17. Safe
Helen and Officer Kane disappeared from Nick's view.
He stood at the window, breathing through his shock.
"Nick?"
Charlie's distant voice snapped him out of it. Nick turned away, grabbed another cup, filled it hastily and rushed back to the sofa and Charlie's side. He sat up right and Nick pushed the cup into his hands.
"We need to get out of here. Now," Nick gasped.
"What?" Charlie downed the water quickly but gratefully.
"He's here - I just saw him - out the window." Nick took several breaths, trying to steady his panic enough to explain clearly. "Charlie - Officer Kane - is the shooter -"
"What?"
"He's with Helen - we need to go -"
But Charlie was already on his feet. He felt a twinge as he stood up but swallowed his pain. Charlie started toward the office and stumbled slightly, but Nick caught him at once. Together, they hurried back along the corridor, into the office, Nick's arm firmly around Charlie, holding him up.
Charlie gathered his shoes and phone and collapsed into the wheelchair. He wanted his hands free but he had no pockets. He pulled Nick closer and shoved his phone into the pocket of his hoodie.
Charlie grabbed the shoes and began to shuffle his feet into them. The effort of bending over to tie the laces caused an undisguisable grunt of pain and then Nick was on his knees in front of him. "I'll do it. Let me do it."
Nick made quick work of the laces and then he darted around to push Charlie from the room.
Back out into the corridor, they started along it, back the way they had come. Charlie felt so useless, having to be pushed around - if he could just get out and run - he was putting Nick in more unnecessary danger…
Nick stopped suddenly. A door labelled 'storage room' stood open to their right.
"Hang on," Nick said and ducked inside.
The walls were stacked high with medical supplies, most of which Nick did not recognise. But there were boxes of bandages and gauze and medical tape. He grabbed some of each, then looked around for - a cloth bag. He piled the supplies into it and slung it over his shoulder.
"I think we should go that way," said Charlie when Nick returned. Nick glanced at the map on the wall as Charlie gestured. "There's an exit that comes out on a smaller side road - it looks more secluded -"
"Okay. Do you think you can navigate?"
"I think so." Charlie nodded, studying the map one last time. "Yes. Let's go."
Nick turned the wheelchair back around and started down the corridor, past the office door and deeper into the old ward.
The corridors were darker here. Dusty and old. Nick tried not to glance through the windows of the rooms they passed. This whole place gave him the creeps. He would be very glad to finally get out of here.
He gripped the handles of the wheelchair tightly as Charlie navigated, turning when he was instructed to, not slowing down for even a second.
Charlie had a feeling he knew what was coming and what might have to be done soon but when they came to the final set of doors, he realised Nick had not predicted the same.
Nick shouldered his way through the doors. "Shit."
They had come out into the top of a long stairwell going down.
"Isn't there a lift somewhere?" Nick panted. "There has to be a lift."
Charlie braced for the pain but knew what he needed to do, and was willing to do it. He moved to get up but Nick stopped him with a panicked hand on his shoulder.
"Charlie - no, you can't - We'll find another -"
"Nick!" Charlie got to his feet in one fell swoop, shrugging Nick's hand away like he'd never done before. "It's fine. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt as much anymore -"
"For fuck's sake! I can tell when you're lying, Char - I can tell how much pain you're in -"
"Well then the only other option is to leave me here."
Nick stared at him. His beautiful, brilliant, brave boyfriend - his Charlie, who was standing so defiantly in the face of his own fear and pain.
It went against almost everything Nick stood for, putting Charlie into even more pain, but Nick grasped his hand and they started their descent.
Round and round they climbed, down flight after flight. They had been at least four floors up, but Nick wasn't sure exactly. He gave up trying to count almost immediately, concentrating instead on Charlie, who was moving far too quickly and recklessly for Nick's liking.
But Charlie pushed onward, quickening the pace as they went, using the bannister for support less and less but never letting go of Nick's hand.
Thankfully, they met no one else. The stairwell was dark and cold but there was light ahead. Finally, they arrived at the bottom, into a tiny stairwell, and then burst out of some double doors, out into the warm evening air.
Nick collapsed against the brick wall of the building to catch his breath. Charlie was panting, sweaty and pale but he looked around, body thrumming with adrenaline.
They had come out onto a narrow path which wound around the old maternity ward building. Trees and hedges lined it and past them, lay the road beyond, cars zipping along it.
"Are you okay?" Charlie gasped. "Can you keep going?"
"Of course I can." Nick abandoned the wall to hold Charlie by the shoulders. He peered into his face and stroked it carefully. "You are incredible. Fuck. You are so…"
"You are so… too, but we can finish that thought later. Right now, we need to keep moving."
Nick watched Charlie stride toward the line of hedges. Charlie looked about for a second or so then found what he was looking for. Nick managed to wiggle through the gap after him, only getting snagged on a few stray branches. Charlie pulled him by the hand across the small stretch of dirt and grass, past the trees and onto the side of the road.
There was no pavement here. Nick and Charlie stood carefully on the curb and looked both ways. Charlie had not been entirely sure where they were going to come out, only judging it was probably a hundred times safer than trying to sneak out any of the main entrances.
"I know where we are. This is Canterbury R-Road -"
Charlie winced before he could hold it in. He rubbed his chest where the wound was, screwing his eyes shut tight as he breathed.
"Charlie?" Nick squeezed his hand. He hated this. He hated this so much he wanted to throw up. "Charlie?"
"I'm okay. It's going away. We need to keep moving."
They set off down the road to the left, heading, they knew, toward the middle of town. The road they were on was a long one and Nick knew they had a long walk ahead of them if they wanted to get anywhere of use.
Luckily, they only had to walk along the edge of the curb for a little way. Soon, a pavement appeared and they could walk more comfortably and safely.
