Subaru pulled the carriage from Heinkel's camp, transporting a selective quality of corpses. Roy and Ley were inside the carriage with the bodies. Louis rode on the top, sitting and chatting with her elder brother.

"-Yes Louis, they're staying in there!" Subaru declared as Louis laughed at his outburst, it made him pull the carriage faster. "Maybe then they'll think twice of following Capella's orders when I told Roy not to do that! It's bad enough he dragged Ley into this mess - even though he knows better - and somehow got you mixed up in all this!"

"There's always a silver lining, isn't that what you always say, Big Brother?" Louis mused, enjoying the breeze in the warm sun as her golden hair swayed in the wind. "At least you're getting some much-needed exercise, tsu."

"I'm not that unhealthy," Subaru defended, even though his passive abilities at this point made him immune to the detrimental effects of his more hazardous meals. "I did go on a vegan diet for a while."

"We find that absurd," Louis refused to believe Subaru would deny having some form of variety in his meals. "Being prohibited from eating certain foods doesn't sound like you, tsu."

"Which is why my vegan diet didn't last very long."

"Because of the lack of variety, tsu?"

"No, I stopped because I ran out of vegans to eat… and they tasted terrible. Apparently, people who don't eat meat and other animal products are those in poverty, and no one in this world has a damn clue about proper nutrition either; they were all malnourished - barely had any meat on them! It is stuff like that which makes me wish I had my ordinary life back so that I could cook with my mom again."

"I thought you had a hard time tasting anything," Louis said. "With your superior cooking, it seems like a waste of time eating someone else's food, tsu."

The carriage came to an abrupt halt so sudden that Louis nearly fell off. When she rebalanced herself, she saw her older brother stare at her with a serious look - a foreign sight rarely seen in contrast to his happy personality.

"...Louis, I'd chop off my limbs if it meant I could spend time with my parents again."

Everyone's story has a beginning, a middle, and an end; Subaru's story began in the middle.

"It wasn't as good as I thought it would be..." Subaru let out a sigh as he put his spoon down and just stared at his food in boredom. That little spark of hope Subaru had was snuffed out, and it only made the pain worse.

Hope in Subaru's life came and went like a dying candle, an illuminating motivation that gives him a reference of brightness so he can fully experience the darkness that would follow when that light was snuffed out.

It was some time ago that Subaru fully understood how his parents were patient with his shut-in behavior; never raising their voice, always trying to encourage him to get his life back together. He realized that if they are this loving and supportive as with his current behavior, they're not going to do anything rash or be against him for being emotionally honest.

So for what seemed like the first time in forever, Subaru went up to his father, Natsuki Kenichi, and had a heart-to-heart discussion. While Subaru's self-loathing had disappeared while he started to value himself more, he still didn't go back to school immediately as his father wanted his son to get his mind back in order before he went out into the world again.

But it was then Subaru's mother, Natsuki Naoko, realized how bad their son's lingering depression had affected him as time went on.

Subaru's sense of taste and smell was beginning to deteriorate.

It was barely noticeable, and an easy problem that Subaru solved - an extra pinch of salt here, a bit of sauce there - but as his tolerance for spices grew, so did his excess of using them. When the last sensation of his taste bugs dulled away - and when the aroma became barely noticeable unless he focused on it and took in a deep inhale through his nose - eating food felt like a chore.

What tasted amazing to others, Subaru could barely savor it - and when he was eating normal foods or snacks, Subaru's mind could only notice the texture of the meal as its taste, for him, was nonexistent.

The moment Subaru realized he can never fully enjoy the previous meals he once loved ever again his mental state only became worse. He felt numb. Indifferent as eating a hearty home-cooked meal cooked by his mom was no different than something bought from a convenience store; they were bland and disappointing.

Slowly, the lack of stimulation caused him to stop caring about eating until the hunger pangs got to a point where he couldn't sleep at night. In those times of starvation, Subaru's mind would drift back to a happier time where he could taste and smell the meals in the past, and an echo of flavor and scent would pass through his tongue and mouth.

