One month of training saw Tsukiko's skills (and general fatigue) rise even in just that short amount of time. Where she had once dreaded waking up to morning training, she now accepted it, even willingly after a good night's rest. Her Kido abilities had remained much the same, but what she could do had become more refined, especially now that she knew to keep her muscles "spry," as Captain Kuchiki had said the one time he'd spoken to her directly since Emi's invasion. Her Hakudo had suddenly become passable, and she even once clipped the blasé Honda's chin, bringing a grimace and then a sneer to his usually bored expression.

Yes, she paid dearly after that, but her little victory was one she cherished and viewed as a mark of her exposure to the "big dogs."

Even her swordsmanship had developed. Certainly not her best skill, Tsukiko was able to hold her own longer than ten minutes now, something she knew would aid her greatly if she were to face a stronger opponent than a sparring partner or Emi when they were able to train together.

However, the one thing Tsukiko was most concerned about remained the same: sword meditation. For all her efforts, she still couldn't grasp the meditation basics or focus long enough to feel much of anything about her innermost power. Admittedly, no other rookie was capable of such resonance, but at least after their meditation sessions they walked away feeling, as they put it, "better, at peace, like I could run a mile." They couldn't all be lying, could they?

"Eh, they probably are," Emi had told her the day before, casually lying on her side in the Squad Six barracks. Tsukiko was sitting on her bed, sewing together a hole that had appeared in what she still considered a new shihakusho.

"I know lying is normal where you come from, but I think you're wrong there," Tsukiko responded, pulling the needle through to close a new stitch.

"Well, I for one won't lie when I say that you're doing your best, so you probably have nothing to worry about." Emi pulled her leg up and scratched her ankle. "Or just make stuff up. No one will know the difference."

"I'm not that good an actress," Tsukiko said, rolling her eyes, but then she stopped. "Emi, what does it feel like when you meditate?"

Emi shrugged. "I feel like I'm getting tired, to be honest, but then there's like a pulse…. I don't really know how to describe it."

"A pulse?"

"Yeah. It's like actual electricity though." Emi sat up and crossed her legs. "I know that's kinda vague, but it feels like lightning or something. It doesn't last long, just a little flash, but it's not me catching myself falling asleep. I don't even jolt. It's like in my heart."

"Sure that's not just a heart palpitation?"

Emi snorted. "I've seen your captain at close range. Believe me, after that I know when I'm about to have a heart attack. Speaking of…."

On she went asking Tsukiko for the latest news on Captain Kuchiki. She'd had an absolute field day when Tsukiko told her about Captain Kuchiki giving her a direct critique, but after that, the most to report was nothing out of the ordinary. If anything, after that Tsukiko felt that Captain Kuchiki was avoiding her. She couldn't be that important to ignore—it was probably just him attending to literally everything else in his life—but it sometimes felt that if she were walking one way and Captain Kuchiki the other, he'd turn right back around so they didn't pass each other. Did he forget something? Did he see someone else behind her that he was actually avoiding? Did she just smell really bad? Whatever it was, Tsukiko didn't let herself dwell on it too much.

Schedule's packed enough as it is, she always reminded herself.

As part of that schedule, one day during her rare free time, Tsukiko went on the hunt not for her captain, but her lieutenant. She'd made it a point not to raise her head above her squad fellows after the staring incident, though whether because he'd chosen to move on or simply forgotten about it, Lieutenant Abarai didn't treat her any different than the other squad members.

Well, he didn't treat her any different than the other rookies. Lieutenant Abarai was definitely gruff, but Tsukiko sensed he wanted to make the new recruits feel welcome. He'd bark out a critique on a rookie's stance, endurance, anything, then immediately advise them on how to improve. At other times, he'd watch as Captain Kuchiki berated another rookie on their parries, then swoop in and tell them what to fix for next time before backing away, like he'd offered no such support.

Sometimes, when she was waiting in the brief lull between consciousness and sleep, Tsukiko let herself wonder if Lieutenant Abarai's tattoos were meant to disguise his softer side.