Again, Charlie felt like they should be running, or else moving a lot faster than they were. The pain in his chest came in ebbs and flows. There was a constant reminder of the wounds existence every time he took a breath of course - he had not told Nick about this for obvious reasons - he didn't need to know nor did he need another reason to worry - but the worst of it came with no warning or cause.
Charlie supposed being ripped away from the painkillers so soon after surgery was not the best for him, health and well-being wise, but then again, neither was staying in a building with a murderer on the loose.
He could get through this. He had to get through this. And he would - for the amazing, courageous, miracle-of-a-boyfriend beside him.
They walked for a long while, quickly and quietly, gradually catching their breath, lost in their own thoughts. Every car speeding past their right was Kane coming to find them. Every flicker of movement out of the corner of their eyes…
On the left were those larger kinds of out-of-town houses, with big trees spaced evenly between them. This was one of those roads you never seemed to actually walk down, only ever drove past.
The sky was pink and the evening was warm. Nick hated that he and Charlie could not appreciate these things. A beautiful sunset, nice weather, a beautiful boy.
Charlie's hand was cool in Nick's now. Nick took in Charlie's attire and cursed not having tried to find him something warmer to wear. Nick looked down at the blue plaid pyjama bottoms, the fuzzy yellow socks, the once white converse - now stained pink with blood - the thin grey t-shirt.
Everything in him screamed to give him his hoodie. But for the first time in their relationship, Nick hesitated.
Charlie looked at him, as if sensing Nick's sudden distress. "What is it, darling?"
Nick swallowed the rising nausea in his stomach. Charlie stopped dead to look imploringly at him in concern. "Nick? Talk to me. What's the matter?"
"Charlie, you're cold."
"What?" Charlie glanced down at himself. He rubbed his own arms absent-mindedly. "Oh. Maybe a bit… but I'll be fine."
"I want to give you my hoodie," said Nick, close to tears. "But I can't."
Nick started walking again. They couldn't afford to slow down for too long. Charlie strode along beside him.
"You don't have to do that. I always appreciate the offer but you never have to do that. But what do you mean, you can't?"
"Because last time I gave you my clothes, it almost got you killed."
"Nick…"
Nick scrubbed at his tears in frustration. Charlie's heart panged for him. He had been through so much. Fought so hard for Charlie at every twist and turn. All Charlie could do was hold onto the hope that this would all be over soon. Hopefully.
Charlie clung even more fiercely to Nick's hand as they continued onward down the long, seemingly never-ending road. The houses had been replaced with businesses and flats, bigger, taller buildings, car dealerships and petrol stations. They considered stopping to buy some water but decided it wasn't worth the risk.
Nick was furious at himself for getting worked up over a stupid hoodie, furious he had somehow lost the ability to help his boyfriend in one of his previously favourite ways. He would usually have jumped at the chance to get Charlie in his clothes - at the first sign of coldness, he was always ready to provide. But now…
Fuck that, Nick thought. He wasn't going to let the shooter - let Kane - ruin any part of their relationship, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant. Nick reached down to remove his hoodie when Charlie cried out beside him.
Charlie swayed where he stood.
"Charlie?" Nick wrapped an arm around his waist as Charlie slumped against him, letting Nick hold almost his entire body weight.
The pain had almost been blinding for a moment there, and now, Charlie gritted his teeth, his eyes watering. He let out a heart-breaking whimper…
"Oh, Char, baby, I'm so sorry… This was so stupid - we should have just stayed where we were… I'm so sorry, love."
Nick kissed Charlie's sweaty brow, brushed aside his soggy fringe. He went to scoop Charlie up under his legs, ready to carry him but Charlie resisted.
"No. I can walk. I can do this. I'm okay."
"Shut up you brave idiot."
Nick hefted Charlie up into his arms. Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick's neck and let his head fall onto his shoulder. He told himself he was just going to close his eyes for a few seconds, as the pain receded again, but when he opened them, Nick had moved on considerably.
Nick exhaled in relief. He hadn't known whether his memory was right but he knew there was definitely a Travelodge somewhere on this side of town. The bright blue and red sign came into view as Charlie opened his eyes.
"What do you think, Char?"
"Do you have money?"
"I have the credit card my mum keeps for emergencies. She gave it to me earlier at lunch."
"Well," Charlie breathed. "I think this about qualifies. Do you think it's safe here?"
"I honestly don't know." Nick sighed. "But you need to rest."
The hotel doors opened automatically when Nick stepped up to them. They stepped into the tiny air-conditioned foyer. Nick deposited Charlie gently onto a scratchy sofa in the corner and approached the reception desk nervously.
The clock on the wall read 20:07.
"Do you need me to call an ambulance?" The lady on reception asked, eyeing Charlie warily.
"No," Nick said quickly. "That's - that's okay. Just - just a room please."
The receptionist squinted at Nick now, gaze turning from concerned to suspicious. "How old are you?"
"Err.." Nick hadn't considered this particular hurdle. Should he lie? He decided he shouldn't. "Sixteen."
"Hmm…" The receptionist frowned at him for a worrisome moment but then, "Okay. That's fine."
Nick exhaled slightly as the woman turned to her computer and started tapping away. "A twin room or a double?"
"A double, please."
Nick hastened a glance over at Charlie. He smirked very mischievously for someone who had been so riddled with pain not too long ago. Nick knew he was bright red when he turned back to the receptionist.
"How many nights?"
"Just the one."
"Are you sure you don't need me to call anyone?"
Nick figured he must not look much better than Charlie. He expected they both looked exhausted, not to mention haunted. That was how he felt anyway.
He forced his voice to sound as casual as it could. "We're sure."
"That's £43 then, please?"
Nick paid, then turned back toward the sofa but Charlie had already returned to his side.
