LOSING GRIP

THE MUTED LIGHT OF YET another cloudy day eventually woke me. I lay with my arm across my eyes, feeling every bit as miserable as the worst hangovers I'd survived thus far. Hazily, memories of the night before creeped through my waking mind. I rolled over onto my side with a moan, away from the light of the window, hoping more sleep would come. I was drifting off when I realized I couldn't smell the bucket that should be right below my face.

It's difficult to force my eyes open again, even just a peek. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the grey semi-darkness of my room, even as I try lethargically to blink more, clear my eyesight and see the red bucket. It's right where I assumed I'd last left it, but it looks like I'd never used it. It smells faintly of lemon-scented soap.

The smell is pleasant for my stomach, which I realize is still sensitive as I push myself upright. I was sure if I had anything in it I'd be having a very different morning. It rumbled delicately, as if it had heard my thoughts. I scowl at thin air.

And then a familiar giggle breaks through the silence of my bedroom, and I very nearly jump a mile high.

"Rosalie!" I realize, the flare of panic coming down to a groan as black spots dance in my vision. I'd stood up too fast. I drop back against my bed, and in a flash, she's at my side holding me gently. Her hands might as well have been ice packs against my arm and shoulder, but that was pleasant now. My body felt too hot, too tight, like I was coming down with the flu. "Wha—"

"Alice saw that you'd be sick all night." She says gently in way of explanation, and I can see her concern now as I become more aware of my surroundings. She must have been sitting in my desk chair. Had I not been dreaming last night? Her lips quirk. "It's not like I had any plans."

Mortification filled me. She'd dealt with my vomit. She'd dealt with me. I was pretty sure she was easily the last person on the planet I wanted to see that. "I think I'm coming down with something."

"It's not a fever." She tells me with cutting conviction. I must have looked confused, because she continued, lips stretching smugly. "I have a few medical degrees under my belt."

"Huh." I hadn't expected that, but it made sense. What else was she going to do with eternity? "Did you put a thermometer in me?"

My sudden new fear made her laugh. "I used your ear, don't worry. Though I'm pretty accurate at guessing skin-to-skin."

She demonstrated by placing the back of her icy hand against my forehead, and I couldn't help myself, leaning in with my eyes fluttered shut. "You like that?"

"I have a headache." I answer at her surprise. Her hand stays in place.

"You need to eat something." She breaks the silence after a long while, and I didn't notice I'd been drifting asleep sat upright. I didn't like the idea of food right now. She sighed. "Some plain toast first. No dairy."

"Yes Doc." I mumble. She chuckles.

"I'll go make some, lie down." Her words make me open my eyes, having to focus again in the semi-dark. She was already standing, facing me. "It'll be fine, everyone is still asleep. Except Edward."

The addition comes with an aggravated roll of her eyes and a finger aimed at her open mouth. I can't help but grin crookedly at her instant ire. "They didn't...?"

"God no." She shudders, genuinely revolted now. "I wouldn't be within a hundred miles of that. Besides, it's impossible."

I frown at that, clearly ready to ask questions because she cuts me off. "Not now. Toast first. I'll get your toothbrush and toothpaste so you can use the kitchen sink after."

I surrender to my very surprising babysitter, and she smiles triumphantly at the sagging of my shoulders, aware she had won her way. She walks out of my bedroom at human speed, but she doesn't make a single sound, twirling on her heel as she shut the door, mouthing 'see you'. I smile.

The toast stays down, but the nausea returns. Rosalie thinks it's food poisoning, and I feel lucky it seems to be the kind that's only a one-way street. She brings me Tylenol from the bathroom cabinet to help with my headache, and forces me to sip my way through a full glass of water, certain most of my symptoms were from dehydration. "Do I need to open the window?"

She shakes her head. "You're too weak for the cold."

I'm not weak, just a little drained, but I know there's no arguing with her. "I thought you couldn't take being in a room with me without ventilation."

"It gets easier when I have something to worry over. A distraction." She smiles, watching me from the desk. I'd noticed the distance she was keeping between us, but I could still feel the way her hands had felt on my skin. "I think I'm becoming more desensitized."

I hoped so. "Of course, windows are less dangerous. Being outside. Not being here at all."

Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. "How was the dance?"

"You think I'd go?" She shot me an incredulous look, and I chuckled at it. "I don't hate the very idea of them like Wexler, but the very idea of all those repulsive humans in one closed space..." She shuddered.

