze of corridors, while a team of paramedics and surgeons exchanged rapid information that would keep him alive.
Down another corridor, through some doors.
More people. More noise.
That horrible clinical smell.
As they hurtled through another set of doors, Charlie opened his eyes again. Nick saw the fear and panic and confusion as his blue eyes darted around, seeing nothing but white coats, masked faces and stainless steel.
"Nick?"
It was the loudest sound he had made thus far.
The stretcher came to a stop but there was still a whirlwind of activity around them. Nick managed to push his way through the crowd.
He needed Charlie to know he was still here. He had not abandoned him. He would never abandon him.
One second, their eyes met.
The next: "I'm here."
Three. Someone grabbed Nick by the shoulders and was pulling him away. Again.
Back through two sets of doors, down a corridor, then through a third set. The nurse deposited him in a wider, main corridor.
Nick supposed she must have said something to him but he didn't hear it.
All he heard was the deafening snap of the doors as they shut behind her.
He stared at them for an immeasurable moment.
He took a shaky breath.
Then another.
The third hitched in his throat.
The fourth got lost in the dry sob which shook from his core into the bright, deserted corridor.
His feet took several steps backward, until he hit a wall.
His breaths came laboured and sharp now, but his eyes were dry.
Nick had no idea how much time passed as he stood there. He hit his head against the wall behind him, but the dull pain did nothing to damper the damage in his chest.
And nothing compared to the damage in Charlie's chest.
"Charles Spring?" came a voice. "Are you here for Charles Spring?"
A nurse had appeared through the doors. A different one from before, Nick thought, but he wasn't sure.
"Yes." His voice still sounded shaky and foreign to his own ears. "Is he -?"
"Are you family?"
"He's my boyfriend." Another dry sob. "Please, just tell me -"
"Charles has had some scans. They're taking him into surgery as we speak."
"Is he going to be okay?"
The nurse looked at him calmly but in that professional, unattached way. "We're doing everything we can."
Whatever she said next was just another blur to Nick, even as something squishy and plasticy was pushed into his arms.
The nurse left and Nick was alone again.
His knees gave out and he sat against the wall, staring at the objects in his hands. A clear plastic bag of clothes. He realised with a jolt that they were Charlie's. Or at least the clothes he had been wearing. The clothes Nick had so enthusiastically picked out for him that morning. He could see the brown of his jacket bundled between the rest.
Resting on the top of the bag, a streak of red splashed across them, waterlogged and turning faintly pink, were Charlie's white converse.
"There you are. I've been looking for you all over the place."
Nick looked up. It was Dawson.
As she knelt in front of him, Nick felt the blur shift and dissipate.
Officer Dawson reached out a comforting hand toward Nick's knee and Nick recoiled.
"Don't touch me."
It came out like a growl.
He couldn't stand the sympathy in the woman's eyes. He had to get away from her. He got to his feet, clutching the bag and the shoes to his chest, and started to pace furiously.
"Hey, I'm sorry, Nick, I really am -"
"Get away from me!" He shoved her away, harder than he had meant to but didn't feel in the least bit sorry about it. He was sobbing but still, no tears were coming out. "This is your fault! You were meant to keep us safe!"
"Officer Dawson!"
Helen appeared from down the corridor. She strode toward them quickly.
Nick stood in the middle of the corridor, chest heaving, shoulders shaking. He had thought he had wanted company but now he just wished everyone would leave him alone. There was only one person he wanted to see right now and -
"Leave the poor boy alone," said Helen. "Is there any news? Is he going to be alright?"
"I don't know," Nick gasped. "Surgery."
"Take some deep breaths. I'm sure everything will be okay."
Helen reached to put a hand on Nick's shoulder. He flinched away again. He tried to take some deep breaths but they only got stuck between the dry sobs.
"I don't know how he found us," said Dawson hurriedly. "I didn't compromise our position, I swear."
"Well, someone must have." Helen looked back at Nick. "Are you absolutely certain you told no one else about the witness protection?"
"No one but Charlie, I swear."
"And Charlie never told anyone?"
"Of course not. He wouldn't do that."
There was a fierce coldness in Helen's eyes which Nick was not accustomed to. She shook her head in disbelief.
"Look, I've been doing this long enough to know -"
"Chief…" Dawson said warningly.