The receptionist handed them their key card, they thanked her and they set off through some doors toward the lifts.
The lift doors dinged shut.
This all felt very ordinary. Almost too ordinary.
They stepped out onto the first floor and followed the blue carpeted hallway along for a considerable way until they came to the right room. Charlie was actually decidedly impressed when Nick managed to unlock the door successfully on his first try with the key card.
The door clicked open and they hurried inside. Nick double checked it was locked behind them, then joined Charlie by the window. Below there was only the sparsely filled car park, a line of trees blocking their view of the main road - but that was ideal.
Even still, Nick tugged the curtains closed.
Charlie sat down on the edge of the bed, still looking peaky but otherwise feeling a lot calmer.
Nick stood there for a moment, taking in the small room with it's basic amenities. He dumped the medical bag onto the desk and buried his head in his hands. He rubbed furiously at his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing. Then he started to pace across the small stretch of carpet by the window, running his hands through his hair.
"Maybe this was stupid," he muttered. "How far did we even walk? How much of a difference did we even make? Kane could probably -"
"Nick," Charlie breathed. "Nick. Breathe. Please. Come here."
Charlie pulled him down to sit beside him on the bed, pulled his head down onto his shoulder and stroked his hair a little tidier. Nick let out a long, controlled breath.
"This is good," Charlie said. "This is safe."
"I'm so scared."
"I know. Me too." Charlie planted a comforting kiss on Nick's cheek. "We need to call Helen and tell her what we know."
"Oh my God," Nick groaned. "We should have done that straight away."
"No, no," said Charlie. "We needed to get out of there. You made the right decision. You got us out of there, darling."
"We did that together."
"Of course we did. We're a team, right?"
"Heck yes." Nick managed a smile before it wavered. "Should we call Helen? Should we even call anyone? If Kane can hack into Dawson's GPS system then he can hack into phones too, surely?"
Charlie shrugged. "I don't really know how that stuff works but, I think it should be safe."
"Where's your phone?" Nick had a quick moment of panic when he realised Charlie didn't have any pockets.
"I put it in your pocket, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
They both found themselves laughing nervously as Nick handed over the phone and Charlie unlocked it.
"Crap. I don't have Helen's number, do I?"
"And I still don't have my phone… Wait, who are you -?"
Charlie clicked onto another contact and hit the speaker button so Nick could listen too. The moment before the call went through, Nick glimpsed the call ID and therefore wasn't surprised when Julio Spring's panicked voice filled his ears.
"Charlie? Thank God - where are you? Tony went back to get you but you'd gone -"
"We're okay, dad," Charlie said quickly. "We're safe. We - we got somewhere safer… Listen, is Helen there? We need to speak to her."
"I don't know where she is, Charlie. Your mum and Sarah and I were sent to the cafe with Dawson. No one has told us much of anything. Hang on…"
There was a few moments of vague shuffling and odd snippets of unintelligible conversation and then a new voice picked up the phone.
"Helen went after Kane." It was Dawson.
"Wait, she knows he's the shooter?" asked Nick.
"She found his cap and glasses in his car. He's still in the hospital somewhere but Helen and her team are looking for him…" Dawson gave a distressed sigh. "I'm so sorry, boys. This is all my fault - again. He hacked my phone when I saw him that night. I can't believe - I can't believe I let some fucking hook-up take advantage of me like that! I've known and worked with Ryan Kane for ages. I thought he was a bit of a dick but I never thought he'd be capable of something like this - I can't believe he managed to trick me… I'm meant to be smarter than that… I thought I was smarter…"
"He tricked everyone," said Charlie. "Helen trusted him too. This isn't all on you, Dawson."
"Hmm… Thank you for saying that, Charlie, but I'm already planning to hand in my resignation tomorrow morning. As for now, where are you? Are you safe?"
Charlie hesitated. He glanced at Nick. Their heads were leaning in close together so they could both speak into the phone in Charlie's hand. Nick had one hand on Charlie's knee without even noticing.
"How do we know we can trust you?" asked Nick.
"You're… you're right," said Dawson. "You're right to be wary. God, I've fucked up at every turn, I know neither of you have many reasons to trust me but, please, let me do this one thing for you before I go? Tell me where you are and I will send someone to stand guard. Tony will do it - I promise it won't be me this time…"
Charlie looked at Nick again. He could tell his boyfriend was not entirely convinced. He didn't think Nick would ever truly forgive Dawson. Charlie understood that, of course he did, but right now, Dawson was their only choice.
Nick nodded his assent.
"We're at the Travelodge on Canterbury Road," Charlie told Dawson. "I don't know the postcode…"
"Okay. We'll find it. Sit tight. Helen will catch Kane. She truly is some of the best."
"Th-thank you," Charlie managed.
The call ended.
"Well," Nick sighed. "That's something, I guess. But to be honest, it doesn't really fill me with much reassurance."
Charlie put his phone down on the bedside table and started to tug at his shoe laces. Nick immediately bent down to help him.
"Thanks," Charlie murmured. "I know we don't really like Dawson for obvious reasons, but I do feel a bit bad for her."
"That's because you're literally the best, most forgiving person ever." Nick kissed him quickly, then let Charlie lie down against the covers. "How's your pain? And don't lie again. I can tell if you do."
Charlie huffed in amused exasperation. "It… it does hurt a bit - but not as much as it did before we got here. It's definitely twinging less anyway."
"Okay," said Nick. "Thank you for telling me, my love."
Nick tugged at the tightly wrapped bed covers, pulling them all the way around the bed so it was ready for normal human use.
"Why do hotels always insist on making it near impossible to actually get into their beds? It's like they don't want you to sleep, or at least not quickly… There."
Nick slid off his own shoes and climbed in beside Charlie. They naturally gravitated toward each other in the middle, propping the pillows up more comfortably.