"And I don't qualify as a repulsive human?" I raise a brow at her, still amused.

"You know you don't." She rolls her eyes, impatient. "Where did Wexler take you yesterday? Your dress was very pretty."

I could feel my full body blush down to my toes. "You were watching?"

"I came over to see you. I didn't realize yesterday had gone so well with him." She admits casually, plucking at something on her sweater. "I wanted to distract you from the dance, but clearly you were distracted well enough."

"He was a good boy, he made up for his sins." I sigh, but I can't fight my smile. "You almost sound jealous of him."

"Please." She sneers with another droll roll of those pretty eyes. "I was merely upset you didn't have any time for me."

"You're very possessive over your friends, aren't you?" My amusement grows.

"I'm very possessive in general." She answers darkly, with pride. "Though I wasn't aware we had graduated to friends."

"Well, you complain all the time about your brother but you break the rules just as bad." I counter.

"It's your fault. You didn't have to be so interesting." Her words, though angry, make me grin with delight. She tilts her head, regarding me curiously. "You're so odd."

"I am?" I'm back to worrying with a flick of a switch.

"Yes." She laughs. "You look like an absolute angel, and yet you're so..."

"Devilish?" I joke.

"No." She snorts, grinning now. God was it dazzling when she grinned. Was I growing desensitized to her too? My stomach didn't flutter as much now, though it was probably still recovering from last night. "You're just...different from how you seem."

"Well looks can be deceiving." I shrug.

"I have heard that somewhere before." Her eyes glimmer. "Do you think you're good enough to venture outside?"

"The journey might take my life." My deadpan expression makes her giggle again. Ah, there were the butterflies. "I think I'd be fine for a walk. I don't want to mess up your leather interior, though."

"Let's not push our luck." She agreed. "I want to get out of the house before the lovebirds wake up and start talking."

"The forest?" I offer. She nods, smile easy.

"I'll wait outside." And then, she was gone.

I appreciated the privacy, though I worried over what Edward might hear every agonizing minute in the bathroom. Still, I didn't take long, the first one out of the house making my way around the truck to her in my usual hiking setup of backpack, boots and jacket.

She starts speaking as we cross the tree line. "I must confess, there are ulterior motives to stealing you for myself this morning."

I hated my traitor heart for thumping at the way she said that. "Oh?"

"Edward is bringing your sister to the house, to meet everyone." She reveals, and I raise a brow. "I excluded myself, of course."

"Oh."

"There's no point, really. My mood will ruin everyone's, but no one will care that I'm upset." She complains, that familiar snarl fixing on her features. I understood what she was upset about, but I couldn't understand why it still made her so mad. Like she said, the situation was out of our hands. There was no stopping Edward and Bella. They were in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love, and beyond any sense of sanity or safety. None of us could change that. "Edward will be relieved, of course, that I'm not there to say something to her."

"Do you blame her?" I'm a little surprised.

"No." She dismisses, too quickly. Then she hesitates, and sighs. "And yes."

"You hate her." I realize.

"I don't hate her." She rolls her eyes, scoffing. "Hate is too strong an emotion. Hate would imply I care."

"You said you hated me." My lips stretch upward.

"And I care, in equal measure. Enough to spend a perfectly good night dealing with your sick." She teases, drawling, and I glare playfully at her. I had gone red again. She laughs. "You know what upsets me."

"I know." I nod, watching where I step as we start going off trail. "It's valid."

"You think so?"

"I know I would feel the same way." I confess the thoughts I had considered carefully in the sanctity of my bedroom, late at night. "Don't get me wrong, the idea of forever is great. But the things you lose..."

"Eternity will never be enough for that price." Rosalie's eyes burn with despair, the wallowing pain so deep and so sudden in her perfect face that I stop stock still, overwhelmed. Her eyes are so tender then. "That's why I refuse to let you out of my sight."

I frown.

"Alice has had visions..." The confession sounds like it hurts her physically, her voice straining. "They're not set in stone, of course, none of her visions are. But in some, you never even get the chance to live. In others. you become one of us. I could never allow that."

My heart was racing in my ears. "Is it because of the Italians?"

She shakes her head. "Edward, in some. He loses control. Jasper, in most. Your scent is stronger than your sister's to everyone but Edward, though not even Carlisle can understand why. Emmett has experienced that before... but we were never there to compare."

