A/N: I finished the chapter last night but forgot to upload it! And I'm still not back on schedule. Working on it!
Chapter 4: The Girl with the Golden Gun
Kurisu thought she knew what "strange" was.
Only a few months ago, some weird chuuni whom she'd never met before walked up to her in the middle of Akihabara and struck up a conversation with her as if he knew her. That was weird. Then he claimed that he did know her, because he was a time traveler who had been to dozens of different timelines, all of which had brought the two of them together. That was weirder. But she believed him, and also she remembered all of that – eventually. And the former happened before the latter. That was even weirder. Then, as they started working together to sort through his experience of time travel and her returning memories, she also began to remember that she'd fallen in love with him in the other timelines. Now that was quite weird. But at the end of the day, that was that timeline, and that Kurisu; this was this timeline, and this Kurisu was her own person, and her own feelings.
And then she started falling for him, too. In her opinion, even amidst the time travel, secret organizations, and multiple self philosophical quandaries, that took the cake in terms of "weird." Also "mildly infuriating."
But today, out of nowhere, blew all her notions of "weird" out of the water.
The burning tree smashed its "head" into the ground, sending a wave of fire and earth rippling through the ground straight toward them. She dove to the side, the destructive line just barely missing her. She scrambled to her feet, her eyes widening as the tree lifted its head, turned toward her new position, and made to repeat the same maneuver.
The Doctor, also scrambling to his feet, noticed the same thing. Keeping his device pointed at the tree, he grabbed the girl's arm and shouted, "Keep running!" With a yelp, Kurisu was dragged along as the two managed to evade another line of fire.
"This isn't a plan!" Kurisu shouted.
"Usually," the Doctor retorted, "people offer their feedback after the experience!"
"I'm not sure there's gonna be an 'after!'"
They nearly toppled forward as each of them felt something suddenly trap their ankles. Looking down, they were more than a little displeased to see that the flowers had gone from "creepy" to "downright sinister," as they wound around their ankles and trapped them in place, their chittering now growing louder.
"This is why I hate gardening," the Doctor grumbled loudly.
"I think we have more pressing problems!" Kurisu pointed at the head of the tree, which had lifted once more. It began to glow even brighter, and points of light began to appear all around it – little fireballs that winked into existence and burned like stars.
"No worries!" The Doctor twisted his torso to keep his device pointed at the tree – not at the now fiercely-burning head, but at the softer-glowing, pulsing mound at the bottom. "I've got it all under control."
"How?!"
"Just a second!"
The balls of fire began to swirl around the head of the tree, gathering into one blinding point of energy on the head of the tree.
I'm going to get vaporized by a flaming mosquito tree, thought Kurisu in one glib moment of introspection before her impending doom. My death couldn't get any weirder.
She was about to be corrected on two counts. It wasn't going to be her death, and it could get weirder.
Because before the flaming mosquito tree could release its vaporizer blast, Goldilocks jumped out of nowhere, pulled a flintlock musket from her chest, and shot the tree in the face.
It wasn't the solution Kurisu would have considered, but it worked. The tree recoiled, issuing another hideous screeching noise, and the girl with blonde hair styled in drill-tails wasted no time – she pulled out two more muskets, one in each hand, seemingly out of nowhere, and kept blasting. If a tree were capable of "expecting," it certainly wasn't expecting to be pumped full of lead, and each hit rocked it, preventing it from reacting. The blonde girl kept pulling muskets out of nowhere, firing them in constant succession, until at last she reached behind her and produced…a golden ribbon? It swirled and twirled through the air, until suddenly, with a jerk, it morphed into –
"Oh, come on," the Doctor groaned.
– a huge, humongous single-shot antique pistol, almost entirely barrel, with a handle that was diminutive compared to the whole gun, but was still about the size of the girl herself, who was holding it by hugging it to her side.
"Tiro finale!" she declared, as the comically large gun produced a comically large "BANG," and a comically large bullet embedded itself into the tree. With one final writhe, the whole plant collapsed to the ground, before gradually vanishing into motes of light.
The blond girl landed on the ground much too lightly for the Doctor to believe. With how high she had somehow launched herself, she should have shattered both her ankles upon landing. Instead she alighted from about forty yards in the air as if she'd just stepped from the last step of the staircase behind them. Around them, the air shimmered as the floating hearts, chittering flowers, and passing clouds vanished, replaced by plaster and brick, glass windows, and a blue afternoon sky; they'd somehow ended up back at the landing where they'd first entered. The crack, however, was nowhere to be seen – and Kurisu could closely inspect the wall where it had been.
"My apologies," said the girl with blond drill curls in a soft and gentle voice. "That was a bit of a close call, wasn't it? But don't worry, you're safe now." She gave them a small smile. Her form shimmered, and her outfit – a stylish combination of golden skirt and white blouse – transformed into a more commonly-known middle school girls' uniform.
"Sparo," said the Doctor.
The blond tilted her head. "I beg your pardon?"
"It's sparo," the old man repeated. "'Final shot' in Italian is sparo finale. Not tiro finale. Tiro is a shot from a bow and arrow. Sparo is with a gun. How did you do that, by the way?" He began waving his blue device at her, but Kurisu grabbed his wrist and wrenched it down.
"What he means to say is, thank you for saving our lives," she interrupted, shooting the man a glare.
"I had it covered," the Doctor insisted. "And I wouldn't have had to use a gun." There was a certain derogation in the way he enunciated the last word, but if the blond girl noticed, she didn't appear to take offense.