Charlie grabbed the television remote and clicked onto some panel show repeat, turning the volume down a little.
"I wish we had some snacks," he said as he snuggled into Nick's side.
"You do?"
Charlie blinked in surprise. "Yeah. I actually do."
He turned to Nick and grinned. Nick beamed at him. "That's good."
Charlie dozed off quietly beside him, but Nick couldn't allow himself to relax enough to sleep. The people talking and laughing on the telly had turned into a comforting sort of background noise, but Nick couldn't focus on it for more than a minute at a time.
He alternated from staring blankly at the screen, glancing anxiously at the curtained window, and gazing down at the sleeping boy beside him in the dying light.
Charlie woke up gradually. He was very comfortable and warm. He opened his eyes.
The room was darker now. Something slid off his shoulders as he shifted. It was Nick's hoodie. It had been draped over him, as well as the duvet, making him feel thoroughly tucked in and cared for.
Charlie rolled over, his chest only twinging a little bit, and found Nick sitting pretty much where he had been when Charlie had fallen asleep. The umpteenth episode of the same panel show was playing quietly on the television. Nick had turned his bedside light on and he was munching on a packet of crisps.
Charlie yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Where did you get that?"
"There's a vending machine by the lifts. Here."
And Nick tossed a second packet to Charlie.
He stared at them. His heart skipped and not in a fun way.
"Why would you risk that?" he gasped. Nick looked at him in alarm. "Nick! How could you do that?"
"I only went down the hall, Char. I was only gone a few minutes -"
"Nick!" Charlie grabbed a cushion and whacked him with it.
"Ouch!"
"What if I had woken up and you had been gone? I would have… and if anything had happened…"
Nick grabbed the cushion. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. It's just… you were hungry." Nick smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "And to be honest, so was I. I never did get my McDonald's."
Charlie stuffed the cushion back behind his head, huffed loudly to prove he was still annoyed and opened his crisps.
He stared into the packet.
Now he was faced with actual food he wasn't so sure he could eat it. He could feel Nick purposefully not watching him. Charlie swallowed against his suddenly dry mouth.
No. He had to. As silly as it sounded, Nick had risked a lot to get this.
Charlie took a deep breath, tried to turn his brain off and selected a crisp without looking too hard.
As Charlie slowly made his way through the packet, he realised his nap had rejuvenated him into a reasonably ordinary state of relaxation. He and Nick were watching mindless, funny TV, even finding themselves laughing a bit. They were lying in the biggest bed they had ever shared together. There were no parents or siblings or dogs to interrupt them, either.
"It's kind of like we're on holiday together," said Nick wistfully.
Charlie smiled. "I was just thinking the same thing. If you don't think about the homicidal bastard that's after us, I mean."
"Right." And Nick actually laughed. "Oh, I forgot. I boiled the kettle but I didn't want yours to get cold. Would you like it now?"
"Yes, please."
Nick pecked Charlie on the lips, got up, chucked his empty crisp packet into the bin and started bustling about, making tea.
Charlie watched him work, wondering again what he ever did to deserve this incredible boy. And as Nick came over to set the tea on Charlie's bedside table, Charlie felt practically giddy.
"I could get used to this kind of service." Charlie winked and giggled. "Efficient and cute." He took a sip. "And makes excellent tea. Five stars."
Before he could move away again, Charlie slid the cup back onto the side and reached up to take Nick's hand. Nick was adorably flushed as he allowed himself to be pulled downwards into a kiss.
The kiss was so fierce, so deep, so - everything - Nick's knees buckled and he had to steady himself by sitting down on the mattress beside Charlie.
"God," Nick gasped.
Charlie reached up to draw him down closer - he needed to be closer.
"I need to feel you," Charlie whispered.
Nick's next ragged breath got lost between Charlie's lips. Then Charlie's hands were in his hair and the tea was forgotten. Nick tried to be extra careful, extra gentle, not wanting to accidentally knock Charlie's injury but Charlie pulled him further down, hands travelling lower too, down over Nick's shoulders, his back. The he tugged at the hem of Nick's t-shirt and Nick pulled it off over his head.
"Can I?" Charlie gasped, eyes lidded.
"Please."
Nick licked his way into Charlie's mouth and their kiss caught fire. Hands and lips and tongues. But then Charlie's hands disappeared from Nick's skin and Nick moaned at the sudden loss. But Charlie had put his hands instead to the hem of his own t-shirt -
"Char… are you sure? You don't have to…"
"I want to."
With one fluid motion, Charlie grasped Nick by the shoulders and flipped them over so that he was now straddling Nick's waist. In a second flourish, Charlie braced himself, then whipped off his shirt and chucked it down the side of the bed before he could let his brain talk himself out of it.
Charlie sat there, watching Nick process everything he was seeing, and everything he wasn't. He let out a just-audible gasp - "Charlie… can I - can I touch you?"
Charlie nodded several times, breathless and overwhelmed by the intense look in Nick's eyes. "Yes. Touch me."
Nick lifted a hand, reached out and brushed the familiar skin it had brushed before but never while he had been able to look. Charlie was lean, all beautiful lines and angles. A square of white bandage neatly covered the right side of his chest, just below his heart.
Nick's hand slid around Charlie's bare waist and sat up to capture his mouth with his once again, pulling him down closer. Charlie cupped Nick's head as Nick traced every line, every curve, every expanse of smooth brown skin.
"I love you," Nick whispered between intense kisses. "I love you so much."
"I love you…"
It was only a small hitch, a sharp exhale, but Nick caught it - he felt it as if he were the one in pain.
"Char…?"
"Whah-?"
