A/N: For those of you who didn't understand the joke about Heavy Metal's real name, I'll explain. His real name is Sherman R. Guderian, and it's three references in one:

1. Union Army General William Tecumseh Sherman was the Commanding General of the U.S. Army during the Civil War. He is best remembered for his strategic successes and scorched earth tactics against the Confederate States.

2. During World War 2, the U.S. fielded several variants of the M4 Medium Tank. The British gave the M4 the name Sherman in honor of General Sherman.

3. Heinz Guderian was a German General on the Eastern Front during World War 2. He is best remembered for being One of the greatest tank strategists of the War, as well as being one of the pioneers of Blitzkrieg (Lightning War) tactics.

So now You know! And knowing is half the battle!

Ok, enough with the history lesson, on with the show!!!

6. If Beach Head is cheerful and happy early in the morning, PT will be hellish and painful.

Now this rule is pretty obvious, but I still believe that I should explain the reason why it exists...

It was a fine early spring day, and the Joes were making their way out to the dreaded obstacle course. Most had already begun stretching as they waited for PT to begin.

"I can't wait to get this over with.", grumbled Falcon.

"It's a necessary evil, Falcon.", said Steeler, "We may be the best but we gotta stay that way."

"Hence the extreme exercises, courtesy of our beloved Sergeant Major.", Ripcord added sarcastically.

"Speak of the Devil, where is Beach Head?", asked Rock 'n Roll.

"Maybe he stopped to put on deodorant?", said Clutch.

"Doubt it.", said Ace, "This is Beach Head we're talking about."

"Well, I sure wish Baron von Stinkypits would hurry up.", grunted Leatherneck, " 'Cause I got me a hot date tonight that I need to get ready for!"

"Who are the lucky ladies, Rosie Palmer and the Five Finger sisters?", snickered Wet-Suit.

Everyone started to laugh as Leatherneck prepared to strangle Wet-Suit when Beach Head finally arrived. They couldn't help but stare because the Ranger had his balaclava rolled up just below his hairline, and even odder, he was smiling.

"Good Mornin' y'all!", he said cheerfully, "Ah do hope y'all had a nice night's sleep?"

"Uuuh, Yup?", said a confused Bazooka. Since when did Beach Head start smiling?

"Good! Ah'm glad ta hear that. Ah know Ah sure had a good night's sleep.", said Beach Head, "But Ah'm worried about y'all."

"Wow Beach, we didn't know you cared.", chuckled Clutch.

"Oh Ah do care, Clutch! That's why Ah push y'all so hard.", he answered, "And Ah'm worried because onna y'all didn't get enough sleep last night."

The Joes all looked at each other with concern. That sort of thing could be detrimental to a combat unit.

"Now y'all probably wonderin' how Ah know this. Well four your information, someone, Ah don't know who, pranked Me last night.", Beach Head said as he continued to grin.

Now the Joes were worried, and Beach Head's unusually cheerful demeanor was making them even more uncomfortable.

"What happened Beach Head?", asked Shipwreck, dreading the answer.

Beach Head's smile grew wider, "Oh nothin' too major, Shipwreck. It's just that while Ah was sleepin' somebody gave me this.", he said as he fully removed his balaclava.

Everyone's jaws hit the ground as they saw Beach Head's rarely seen hair, which was now bright pink instead of its usual blonde!

To their credit, the usual team goofballs didn't laugh. The others however, crumbled into fits of laughter. Beach Head waited until they stopped laughing before continuing.

"Ah'm glad y'all find this funny,", he said, "now it's Mah turn to laugh. NOW BEAT YER GAWDDAMNED FACES INTO THE DIRT!!! THEN HIT THAT OBSTACLE COURSE, NOW!!!", his usual glare returned along with his yelling.

THREE HOURS LATER...

"Ugh, my legs feel like they're gonna fall off.", groaned Falcon.

"Me too.", added Barbecue.

"When I find out who dyed Beach's hair pink and got us forced tho do six hundred push ups and two hours of running the obstacle course, I'm gonna use them for target practice.", snarled Lady Jaye.

Meanwhile aboard the U.S.S Flagg, two unlikely pranksters were laughing at their prank on Beach Head.

"That'll teach the Sergeant Major to saddle us on a recon mission with a bunch of chatterbox greenshirts, eh Snakes?", chuckled Deep-Six.

Snake-Eyes gave his partner a thumbs up as he shook in silent laughter.

A/N: I like to think that Snake-Eyes and Deep-Six would be good buddies because they're both the strong silent types.

Up next, Rule 7!