It was enough to give him hope, that maybe if he could make the foods he craved, he could finally have a satisfying meal.

It would work for a time, as Subaru poured his heart and soul into cooking his food - fueled by creative passion and a steady flow of hope - he would spend hours in the kitchen sweating and aching to complete, what would be in his mind, the perfect dish.

And in that first bite of heavenly goodness, Subaru was able to taste in what seemed like an eternity. The flavor flowing around in his mouth was so potent that it was close to being painful. The sensation of satiety filling his very being made him feel alive and warm - and in that moment of divine bliss, Subaru was able to relax and be at peace.

Until the taste dulled after a few more bites.

Excitement turned into disappointment. The taste of exotic flavors became mundane textures. It was here Subaru figured out that the only way to ever get that taste again was to never have it until his body demanded it.

So began Subaru's terrible cycle of starving, fanatical cooking, and decelerated eating, which took its toll on Subaru to a point where he started losing weight. It was enough to bring his mother to tears at the heart-breaking sight of her son slowly deteriorating, and his father took measures to make sure Subaru wouldn't starve to death.

Meals were planned ahead of time and were mandatory to be eaten. Kenichi and Naoko had stopped asking how the food tasted as it only made Subaru's mood worse, which is why the meals were small - but full of protein and nutrients - so their son wouldn't feel like he was doing something strenuous, as eating anything bigger made Subaru feel like he was doing something grueling.

Once again Subaru was confronted with a problem affecting his life, yet this time he learned from his past. He may not have some cheat power that will solve all his problems in an instant - something he used to fantasize about - but if there is one thing he learned from his father, is that Subaru can take little steps into improving his life.

When he wanted to cook something, he would do it with his mother.

Subaru would go outside to the market and buy fresh ingredients instead of those frozen or canned, which improved the textures of the food.

He would watch videos and learn recipes to make foods from different cultures.

And when he had to eat his mandatory meal, he would do it in front of the television watching a show with his dad.

It was nothing drastic nor major, but it helped.

But there were dark days where his mind would wonder when he ran out of things to do. Even though Subaru's parents reassured him they would always support him as he made the effort to fix himself and stabilize his life, Subaru would feel like the world was a bland and flavorless meal that wasn't worth indulging in. It scared him sometimes for thinking that, and it frightened him for feeling indifferent to it. Those thoughts would plague the young man.

At least until he got the motivation to cook for himself.

Which is what he did today.

Subaru looked down at his food, his hopes of having a satisfying meal crushed harder than the nuts he roasted in the oven with spices - before smashing and sprinkling it into the batter for a thick, yet smooth, chocolate cake. A slice of the dessert still on his plate, a few bites scooped out. It was delicious, just not delicious enough to satisfy him.

"At least dad can enjoy it," Subaru said as he began packing the rest of the cake away before turning to face his mom across the table. "Any improvement tips?"

"It's already delicious," Naoko reassured her son. "I'm just happy you're eating more."

"I guess I've been craving something sweet," Even though he could barely taste it. "But I've noticed you were picky when eating the cake - you wouldn't eat the nuts."

"Oh please don't get the wrong idea, your cake is wonderful," She reassured. "I just hate things that are tiny and round."

"I guess everyone has a preference - wait a second!" Subaru turned to his mother. "Then why did you tell me to smash the nuts into smaller pieces? If I knew it was going against your preferences, I wouldn't have put it in the cake."

"You made this cake for yourself; if you wanted nuts, then you should add nuts," Naoko said. "Sometimes you have to do what you want to do without worrying about how others will think; a meal is only good when you put the passion in to make it."

"It'd be nice if I could make a meal that everyone enjoys."

"Subaru," His mother reached over before putting her hand on his before giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze, looking directly at his eyes with a warm smile. "I'm happy when you are happy. While it is important to show care for others, sometimes you have to take the time to focus on yourself. The more important thing is: were you happy when you were cooking?"

