Chapter 7

No rest for the wicked

Jon stared at the ceiling in the dim light of the fireplace. He had no idea how long he had stared at it. His chamber was quiet, all he heard was Lady Elyse's calm breathing. She was finally asleep. When he had told her to take his bed, she had clearly thought that he was making fun of her or something. She had remained suspicious and vigilant even after he had settled on the fur he had placed on the floor. Not that he could blame her.

She thought that he had forced her to wed him. Undressed her against her will. Touched her without her consent. Of course she hated him. How was he supposed to make her believe him? He had no idea. And what about his father then? Lord Stark had always treated him the same way he treated his other children, and this was how Jon had repaid him. By upsetting Lady Stark.

All of this was like a bad dream. And yet… Slowly Jon got up, trying not to make a sound. Lady Elyse looked calm. Peaceful. And beautiful. So very beautiful. Jon felt guilty for looking at her when she was asleep, but he couldn't help himself. She was no doubt the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. A woman who someone like him should have never been allowed to even look at. And now she was his wife. He still couldn't believe it.

He had tried his hardest not to look at her when she had been naked, but he had seen… some things. Of course he had seen a naked woman before, thanks to Theon who had dragged him and Robb to the brothel with him couple of times, but the truth was that Jon had never actually been with a woman. He had paid to a woman in the brothel once and she had taken him to her room, but he hadn't been able to go through with it.

He couldn't bear the thought of fathering a bastard. Like him. Except that he wasn't a bastard anymore. His name wasn't Snow anymore; it was Stark. And this woman was his wife. How was any of that possible?

Under different circumstances, he would have been the luckiest man in Westeros. Right now, he felt everything but lucky. His wife, who had been forced to wed him, hated him. His father's wife hated him. The King most likely hated him. Not to mention there was the disturbing question. Who had done this to him and Lady Elyse?

Jaime emptied another goblet of wine and gloomily glanced at the King. Of course, the old goat was drunk and merry as usual. He chuckled while joking about his sister and the boy. He suspected that the boy would be drained and unconscious by now, Robert doubted that he had half as much stamina as the King himself.

Obviously, Jaime understood that Robert was trying to convince everyone that Lady Elyse's marriage had been completely the King's decision all along. There was no scandal. The King had given his sister to this boy because he had wanted to. End of story. Jaime felt that he needed more wine. Absentmindedly he picked up his goblet and glanced at a servant who hurried to fill it.

He needed to get rid of his guilt. There was no reason for him to feel guilty. He had done what was necessary. For Cersei and their children. It wasn't like he would have arranged Elyse to marry someone like Robert.

The boy had seemed tolerable enough. Surely, he would treat her well. Of course he would. She would be fine. Jaime pressed his lips together. Damn it. He looked around and spotted Lord Stark's heir. Perfect. Cersei had already retired, so this was a good opportunity.

"Good evening," Jaime greeted the young Stark and took a seat beside him. His friend seemed to be dancing with some young lady.

Robb Stark seemed slightly surprised as he responded to Jaime's greeting.

"Good evening."

"You surely know how to throw a feast here," Jaime continued after a moment of silence.

"Aye."

"Is this a typical northern wedding feast?"

"Aye, we like to celebrate a marriage properly."

"I see." Jaime paused, choosing his next words carefully. "This wedding was quite a surprise."

The Stark boy looked somewhat cautious as he nodded.

"I suppose so."

Jaime doubted the boy could know about his and Elyse's engagement, it hadn't yet been a public knowledge.

"So… Your brother seems like a fine young man, your father must be proud of all his sons."

"Of course," the Stark boy replied. Now he was most certainly cautious. And suspicious. This had been a mistake. Apparently, the boy was smarter than what he looked.

"Well, I just wanted to thank your family for your hospitality and congratulate you. Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you."

Jaime sighed while returning to his own seat. That had certainly been useless. If he wanted to know more about the bastard son, he needed to talk to someone else. Or then he could simply forget the whole thing. Everything was like it was supposed to be, why should he care what kind of a husband the boy was.

Because he couldn't just leave Elyse with the boy without knowing at least something. There was no point denying his guilt. He shouldn't have given in so easily; he should have insisted arranging Elyse to Robb Stark. At least then she would have had a comfortable life as the future Lady of Winterfell.

Now she was the property of the bastard son. He could do anything to her. Who knew what she had already been through tonight? No, Jaime couldn't just leave her like that. He had caused her harm, there was nothing he could do to change that, but he wasn't a monster. At least he hoped that he wasn't.