"Though the way Edward speaks of it, your affect on us does not hold a torch to what he feels for her." She sneers at that, nose lifting in disgust. "It is just...more difficult, than most humans."

"And so I might very possibly die, and your psychic sister has seen it." I wrap up her explanation.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Her words drift, and her lips twitch. "Still not afraid of dying?"

"I'm more afraid of the latter." I admit honestly, and she frowns. "I imagine forever is a very haunting experience. Actually, I'll blame you and Edward for that. You two seem particularly miserable."

"I suppose." Rosalie considers, as we continue hiking. "But wouldn't you? Ever unchanging, living the same slice of life, over and over again. No family. No friends. Everyone you have ever loved you watch die, slowly, agonizingly slowly. Every minute a minute less. The decades don't blur past, you know. I'm convinced every year is so much longer than the last."

"I did say your feelings were valid." I tell her, my heart aching for her. "I think I'd miss children the most."

"Mmm." I can hear the utter longing in that singular, elongated hum alone. "I didn't think you'd think of them this soon."

"I love kids." I brighten up. "Especially the toddler years. I used to babysit a lot, it gave me baby fever pretty young. I've always wanted to be a young mother, like my mom. I get so many more years with — well, if Alice's visions don't come true."

"I'll make certain of it." Rosalie vows. "Every year I can afford you, I'll be there."

I blush. "Does that make us besties now?"

She rolls her eyes, but she's smiling again. "I want two. Two boys. I'd teach them everything, how to make music, how to make art, how to fix cars, how to treat girls right. By the time they're grown I'll have raised the first men in history who weren't dumb assholes."

She laughs at that. "I'm sure that'll be an accomplishment."

I smile, and we walk in silence for a little while. And then I get curious. "Did Alice see me coming? In her visions?"

Her reaction was strange. "Something like that." She said uncomfortably, turning away so I couldn't see her eyes. I watched her curiously. "Like I said, Alice's visions aren't always accurate. So many choices and so many factors can change everything."

"Guess the future really isn't set in stone." I joke, grinning at my own humor. She doesn't laugh. "So between Edward reading your mind and Alice telling you exactly what you're gonna do every day, how do you stay sane?"

"Oh you have no idea." She gives me an exasperated look, and I chuckle. "Jasper is the worst to deal with."

"Jasper?" I'm surprised.

"He can manipulate emotions." She explains. "And since I've been very upset very often lately, I've found myself suddenly suppressed at every given moment. It's entirely unfair that he should focus on me. We're on the same team, he's just as worried for our family as I am. The others think it's all sunshine and butterflies because Oh but Edward's finally in love, boohoo, they're going to get us killed."

"What's it like?" My question throws her off. "When Jasper uses his powers on you?"

"Gift, not powers." She corrects with amusement. "Like you're thinking about three thousand different ways to kill someone but suddenly they're as adorable as a golden retriever puppy, and you could never imagine doing anything to them."

"Wow." I blink.

"It only works so long as he keeps up his concentration." She explains. "And it doesn't work from a distance."

Well that was a slight relief. "You're right. Jasper's gift does sound the worst."

"Mmhmm." She steps gracefully over a moss-ridden thin trunk that has fallen over who knows when. She holds a hand out, ready for me, but I snort softly and make a show of hopping over it as confidently as I could manage. I hide how much my stomach twists at the sharp jump. She's amused. "You're much more well-coordinated than your sister."

"Bambi on ice, you mean." I joke, and she snickers. "I got all the hand-eye coordination and athleticism, she got all the brains and the emotional stability."

"You're smart." She argues.

"Only when it comes to Physics and cars." I shake my head. "I have to study twice as hard for everything else, and honestly? I wouldn't even try if I didn't care about college so much. Bella actually likes it."

"Well I don't think she's very emotionally stable if she's attracted to my brother." She snarks in a clipped tone, making me laugh.

"No, I guess not. Does it count as necrophilia, do you think?" I make her belly-laugh. "No, I meant that she's more...calm. Internal. I've always had a problem with my temper. I fly off the handle pretty easy."

"You're passionate." Rosalie disagrees, and I flush at her defending me so easily. My mind drifts to our fight in her garage, when she'd called me out on my worst insecurities. "And prideful. I don't think there's anything wrong with having some degree of ego."

"Well, Bella has very little of that." I consider.