While Subaru couldn't taste the full impact of his cake, he could easily notice the unconditional love his mother had for him.

Subaru knows he is not okay, but he is making progress, and he has people who support him. He's not going to resolve his problems by merely running away from them or going to another world - something his past self desired. But he is making progress, even if it's a little bit, and as long as he has his parents to help him at home, Subaru will make small steps to take care of himself.

"...Yeah," He gave his mom a nod and a small smile. "I did."

"There's going to be a bargain today at the grocery store", Subaru said as he put on his black and orange jacket. "There are some goods they're marking the price down on - I'm not going to waste today away and let those deals slip from my grasp!"

"Going early while it's not so crowded?" His mother asked; it was nice seeing her son go out into the world instead of camping in his room like he used to.

"I can take my time deciding what I want," Subaru agreed. "That way I won't have to worry about the lines being long either."

"This means you'll have plenty of time to go on your computer and read more fantasy stories when you come back home."

"Ugh, I don't do that anymore!" Subaru groaned. "I indulge in those too much to the point where I want to go to another world!"

"But what about the adventure?" Naoko teased - she knew her son's opinion on the genre and it would always get him riled up - it was better than seeing him lethargic and starving himself. "Meeting a cute girl? Being blessed with power and saving the day? You used to dream about stuff like that."

"Yeah, used to. The reason why a hero is summoned to save the world is that there's a threat capable of ending it - I don't want to deal with that! "

"Even if you get an amazing reward at the end?"

"No reward can be worth going through a fantasy adventure," Subaru stated clearly with passion. "Name me one fantasy hero protagonist who hasn't suffered or seen something traumatizing? I'd rather stay at home with you and dad."

"While it makes me happy that you're happy with your life here, I would like it if you became independent as well; having a 40-year-old son who is still living with his parents isn't exactly an ideal-."

"T-That's not what I meant and you know it!" Subaru said with a flustered face. "I'm going outside now!"

"Then you better get going before more people show up at the store… unless you want those bargain deals to slip from your grasp?"

"Never!" Subaru said with determination as he prepared to leave. Naoko was glad she saw a bit of her son's eccentric side come out. "They're mine! Mine, I say!"

"Wow, you sure did buy a lot!"

"The perishables were on sale and I like to buy them in bulk," Subaru agreed as the lady at the register scanned his items. "Plus the non-perishables were marked off so it saves money in the long run. I've been saving up on coupons too."

"You sure did - but buying extra knives and a new cutting board? Usually, those last a long time before you need to replace them."

"It's for me. That way I don't have to use the same cutting board with my mom at home."

"I'm surprised you went with the animal meats that have bones in them."

"It's cheaper than the boneless variants," Subaru handed over the thick stack of coupons he and his dad collected as a side hobby. "Besides, it doesn't matter if it's beef, pork, or chicken - I learned how to debone animal meat at home. I use the bones to make a nice broth."

"Well, who knew Kenichi's son was a passionate cook - I bet your dad must be proud!"

While the comment was seemingly harmless, Subaru still felt a pang of annoyance; he was referred to as 'Kenichi's son' instead of his name. He decided to just let it go and continued with his life. At least now when he was compared to his father it didn't feel like a curse - while he still looks up to his dad, Subaru realized that he no longer had to become like him.

Subaru had learned to accept himself, and he had never felt more relieved.

"He sure is proud," Subaru agreed - although not for the same reasons. "So what's my total?"

After paying for his stuff, Subaru loaded the items onto a large wooden wagon he and his dad assembled at home. Subaru was tired of carrying his goods in bags while walking home in the hot sun, and while he did recover some weight from his disastrous eating habits it wasn't enough to recover to his former physique. Subaru and his father created something to make the process of transporting the materials easier.