Thanks mostly to his height and trademark hair, Tsukiko quickly found Lieutenant Abarai presiding over an impromptu sparring session between two ranked squad members who'd been permitted to unleash their Shikai.

"Lieutenant Abarai," Tsukiko said, bowing when he turned to her.

"Rookie," he said, glancing at her bow. "You're Hoku som'n or other, right?"

Tsukiko nodded. "Hokutan, sir."

"I will probably forget that, but Hokutan, yes." Lieutenant Abarai's eyes shifted from one sparring Shinigami to the next. "Finally come to tell me you want out of our little piece of hell?"

Tsukiko smiled lightly. "Even if I wanted to, I think I'd stick around just to see real Shinigami at work." She nodded in the direction of the sparring match. "I mean, I might be a 'real Shinigami' myself, but it's fascinating and so informative to see experienced people at work."

"Eh, most of the time we're really just bumbling idiots. It's learning to hide it that's the real trick." Lieutenant Abarai let out a quick smirk. "But what can I do for ya?"

Tsukiko sighed. "It's actually about that, being a 'bumbling idiot.'" She smiled sheepishly.

Lieutenant Abarai raised a tattooed eyebrow at her and crossed his arms. "You didn't burn up Captain Kuchiki's flower garden, did you?"

"Oh, gods no!" Tsukiko said. She had only stepped through that area of Squad Six headquarters once, though she knew it was a common place for the squad members to relax, so long as they kept quiet. "It's just…I feel like I'm not advancing quickly enough."

"Ah, the classic woe," Lieutenant Abarai said. "You're doing fine, rookie. No one expects you to be lord of the sword on day one."

"I know, sir, but…." Tsukiko looked away. "I've seen a difference in just about all my skills since I got here, but I still can't get the hang of meditating. It's like I can't get it to work or I relax too much and fall asleep or whatever."

Lieutenant Abarai nodded. "I understand," he said, "but I also think that you're being too hard on yourself."

Tsukiko rolled her eyes, but quickly stood up straighter, not wanting to offend her superior.

Lieutenant Abarai pivoted to eye her full on. "You can be at the top of your class in every subject at the Academy and still be the worst in your squad. I'm not saying that to discourage you, but to tell you that you're not the only one in this position. You're exactly where you need to be."

Tsukiko eyed her superior. His words were sincere, and his bright eyes, just beginning to show signs of crow's feet, even more so.

"As for sword meditation and all that, well." He shrugged. "Would you believe me if I said I'm still not—HEY, NO HEAD SHOTS, WE NEED YOU JACKASSES FOR THE REAL DEAL!" Lieutenant Abarai marched onto the training field and gestured angrily at the sparring squad members.

Tsukiko, her heart beating fast from the sudden outburst, gazed wide-eyed at her lieutenant. Where his words were just sincere, they were now ferocious, and his eyes adjusted to match this new emotion. His volume and profanity perhaps unnecessary, it was still apparent that this man was a leader, and a powerful one at that. Authority radiated from him, an effortless reflex like the unsheathing of a sword before a foe.

In slow motion, Lieutenant Abarai turned back to face her. She watched as within the span of a blink, his frustration melted away, the reflex returned to its sheath, in its place now the open, bright jasper eyes with their hint of age.

"What were we talking about?" Lieutenant Abarai asked, standing back next to her at regular speed.

Tsukiko forced herself to swallow and, more importantly, look away from her lieutenant. "Uh, sword meditation…" she said, looking what she hoped seemed casually at the grass at her feet.

"Oh, right," Lieutenant Abarai said. "Like I said before these idiots rudely interrupted me, I'm still not a pro at sword meditation, but that's because I never will be. Sword meditation is a skill you only ever build, not master."

Tsukiko nodded, moving her hair to cover her face and the deep blush tinging her pale face.

"But you don't need to worry about that right now. What you should do is be honest with yourself." He gently punched her arm. "Admit that it's okay not to have everything in the bag after only a month post-Academy."