"The girl has so little self-worth it's infuriating." She huffs. "I've never seen someone who lacks so much personality. She's the human version of a black hole."

I snort at that, grinning crookedly. "You know, that's my baby sister you're talking smack about. Keep it up and I might have to fight you. Defend her honor."

She giggles. "Like you could take me."

"I'll figure something out, blondie." I tease back, and her giggle turns into a laugh. I sigh. "I'll miss this."

"Hmm?"

"When you're gone." I continue, and she looks utterly perplexed. "You have to leave, don't you? Eventually? People would notice you don't change."

I chose my words carefully, not to hurt her. But she looks sad anyway. "Would you want me to stay?"

I shrug, trying not to look like I'd thought about it. "I dunno. You're very easy to talk to."

"I feel the same way." She smiles. "I could stay, you know."

"If this keeps working..." She continues at my raised brow. "I did tell you that I kept tabs on Vera her entire life. This time, I wouldn't have to do it in the shadows."

I smile at the thought of that. "I don't want you to suffer just to be near me."

"It's almost worth it for our little conversations. You're a good listener." She hums, and I swell with pride at that. "I can't remember the last time I talked to someone for this long, actually. Well, besides arguing."

I chuckle. "You know, you make yourself sound very unpleasant."

"I'm the worst." She smiles ruefully. "Probably why you like me so much, actually."

"Oh, don't even." I scoff and she laughs.

Hours later, we had taken a break seemingly nowhere. Rosalie had disappeared in a flash, returning with more toast this time, not trusting me to keep down anything else. The water was boiled and in a thermos flask I couldn't remember ever seeing in the house, so I wondered where she'd gone. I couldn't have been left alone more than a minute. My mind whirred with the very idea.

We sat by the little stream, me taking the tiniest bites possible of my toast, stomach displeased despite the cooling fresh air. The smell of mud seemed to be setting me off. Still, I manage not to invoke a repeat of the night before, and Rosalie seemed particularly smug about her skills in watching over me. I was telling her stories about Phoenix — she seemed to enjoy hearing my dumb stories. She had never been to a high school party before, but she seemed to be soaking in every detail as if she was trying to place herself in my memory.

And then, we have company.

Emmett Cullen appears out of thin air, and I can't help my little scream. He's already grinning roguishly, like he'd expected my reaction and was very pleased with the outcome. Rosalie glared at him on sight. "I hate to interrupt — "

"But you will anyway." Rosalie's venom surprises me. I'd heard her mad before, but never this. I turned back to Emmett, who seemed utterly immune. He seemed bigger somehow, in a plain white t-shirt that struggled to contain his shoulders. I couldn't fathom how Rosalie could look at this impossible man and see either of the Swan men I had known. There was nothing of Charlie Swan in him, except maybe the dark curls.

"Tch tch, play nice Rose, you'll scare your little human." Emmett scolds her playfully with a smirk. "There's a storm tonight. We're playing ball, come on."

"I'm not going." Rosalie announces as he turns. "Not if she's there."

"Rose..." Emmett groans, in absolute exasperation. "Please. Don't let her ruin game night. Just pretend she's not there or something!"

"So she will be there!" Rosalie stands, enraged. "Unbelievable! As if he hasn't done enough—"

"Rose." I cut her off, concerned by the way her voice was rising into a shriek. She turns to me, eyebrows furrowed, perfect lips pouting.

"Damn. What is with everyone?" Emmett breaks our little staring contest, looking utterly bewildered. "Okay come on, you can bring Grace. She'll keep you all warm and fuzzy, apparently."

Rosalie's death glare would be enough to ice over the Sahara. Emmett puts his giant hands up, already walking backwards. "Just be there, okay? I want even odds against the cheats."

And then he's gone. For a long while, Rosalie stands as still as a statue, and I watch her while I nibble more toast. It takes me a minute to understand why she looked so conflicted, swallowing before I speak. "I don't need to go, you know."

"It's not safe." She decrees.

I nod. "I mean, it's more fun playing against you guys in Gym. I know I can't lose."

She smiles at my wink, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Will you be all right, alone at home?"

"It's probably for the best." I wave off. "I'm too queasy for much anyway."

Her lips purse together briefly. "Tomorrow, I'm taking you to Carlisle after school. Get some tests done."

"It's just food poisoning." I try to protest, grumbling because it was such a lame human thing to experience.

"I'd like to be more certain." She insists. "I'd take you tonight if that didn't raise questions with your father."