Charlie's curls were scattered across his forehead and his eyes were glistening with love and passion and something else, something Nick had only ever seen before from the other side of a phone screen…
Nick gathered Charlie up in his arms and gently rolled them back over into their original position. Charlie came to land comfortably, lying on his back against the cushions. The duvet had fallen down around their hips.
Nick leaned once again over his boyfriend but this time only kissed him on the mouth once before moving on. Slowly, feather light and delicate, Nick kissed the corner of Charlie's mouth and Charlie sighed.
Along, so so slowly, taking his time, across his jaw, his chin… He nibbled lightly at Charlie's neck. Charlie gasped, his hands clutched up at Nick's shoulders - he couldn't get close enough.
But then Nick moved on, across the shape line of his collarbone, over his shoulder, down his right arm - Charlie shivered, mind so so wonderfully foggy…
When Nick caressed the inside of his elbow with his tongue, Charlie thought he might have ascended… he could feel every touch, every breath against his skin, every tickle of Nick's hair in every cell of his body, right down to his toes.
Nick did not pause or hesitate for even a second as he continued down along Charlie's forearm, over the series of self-made lines, over the newer wound where the IV had been. Charlie thought Nick was going to stop and was about to yell at him 'don't you dare' when he kept going.
Charlie watched, wide-eyed as Nick sucked, soft but hard at the same time, on the palm of Charlie's hand. Then, slowly, deliberately, he licked down the length of the pinky finger and took it into his mouth.
"Jesus fucking Christ… Oh my God, why does that feel so good?"
Nick looked up at him through lidded eyes as he released the finger with a small pop.
"You like that?"
Charlie could only groan in pleasure.
"I'll take that as a yes then."
"Yes!"
Nick continued his administration of the fingers on Charlie's right hand. By the time he got to the thumb, Charlie was practically a puddle of want and need and frustration.
He needed to touch. He needed to feel - more.
"Nick… Nick… Nick… Let me…"
Charlie reached up to pull Nick back to his mouth again. He wanted Nick to feel what Charlie had just felt. He wanted to share in this mind-blowing revelation.
"No, no, my love. You don't need to do anything for me other than lie back and stay comfy, okay? Let me worship you, Char…"
Charlie swallowed thickly. "Okay…"
And Nick resumed his progress, back along the collarbone, down the left arm this time. He did not speed up or falter or neglect a single stretch of skin. Each kiss was perfect, leaving a line of tingling goosebumps in their wake. The inside of the elbow, the symmetrical set of scars, the wrist, the palm, each individual finger.
Nick finally returned to Charlie's lips.
They were drunk on each other's breathlessness. As their tongues reunited, Nick shifted his weight, still trying not to put any unnecessary weight on Charlie's chest. As he did so, their hips brushed. Charlie stuttered a gasp as they both became fully aware of each other's situations.
Charlie's eyes were a darker blue than Nick had ever seen.
"Charlie?"
Charlie had become quite still beneath him. His hands had dropped to his sides and the way they were fluttering made Nick almost sure Charlie was fighting against the want to cover himself up.
Nick drew back at once, heart still thumping madly but with a skip of fear. "Charlie? What's wrong? Did I do something -? Did I hurt you?"
"No, no, I'm fine," Charlie gasped. He grabbed both of Nick's hands and patted them, a little awkwardly, considering what they had just been doing. "This is… this is honestly amazing. You feel so amazing. It's just… my brain. You know it likes to mess things up… I can't help but think… especially now - that I'm not - I'm so -"
"Your next word had better be 'beautiful'."
But several tears slipped from the dark blue eyes. "I'm not - desirable. I'm pathetic and too weak and too skinny and how can you even -?"
"Hey, hey, shh shh, Charlie, look at me. Baby, look at me, love. You, Charlie Spring, are fucking gorgeous, okay? I love you so much. You are so - God, Char, I have proof. You've barely touched me and I have proof. I think you can feel it…"
Charlie could definitely feel it.
He could feel it in every fibre of his being… not just against his thigh.
He let out a steadying breath and looked deep into his favourite brown eyes. Nick's cheeks were beautifully pink and they were rapidly turning darker, Charlie noticed, baffled.
It was Nick's turn to shift awkwardly. "Another thing." He had to look away as he admitted the next part. "There was… another vending machine down the hall that - that didn't sell snacks."
With a shaking hand, Nick reached out toward the bedside table and pulled open the drawer.
"Nick…" Charlie's heart beat increased just as it had with every step they took this evening. He stammered out a laugh at the embarrassed amusement on Nick's face. "How did you know this was going to… escalate so much?"
"I - I didn't. I don't know what I was thinking really but I just saw the machine and well… this is a well-stocked Travelodge."
He handed Charlie the small bottle of lube so he could inspect it. "Who knew Travelodge was so inclusive?"
"And besides," Nick continued. "I almost lost you, Charlie. Who knows how long either of us have left, you know? It feels like any moment could be our last and I figured… we should be allowed to be together, completely, just once before…"
Charlie looked up at him with perfect, tearless eyes of trust and awe. "Are you saying you don't want to die a virgin?"
Nick laughed nervously. "I dunno… obviously we don't have to do this if you don't want to…"
"Nick -" Charlie pulled him back down and thrust the bottle back into his hands. He kissed him wildly, nipping at his bottom lip with his teeth. Nick moaned against Charlie's mouth and Charlie gasped, "I want you inside me."
And then they moved and curved and fitted together, chest against chest, hips against hips. Charlie's breath stuttered and caught as Nick's tongue found it's way into his open mouth, and Nick's hands rid Charlie of the rest of his clothes, checking in at every baby step.
"Yes… yes… yes…" Charlie murmured breathlessly each time.
The repeated word helped steady Nick's own nerves, his own concern of doing something stupid, or wrong, or worse.