"What?" Helen snapped. "There's been a security breach, Nick. The perpetrator we've been looking for this whole time just shot one of our witnesses, right under our noses! So, whatever you're hiding from me. I need you to tell me now, okay?"
Nick stared at her. He couldn't believe what she was accusing him of.
"Nick! Please -"
"What the actual fuck?" He gripped the bag in his hands so tightly his knuckles turned white. "You're talking about the man who shot Charlie. You know, the boy who meant so little to you - who you decided was not worth protecting - who is literally the best person in the world - who might - d-die -" He gasped for air. "Why would I hide anything that would stop you from finding the man who did this?" Nick clamped a hand over his mouth to muffle the strangled sob which had erupted louder than the others. "And why can't I fucking cry?"
At some point he had dropped the bundle in his arms and his hands were now fisted in his own hair. His eyes were screwed up. He was trapped and hopeless and angry and so very scared.
"Nick!" came a small, cheerful voice.
"Fucking leave me alone!"
He looked up, dropped his hands from his hair to fall limply at his sides. His eyes widened as he saw the group of people standing at the other end of the corridor. They were walking toward them.
Oliver Spring had been waving merrily at him but then his little face dropped in confused fear.
"I'm sorry…" But he didn't know if anyone heard him.
As soon as Jane and Julio saw Helen and Dawson they began bombarding them with questions and furious accusations. For once, Nick agreed with everything Jane Spring was shouting about. He had never seen Julio look so furious.
Nick stepped back away from the adults, feeling very much on the outside looking in and not entirely sure that was what he wanted. His foot hit something on the ground. He was appalled at himself for letting go of Charlie's things like that.
When he straightened up again, arms full, feeling slightly more grounded, he found Tori watching him. She was in her school uniform, as was Oliver, whose hand she was holding. Nick vaguely wondered what the time was.
Nick watched as Tori's face paled. She looked him over, eyes widening in horror. Her parents then turned to look at him as well, as if up until that point, they hadn't even realised he was there. The shouting stopped as everyone took in the sight of him.
Nick looked down at himself for the first time and understood immediately -
His once blue t-shirt was spattered with blood, his whole midsection was practically caked in it. The lake water had done little to wash it away. His bare legs below his shorts were grimy, speckled with dirt from the lake, he assumed. He suddenly registered the squishiness of the puddles in his shoes.
His hands were gloved with red.
"What happened?" Tori gasped.
Nick opened his mouth but could not form the words. He could feel Charlie's blood crusting under his fingernails.
"Is there news? There must be news!" Jane snapped. Nick flinched. "Tell us!"
"He - he had some scans… they said he's in surgery -"
"That's not enough!"
"Mum -"
"Jane -"
"Mummy, what's going on?"
"Surely they must have said if he was going to - whether he would be -" Jane sucked in a breath. She took a step toward Nick. "They must have some idea!"
For once, Nick could not blame her for yelling, but then Julio pulled her away from him and a nurse appeared.
All seven of them turned to her at once. She must have been very well trained because she did not falter under such desperate scrutiny.
Oliver was the first to speak. "Is Charlie really poorly?"
"You're all here for Charles Spring?" asked the nurse.
They all nodded. Even Jane seemed to have lost her voice. Nick kept his mouth clamped shut, thinking he might throw up if he opened it.
"Charles is still in surgery. Everything is going as expected so far but we have a little ways to go yet. I would like to invite his family into the office for a moment so we can go over a few things. Explain everything in clearer detail for you. I know you all must be incredibly worried. If you'd like to follow me."
The nurse held one of the double doors open as the Springs filed through. Nick went to follow them but found his way barred by a firm arm.
"You heard her," said Jane, eyes aflame. "She wants to talk to his family. And give me that -"
"No!" Nick clung tighter to the bundle and the shoes as Jane tried to wrestle them away from him. "Please don't -"
"Mrs Spring!" Helen appeared at Nick's side. She placed a firm hand over the bag of clothes and shot Jane a look. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to take these. My team and I need to look over them. They could likely be useful evidence for us finding the man who shot your son."
Jane glared for a moment. She removed her hands and gripped them instead around herself. She shuddered against a sudden chill, a muffled noise escaped her lips and then she was gone.
The white double doors closed once again but Nick didn't really see them this time.
"I'm really sorry but I am going to have to take these off you now, Nick."
"Fine…"
He refused to look either Helen or Dawson in the eye as he surrendered over the last thing physically grounding him. One or both of them spoke to him but the blur was back and all Nick managed to do was find the wall again. He slumped down against it and waited.