I didn't like the idea of involving Charlie with anything to do with the Cullens. "Tomorrow."

"I'll come over tonight." She adds. "After the game. See how you're doing, bring some medicine."

I roll my eyes at her coddling. "I'm really fine, Rose, I'm not... what is it?"

She'd been grinning at me, and I'd been temporarily dazed and even more quickly annoyed at myself for being dazed. "That's the third time you've called me Rose."

We were back to blushing again. "Sorry."

"No, it's cute. I enjoy having this effect on you." She's so smug it hurts. "Come on, let's start getting you back safe and sound where the monsters can't get you."

"I'm pretty sure there were two in my house last night." I snark, but my joke falls flat. I know at once what I've said wrong as her face turns to stone. I sigh. "You know I don't think you're a monster, right?"

"No?" Her smile is bitter, cruel. "Well we must think very differently, then."

"Monsters don't help their victims get sick in buckets throughout the night." I try to lighten the mood again, and it half-works. "I know you hate what you are. I can see it. And I know nothing I can say will ever change your mind, but for what it's worth, I don't see you as any different. You're still living. The way you think, the way you feel, the things you see and hear. It's all the same. The world around you, it's still the same. I mean, sure, okay, so you get to experience it for a lot longer... but that doesn't make you any less alive."

"I'm dangerous." She argues, but it's soft. Weak.

"Yes." I agree wholeheartedly, and easily. "But you're still you, too. Your humanity still exists just as much as it had in 1930-whatever."

"1933." Rosalie's smiling again. "Maybe you should become a motivational speaker."

"Shut up." I blush, recognizing our moment was over. "I was trying to be deep."

"Thank you." I know she means it. "Don't hurt your pretty little head trying again."

I smiled goofily at that.

When I get home, it's pouring hard and there's no escaping it. Rosalie warns me that she has to leave because it was getting late, and then, like every time, she's gone without a trace. I try to get used to it, trudging up the path to the porch. It was already dark out, and I couldn't figure out why it took us so long to make our way back. Maybe we'd taken a different route, or maybe Rosalie had done it on purpose, delaying the inevitable. She seemed to really hate the idea of playing baseball with Bella around. I don't think we shared the same fears, I was far more concerned about how Bella was going to survive playing ball than playing with the Cullens.

I just catch the tail-end of Bella and Charlie's conversation as I come in through the door.

"You're playing baseball?"

"Well, I'll probably watch most of the time."

"You must really like this guy."

"Oh she's obsessed." I supply as I come into the kitchen, my dripping coat hanged up already.

"You knew about this?" Charlie turned to me, clearly upset.

"Snitches get stitches Dad." I make Bella smile, shooting her a wink as I make my way across to fix myself more toast. The smell of fried fish was already doing very bad things for my weakened constitution. "What's this I hear about baseball?"

"I'm going on a date with Edward and his family." Bella supplied, squinting. "I thought you were invited."

"I was?" I feign ignorance. "Tell Edward I said thanks, but I'm still not feeling great."

"But you went hiking?"

"The fresh air did me good. Fish fry did not." I wave the light toast in the air, making my way back out the kitchen. "You have fun, Bells!"

The toast doesn't last long, and I blame the smell of fish and oil. I've hardly finished eating it in my room when I have to bolt for the toilet again. I take a shower while I'm up there, just wanting the day to be over already. A part of me understood I was waiting to see Rosalie again.

Bella's gone when I come back down, and Charlie looks somewhere in between bitter and amused. He glances over the couch at me when I pass. "He's a looker."

"The whole family is." I chuckle. "I thought you liked the Cullens."

I get a low grumble in response. The phone rings, and I loop back to get it, hair still in a towel. I hoped it was Adam, but I'm quickly disappointed. "Gracie?"

"Oh hey Jess." I know what I'm in for, getting comfortable on the steps. "How was the dance?"

"Wait, you first, why weren't you there?" She's buzzing on the other end of the line. I chuckle. "I kept waiting for you to show up! Was it because of Adam? Bella said you were sick."

"I am sick." I answer honestly. "But it wasn't that, I was feeling a little better yesterday. Adam came over to apologize on Friday—"

"—I knew it! He skipped gym, he was kinda out of it all day. Okay what did he say? What did he do?"