And then Charlie's hands were fumbling at the button and zip of Nick's jeans. They both giggled nervously as Nick wiggled awkwardly out of them, taking his underwear with them.
"Socks…" Charlie gasped.
"Huh?" Nick frowned, then glanced at Charlie's feet.
"Off." He was still wearing the fuzzy yellow cat socks.
Nick did as he was told and chucked them far out of sight.
Charlie laughed. "Not very sexy…"
Then Charlie heard the small click of a lid being removed and the crackle of foil.
Suddenly everything seemed very real; he felt a sudden flash of nerves. This was really happening.
Nick stilled. All of him was tense and shaking, and the pupils of his eyes were wide. "Are you okay?"
Hearing the uncertainness in Nick's voice, Charlie thought maybe his heart was cracking.
"Yes," he whispered.
Nick's hands shook as he reached down and tried to focus on fine motor skills. He managed to steady his hand enough to coat his fingers thoroughly. He massaged the substance between them for a moment.
"Are you okay?" Charlie breathed. He reached out and entangled Nick's free hand with his own.
"Yes."
"Kiss me," Charlie pleaded, and Nick did. Hot, slow kisses that sped up along with their heartbeats.
"Ready?"
Charlie swallowed and nodded and then - a shuddering gasp as Nick utilised his first finger.
"Charlie? Is this -?"
"Yeah… it's just - weird - n-not bad - just weird -" Charlie forced himself to breathe and relax against the unfamiliar sensation. "I'm okay. K-keep going…"
And soon they were skin to skin, breath against breath, heartbeat against heartbeat. And even at the final moment, when Charlie did flinch, he pressed Nick to go on, wrapping himself around him, not letting go.
They progressed gently together, starting slow and moving to sharp urgency. Charlie kept his eyes wide open as Nick shuddered apart, his face against Charlie's neck, repeating Charlie's name over and over.
When Charlie finally closed his eyes, it was to follow him, unravelling, every fibre of his being alight with dizzy ecstasy and everything was bright and white and golden.
When movement had stilled and gasps had turned to soft whimpers, they lay holding each other, Charlie curved against Nick's side, his head on his chest. Nick touched Charlie's hair and looked up in wonder at the shadows above the bed.
Who knew how long they both lay there, breathing and tingling.
"Wow…" Nick breathed. "That was…"
"Yeah…" Charlie whispered. "No wonder people are so obsessed with sex."
Nick chuckled softly. "I know you're probably tired of me asking this, but, are you okay? It doesn't hurt, does it? It seems like it should hurt…"
Charlie kissed Nick's bare chest. "It did a bit at first…" he whispered, but then he couldn't take the shine of devastation in Nick's eyes so he continued quickly. "I know - I know that's like, your number one fear. Hurting me. But, Nick, I wanted you to. And even if there was some… some pain, you never hurt me. Not once. Do you understand?"
Nick nodded, smiling through his concern.
"You were incredible, darling," said Charlie. "But are you okay?"
"Charlie," Nick gasped. "I have never been more okay, ever. I - I just can't believe we just did that."
Charlie giggled and flushed. "I know, right? Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"We just had sex."
And then they were both clinging to each other as they burst into triumphant laughter.
"And it wasn't even that awkward or rubbish," Nick laughed. "I thought it would be awkward and rubbish."
"Right," said Charlie. "Maybe we're actually natural sex gods and just never knew it."
Nick snorted. "Maybe. But I think it's because… well, we're not like other couples our age. We never have been. I think maybe, because we love and trust each other so much already, everything just sort of… fit."
Charlie craned his neck up to kiss Nick's lips. "For a moment there, I thought it might not," he whispered, grinning.
"Charlie!" But Nick grinned too. "Oh no!" he said suddenly, looking off to the side.
"What is it?"
"The tea went cold."
"Oh no!" Charlie laughed.
"I'll make you another one, but we should probably shower first."
"But I don't wanna move," Charlie whined, snuggling closer.
"We really should shower, baby."
"I can't get this bandage wet." Charlie looked down at it, almost having forgotten it was there at all. But now he had remembered, it felt kind of itchy. "I think it might need changing actually."
"Crap," said Nick. "I did grab some bandages and stuff. Hang on."
Nick got up, found his pants and pulled them on. Charlie pouted at the loss of the warmth beside him and the loss of his new favourite view.
"You think of everything. You're the best."
"You're the best." Nick grinned. "And I'll get a towel."
In the tiny bathroom, Nick wet a flannel and grabbed one of the fluffy white hand towels.
His heart had calmed down a bit but his mind had taken over the racing. He could still feel everywhere Charlie had been, everywhere they had touched.
Nick knew he was definitely feeling a little overwhelmed but the sudden onslaught of tears took him by surprise. He looked away from himself in the mirror, furious at himself and confused.
He managed to gather himself enough to remember that Charlie needed him in the next room. He clicked the bathroom door shut again and returned to the bedside.
He was just hoping Charlie wouldn't notice his slightly blotchy eyes when Nick saw the tears sparkling in Charlie's eyes.
"Shit," Nick breathed, his own tears resurfacing. "What's wrong? Baby, please tell me."
Charlie gulped wetly as Nick crawled over to him on the bed, setting the flannel, towel and bag of medical supplies down beside them.
"I dunno. I just - I think I'm just really overwhelmed. Everything that has happened today. We went from the worst thing in the world to literally the best. I think it all just hit me at once and I love you so much and I'm so scared and I don't know…"
Nick bundled Charlie into his chest and rocked him as he cried. "I know, Char. I know. It just hit me too, I think. It's all been a lot. It's been a lot of horrible and a lot of good. We just have to hold on."
Charlie sighed shakily. Nick felt the puff of air against his skin.
"I love you so much, Charlie." He kissed his forehead. "Will you let me clean you?"