He dug his palms so hard against his eyes he saw stars.
He didn't want to open his eyes again until Charlie was there to tell him he could. Charlie would kneel before him and chide Nick for hurting his eyes and gently pull his hands away and wrap him in his arms and stroke his hair and tell him everything would be okay.
And there would be no hole in his chest.
Nick allowed himself to sit there in his daydream, knees drawn up to his chest, head buried in his arms, blocking out this waking nightmare.
He didn't flinch when a presence crouched in front of him.
"Charlie…?"
It was not Charlie. But it was maybe the second-best option.
"Oh, baby, your hands," Sarah Nelson gasped. "I can't believe they've left you alone like this. You're not hurt, are you? Not physically?"
"Not my blood," he gasped and then she hugged him and he clung to her.
"Nicky, you're trembling. They told me about the lake. You're still soaked. You must be freezing. Do you not have a jacket with you?"
Nick shook his head. "Gave it t-to… Charlie."
Sarah looked up at him and smiled sadly. "Of course you did."
His mum swept his damp fringe away from his eyes. He realised there was a high possibility that there was blood in his hair too, he had been wringing at it after all.
"Did - did they tell you what happened?"
Sarah nodded grimly. "Someone shot him. Helen is sure it's the man from the cabin. They think he was hiding in the woods nearby. I'm guessing Helen and I are not the only people who have some choice words for that Officer Dawson."
Nick leant his head against his mum's shoulder and breathed.
"I'm so sorry this was allowed to happen to you both, Nicky. Is there any news about - about Charlie?"
"They won't tell me anything because I'm not family." Nick screwed up his eyes tight again. "And I want to cry my eyes out but I can't. Why can't I cry?"
Even as he asked the question his voice broke in another useless, dry sob.
"Oh, baby, you can cry as much as you want to."
"But I fucking can't."
Sarah frowned in deep concern. She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. Nick searched her face for any sign of an answer. Something.
She took a breath.
"I think at the moment maybe you're on a kind of precipice - waiting for news that is neither good nor bad yet. Right now there is no answer and you're just waiting for everything to topple either way. And when it does -"
Nick swallowed thickly. He shivered. Absent-mindedly he scratched at the drying blood on his wrists.
"Let's find the loos, shall we?" Sarah looked around. "We need to wash those hands."
"No," said Nick. "I need to stay here and wait."
"Do you not want to sit in a chair at least? You can't be very comfortable down here."
Nick blinked in surprise. He hadn't realised he was sitting on the floor not two metres away from two rows of chairs facing each other, all of which were vacant.
He shook his head and continued to scratch at the blood. It flaked off in clumps.
Charlie's. Charlie's blood.
Sarah settled herself down beside him and leaned back against the wall as she pulled her handbag onto her lap. She rummaged inside it, then pulled out a packet of wet wipes. Nick sat there patiently as his mum gently wiped his hands and forearms clean.
"Did they get Nellie home?"
"Oh, yes. Tony brought her home. She's fine."
"That's good."
A little while later, those mysteriously appearing plastic chairs became occupied by the Spring family. None of them spoke.
Nick wanted to badger them with question after question but the other half, the petrified sixteen-year-old part of him, didn't want to know. If they had any concrete news the nurse would have said so before she had abandoned them again.
Oliver caught Nick's eye for a moment. He looked like he wanted to get up and sit with him and Sarah on the floor but Jane kept pulling him away. Tori scrolled through her phone but her eyes were still and glassy, not really paying the screen any attention.
"What's the time?" Nick breathed.
Sarah looked at her watch. "Quarter past nine."
"I thought it must be later."
At twenty-five past, the nurse returned. The Springs and Nelsons all looked up expectantly. Julio had been crying, Nick noticed. Unfair, he thought.
Then Sarah led him by the hand to sit in the chairs opposite the four Springs and the nurse sat beside them, clipboard at the ready. Her expression was unreadable.
"Charles is out of surgery." The nurse went on to explain a long list of Charlie's injuries, using big complicated medical words Nick did not understand. Then finally, at their blank faces, she smiled kindly and said, "Everything went very well. There were no complications. He is looking at up to two weeks of recovery time but, if there are no major, unexpected complications, he will make a full recovery."
The tension shifted in the corridor as they all exhaled collectively.