"He was soaked to the bone." I swooned. "Pouring rain. He had a rose — it's on my bookshelf. Do you know anything about flowers? It's kinda limp, I'm trying to make it survive a week at least. Anyway we hugged on the porch and he said he couldn't sleep because he was so mad at himself for making me sad."

"Oh my god it's like a movie." Jess groaned lowly, clearly pleased. "I mean, you could dry it out. Press it into a diary or something."

"I like that, thanks Jess." I perk up at her advice. "Anyway, I spent all of yesterday with him. How was the dance?"

"So much fun." She gushed, and I twinged with envy. Now that my gossip was over, she launched into a minute-by-minute account of the previous night. With every line I grew dizzier with jealousy. There was nothing I wished more for in that moment than to turn back time and go to the dance. Maybe it would've been worth it to show up alone, even. I'd missed out on Mike kissing Jess, on Tyler and Lauren having a huge blow out fight over spilling punch on Lauren's dress, Ben Cheney asking Angela to dance. "I think he's her secret crush! I don't know why I never saw it before, they're both kinda nerdy, right? Like it's cute. I didn't think it would be, but it totally was. And he's like half her height but somehow I'm still rooting for it."

"I know." I chuckle. "I might be a little responsible for that."

"What?!"

"It happened... actually I can't remember how long ago it was." I frown. "But it was a little after Edward and Bella in Port Angeles, you know? Like I'd just started talking to him, a little, like we were friendly. Anyway Edward saw Ben and Angela talking and they were making eyes at each other so we decided to play cupid in Spanish. Ben sits behind me and Adam, and Edward and Emmett sit in front of us. We sort of talked really loud about Edward asking Angela out but not wanting to because I'd heard Ang talk about having a crush on some guy called Ben Cheney."

"Oh my god!"

"It totally worked! You should've seen how shocked he was, and then he got kinda mad like he didn't want Edward to steal his girl. It was so cute." I gush. "I'm so glad he did something. I hope he asks her to Prom."

"I hope so too." She rushed. "Wait, back up, since when are you so close to Edward Cullen?"

"Are you kidding?" I snark, and she giggles. "Now tell me about Mike's kiss! Was it good? Where did he do it? Was it in front of everyone?"

"No, he took me outside — that's good, right? Lauren thinks it's good."

"It's great." I assure her. "That means he wanted it to be private, special. Just between you guys. He wasn't doing it to impress anybody."

"I mean, it wasn't great." She confesses, voice lower, and I giggle. "But it's gotta get better, right?"

"Boys need practice." I joke, and she snickers. "You gotta teach them everything. Don't worry, I'm still working on mine."

"Did you spend today with Adam too?" She's curious. "I called your house twice, no one picked up."

"No, I went on a hike. Everyone else was out." I admit, wondering if I'd missed Adam's call. I should probably try him after I was done with Jess. "I really have been sick. I've been puking my guts out, the smell of any food sets me straight off. All I've kept down is plain toast. I figured the fresh air would do me good, but no dice. I literally just went again. I think I'm gonna go to the hospital tomorrow, get myself checked out."

"You don't think you're pregnant, do you?" Her words make me freeze, ice cold.

"... Gracie?"

I blink, shaking out of it. "No, no I can't be." Could I? When was my last...oh my god, I'm late. The horror coursed right through me. "Oh my god, Jess."

"Don't panic." She reassures me quickly. "Just get a test at the grocery store."

"Adam works at the grocery store!" I remind her with a hiss. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"Gracie, breathe!" She cuts in as I hyperventilate. "Just relax. I'll get a test tomorrow, bring it over after school. I won't tell anyone."

"You'd do that for me?" I frown. Maybe I'd underestimated Jess.

"Of course." She promises. "I mean, I owe you one, right? Probably a dozen, actually. My car's been doing this weird thing with the exhaust—"

"I'll fix it." I promise with a laugh. "Thanks Jess."

"No problem." And then a pause. "What're you gonna do, you know, if you are?"

"I don't want to think about it." I say, but I couldn't actually think of anything else. "Let's wait until tomorrow when we know, right?"

"I'll get a couple. My mom thought she was a few years ago and she said sometimes the test's wrong so you gotta do a few to be sure." She explains. "You can pay me later."

"I will, tomorrow. Thanks Jess. You're a lifesaver."

"Wait, who was Bella out with all day?" She backtracked.

"Oh, um..." I don't know what Bella would want me to say. "I don't know. She was already gone when I woke up. Maybe she went to the library."