"You're quite welcome," she said instead.
"What, you're not curious?" the Doctor pointed out, turning to Kurisu while gesturing toward the younger girl. "I pop in, pull a screwdriver out my pocket, and leave, and you don't stop pestering me. She jumps in out of nowhere, pulls a gigantic pistol out of her chest, and changes her clothes like a hologram, and you don't even have a question?"
Kurisu had to admit, he had a point. If he was weird, this new girl was something else entirely. Unlike the Doctor, though, the newcomer was more forthcoming –
"My name is Mami Tomoe. I'm a magical girl by contract. I hunt Witches in this city."
– if not more illuminating.
"Witches?" Kurisu repeated, at the same time that the Doctor said, "There's no such thing as magic."
Mami Tomoe's rebuttal was short and simple. "There is, actually."
"No, there isn't," the Doctor insisted. "I've met witches before, and they turned out to be aliens. I've got them in a crystal ball now."
"I don't like magic as an explanation, either," said Kurisu, "but come on. Your alternative is aliens?"
"Well, what animal can you think of that creates pocket universes and sucks out human emotions?" A whirring sound pierced the air, and she was exasperated to see the Doctor's device moving in his other hand, pointed at Mami. "Now, what about you? Are you an alien? No judgment – I'm an alien too. Maybe we could start a group chat" – he enunciated the last phrase in a way that really emphasized his age – "I could put you in touch with the Zygons. Just don't be a Carrionite, or I might have to crystal-ball you."
"I'm quite human, I'm afraid," Mami answered, still with the same gentle smile.
"You're not 'crystal-balling' anyone, either," Kurisu added. She turned and opened her mouth to ask the new girl a question. Then a thought struck her. She turned back to the Doctor. "Wait. What did you just say?"
"What, about the Carrionites?" The Doctor held up his device (did he call it a screwdriver? It looked nothing like one). "I've already checked; she's not a Carrionite, thankfully. I'm against sonnets, and I don't want —"
"No, no — before that," Kurisu interrupted.
"Oh, the group chat with the Zygons?" said the Doctor. "I'm good friends with a couple of their leaders. Some of them used to be violent revolutionaries, but I'm pretty sure —"
"No!" Kurisu slapped her forehead. "You said that you were an alien."
"Oh," the Doctor grumbled. "Well, if we're going to keep doing introductions…" He turned toward Mami. "This is Blood Hair. She's my self-employed, unpaid intern."
"I am not!" Kurisu protested. "My name is Kurisu Makise. I'm a theoretical physicist."
"And I'm the Doctor," the old man declared. "I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. And if I'm not mistaken — and I hardly ever am — then witches will be the least of your worries. Your city, along with three entire universes, are about to be destroyed."
His friends' lifeless faces stared up at him.
"No," Rintaro whimpered, stumbling and falling as he backed away from them. "No."
Above him, the storm was howling, uprooting and destroying everything in its path. Except the storm sounded strange. It sounded like a woman's voice. Or were they women? The howling of the wind sounded like sobbing. Or was it laughing? High above, he heard explosions and gunfire; it occurred to him that that sounded strange, even in the midst of a terrible storm. Perhaps he was mistaken.
But there was no mistaking whose corpses were lying in front of him now.
"No," he repeated, averting his eyes away from Kurisu, Itaru, and Mayuri's lifeless yet accusing gazes. "This isn't real. This is just a dream."
"It is," a voice behind him agreed. "But it could also be the future."
He quickly turned to look. At first, he saw no one there. Then he saw something like a mirage briefly shimmer into view: the translucent form of a little girl with white hair and a white dress with green trim.
"Is this wh* * was talking *bout?" The girl appeared to be speaking, but her voice was getting cut off, like an unstable radio broadcast, as she flickered in and out of view. "*purgisnacht? The *timate Witch?"
"Who — who are you?" Rintaro stammered.
"* *hida," she translucent girl answered. "I'm the D*o Ar* of Su*. , can you hear me?"
"You're sort of cutting out," Rintaro explained.
"I see. It's *ot v* clear on my end *ther," said the girl. "* connection * *ill unstable. But I have * * *reful not to attract the Hea* Prin —"
Rintaro opened his eyes. Gone was the translucent girl and the ruined city. Instead he saw the white ceiling of the apartment —
"Okarin!" Immediately Mayuri was upon him, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Are you alright now? Please tell Mayushi that you're not gonna jump off the balcony!"
"J-jump off the balcony?!" Rintaro repeated, sitting up on the sofa (when did he get there?). "Why would I do that?"
"Phew!" Rintaro turned to see a complete stranger sitting in one of the armchairs. The bald stranger took off the sunglasses he was wearing and beamed at him. "That's a relief. I don't think we can afford to put together another cyborg. That's my bit, anyway."
"Hooray!" Mayuri cheered. "Okarin's all better now, just like you said he'd be, Mister Kitty!"
"Mister…Kitty?"
Rintaro looked down. Sitting on the rug was…well, it looked like a white cat. But it didn't look like any cat that he'd ever seen before. It had a forked tail and small, pink beady eyes. And were those earrings of some sort?
"Listen to this, Okarin!" Mayuri exclaimed. "Mister Kitty helped save you with special magic! And he says I can do it too!" She looked into his eyes and smiled, her own eyes shining with intense, lively excitment. "He says I can become a magical girl!"