"Charlie's going to be okay?" Oliver asked quietly. He was clinging to his dad's jacket with one hand and his sister's hand with the other.
The nurse smiled at him. "Your brother is going to be okay."
"Hooray!" Oliver cheered. He raised his little hands in the air, looking around at the grown-ups as if expecting them to all be doing the same.
Julio grinned at him.
Nick choked out a laugh. It quickly turned into a shuddering breath which turned into a muffled sob as he buried his face in his hands.
His mum had been right. He could feel the tears, finally, dripping between his fingers.
"Can we see him?" Jane asked.
"He's been taken to the ICU. He is still heavily sedated but you may see him now if you wish. Family first, as always."
Oliver led the way enthusiastically after the nurse, dragging Tori along by the hand. Nick made to get up but was unsurprised when Jane shot him a glare. Nick's head was too muffled and his legs too unsteady for him to do anything other than flop back down in his chair.
Sarah rubbed his back in soothing circles. For a moment, before the doors snapped shut again, she could have sworn she saw a flicker of guilt in Jane's eyes.
Nick was glad not many people seemed to use the corridor they were sitting in. He didn't much fancy anyone witnessing his loud, ugly crying. Even having his mum there to hear it was a bit much. He desperately wanted to find a small, private room to curl up in and just let it all out but he needed to stay where he was.
He needed to be there for Charlie.
He would always be there for Charlie. Jane could only push him so far out. She would not get rid of him that easily.
When his sobs had finally died down and his breathing settled, Sarah left him with a pack of tissues from her bag and left to find them something to drink.
Nick shifted uncomfortably in the plastic chair and fixed his eyes on the white double doors which had been taunting him all morning. He imagined himself standing up and pushing himself through them, finding Charlie's room on his own, Jane's wrath be damned. But he knew Charlie's relationship with his mum was a slippery slope and Nick didn't want to make it worse by disobeying her - especially when she herself must be feeling as fragile and scared as he was.
No. He would sit here and wait it out. When Charlie woke up, he would ask for him. And then Jane couldn't refuse.
Suddenly, one of the double doors opened a crack and a small, dark-haired figure darted out. Oliver Spring ran out into the corridor, tears streaming down his face, eyes flicking left and right, little hands fluttering haphazardly at his sides. He took in the strange, bright, mostly empty corridor and sniffled louder.
Oliver turned blindly to the right, made to sprint in that direction, but Nick stepped in front of him. The little boy yelled and tried to duck past him but Nick crouched down so he could see his face.
"Olly. It's me. It's Nick."
Oliver's bottom lip trembled as he looked up into Nick's face and then he burst into a fresh wave of tears.
Nick let Oliver wrap his little arms around him as he lifted the child up and settled back down on the chair. Oliver continued to cry into Nick's chest, fists balled in his filthy t-shirt.
"Hey, shh…" Nick rubbed his back, trying to be patient. "Shh… Oliver, what is it?"
"Charlie…"
Nick's heart skipped a painful beat. "What -?"
"Oh thank God. There you are."
Tori had obviously followed after her brother. Her features relaxed as she saw them both there. As she sat down beside Nick, he noticed how very pale she was.
"What happened? Is Charlie -?"
"He…" Tori swallowed. "He has a lot of tubes and things coming out of him. I think they freaked Oliver out a bit." She stroked her brother's hair. Oliver turned his head to look at her, but kept his ear pressed against Nick. Tori exhaled. "I didn't like it much either, to be honest. There's… there's quite a big… tube… down his throat. They said it was helping him breathe but…"
"A monster," Oliver sniffled. "Looked like a monster."
"No, Olly," said Tori. "It - it might have looked a little scary but I promise it's a nice monster. It's helping Charlie get better."
"What's the monster called?" Oliver lifted his head, tears having dried up.
Tori exchanged a look with Nick. "Um…" she began slowly.
She noticed the fresh tears in Nick's eyes. They were falling thick and fast once again. Oliver looked up at him with big, innocent eyes.
"Don't be scared, Nick," he whispered loudly, leaning in close to his ear. "Tubey is a nice monster."
"Yeah." Nick nodded but his chin wobbled and more tears came.
Oliver wrapped his arms around him again and Nick only cried harder as the little boy hugged him. Tori leant her head against Nick's shoulder, her own tears falling silently.
Sarah rounded the corner, holding two paper cups of tea. She stopped for a moment when the three sad figures came into view. Her son's shoulders were shaking again but he was no longer alone.