"Ew." I giggle at her distaste. "You guys are so different."

"I know." I sighed. At least Bella didn't have to worry about teen pregnancy. Oh god I hope I'm not. "When are you and Mike going out again?"

"I was thinking of asking him to a movie on Tuesday, but I can't decide between the Miss Congeniality sequel or that Vin Diesel one that's been out for a while. There's this other one called Ice Princess, too, that could be fun."

"Or you could watch the second Ring movie and you can use it as an excuse to be all over him."

I could hear her shudder. "Absolutely not. That first one kept me awake for weeks, I am so not going through that again."

I laugh. "Well, maybe ask him which one he wants to see. Like leave it open. Just ask him if he wants to go see a movie on Tuesday. I kinda wanna go see The Aviator re-release."

"Is that the DiCaprio movie?" I hum. "I never watched it, it seemed kinda heavy. It won an Oscar, right?"

"A couple." I confirm. "Cate Blanchett's Katherine Hepburn in it, I didn't catch it when it came out in Phoenix. I'm kinda really into Old Hollywood."

"Is that Audrey Hepburn's daughter or something?"

"No." I laugh. "No, they're not related at all. Actually, I think the movie's set in the 1930s or something." I knew it was. I'd read all about it.

"Wait, when was Audrey Hepburn?"

"'50s, I think." I consider. "I gotta go, Jess. I need to blow out my hair before I go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll see you in Trig." She promised. "Try not to freak out about, you know, okay?"

"I won't." I'm certain.

"Are you gonna tell Adam?"

"After the test." I insist. I didn't want to call him anymore, he'd probably hear something was off. "Good night Jess."

"Night Gracie."

I had been fast asleep when I heard quick rapping on my window, jolting me awake. It was too dark to make out who it was, but I assumed Rosalie, who had said she would come over with medicine. I hadn't actually planned on falling asleep.

I only have to undo the latch. Suddenly, with a cold waft of air, she's by my bedside. Another blink, and my bedroom lights are on, and she's storming back over to lean over me and shut my window. In my delirious half-asleep state, I try not to panic at her abrupt invasion of my personal space. "Wha— Rose, what're you— "

"Get up. Get dressed." Her tone scares me. "We have a problem."

Another blink, and she's no longer there, rifling through my closet instead. I struggle to catch the clothes she throws my way. "Have you been crying?"

Yes. "What happened?"

"I told you the baseball game was going to be a disaster." She ground out, furious. "Three of our kind showed up, nomads. The other kind."

I shivered. "There was a confrontation, and now one of them wants to hunt your sister."

"What?" I panic at once. "Where is she? What are we— "

"Hey, hey hey hey, breathe." She was in front of me again, blurry in my tear-filled vision, cold hands cupping my cheeks and numbing my face. "She's well-protected, but I have to get you out of here, all right? He'll follow her scent here, to you. No one can know you exist."

"Charlie?" I ask, hopelessly.

"He's asleep on the couch, waiting for Bella to come home." Her expression darkens. "The others will handle it. You need to be out of the state in the next fifteen minutes."

"I'm not going anywhere if Charlie's not safe." I'm adamant, priorities shifting. "And I'm not leaving my sister."

"I'm not giving you a choice, Grace." Her voice is hard, but her eyes are pleading.

I knew very well I couldn't fight her. "Please."

Her jaw clenches. She hesitates, and then she speaks. "This only works if I get you out of here now."

"Charlie will think I'm missing."

"I. Don't. Care."

She accepted leaving a note. I was over at Jess' house, I left while Charlie was asleep. She had a friend emergency. I knew Jess would assume I was at Adam's if Charlie called and cover for me, especially with what she knew about my potential surprise. Rosalie makes sure I'm bundled up heavily in heavy-winter wear, helping me out of my own window — and then I don't know what happens. All I know is that it's too cold and the wind is too loud in my ears, and I'm squeezing my eyes shut so hard I can see stars. And then, just like that, we're at a truck stop. I puke the minute my boots hit tarmac, thankfully missing Rosalie.

She sighs. "What am I going to do with you?"

Rosalie takes me to the bathrooms to clean myself up, and then, while I wait outside, she flashes in and out of the ratty gas station convenience store much too fast to have paid for her bagful of things. She dangles a set of keys in between her fingers, smirk triumphant, and then we walk casually to a blue BMW. And we're gone.