"Yeah…"
Nick worked as quickly as he could, gently and efficiently, rinsing the flannel several times, then dabbing dry with the towel. By the time he was done, both of their tears had dried up and Nick turned his attention to the bandage.
Charlie carefully pulled at the edge, lifting the tape away gradually until he could lift the bandage away from his skin.
Nick watched him, half terrified of what he would see beneath, not knowing whether they should even be doing this yet or not. But he trusted Charlie.
Charlie winced. Blood had stuck to the inside of the bandage. This might not have been the best idea, Charlie thought, but he couldn't go back now. It had to come off.
"Maybe we should -" Nick began.
But Charlie took a deep breath and ripped the fabric away in one big yank.
"Ow…" Charlie gasped.
But there was no fresh blood, only dry, most of which had been removed along with the bandage.
As for the sutures below, Nick and Charlie both stared at them. Charlie prodded at them experimentally. They were still very tender.
"I'm gonna have a scar."
Nick kissed the jagged line of damaged skin. "Hell yeah," he whispered. "My boyfriend is a badass."
Charlie watched Nick pull out the supplies he had scavenged from the hospital and set to work, figuring out how best to recreate the bandage they had just removed.
"I should have grabbed antiseptic wipes or even just hand sanitiser…"
"Darling, don't worry about it," said Charlie. "This is just temporary. I still can't believe you even thought to grab what you did so… What?"
Nick had finished smoothing the tape down around the new square of bandage, and he was now a little pink-cheeked and smiling bashfully.
"I thought I didn't need a nickname. You started calling me 'darling'..."
"Oh." Charlie blinked. When had that happened? "Sorry. I can stop."
"Please don't. And no s-word."
"Okay," said Charlie. "Darling."
With their skin clean, pants on and new bandage in place, they settled back down against the cushions on the opposite side of the bed. There was nothing they could do about the mess on the other side. They felt a bit bad for the poor sod who would have to deal with that when they were gone, but, working at a Travelodge, they expected it wasn't the worst thing they had had to clean up.
"I feel a bit bad," said Nick, several minutes of quiet later.
"What? Why?"
"Well… you're only fifteen, Char. And you only turned fifteen a few months ago. I dunno… It just occurred to me that what I just did was technically… illegal."
"Nick… nothing about that was illegal. I mean, it didn't feel illegal. We may have technically broken the law but I think I gave my very enthusiastic consent several times. And at least… at least it wasn't doubly illegal…"
Nick sighed and cuddled him tighter. "God… you're right. I've never been so glad we were born when and where."
"We wouldn't have lasted five minutes a hundred years ago."
"It would have been worth it."
A moment of silence.
"Well, that just got heavy," said Charlie, laughing nervously. "Can we talk about something happy now?"
Nick thought for a moment, then, "I can't believe I thought I was straight."
Charlie snorted. "I've never felt gayer, and I've always been pretty gay."
"Pretty and gay." Nick yawned. Charlie may have had a nap but Nick hadn't. "What time is it?"
Charlie reached across the mess and grabbed his phone. "Almost ten o'clock and Jesus, I have like a bunch of texts from Tori…"
Nick groaned into the pillows. "Crap! Tori… she is going to be so pissed at me…"
But then he looked up again and saw Charlie's face fall further and further, his eyebrows knitted together as he scrolled and read.
"Char?"
Charlie sprang out of bed and started to pull on his clothes as he frantically located them.
"What is it?"
"He has them, Nick. At my house. Kane has Tori and Oliver."
"What?"
Charlie's voice had been small and cold and Nick felt the ice slip into his own stomach. He reached for his own clothes.
"We should go and tell Tony."
"No." Charlie did up his shoes, ignoring the flicker of physical pain in his chest and focusing on the mental. "We can't. It has to be me, Nick. He said - he said he'd kill them if anyone else intervened. Tony's never going to let me go. I'm going to have to sneak past him…"
"Right. Like I'm not going with you." Nick passed his discarded hoodie to Charlie without a second thought. Charlie pulled it over his head. "We're a team, remember?"
After a few moments of desperate studying of the fire map on the back of the hotel room door, Charlie managed to navigate through the maze of carpeted corridors, down the stairs and out through a side door, into the now much darker, much colder car park.
Charlie shoved his free hand into the pocket of Nick's hoodie and shivered, grateful for the extra layer but feeling guilty for his boyfriend's lack. Charlie gripped Nick's hand and glanced around, trying to stop his mind from flipping through one horrific possibility to the next.
They were standing on the pavement at the back of the featureless square hotel building. The car park wrapped all the way around it in a U shape. Here, round the back, there were no cars at all.
Nick ran his free hand through his hair as he always did when he was stressed. "We're going to need to call a taxi."
"That's going to take ages," said Charlie. "We don't have time."
"It's that or walk all the way across town," said Nick as he reached inside the hoodie pocket and took out Charlie's phone. "That'll take even longer."
Charlie knew Nick was right but that didn't make the waiting any easier. He stood there, shivering from the cold and the anticipation.
When Nick was done on the phone, he slid it back into the pocket. As his hand brushed inside the hoodie, he could feel just how hard Charlie was shaking.
Nick pulled him forward and Charlie practically fell against him. They stood there, by the red brick wall of the miserable empty car park, clinging to each other and breathing.
"It's going to be a few minutes," Nick murmured. "We should find a way round to the road, if we don't want to be seen."
Charlie swallowed thickly, took Nick's hand again and let him guide him round toward the right of the building.
The car park was surrounded by a waist high brick wall. There were no gaps but when they turned the corner, they found a small courtyard area full of large bins. One of them was pushed up against the wall and made a decent step up.
Nick went first, then turned back to help Charlie up. Jumping down on the other side was another matter. It may not have been that high but it felt higher looking down. But they had no other options.