Nodding again, Tsukiko carefully smiled at her superior, hoping with all her being that her blush had abated even a little. "Yes, Lieutenant Abarai. It's okay that I'm not Kami-sama Hokutan."

"Exactly, and count yourself lucky that you're not ONE OF THE HYENAS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPAR WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER!"

Tsukiko allowed herself a laugh as her sparring squad fellows, both now bearing shallow wounds, rapidly apologized. She forced herself to watch the blood bloom on one's collar, the cause of the latest reprimand, so she wouldn't blush again at their lieutenant.

Once Lieutenant Abarai had calmed, Tsukiko bowed, ignoring his protests at the show of respect. "Thank you for your advice, Lieutanant Abarai," she said. "A rookie like me is lucky to receive the words of her superior."

Lieutenant Abarai waved his hand. "Don't mention it," he said. "I'd be a pretty crappy leader if I didn't actually lead, amirite?"

Tsukiko grinned. "I suppose you're right." She turned to leave.

"Ooh, damn, forgot the most important thing," Lieutenant Abarai said. He waited for Tsukiko to face him and said, "One thing you can try is ignoring the sword completely. You haven't unlocked it yet, so it's really just an object, which means you should meditate on just yourself." He tilted his head back. "Give that a shot and let me know how it goes."

Tsukiko nodded quickly and bowed again, this time to hide the blush that just wouldn't leave her. "Thank you again, Lieutenant Abarai," she said. "I'll leave you to the hyenas now." She turned away as he laughed.

She'd definitely made the right choice going to her lieutenant. There was zero judgement in his advice and presence, and he'd made it a point to listen. Thinking about getting the same treatment from Captain Kuchiki nearly made her laugh, but her thoughts quickly circled back to Lieutenant Abarai. He taught her about sword meditation, but that wasn't all she'd learned.

Lieutenant Abarai definitely wasn't a Zanpaku-to, but Tsukiko suddenly felt she knew what Emi had meant about a "pulse." She'd felt one just minutes ago, when Lieutenant Abarai displayed his authority.

Right in her heart.

Later that night, as Tsukiko was about to turn the corner from the barracks to the showers, she heard voices speaking in the hall up ahead. She paid them no mind until she distinctively heard the name "Hokutan," and turning quickly toward the showers, she pressed herself against the wall to listen in.

"…will help her," she heard Lieutenant Abarai say. "Want me to do it?"

"No," Captain Kuchiki—oh gods, the captain?—responded. "I will do this myself."

"But don't you think it'll look a little suspicious if you—?"

Captain Kuchiki's voice darkened. "Abarai, as captain of Squad Six it is my responsibility to ensure the success and development of my squad members. Where I recognize a need for additional support to guarantee these two things, I act, and I act as I see fit. Do not tell me my actions are irrational or that I must defend them. I am your superior, and in return for my desiring your success, I demand your respect."

Lieutenant Abarai mumbled an apology and bid the captain a good night, to no response. One of them started walking in her direction—it had to be Captain Kuchiki, Lieutenant Abarai's steps were louder—and Tsukiko pressed herself flatter against the wall. Thankfully, Captain Kuchiki continued straight past the hall leading to the showers, not seeing her at all.

Tsukiko's heart pounded in rhythm with the questions appearing in her mind. What was Captain Kuchiki planning for her, and what would he help her with? Sword meditation, perhaps, if Lieutenant Abarai had initiated the help? But if whatever he wanted to do was so problematic with him as a captain, why did Captain Kuchiki volunteer in the first place? Wasn't he the living embodiment of status quo?

Tsukiko would be lying if she said she wasn't a little disappointed that Lieutenant Abarai wouldn't be the one to help her.

Apprehensive yet eager for tomorrow, Tsukiko showered and scurried into bed. But unlike all other nights, she fell asleep much slower. Thoughts of training with Captain Kuchiki left her mind racing, though soon enough, she shifted to remembering Lieutenant Abarai's disciplining her squad fellows. In place of dwelling on his tattoos, she imagined training with him and having his captivating power aimed right at her, sending tight shivers down her spine, and lower, until exhaustion at last carried her away.