Tori looked up at Sarah's approach. Nick lifted his forehead from Oliver's hair.
"Here you go, dears," she said, handing one cup to Nick. She held the other out to Tori. The girl hesitated awkwardly but then took it gratefully when Sarah persisted. "Don't worry, dear. I doubt it's very nice anyway. It's from a machine."
Nick's hands were shaking so much that Tori had to take his cup from him almost at once.
"Hi, Sarah!" said Oliver. His voice was still a little watery but much more cheerful.
"Hello there. Would you like something to drink?"
"Yes, please."
"Alright, then. I'll be back in a bit. Maybe I'll see if I can find us some chocolate."
Oliver practically squealed in delight. He watched Sarah leave again, the deepest of admiration shining in his eyes.
"Hm," said Tori. "Better not let mum hear about that… she already thinks she's losing one son to the maternal goddess that is Sarah Nelson. Now she's bribing us with sugar. I think I might fall next."
"Will you be okay now?" Oliver patted Nick's soggy cheek surprisingly delicately for a six-year-old.
Nick gave him a watery smile. His innocent cheer was infectious. "I'll be fine. We have to put our trust in Tubey and his friends now, right?"
"Is Tubey male?" Tori deadpanned.
"Err… I dunno…"
Oliver patted Nick's chest clumsily. "Don't worry. Tubey is only borrowing Charlie's mouth for a bit. It'll be free again soon."
Tori snorted. "Oliver!"
Nick blushed but he laughed too. It felt a little foreign and weird but he laughed.
"Because they're always kissing!" Oliver giggled. "What did you think I meant? Tell me! What's so funny?"
"Nothing, Oliver, nothing," said Tori. She turned to glare at Nick. "And it had better be nothing, Nicholas."
Nick abruptly stopped laughing. He flushed darker red and Tori buried her face in her hands.
"Ugh! No! I changed my mind! I don't want to know!"
Nick swallowed thickly, aware of the small child on his lap. "We haven't - gotten that far. We've talked about it but…" He was welling up again.
"I said I didn't want to know." But Tori's voice was softer this time.
"I don't care if he never wants me to touch him ever again. I just need him to live."
"He's going to," said Tori. "He's going to be okay."
"I-it's just hard to remember that when - when - I can't see him," Nick sobbed. "I miss him so much and I just need to see him please can I just see him for like a minute -?"
Tori's eyes were wide as she set the cups of tea down on the floor. "Come on," she said, extending a hand. "Let's go. Do you want to stay here, Oliver? Sarah will be back soon."
Oliver nodded bravely. "Say 'hi' to Tubey."
Tori smiled grimly. To Nick's surprise she took his hand as they approached the double doors.
Nick tried to focus on the cool of her palm. His eyes were blurred with tears so he let Tori lead him through a small labyrinth of corridors, past offices and medical machinery and beds and doctors and nurses.
In what felt like no time at all, Tori pulled him through the doors into a large ward where numerous patients lay, some behind curtains, some not, most of them asleep or else dozing. Tori led Nick toward the third bed on the right, one of the ones with curtains around it.
"Ready?" she squeezed his hand.
Nick nodded. Charlie was in there.
Tori let go of his hand. He felt calmer than he had in hours. He stepped around the curtain - Nick caught a glimpse of the small pale figure with a shock of dark curls, beneath all the wires and tubes and the hospital gown - Nick's breath caught in his throat - but then a pair of bony hands were pushing him away.
"Get out!"
Jane Spring had leapt to her feet the second Nick entered. She was a lot stronger than she looked, and with the element of surprise on her side, she managed to wrangle Nick back out of the curtained room.
"Please," he gasped. "Just let me have a minute -"
"Get out! This is all your fault -"
"Mum!" Tori hissed. "Let him see him! You're not the only one who loves him!"
"Don't you start, Victoria! Your brother would never be in this state if this boy had never -"
Several heads turned. A couple of furious nurses approached. Not as ashamed of herself as she should have been, Jane shot another glare at Nick but -
Nick had already gone. He must have paid more attention than he realised on the way here because he found his way back to the wide bright corridor in no time.
Sarah and Oliver looked up from their chocolate buttons. Sarah leapt to her feet at the fury mingled with despair in Nick's eyes.
"What on earth has that woman done this time?" Sarah hissed, so Oliver wouldn't hear. "She didn't kick you out, did she?"