On the other side of the wall was a narrow stretch of that kind of in-between land of earth and weeds and drifted rubbish. But when they ducked down enough, they were concealed from sight of any cars in the front car park.
Once they had made it all the way round to the road, Charlie was once again left with nothing to distract himself from his raging thoughts.
This was a terrible idea. He had brought Nick right back out into the open, purposefully disregarding Tony's protection.
But Tori and Oliver needed him.
Hopefully they wouldn't be too late. Charlie didn't even really know what he was planning to do when he got there. Fight Kane off somehow? He was beginning to regret letting Nick tag along.
Nick and Charlie only stood there under the street light outside the hotel for about five minutes before the taxi arrived, but Charlie felt like he had never stood anywhere else.
"You boys got money to pay for this?" barked the driver as they slid into the back seat.
Nick showed him the emergency credit card. The man nodded, seemingly entirely unphased by the two bedraggled teenagers getting into his car in the middle of the night.
"Where to?"
"Britannia Road?" said Charlie.
The man grunted his recognition and set off.
Nick and Charlie sat there in tense silence, hands still clasped as always, but minds elsewhere.
Charlie still shivered despite the warmth of the taxi. He looked down at his stained-pink shoes, at his thin pyjama bottoms. He could feel his heart beating beneath the fresh bandage over his chest. The pain was still there, as ever, as he breathed but duller. Maybe he was just getting used to it.
Or maybe he was just distracted by a newer, different dull sensation. He could still feel where Nick had been. And the feeling was kind of grounding. Charlie focused on that.
The taxi driver dropped them off on the corner.
Nick and Charlie made their way down the road toward Charlie's house.
Monday morning, when Charlie had last been home, felt like another lifetime ago.
The windows were unlit when they approached.
Nick squeezed Charlie's hand. He wanted to tell him to stay outside, to run. But he knew he would never agree.
Charlie pushed open the front gate and led the way up the path, forcing himself to walk with confidence to the door. When he turned the handle, he was only half-surprised to find it unlocked.
Inside the hall, all was quiet. Charlie flicked the light on."
"Tori?"
Silence.
"Charlie." Nick swallowed. He could feel the hairs prickle on the back of his neck. "I don't think anyone's home."
But Charlie scurried into the kitchen. The dining room.
Then back across the hall. Nick followed him into the living room.
Charlie was filled with an anxious sort of energy, pacing back and forth across the rug in front of the fireplace. He pulled out his phone again.
"Charlie, I think we should go."
"This doesn't make sense…"
"There's no one here, my love -"
Charlie heard Nick inhale sharply.
The living room door snapped shut.
Charlie looked up as Nick pushed him behind him, shielding him from the man who stood before them.
"You've been surprisingly difficult to dispose of, boys," said Ryan Kane.
Kane took a step forward.
There was still a sofa between him and the boys but he had them trapped. Nick glanced at the window. Maybe he could distract Kane long enough for Charlie to open one and escape.
Maybe.
Charlie stepped out from behind Nick and faced Kane head-on. "Where are Tori and Oliver?"
"Who?" Kane asked casually. "Oh… the girl and the little boy. I hope your sister didn't mind me borrowing her phone. I just needed to send a quick text. Thank you for arriving so promptly, boys. I'd hate for all this to drag on even longer, it's all been growing very tedious for a while now."
"What did you do to my sister?" Charlie spat. "Where's Oliver? Where are they? If you've hurt them -"
Kane looked from Charlie to Nick and said, "Good grief, does this one ever stop whining?" He moved a hand around his back. "I expect you have to cover his mouth while you fuck him."
Charlie could feel Nick trembling with rage beside him.
"I should have hit you harder -"
Kane drew something from behind his back and, at the same time, Nick and Charlie both pushed each other out of the way. The momentum caused them both to stumble, Charlie toward the window, Nick toward the opposite wall.
Charlie steadied himself, on hand on the window sill. Then he heard Nick yell out and turned in time to see Kane wrestle him to the ground.
"NICK!"
Charlie pushed off from the window sill, leapt around the armchair and ran at Kane.
Nick struggled against the weight of the taller man, Kane's rough hands pinning him to the carpet. Nick watched in horror as Charlie threw himself at Kane.
"Get off him! Stop it! Get off him!"
Charlie wrapped his arms around Kane's neck, trying to use his own momentum to knock the man aside. Nick could only lay there on his front, winded, his legs pinned, unable to help, unable to move.
"Charlie…"
"God, you are annoying," Kane muttered.
A sickening thunk - Kane had shoved Charlie off him.
Charlie fell back. His head struck the floor.
Blinking the stars from his eyes, he sat up, just as Kane raised the gun again.
Charlie thrust himself to his feet but before he could do anything - a flash of bright red feathers - and Kane injected the dart into Nick's shoulder.
Nick's eyes rolled back and he became frighteningly still.
"What did you do to him?"
Charlie went to run to Nick's side but Kane got up and turned his attention on him - and Kane was pissed.
Charlie ran.
Nick was just knocked out, he told himself. Just unconscious. If Charlie could get away, he could call for help. Maybe he could subdue Kane somehow and then -
Charlie didn't even make it to the door.
He was slammed to the ground, Kane's arm across the back of his neck. Winded, Charlie gasped against the sharp stab of pain across his chest. He had fallen hard on his front.
Still Charlie struggled, tried to punch, kick, headbutt his way to freedom but Kane was both very strong and very well trained.
The arm across Charlie's neck reaffirmed it's pressure. Charlie's head was forced to the side, and as he felt the sting of the needle piercing his shoulder, all Charlie could see was the heartbreakingly still form of Nick lying face down across the carpet from him.
It was the last thing Charlie saw before his vision blurred completely, and he fell into the darkness.
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