Miriam POV
Today October 1st was the day! I looked at my calendar and smiled. feeding tube out at 3:30 pm. I wheeled myself excitedly into school. I greeted my friends. "Hi, Miriam. How are you this morning?" Abby asked. "I'm amazing Abby. I couldn't be better. I'm so excited to get my feeding tube out after school." "I bet you are" "What is the first solid food you are going to eat?" Priya wondered. " My favorite of course donuts from Tim Hortons." "But Miriam You're diabetic" Tyler stated. "I can have donuts as long as I take my Insulin," I informed him.
After a very long day of school, it was time for the appointment! Tobias would be taking me and we would meet mom there. The other kids had a sitter to watch them and pick them up from school. When we got to the doctor my mom checked me in and we waited for me to call in
Miriam! A nurse called. It was my turn and I was so excited. They weighed me on the chair scale and wrote it down for the doctor. When the doctor came in he had a very disappointed look on his face. "How many tube feeds did you give her each day?" He asked my mom. "I gave her 2 that's what they prescribed." My mom explained. "She is still 20 pounds underweight," He said. "We need to increase her amount of feed per day and she can see us again in 3 weeks." He instructed. I could feel my face drop like dropping a coin in the water. "Ok," My mom sighed.
My mom helped me in her car. I was supposed to get my haircut afterward to celebrate but I was too sad and disappointed to go. "Miriam This doesn't mean you can't get your haircut" She brushed my cheek. "Forget it, mom, everyone will stare at me and I'm tired of it!" I snapped. "Honey 3 weeks will go fast" She assured me. "NOT WHEN EVERYONE IN PUBLIC STARES AT ME!" I scream. "Miriam, it doesn't matter what other people think." She consoled me. "But it does." a tear slid down my cheek. "What's Brian going to say?" I burst into tears. "I will talk to him honey," She replied. "However it doesn't matter what others think. '' She wiped my tears. "Brian is right, I do look like a dying person." I sob. "DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF MIRIAM '' My mom yelled. I started sobbing even harder. My mom took a deep breath "Miriam I'm sorry it's just that I don't want you to feel you look ugly ok?" She apologized. I nodded and we started to drive home. I didn't speak for the whole car ride home.
When we got home I Immediately went into my room and aggressively put 1 True Love in my cd player and turned it on. I then angrily roll over to my bed and transfer to it. I ripped Miracle from the bottom of my bed, wrapped myself in my skateboard blanket, and started sobbing. STOP BEING SUCH A WIMP MIRIAM! I thought in my head. My sobbing got even more intense. CUT IT YOU BIG BABY YOU'RE OVERREACTING. I said in my brain. I couldn't control myself. I was sobbing uncontrollably. I then realized I wasn't going to feel better until I sobbed it all out.
After dinnertime and finally pulling myself back together. I received a text from Mei. " Hi, Miriam. How do you feel to finally have your tube off your face." She asked. "Mei, it didn't go well and I would rather not talk about it." I texted back. "Ok Miriam I'm Sorry" She replied. "It's ok,'' I responded.
The next day at school was very awkward. "Miriam, What Happened?" Abby wondered. "Did your appointment get canceled?" Tyler questioned. "Why do you have a feed going right now you never did at this time" Pried Priya. " I have to keep it in for three more weeks and now I have to get 4 feeds a day instead of 2." I sighed. "Hey, it will go fast," Mei said, rubbing my hand. I took a deep breath and nodded, taking her advice.
Three weeks had passed and I got it out. I got my haircut down to my ears. I had never felt more confident.