Subaru pulled on the long metal handle on the front of the wagon before walking out of the store. It wobbled a bit as he did, and he noticed the wagon needed a touch of maintenance - they did cut some corners when making it - but Subaru would only do it when his dad had free time. He enjoyed spending time with his father.

Cooking exotic foods and constructing small projects, Subaru mused to himself in silence. I would have killed it in home economics and woodshop! I should plan out my return to school - I don't want to end up in a class doing something I'm not interested in.

Subaru didn't care about how his peers at school perceived him to be a clown and had let go of any feelings of the embarrassment of his reckless behavior that caused him to be isolated. If he makes friends at school? Great. If he spends the rest of his school journey as a loner? Oh well.

If it's one thing he learned from this experience, is that caring too much about how others see him isn't healthy.

And it was that very bit of wisdom that made Subaru optimistic about his future.

"I can't believe I desired to go to another world," Subaru said, silently cringing at his previous mindset. "As if I could leave my loving parents behind!"

As he took those steps outside the store, Subaru began to imagine what he would cook for his father; something hearty and a bit of a kick to its taste, but nothing too extreme, while keeping in mind his mother's avoidance of things tiny and round.

"What would I even make… a curry maybe?" Subaru thought out loud. "But it would need something else other than meat. I could use fruit to offset the spices, but what should I use?"

"Hey kid, you wanna buy this apple?"

"No, I don't think apples would - whoa!" Subaru instantly snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the man in front of him. The two long scars on his face, the dark green hair, and his muscular body holding an apple in front of him. "Oh I'm sorry, is this your fruit stand?"

"Obviously," The man's tone gave Subaru the impression that he was serious about his job. "So are you going to buy something?"

"Well, no, I already bought some apples-"

"Then get out of the way - you're holding up the line!"

"Sorry!" Subaru quickly apologized before turning to leave. How did he get so lost in his thoughts he ended up daydreaming in front of a fruit stand? "I must have made a wrong turn somewhere..."

Subaru's words died in his throat when he turned around.

He found himself in an open market he didn't recognize. Exchanging money he can't identify. People that he saw were human and some that were not. In the distance, he saw writing he could not read. And there was much more which proved Subaru's worst fears true.

He was transported to a new world; snatched away from his family.

"Hey kid," The apple merchant called out to him when he saw Subaru still as a statue, staring out at nothing with a mortified expression on his face. "Are you okay?"

"No…" Subaru's voice was on the verge of tears as he saw a notification screen pop up in front of him. "No… no, I'm not okay… because I finally got my life back together…!"

Welcome to the first day of your new life!

"No, please!" Subaru cried out, hoping some deity would hear his plea. "Send me back - let me go home!"

He was only met with silence and concerned looks from strangers in this foreign land.

So basically those snippets into the future will be in italics so they don't get confused with the rest of the story. I'm going to put those in at the top of a chapter when a new arc stars - just are warned that some are longer than others.

The main reason I set this chapter up was to establish this Subaru's mindset in this AU. His self-loathing and dangerous idolization of his dad has been replaced with malnourishment and lack of stimulation concerning smell and taste, where eating feels more of a hassle than a necessity. But he is going to value himself more and stand up for himself.

As for the next chapter, I'm just going to jump into the action because what I see too many times in a Re: Zero fics is that it's a pseudo-copy of arc 1 and it takes like 3 to 5 chapters to get through it before the story even begins. Yes, I'm aware of this would detrimental as there wouldn't be any build-up nor Subaru's reactions, but again this chapter clearly shows his opinions on going to another world. So frankly, writing three chapters of him expressing his opinions isn't exactly fun to read.

I DID try and write it out, but I was just SO bored that I couldn't get myself to try and finish it. The most important thing I've learned when writing is to have fun, so I'm going to take it at my pace.

Finally, thank you for the support - I didn't think people would respond so well to this story either. And to clarify something that's going to be brought up: it's not cannibalism if the person you are eating isn't the same species.