"Take out a piece of paper." Mr. Ryan directed. All of the glee kids did as instructed. "And on that paper, I want you to write down your biggest dream, a dream that means so much, you're afraid to admit it even to yourself."
Santana thought for a second and wrote down: family. It may have been dumb, it was quite a common dream, but she wanted to have a family even if she was going to be a teen mom. She was a sap, whatever. She looked next to her at Quinn's paper and looked at what she had written: no stretch marks. She suddenly found herself rethinking what she had written down. Maybe she should write something dumb, like new shoes.
Mr. Ryan grabbed Artie's paper and crumpled it to throw it. "Your dream is never going to happen. Ninety-one percent of you will spend your entire lives living in Allen County, Ohio. So unless you wrote down that your dream was to work for a mid-market health insurance provider, or find an entry-level job at an elderly-care facility, you're going to be very disappointed."
Well that was inspiring. Santana spaced out as usual for the rest of the class. Would she end up raising her kid on a mediocre job with no one to share her life with? She didn't want that for herself or for her daughter. She had dreams. She had ambition, she wanted to do things. She wasn't going to be stuck her whole life in Ohio.
Then it occurred to her, maybe Quinn wants that. Maybe she wants them to raise their kid in Ohio. They had never really talked about any logistics. They hadn't planned anything for when the baby came. That was going to be in three months. They had no time to prepare at all. What if Quinn decided this is not what she wanted after all? What if they realise they aren't capable of raising a kid together because they are just kids themselves?
Santana was starting to freak out, and all she could think of was making things right for her little girl.
"What do you think of parenting classes?"
"What?"
Quinn and Santana were sat down in the dining room doing homework together. Well, it was really Quinn who was doing homework, Santana was on her laptop searching for information about babies.
"Parenting classes, what do you think about them?" Santana asked again.
"I heard what you said the first time, I just meant why are you asking."
"I want us to go to parenting classes. We're already way behind on the things that we can provide for the baby compared to other parents, so I'm thinking we should be as prepared as we can be." Santana explained.
"What even are parenting classes?" Quinn asked.
"Well, they teach you basic things, and mostly parenting techniques that are healthy for the child. I think it'll be good for us."
"Okay, I guess we can try." Quinn said and went back to her homework.
After the blonde finished her assignments she looked up at Santana and found her worriedly looking at the computer screen.
"San?" The other girl looked up at her, worry still etched on her face. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay." The other girl answered quickly.
Quinn was not reassured but decided to let it go for now.
"What happened to your car?" Quinn asked, confused. Santana was about to drive them to school like every day, but Quinn noticed that the car was not Santana's muscle car, it was a white SUV.
"I changed it. For the baby. Did you know that SUVs are statistically safer for babies than other cars?" Santana said.
Quinn thought it was extremely weird that Santana had changed her car, especially without talking to her first. She frowned but got in the passenger seat.
"Burt got me a really cool deal, I just had to put in some money. But the car's totally worth it. It's new, and I think I like it more than my old car." Santana explained.
"That's great San. Maybe next time you make a big change like this you could talk to me first?" Quinn requested.
"Oh shit." Santana cursed, realising that she had made a major change without talking to her girlfriend about it. Girlfriend? Partner maybe? Co-parent? They weren't girlfriends, so co-parents was probably the right word. "Sorry, I was just excited about it, I kinda forgot. I'll let you in on things next time."
"Okay."
"Maybe we could go shopping today. For baby stuff. We should start making her room and start buying her things."
"Yeah, sure." Quinn said. Santana was definitely acting weird. She didn't know how to explain it. It was like her mind was going a mile a minute. Like she was running out of time to do things. "You know, we still have time to do things. We can take it slow, try to enjoy it. We don't have to get everything done today. We have time, San." Quinn explained softly.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Santana wasn't convinced.
They had bought a lot of baby stuff. They had also gotten everything for the baby' room, they just had to figure out where to put everything, because they had gotten a lot of stuff.
"Which room is going to be her room?" Quinn asked.
"Well the house has two guest rooms, one upstairs, which is yours, and one downstairs. That one could be hers." Santana explained.
"I don't want her to be that far though." Quinn complained.
"Okay, maybe you could move into my room, and we'll give her your room." Santana offered, but then regretted it when she realised the implication of it. "You know what, we can think of something els-"
"I think it's a good idea. Are you sure? I don't want to invade your space."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure," Santana muttered, surprised Quinn had accepted her offer. "I'll move all the baby stuff to the room. I'll help you move your stuff to mine if you want."
And with that Santana left and started to move everything as fast as she could. Quinn really didn't know what was going on with Santana, but she was getting even more worried now.
"Hey Quinn, I've been looking over some daycares and I want us to make a decision on one for the baby." Santana said as soon as she entered her bedroom. Well, now it was their bedroom.
Quinn was just on the bed reading a book when Santana entered. "Hey Santana, how was your day? Mine was not so good, thanks for asking. Your daughter has decided to press into my bladder the whole day so I feel like I want to pee all the time. She is also very heavy and my back and feet hurt, so how was your non-pregnant day?" Quinn answered, annoyed.