When Nick didn't say anything, Sarah bristled further. "Wait here, baby. I'm going to give Jane Spring a piece of my mind -"
"Hang on a moment, Sarah." Helen had returned. "I'm going to need to ask you both to stay here for a moment. There's something very important I need to speak to Nick about and I'm sure he would appreciate your company."
Sarah looked at Nick. He nodded, defeated, and sank back into his chair. Oliver offered him a chocolate button. He took one and let it melt on his tongue.
Sarah sat beside him with Helen in the row opposite. She looked at him imploringly and Nick suddenly regretted the chocolate, his mouth suddenly way too dry and the sugar way too sweet.
"I have come to the conclusion that I have a leak in my team," Helen said plainly. "Somehow the perpetrator was able to hack our tracking system and track you via the GPS on your issued phone. I need to ask you, Nick, why was this in Charlie's pocket?"
Helen took out the phone and showed it to Nick.
The realisation hit him like a torrent of ice-cold water. Nick gasped and shuddered.
Jane Spring had been right.
"Nicky? What is it?"
Sarah gazed at him with rapt concern. Oliver stopped munching to watch him worriedly. Helen merely waited expectantly.
"It was in my pocket. Charlie was cold. I gave him my jacket. I - this is my fault."
Helen understood at once. "The perpetrator thought he was tracking you. He meant to shoot you, Nick, but you inadvertently put the target onto Charlie's back instead -"
"Okay, that's enough," said Sarah sharply.
"I'm sorry. This is not your fault, Nick. I preferred it when you placed the blame on Dawson and I. We actually deserve it. You and Charlie deserve none of this."
But Nick had stopped listening. He wasn't even there.
And this time it was as Charlie had described it.
Suffocating. Like drowning…
Until something cold was slipped into his hand. He realised it was Charlie's phone.
He gripped it tightly, the cool of the metal steadied his shaking hand.
"Come on, baby," said Sarah, getting to her feet. "Let's go home."
"I need to wait."
"Not for long, baby. You need a shower and a change of clothes. And maybe some lunch?"
"I need to be here when Charlie wakes up. Even if I can't see him. I need to be here."
"You'll want to be presentable, though, when he does," Sarah smiled. "And he wouldn't want you getting sick."
"You listen to your mother," said Helen. "I'll make sure to give you a call when he does wake up."
"Thank you, Helen," said Sarah. "Oliver, will you be alright with Helen taking you back to your parents?
Nick assumed the boy must have consented because then Sarah took Nick's hand and he found himself following along beside her.
She led him down the corridor, toward the main entrance of the hospital. Everything was so clean and bright and busy.
Through the front doors and the car park beyond.
How could it be so sunny?
How was the sky so blue?
How was the world still spinning?
Nick buckled himself into the passenger seat of his mum's car for the umpteenth time in his life, yet it all felt so different. It felt wrong to be doing anything that wasn't sitting and waiting and being there for Charlie.
He owed it to Charlie to at least stay by him until he woke up. Until he found out why he had been shot and understandably dumped Nick's traitorous arse.
Half an hour later, Nick's bedroom door shut behind him with a click.
The bed was still rumpled. Charlie's school uniform was folded half-heartedly on the back of the desk chair. His school bag had been kicked part way under the bed.
Nick couldn't bear to touch any of it. He needed it to be exactly as Charlie had left it. Somehow that seemed important.
He sat down on the very edge of his bed and took out Charlie's phone. He pressed the on button and was surprised when it lit up - it had taken an unplanned dip in the lake, after all.
Nick was greeted by his own face smiling up at him. The other Nick had plenty of reasons to be smiling - the main one was that Charlie Spring was wrapped up beside him on the sofa, kissing his cheek with an adorable hint of a grin in the corner of his mouth.
Nick looked at the time.
Had it really been less than four hours ago that Nick and Charlie had woken up beside each other?
That they had shared such a perfectly domestic morning?
It wasn't even midday. And yet so much had changed.
Nick shoved the phone into his pocket and grabbed some fresh clothes. He shut the wardrobe door and stifled a gasp at the mirrored door.
Blotchy red cheeks. A few strands of hair clumped together, congealed with something brown and crusty. A dark stain across his midsection.
Nick turned away and ran out of the room. He had only caught a second's worth of a glimpse but it had been enough. Enough to know he did not want to look again.
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