"I-I, um." Santana didn't know what to say to that. She had an uneventful day, she did eat a great sandwich at work, but she thought telling Quinn about that was not a great idea.
"What is this nonsense about daycare you're talking about?" Quin asked, clearly still annoyed.
Santana sat down on her desk chair and rested back. "Well, I was looking over some daycares and I thought it would be a good idea for us to make a decision on one before the baby comes, so when we need it, the decision is already made." Santana explained.
"We're not putting her in daycare for at least a while, San. Like, until she's like one." Quinn said, closing her book and placing it on the nightstand.
"Yeah, I know, but we should still see them-" Santana started, but was cut off.
"San, what is going on?" Quinn asked with a sigh.
"What do you mean? With the daycares?" Santana asked, confused.
"No Santana, stop talking about the stupid daycares for a moment. You've been acting crazy all week. First with the parenting classes, then the car, then the whole baby room thing. What made you act all crazy? Why are you acting like you're running out of time?" Quinn asked.
"We are running out of time, Quinn. How can you not realise that? In less than three months a baby is going to be living with us. We are going to be raising this baby. And, I don't know if you've realised, but there is so much planning to do. We don't know who's going to take care of her when we're at school, can we still be in glee club when she's here? Will we have the time to do those types of things? Can I even still have a job? Can we still be teenagers? We don't know the first thing about being parents, Quinn. We are fucked." Santana ranted.
Quinn sighed. "Come here." She beckoned her over and patted the space next to her. Santana took the seat reluctantly. "Do you think your parents had it all down when it came to you?" Quinn asked softly.
"No, but they had my abuela to help them."
"And we have both of your parents." Quinn reasoned with her.
"We have no money-"
"San, stop trying to make excuses and tell me what this is actually about. I don't have money. You do have money. Your parents have money, you have a job, and our daughter will have money." Quinn commented and took Santana's face in her hands. "So, what is actually worrying you?"
"What if we end up like Mr. Ryan said? With mediocre jobs, living in Lima our whole lives? I don't want that. I don't want to be a mechanic for the rest of my life, I want to be able to study something I want and provide for my family, and live somewhere more open-minded. Isn't that something you want?" Santana asked, exasperated that Quinn couldn't see what she was talking about.
"Of course that's something I want. Why would I want to be in Lima the reset of my life working as a telemarketer or something?" Quinn asked.
"Well, I don't know, we never talked about the future!"
"Well now's a great time to do so!"
"Yeah!" Santana nodded and stood up suddenly. "How are we going to raise a child and not fuck up? I didn't have parents for half of my life, and no offence, but you don't have the best role models in the world."
"Santana, we can do this, I need you to believe a little bit. I know we are unprepared, and don't have the best role models, but we can do this. We've been preparing for this. And the parenting classes that we're taking are actually great. Isn't it something important that we're willing to make an effort? The fact that we care so much and love our daughter so much that we are trying to make this really shitty situation work for her? So she can grow up in the best environment possible?" Quinn tried reasoning again, now standing up in front of Santana.
"Well, when you say it like that it actually sounds like we're great parents." Santana said, avoiding Quinn's eyes.
"Yeah, because we're going to be. Now, are you done acting crazy?" Santana nodded in response. "Great, now can you please tell me why you decided once again to skip talking to me and go straight to freaking out?"
"When you put it like that, it sounds like I suck at communication, and like I royally fucked up." Santana said, trying to get away with it.
"You did. I'm mad at you." Quinn said, crossing her arms.
Well shit. This was not how Santana expected the conversation to go when she entered the room. "I'm sorry?"
"Was that an apology or a question?" Quinn asked, eyebrow raised.
That eyebrow was going to be the death of her. "Both?" Santana was unsure on how to navigate this conversation without pissing Quinn off.
"Santana, I'm being serious. It's getting tiring having to drag every answer and emotion out of you." Quinn sighed, letting herself fall onto the bed.
Santana frowned and did the same. "I know. I'm trying. I'm not used to telling other people about my every movement, or my feelings." Santana explained. "I swear to god I'm trying."
"I know you are. I don't want to force you to tell me things, but we have to be one, we're a team, okay?"
"Yeah." Santana nodded. "I guess I just wanted to show you that we can do this. I don't want you to change your mind about all of this."
"You're kind of infuriating sometimes."
"I know."
Quinn leaned in and kissed Santana's cheek, and then pecked her lips repeatedly. They ended up making out on the bed, both on their sides, until Santana felt the urge to stop them.
"Are you my girlfriend?" She asked in a small voice.
"I sure hope so, I'm carrying your child." Quinn joked.
Santana laughed. "Right."
My mind was all over the place. I wrote and rewrote conversations like crazy. It was a weird chapter, but I quite liked it. Thanks for the reviews, should I start answering them in the next chapters? I never thought of that. Until next time!
